Monday, September 14, 2020

The Theory Of Everything Review

 Noyte: I spell good in tthewroy

the theroy of everything

this is my review on the theory of everything ffrom 2014 (tthe yyear the 1st robotech war ended kinda)

its firected buy james marsh who didd shadow dancer (not the sega game) and king of theives(not the aladdin disney movie) and statrs eddy redmaye, harry lloyd (not the silent film star), and da "voice" of steven halking

its based on the true story of the nrerd who was on the simpsons and big bang theory

eddie got the ooscar for this and beat michael keaton

they usually give it to handicapped playing actors

I cant believe that brit playing that wheelcrair nerd beat Michael keaton

all he did was sit in a chair and drool for 3 hours

I wouldn't be surprised if some guy wins an oskar for sitting in a couch and j-rkin off for the whole movie

i saw this once b4 and thought it was pretty good

so after a whole min of logos we get the title and flash back to soviet england and these nerds racing bikes

they look like harry potter on their a55 brooms

they go to a bar and his buddy sez "what if the secrets of da universe have to do with secks"

sounds like daemonismn as lust attracts ddaemons and is used it their summoning lituals

so steve mmeets a girl and sez hes a cosmologist and thiest but shes in the curch of soviet england

the cult started by kiing henry as he OJ'ed his wives

they grow closer and she gves him hee number

then he has a quiz or assignment and its gonna be hard

then he's in a rowing team and is a megaphone at the a55 end yelling when to hpaddle

then hes at a bar and meets gf but later at his dorm chats with buddy abbout how he's not done any work on his assignment

after buddy leaves he gets to work on it

he later meets a teacher about how he hasnt choses a subject too do his paper on and shows him the hall of honor where the guys from this school who di good cr- are honored

later gf  gors to steves fams for dinner ans sez she's studdying mmidevil poetds and french//spanish

that's not far off of gender studies in usefulness

mcomic boog guy; i have a mastersdegree in folklore and mythology!

so steve invidtes her to the school dance and at there sez he dont ddance

is that a dark joke?!

also he talx abouyt how stars give u v light and latr they dance in the street lights

man that was 20 mins?

so later hes learning about black hooles (thats racist!!) and how time/space stop in there as things crush

if neil degrasse tyson did p0rn0, he;d be known as; the black hole!

so hes got a theroy about da universe getting smaller and works on stuff about the universe beginnig

spoiler: The Bible sez how it began, 6000 years ago.

there's lots of proof out there

so he cruunches da numbers and later trips and falls on his face

they do tests and he's crippling out and they find his body is f--king out and he's got 2 years to live

he tells his buddy and gets bumme out for like 10 mins of screen time and when his woman comes by he trys to keep her away

she's gay for him and kisses him on his mouth and cheers his a55 up

so later he's cripplingg out and hiss gf is told to ditch him as he's going too h-ll soon

ahe dont care and has hope

so they get married even though he's a deniar of The Lord and marriage is a sacriment between man and wife and Him

Its like an Anti Semite wanting a Barmitzva

they poop out a did and he's cerippling out worse and has a meeting with the staff about his theory of a black hole being the beginning of time

they like it annd he wants to prove it with an equation

but thats just workig on paper

the real stuff might be different

look at myth busters how they test stuff on paper and it still don't work wnen done in real life

if everything that worked on paper worked in real life, communist countrires wouldsn't have killed hundreds of millions

later at a dinner e can't go up stairs as he's too criuppled and sees his son

eventually he uses a wheel chaiir like the american adaptatoon wanted one of the sailor scouts to use

so later he;s  got an idea andis brought to school to give a speechto a class about his blacj hhole theoory how it goes from nothing to nothing

the school guys this iits sh-t and1 soviiet seeing guy stands up for him saying its real

latter his buddy helps carry him and asks if it affects his b0ner and he sez no with an austin powers grin

so he gets a book made or something annd gets an electric wheel chair (like an electric chair for cripples?) and has 2 kids bow who are grade schoolers

later he  sez he bet a guy a years subscription to a magaZINE if he wins

the maggazune was penthouse (who funded urotsukidoji)

he IS austin powers!

later theres a guardan party and steven is choaking on phlegm but dint want a ddoctorrbb

his woman is unhappy that his cripplaing is f ing da fammiily and needs hekp

if they had slaves it would be easier on everyone

later she goes to Church and OH FF!!  Shes in the Curch of england! Just like  Alexander in Clockwotrk Orange!!

later aa  church guy comes by andsteven sez his new theroy is the universe has no behinnig or creator

and his wooman aggrees

wait, I think she supports Creation and steve  keeps takking shots at The Lord

Foor someone who debies His existance, he sure hates Him

so church guy chats with steven universe (is that where they got it?!) and after he goes steven sez he  consewnts to her getting help

later gf sez to church guy she's pregnant and later deals with church guy that they have feeling for each other and he walks off

so she gos camping with church guy and the kids and later they see a thing in a church with steven carried in

wait, i think both are happpening at the same time

at the show, steven starts choaking and the woman he's with helps him out

is this where clockwork orange got the big strong guy carrying the crippled guy around from?

they should have got a female body builder to carry his dead a55 around

so they get him to a dr and he sez if they save him, he wont talk anymore

rather than giving up cuz something fall off, she tells da dr to save him

imagine if she sed; no voice? not worth it! and had him put to sleep?

thats what the writer ofn field of dreams did

he gave up on livfe and went to a dr in soviet canada and was executed

so she sez bye to church guy and the drss operate on his nck and put a hole in it

she gets a board with colords and letters that she blinks when she says a color and narrows the choices down from there

so she gets a new nurse and i think he's gay fro her

later they make a device to do the alephebet scanning thing into a computer to read the words

but the voice is American according to the woman and they want anohtert one (thats racist)

but its the only voice they got and now he can fake having a soul instead of being a brit mo

so then he writes a book on time and later this chick, i think da nurse, shows him the penthouse magazine and i assume they b0ned

they grow closer and this is kinda awful as his wife  devoted her life  to him even when he got crippled and was thought to bite it, and he  betrays her for some 5kank who wipes his a55

what a sleaze

so he tells his wifehe's going to America with nurse for another award and she knows he's dumping her

she otta bite off his parts

breaking up with a loyal woman for some 55kank annd leaving her with the kids

i guess he IS a rapper

look up M C Hawking

so later in Soviet America he  goes  up to he honored and does Q/A with jokes

when asked if he has a philosophy to help him when not beliving ion Te Lord, he  gets out of his chair,walks down, and picks up a pencil of a  blonde

ut its just a phantasy

what is this? Pearl Harbor  where Dead |A55 F DR stands up??!!

he replies with tthat tthere should be no boundaryies to humaanss or the universe

sounds like the ggarden of Eden or Sodom annd Gomorrah

then he sez; where there's life, there's hope

the 1st smart thing ii heard from him

later the regent queen of soviet england gives him an award annd his real wie is there to help him adter he dumped her

he sez "look what we made" about the kids  she pooped out and then the film goes backwards rewind unti8l he meets his gf

then text i cannt read  saying where tey are now as its widescreen and HD and I have a REAL TV niot those cr--ppy a55 flatscreen ones that f==ks out after 4 years  and costs 500 $

the end

that was pretty good

well acted, directed and made

nice and mild and not too awful

not much swearing i can recall and only a few ppenthouse pix tio make ut pg113

it shows how aqful the hawkman was and how he rose to become the most popular nerd ever

i enjoyed it but it didnt blow me away

for the theory of everything 2 i want his budy to come back and reveal he's mastered the black arts and can use is occult powers to heal him. steve dont buy it but goes with it to shut him up and regains his ability at the cost ogf his soul. using this, he uses his celebrity to spread the word that demon rituals are real and gets people on board. But if demomns are real, then so is The Lord and the holy take him on in a series o rouds where he attacks with his devolving body of bone extensionn and fleshy tentacles and they useholy words to fight him. after he is beat down he retreats and you gotta hunt him down  to purge the evil whilr daling with his enslavved mintions. its also a 16 bit top down action game like cruader of centy on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as a big beefy chick who fights with hooly words and not fists to blast the evil outta pelople

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