Thursday, February 4, 2016

The Man In The Iron Mask Review

note; my eyboard is crummy so theres typoes
the man in the iron mask
this is my reiew on the man in the iron mask(the 30s version)
its by james whale
its set in the Castlevania days of the 1600s
in france?!
wernt they the bad guys?
IT starts with the kings woman pooping out babys
king louie Anderson has a son who is set to be the new king
but the woman also poops out another kid
a twin
and not like that danny DeVito swartenegger film
they take HER kid and say
her sons belong to france
im american
I prefer individual rghts over the state stealing ours
so these frenchies take the twin to a secret passage and show him his son
but in fraNCE there can be only 1
they fear the sons would split france into civil war so they decide to only let one rule and hide one away with one of the 3 musketeers(dARtanion)
im surprised they didn't eat the 2nd kid
this is turning into a Japanese rpg
in yugioh when there were twin sons of the pharaoh they had one rule and one as his advisor
they have the dr and midwife executed
and some other frenchie was listening
21 years later the new king is a jerk and ruining france
just like the democats and liberals lol
I think the king is executing people for not paying taxes and getting joy from it
one guy says dartanion is living on land the former king gave him tax free
the listener is the guy who suggested it
he's used his info of the other son to starscream his way to the top of france
im surprised the frenchies didn't execute him for that
meanwhile, the twin is living with the musketeers and they raised him to be honorable and skilled with the blade and smart and skilled
france is always suffering under bad leaders or commies
the taxmen come for the musketeers and they sword fight
this would make a good videogame
somehow they get captured
later an Austrian princess and Spanish guy come in for a meeting
the king tries to seduce the Austrian chick
hes gonna bum b0ne her!
the king seems a bit prissy and odd
I bet he has a weird fetish
the Austrian is engaged to the French king
what will their kids do in ww1?!
one French citizen throws a rock at the window and is tortured
he reveals theres an assassination plot
they torture him more and the king gets sadistic joy
I bet hes into leather
he is obliged to light a candle for his dads name day
and its more important to him than the assassination
hope the assassination blows off his hot dog
the king finds the twin was cheered as he looks like the king
the king meets his twin and they have some dialogue
he blackmails the twin to go to the candle thing in his place
I thought the twin never saw a mirror b4 nor knew about the king in the book
at the candle thing theres an attack but the twin makes friends with em
hes becoming more popular than the real king
this is sort of a reverse batman
the twin also makes friends with the austrian
seems the king never cared for her
I think hes queer
Austrians are the best
but the king is into this blonde frenchie
I assume theyre related
the Austrian comes back but finds hes b0ning the blonde
I think she may be spanish
the austrian
not the blonde
the austriN meet the twin again and hey have somr lovey dialogue
the king looks on like a deviant
then returns to the blonde
while talking to the twin the Austrian sez the king forgets shes a woman
the listener reveals the Austrians letter she sent to her dad to the king
also some Spanish guy was iced by the frenchies
the listener did it
the king says he prefers an English allience
I assume that's gay slang
some frenchie reveals to the twin that his dad was the king
he dosnt say t but alludes to it
then the guy has a plan to have the twin marry the Austrian and be king for a day
he goes out to meet the running away Austrian and wins her back
then they get wedded
its a betrothal
whats the difference?!
I went to make mac/cheese but didn't miss musch
twin frees the musketeers by pretending to be the king
the listener plans to capture the twin
twin goes to see the Austrian princess to say bye
the listener guns down the twins horse as he ties to escape but he claims to be the king and is taken back to the palace
hes going to hang the twin but its revealed hes really the twins bro
the the queen who hasn't been seen for a while comes in and greets her sons
the king wants vengeance on the twin
the king plans to send the twin to a place no one will know he looks like the king
and plans to seal the twin in an IRON MASKE
and the king wants to keep the only key on a golden chain net to his heart
I knew he had weird fetishs!
and he has his twin locked in solitary for life
I know its meant to be shocking
but after violence jack and Urotsukidoji im hard to disturb
then a month happens
the listener plans to have something done to the guy who planned to have the twin wed the Austrian
they frame him for embezzelement and plan to have him hanged
the musketeers use underground passages(SEWERS LIKE THE NINJA TURTLES) to sneak around the ton
they find out about the twins sentence and plan a rescue operation
just like with Griffith in berserk
dartainion fakes being a weird guy to trick the guards into going on a wild goose chase
its revealed about the twin to the Austrian chick
while the king is drunk, the Austrian chick seduces him and gets the key to the maske
the musketeers go rescue the twin
they cant tak the maske off
so they escape through the ninja turtle sewers
then they take the mask off offscreen
and they gather in the bedroom of the king
this is how P0RN0S start
he begs them to spare him yet the twin has had enough of giving him chances
like in Robocop where he says; im not arresting you anymore Clarence!
the twin gives this good speech about counting the kings sins or whatever and seals him in the maske
they then sneak him back below the jail and leave him in the cell he intended for his own twin
now his beggings for mercy are unreplied and he fell into his own trap
just like with garlic jr in dbz
he gets the whip!
about time he got a beating
hes gonna learn to love it
the listener talks with the twin but hes a good guy and takes off the taxes the bad king put on the people
then the guy who was to be framed for embezzlement comes in and theyre all friends
just like in batman begins
or was it the dark knoght?
later the king begs to do "anything" to be free
this is how P0RN0S start
the king carves a letter on his dinnerplate with his spoon and uses it to send a message to the listener
he gets the message and he sends to have the king brought over
later the twin is getting married
and the listener comes in and outs him
oh and hes got a gun
the listener capped the blonde
they gather for the final battle
they fight and one musketeer gets capped
but hes ok
theres a chase
and another musketeer gets capped
but hes also ok
then the carriage with the king goes off a cliff and he gets killed off
then the twin gets married the the chick and I think the musketeers go to heaven
for the man in the iron mask 2 I'd like those loyal to the king to discover hes dead and to have a quest to revive him. no. I want the queen mother to sacrifice herself to revive her son as she loves him despite all his bad traits. he gains necro powers from being in heck and raises all the dead frenchies as zombie slaves and tries to retake the france. so the priests cast a blessing on the twin and he gains holy blows and can destroy zombies with holy power. the brother teleports the twin away and he takes over while the twin fights his way back across zombie infested france

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