Friday, February 12, 2016

Alien Review

note; not as many typoes as usual
this is muy rview on aliehn
they usually show the sequel aliens on tv non stop so seeing the original is a treat
but that was a great sequel
its widescreen
so its set in space with a 7 man crew carrying 20 000 000 tons of mineral ore in a space thing
I love the spaceship design and how it looks real
better than cg
the automated systems awaken the crew from hyperslee4p and they are in white undies
kinda like in that 80s anime LILY C.A.T.
after they've dressed and whizzed offscreen, they're eatingbreakfast
1 guy is smoking
on a spaceship with an enclosed air supply??
you cant even do that on a sumberine
and they can surface
they go to their posts and find they aint near earth
theyre only 1/2 way home
the comp woke em up cuz it got a message from something unknown
and if they don't check it out they don't get paid
not much happens in this film but it stays entertaining
kinda like the 1st x men film
its got good pacing and build up
I also notice the space shots of the starship are like in Robotech
they land a craft on the planetoid where the signa is coming from but something gets screwed up
when they explore they find a strange construct like a weird star ship or temple
they go into it(hope they have weapons) and find this fossilized giant demony thing
its had something tear out of its torso from inside
meanwhile the computer has deciphered part of the transmission and its a warning
the team goes in deeper into the place and finds these eggs
one opens and a monster comes out
really good effects btw
better than the cg used in alien vs predator
the monster latches onto the smoker
but he's in a space suit
despite being against protocol, they wanna bring hm in
a guy opens the door and they take off his spacesuit
the space monster has burned through his helmet and is wrapped around his face
they cant pull it off so they put him in a scanner or microwave or w/e
its got a tentacle down his throat and its keeping him alive
they cut at it but acid spills out and burns through floors in the ship
they try to catch it(not sure what they were gonna do abouit it) but it stops
later the tentacle monster just dies and falls off
they try to leave the planet and do so
later the smoker is awake and hardly remembers wjhat jhappenerd
as they have a meal the smoker talks about when he gets back to earth
but then he starts gaging and a phaIIic monster breaks outta his torso
fun thing
i was trying to get a friend  to do voices for my urotsukidoji abridged
he thought urotsukidoji was a P0RN0
i said
most P0RN0ES dont have skinnings and beheadings and bone and organ removal and corpses puking out their organs and the guts turning into daemons
he sed
most horror movies dont have giant D-CKS killing people and dripping with goo
i replied
what about alien? the creatures are very crotchular and phallik
so we both had good points
the monster runs away and the ship launches the smokers body into space
the crew prepares to look for it to launch it into space after capture
I like the interiors of the space ship
its sorta like a direct to video 80s sci fi thing
they find something but its just a cat
why is there a cat on this mission?!
its just like in LILY C.A.T.
1 guy goes after it but finds the c monsters shed skin(eww)
good tension in here with him walking in an empty place and no dialogue
then the phaIIic monster has somehow grown huge (eww)and kills him and escapes into a cooling duct
the humans wanna blast it into space through the air ducts
they seal the ducts and send guys in em while watching on a screen
but it gets em
the other chick (not sigorni weever) wants to escape and the black guy wants to fight it
sigorni weever checks the computer for help but it only wats to bring the alien back above all others
in Robocop
his prime directives were
protect the innocent
uphold the law
serve the public trust
directive 4???
here humans don't matter
then this guy beats up sigorni qweever and trys to stick anewspaper in her mouth
the other humans try to stop him but he grabs the black guys nipple
they fight back and his head comes off
he was a robot full of milk
the company wanted the alien as a weapon
they plug the head in and ask how to kill it
he seZ THEY cant
its the perfect organism
u mean
they plan to nuke the ship and escape in the shuttle
also the black guy flamethrowers the robot
sigorni weever goes after the cat
why's she calling its name?
cats never respond
it jumps out and scares her like in pet semetary
the alien kills the black guy with its extending inner mouth
then the other chick
she goes to check it out(but theyre obviously dead) and runs away
she sets the ship to self detonate and find the guy who was 1st taken into the vents earlier
I thought he bit it
he asks her to kill him and she roasts him with a flame thrower
that wont kill him
ill  him suffer worse
she runs through the ship and goes back to the controls for nuking the ship
she does something but the ships still gonna self detonate
why does the ship have a suicide option?
incase they're captured?
by who?
she gets the cat and runs to the shuttle
1 minute to go!
1 minute to go!
1 minute to go!
1 minute to go!
she flys off and the ship nukes
shouldn't she get microwaved by the explosion?
or the after effects?
she puts the cat in the hypersleep machine and takles off her clothes so shes in her undies
shouldn't the whole crew just be in their undies?

why wear uniforms?
its just those 7
then the alien is in therewith her
it moves slowly with a strobe light
she gets dressed in a space suit and gets a gun
she gets out while singing andseatbelts herself in
she blasts it with steam or coolant then opens the airlock
it clings to the door but she shoots it with a grappling hook gun so it flys out
the door closes and the alien gets burned up in the ships thrusters
she gives a report of her experiences into a recorder and goes to hypersleep
the end
I liked this
way better than 2001
things made more sense here
and they actually had weapons on a long voyage
and stuff actually happens
this is like if 2001 was done right
plus we actually fight the space monsters
for alien 2 I'd like a new team of explorers to be sent to the planet with the fossilized demon and try to get stuff for the company to use as weapons. then we jump ahead a few decades and the aliens are ll weaponized and the company uses them to go to war with the race the fossilized demon was of as they knew they were gonna attack the earth and needed to fight fire with fire. the weaponized aliens are bioarmor that is a living suit of alien but a human can wear and control and it has equipable things and blades.

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