Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Mighty Joe Young Review

note; im doing like 3 other things while reviewing this so there might be tyypoes
mighty joe young
this is my review on mighty goe joung
jogn ford
hes cool
too bad hes a commie
so its set in afruica
this girl gets a pet ape by trading her fathers stuff
little brat
he otta whip her
she names it joe
her dad comes home and seeing it in bed
he nearly capps it
maybe he shouldve
he finds out she traded his flashlight
he don't want her to have it and should've cooked it and fed it to her
but instead he lets her keep it and sez its gonna be a huge monster in the future
a dozen yearls later this j johan jameson looking guy called max o hara is a newspaper guy and wants a good story
I thuink hes an animal act guy
hes going to Africa and a cowboy comes too
in Africa is gonna do a nightclub show and makes up storys about cannibals and such
this brittish guy heasrs an animal noise and gets his gun
its a big a55 Claymation gorilla
and it knocks over a lion cage
it rips it open and the lion gets out but thwe ape goes after it
on one doc about a chimp they thought could use sign language, it kept trying to b0ne cats
the cowboy stops the brit from using a gun and gets his lasso
an american stops a brit from using a gun?
that's like a spider eating a bird
like in the jugnle
the cowboys rope at the ape but he fights em off
realy good editing btw
1 guy beats on the ape with a stick
if this were made nowadays the humans would be seen ss the bad guys attacking an "innocent" animal
the ape is gonna throw a guy 30 feet but the girl from b4 comes in all growed up and solves the thing
the cowboy and friends go to the girls farm in the jungle and she goes mental over her ape nearly getting shot after b0ning and nearly killing a lot
on one show about chimps was this couple who raised a chimp instead of a human child
one day(after years of knowing em) it went mental and tore apart the "father"
he pushed his wife under a table but the ape mutilated him and he's crippled for life
the girl lets em in but not their guns
the j Jonah jameson guy offers her a contract to be in a show with joe the ape]
the ape goes mental but she calms  it down
later they make it to California and are in a show in a jungle themed nightclub
man this movie has a good speed
it feels like under 20 mins but really nearly 40 in
the Roxbury?????????
also no one knows who the mysterious "joe young" is
reminds me of gabbo from thwe simpsons
also a lot of this movie is like king kong
sorta like go nagai making shuten doji similar to Devilman but with different feels and Protoculture
joe comes in by lifting up the piano the girl is playing
also I notice joe has no parts
I think he was neutered
don't want him getting everyone pregnant with ape babies
then 10 musclemen in tarzan outits come in and break things with their muscle
no poles though
we poles are good bodybuilders
1 is rssian and called Rasputin
they get in a tug of war with joe but he pulls em in the mud
good effects btw
1 guy gwets in a fistfight with the ape
then gets chucked into the audience
after the show they lock the ape in a cage
don't want it eating people
after a timeskip/montage, the ape wants to break out and wont eat
hunger strike eh
time for some rectal feedng!
she want out and the cowboy sez the contract aint good cuz shes underage
is he b0ning her too?
after another timeskip theres another show
theres a lottery game for free champiagenn with the ape
sounds like Mario party
1 guy nails it with a liquer bottle
and a drunk guy (maybe the same guy) hassles a cigarette girl
the drunks then take some booze and give it to the ape
once I saw this internet vid where these African soldiers gave a chimp a gun and it opened fire
after 2 bottles the ape is hammered
but andre the giant could handle a whole jug of wine and a buncha beers w/o getting tipsy
and he's far less meat than this 10-15 foot ape
the ape breaks out and goes on a rampage
if it can break out when drunk that means the cage couldn't hold it in the 1st place
it tears apart the nightclub and swings from a thing on the celing
im, surprised this room can support his tonnage
also he breaks open the lion area and kills a few
but some get out
the drunk guy gets mutlated by a lion bujt the ape kills it
he busts up the place and it caves in
the cops come in but the girl trys to help the ape
the cowboy and friends slow the cops as the girl gets joe back to is cage
then the cops cap the lions
then theres a timeskip that sez the apes gonna get put to sleep
they keep worrying about the cops shooting joe
but in Hawaii this elephant went berserk and took nearly 100 bullets to bring down
that gave me an idea
imagine if an elephant went berzerk and they blew it up with a rocket launcher! it probably wouldnt even blow it all up! maybe just bust a huge hole in it! maybe they could jamm a grenade up its A55 and it blows it apart! maybe it crawling around A55LE55! and trying to A55 B0NE the guy who blew it up with its trunk!
the j johan jameson guy fakes a heart thing and keeps the guard and cops away long enough for the girl and cowboy to get the ape away
they carry the ape in a moving van
after a chase they come to a burning building
using red tint to the film(which is b/w) it gives it a firey look
the ape  save the people from the building as it comes apart
it also shi\elds a kid with its body as the building falling on em
one guy sez no ones gonna shoot the ape now
so doing a good deed absolves him of his crimes
later the j Jonah Jamison is watching a film reel of the cowboy and woman and ape being happy in africa
the end
for mighty joe young 2 I'd like it if there was a hunter thing going after the ape as a buncha huners were sent after the ape by a rich guy. turns out it was the drunk guy  was crippled by the attack he had with the lions let loose by the ape and wants revenge. after the ape has killed and eaten all the hunters, the drunk guy arrives with a mechanically enhanced body that equips with a car and becomes a powerful exosuit strong enough to take on the ape in 1 final deathmatch. also its a 16 bit sega genesis and snes game where u play as either the ape fighting the hunters or the drunk fighting commies to get the gov to give him funding to fund his mech armor project.

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