Thursday, February 4, 2016

Mutiny On The Bounty Review

note; my keybosrd is badly designd so expect sum typoes
mutinuy on the bouny
this is my review on the film, mutinity on the bounty
the clark gabel version
its set around the time of Castlevania rondo of blood
t sarts with some text bu I didn't eally read it
reading is for buttmo's
tese brits come to a bar and draft some humans into service
against their will
that's how 1812 happened
taking people into slavery
I assume the brittish guy is the villain
as those britmo's usually are
Oscar wildes accusation
war crimes in ww1 and ww2
th beatles
the royal wedding
the pregnancy
klling daiana
englands been the bad guy for over 200 years
good thing for mel Gibson
oh and piers morgan
that guy is a buttmo
I mention the latter as hes proof of England being evil
so this guy pleads to be set free but the brit wont let him
and one of these brits is drunk
some of these people hav families
how sad
this one guy has been at sea for 2 years
this reminds me of how in Robotech how they go off into space for several years
the captain seem to be an elitist who doesn't care about his slaves
he orders one guy whipped for some minor reason
he got over 300 lashes
even american slaves didn't get that many
or at least it wasn't for as minor a reason
and they make a freakin ritual out of it
he died b4 the whipping
but these brits aren't letting his corpse off so easy
they whip his corpse 300x
this is like Saw
one of the draftees was disturbed by the corpse whipping
if they were in some other part of Europe they'd probable eat the body
I've read those grimms faery tales
hansel and gretle
little red rding hood
most involve cannibalism and/or attempted cannibalism
so they launch the ship and go on their mission cheerfully after necro sadism
clark gable tries to reason with the captian but he don't care
hes unsettled by his men(slaves) being disturbed by him torturing a corpse
later these brits look at a lantern swaying and it makes the hurl
then they fight
but the captain punishes the fighter by sending him to the top of the mast in a storm
will he die?
place bets now!
hes up there through the rain and the night as the captain said
stay up there til I call you down
at night clark gable brings him down
this is seeming like riki-oh how the prision treats humans like cockroaches
the captain sends him back up for more punishment
theres one sailor who has a wooden leg and thinks positive of being an amputee
he suggests citting off a leg
I think he has a fetish
like that guy in law and order svu
that ep was overplayed
they aied it like 4x in a thing
and it ends with the guy giving that monologue of his amputee fetish
it lasts like 2 mins!!
so afte the stoem the captain says a prayer and includes his king
I hate how these brits have such slavery to their empire! im american! for me, its; we the people! not; we who are subservient to the regent!
he punishes these guys for  some reason
hes trying to break their spirits
then we get a montage of him odering men to get lashes for minor things
oh blicketee black!!
he has a guy keelhauled for wanting water to wash his knees
he died
the captain then snds dying men ot to sea to row in boats for some reason
one guy collects buckets of what looks like waste
the captain finds they don't hae enough cheese
so he orders to limit rations
but a guy reveals the captain had him bring it to the captains home
so the captain has him punished
this is like a prison movie!
hes crucified to ropes for a day
the captain offers cheese to his officers
but they turn him down'
they tell the captain hes been unfair
the captain kicks hm out of the dining offericer area
I hope they do to him what happened to that guy in dawn of the dead and tear him open and eat his organs
the captain is starving his men while eating to obesity
this is like in riki-oh how the warden eats steak while the men eat eachother
the men catch a shark
one officer wants some but the guys refuse and smack him with it
the captain sees it ND has him whipped
the amputee tells various storys on losing his leg
like the joker telling his past
theyre out on the sea for 2 years?!
the captain wants clark to sign this report but he says no as the captain has bought cheap bad food to pocket cash At the expense of the men'
the captain threatens to court martial clark gable to make him sign the book
he signs it but says he wants an inquirey
the captain insults him and says a lot can happen on the way back to england
they arrive at the island of taheaty
they get island food
a bunch of islanders welcome them
around 5 mins in I whizzed but don't tink I missed much
the chief of the islanders makes this guy on the boat his official friend
the captain gives the chief a haT
I notice the women wear tops
in real life I assume there all be nude
these are some strangly Caucasian looking islanders
they stay with the islanders for several months and the friend leans their language
the islanders don't have a word or concept of cash
also, none of the islandes have face hair
except the leader who has a moustache
clark gable falls in love with the sorta Portuguese looking chiefs grND DAGHTER
clark gable; ladies man
the captian wants claRK to retrn after a day or so of shore leave
but he gets outta it as the islander sent to reclaim him says; he cant be found
later, he returns while longing for more island life
its like that 80s song; tarzan boy
clark makes out with the girl aND theres island scernery
I assume it means they b0ned
it has a long thing of him enjoying the island
he swims back and reveals that he knows the captain is pushing him into striking back so the captain can torture him
to keep his exotic trees healthy, he cuts the water rations of the men
just like in riki-oh how aneyama bathes in virgin girls blood to look young while crying over a bird dying
so the ship returns to England and the chief friend says bye to the chief knowing he wont return
the girl clark gabel loved gives her pearls
clark wants to return after they leave
he tells the girl he will be back
the captain captures "deserters" who just wanted to see the island and haS THem chained up
this is getting X rated
I bet in the real story (is this a true story?) the captain b0ned them for refusing his orders
the captain orders clark to give up the pearls his gf gave him
one slave is dying and the captain orders him to work
I think its the amputee
he comes up and dies
clark sez the aptain killed him
the crew has had enough
later they come across a cannibal island
clark sez that if he don't make it to England for the friend to tell his parents
one guy talks of starting an uprising
but clark sez no
one of the men in chains is tied up, gagged and beaten
this is getting X rated
clark snaps
he begins an uprising
just like 1776 or the confederates
they take over
if this were real life, they'd b0ne the captain all at once
maybe cut him open and b0ne his gutts
or just eat him piece by piece
its taken an hour and a half to have the mutiny on the bounty in the mutiny on the bounty
they kick the captain into a lifeboat and leave them to eat eachother on the ocean
some loyalists to the captain want to go with him but theres no room in da boat
the captain swears revenge when he gets to England
one guy wants to return to the way things were but clark beats him down
the men ditch the trees the captain was saving
now comes the reconstruction like after the alleged civil war
clark offers this guy a chance to not be detained in exchange for not trying to retake the boat
I foeget what he says but he also says that him and clark gable cant be friends anynore
like that roxete song; hings will never be the same
so the captain in the boat says to avoid the cannibal islands and to go thousands of miles to the next civilized place
th men doubt
good thing for cannibalism
after much time sailing the seas, the captain is hiping to get revenge and theyre running outta food
they catch a bird for a bit of food
the captain sees land but his crew are narly dead
later its xmas in england
and on some island the men from the bounty are back with the islanders
I notice all the men are still clean shaven
clark and friend become friends again
clark has bred with the girl he b0ned b4 and now theres a baby
one guy regrets leaving his son back in england
later this ship comes over to the island
they decide to escape and find some new island to hang out on
the ones who didn't want to mutany return to the ship expecting him to reward them
but the capain is the captain of this ship and has them locked up
hes out for blood
captain blood!
wait, wrong movie
after much time wandering the seas,clark gables crew is getting tired of it
the captains boat is getting busted
they hit something and the ship goes down
he has the chained crew let out of chains to escape the sinking ship
later, its England and they have a trial for the guys who were accused of mutany
at the trial the captain says he had no idea why the crew mutanied
he dumps all over this guys who were loyal to him
the guy who returned to see his wife and boy is crackin up
this seems like garrows law
they were found guilty
one guy outs how the captain was a monster
he gives an epic speech like the guy in a tale of 2 citys
talks about deserving freedom
too bad the English don't like freedom
they prefer to be slaves to the regent and his hords of inorganics
the guys get the chair
but since its the Castlevania days, they get hung
meanwhile, clark gable finds a free island and crashes the bounty to land there
one of the convicted men is pardoned
he goes back to working at sea
they then go off to find clark gable
the end
for mutinay on the bounty 2, I'd like for it to be set in the 1800s with the children of the cast of the 1st movie going off to fight England using a psychic connection to sea monsters like mosasaurs and megalodon and they team up with america and japan to free the world from English rule also, the captain has starscreamed his way to being the new king and wants to destroy the ocean to beat the islanders.

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