Sunday, September 6, 2020

The Black Raven Review

 Note: I spell Blicketee Black

The Black Raven

This is mmy review on the black raven from the distant future year of 1943

i never saw it b4 but its on and only 61 mins so i might as well

it has geoege zucco, wanda mckay, noel madison annd other 1800s guys i never heard of

Its directed by Sam Newfiend who did I accude my parents, the lost continent, wolf dog and adventure island (not the nes game)

so after really 40s seeming openning credits that could fit in a 20s film, we see who plays who with clips from the film like in space balls

shouldnt this be at the end?

glenn strange? like steven strange from dr who?

so it starts withthis house in a storm that looks outta a 20ls sulent film and someones peeping in da window

a guy named whitey comes in with a gun andwants revenge for being sent to jail and the guy in the housethrowing him under the bus

andy comes back which makes whitey look and amos (house guy) takes him down and tie him up

oh amos is da black raven

is he an x man or xxx star?

soo whitey sez he'dd skip town and never come back but raven (not the emo kid from teen titans) wont take da chance

then a guy comes to da desk named mikey and wants to escape to soviet canada as he's into racketeering and needs da raven

raven chats with him and finds mikes homie timis selling him out to get his stuff and mikey wants to return when the heats down

meanwhile a glasses guy in a car wants to get outta town anda moustache guy sezthe bridge is out and sends him to a hotel called da black raven to spend da night

tthen another car comes by with a couple whowantts to go to soviet canada to escape her dad and get married

if this were made today they'd be queer or b0ning

so glasses comes by the hotel and whitey knox his breef case open and its full of cash

then the living, human, straight, adult, opposite fammily samme age couple comes by and whitey sez hes gonna stay when da butler offers to get him out

so mikey chats with a guy, the raven i think and 1 guy is famillier with raven

whitey gets out and raven sez too his butler or gardener or w/e to find him

the couples dad comes by and tells bf to not marry his daughter and smacks him and wants him arrested for kisdnapping

is his daughter underaged or somethimg?

i mean in dbgt pan was 15 and truunks was 25

andd in sailor moon serena was14 and darien was in his mid 20s

and in robotech dana was 15 and that guy she b00ned was 25

and in yugioh joey is 16 and mai is 24

and in cardcaptors aiden was 25 and natasha was 16

what is with japan and teens and adults?!

so dad trys to call da cops the da phone f's out

gf tells dad she knows where he gets his cash and he blames the bf for turning her against him

holy cr-p we're like 30mins in with adds

later glasses notices someone trying to brea into his room and tells da raven who se da doorz locked and knows glasses from soewhere

he takes off his glassesa nd realizes hes the missing bank teller who sez this stolen cash is his only chance to live his deam and he wont turn it over

he gets glasses to give him da cash or face a trial for embezelmesnt

in da basement da gardner or w/e gets caught in clothesline and spazzes out at a window blowing open

later a guy finds a corpse and spazzes out and tells the raven who chex it out

then they find gf who was trapped in a room

oh her dad got it

she chex it out and bf comforts her

later, mikey confronts raven and sez it was dad who took the glasse's dough (i f'd up tryping this) and wants to know where the cash uis at gunpoint

so a cop comes by looking like a cowboy and checks da corpse andd grills the suspects

so mikey sez he knows da cash is around here and later glasses accidentally pushes gardner down da staits

cop thinks bf iced da dad and raven plays word games witth cop to see if he really knows

gardneer asks mikey if he iced da dad and mikey slugs him

bf escapes and hides and raven checks a stool probably used to bust in da dads head

in da raina guy fights someone and i thik 1 is da gardener who wacks the other

gf thinks she heard a gunshot annd raven sez its thunder

mikey shoves  glasses and gardner in da basement and lox em in

so mikey tties up raven annd gf and searches da place for a cas as cop gets up from the beating in da rain (oh he fought da gy)

glasses and gardener try to break outta da basement and bf is in there 2

cop opens da basement annd frees em and takes into custody bf

raven has untied himself and gf

later a guy gets capped and da killer escapes out a window

the cast gathers and find the body and cop sez that bullet was meant for him

so raven confronts glasses over wacking dad and a guy shoots at then so raven caps him

oh it was whitey he capped

glasses admits he iced dad and threw the cash out the window

the raven bites it from being capped from witey

the end

after da credits is an add for War Bonds which I'm glad they keppt in this print as its like watching a vhs from da 90s and seeing all da adds

that was pretty good

i think mikey got it in the part when they found da last body and it was whity or glasses who capped him

that was pretty good though

nice b/w full screen calm cool style

good feel

good acting, writing and music

good mystery and suspecnce an unexpected resolution

it holds up and isnt too long

sorta like th bat whispers but more basic and simple

i liked it and thought ts a decent40s movie

for the black raven 2 i want the couple from the 1st movie to have not gone to canadda and stayed in Freedomland USA and its now the 60s and the beatles music is turning kids into junkies and degenerates. they raised their kids rigt and as they prayed away the evil, they can purify others from the evil music by using holy words at them. its also a 2 player 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16,atari jaguar and gba where you play as either the bro or sister or both and instead of using your fists, you use holy woeds at them to drive out the evil beatles music and woek your way to woodstock to stop the demon woorshipping bands from devolving the youth into deviants. in the final round, at woodstok, the bands are revealed to be daemon worshippers and they sacrifice themselves to summon a big phallllic daemon and you gotta send it back to H E Double England!

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