Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Robotech The Shadow Chronicles Review

 Note: My spelling will be historically accurate in a few years

Robotech The Shadow  Chronicles

This is my review on Robotech The Shadow Chronicles from the istant fture year of 2006

I saw this a few times and even though the fans hsated it, i thought it wasnt too bad

I got into Robotech around college when this movie came out as the Space Channel in Soviet Canada aired all the original eps of Robotech over a few weeks b4 this was aired

I saw on the TV listings channel Robotech was on and remembered playing my neighbors Game|Cube Robotech Battlecry years ago and thought I'd check it out

So if it weren't for that Gamecube Game, I might not have gotten into it

I thought the series was good sci fi, not just a cool 80s show like thundercats or transformers, but up with star trek and star wars if it were good

so unlike dragon ball evolution and jem and the holograms, this is canon to the 80s series, kinda like the transformers 80s movie

it stars the guys who were in digimon and mon colle knights and was animated by a bunch of koreans

is this Anime? I mean its made for america so maybe not

so after orchestral music and a trip through a ccg solar system, we get text saying its 2044 and the earth was taken over by aliens and now a new generation of space born humans returns to reclaim their peoples home

2 humanz, 1 played by sasuke from naruto, are on a recon mission andnearly get caught by the enemy

btw the humans are done in 2d art and the mechs are 90s cg

but its not a55 like transformers energon (that show freakin s-cked!!)

sasuke thinks about how alien tech came to earth and caused several wars with various aliens and now earth is taken over

thats the thing about robotech; its not, lion-o beats skeleton who runs away screaming COBRA RETREAT!!

the good guys lose just as much as, if not motre than, they win

but there's not really a bad" guy, but more like several sides fighting for what they think is right with good and bad elements and choices made on both sides

but you can still kinda see their pov

like how even though anatole leonard was a harda55 whotried to win with full force attacks, you gotta rememver, he saw his planet gang nuked by the enemy

so after fighting for years and becoming the supreme commander, you can understand how he'd not wanna try diplomacy when it seemingly failed the last time

so sasuke goes on about how his sister marlene got iced trying to free earth from the invid oppression and wanted to get married to her bf scotty after saving da urth

so sasuke and hs homie return to their moon base andhave soe cola as drinking in miitary bases leads to no good

also we see maia sterling, playd by angewomon, in tight opants and a tank top and she's 1st shown with a buttshot

theres a lot of those in here, its like dbgt or something

so after the general breifs the fores on their mission, they reveal that if they cant beat off the invid, they'll have to use the neutron s milliles and destroy da earth

on a surface this seems extreme, ut remember, they just spent like 20 years fighting the invid across a bunch of solar systems andknow how dangero they can be

ironic, as humans were nrearly wiped out in 1 war, and now might do the same to the enemy on their past planet

so vince grant, played by metaletemon wants to go on a mission to find the SDF 3 and right them, it calls em with the hero of season 1, rick hunter, played by lupin III on te screen

cuz of legal reasons, they cant use any season 1 characters like minmei or lisa hayes as minmei is the same name in japan and lisa hayes is too close to misa hayase(although can't they call her llisa hunter as she married rick?)

but rick hunter sounds nothing like hikaru ichijo and this is like 30 years after his last season appearence so he looks different

at least they didnt change his name and turn him nlack like j d salinger in field of dreams

so rick sez they're testing the new stuff and  to not delay the nission to beat the invid but something f's out and the transmission cuts off

vince grant, dad of bowie from season 2 and brother of claudia from season 1, is sent on a secret rescue mission to ricks last coordinates and works with louie nichols from season 2 on the starship Icarus

didn't icarus die when he got too cocky and fell a mile to splat??

great thing to name your ship after!

then agan they named boats after J FK so...

meanwjile, later, sasuke badly flirts with maia and everyone laughs at him

so the commander of wolf squadron is played by mark hammil, best known as the joker in batman, and luke skinlicker from that 70s movie, flesh gordon 

the humans havve theeir fighters equipped with cloaking devices that prevents the enemy from tracking the, but they can just use their optics and fight old school

so the battle happens and maiia saves sasuke but the humans aint doing so hot

btw, to get a pg rating, the added a small bit of swering, mostly H-ll and D---, and 1 a55

meanwjile, ssasuke's sisters bf scottty is on earth and his new gf is a humanoid invid princess

so she chats with scotty and sez she needs to tell the invid queen, the regess, to stop the war, and goes to the main invid hive to tell her queen creator to stop it

btw, in season 1; an earth human and  alien chick fell in love

in season 2, an earth human and alien chik fell in love

but in season 3, an earth alien and spwce born human fell in love

they flipped it!!

oh and this wholee; trying to eason with the regess, was different in the 80s show and they remade the last ep or 2 and that had more characters

so they talk about how the invid taking over earth was like their ancient foe driving the from their 1st homeworld and the humans are using the past fes tech so they cann;t team up

so after like a in of talking, the regess chooses to take all the earts  protoculture, that the humans use as a power source for their tech, and ditch earth

meabwhile, grant''s ship arrives at the secrtor where rick was and its got a black hole

thry escape using some sci fi technobabble and their cloaking thing is f'd

they find the sdf 3 and a science ship and rick calls em saying the neitraon s missile test caused the black hole and f'd out their ships

rick tells em to tell the fleet not to use te missiles and  suddenly, the icarus gets attacked by a new enemy force thats undetecrable but can be seen with visuals

coommunications are jammed (jJaAm )and vince wants to get the SDF 3 and science ship close and space fold to earth with em to arn the fleet

back at the eatrth battle,mark hammil gets it and pukes blood b4 blowing apart (gotta get that pg rating) and the humans are getting f;d

so general orders the neutron s milliles to nuke da earth

btw, why didnt the sentinels help em?

the humans spend decades freeing their homeworlds from the invid but they wont help the humans?

so the regess recognizes the neutron s missiles as a weapon she saw b4 and offers to bring ariel (the invid chick, not da mermaid) with the rest of the invid, but she wants to stay with the humans

regess turns into a big phoenix thing and telephazes  the invid  on earth to anotherr world to evolve into higher lifeforms, and takes out the neutron s missiles

btw there are these creepy guys who keep showing up in the shadows and want to wipe out all who use protocultture as directed by this supercomputer the awareness

now i did read the robotech ii the sentinels comiics and, while not fully canon for now, painted a different picture of the awareness than this

unless it changed from being f'd by janice

meanehile, grant has equipped the science vessile and is nearing the sdf3 but when its about to spacce fold, an enemy ship kaikazes the sdf 3 and knocks it outta range

not wanting to wait a few more seconds, vince books it

meanwhile, lster, its night and scotty reunites with ariel, but wants to leave her so he can convince the human forces not to ice invid anymore

also he's worried as his crew and 1st gf bit it and he dont want her to aswell

so the humans regroup and they only have less than a year of protoculture left

and without the protoculture matrix on the sdv3, they cant make more

then why did you send the ship wit it to test the new superweapon?!

i mean yeah, they were told it was safe, but why risk it?!

so sasuke(whos name is marcus like 50 cent in get rich or die trying) is bummed commander luke got it and wishes they could wipe out all aliens

but didnt he grow up in an interstellar war with like a half dozen races of space monster?

maybe thats why he hates em, he got sick of em!

maia comes by saying she's half alien and if they wiped ouyt all aliens, sasuke would have been killed by the invid

OBJECTION!!  with no aliens, no invid either and he'd not be in danger!!

also wolf squad and skull squad get merged cuz of all the guys getting it and they work for her now

also sasuke's homie is gay for her and seems to have some SM interests in her

suddenly, the icarus and the new foes arrive and vinnie gets leg damage from the ship being hit somehow

so scotty shows up andtakes em out old school and communications are restored

vin diesel tells em not to use the missiles but learns they were stopped

they go to the moon base and vinces wife, who's a dr, treats his broken leg and they put off the rescue mission for the sdf 3 as they figure, if it got its space fold stuff back, it would've foded out by now

why not send another ship?!

so sasuke recognizes scotty and is glad to see him as he heard scottys divisoin got wiped out

scotty tells him sasukes sister bit it and they go to get changed as scotty was wearing that same outfit sine he left for earth years ago (it must really stink!!)

meanwhile, louie and maia check the science ship and there's no survivors (exedore no!!!) and louie finds JANICE M, a female robot with a hoologram projector to fake being a curvy chick

meanwhile, ariel on earth has a vision of the ancient for, the shadow childrencoming to destroy the humans, so she teleports to space(cuz she can totally do that)

meanwhile, luouie is developing a crush on the robot chick like its cutey honey andf she reveals it was the haydonites who gave the huamns the tech to make the neutron s missiles and her

also the haydonites told the humans to keep the word of their help secret

then maia  came in thinking they were gonna b0ne or somthing and they go to get some chow

people say the chicks in this movie have huge t-ts, but after eiken, jungle de ikou and nami sos, they dont seem that huge to me

in the mess hall scott tries an alien drink and it tastes like cr-p

he tells sasuke and homie that he fought with a group on earth and then he meets louie from season 2

just like in the sentenels where anatole leonard  met rick and lisa

sasuke reveals he has a holooendent and each tim he wacks an invid, he carves a notch in it (total 29 now)

then ariel comes in wearing a univfrom and has viet nam flashbacks at what sasuke just said abotu wasting 29 invid

then janice sings a minmei song and all the guys look at her cuz they are hetero and maia is disgruntled at guys finding someone hot

what is she? a feminist?

so meanwhile, ariel shows scotty a vision of the 1st invid planet in ruins from the shadow kids and if humans rust em, its da earths future

also the shadow kids fear protocuulture and wiipe out any users of it

whats going on with the sentinels planets now?

are they attacking them now?

so vince is bummed he couldnt save rick and his wife fixed his broken leg

also skull squadron is reassigned witn vinces group aand they know about janice, who dsapite being a part of the sentinels campaign from the start, they dont recognize her as they saw get get it to stop edwards and she never told em this is her neew body, despite having the same name

so sasuke walks in on scotty with glowingariel and knows shes invid somehow

as far as i know, the invid didnt have these powers until after evolving on earth and sasuke was never on earth, nor knew of this

so sasuke fights scoty and thinkd scortys a traiter and might've sold his crew out to the invid

to be fair, jonathan wolfe did  so it might be  a callbackk

instead of killing him, sasuke  outs scotty togeneral and scotty tells his story and it looks kinda cool

btw, scotty is played by greg snegof who was in wicked city, rei and wiggle in hokuto no ken the movie, andlike 9 other guys in robotech

vince believes scotty but genral dont and thinks the haydonties ae his ally

then one of their bases loses contact and louie recognizes the jamming as the kind rom b4

btw, losing contact with a space base was how season 2 started

vince sees scotty and ariel just pops in as she can phaze through things now and after she sez she has visions, he believes her and they teleport to the ship

so the humans remaining forces atack the new enemy who blows through their forces easy

the humans fire their synchro cannons but the enemy uses a disruptor wave to screw up their synchro cannons and cloaong devices and the human ships blow

then vinces shipp arrives and 89% of the human forces are iced and vinny plays it cautious and dont go in

louie found a way to ngate the jjamming and they send in skull squadron to check out the foe

louis figgerz out how the cloakng device is f ing them and vince has em turn of ftheir shadow device and go to pull into the space base

homie goes to hold off the enemy fightersbut when he tries his synchro cannon, his fighter f's out andhe kamikaze's intto the fighters instead of ejecting and blows it to dust

now they know not to use em and vince realizes anything the haydonites gave em is a trap (like the commies and their phone tech) andd has jannice arrested for being part haydonite

good way of showing how even the good guy characters can make choices that seem bad

also; is this a thing on german and japanese canadians being rounded up into camps in ww2?

also her being the  only survivor from the science ship makes him ssuspect (even though shes a robot and not alive so since the ship tanked the missile test, she should've too)

the haydonites in cloaks are after the protoculture matrix and detect janiice in the space station and send dudes

at the station, vince orders they go to a ship without the cloaking device and they find a colony sjip without armorments

also maia fins some super shadow fighter prototypes that dont got cloaking deviices installed andthey use em to hold ooff the dudes to buy time for louis to turn on the colony ship

areil warps the crew to the new ship andd scotty and vinny go to use a neuton s missile to nuke the space sttation to take out the hayydonites attacking

yeah cuz wasting a massive space base to stop a buncha ships is a god move

its not lie they have more of em or anything

aas janice is being tanek to the brig, haydonite mechs attack looking like dreamcast cgi and take out the guards

a haydonite comes oyt and sez she was only told wat was needed to get the humans to do the haydonite plans and they want her to tell them where the protoculture matrix is

galvatroon; magnus! i want the matrix!!

she dont consent and is gonna get iced but scotty and vinny save her and take em out

vince reconsiles with janice as if the haydonites want her j fk'd she mus be good

yeah bit they wanted the invid gone too

so skull squad takes on the dudes and vinny authorizzs the mussiles to go

on his access screen he's said to be 36, enen though he was in the service in the 00s, had a son in 2013 and this is set in the not so distant future yar of 2044

although in some canons  theirr expedition in the 2020s caused a time warp that made they skip 5 years there and 5 years back

they get to da ship and take off in a ship called the Ark Angel (which is a popular name i robotech) but the baddz are after em and skull squad takes em on

maia gets hit and ejects ND sasuke gets her, but he gets hit and throws her  as he chooses to fight annd die

ariel sennses sasuke and phazes outto save him as the missles blow and the haydonites and ark angel space fold

how do the hsydonites fold wthout protoculture?!

i mean tthey hate it so them using it would be ironic

are their ships powered by peat moss?!

so marcus is in h e double heaven and sees his sister whho sez its not his time (so there's an Afterlife in Robotech? I mean they mention God several times, even in the 80s show, so maybe) and he wakes up on the ark anhel as areil saved him

hs surprized she saved him even hough he hates das invido and she sez hate  only makes more hate (so the punch a nazi guys are wrong?)

they return to earth space and general sez based on the info thrry got from janice, the sdf 3 and protoculture matri are probably not destroyed and the humans need em to save the universe

general sends vince to look for the sdf 3 like its robotech 3 the oddysey and maia comforts sasuke for all his homies and fam getting it

she sez most of her fam was on the sdf 3 (even dana?? is this how the titan comics got it from?)

scotty smooches ariel with connsent and louis says to comfort janice they will win, and she sings the minme song as da cridits roll as we ecape the silar  system and galaxy (eyes photon dragon)

the end

that wasnt so bad

pretty decent 00s movie

clean enough for kids but cool and srs enough for adults, with a bit of humor

yeah its got some continuity errors and some stuff could be better, but i thought it was decent

yea its not as well animated as the 80s robotech movie thats outta print and the ultra epic animayion macross do you remember love

but for a 00s anime style movie and considering the budget they had, its pretty good

would''ve been nice to have more charaters fromthe 1st few seasons but they  had em in the comic prelude to the shadow chronicles

the music is pretty good and its got a bit o aa gamecube feel to the art and animation

i liked it and it would be nice if we got more of these anime style robotech movies

for robotech the shadow chronicles 2 i want them to go to the planets with the  sentinels and find the haydonites have attacked thhem and wiped most of them out. they band together and launch a united strike force against the haydon wolrd but it dons;t work. out of options, they find the invid on another world and make a pact with them to stop the haydonites and use hybrid human/invid tech to fight the haydonites. also several menbers of the sentinels races have dcided to turn invid and devolvved themselves in the genesis pits to gain new abilities and they use the remaining inorganics to lead a streike force of hybrid inorganic veritechs and inorganic destroids and take on the cyber world of haydon. also its a 128 bit gamecube, xbox, ps2 and dreamcast game where you play as a new recruit and choose your race and mech and do misions based on what you chose

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Scarlet Street Review

 Note I synchro Summon Scar Red Nova Dragon in Attak Mode! Its effect lets me spel bad!

Scarlet Street

This is my review on scarlet strert from the distant future year of 1945 (the year Go Nagai was born)

its got edward g robinson, joan bennet from disreali, and no one else i know of

its directed by that famous austrian silent guy fritz lang who did Dr Mabuse, Die Nibelungen and Metropolis

i never saw this b4 but if Fritz Lang did it, Im interested

it was actually banned by soviet new york (aka new sodom) as t=it was too much for their candy a55es to handle

They went on to be the home of Anime 18 which dubbed La blue Girl, a tentacle p0rn0

ooh, its got that 20s uniiversal logo

walter rwanger? is this a p0rn0 too?

hh, this is a remake of a movie based on a frenchie book

i mean soviet frenchie

so after credits on a panning image, its a gentlemen party where the had of this thing gives edward a watch

edward is named christopher cross like the singer from the 80s  and is a gret employee and hard worker

oh snap, its set in soviet new york!

so cross gets a special 1 dollar a piece cigar and the head boss leaves in a car with some 40s babe

but this seems clean and wholesome and cross's demeanor is really nice and pure

so cross and his homie charlie go out in da rain under 1 mbrella and cross is bummed he dont get chicks and wanted to be an artist as a kid

chuk takes da bus and cross finds a chick with a guy on da ground

cross goes for help and wait, i missed a bit and its  revealed corss shoved down the guy for hasslibng the chick

after sending the cop after the guy who was after the chick, cross walks chick home and they go for coffee(spoiler; pop is better!)

at the bar she gets him to have rum and she reveals her name is kitty like kitty media, the p0rn0 company that does anime

he's ggay for her as he thinks she''s hot and she sez she likes him being mature

whats a male cougar?

its implied shes a h00ker and he sez h paints and she thinks hes a pro painter

remember crayola scoot? the sports game by crayola? i hear its actually good. like tony hawk with color

he goes with her thoughts instead of telling the truth and contridicting her and she thinks he's loaded

he walx her hme and when he asks who johnny is, she gets on eddge like a spider you just blew on but sez its a friends bf or w.e

she asked where johnny was at the bar

greg sestero; johnnys my best friend

later cross stayed up painting and chuck comes by

its revealed cross is married and his woman's previous husband was a op who bit it saving a chick in da river

bte, walter anger also produced; the shiek, queen chrisrina, the bitter tea of general yen, algiers, stagecoach, tulsa and the 1963 cleopatra, oh and invasion of the body snatchers

so kitty is living with johnny who was the guy cross fought off as i think the mugging was a scam

and he wants kitty to take advantage of cross and his love

thats like something the sailor scouts or wedding peach chicks would waste a guy for

also kitty has a female room mate whos into modekling

sailor venus in that eop she dated tigers eye and hawks eye; maybe even nude modeling!!!

later hes having a soft moment with kitty about how paintuing is like love

she sez she needs cash and he eventuslly reveakls he's married but don't like his b--chy wife

she sez she needs 500 bones and he tries to get an advvance but needs a cosigner

later his woman is b--ching at him for not buying her a radio and b--ches at him about wantng to throw out his paintings

he rreads of a guy who icced his woman and the nypd cauught him

in ammerica thats a crime, in the 33rd world, its an honor

so he tells his woman he''d get a place to store the paintings abd she consents and he gets kitty the apartment she needed

so later kitty and jonny are in their new plaace and onny needs 1000 $ and tells kitty to black male him by saying his woman will find out if he dont

this is seeming like the Bible with her as Eve, and jonny as da snake

also the modell friend comes by and so does cross with his paints and cross meets jonny and senses he's seen him b4 and don't trust him

cross is happy for once and sez if ht werent for his b--chy wife theyd marry

she sez she needs 1000 bones and suggests she'd get it from jonny and cross volunteers to get it to keep her safe

later jonnny wants to ssell the paintings and assumes if cross was working hee'dd not have the bbucks he's giving em

at night, cross missappropriates cash from his boss and jonny tries selling cross's paintings but gets jack sh-t as they aint worth cr-p

he tries another art guy and lets art guy sell the painting for him but dont give his name or address so if the guy forgets him, he''s f'd

jonny tells kitty the paintings are woorth 25$ each (as 1 junkie on a cork=ner  is a good judge of appraising art) and thinks cross isnt really a big a55 painter

when johnny returns to the art guy, the painting sold to a big a55 art expert

later the art expert comes by jjohhnys placea nd jonny sez kitty made em but she resists

she uses what she knows of art from cross (cross? like the vilence jack guy or mazinger guy?) to fake knowing painting and art expert sez he  sensed a msculine energy from the paintings

imagine if the energy o the paintings, combined with her guilt, made her devolve into some kinda crotch monster?

later cross offends kitty and she gets b--chy and she just wants him to paint

and all cross wants is to marry her

so cross paints kitty (that sounds wrong) and later cross's woman gets b--chy over something (i wasmt paying attention)

oh woman saw his painting in this guys window and when he chex with the kitty, she sez she needed cash and sold em and put her namer on em

he understands and is glad his painting sold and paints more of her

later cross's woman's 1st husband comes by and is still alive and revealed he faked biting it and wwent on a tugboat to some place for a while

as hher husband is still alive, their marriage isbt canin as in the 40s, its 1 man 1 woman

but the coommies wanna change that

imagine; 500 people in a  pit, b0ning as a human centipede of lust!

he don't wanna return to his wife and wants cash so cross agrees to let husband  in to get woman;ss life insurennce dough she got from him biting it

but his woman is still there and when husband comes in and wife spazzes out, cross books it

he arrives at the studio partment and sees kitty and jonny making out and books it

in the real version they were b0ning

they hear him and jonny slaps kitty and books it

cross drinks in a bar and hears Christians in the street praising rejecting sin and comes back to confront kitty

he pulls out a revolver and blows 5 holes in her, the putd it in his mouth for the 6th shot


he sez he wants to marry her and she laughs at him and b--ches out in a tirade attacking all hhe  is

he has enough and starts beating on her under the covers

wow, didnt expect that


that b--ch neded a beat down!!

so jonny retuns as cross is leaving aand cross hiodes behind da stairs as jonny goes up, they escapes

so later the papers say kity was shanked dead with an ice pick

burn in h-ll you sack of sh-t!!

hope karl marx is b0nio ur guts!!

then at woek boss and da cops know cross jacked 1200 $ from da company andboss lets him off but i thinkhe's canned

oh andwifes husband outed him

so jonny is arrested by da cops and da evidence is pretty f'd of him

at da trial all the characters from b4 say she painted it and cross sez he s-cked at painting

so jonny gets the gas at sing sing and on a train some guys chatting with cross say no one gets away with murder and ur guilt will f you in da end

although it was a heat of the moment thing that mae himwack her, he was out of his mind, he snapped after all her b--ching. if i keep slapping a guy and he sklugs me and i fall in a spike put, is that murder? besides, its justifiable homocide! she screwecd with his heart!

btw, wasnt eddy g robs in that dr cltterhouse movie where hes a crime dr or w/e?

so at home he's hauntyed byy kittys voiceand spazzes out

it looks like a good silent film

btw this is good b/w and fullscreen

also onnys voice haunts him for saying he'd be with kitty now

yeah... in h e double new york!!

so cros hangs himself and 2 guys save him and later he's in da park and da ciops tell him to gtfo

he wants to be tried and executed and its been years

that kitty b--ch ruined him

then he sees a painting he did of kitty being sold for 10 000 $

he walks the empty streets haunted by jonny and kittys words

the ebnd

that was pretty good

nice and cool, shows the fall of the guy and the bad guys get iced

kinda dark and depressing but not as bad as stuff like law and order

for the 40s it was too much but today its not that awful

good acting and directing and it tells the story well

glad i saw it. its worth watching

for scarlet street 2 i want cross to find a psychic and finds he'[s being haunted by the souls of jonny and kitty who have devlved into daemons and want revenge. so they team up and go across new york to find these ancient soul clensers hidden in the underground sewer areas of soviet new york to summon and fight the ghosts. its also an 8 but game like blaster master on nes, gb, master system, game gear, tg16 atari jaguar and lynx where you go through these underground castles in soviet new york and fight devolved people while each soul clender gives tyou a new ability to get to new areas.

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Flesh And Blood Review

 note; i spell right si;ently

flesh and blood

this is my review on flesh and b.ood from the distant fture year of 1922

it stars lon chaney, noah beery sr, ralf lewis, Togo Yamamoto, Wilfred Lucas and other 1800s uys i never heard of

its directed by Irving Cummings who did The Story of Alexander Graham Bell (who was big on eugenics)

I never saw this b4 and was considering reviewing the paul verhoeven version instead, but thought, I'd do rhis

so it starts woth a bold but silmple ritle and then thete's a prison like riki-oh byt lwss cannibalism

so chaney, dressed like a civil war guy, is yrying to escape from some guys

not to be mean, but lion  chaney was 1 ugly dude

i mean it works as he's usually the bad guy, but he's no lilliaN GISH

so this guy in da road is pickinh up app;es that spilled (road apples??) adas chanen counts them, he sees it as the signal to run over and idein da cart

pretty clever

so then its in soviet chinatown and a dectictive is looking around

ed gein; private dick

so this cop was the one who nailed chaney in the 1st place and wants to sed him back again

also this guy li fang (sounds like a double dragon guy) rules chinatown and ants chaney safe

so thr mario cart of food comes in with chaney in it anthe cop does a looksy and lets em through

li fang was once saved from ruin by chanel and is repaying him by keeping him safe

but chaney's womN Is sick and he wants to see her

also she changed her name

laatter some guys doo the 1 2 3 signal with blowing smoke from a pipeand tapping stuffto sig nal these 2 guys to fake a figtr  in tthe sstreet

lon channey escapes in a hidden passage and sneax  out annd eventually onto da roof of a building

he sees his woman carried out on a strewtcher into a truckk and i think she bit it

he goes bby there and asa who was that and finds its his woman and her daughter is out and not reyurning

he  goes back to fangg and lames a guy named fletcher burton for framing him (chevy chace in flrtch directed by tim burton)

fang li sez lans daughter thinks hes in h-ll and  he wants to clear his name so there wull be no scandel

later lon difsguised hiimserlf to avoid da cop aand fakes being a cripple

he's aleays handicapped in one waty or abother and is the baddest a55 in the movie

nowadaty's he'd get endlass oscars for playing all those cripples

so burton is a  high rank lawyer or w//e and his son tes is a jr partneer

teddy goes to this place to help theslum bums and its managed by a chick called the angel lady wjo ted is into

better than ted kennedy, leabing that cick he was b0ning to bite it in a car he was drunk driving in

burn with ur devient bros and dad you c-ck sucker!!

so burton is worried about lon chaney comming for him and lon is searching for his daughter

angel lady is nice to lon and he thinks she's his kid as she has her moms fake name and looks like his woman

will lon bite  it saving her?

blace bets now!!


lon talks to a 1 leg kid who was hit by an ice wagon (like that guy lon played in the penalty)

then lon plays a song that angel lady''s mom liked (anngewomon??) and she has feelings and lon comforts her annd reminds her of the Bible verse of Jesus  giving rest to those who come to Him

she tells him that burton is buying then a new building

good web of characters this film builds

all connected together and all with motivves

its like a non X rated version of that ausatraliann women in prison show wentworth

so angel ladty plays the song for ted and lon plays it to himselff and ted is in love with her

its kinda nice

and he wants to announce their engagement tomorrow night

later at the place, 1  leg get carried away and lonnie  finds out shes engaged to ted

kinda like if Pan fwll in love with Giryu in DBGT

Ancient enemies merging families (Saiyans and Tsuffles)

so cop nails the guys who drove da fruit wagon and is getting closer to fang and lonand

thren goes in the fang house but a signal is given that gets lonniee  to escape b4 cop gets there

cops named doyle like that cbc show in soviet canada republic of doyle

cop loox aroound and leavees and goes back but a guy at da door gives a signal to warn fang

cop puts hand on fake wall to lean but dint find it and arrests fanng

fangs butler lets out lon annd i jest noticed lons disguise  dont  cover  his  face

its just crutches and a cripple walk

burton chats wuth angel lady to try to make noot wed ted but she sez she womt w/o his consent

burton goes but lon comes buy and she sez teds dad sez no andsez if only her dad was here

lon sez he's watching over her and wants regenge for burton not thining his kid is good enuff for his son

lon busts in to burtons place with a tommy gun and shreds him with bbullets as he screams like stallone


really he goes to see him and burtons  freaked out like freezza seeing trunks go ss

lon shows him a forged dsigniture llon made and givves burton a confession he wrote of whhat burton really did 15 years ago

how  old is anngel lady??

was she born after lon went to jail?

iff she's 14 and hhas work and hetting maried its like an anime

brton sez he tried to atone by donationg  80 000 $ to the slum place but lon sez its a btibe to God

burton begs  for forrgiveness as it would ruin his fam but lon sez its burtons  fams turn as llongs got f;d

burton wont sign and lon gets in his face

if this were rriki-oh, he'd be deboning  him with his bare hands to make him sign it

soo burton ssiyns it and the cops grill fang by rocking  him sideways in a chair

then tted thedore logan aand his babe come in and ted is  p-ssed  dad told  angel lady not to wed him

burton sez sorry and consents to them wedding

she sees lon and is  happy and  they go off

lon sees his revenge will f their lives and he rips up the confession

he tells the burton to look after theiir kids and goes back to jail

and a Bible Quote of how Greater Love is a man giving up his life for another

he sez he let hunted and returns  free

then a quote saying strange paths men take to happpiness

thr end

that was well done

good heart, good story, cleever stuff, good twists, no swearing or violence or nde scenes or devients

good redemption story and showung how even those who did wrong can still do good

like lance armsttrong cheating in that race everyone cheated in and raising cash for research

good acting and lon chaney is good in here and a good sense of innocence and hope

i liked it and I'm glad i saw it

plus  its only  like an hour and 13 mins long

ffor flesh  and blood 2 i want lon to be in jailand dealing with a new prison gang that is  rising. so he has to foorm his own gang and  take em on. Its also an 8 bt beat em up on sega master system snd game gear, atari 7800 and  lynx, nes, tg16 and game boy where its like river city ransom but you go to different wings in the prison and fight the rival gang while boosting stats and eating the fallen.

Monday, September 14, 2020

The Theory Of Everything Review

 Noyte: I spell good in tthewroy

the theroy of everything

this is my review on the theory of everything ffrom 2014 (tthe yyear the 1st robotech war ended kinda)

its firected buy james marsh who didd shadow dancer (not the sega game) and king of theives(not the aladdin disney movie) and statrs eddy redmaye, harry lloyd (not the silent film star), and da "voice" of steven halking

its based on the true story of the nrerd who was on the simpsons and big bang theory

eddie got the ooscar for this and beat michael keaton

they usually give it to handicapped playing actors

I cant believe that brit playing that wheelcrair nerd beat Michael keaton

all he did was sit in a chair and drool for 3 hours

I wouldn't be surprised if some guy wins an oskar for sitting in a couch and j-rkin off for the whole movie

i saw this once b4 and thought it was pretty good

so after a whole min of logos we get the title and flash back to soviet england and these nerds racing bikes

they look like harry potter on their a55 brooms

they go to a bar and his buddy sez "what if the secrets of da universe have to do with secks"

sounds like daemonismn as lust attracts ddaemons and is used it their summoning lituals

so steve mmeets a girl and sez hes a cosmologist and thiest but shes in the curch of soviet england

the cult started by kiing henry as he OJ'ed his wives

they grow closer and she gves him hee number

then he has a quiz or assignment and its gonna be hard

then he's in a rowing team and is a megaphone at the a55 end yelling when to hpaddle

then hes at a bar and meets gf but later at his dorm chats with buddy abbout how he's not done any work on his assignment

after buddy leaves he gets to work on it

he later meets a teacher about how he hasnt choses a subject too do his paper on and shows him the hall of honor where the guys from this school who di good cr- are honored

later gf  gors to steves fams for dinner ans sez she's studdying mmidevil poetds and french//spanish

that's not far off of gender studies in usefulness

mcomic boog guy; i have a mastersdegree in folklore and mythology!

so steve invidtes her to the school dance and at there sez he dont ddance

is that a dark joke?!

also he talx abouyt how stars give u v light and latr they dance in the street lights

man that was 20 mins?

so later hes learning about black hooles (thats racist!!) and how time/space stop in there as things crush

if neil degrasse tyson did p0rn0, he;d be known as; the black hole!

so hes got a theroy about da universe getting smaller and works on stuff about the universe beginnig

spoiler: The Bible sez how it began, 6000 years ago.

there's lots of proof out there

so he cruunches da numbers and later trips and falls on his face

they do tests and he's crippling out and they find his body is f--king out and he's got 2 years to live

he tells his buddy and gets bumme out for like 10 mins of screen time and when his woman comes by he trys to keep her away

she's gay for him and kisses him on his mouth and cheers his a55 up

so later he's cripplingg out and hiss gf is told to ditch him as he's going too h-ll soon

ahe dont care and has hope

so they get married even though he's a deniar of The Lord and marriage is a sacriment between man and wife and Him

Its like an Anti Semite wanting a Barmitzva

they poop out a did and he's cerippling out worse and has a meeting with the staff about his theory of a black hole being the beginning of time

they like it annd he wants to prove it with an equation

but thats just workig on paper

the real stuff might be different

look at myth busters how they test stuff on paper and it still don't work wnen done in real life

if everything that worked on paper worked in real life, communist countrires wouldsn't have killed hundreds of millions

later at a dinner e can't go up stairs as he's too criuppled and sees his son

eventually he uses a wheel chaiir like the american adaptatoon wanted one of the sailor scouts to use

so later he;s  got an idea andis brought to school to give a speechto a class about his blacj hhole theoory how it goes from nothing to nothing

the school guys this iits sh-t and1 soviiet seeing guy stands up for him saying its real

latter his buddy helps carry him and asks if it affects his b0ner and he sez no with an austin powers grin

so he gets a book made or something annd gets an electric wheel chair (like an electric chair for cripples?) and has 2 kids bow who are grade schoolers

later he  sez he bet a guy a years subscription to a magaZINE if he wins

the maggazune was penthouse (who funded urotsukidoji)

he IS austin powers!

later theres a guardan party and steven is choaking on phlegm but dint want a ddoctorrbb

his woman is unhappy that his cripplaing is f ing da fammiily and needs hekp

if they had slaves it would be easier on everyone

later she goes to Church and OH FF!!  Shes in the Curch of england! Just like  Alexander in Clockwotrk Orange!!

later aa  church guy comes by andsteven sez his new theroy is the universe has no behinnig or creator

and his wooman aggrees

wait, I think she supports Creation and steve  keeps takking shots at The Lord

Foor someone who debies His existance, he sure hates Him

so church guy chats with steven universe (is that where they got it?!) and after he goes steven sez he  consewnts to her getting help

later gf sez to church guy she's pregnant and later deals with church guy that they have feeling for each other and he walks off

so she gos camping with church guy and the kids and later they see a thing in a church with steven carried in

wait, i think both are happpening at the same time

at the show, steven starts choaking and the woman he's with helps him out

is this where clockwork orange got the big strong guy carrying the crippled guy around from?

they should have got a female body builder to carry his dead a55 around

so they get him to a dr and he sez if they save him, he wont talk anymore

rather than giving up cuz something fall off, she tells da dr to save him

imagine if she sed; no voice? not worth it! and had him put to sleep?

thats what the writer ofn field of dreams did

he gave up on livfe and went to a dr in soviet canada and was executed

so she sez bye to church guy and the drss operate on his nck and put a hole in it

she gets a board with colords and letters that she blinks when she says a color and narrows the choices down from there

so she gets a new nurse and i think he's gay fro her

later they make a device to do the alephebet scanning thing into a computer to read the words

but the voice is American according to the woman and they want anohtert one (thats racist)

but its the only voice they got and now he can fake having a soul instead of being a brit mo

so then he writes a book on time and later this chick, i think da nurse, shows him the penthouse magazine and i assume they b0ned

they grow closer and this is kinda awful as his wife  devoted her life  to him even when he got crippled and was thought to bite it, and he  betrays her for some 5kank who wipes his a55

what a sleaze

so he tells his wifehe's going to America with nurse for another award and she knows he's dumping her

she otta bite off his parts

breaking up with a loyal woman for some 55kank annd leaving her with the kids

i guess he IS a rapper

look up M C Hawking

so later in Soviet America he  goes  up to he honored and does Q/A with jokes

when asked if he has a philosophy to help him when not beliving ion Te Lord, he  gets out of his chair,walks down, and picks up a pencil of a  blonde

ut its just a phantasy

what is this? Pearl Harbor  where Dead |A55 F DR stands up??!!

he replies with tthat tthere should be no boundaryies to humaanss or the universe

sounds like the ggarden of Eden or Sodom annd Gomorrah

then he sez; where there's life, there's hope

the 1st smart thing ii heard from him

later the regent queen of soviet england gives him an award annd his real wie is there to help him adter he dumped her

he sez "look what we made" about the kids  she pooped out and then the film goes backwards rewind unti8l he meets his gf

then text i cannt read  saying where tey are now as its widescreen and HD and I have a REAL TV niot those cr--ppy a55 flatscreen ones that f==ks out after 4 years  and costs 500 $

the end

that was pretty good

well acted, directed and made

nice and mild and not too awful

not much swearing i can recall and only a few ppenthouse pix tio make ut pg113

it shows how aqful the hawkman was and how he rose to become the most popular nerd ever

i enjoyed it but it didnt blow me away

for the theory of everything 2 i want his budy to come back and reveal he's mastered the black arts and can use is occult powers to heal him. steve dont buy it but goes with it to shut him up and regains his ability at the cost ogf his soul. using this, he uses his celebrity to spread the word that demon rituals are real and gets people on board. But if demomns are real, then so is The Lord and the holy take him on in a series o rouds where he attacks with his devolving body of bone extensionn and fleshy tentacles and they useholy words to fight him. after he is beat down he retreats and you gotta hunt him down  to purge the evil whilr daling with his enslavved mintions. its also a 16 bit top down action game like cruader of centy on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as a big beefy chick who fights with hooly words and not fists to blast the evil outta pelople

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Bird Of Paradise Review

Note: My spelling is 4 da birds

Bird Of Paradice

This is my review on Bird of Paradice from the disatant future year of 1932

its  based on a play and direcyed by King Vidor who did Bardelys the Magnificent, The Big Parade and LaBoheme

it stars Joel McCrea, Dolores Del Rio and Lon Chaney GX and was done by  David O Selznick

I never saw this b4 but in Inuyasha was Yokai caled birds of paradice

so after really silent film seeming credits, this boat full of white straight  adult living human men goes through rough waves and coomes to an island and the natives come oit to greet em in canoes

the guys hit on em and they dont sppazz out at men finding em hot cuz they aint feminists or commies

the saiilorsthrow cr-p in da water and the natives get it as they think its cool

then a shark comesd by and a sailor saves the natives by throwing a  rope with cr-p in it to catch it but it drahgged over

a native chick wjjo caught a knife thrown over uses it to cut the rope on the guys leg and  saves him

after he comes to hemeets her and she speaks soviet italian or w//e and at night they are on da island amd havve a  dinner

its revealed the natives ritual saccrifice their women to the volcano too keep it happy

nowadays we see this as mental, but with nerds saying carbon going from 0.002 to 0.003% in the atmosphere (the 50% increase) then the whole planet will f--k out, its easy to see how some  people can believe silly things

at the  dinner 2 guys like eating it but don't when they find its octopus

You neve had Takoyaki?

I never had octopuss but had squid, crab and shrimp

so this chickk dances and falls but when a guy catry's her off, the nativvs spaazz out as only the pronce can touch the kings daughter

is this one of those inbreeder islands?

same family marriage is equal marriage

lateer main guy sees hero girl who saved him swimming, oh wait, its the primncess too, and goes swimming with her in his undies

good underwater scenes for the early 30s

good  tropical music too, sorta like spongebob

is she swimming nude? she's got a big a55!

so she leaves da water and he pins he ddown and shhe struggles

no weinstein!! i dont consent!

she ggets into it and the kiss with consent

da next day da boat leaves and captain butt wipe sez main guy stayed ehind and they'd gget him on da way back

the crew guy packed him a bahg of cr-p  and the native  kids f'd it up

then main guy takes a motorboat  wiith the natives canoes and a title card sez when flying fish show up the natives have a carnival

according to candman 2; carnival means farewell to flesh

oh the natives are catching fish jumping outta da sea

and main guy uses a ttennis racket

princessdrags his boat back by a  rope in her teeth and on da islannd is a clearing in da jungle witrh roses

she gets  him on da ground and wants him to strugleas they make out

but b4 they b0ne, a spear lands by em andnative ghuyts swarm him, yell in soviet irish, and leave

later msin guy chases a bird or something anf catches it and this geezer gives him a leaf wiith cr-p written on it like goku's grpovery list in dragon ball super

using drawimg in the dirt, she tells him princess is gonna marry a prince

he spends several mins getting across te island (is this where wonder boy aka adventure island got it from?) and gets to her as she is driven off in a boat

he sez in english he wants her to stay with him  like she can understand butthe natives tie him to a tree for some S Before M

geezer unties him ad he gives her a record player for a canoe and chocolates up his skin with some dark goo

at the other island she does a dance in a circle of fire and main guy is there and just cuz hes got filth on him they don't know he's white

he saves her from da fire and dries off in his bat boat to paradice, a seculeded island near em

while there they teacvh eachother their languages and i think she's not wearing a top, just flowers over her t-ts in a necklace

he climbs a big a55 tree and cuts the trees nuts off to eat

she busts the nuts and feeds him the juice inside

tom hanks in cast away; coconut milk is a natural laxative

me; they'll be sh-tting everywhere!!

so it rains and they hide under leaves ans he wants to make a house

its like naked and afraid if they didnt suffer from cuts, burns, scrapes, dehydration, infections an parasites

better known as; dante's inferno gx!

a new generation of naked people suffering

so he buils a house as hes gota knife and its better than those rotting naked and afraid guys ever did

remember the guy who a wasp stung in his man thing??

man; ohh! its really swelling up!

imagine if he got a b0ner and it ruptured!!

so they have a pet goat and shes learning english andhe wants her to come home to civilization with him

but she kknows she has to be ritual sacrificed to stop the volcano from erupting

he tells her of his 1st world life and she finds it amusing

imagine if she did go there and it was like encino man

so the volcano is spazzing out and she's worried if she dont jump in it, then it wiill go off

meanwhile, he's out at sea, butt hammering a turtrle and riding it like a boogie board

he drags it on land and when he comes home he finds his pet goat was j fk'd and his woman is out

then the ground splits where he is and steam comes out

he sees boats of the natives leaving to go back to volcano island and takes his canoe and gives chase but narly gets sucked into a huge a55 whiprlpoole

use a lapras with the HM whiprlpool! then you can get to th islands ith lugia!

ooh, he went down da drain!!

wtf he escpaed the whirlrpool even though his boat went under?!

no! thats not possible!

i think...

after mythbusters, manswers and 1000 ways to die, i dont know whats possible anymore

so he gets to da island and swinds from vines like he's tarzan boy ocver lava

the floor is lava?!!?

so he goes to rescue her and gets shanked by spears and swarmed by natives

they eat him alive as they tear chunks of flesh off and devoir it whole

jk thats sudddenly last summer

they tie him up and she's tied up too and sez they gonna feed her to the volcano fro her sins

shes glad she knew him and he sez he loves her and the cheif sez their volcano is mad at him and they gonna ice him

he says their god is not real and The Lord matters and he starts praying

nowadays this would be shown as bad or not be in there at all

so they kiss and the natives carry them up to be sacrificed but the sailors arrive and cap some of the natives and they scatter

later the sailor scouts are treating the main guy and he's gonna be ok

so the crew talks on what to do about the princess and most say its not good for them to stay a couple

she sez to main guy (named jonny lik in the room) and she wants to save him and her people come bby saying unless she goes with them, main guy gon go to h e double san fran sisco

so she sez bye to him by putting fluids in her mouth and kissing it into him and its kinda touching

she  goes back with her people to be ritual sarificed and we get good dissolve cross editing showing her walking and the volcano

the end

the was actually quite good

nice romance and story

good acting

good music and editing

King Vidor does it again

he was great at these movies

and he did the kkansas scenes in the wiZARD of OZ

good b/w fullscreen class and heart

truelly a well made film

for bird of paradise 2 i want him to wake up and find she has slipped her soul into him wuth that mouth juice kiss and now is with  him in his she dont have a bioy, they meet in his dreams and have fun sexy random adventures. also itts an 8 bit platformer on nes, gameboy, master system, game gear tg16 atari 7800 and lynx where you play as the  guy and/or the chick and do varuous kinds of gameplay like abobo's  big adventure


Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Cry Danger Review

 Note: I spell Dangerous like Darkwing Duck

Cey Danger

This is my review on Cry Danger from the distant furure year of 1951

it was nearly lost and the last copy was remastered and now its back(i heard it on tcm)

its directal by Robert Parrish who did The Wonderfil Country and Casino Royale 1

its got dick powell, william conrad, jean porter, Rhonda Fleming, Richard Erdman, and other 1920s born people who made it to the 2010s

I neer saw thias b4 but heard it was good

so it starts with da RKO logo andopening credits and a train going by and eventually pulling into a statipn

a guy gets off and along his wwa;lk, 2 guys tail him

da guys name is rocky  and he chats with a newspaper hobbit about how hes outta jail after 5 years

the tailers chat with him annd they are past homies and they go ffor a drink as hobbit makes a phone call

at da bar its revealed he was doing life until his homie came up with an alibi after years and the taiilers want the cash he jacked from the bank jhob he did  tthat sent him to da slammer

1 tailer was his homie and just got back and alibied him but they only met now and he was a marine

he read da files and found he could fake being his alibi and did it to get the 100 000 $

rocky didnt do da crime but knows who did

they drive in a car andthey alk about danny and his wife (touettes guy??) and go to a triler park and see a  blonde dooing her hair i a 50s bikini

alibi hits on her aas rocky goes to da managwr to rent a trailer for a few days

also alibi lost his leg in nam or italy or w//e

manager recognizzes rocky aand dont want any ttrouble and trys to get hi to not be there

after blonde hits on rocy to set him up with better chicks than the one hes looking for (P-MP!!), magager sez to rocku a cop was around asking aabout him

this chick nancy (like dale gribbles woman? feed her alien urine!!) comes by andis glad to see roclu

he tellz her danny will be out in 06 months (dannys her husbando) and they reveal rocky wanted her but danny got her

latwr alibi comes by and revealsblonde tries to pick his pocket and he smacked her for it, bartender attacked him and he busted his a55 too

alibi sez he'dd ay the  bartender gave him a strange drink and he dont remember the rest

what is this? Kizuna?! The yaoi anime with Dan gHreen?!

da cops come by and rickky stands up for albili and blames da bartender

if this were made today, he'd have been b0ned by the bartender

later, rokky (the 2nd red ranger??)goes 2 a bar and talks to a guy who set up da crime and wants his cut for being in jail

boss gives him 500$ and sez to bet on a horse that will pay it to 4000$

huh, his name is castro, like candy a55 trudeaus real dad

after leaving he talks to da cop tailing him and later is shot at and chades the hitman but he gets away

a  neighbor thinks he was firing but he has neighbor smell his gun to prove its not been fired

da next daye blonde and allibino reonsiled and tells nancy about the lat night wth the meeting and hitman

she wants to go with him but he dont want her iced if the hitman returns

they go together anyway to see a witess and she sez shes shes a secritary now

he drops her oof at wurk and he goes to the witness place where he chats with witness wife who sez witness hit it years ago

but he got an inheritence from someone he ever talked about after da trial

hes gonna go butshe hits on him which he dont consent to

he calls boss and asks about the horse and after that, she suddenly wants to not b0ne him

she already gave consent! its too late to take it back! no backsies!

so he bets on da horse and goes to castro's place and rthey losten to da radio of da race

i think his horse wins  andhe goes and gets da cash and returns to da trailor parke with a bunch of cr-p he bought

later blomcde and alibi and nancy and rocci go to a club to dinner and da cops come by to grill him over the cash as its from a robbery

they go to check the places the roki went for da bet but its not there

even castro turns on him and sez he was never there but cop knows he was as he saw him there and lets rokly  look into it

later liko sneak attack soviet castro and while e's on his a55, grills him

he knows witness was bribed to finger him and he tells castro to get all da cah even though he's only got half of it

rocko beats him up and books it and castro call someone

he goes home and theres a sniper near by gonna pull a j fk

alibi and blonde go out for a drink and nancy is p-ssed at rc's cape for f--kin everything up

then theres shots and when they get out another cop is there and alibi is wounded andblonde is in h e double california

later in da hospitalthey visit alibino and other cop sez he knows aliboone gave a fake alibi

cop gets castro, namcy and roc's cape or feather (i forgot which i used lasty) and grills em

he lets rocku andnancy go and sez in front of soviet castro that he's calling off ca cop dat follow  him

so after nancy trys to talk out rocky of going out,  he goes out, getys astro at gunpoint and plays the ussr's national past time; russian roulette with him to gethim to admitdanny WAS in on it and has the other half of his cash

for 1951, this was pretty bada55

castro alls cop and sez he wants to coonfess bit its really his hitmen

so rok tmakes him call da real cops and when the hitmen get there they open ffire on da cops

after da cops get th hitmen, they come in and rocky sezhe don't know where the non castro half of da dough is

he gets back home andfakes not knowing where castro is as they don't got soviet CNN blasting the sam cr-p non stop every time anything happens and she don;t know

she eventually tells hishe has da cash andwants to dtch her man while sayingcastro would have her nailed for the illegal dough

he agrees to run off with her but walks out and tells da cop where da cash is

oh an alibi is gonna ne fine

he alks offf intothe day as cop goes to arest nancy

the end

that was pretty good

nice twist with the guy being guilty and the dame  being in on it

pretty bada55 and it tells a clear story

it dont drag and dont feel long and has good paacing and acting and feel

i liked it and think it did a good job

good crime story mystery and i'm glad they were able to keep it from being lost

it deserves to exist

for cry danger 2 i want alibi to be recovering from the hit andfinds he's prtty f'd up. but the dr's offer a new treatment to give him metal limbs and bones to replace the ones blown off. he gets cyberized and the movie is him regaining use of his body through rehab. also its an 8 bit mini game collection thing like that japanese Bonk game but on Nes, master system, tg16, gameboy, gamme gear, atari 7800 and lynx where you do different obstacle couces and mini games to unlock higher difficulty ones and at the end you fight an ape as the game boss to see if you are better than the average human.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

The Black Raven Review

 Note: I spell Blicketee Black

The Black Raven

This is mmy review on the black raven from the distant future year of 1943

i never saw it b4 but its on and only 61 mins so i might as well

it has geoege zucco, wanda mckay, noel madison annd other 1800s guys i never heard of

Its directed by Sam Newfiend who did I accude my parents, the lost continent, wolf dog and adventure island (not the nes game)

so after really 40s seeming openning credits that could fit in a 20s film, we see who plays who with clips from the film like in space balls

shouldnt this be at the end?

glenn strange? like steven strange from dr who?

so it starts withthis house in a storm that looks outta a 20ls sulent film and someones peeping in da window

a guy named whitey comes in with a gun andwants revenge for being sent to jail and the guy in the housethrowing him under the bus

andy comes back which makes whitey look and amos (house guy) takes him down and tie him up

oh amos is da black raven

is he an x man or xxx star?

soo whitey sez he'dd skip town and never come back but raven (not the emo kid from teen titans) wont take da chance

then a guy comes to da desk named mikey and wants to escape to soviet canada as he's into racketeering and needs da raven

raven chats with him and finds mikes homie timis selling him out to get his stuff and mikey wants to return when the heats down

meanwhile a glasses guy in a car wants to get outta town anda moustache guy sezthe bridge is out and sends him to a hotel called da black raven to spend da night

tthen another car comes by with a couple whowantts to go to soviet canada to escape her dad and get married

if this were made today they'd be queer or b0ning

so glasses comes by the hotel and whitey knox his breef case open and its full of cash

then the living, human, straight, adult, opposite fammily samme age couple comes by and whitey sez hes gonna stay when da butler offers to get him out

so mikey chats with a guy, the raven i think and 1 guy is famillier with raven

whitey gets out and raven sez too his butler or gardener or w/e to find him

the couples dad comes by and tells bf to not marry his daughter and smacks him and wants him arrested for kisdnapping

is his daughter underaged or somethimg?

i mean in dbgt pan was 15 and truunks was 25

andd in sailor moon serena was14 and darien was in his mid 20s

and in robotech dana was 15 and that guy she b00ned was 25

and in yugioh joey is 16 and mai is 24

and in cardcaptors aiden was 25 and natasha was 16

what is with japan and teens and adults?!

so dad trys to call da cops the da phone f's out

gf tells dad she knows where he gets his cash and he blames the bf for turning her against him

holy cr-p we're like 30mins in with adds

later glasses notices someone trying to brea into his room and tells da raven who se da doorz locked and knows glasses from soewhere

he takes off his glassesa nd realizes hes the missing bank teller who sez this stolen cash is his only chance to live his deam and he wont turn it over

he gets glasses to give him da cash or face a trial for embezelmesnt

in da basement da gardner or w/e gets caught in clothesline and spazzes out at a window blowing open

later a guy finds a corpse and spazzes out and tells the raven who chex it out

then they find gf who was trapped in a room

oh her dad got it

she chex it out and bf comforts her

later, mikey confronts raven and sez it was dad who took the glasse's dough (i f'd up tryping this) and wants to know where the cash uis at gunpoint

so a cop comes by looking like a cowboy and checks da corpse andd grills the suspects

so mikey sez he knows da cash is around here and later glasses accidentally pushes gardner down da staits

cop thinks bf iced da dad and raven plays word games witth cop to see if he really knows

gardneer asks mikey if he iced da dad and mikey slugs him

bf escapes and hides and raven checks a stool probably used to bust in da dads head

in da raina guy fights someone and i thik 1 is da gardener who wacks the other

gf thinks she heard a gunshot annd raven sez its thunder

mikey shoves  glasses and gardner in da basement and lox em in

so mikey tties up raven annd gf and searches da place for a cas as cop gets up from the beating in da rain (oh he fought da gy)

glasses and gardener try to break outta da basement and bf is in there 2

cop opens da basement annd frees em and takes into custody bf

raven has untied himself and gf

later a guy gets capped and da killer escapes out a window

the cast gathers and find the body and cop sez that bullet was meant for him

so raven confronts glasses over wacking dad and a guy shoots at then so raven caps him

oh it was whitey he capped

glasses admits he iced dad and threw the cash out the window

the raven bites it from being capped from witey

the end

after da credits is an add for War Bonds which I'm glad they keppt in this print as its like watching a vhs from da 90s and seeing all da adds

that was pretty good

i think mikey got it in the part when they found da last body and it was whity or glasses who capped him

that was pretty good though

nice b/w full screen calm cool style

good feel

good acting, writing and music

good mystery and suspecnce an unexpected resolution

it holds up and isnt too long

sorta like th bat whispers but more basic and simple

i liked it and thought ts a decent40s movie

for the black raven 2 i want the couple from the 1st movie to have not gone to canadda and stayed in Freedomland USA and its now the 60s and the beatles music is turning kids into junkies and degenerates. they raised their kids rigt and as they prayed away the evil, they can purify others from the evil music by using holy words at them. its also a 2 player 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16,atari jaguar and gba where you play as either the bro or sister or both and instead of using your fists, you use holy woeds at them to drive out the evil beatles music and woek your way to woodstock to stop the demon woorshipping bands from devolving the youth into deviants. in the final round, at woodstok, the bands are revealed to be daemon worshippers and they sacrifice themselves to summon a big phallllic daemon and you gotta send it back to H E Double England!

Friday, September 4, 2020

Game Reviews Volume 10 From 2020 Part II

More thoughts on games I beat over the year

This one is from the summon of 2020

 Just beat Shadowrun on Genesis. Took 34 hours as I did it mostly w/o a guide and when I got stuck, I just did Shadowruns to boost my stats. Its a Cyberpunk RPG where you walk around and do quests in the 2050s Seattle. Its really open ended and doesn't really force you into the story much as you do it when you want. Instead of boosting stats and leveling up, you get Karma points by doing missions, advancing the story or icing guys. You travel around Seattle and have to solve a few mysteries and help people in the dark gritty underworld. You can choose from either a Samurai, a Decker or Gator Shaman and using Karma points on stats improves them. You can fight with guns, fists or magic and some missions have you going into buildings to get an item or rescue a guy. You get infinite tries and biting it just sends you back to a health center like in Pokemon. There's also going into The Matrix like Keanu Reeves in that 90s movie, Johnny Mnemonic, and you hack or something. But I didn't do that as it seems complicated and I'd rather use Guns and Magics. Great story and nice graphics and music. Really sells the cyberpunk feel. You can get jumped by guys on the street who ice you and there's magical beasts like Wendigo or H-ll Hounds (which waste you quick). I went out of my way to get this and I'm glad I did. Cost like 40$ for a refitted cartridge with a new battery made from another cartridge with the chip replaced. G;ad I played it. Its really engrossing. I can spend hours on it just doing missions. The easiest way to  do a Shadowrun, is to have to get a package from a corporation and save b4 going in. Check the safes on 1 floor, go out, save, go in again and it resets. Repeat and get goodies from the safes and Karma from wacking guys who attack. Great game. One of the better ones I played. Oh and combat is in real time like the top down levels in Contra and  you can't save when inside or in battle.

Just beat Journey To Silius on my NES collection. Its a Run N Gun game set i the future where you blast Robots with several guns. It was gonna be a Terminator game but Sunsoft lost the rights and they changed it enough not to get sued. Its got that great Sunsoft Art, Graphics and Music and controls pretty well. You have a life and ammo meter and all guns but the starter one drain it. It can be refilled by item drops but health drops are rare. You got 5 levels and the last is an autoscroller and biting it sends you back to a checkpoint but using a Continue sends you to the start of a level. You get 3 Continues with 3 lives each but if you access the hidden menu by hitting B 33 x on the title screen, you can increase it to 9. Its pretty hard and took me 3 hours but can be beat in like 20 mins if you do it perfect. Its well made but the controls could use some Tuning as often I didn't jump when I pressed it and the jump is kinda still. Glad I played it. I was on my last guy and continue when I beat the last boss. Oh and there's no way to get more guys and biting it respawns you with the same ammo as when you bit it. Using a Continue or beating  boss refills it full.

Just beat Mortal Kombat 1 on my Game Gear collection. Quite an ordeal. 1 button punches, 1 kicks and Start blocks so you can't pause. It took around 3 hours but can be beat in 20 mins on a perfect run. You get 6 continues to fight 6 gus, 2 double rounds where you fight 2 guys on 1 life bar, and 2 bosses, Goro and Shang Tung. Sonya can be beat by staying ducked and uppercutting or sweeping the leg when she gets close an Raiden can be beat by crouching and uppercutting when he gets close and if he does his cheap charge, block, then, after an uppercut, get him in a loop of jump kicking him as he gets up. Goro can be beat by going to the back wall and jumping straight up and kicking over and over as he walks into it eventually. Lo Pan I mean Shang Tsung can be beat by ducking his Ki blasts and after he Transforms, uppercut him and loop him in jump kicks. Its pretty hard and fast and choppy and tough to pull out super attacks but its better than MK3, although MK3 has a cheap way of beating it with Sheeva Stomping. MK2 was still the best of the 3 GG MK's. Glad I played it but its pretty obnoxious. Decent Graphics and knda spazzy music but its not hateable.

Just beat World Heroes 2 on my SNES Collection. Its a typical Street Fighter II Clone like SNK is known for but has a few good gimmicks. Its got a  mode where both players have 1 life bar and you gotta push theirs over full to win, but I never tried that. Its got a Deathmatch mode where the battle zone has damaging things, but I didn't use tar. Its pretty much a Bill and Ted ver of Street Fighter as opposed to Bill and Ted Mortal Kombat that is Time Killers. You got a bunch of historical figures like Rasputin or Hulk Hogan beating on each other and it plays pretty well. Good Music, Graphics and Controls and some characters are rip offs of Fist of the North Star and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. You got unlimited Continues I think (I never game overed) and 1 button is punch and 1 is kick, but you can use options to make Strong or not punch and kick its own buttons. Its pretty good and is a nice lite  beat in 25 mins game. You don't even have to face every foe. Just fight a few, then sub boss, then boss. Glad I played this. Sometimes its nice to have a game you can beat in 1 sitting.

Just beat Psycho Fox on my Master System Collection. Its a platform game where you have unlimited Continues to go through 7 levels with 3 worlds each. Each Continue has 3 guys but you can get more. No checkpoints so using a Continue instead of a life only means you get to keep the Items. You got a Character change item that lets you change characters and stay with em until used again or running outta guys. A Nuke and an Invincibility potion that dont stop water or spikes.. Its a momentum platformer so you gotta build up speed to get any distance and 1 button attax and 1 jumpx. You bite it in 1 hit unless you are holding a bird thing which takes the hit, but doesnt work it you threw it and its not on you. Its like Decap Attack but  harder and even has the bonus game. Each character has its own skill. Fox is balanced, Hippo can punch through walls but is a fat load, Monkey can jump high and Tiger can run fast. You don't need them but they help. Its a pretty good game and has nice graphics and music but the control takes some getting used to. Its not impossible and I help it plays less annoying than Mario World. Its pretty good and I'm glad I played it. I used like 74 Continues and it took like 3 hours but there's a warp to the last level if you know what to do.

Just beat Outrun on Genesis. Pretty good Racing game where you and a Blonde drive a Ferrari Mustang or w/e (I don't know cars) and go through 5 zones to the end. After each zone you have a branching area where you can go left or right and it determines the next zone. There are 15 different tracks to play and its sorta like Shadow The Hedgehog in its way of going to em. The difficulty determines how many cars are on the road to try not to bump into and how much time you get. You have 1 life, no continues and run outta time and its back to the 1st level again. Unless you put in a code to access the Super Options and have a level select and can continue where you left off. 1  button is gas, 1 is brake and 1 changes gears which I'm not a fan of as its another thing to keep track of while as Low gear builds speed faster but High gear has a higher max speed so you gotta change it when its right. Its hard to not bump into stuff and and that either drops your speed or outright flips the car and makes you eat time to get going again AND build up speed back. Good graphics and I like the Options and Super Options BG with the SEGA Logo. Good music and you can choose the Radio Station at the start of a playthrough for that run. Its pretty good bit I'm not big on Driving Games too much. Glad I played it though.

Just beat Granada on Genesis. Good top down Tank game where you go through 9 levels with 3 Continues and up to 6 guys for each. Its pretty cool and you can change the controls but with the buttons you can shoot, lock aim, unlock aim, and fire a power shot that forces ya back. its pretty good and doesn't have Tank Controls like Resident Evil or Sub Terrania so its playable. Good graphics and creative bosses and foes and you gotta take out a set number of targets which are  bigger guys or turrets or something to gain access to the level boss which is pretty challenging but not super unfair. Using a life (You have a life bar) respawns you where you left off but a Continue restarts the level. You can also get power ups that vary each level and can help but vanish after the level. Also your health doesn't refill after each level. Its set in the distant future year of 2016 and has good graphics and music. The control is good but takes a bit to get used to and I'm overall glad I played this. Although had I beat it in 2016 like Mazin Saga it would be cooler. The ending is sorta like another Renovation/WolfTeam game Ernest Evans and has thats sprta Anime feel. I beat it on my last guy and last continue so it was a good one.

Just beat Mickey's Ultimate Challenge on my Game Gear Collection.Simple lite game where you use Mickey to solve easy puzzles and mini games like a match 2 or Simon or Sliding Puzzle and get stuff to help people. Not much to it and it can be beat in like 20 mins.. 1 button jumps and the other jumps and you go around. It controls well and the game is kinda easy and quick but its not bad. Nice music and graphics for the Game Gear and no control issues. A few games might be a bit of challenge if you don't know tricks like for Goofy's one I choose the same item for all 4 and see which are right, then change the wrong ones and continue til I process of elimination through. I'm glad I played this and yeah its kinda simple but sometimes its nice to have a game you can beat in 1 sitting. Lite, clean and  you can do the levels in any order. I don't even think you can bite it and there's no need for saves or passwords.

Just beat Curse on Sega Genesis. Its a late 80s Shmup where you play through 5 levels with no Continues. You can hold Down and B and press Start on the Title Screen to access the hidden Options menu and have up to 6 guys and start from any of the 1st 4 levels. It gets kinda tricky but you can take a few hits as you got a Shield that can refill with a Power Up and can have up to 2 options that you can shift around to block shots and fire. A is a uke, B is fire and C is shift options. Its pretty tough after a while but on a perfect run can be beat in like 20 mins. You respawn where you bit it if you still have guys but the 5th level restarts the level with 1 mistake, even on the boss! You get 3 weapons, a spread wave, a shot that goes sorta wavy and a grenade shot.  Good graphics and music and it looks pretty cool. Glad I played it but that last level was quite the ordeal as it had to be done in a perfect run. Not impossible though.

Just beat Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project on my NES collection. Its a decent Beat em up where you play as up to 2 of the 4 Turtles, each with a unique super move that burns HP by pressing A/B. You get 3 continues and using the  Konami Code lets you access the options by putting A before B that has a level select and choosing difficulty and how many guys you start with (3 5 or 7). 1 button jumps and 1 hits and its a lot like TMNT 2 on NES but a bit better and more fair. Using a guy lets you respawn but a continue sends you back. Good 8 bit music and graphics and it controls well. Its a decent game and not too hard but I did it on easy and used a code so I wouldn't have to play it all the way through in 1 sitting. Oh and you get extra guys by points and down + attack lets you flip the foe over your head and maybe slam into other dudes. Glad I played this. Its pretty well done.

Just beat Super Bonk on my Snes emulation. Its a sequel to the TG16 Bonk games and has you going through time and Space like its Dragon Ball Z or something. You get unlimited continues and several lives each that lets you respawn where you are if you use a life and restart a level if you use a continue. 1 button is jump, 1 is headbutt and 1 is a shout move that lets you yell stone letters out if little and you can ride them back and forth as they rebound off walls. The Big Blue and smaLL Red candy is back but now there's nOrMaL yeLLOW that turns you to regular size and the meat can Devolve you into a Bird thing and then into a Lizard thing that has powers I don't know how to activate. You can still rebound on walls, climb with your teeth and spin on poles and head smash foes and get extra heart containers but biting it and using a guy only fills up 3. Plus 1 boss can take out heart containers but you can get them back the next level. Its pretty good but some parts have wiggly control that could be better. Also you can headbutt the plants you spring off of and they jump and you can carry em to other places but they return when you move offscreen. There's minigames that are  not as great as the past ones but still not too bad. I like the flower in basket one and the balloon pump one. Good graphics and music and I'm glad I played this. We need more good Bonk games again. Bubsy came back. Can't Bonk??

Just beat Pocket Bomberman on GBC. Its got 5 levels of 5 areas each with infinite continues and a password every level when you run outta guys. Unlike most Bomberman Games, this is sidescrolling and you jump like a Mario game. 1 hit kills for you but you can get a heart power up to take a hit. You start low power but get more power ups like other Bomberman games like extra shots or more firepower. The  best item is the one that lets you hit select to detonate instead of waiting for it to blow. But biting it costs you it until you reobtain it. Also you keep other power ups from beating levels or biting it unless you use a continue. Also you can stand on what you droop and get higher with em. The worst item is the feather and it makes you floaty. Some parts are annoying but its not unbeatable and biting it on a  boss over and over is kinda  bummer but not the end once you get their pattern. Glad I played this. Its a good twist on the Bomberman style and I think it also works on past GB models.

Just beat Wario Land 4  on GBA. Its pretty good. Autosaves and can quit an area to temp save to come back later to the same room you left off at. You use Wario to use various moves to collect 4 pieces of a Jewel and a floating key nose guy, exit the area after hitting the detonator and get back to the start of the area b4 time runs out. Do this several times per level and beat a boss and solve the 4 corners of the Pyramid, then beat 1 level in the Pyramid and face the game boss. Time don't start running out until you hit the detonator and hitting it changes the area in some ways. You get unlimited tries and can get the stuff in multiple attempts and have a health bar that when out, you gotta restart the area. It controls well and has a tutorial level that teaches what to do and you cab retry the stuff even if you beat it. Getting hit by certain foes turns Wario into various Formrs  like a Zombie or on fire or super fat and these are needed to solve puzzles. Its pretty well made and has great graphics and music. Glad I played this. Its worth getting. I like Wario games more than Mario ones usually as he plays better.

Just beat Captain Commando on my Snes Collection. Its an up to 2 player Beat Em Up where you choose from a cast of 4 fighters with different abilities and attacks. 1 button punches, 1 jumps and 1 is the super move. You can double tap to Dash and Dash then Jump then Attack does a stronger move. Good graphics and music and it plays well and I used like 6 Continues w/o running out but it was on Easy so it might be just on that. Using a Continue lets you return to where you fell, just as using a guy. Its got kind of an 80s feel with its characters and designs. Some levels are unique like the one on a surf board and the one on a surf board fighting a boss. If this had a comic or cartoon I think it could work as these crazy big bad dudes seem cool and I wanna know more of them. Its often best to grab and throw guys into other guys instead of just wailing on em. But I like 16 bit beat em ups and this one is pretty good. Glad I played this. Oh and enemy's an hit each other with their attacks at times.

Just beat Power Blade on my 150 NES games in 1 GBA Cart. Its a pretty good Run N Gun set in the 90s, the 2190s! You play as a big buff guy with Shades and a Boomerang that is sorta like The Cross in Castlevania but you can aim it in 8 directions like Contra.  You got a life bar and a power bar that recharges fast but empties when you attack like Valis. The more power, the further your throws go. You can pick up up to 4 Nukes and use em with select and there's armor you can get that blocks 3 hits 4 busting of but gives you a Wave Motion Attack that goes through walls. As you go through the levels, you gotta find this Contact that gives you a Key Card to access the Boss. Its pretty fair but if you fall in a pit you bite it, even if there's a ladder that shows there's safety down there. But using a ladder gets you in safe. You get unlimited Continues but running outta guys puts you back at the start of the level instead of a check point. There's also a Password that lets you continue. If you get the Key Card once you don't gotta re-get it if you game over. Its pretty good but the 2nd boss was pretty tough and you don't have checkpoints on the final level so you gotta go from start to boss in 1 guy. But you can grind for Life Ups and biting it lowers the power by 1 level and you gotta recollect power ups. Oh and you can do the levels in any order like Mega Man or Castlevania 2 on GB. Glad I played this. Its pretty good.

Just beat The Legendary Axe on my TG16 emulator thing. Its a platformer sorta like Valis as you collect jewels that power up a power bar that lets your attacks do more damage the more power its got. You get 4 Continues but there's a way to get infinite ones with a thick around the continue screen or something. Good graphics colors and music but the jumping takes some getting used to as its kinda sensitive to move in air. Regular checkpoints depending on the area but some parts can be kinda tricky. Its usually good to wait to charge up to full power before advancing and some parts you gotta tip toe  through to avoid getting bum rushed/butt hammered by a buncha guys. Its well made but can be annoying and you get extra guys from score and 1 spot in 1 level where you chop open an item box to find 1. You get a  pretty fair life bar that can be refilled and most bosses become regular foes as the game goes on. Glad I played it but some parts irritated me

Just beat Aliens Infestation on DS. Its by Sega and WayForward and plays sorta like Contra and Metroid (But not as in Turrican). You have saves and a Fire Emblem style lives system where any character that bits it is out for good. Its more Robotech than DBZ. You got a party of 4 Space Marines and when 1 bites it you continue where you left off. You have limited ammo but can collect more and get fully refilled at save rooms. You gradually get new abilities and weapons as the game goes on. Some parts are hard but can be beat as you can just go back to a past save. Running outta Ammo makes you use a 20 clip pistol and it does diddly to em. It can be beat easier by getting the bosses in a loop and some parts are not just straight up death matches. Its got a map system and several levels and solving minor puzzles to get through, usually by finding a new item to access it. There's backtracking but its not too big a map and it leads you to where you need to go. Its pretty good and I'm glad I played it. Great music and excellent Pixel Art as usual for WayForward.

Just beat Gley Lancer on Sega Genesis. Pretty good Shmup where you bite it in 1 hit and otta go back to a check point. You get maybe Unlimited Continues(I only had 4 falls)  I think and for power ups you get these Options around you that move in a Preprogrammed way determined when you start or continue. Using a life sends you back to a checkpoint but a Continue makes you restart a level. Its pretty good and you can change your speed and fire buttons in the options. Its pretty good and had nice music where the ending theme seems like an 80s anime and its got Anime Cutscenes that tell the story in Japanese. So learn Japanese ja Gaijin! I liked it and some parts were irritating but its not too tough, although I played on Easy. The difficulty levels only change how many hits foes take. Glad I played this. Its worth getting.

Just beat Little Nemo: The Dream Master on my NES collection. Its got 8 levels and the last one is super long and has multiple parts where if you run outta guys, its back to the start. You get unlimited continues and using 1 makes you restart the level but there's checkpoints sometimes. For most of the game you collect Keys to open a Door at the end. There's also a level select code so you don't gotta beat it in 1 go. You can't attack until the last level and can only throw candy to stun baddz but can feed it to some guys to maker em black out and you get on or in their body and use em for your needs. (What is this?! Roman Polanski?!) When using them you have their powers but many can't fight and you gotta use em to find the Keys or get to the end. Its pretty brutal. You get 3 hits but some guys you take over can let you have more. Only 1 power up guy lets you jump on guys. At the last level you get a Moon Scepter and can blast chargeable shots or swing with it. This game got me mad with all the cheap hits, 1 hit kills and needing to do these levels perfect to make it through. Esp the final one! Plus Nemo can't jump high or run fast and is useless much of the time. Its like doing a no weapon run on Ghouls n Ghosts! Its got good graphics and music but its pretty punishing. the infinite tries and level select make up for it and there's a good range of levels but you'll be pretty disgruntled after playing this. Glad i played it though an it can be beat in like an hour but it can be quite the ordeal..

Just beat Ariel The Little Mermaid on my 106 Game Gear games in 1 GBA cart. Its sorta like Ecco the Dolphin but not as Polished. 1 button is attack and 1 is an option thing where you use the D Pad to choose what to do. You get 3 helpers, The Crab who attacks, The Fish that moves rocks and a Sawfish that digs up treasure. You get cash by finding Treasure Chests and attacking Clams for their Pearls. Enemy's and Clams respawn even from Pausing and Unpausing, whch can be used to Farm cash. There's a shop to get more uses of thee Fish or stronger attacks or Keys or extra guys and biting it has you just continue ritght there with a new bar of life. Its only 4 levels and playing it on easy gives you more cash and uses of Fish to start with. You gotta save your devolved homies by touching em and after getting all of em, you face a boss that's just a war of Attrition. Its not too hard and can be beat in like 20 mins. Its got good graphics for Game Gear and the Music is fine. I liked it and if you wanna beat a simple game quick, this is a decent choice. Oh and there's a Map accessed by pausing and pressed a Button but it takes a sec to load.

Just beat Shatterhand on my 150 NES games in 1 GBA cart. Its by Jaleco and Natsume and has pretty god graphics, music and control. Its kinda like Castlevania but you punch stuff with your cyber arms (Did Mortal Kombat rip this off for Jax??) and collect Alpha and Beta letters (Did they rip off Robotech?!) until you get 3 and summon a little robot buddy who helps you fight (Did Voltage Fighter Gowcaizer rip this off with Shaia's homie BallBoy?). Depending on what order you collect em, you get a different attack for the robot. You get a few lives and unlimited continues and can take around 8 hits per life. You collect money and can spend it on platforms to power up attack until you take a hit, refill life, or get a free guy. There's 7 levels and after the 1st, you can do the next 5 in any order before the final one. The last one is a gauntlet with refighting a few bosses and only getting a checkpoint after beating the 3rd boss. If you get the same 3 Letters in the same order again while you still have your RoboBuddy, you get equipped with it for 15 seconds that  go faster when hit. Biting it makes you go back to a checkpoint but you take a while to finally go to H E Double Konami and once I bit it on a boss after finishing him and I won the level. The bosses ain't too hard once you know what to do and are easier with a BallBoy usually using 3 Beta Symbols. You can change the Symbols you find by punching

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Black Narcissus Review

 Note; spelling wrong is not a sin

Black Narcissus

this is my review on Black Narcissus from the distant future year (to jules verne) of 1947

it stars deborah kerr, sabu and jean simmons (not the kiss guy who looks liek tommy wiseau) and was directed by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger who did a bunch of films together

it won oscars and had great colors and effects and was based on a book i never read

i saw this b4 but not all the war from start to end

the leage of decency had issue with this for making Catholics look bad but after a fw edits, it was ok

so after opening credits we get calcutta in soviet india in a coonvent of nuns

they are teaching the 3rd world kids math and 1 nun is called to be thhe head of a new base and the youngest head nun there

also theres a englishman there whohas sent a letter explainign  she's going to a place in the mountains and it used to be a palace for a ruler for his women

also theres a chick there who caretakes it for years and theres constant wind

btw, there was a gay xxx of this called pink Narcissus from the 70s

so da ruler of the area tells his workers he invited nuns to make this place a school and hospital and monks tries doing it last year

ruler sez the europeans eat sausages all the time(is that racist?! what next? italianoes eating pizza?)

so the currest bases head nun tells the new places head nun  stuff and assigns her several nuns, including sister honey(like sister jill and honey kisaragi from cuteyy honey?!) and one nun is sick and is being sent there to recover

current head nun thinks new head nun isnt ready for it and then we see da nuns at the palace fixing it up and new patients for medical care and comin

also joseph anthony (jo an)  is the son of the rulers cook whos a translater and is 6 to 11 as his rents goot married 11 years ago and he's not sure

head nun uses jo an to inrerpret what the people say and she makes a registry

this working together with different guys to solve a problem reminds me of robotech ii the sintinels where cabel and the REF beat the invid persuer

head nun meets the englishman (now called britmo as its easier to spell) and they clash a bit

he sez the palace was known as the house of womena nd nun se its not the house of Saint Faith

later its night and sick nun is having issues and head nun chats  with another nun abotu all the cr-p going wrong with thsi place

also they are getting spots on their skin from something probably in da water

is this cabin fever?!

later these midget fata55 hoeses and the people work to get the place shipshape

if this were an 80s movie we'd get a monntage and a cool song

1 nun has issue with britmo working on plumbing in some pplace and they still got a lot to do to get it up

also the people are being paid to come here until it becomes a habit

then a nun comes in saying a chick was cut and hads bad bleeding and she stopped it

also theres a teen who the people wanna marry off whos acting out to avooid it

what is this? world vision maury?!

also shes got a nose ring and dresses light

just like maury teens

soo the nuns takke her in and give her work (like a slave!!!)

wait, wwhat year is this?

huh, its the 30s

before ghandi drove out the brits and the country massacred eachother for  worshipping the wrong gods

later head nun goes to da bell and its aat the edge of a mile high cliff

who designed this nuthouse?!

then 2 nuns talk and 1 is disgruntled about returning memories and feeling disenfranchised

bwaaaa! her hands are all f'd up!

later we see some dogs running around 

thenthis guy i think might be sabu comes over wanting to learn from them but they dont teach men, only women and he sez its not nice to men ad The Savior was a mam

so teen does a weird bollywood dance in this room and probably sabu comes in, they notice eCH other and she evebtually leaves

britmo worrues probably sabu will fall in love with teen and theres a holyman  sitting out by a tree and never speaking who's the rulers uncle

later 1 guy makes black narcissus which is a  cologne or perfume

then head nun has vviet namek flash backs  to her childhood aandxmas andgetting jewels for when she'dd marry andgoes out the door into the darkness to meet don

later probably sabbu is learning soviet french or something and sees teen under a table

then its Christmas and they sing Noel Noel and in the next song, head nun flash backs to going caroling

later Sabu is intetested in Jesus and head nun gets mad at britmo for being drunk or something

later sick nun i think isnt doing well and they want her to see a dr

head nun thinks shes getting obcessed with britmo and sick nun i think is going kinda nuts

good acting. she really seems unbalanced

later teen is getting the whip for stealing and when this hag who was there for a long time wants him to finish her beating he spares her

hay, just like the chick caught b0ning that guy who Jesus said "Let he who is without sin cast the 1st stone"

later sick nun is unhappy and feels she lost her way and the spirit of the order and this baby is fatally ill and they cant save it with 1930s tech

later jo an sez everyone fled cuz they think the nuns iced the baby

and probabbly sabu ran off wirh teen to live like amano and mimi in urotsukidoji; b0ning in lava

britmo sez once saomeone accidentally iced a kid and got eaten alive for it

he drank the medicine caster oil nun gave baby to proove its safe to the localls

later sick nun sees a nun annd britmo outsde and gets disgruntled

head nun tells britmi her bf ditched her forr America and she went nun o da rebound

and now her memories are returning and cant deal with it

britmo sez she gotta get out as something here intensifis things and sck nun i yhink watches creepily

is this a horror moviee?

later sic nun is out of her nun outfit and the lighting looks creepy

it looks more like an 80s movie than a 40s ones

shes wearing clothes though but has hair like the chick from candyman 01

so shes unbalanced andputs on lipstick and makke up and ants to ditch the order and fears she's be sent back

she locks the head nun in her room and runs around haing gone nuts

the other nuns search for her and head nn wants to have jo an (like jo jo in jojo's bizzare adventure) ask the holyman

sick nun comes onto britmo and he dont consent and when sick nun sez he loves head nun, he replies do dont love anyone and she snaps and sees red literally

after leaving we see her looking int da camera with stringy hair like the chick from the ring and its kinda freeky

eventually its daybreak and 1 nun in the chappel goes up to ring da bell and sick nun trys to shove her off

she gets bback on but sick nun falls andsplaters on the floor like a sack of chef boy ar dee

later da nunz are leaving and probably sabu returns to say sorry about b0ning that teen

soo head nun sezto britmo shes going to be demoted and go to another convent and asks him to look after sick nuns grave

when she looked back at the palace a cloud covered it witch means something but i' not 100% what

as they leacve the rains start and gget hard

the end

and in the scitrpt there was a scene where head nun is comforted by 2st base head nun but they thought the rain scene was a better ending

that was pretty good

great color, music, acting and flow

its not boring and dont drag and can be creepy at times

soome sites say this is a lust fillm but i didnt see anything like that

theres no sweariing or naked chicks or talk about crotches

then again its from the 40s so things were cleaner then

it looks great and has a good feel

yah the nuns have crushes on this guy but its not graphic

batman in the 90s on fox kids as more graphic and that was bada55

i likec this. it worked

for Black Narcissus 2 i want it to be the 70s and this paranormal explorers group go into the palace to find what it in causing the issues there. turns out; all the lust of the ruler and his girls summoned daemons and its haunted. and they gotta fight illussions and spirits while wearing psy armor to counter the ghosts. also its a 16 bit gamee like  splatterhouse or shinobi where you go through this decroding building and fiight monssters with various retro future tech on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba and atari jaguar.