Friday, February 5, 2016

Sunset Boulevard Review

note; my keyboard is pretty cr-ppy and im woking on yahoo rogers. theres typoes
sunset blvd
this is my review of sunset bulivard
its got erich von Stroheim  in it
I loved his silent film greed
pure heart
I cried
it starts with the cops heading to rer
this writer was capped and floating in his pool
then he flashbacks to months ago
he's behind on his car payments
so he goes to some studio to pitch jhdea to em
but this chick sez working for the studiio guuy its cr-p
and the studio guy sez they otta make it a chick film
he doesn't get the job and tries several other places until he gets his agent
the agent sez the main guy not getting the cash for his car is for the best
I personally have no interst in driving
u got car payments, repairs, gas, insurance, and the car itself
so after the main guy ditches the cops, he finds a home with a garage that's from the 20s
the guy compares it to mis havishams run down hoarder place from great expectations
then the butler and old lady welcome him in and have him go up to see the lady
btw, the butler is erich von stroheim
she wants to have a big burial for a chimp
he recognizers her as an actress from silent films
she finds out hes a writer and wants him to write a film for him based on salome
and she wants de mille to re to direct it
I hope she don't mean the 120 days of Sodom by the marquis de sade
after reading her script thing for several hours, hes feeling sick cuz the script is cr-ppy
he wants to do stuff with her script but plays it cool to gain advantage
she has him stay in a guest room above the garage
he watches her burying the chimp from the window
like one of those crazy cat lady's who has her cats given a real burial like its a real person
the next day he finds the butler has brought the writers stuiff over
so he writes and revises the script but shes hovering over her and trying to make it her way
shes also got a lot of pictures of herself all over the place
she also has a large personal collection of her silent films, which she made him watch
this is like with howard hughes
she brings up siome good points about silent flms being better than modern ones
if only she knew how lows films could sink
they also had card games with other people
too bad it was b4 yugioh
so he needs some cash to save his car but shes too busy in a card game ad the car is repo'd
so she lets him use her car
later it starts raining(I thought California was like a wasteland or desert) and  it leaks into his room
I wenrt to whiz and make some chicken but I don't think I missed anythiong
when i get back hes dancing with the chick
she talks about buying him stuff but he goes mental over her spending cash on him
so she slaps him
she threw the 1st attack! if you return fire its justified!
wow, we're like an hour into the film almoist ad it don't feel like it
he walks out and goes to find a newyears party
and young people
he goes to see some guys and they are surpruzed by his fancy clothesshe bought him
te chick who advised against the film he tried to sell at the start of the movie sez she looked through his old qwork and found something with potential
but he's sp disgruntled from his time with the silent chick
I think she mo les ted him
he calls the house qand asks the butler to pack his stuff but the butler sez he cant cuz the chick was cutting herself
he races back and talks to her
she sez she fell in love with him
he sez shes the only one in town who was nice to him
then they b0ne
some time later the chick from the start of the movie calls about the main guy but the butler tells her not to call
then tells the movie chick its a woman asking about a dog
later hes in a store getting smokes for the movie chick but he meets the starting chick and shes got a thing lined up for his idea(with some of hers)
he turns her down and goes back to the movie chick
he sez when he got bored or w/e she gave him a "live show" from mack sennets bathing beautys
I assume shes doing something indecent in the real version
later shes doing a chaplain thing and gets a call from a studio
she later goes to see de mille and the guard never heard of her
but she uses her pull with the older guard to get in
de mille hears shes coming and speaks of her being much better decades ago
they talk and when he goes off to check on something, this stage guy shines a spotlight on her and everyone goes to her to be starstruck
de mille finds the guy calling her only wanted to use her car in a film
he returns and drives the people around her off
he tries to let her down easy but she doesn't get it
also the start chivk talks with the main guy about her needing his help to finish the script
he gives her an idea and leaves
the butler tells the main guy they only wanted her car and de mille sez to a guy to get some other car
then the movie chick has much cosmetic experts and scientists mess with her face to make her look young
so then the main guy starts going out at night to see the starting chick  to work on the movie
she notices his gold smoke case and asks who norma is(the movie lady)
also the start ckick and him take walks in the movie sets after hours
she reveals she got a nose job to get into pictures but is now doing behind the camera work
the butler is spying on the main character and reveal hes the one who made the movie chick a star but he was a big director who was up with griffith and de mille but couldn't leave her and became her slave as
wait for it
wait for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
he was her 1st husband
hes also gonna keep up the charade of her having a chance with de mille forever
kinda like in spider man the animated series with mysterio keeping that chick alive by saying one day shes gonna be human again or w/e
oh and the movie chick finds the script the main guy was doing
and the start chick has fallen in love with the main guy
but shes set to marry that guy from like only 2-3 scenes in the movie
the movie chick has been calling the starting chick to turn her against him
but the main guy catches her and she goes mental
its probably menopaz
the start girl comes over and he shows her the house and how the movie woman needs him
btw, I wonder what the butler thinks of the main character b0ning his past wife
she tries to ignore the evidence that hes living with her
but he keeps pointing out hes b0ning her for stuff (without talking abouyt the b0ning)
he suggests she marrys the guy who loves her and she runs out
thren he goes back upstairs and starts packing
just like in gone with the wind he tells her hes leave her
he tells her the truth that theres no demille picture coming and the butler wrirtes her fan letters
the butler has a really touching look in his face and the chick goes mental
she shoots him in the back and he falls in the pool
then were back where the film started
then the media is interviewing her and shes snapped and in her own world
she goes doen to talk to the cameras and the butler directs her
also I just realized that von Stroheim looks like Anatole leonard from robotech
she sez shes gonna keep on making pictures
then creepily moves to the camera
the end
h b warner and buster Keaton were in this
for sunset blvd 2 I'd like for the main guy from s b 1 to have been revealed to have survived and doesn't remember who capped him. also the trial for the actress is going on during his recovery and he's struggling to recall but cant connect. but he knows that it has to do with her and the butler. also, the butler has gotten back into making films but has gotten into really screwed up shock films. eventually the main guy takes a bite out the chick and regains his memory and also hers. realizing how she needs him, they fuse into a hermaphrodite so they wont be apart. then the new hermaphrodite does shock films for the butler.

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