Friday, February 5, 2016

Valley Of The Dolls Review

note; ny keybord is a plug in and im getting used to it so theres typres
valley of the dolls
this is my review of the 1960s film valley of the dolls
ive never seen this b4s so this is a fresh look or a new viewer
ooh, its based on a book
I like that
it starts with a big notice that this isn't meant to be based on anyone in real life
I assume its like all those law and order eps that say(ripped from the headlines) in the adds but at the start of each ep is says its not real
then the film has this chick telling how happy backstory and how she wanted to have a happy marriage like her rents but 1st wanted to experience things in the world
its like someone in Europe wanting to go to amerce but wants to go slumming in the 3rd world for fun 1st
then we get a don bluth like music song
she goes to new York to get work or somwething
she goes to a job interview and some chick says her cat got preggo
I think its a cat
could be a model
or both
she sez she types 60 wurds a minit and is told shes too pretty
shes given a week of work and is sent to give contracts to some actress
everyone in this city seems malcontent and edgy and unfriendly
dan green (the voice of yugi) lived in new York and my yugioh buddy who saw him at a yugioh event said hes very nice
from what ive seen of NY in law and order its full of murder and degenerates
the main chick meets the actress and the actress is very brash and showbiz like
hope she winds up on law and order
as in at the start of the ep
as in the bod they find
she tears up the contracts and sends the main chick back
she talks to the nephew of the boss who keeled over and he gives her good advice
he seems nice so hes probably a purvurt
later this new actress is getting her one song cut so the actress from b4 don't have competition
after this old guy manipulates her, she quits and is really busted up about it
she otta shoot the place up
later the new actress gets on a telethon and sings
her song goes on for a while
later the new actress and some guys have dinner and she gets work
then another song
man, this song is depressing yet has a nice tune
about love and not being long for him
that's like the opposite message of sailor moon
on the way home the main chick- I mean new actress steals milk and leaves cash in her building
sjhe also wants to marry this guy who's been helping her
then this curvy blonde talks to her mom (whowants money) and says shes only wanted for her body
then the main chick is walking home with her boss nephew...AT NIGHT!!
hope some druggies or thugs don't beat em up and b0ne em dead
later the actress has her play
and another song
then the main chick and boss nephew go walking at night in NY again to kill time until its 4am(when the play reviews arrive)
then I think they b0ne
good thing this isn't the 80s
b0ning someone who's been with that many other people might cause aids
then we get a weird montagbe of the new actrwss doing a buncha thingz
oh, shes becoming a stage star
later the blonde is seeing this guy I don't recognize
oh its the singer from b4
the love song guy
later this read haired chick says the g guy got married
then the main chixck and boss nephew visit the chicks hometown
he wants to b0ne her but she c cuz its her childhood home
also he don't wanna get married
he goes to a hotel but is gone when she goes to see him
he leaves a note and says hes going off to England to be a writer
I assume he means he turned queer
back at work a guy is looking for a model for his products to model and wants the main chick
not really anything happens in this film
then we get a weird artsy add
I think theres timeskip cuz it says its the 2nd anniversary of the make up thing the main chick was doing
then the blonde says someone (I don't racall who) is coming to caklifornia
then the main chick gets a grammy
later the singer tells the blonde the studio dropped his thing
hes gonna have to go back to doing P0RN0
later the main chick ta to the boss nephew about his boojk then he leaves
a day or few later this guys complaining of his womans drug issues and blowing money on people like lawyers and shrinks
\then his woman comes out talking about her pills
I think its the new acrtess
hes husband thinks this guy shes spending too much time with is queer
she wants to turn him straight
later the blonde and the singer are out at night trying to avoid sometone and his body stops working
thety get a dr and find hes got some genetic issue
the red haired chick comforts the blonde and says she had a different dad than the singer
oh and the blondes preggers
later the new actress ditches her man and wants to marry the gay fashion designer
oh and the singer is put in a home
then this frenchie who likes flat girls wants the blonde to make an "art" film
I think its a P0RBN0
also the new actress puts up a big fuss on set of a film cuz of her drugs and alcohol\
then the new actress whines about the film and director
dolls is slang for pills
then she complains about the blonde doing xxx in French lands and wanting to kill her unvborn kid
she goes on complaining about not b0ning her husband in weeks and her drs saying shes screwed up
she goes home and gets down to her undies but finds her husband isn't there
so she gets drunk
then finds her man in the pool with a WOMAN
he says she almost turned him queer and they argue
he says about that girly he was in the pool with; that little wh-re makes me feel 9 feet tall
I assume he means  b0ner
this is turning x rated
howd this get made in the 60s?
the next day a man tells her she's causesd so many issues theyre replacing her in her own film
after leaves she books a flight to san fran sisko
then shes in a bar and her song comes on a jukebox
but no one recognizes her and she fights a guy
while walking out at night she sees a p0rn0e theatre playing the blondes frenchie filmes
shes going through the slummy parts of California and theres adult places all over
this is like in violence jack
she wakes up in some run down place with a guy getting dressed and he slugs her out
then she wakes up in as hospital and its revealed she OD'ed
she is then gonna be sent to the place the singer was sent
later the blonde's frenchie film is being shown and shes b0ning a frenchie
good thing it don't show any nude areas
fox wants to buy her contract and her French p0rn0 boss is mean to her and her \handicapped husband
then the new actress tells of her time in rehab
she was very malcontent and fought those trying to help her
to get the singer to reveal himself she sings the song he sang earlier and he sings it
shes then offered a part in a musical
later the blonde wants to see her husband
then its revealed shes getting her b00bs removed cuz of a medical problem
also shes not doing p0rn0 anymore
at night she flashbacks over her life and takes some pills
the next day a body is taken out of a hotel
I think it was the blonde
we never see the body
I imagine the autopsy drs b0ned it
later the actress from b4 is having another show and the new actress isn't allowed to go by her husband
she shows up anyway
the actress leaves
later she and the new actress talk and are mean to eachother
they fight and the actress's wig comes off
so the new actress throws it in the cr-pper
she ties a hankerchief on her head and goes ouit
later (with a wig) she bashes the new actress but says she felt bad for her
at night the new actress is back on red pills and is show on the beach
she goes back inside and throws the pill bottle away
then its winter and shes taking a train and returns to her youth home
wait I think it was the main chick who goes home
later the new acretss is being mad and bossy and drives  man or w/e out
then shes too screwed up to do her own show so a younger better actress understudy takes her part
so she tr\ies to kill her
after a night in a bar she walks out saying she don't need anyone cuz shes got talent
but power without perception is meaningless
she finds the stage is closed and everyones gone home
alone she calls out for help and turns to God
but just keeps saying her own name
this Is a pretty dark film
I assume she was then b0ned dead by some drug dealers at night
the main chick tells the boss nephew shes not marrying him and walks in the winter woods
the ned
for valley of the dolls 2 I'd like the main chick to be married with a family and one of her kids wants to go to new York to be an actor. she refuses but he sneaks out and runs away to there. after not making it as an actor he joins a drug gang and go around b0ning and killing people who wont pay their drug debts. after a few of these its revealed the drug gang is lead by the actress from the 1st film who has become so absorbed in drugs that anyone she b0nes becomes addicted to drugs and the drug gang makes drugs from her blood/hair/skin. also the drug use she's had for years has turned her into a hermaphrodite and she gets woman pregnant and their rapidly growing children have become her elite guard and enforcers with low level drug dealers being the ones hired for average to small jobs.

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