Thursday, February 4, 2016

The Birds Review

note; my laptop has a badly places keyboards so expecte typoes
the birds
this is muy review on; the birds
it starts wih some blonde in a bird store'
a handsome guy comes in looking for a "lovebird"
I assume this is slipping adult content past the production code
and in he book they were  b0ning
the guy complains about yhe birds being caged up
animasl supremisict!
imagine giving plants rights!
or fungus!
u cant step on the graSS; it has RIGTS!
SO a bird gets out and the handsome guy catches itwith its hat
also he knows the blondes name
he saw her in court where se broke a window
he also knew she didn't woek here  and wated to get lovebirfds as a prank on her
she gets  his license plate and uses it to have a guy she knows travk him with it
the next day she drops some lovebirds off at his place but finds hes out for the weekend
so she goes driving on an unsafe road to find him
and so she continues her; journey, to the west!
she asks a guy for direction but hes on the other side of the bay
and he has kids
she wants to surprise him as taking the road will reveal shes coming for him
so she takes a boat
just like in valis 3 with the boat level where only one character can go across and fight the monster in he middle of it
to get his kids name, she asks the school teacher
nowadays that wold trigger suscpicion
she boats across da water and sneaks into his home and leaves the birds
she boats out and hides when he goes in but then he sees her and he drives around the water to cach her
on the way over, a bird ataks her head
like in Seinfeld
its revealed that the guy is a lawyer
his mom comes in and they talk
shes invited to dinner
later she stays with the teacher in a  spare room
he lives with his mom?
and its Hitchcock?
that sounds like that OTHER movie
around dinner, the mom sez on the phone that the feed she bought is not good
the chickens wont eat it
in real life if a chicken dies, its body is piked clean the next day
and another chickens wont eat and its a  different brand
so its the cicken that's the problem
I think the little girl is the guys sister
afer dinner they talk about her being nude in a fountain after someone pushed her in or somehing
I wasn't really listening
I was reading the yugioh wiki
she talks with the school teacher for a while
they talk about the mom wanting to keep the guy to herself and it being the reason the teacher isn't b0ning the guy or married to him
this is turning into that OTHER hitchock movie
this movie is taking a long time for anything to happen
the next day she talks with the guy
I want a fistfight or a card game or something
winner gets to live
survivor gets to eat

turns out the womans mom ditched her as a kid
so she could go off b0ning a motel manager
oh snap!
shes probably ground up into sasusage
the birds started attacking
mostly little candya55 Kids
later theyre inside and birds swarm in through the chimeny
they need a fan or a lawn mower or a flame thrower
imagine if the birds swarmed up their butts and expanded em and they exploded!
later the sherrif came in and doesn't believe them and makes excuses for the birds
hes an animal supremacist!
thinks animals are people
they otta feed him to the geese
the worst kind
it would be rad to the maxx to just get a flame thrower and roast those buttmo's!!
or get a high powered weapon and shred them with gunfire!
those birds are abominations
the next day the mom goes to see her dad
and thr place is busted up slightly
she finds most of him shredded by birds
after she gets home and freaks out, the guy goes to check it out and the woman makres the mom some tea
americans drink POP!!
maybe coffee if theyre gay guys in a boy band or italianos
but TEA!?
that's too brittish!
hichcock you britler!
stop trying to turn america into new england
the mom and woman talk for a while

he son is like in his 30s and the girl is hardly a teen
its like napoleon dynamite where kip is 32 and napoleon is 16
where were their parents?
in jail for inbreeding I'd assume
that explains the bros and their issues
ater the woman goes to the school and birds start gathering
she tries to stop the class from going outside as the birds have dgathered
too bad they don't have a chaingun like rambo
ah poof!
one kid looks inbred!
and the birds swarm the kids!
just punch em candya55!
and one kid gets her coke bottle glasses smashed and the woman and some chick take her into a car
too bad Hitchcock doesn't know americans have guns
wait, this is san fran sisco
they aren't the most regular americans
they were crows?
its like in; the crow ciy of angels
where ashe uses the crow power to destroy judah
this chick thinks crows aren't smart enough to do something like this
nowadays we know crows are up there at or beyond the apes
and the old lady blames people
animal supremacist!
one drunk thinks its the end of the world
one guy wants to shoot em
the old lady uses bad science to explain her position
she says if birds combines, people wouldn't have a chance
sounds like they might force us either underground or under water like in voogies angel
the sherrif comes in and makes some execuses for a "reasonable" explaination for the guy getting wacked
is mentioned about seagulls getting lost in the fog and attacking a near town
1 guy is killed by birds and drops his gas pump
the gas spreads and a guy lighting a cigar gets blown up by it
now we're getting some action!!
the woman hides in a phone booth
then gets back inside the cafe
too bad this asnt by an american director
then we're have a battle where america fights back
they blame the woman for the birdemic as it happened after she came
as the woman and guy near the school, the crows are all over the place
oop, the tacher bought it
I wonder why they don't get armor or weapons?
at least some goggles
he does something offscreen to the body of the teacher
I think b0ning it
then leaves it inside
its gonna stink it up in there!
the guy, his sister and the woman walk slowly awayto the car and put the top up then drive away
the girl explains hat the birds swarmed the teacher and she pushd her inside
jus like in Robotech with lisa being pushed into an escape pod
the guy boards up the windows and they get news from the radio about the town theyre in being attack by dbirds
but they don't get much news
the mom freaks uout
the guy should've slugged her out
but didn't cuz brits like hichcock like having loud women yell at them and hey just take it
the girl pukes for some reason
shes probably got bird aids
the birds ouside make much noise and try to bust in
he gets his hand cut up by bird bites
hes gonna turn into a bird monster
after the attck, the lady hears a noise upstairs
she finds the roof was busted open and the top room is full of brids
she balcks out and the guy saves her
they're playing defensive too much!
they need to counter attack!
he desides to get her to a hospital in san fran sisco
I went to get some tums for my heartburn and had some milk and whizzed but I don't think I missed much
he gets into a truck and the rasio tells him the town is sealed off
he goes out and sees birds everywhere
he slowly drives his car through the brids and not crushing one
they take the woman to the car but she seems uneasy
the girl brings the lovebirds as they hasn't done any damage(cuz theyre in a cage! and hasn't HAD a chance to!)
they drive off
the end
for the birds 2 I'd like a post apocalyptic world where birds have taken over and force people to inbreed for their amusement. but the resistance is growing and using revived dinosaur fusions to fight off the birds(the people fuse with the dinosaurs to become biotech warriors and have energy blasts and dbz flight)

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