Thursday, February 4, 2016

8 Mile Review

note; my nkeyboard isawful aND IM typing with my left hand sometimres. there be typos here
8 mile
this is mu review on 8 mile
it starts with a blackguy born in a  white guys body rapping in a slummy bathroom
he pukes(I assume for bulimia)
so hes got more than just racial issues
his homie comes in and helps him from getting bounced
also eminim has a pregnant gf
this is turning into maury
u r not da father!
does victory dance
after he changes clothes, a pretty ugly guy raps
theres a lot of ugly people in this movie
ooh! theres one!
eminim isn't that good looking either
lay  off the drugs dude!
its gonna rott u!
so eminim and a guy get In a rap off
eminim goes by b rabbit
named after bugs bunny(who often cross dresses and smooches men)(n0 h0m0)
eminim takes a while to charge up his rap
thecrowd hates on him
its cuz hes not black, aint it?
he bails
so emimim returns to his slummy home and his woman is b0ning some guy whos hotter than eminim
n0 h0m0
she has the chutzpa to say eminim should've called 1st
its not his gf
its his mom
and in proper light the guy she was b0ning is kinda ugly
the guy refers to eminim and his droogs as losers
which causes eminim to go berserk
which wakes up emiims daughter
or sister
or both
I don't know
he seems like an inbreeder
his name really is rabbit
is it like in the crow how everyone goes by their street names?
like top dollar, t-bird, tin-tin, funboy, ect
so another homie of his comes in and gives him life advice
on he bus to work he writes poetry
and it seems his whole town is a slum
during the day  he  works in a metal shop or something
his superior grinds his gears over being late
this guys a loser
and the guy b0ning his mom went to school  with eminim and his droogz
like in bill and ted 1 and 2
but less fun
eminim has racial issues about his whiteness
I blame political correctness
it turned him into an abomination
Eminem cares about being on good terms with the Lord
yet he swears and b0nes and such
while driving a car with some really ugly guys, they paintball people
eminim does it to a copcar
and they hear sirens
and the ugly guys are on drugs
and the car dies
hes like Charlie brown!
but the cars are heading to another crime
theyre in Detroit!?
no wonder they live in slums
we otta nuke that place!
freekin Sodom and Gomorrah!
today its devolved ito mad max!
you'd have to pay me quite a load to get me to even go near that cesspoole!
so they fix da car and  go to some abandoned place and rap
then some thugs come in and swear creatively and threateningly
these people are ugly too
one insults eminim and he assaults him
I went to whiz and make soup(seperatly) but I don't think I missed much
so eminim meets this blonde who wants to go to new York to model
Eminem keeps checking out her legs
I figured he'd like big butts
Eminem, the blonde and the ugly guys drive around
I keep expecting someone to get gunned down
each shot looks like a good time for it
I went to get my soup and missed a bit but don't think I missed anything
eminenms ugly friend burns down a HOUSE
later, emeinds mom finds out theyre being evicted
they got 30 days 2 get da cash
after work his pregnant gf comes to him and when he rejects her, she reveals everyone thinks hes a loser for failing at rap
on the way home he sees the thugs from before and starts a fight
the guy who burned the house down pulls a gun but shoots himself when putting it down his pants
freekin idiot!
they hospitalize him
hes probably gonna be put to sleep
at home his mom complains about her secks life with enimen
at lunch the homies rap and the blonde comes over and enimem calls him queer in rap
afterward, Eminem takes her through the factory to b0ne
he just rapped about H I V and now b0nes a tramp
how ironic
afterward him and his homies talk about big dreams but realize there losers
at home he sees his gf and mom and homie and daughter/sister at home
its revealed as a kid he had buck teeth and big ears; thus rabbit
Eminem throws a sissyfit and learns theres a talent guy at the next rap
he denies living with his mom despite all evidence saying otherwise
like global warming nuts lol
after a minor montage, his moms bf finds out shes getting evicted
he tells her off and sez he cant be with her for her being a loser and Eminem goes berserk and tries to kill him
such a sane mentally healthy normal man
the homie has signed him up for the rap battle but Eminem goes mental
hes probably gonna be a menace to society and pull others into his wretched netherrealm of drugs and swearing and b0ning using mind warping music
he brings his gf to her place but she doesn't want him to come up
shes probably got a dozen guys up there
he finds his mom and shes on drugs or something and is mad at enimem for ruining her relationship with her bf
at night he goes to a building for some reason but finds a big black guy b0ning his gf
he beats up the b0ning guy and goes to some place to pick up his sister/daughter
then a car pulls up and a buncha big black guys come out
theyre gonna beat him black and blue, then beat the black offa him so hes a blue smurf
he gets beat but doesn't fight back
if he had a strong firearm he could've mowed them down
this is why we need to nuke Detroit
its full of horrid people
he goes back to his moms home and she coox him food
she got 3200$ at bingo
I assume bingo is slang for wh0ring
the blonde comes by to say bye b4 going to new York to b0ne more guys
shes gonna get the aids
she sez she wantz to see him at the rap
at the slum were they rap off, he trains with his self gunned friend and the guys who beat him up come by and mock them
Eminem raps off against the guy who beat him and moons him while questioning his gangs gender
he faces another of his beaters and the guy takes off his shirt(like in dbz)
he insults him and his crew hate on his race
so Eminem talks about his b00bs and b0ning his mom
really classy
a few more love scenes and this would be a P0RN0
in the finalround he faces the guy who he's clashed with several times over the film
he takes off his jacket like dbz and attacks him for having a good upbringing
he also boldly talks about his own loserness
the rival cant rap and Eminem wins
Eminem returns to work but his homies are thinking that theyre all successful for eminems win
Eminem walks off
aw gay!
kim basinger was enimems druggie mom
she was so good in tim burtons batman
now shes a druggie slum dweller
how low shes sunk
for 8 mile 2 I'd like Eminem to return to Detroit and its even slummier than ever. the city declares its out of food and the people must return to cannibalism. so Eminem must fight his way out of the slums and kill off all these slum dweallers to survive and the final battle is against his rival who beat him up earlier in 8 mile 1. his old rival is now mayor and is the one who called the cannibal times so he could get Eminem killed, even if it destroys his slum town (which isn't worth much anyway). it would also be a16 bit beat emup on sega genesis and player 2 would be a different colored enimem.

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