Friday, February 5, 2016

Dr Zhivago Review

note; im not used to this keyboard and am on 31 hours w/o sleep so expect some typoes
Dr. Zhivago
this is my review on dr zhivago
I normally like 1800s/1900s movies, and movies with out cgi
its widescreen
its based on a book
I like films based on books
its in color too
not that cr-ppy washed out color we have in the 2010s
bright vivid colors that actually look alive
this is starting out well
and its just the opening credits
the film starts in soviet Russia with all these wo men coming into some place for work
the guy from the 70s star wars says when those gurlz were kids they had to use cannibalism
then that his half brothers daughter is coming
as this is a socialist land where everyone is "equal", I assume she will be given preferential treatment as she has connections
this chick comes inand says she got lost and wound up in Mongolia
after starwars talks to her about her rents, she says that dr zhivago wasn't her dad
starwars keeps asking more questions and we get a Russian funeral flashback
I recall seeing this part of the movie on new years eve in the 90s after mid knight
afterward, the kid (yuri) finds now hes gonna be living with his moms friend
I shouldpoint out how all these eastern Europeans are played by Englishmen and irishmen
and omar sharif is egyptian
I mean yeah they're all white but completely different kinds
its like having a poodle playing a sheepdog cuz theyre both dogs
also omar sharif played Genghis khan yet no one bashed it like when john wayne did despite both being equally Mongolian(0%)
decades later, yuri is now dr zhivago
in public a commie is spreading propaganda and the cops nearly bust him
but this chick claims to be his sister and gets him off easy
then we find they are actually bf/gf
this guy seems like one of those "idealistic commies" who thinks socialism can be used for good and work in real life
as opposed to the "realistic commies" who know communism don't work and just use it to gain power over the naïve
still, hes setting Russia on the road to ruin
later the sister is at work or school or w/e and her teacher/boss warns her not to go to the commie thing
he finds out shes 17(but don't look it as brits don't age well and Russians age slow) and gives her a hankerchief to wear on her head
later shes given a "long gown"
nowadays girls wear less as they get older
then its nighrt and theres a commie event where the commies promise grand things that we know now were never gonna happen
yuri andsome woman I don't really recognize think it sounds nice
then this blonde dances with the boss/teacvher at a fench restaurant
but French food is no wjhere near as good as Slavic food
its like people living in a mcdonalds visit a burger king
I otta try borsht
polish sasusage is pretty good
and polish pickles
and mashed potatoes
and I liked eating the insides of cabbage rolls in the 90s(and we called em "garbage rolls)
I think the blonde woman is the sister/gf
then the commie propaganda parade come through town at night playing loud music like those black guys driving with their radios at full blast
or those motorcycle buttholes who roar around their noisy bikes
we otta be able to arrest or maybe execute those butt popes
back in Russia they did
the cops just came in and iced the commies
and 2x as good cuz they were both loud and commies
yuri tries to help one but the cops have him go back inside
the nezxt day yuris step sister comes over and has a newspaper that mentions Russian poets
but its in french
wernt the French the bad guys back then?
after the glory days of napolean
I rewatched his 4 hour silent film last night
he was cool
and he wasn't really a frenchie
hes from corcia or some weird europeany tommy wiseau place that I don't think exists anymore
later the commie comes home and hes got a bad a55 scar on his face from the cops
he shouldn't have resisted arrest
he also gives the sister/gf a gun and seems kinda malcontent over getting arrested
later the sister/gf talks to a priest bout b0ning some guy
then shes in a red dress (that must have seemed scandalous in the 1800s but isn't today with all these rap videos of bikini girls and really ugly guys talking about b0ning them) and the boss/teacher trys to interrogate her
she leaves and he sez she'll be back
shes probably addicted to his drugs
then a guy sends another guy on a horse to give a note to someone or something
the note gets to yuris home and his dad or boss or w/e brings him to check on this unseen wo man who I think chugged antifreeze
they do something off screen to save her and shes seen nude and soaked later
I think they gave her an enema
later the blonde is dressed and is glad to see the boss/teacher after she wakes up
on the ride home yuri and his boss/dad say the boss/teacher was in charge of yuris birth dads will and I think he gyped yuri
the next day the blonde and the commie(who looks like the dead beatle wirth those glasses_) wanna go off amd get married
hes 26 and shes 17
nowadays he'd be called a mo lester for that
also hes given his soul to the commies and even his gf dont matter to him as much as it
the boss/teacher warns her of not marrying him and tells her if people types
then he b0nes her
later she tracks him down to kill him
on the way there the commie bf talks to her but she said she sent him a letter and it'll explaine everythinge
she caps him at a Christmas party where yuri and his gf are gonna announce marriage
the boss/teacher is shot in the man parts and tells the people to "get her out" and "don't call da cops"
after yuri fixes the boss/teacher up, he tells yuri of his bro and how his dad loved his mom and the boss/teacher was his dads friend
also boss/teacvher offers the blonde to yuri and says he doesn't like the commies
on the ride home yuris gf asks about the blonde then says "don't tell me if ur not supposed to say"
then its daytime and the commies raise hate for the "upper classes" and how they were who the brits fought in ww1
oh its starwars saying this as a flashback/momologue
he tryed to ruin ruissia so the commies could take over
he talks about malcontent ex soldiers dissatisfied with the way the war went being the ones who turned commie
sounds just like with the Nazi party in the 20s/30s
soldiers heading to the war are accosted by malcontents and when 1 soldier gives a patriotic speech he's shot
one soldier is bead dead with sticks
probably busted his head open like in toxic avenger
this movie portrays that as good
also, yuri is helping the busted on the frozen wastelands
and the blonde is helping him
im pretty sure her commie bf got blown apart a few scenes earlier
after they talk, they later hear the czar is arrested and the commies are taking over
this is shown as good news'
later yuri and the blonde are falling in love
its like in degrassi when emma married spinner
then the blonde goes off to work somewhere else and yuri returns to his gf
he finds the commies have taken over and are renaming things amd are less human
he takes it in good spirits
he meets his son sasha and his on slaps him
I assume the commies mo lested him and he now fears smiles
later this older commie calls yuri to treat people but they aren't sick, theyre starving
in socialism theres an equal share of misery
unlike capitalism where theres an uneven share of blessings
starwars narrates how he was a cop who killed good people and has dark views on human bonds
then the commies invade yuri's home and enforce maximum standards to steal his property
starwars gets him off without consequence and talks with him
yuri is idealistic and likes communism and starwars feels sorry for his naïve uninformed views
he then reveals the commies don't like yuris poems
I notice starwars never says anything onscreen in his own flashbacks
starwars helps yuri get outta there and soon he and his fam are fighting in a sea of human beings fleeing socialism but only 50 are saved
then the commies give them a rundown of what to expect
one brave guy comments on how the socialists lie and twist things
hes sentenced to hard labor
I assume they also b0ne him in the gulag
he is handcuffed and says hes the only free man and the rest are cattle
I assume he means his mind is free as opposed to those enslaved by propaganda
on he way to their destination they see burned out farms and corpses
some survivors try to get on board but most don't survive
the survivor reveals the socialists killed them and ruined their homes
yuri speaks well of the socialist who did it
their train stops for some reason and later another train goes by
the commie bf is the guy who killed all those people
I thought he blew up
guess he got better
later their moving again and are in the woods
yuri goes for a walk and is cauight by commies
the commie bf is suspicious of him being a spy
he reveals he hasn't seen his gf since the war and is attacking the area shes in
the village he burned down was for suspected treachery
but it was the wrong village
but he don't care
he thinks he did well
he seems to have been corrupted by socialism to the point of nt really being a real human
like in that European p0rn0; a Serbian film
the train goes somewhere else and yuris fam goes to the stepdads house
but its been taken over by commies and him doing anything to it would result in execution
oh how wonderful socialism is
they then live in the cottage
later they find the czar and his family were murdered by socialists
even his young children
this is just like with the French revolution
the malcontents rise up and kill all who they deem "unfit"
ar or so later yuri goes to the place the blonde is and shes workin at a library
he reveals her husband has become a heartless demon as they catch off in a montage
they then b0ne
the next spring yuri is still with his wife
I notice this cottage and plants around it remind me of my grampas farm
seems like hes got the blonde as a 2nd family and has a daughter with her
shes a commie who believes all the socialist propaganda of hating "enemys of the people"
also  really brittish and seems evil
also his wife is preggo and seeing her fat and swollen causes him to break up with the blonde
he may have a pregnancy fetish
on the way back hes captured by commies and taken to some battlefiield
hen its winter and the commies run across the frozen lake screaming as the other side shreds them with gunfire
in the spring they shoot boys from a military school
later its winter and he ditches the soviets
hns to his blondes town and finds its changed
also his town is abandoned
after he has a seizure the blonde saves him and heals him
later he finds his fam left soviet Russia and has a daughter
later a commie comes in and says the commies are gonna get yuri unless yuri trusts this guy
yuri throws him out
yuri and the blonde live happy but leave cuz they fear the commies
they go to yuris dads place but its all frozen in/out
later yuri starts writing and wolves start coming around outside
yuri and the blonde talk about wanting to have gotten married and had kids before instead of like this
then the commie returns (oh its the teacher/boss) and he says the commie bf ate his gun and now men are coming for yuri's new fam
he trusts him but lets them go without him cuz theres not room enough for him
they leave and she reveals shes preggo with his kid
star wars reveals she went to Mongolia and yuri got work thanks to starwars
then he saw the blonde and died
the blonde was b0ned dead in a labor camp
and the girl got lost ina war zone and wandered until she came here
uncle starwars gives her or something and finds she plays this instrument yuri got when he was like 8
the end
For Dr. Zhivago 2 I'd like his 1st family to have become rich capitalists and they use their vast wealth to save people from the soviets. one person they save from almost being b0ned by a pack of 6'9 290lb soviets is the girl who is really their half sister. they have a mind bond by touch and instantly share memories and see they had the same dad. they use their mind link to work 2x as well as usual and create a machine that can bring back people. so they bring back napoleon and Genghis khan to beat the soviets and free Russia. napoleon is also in a superhuman new body and is like hulk Hogan buff and Genghis khan has hyper developed legs to jump and run and kick at hyper ability and they bust apart every commie in there and go all over the soviet union until its purged of commies and the oppressed people can live free and happy.

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