Wednesday, March 30, 2022

The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? Review

 Note: I sp[ell bad, but not aads bad as animation has devolved since thius film was made

The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love?

This is my revcireew on The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? from the distabnt future year of 1984 (20 years begfotre Robotech Return To Macross)

Its a condensed version of the shgow that is best known as Season 1 of Robotech

There were issues between the Japanese companies over who owned Macross so Harmony Gold whoi made Robotech had to stop any Macross things for legal issues

But out of f-=king nowhere; The Japanese companiesresolved their sh=-t in the 20s and agreed to let Macross happen outside Japan and Bootlegs

Soi this was dirrected by Shoji Kawamori who did mostly Macroiss things, and Noboru Ishiguro who did the 86 Robotech Movie/Megazone 23 and Locke the Superman

In the canon of Macross, this is actrually an In Universe Movie Retelling of the events of the war, kinda like how in Battletech, the 90s Saban Cartoon is Canonically a show in the BattleTech Universe

It stars Mika Moi from Sailor Moon, Wedding Peach and Angel Cop, Akira Kamiya from Hokuto No Ken and DBZ, Eiji Kanie from Hokuto No Ken, Hiromi Tsuru from DBGT aand Violence Jack, Hirotaka Suzuoki from Saint Seiya and Urotsukidoji, Run Sasaki from Sailor Moon, Ryusuke Obayashi from Jungle De Ikou, Sanae Miyuki from Transsformers Super God Masterforce, Sho Hayami from New Cutey Honey, Devilman and Voltage Fighter Gowcaizer, Ikuya Sawaki from Japanese 80s Transfprmers, Baoh, Saint Seiya and Sakuigake!! Otokojuku, Kenyu Horiuchi from Violence Jack and The R=pe Man, Nobuo Tobita rom G Gundam and Beyyblade Burst(More like,m BUTT BURST!!), Shigeru Nakahara from Gundam Wing and DBGT, Tomomichi Nishimura from Bleach, 80s Transformers and Genocyber, Yoshio Kawai from G Gundam and SentaI, and a buncha others in stuff I never saw

I saw thgis b4 and liked it and this got good reception

Its ALL animated by hand drawn work, frame by frame and looks epic

Nowadays animatyion is done on computer and look like a55!

So after the Toko Logo we get te Zentraedi looking At stuff from the humans and talking of how their troops who got near the humans sdtopped fighting

then we see the SDF1 appearing in the blacmness of spsace and title

its got amazing detailed art and animation and has true effort put into it

So this pilot goes off in a space fighter on recon and in the space ship is a city with robots abnd cxars in it 

btw this is widescreen but it hS GREAT COLOR

so this singer lynn minmei is singing an early 80s song in a concert and its her 1st

5 months ago the ship left the earty but shes trying to help by giving them fuin, kinda lie Stan Lee making comics insatead of a bummer novel like east of eden, aka caiin and abel gx

so minmei sings an 80s song with holograms but the ship gives a warning that the ship is gonna transform and theyt have 3 mins toio get to a shelter

hikaru is the leader of skull squad andis in a battle with the zentraedi with missiles taking out troops

hikaru is uneasy and their sips can transform too robot mode

max is the ace of the team and he kicks a55, so hikaru  and his homeboy ropy take on the foe

a ship has space folded in the area and wait, its several, annd the ship is gonnas nuke the areA

HIKARU defends the bridge of trhe sdf1 but gets b--ched at by misa for not being in the battle or w/e

HokAru goes after the enemies that got in the ship against misas orders and as the enemies who got in are shocked to see males and females together in the same place

a maN AND A wo man? is this protocunture?!

So Minmei and her manager/cousin/bf is split from her as a wall comes up between em  as the ship transforms

A Zentraedi trys to grab Minmei but Hikaru takes it out and the artificial gravity gets damaged so she fallsbut Hikaru saves her after an epic and well animated scene

he winds up caught in the ships inner area and it closes off and the ship fires its main cannon and takes out ther enemy ship

In the ship wall he fuinds he saved the poip star minmei and he's a fan of hers and she signs a thing for bim

they are sealed in and can't commumicate with the outside as his radio is f'd and the wall  is hyper carbon

minmei is glad she has some time off and the ship takes off from the moon titan;s orbit so grabity goes and hikaru accidentally grabs her left b00b like its a go nagai anime

he teaches her how toi fly in 0 g like with gohan and pans mom and she shows off her shiny dress

they go through and find food and a minemi doll and a coke machine and we getta montage to minmeis soing of them doung things like minmei taking a shower and them living together but not in sin

if go nagai or the berserk guy did this they'df be b0ning

meanwhile the zentraerdi see males and femalkes live in the same area and are diustrubed as their ancent rules say "don't f with small people"

also trhe zentrasdie find a minmei doll playing her love song and are soi unused to anything romantic or non warrior related, they freak lut

so on the ship the skiull squad wonder if hikaru is dead and you i mean roy listens to misa and his gf claudia talking about work and boys or something

misa remembers her bf from years ago when she was ike 12 or something and in the wallsl; mimnmehi tlels how she works hard cuz her fam told her to, then left home to come here and wonders if her  rents are ok as they are on earth

theres no word from earth as the official story is theres radio jamming but in reality; it got gang nuked

hiklaru asks if shes with her co star but she sez its just made up by publishers and the love scene was not real

so the gocv and the media tell lies? does the corporations kniow?!

she shows how good an asctor she is and does a lovey romance thiung talk and smooches him

btw; the wearth wrecked and people in space facing aliens by titan?

is this wherte Don Bluth got Titan AE?

so as they smooch, the wall opens and the paparazzi sees aema dn get photos

imagine if toshiuo maeda wrote this and they were 0 g b0ning?

Hikaru gets his a55 busted by Misa for insubbordination and if this were made by an H animne artist, she'd make him do SM

Hikarus Homies think he's b0ning minmei and go all 80s guy on him but he denies it

as they think a guy being in the same place with someone for 3 days means they must have been b0ning

like how yaoi fangirls pair F--KING EVERYONE up!

Roy and Ed in fma? Huck and Jim in Huckleberry Fuinn? Jack and Yusei and STardssucty DRagon in Yugioh 5Ds?

if anyone has anything in common; these nuts pair em up!

How about as Goku's rival floved his son and turned good, why not continue it and have Pan fall in love with GArlic Jr?!

so the people gossip about minmei abnnd hikaru and minmei dont like it

in a bar hokarui brings the charts for woprk to roy with his gf and misa and roydriinks and gives misa advice on being a woman and hgokaru mAN advise

thewm smooches his openmly black gf and is either making out or b0ning her as its offfscreen

nowadays they'ds call Roy "Toxic" and normal people would say in a devolved voice "TOXXXXXX ICCCCCCCC! TYOXXXXXXXX! IIIIIIIIIIIIC!" TO MOCK THEM

So Hokaru gets a call saying theres a sick family guy and he goos oof but really goes tio meet minmei in disguise

Thet go on a date night to hang out in town at night and 1 part is hologram outfits and thet are evbentuallly wearing wedding clothes

they almost go to a motel to b0nbe but dont

if this was tenjho tenge manga, they would

later they are looking at the space sky and see the saturn planet, so rick i mean hikaru sneaks out with her on an unreggulasted flight in his mech and he goes throuigh its ring and makes a rainbow ring from the dust

meanwhile, the zentraedi arte sent by their coimmander to catch some humans  and the females might try to get em 1st

meanwhile; hikaru is  going through saturns atmosphere  as a minmei siong plays in montage and it sounds kinda 70s/60s

but then minmeis bro/manager/cousin/bf comes on the skype and so does misa to say "come back! this is bad for ytour careers!"

hoikaru is gonna go back for his punishment, which in starshop trioopers is a whipping, but ebnemy mechs attack and hikaru is in a traiuning plane

hikARU HAS NO WQEAPONSD SO rOY COMES IN DRUNK AS A SKUNK  and fires missiles to tajke out enemy mecvhjs

3 mechs ggrabv hikarus jet and bruing him iun to their base but Roy coimes in and finds himself at gunpoint by a buncha zentraedi

he makes like Sheena in Contra Hard Corps and surrenders and Roy, Misa, Minmei, her bro, and Hokaru are caught and put in a glass gar

A big Zentraedi pulls out a magnifying glass and uses focused light to burn a light beam through minmeios bros torso as he screams and tries to esacape, but catches fire annd pops like corn!

jk really they are asked why men and women coexist anmd why they are small

misa sez thety are born small and the zentraedi dont now about breeding as they are geneytically enmgeneered and grown in labs

Roy sez males and females cooperate to make new life and the zenttraedi dont now why men and women dont fight

roy sahows them whaty a hig is bu hugging minmei and ;like grade school boys;l they find it gross

roy mentions kissing and they take minmei histage to make thenm kiss

minmeis bro volunteers and smooches minmei and its not consensual like luke and leia in star wars or the platinic twins in voltage fighter gowcaizer

so minewi and her bropther and taken away and the 3  militaruy guts are lead elsewhere and the zentraedi are shot iup by enemy females and take the trio

wait, they get away and get to their jets but a buncha enemies come for em

hikaru goes like drahgon ball with pulling off bulmas top to get roshi to nosebleed on the invisible guy, or mazinkaiser with koji shjowqing sayaka's nips to stun the guards, and snmooches misa to shock the zenttraedi and buy time for tthem to get in the mechs

then zentraedi chicks co,me in and wadte the sioldiers, obnly for a battle to brwak ouit

miriyA IS THE GEMALE ACE AND WASTES THEM EASY and stomps 1's head in a bloodspray they would never do today cuz anime is candyt a55 now

roy comes out ann his mechs head is busted but hikaru draws his attention sdo roy takes out his mech

roy gets shot up and the zentraedi comes out of his busted mech and beats in the mech to morrtallly wound roy, but roy uses his gun to take out the zewntraedi and let hikaru and misa go after minmei

Hikarui gets to minmei but the sjjhip starts to space fold out, but an enemy female attack blows open the ship andand hikarus mech is sucked out as it folds off to another plasce

hikaru winds up on a desert planey with just misa and hikaru had given up after roy got it and minmei'ss gone

mina i mean misa takees coimntro, but is bad aat flying and they land in the sand

then they see it: a  ruined battleship!

This is earth!

at least they didn't have to deal with chimpeople and get lobotomized like with charlton heston

so the zentraedi have minmei and her brother and took them to their base and minmei sings as its all she can do

oh she sings of cinderella and the battleship is yhe aircraft carrier that was an arm on the SDF1 in the sdhow

Hikaru and Misa collect canned food from the ship and the zentraedio call the suinging protroculture that is creative activitry without fighting

but their creators told them to never deal with culture of protoculture as its  powerfuil and can unite males and females

so all the head zentraedi has left of the original culture that made them is a metal plaquiue that they want mimnmei to tell em of

imagine if this was done by masami ohbari and they made minmei show them how to breed with her brother?

What if in Robotech Season 2 when the Robotech Masters captured the 15th Squadron they force em to show them how breeding works as the Masters are all clones? Blonde curvy Dana has to breed with shy black guy Bowie and White Ladies man Sean. Dana: Who knew Bowie has a footlong! and Sean... No wonder he couldn't keep a gf. Tinky Winky!!

So misa and hikari go artound eearth and find no survivors and misa breaks down and being one of the last people on the planet like with Noah and his kids and their wifes

later in a tenty in ther rain, misa has given up as the earth is empty like in dbz after buu and she's getting sick and hikaru treats her

misa sez roy told her his fam is in h e double soviet england and she thought she'd be a brave soldier but now is bummed out

she realizes the cloth on her head is his minmeu autograph and she sees the error of her ways and eats

so later its day and trhey fluy over the sea and find this building in the sea likethe tower of babel in metropolis and its an alien space craft made for those human saized

its got a foild system commuinication and misa triss it but it dont work

then a ligh show a hologram anbd miusa understands it a buit and its a space emmigratiopn vessel central computer

she talks to it and it mentions genetic masnipulation and man aND WO MAN ZENTRAREDi images and human images

then turns off and uses its energy to raise the buolding

then we learn long ago was a glactic civilization (or confederacy?) called protoculture but they learned how to breed wiuth only 1 gender and split men from woman and war happened

So they made giant soldiers just to fight but things went too far and they started over with men/weomen together by going to Earth to make Human Amncestors

But 20 000 years ago the giants fighting reached this solar sysatem so the Protoculture sank the city to hide it, but now its up as the computer mistook the zentraedi attack as the protocultrure return

Btw: I watch nba lot of Bible Shows and Ancient Aliens, so this kinda checks out

In  Robotech II The Senmtinils: The Zentraedi were genetically engineered Giants made by the Masters to dig for Magnetic Monopole Ore on this giant planet

and there's legends of the Anunakki being Giants that made people to dig for Gold on Earth from Ancient Aliens.

Also. in 1 ep of Robotech: The Earth is gang attacked by Alien ships that wipe out much of the life on Earth, but later it grows back, similar to Noah's Flood.

In Robotech II The Sentinels: The Masters leave the planet to find the Protoculture Matrix and leave the old and sick behind on their home world, like when the Israelites were taken to Babylon and those left behind were old and not fit for battle.

So misqa finds a metal thing thar say Do You Rewmember somwething but its more complex than the zentraedi words she can somwehow read

Misa finds a sink and does dishes in sea water and hikaru looksa around and finmds nothing but busted machines

misa puts plates out fior dinner to loving musdic and its really nicre as thet pretebnd to have dinnwr

misa misses her droogsa and hikaru comforts her and they kiss to 80s heart music orchestral

in the real version thety b0ned

oh f, the next scene is misa zipping up her cxoat, thety DID b0ne!

so later the SDF1 is there as misAs message reacghed em and they tell the captain what they found on earth

also trhey tell roys gf he was brave and shes gglad

on the ship minme songs and videos playy and hikaru thinks on how its only been a 1 month since he took minmei ou but it feels like longer

also mstr of minmeis songs are fiull of englishg words

but the female aliens come and want the culkture i the protoculture ruins

hikaru and friends go out to fight em and his wingman gets taken out easy

max fight milia and its an epic battle over the cuity and into an enemy ship witgh a cxlose xombat fight that wiinds up in the dark

tthe female ship fires a blast and takes out the cannons on the SDF1 and things look f;';d

but then minmeis singing plays and the females stop fighting

max sees milia out of her armor and bnoth are too busted up to fight but max finds her hot as i guerss hes into giantress

the male zentraedi show  up and are playing minmeis song so tyhe females warp away with max on their ship

they want peace talks with the earth people and agree to a truce

the captauiin of the sdf 1 tells of thge protoculture abnd how huymans and zentraedi were both the product of ancient aliens genetic cr-p anbd the zentraedi can shrink ti human dsize with tech

Minmei taught the zentraedi more of her culture and minmei is on the sdf 1 and sings a song form the proityoculture plate with new words as tbney can't read the original language to make peace with the women

wait, they are still wrtitying the words and misa and hgikaru go out to greet minmei and minmei sheds a tear and runs to him with a hug

but thuis caiuses issues with misa and minbmei didnt knwo the month she spent with misa i i mean he spent

later misa reads the words on this plate they found on the ship and its the words to the song from the zentraeri plate

sher translates it but at himarus place; minmei comes onto hikaru ands sez she loves him 

misa comes to hikarus place and finds minmei huggeing him from behind, which isn't b0ning unless she has a ding s0ng

she gives them the words to tyhe song but is bummed thinking hikaru likes minmei more, but when hikaru sez its a misunderstanding, minmei runbs out

misa sez to go after her but hikaru sez when he saw minmei after returning he realized he wants misa

i mean i like misa more, but minmeis a bimbo and those are good

so they hug but the enemy attacks and hukaru goes to bring the words to minmei but shes not know where she is

the females are attacking and this huge enemy base space folds in so without minmei, they gotta fight

the enemy ships all blast the earth and it takes out the protoculture island as the sdf1 ghoes to space

hikaru runs around and fiunds minmei and wantrs her to sing the song but she dont wanna as its from misa

the head zentraedi fires his death ray and wipes out many of his fleet to take out the head female ship

minmei has given uip and sez if they are gonna bite it, they might as well stay here

hikaru sez to fight fort the other people on the ship and minmei dont care about them so hikaru slaps her and sez roy and the fat guy got it b4 doing theirt best ideas

the batttle goes on and minmei finallyt gets it and sez sorry and is cheerful after being slapped and agrees to sing\

wqe then get her singing this 80s song, as i guess ancient protoculture is into 80s music

tyhe aliens stop to listen to it and 1 says he fdfeel;s like he heard it long ago

his homie sez itys something priogrtammeed in their genes and the sdf 1 is taking hits, inclusding 1 guys head coming off

the main 2 zentraedi, who are totally not r2d2 and c3po, tyeram with the sdf1 and turn on their leader with their troops to protect the protoculture

also max was enbiggened and now drives an alisen mech

so the sdf1 plows through miles of metal and rock and gets to the leaders chamber\

hikaruy flies in on his mechna nd blasts him in the face a bunch and the enemy base ship starts spazzing out and blows

btw the sdf1 could totally beat the death star from star wars

so the battle is over and we get that 80s violin msuic

the zentraedi say theres 1000 fleets across the galaxy each withh a master ship like the one they just did

but as minmeis song solved this, maybe it will soove those

misa sez the song was just a popular song from thousands of years agothen minmei starts counting up to 4 and tapping her foot and then we get creditys to 80s music

the end

that was quite good

it had heart asnd life and feels

most movies todasy look like a55 but this was great

plus star trek beyond stone tthe idea of "use past music to f with the enemy fleet"

the story is good, the music is wobderful and the animation is epic

a true classic and can only be done in the 80s when people cared about quaoity

now its all done on computers and is without life or soul

the acting waS GREAT as in Japan they actually try and go all out for voice work

Plus the story is like something outta Ancient Aliens on The History Channel

For The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? 2 I want them tro make contaCT WITH a group arriving clsaiiming to be the Protoculture but it says it wants them to return to their past wars and that men/women were a mistake, wait, it really wants them to fuse men anbnd woimen together into a milti limbed hermaphrodite creature, but its revealed its actually a space daemon who goes around ruining planets by destroying the people with lies, and the unfused have to fight them. also its a 32//64 bit flying and shooting game on playstation 1, sega saturn, nb64 and 3ds where you play as eith a human or zentraedi ands fight the space enemy

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Colt 45 Review

 Note: I spell like President 45!

Colt 45

This is my revirew for Colt 45 from 1950(60 years before the 1st Robotech War)

its directed by Edwin L. Marin who did Abilene Town and nothing else i ever saw

it stars randoolf scott, Ruth Roman from The Baby, Zachary Scott froim Thr Southerner and Mildred P{ierce, Lloyd Bridges from Jane Austen's Mafia!, Alan Hale 1 from The Adventures of Robin Hood, Ian MacDonald from Apache, Chief Thundercloud and Walter Coy from The Searchers, abnd some WW1 born homies I never heard of

it inspired the series colt 45 that i never saw and i never saw this b4 but my dad likes westerns and i wanted to review something

So it starttts after titakle and crediys, waiut wtf, zachgary scott? i thought it was randolf!

so we get text sating a gun is a tool and can be used for good or bad

thena guy is doing a sales pitch for the colt repeating pistol that helped America beat Soviert Mexico

this seller is a guy who was saved by his firearm as his group was ambushed

a guy in jail sez he wants one to break out as a colt is 6 shots instead of 1

plus you can do russian roulette

so sherrif lets out jailguy to send him out ANDS JAIL GUY GETS A GUN AND another gun and shoots his way out after capping sherrif

the people thing i mean think the seller was in on it with jailo so thesy lock him up

so using this experimental new weapoin, the jailo goes around wasting and staeling things and guys

why not just have a sniper by town and when he fies, they j fk him?

so new sherruf lets out seller as the judfge made him and has poster s on seller thinking hes part of it

the jeailo is wanted for 5000$ and seller weants to hunt down the him and get his guns back

so after a montage the seller hears hunshots and finds an intdian guy who some guys attcked

jailo was there and has his crew going around dressed as indians toi cover their acxtys and planted a real one to take the heat

kinda like the Boston Tea Party

the indian tells main guy seller that the indians coming are actually white like with trudeau and blaming his kind for their actions

mean guy sends indian on main guys horse back to warn his guys and main guy hides as a coach goers by

he jumpos on and tells em to speed through and gets in the coach weith a chick in thertes hes prtobably gonna fall in lovew wioth

jailo sez his wife is on board the coach and sends the attck and main guy seller defends them with firearms

she trys to stop him from capping jailo and the driver gets hit so eventually the coach gets off too far and the bad guys let it go

seller clibs out on a moving coach and stops the horses with gerabbing the reins

a horse golloes i mean follows and main guy wants to turn in the chick as shes in on the bad guys thing and she escxapes on the following horse

so bad guy goes to his base where he has a guy hostage there and his wife is something and this guy played by lloyd bridges dont like workng for bad guy and was a miner

wait, hes part of it and his woman dont know as he dont ewwant her to and thinks he's the hoisotage

chick comes by and lloyd hides ans she sez she dont kknow what the main guy was about

he smooches her with out consent and she dont like it cuz hes gross and probably had aids and she lets her see lloyd

she wants to get help but he sez if she tried then he'd get bcapped

So mnain guy gets the cart coach in to town and gets the driver help and the people worry about the indians

main guy ssez its the wanted guy who had i mean has a pair of colt 45s and the townies dont wanna mess with him

main guy offers to be a deputy to this sherrif who i think is alan hale 1 and is accepted

at base, bad guy wants to know who the guy on the coach was with the 45s and sherrif comes by and sez its the guy who had the guns that is on the coach and wants em back

sherrif wants ro be in charge and not the soldfier if hes gonnas give bad guy the colt seller and beats down the bad guy and gets his guns

but lloyd throws a chair at him and they beat him down, before bad guy pistol whips him

sherrif sez seller is his deptuyry and bad guy sends him to get bad guy i mean main guy , they punches him on the way out

also the minion tyrying to overtake the main bad guy and geting his a55 kicked was done in transformers with megatron and starscream

so later seller is out at night and indiann comes by and likes him for hel;ling him and brings backj his horse

also hes got his crew with him and wants to avenge his3 indians who were iced by whites, so hes gonna murder 3 whites

thatsn not fair, the 3 he killes were innocent

2 wrtongs dont make a right

so main guy tlaks him into not doing that and inidan sez he has a few days

sherrif comes back andmain guy asks about the couple in the mine and the mrs was on the coach

sherrif dont wanna let main guy guo there wait he dont wanna go there and thennext day he sends main guy there

so bad guy sez an extra clip for the guy who naiuls main guy, which i'm not sure how they'd tell whos bullets was the kill shot

they attack but the indians come out and scare off bad guys and take out 1 of em

they catch a few guys and the indian wants to use his ways to make em talk, which i assume means b0ning it outta em, but main guy brings em back to town

lloyd comes by sherrifs place to talk and main guybrings the caught guys in and the people are glad someones cleaning up crime

the toen wants to string em up but main guy wants a fair trial as hes an american and everyone is innocent until proven guilty

the caught guys arte locked up and sherrif is uneasy

so lloyd comes back to base and chick sees and lloyd ewarns the gang their men are gonna get lynched

shes wearing pants? in the 12800s i measn 1800s!?

so she listens in on lloyd telling how he wants to be in this thing and finds out he's working with the bad guys

she turns on him and her tries to get her to join him and she leaves his a55

the lloyd harold catches her and puts her in this shed, like the cabin in the birth of a nation

sher gets him to guive her a matches as its the dark in there and cyberdarknewss drtagon in attack mode equipped with 5 got drtagon

the bads leave and she usaes gunpowder on the door to macguyver a door blowing thing under sanfbags

she gets out and rides off and then theres a trial but the bad guy comes in and caps the witnesses

he sezinmean bad guy sez main guy is the real bad guy and they take his guns and are gonna sting up main guy

chick comes by but loyd caps ghher and main guy in the chaos control punches his way out, gets on a horses a55, and gets her as he rides out

oh and i think the indians were in on it

they town is gonna atttack the indians and lloyd is bummed he had to cap his woman

in the camp the indians treat the chicks bullet hole and main guy talks witrh her about how bad guy wantrs to take over the town and she thought her husband was their captive but is really a partner

she wants bad guy to be iced and main guy wants to end his reign andf take back his guns

the indians tell trhem to stay quiet as the townsmen are in here and main guy sez shewrrif is in on the thing

the head indian sez for them to go and sherrif sez hes gonna send a group to level the town

but the constitution protects agains gov search and seizure

they need a warrent to come in and check or the ecidence, and all evidence from it, is inadmissable

yes i watch law and order

so bad guy wants to wait for the guuy goods to returen and gets a 10% fee fpor security from gold shipments

he wants to rule the town and goes tothe bar with sherriof anfhas some booze

he wakes up in berd with thev sherriof and thinks "noooooooooooo! Not again!!!!"

jk really he talks with lloyd about howe he had to cap his woman and llouyd is glad he gets to live high with bad guy

so the indfiands dance and are gonna attack the town

they find lloyd fuill of bullet holers  from being shot in the back a lot

chicxk wants to keep mainguy from going and throws dirt in his face, then beats him out witj a gun and rides off

btew this is fiullscreen and colored

so he wakes up and has 1 gun left and goes off but the indians see and follow

the sherrif has a rope put across the road and knocks out and catches main guy and talkes him away

the ibndians come and arroew the sherrif and bads and frees main guy

as its 1 hour til dawn and thats when the time b4 the attack is up, indian leader helps main guy

shewrruif isnbt dead and gets upas i guess he had an extrta life and chick is caught by the bads

therry dont kill her now as they are dumbsa55es and instead bad guy talks with her to offer her a chance to be his woman

she dont consenthe almost b0nes her but dont cuz its a 50s moves and he sez I Can Wait

so te main guy and his indians come to town but snewak around like ninja and shewrrifd gets there desp[ite leaving after the ndias ands being arrowed

chick tells bad guy that main guy is after him to f with him and thre bad guys men walk around and are caught by the indiansand knocked out

seller catches a guy but is stabbed and the indians bow and arroe the other guys

1 indian arrows a thing through the bad guys window so basf guy breaks the lights and shoots tjhrough the dooe

it was 1 of his guys on ther other side and her brings out chick as a hostage

the indiasns make sounds to draW HIS FIRE AND HIDE AND HE USES UP HIS BULLETS

HE RUINS INSIFE and chick and indians tell the town that bad guy leads the 45 gang and main guy haS TOI FACE BAd guy

he throws down his guys and grapples but gets thrumbs in his knife hole

bad guy and him grab a gun and 1 fires and then bad guy walks oyut, bites it, and main guy comeds out and hugs chickas he crosses his guns behind his backi mean hers

the end


nice stoery, good twists, nice way of him getting out of a pinch

good action aNDV STYLE and effects

its we;ll made and tells a nice weestern story

if it were made today it would make ALL guns look bad

which is like making ALLv cars look bad cuz a few ghuys drive bad\

even though cars kill more than guns

For Colt 45 2 I want it to be in the 20s and a new car is made but a criminal has taken it and is going around running people over, and the guy who sells the car has to catch him, also its a 32/64 bit racing game like Carmeggodon on playstartion 1, sega satuirn and n64 but you play as either the bad guy running people over or the good guy trying to stop him by hammering your car into his. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Bluebeard Review

 Note;‬ I spell el piuratey matey, arrrrge!


This is my revierw on Bluebeard from 1944 (100 years before the 3rd Robotech War withere the Invid attacked)

Its directed by Edgar G Ulmer who did The Black Cat in 34, The Man From Planet X in 51 and Hannibal in 59

Its written by Charles Perrault in the 1600sd who made these f;d up dark storys that were also dome by the brothers grimm and often have cannibalism

I nervver saw this but in the 00s I took a Fantasy and Fairy Tales class in College as I needed an elective and already took Japanese Cuylture, and it was either this or Vampires in our culture, and: Twiligfht! No!

It stars John Carridine, Jean Parker froom Beyond Tomorrow, Nils Asther from Laugh Clown Laugh and Our Dancing Daughters, Ludwig Stossel from The Testament Of Dr Mabuse, Teala Loring (like teela in He Man?) from Double Indemnity, Henry Kolker from the 30s Romeo and Julietye, Iris Adrian from Mighty Joe Young in the 40s, Harry Cording from the 300s blacvk cat/treasure uisland/count of monte cristo/greak expectations/captain blood/robin hood/huncxhback of notre dame, Frank Darien fromn The grApes of Wrath, George Irving from Sergeant York, Island of Losr Souls and Wings, Ethelreda Leopold from My Man Godfrey/The Wizard of Oz/The Great Dictator/Myra Breckinridge/Young Frankenstein and Married... with Children, and a buncxha 19800s dudes i never saw

I never saw tghis but hear it did we;ll in reviews

After title and credits, which has John Carter doing sound, as I guess he's back from mars, these napoleon hat looking dides find a womANS BODY IN THE RIVBER


a i mean many girls are bashed by their rents for bewing out with the blue beard out at night in case the blue beard got em

you know, if they had a gun or a switchblade or a hammer or nunchaku, they could dewfendd themselves

so these bimbos go out together and run intio a guy callled trhe puppeteer who calls himself gaston like that disdney movie

he seems a bit creepy and sez his puppet shopws aint dooing well with the blue beard roaming around and the chix say they'll come to his show

then its this puppet show that might creep people out today  and looks a bit rankin bass and theres a big a55 crowd

pupper man does trhe voices and singing and its like a 40s disney movie and the girl puppet iced hher kid

wait; the other puppets are doner by a greasy guy and a chick

d hero puppet guy looks at thr crowd and then has his puppet come out looking like dracula and they sing

the puppets sing and the background opens andf therws angels and fire

wtf is this?! i dont get it! is she dead? did she go to hg e double england?

pupper man goes downn and collects money and chats with the chix from b4 about how he made the puppets

he invites 1 girl back to show her his puppet costuimes (noooooooooooo!) aND SEZ 1 ppast work got iced

theres a chick watching them and he brings her off totalk without other watcbing

she asks f she can make a puppet of her and he compliments her looks and is gonna

maimn chicks friends call for her and she goes back after saying she''d make a costume

greasy guy sez a girl is looking for hijm abnd he sez to dsay hes looking for her and gives him some money

he goos hoome and theres a girl there who was spying on them and is jealous of him talking to that girl

i assume sges the killer and wanted to either frame him or take out those who ruval her

shes gay for him and kinda nuts, well, sger ISn frencxh! They can be kinda mental!

so she says somethuiing and it fades to her uncxoncious and he carrrys her like in the cabiunet of dr caligari and dumps her in the river

he sure took a dump! a jean claude van dump! cuz its french!

the cops find her and the pupper mastet sees this cop head or something abnout the iced chick and he sez she was out in the am and her bed wasnt used

cop calls for the next lead and pupper mastyer meets greasy guy who te tells they will do faust again when thery have a ew female lead

so puppet master wants to make a new puppet show and wants the main chick to just make him new costumes for his puppewts

he sendfs greasy guy to get main chick and keep her friernds out and he goes there and invites her and she comes

at puppeto's place he brings ger aNDF sez he hopes pupper makes a doll of him and he shows i mean pupprty shows her the designs and sez he wants to put more time in his puppets anfd stop painting

she finds a cloth from the chick he iced and its torn but shefixes it and wonders whgat the deal is

he cant tells her andsezshe aasks too many questyions and he has sh-t to hide

later pippopinvites a guy in who sez the cops found the latest body andtries to get him to stop icing people

also puppet toad sells this guy puppets and i mean paintings and this guy sold the latest one to some high class homie i cant recall, like a duke or prince or sopme cr-p

so puppeto woeries the chick in the painting will be recognized  as its 1 of his vuictiums and the high class guy exhibits his paintings

later a guy comes by the exhibit and sez the chick in there was one of blue beardsz victims and i think this guy is the cop or something and wants the higfh class guy to help

he tells cop he got it from an art dealer and cop knows the dealer and high class sez the frenchie name al bear was the painter

cip then chex dealer and dealer sez he dont recall with how much art he deals and dont recall the painting or painter and cop sez he was told the painter wouyld be famous

dealeroffers cop a painting and deaker recalls the guy who sold it and said it was from a guy who said it was in the fam a  long time

btw this is b/w aND IN WIDESCVREEN

so later main chick meets a female homie whos behind one of those folding things people got changed behind and shes going to meet a guy

main chick sez girl friend is never home abnymore and she replies to not intergere in her issues

i assume shes out b0ning bguys

later puppetr master comes over and girl friend wants to meet him but shes getting dressed in castlevania era clothes as they didnm't do tank tops and miniskirts back then

puppot wants to see if the clothes for puppets are done and they aint so he goes

later main chick shows her female friend who is her sister to the head cop at a meeting and they talk about bluebeard

cop tells about the painting and he shows her it in a court room or something in a meeting with a buncha guys

the judge asks if she knows of the painter and she dont and the wait, she aks i mewan he asks another girl 1st

they are asking various chicks about ther painting and this 30s blonde is called up and the court guy implies she's a wh0re and jokes of her as the court laughs

oh they are asking models in case they recognized the art style or artist

so later they try i mean i think the high class guy asks ther art dealer to get a cerrtain art style, wait, its a worker of the high class guy and the hgih class guy is the duke

so duke jr compliments the al bear and wants him to paint this chick who claims to be his daughter butn dealer dont want to help

until he's offered 75 000 franks and dealer wants 160 000 franks and its agreeded he'd try to help but if its a guy who uses a fake name then he needs to stay private

i think its the sister who fakes being the duke jr duaghter

later dealer wants puppet master pay i eman to paint and if not he;d not let him live there

puppet master dont wanna do it but is offered 25 000 to 30 000 franks to do it and he dont want as hes done painting and thinks its too risky

dealer sez she's getting married and going to America but puppet master thinks its a trap, but agrees to do it in traders studio

meanwhile the cop plans for it and is gonna have men at every exit and a signal in the window

later dealer and sister are at this place with duke jr and sayds there is no visitors and dealer brings sister to see puppet master

pupper master is behind curetains and uses mirrors to see her, which is filmed in a cool way

dealer gets paid by duke jr and sister asks about other pictures done by pupper mapsey

duke jr gives i mean gets a match from dealer for his smokes to send him to h e double soviet franch and is shown other paintings by dealer

sister asks puppet master to give her a back ground oin her painting like the dukes picture aND AFTER having issues with her poses, puppet master goes to fix her posing

dealer leaves duke jr and listens in on them as puppet master is recognized by sister as the puppeteer and she dumba55ly blowes her cover sayuing "ur bloo deard!"

he takes off his neck thing and wraps it on her neck and the rest happens offscreen

the duke jr gives trhe signal by moving a flame in the window but is clubbed from behind with the candlestick by trhe dealer

puppero tries to sneak out as dealer tries to flee with ther money but pupppet mastyer catches him and asks how many others he told he painted it

dealer says no one and puppet master sees dealer was gonna sneak out to let him take the blame

the door rings and they see its the cops and puppetop fights dealer for a while

the coips come in and break in da door but by the tome trhey break the other door they see dealer dead on the floor and puppetmastwer has escaped in a hidden passage

he runms through the dark area as cops hunt and the cops in the place tend to the victims

duke jr comes to but priobably is gonna bite it from brain dammage and the cops find the sister iced

they have a servive for her and head cop tells main chick they only have 1 clue; the neck thing that she recognizes as the one she fixed

cop goes and puppet man comes in and she asks what happened to his neck thjing as its got no stitches

he sez its a new one ands she wonders what happenewd with the 1st one

so later puppet master in attack mode uses his effect to pay 2000 life poiunts to summon 2 fiends from the graveyand i mean is in his home and main chick comes to see him

she asks to see the cloth thing she mended fopr him and he sez she trhew it away and he sez he was in the whole while and dont paint anymore when she asks

he sez hes gay for her and tells her he dont wanna paint her as he nearly starved as an art stufdent and wanted to do something epic

he made cr-ppy art but one day found a collapsed girl and cared for her but found by painting her there was something special about her that reminded hi of this maid of something

the painting sold well and she got better and left and one day trader gave him a letter from the acadenmy saying his painting of the sick girl would have in the loov and won an award

he wanted to share his joy with her but couldn't find her , but then did and found she was a 5kank and a low brow dink

she couldnt i eman he couldnt take it and snapped and stranged her

now each time he painted, he painted like it was her and turned to puppeting as he can take out his anger on them

and cuz trader knew his secret, he had to paint for him to sell em, but as each girl he painted was done like the 5kanbk, he had to ice her

wow this is like big bang theroy svu

but now he found her and sees her as a better version of the 5kank and he can use her to turn good

so now he can;'t paint her as it might make him ice her

she asks why her sister and he sez he didn't wanna but did it as a one last time to be free

but he didn't know it was her sister and he thought the chick he iced was gonna cause issues and he couldnt take it

he sez anything thast gets in the way of happiness must be ended and she wants to go to the cops

btw the whole "I iced people but now dont gotta as i found what I need but am probably gonna get wacked as then movie ends" was done in Murders in the Rue Morgue in the 30s

he stops her and sez he wopuldnt let her turn on him anfd hugs her bnut them strangles her

so the cops come in and they have musklets but dont fire as they are candy a55 frenchies

actually 1 fires but cuz he's a frecnhie he s-clked at it

he esacapes\ to the roof and and fights in the darknesds so we dont really see anything

head cop tells chick, who is alive, that he followed her thinking she found something and the puppeter is on the dark roof, the floor breaks and he falls in the water

then it shows the starting building and sez fin liuke the guy from street sharks

the end

that was pretty good

not 100% accurate to the probablyu true story, but not bad

its only like 70 mins and has a good style

nice darkness and bit of light

good twists and characters

its well made and doesn't need swearing or b0ning or nude scenes or gore to make it cool

its a good period piece and holds up well

plus ther art is pretty good, like something in Castlevanias or TMNT Trourament Fighters on Seag Genesis

even though we know who the killer is, his secret reason for doing it is kept hidden untiil the end

and the end is like the 20s Phantom of the Opera or something where its a bad guy who has issues that make him not all bad, goes nuts and getting it

both even fdall in the water in franch!

i liked this and its worth a look

although the end is kinda hard to see

For Bluebeard 2 i want it to pick up where the 1st one left off and they are trying to find his body, but as they didn't, its a chance he's still alive. also he's still alive and going around wasting people as he's fully snapped and has nothing better to do. also its an 8 bit sega master system and game gear, nes and game boy, atari 7800 and lynx and tg16 game where you play as blue beard the gaston puppet master in attack mode and go around hiding and getting close in the shadows to the chicks and pulling off their heads with your bare hands

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

The Eagle Review

 Note: I spell better than the soviets as myt R's are the right way

The Eagle

This is my review on The Eagle from 1925(100 years before Tranbnsformers Vicvtory)

its based on the book dubrobsky by bAlexander Pushkin that i never heard of neither him nor the book

its directal by Clarence Brown who i assume is clancey brown sr and he did the 20s lasnt of the mohicans, the 20s the cossacks, flesh and the devil, the yearling, the 40s angels on the eou i mean in the outfirld and the plymouth adventure

i never saw this but it stars drudolph valentino, Louise Dresser from Mr Wu, Albert Conti from The Black Cat, James A. Marcus from Sadie Thmpson, Carrie Clark Ward from the 24 Dange's Inferno and Scaramouche, Spottiswoode Aitken from Birth of a Nation, Gustav von Seyffertitz from Queen Christina and The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg, Agostino Borgato from Murders in the Rue Morgue and Birs of Paradice, Mario Carillo from Torent, Gary Cooper from a lot of good stuff, Otto Hoffman from the 20s Noah's Arc, Eric Mayne from The Conquering Power, Russell Simpson from The Grappes of Rwarytth i mean wrath, Mack Swain from Torrent and a buncha 1800s homies i never heard of

So after titla and creitds we get theczarina inspectying her troops in the ussr before it went soviet

a horse cart goes outta control liem the guyver and a horeseman chases after it and jumps on the horses to stoop them

rudy is the horseman and he meets this girl therte and they like each other

oh and this old lasdy is there and i thiunk its her mom, but shes not got like the moms in anime

so the cart goes on and rudy hears the girl zcar saw him using her horse just now and he introduces himself toe the girl zdxar

she wants rudy and anotrher guy to come to her place at 10 pm

i assume to b0ne

so he meets her there and she lets him have the horse as hew showed courage

hes happy and kisses her hand and she runbs his hair and like hes her pet

they seem to have an attraction but she gets some booze as they are soviets and love liquor

but they both throw the booze away thinking the other didnt see as i guess its drugged

what is this? legal AGE POLANSKI?!

they fake being drunk and she offers to make him general but sez hes too young

trhey a lieuntenant has a death warrent ready to be sihgned by her and she signs it but bends the guy away

then she crys and sez rudy is the 1st soviet to see the czarina cry asnd kisses him a bit

nowadays this would be seuxal harrassment from a senior boss

jk the guys who worry about that dont care when its a woman doing it

she goes off to getta durpizre for him and he tries to leave but a guard shows him something and tells him not to leave

rudy only enlisted tro serrve in the war but when czarina comes out in a night gown rudys gone and she spazzes out

rudy readys a nnote and its in handwriting as people were devolved back then and the czarina orders rudy brought back, dead or alivbbe, xtrrme beach volley ball

then czarina gets dinner served and flirts with another guard like she did rtudy

as rudy goes on horseback bhe sees a wanted note for him and books iut

later kyrilla seizes the rudy's estate liek he's candya55 trudeau or something and a judge is poaid to help kyrilla

they drink wine as they arws soviets and love destroiying their bodiues witrh boozer and smokes and b0ning and fights and eating cr-p

1 goes for more wine and in the celler is a bear on a chain and copllar, but not the gay sxxx way

the guy freraks out and the others laugh at his torment as they are the bad guys

kyrilla greets his daughter who is the chick the rudy liked

later kyrilla is biting it and rudy comes to see him and wwait its rudys dad

so the people want rudy to free them from kyrilla and k man has a guard of cossacks  to work for him

so rudy vows to frfee them from kyri,laa and starts going artound in a mask as the black eagle to fightn kyrilla

is this a super hero moivie?

so rudy sends a note to kyrilla saying hes comming for him and kyrilla sez hes brave but a popped boioze bottle freaks his fata55 out

later rudy sees a chick weho k lord sended a guy to seize their cr-p and rides off on a horses a55

as a horse goes under a bridge, rudy ijn masked hero eagle guy, jacks the guys items by poulling him up and lets him go

then gives the ghirl who was jacked of sh-t what he took from ther guy

later the dauhgter and lady are goiung down the road in a cart and a buncha biker gangs on horseback attack and catche m

the lady tries to use her candya55 dog on em but it doe nothing

its the black eagles goons and trhey send her back but keep the daughter

rudy in mask sees her and finds shes k lords kid and lets her go

is this where captain blood goyt it or did this come after ?

he shakes her hand and his ring f'd it and she bites her hand

rusdy asks if they met but she sez no then she wealks off

hje follows on forse and she dont anna ride it and is stubborn

so in guess theyre gonna fall in love and haVE 50 BABIES

eventyally she gets on the horse and smmiles at him and goes off

later rudy goers to the post office and acts like a frenchie and speaks non candaian frecnh aka real frecnh aka noin devolved frtench

he getes a cart and horses and goes to kyllias place to teach his dauighter french

wait, its another guy who is the french tutor and errol flynn i mean rudy is going in a cart with him

so on the way there, rudy tied and gags the frenchie and takes huis place as the tutor, and leaves him in the cart.

rudyu is gonna shank kyrilla but daughter comes in and he sheathes his cain sword

she asks if they met and he paraphrases her comment on her meetng himn b4

they shake hands and she recognizes his ring and he sez the black eagle held up his coach and gave him the ring to give to ger as a token of devotion

she sez to return it and kyrilla sez he'd rip out his heart if he were here like ion mortal kombat

ruidy gives him a note from the b e saying he freed his daughter but is commingh for him

later they are having a meal and he puts too much peppeer in his soup

theres a good moving shot of the table as the camera goes back and we see da feast

they toast to kryillas long life and rudy is a bit f'd anmd under kyriuillas plate is anote from the eagle

bud eagel like wild guyitar??

later the people dance and rudy talkx with daughter about the b e and hoiw she weants him tio not take revenge

btw, sahouldnt he be against the czarina? i mean this guy was just following orders, she GAVE the orders!

do kyrilla likes how his kids frencxh is comming and lets rudy in the basement to get wine

but in there he seez the bear and daughter finds out and gores in

the bear chain breaks and it comes for the daughter so rudy pulls out a weapon and caps the bear to h e double england

a good guy with a gun saved a life! its harambe 2! or rather 0 as this came 1st

she sees him as the eagle anbd blacks out, then later, sdhe reads the bible at night about not seeking vengeance

in da gaerxen; a beardo tellls ruidy the men are tired of waiting and want him to do his osth of vengeance

daughter hears something outside abnd goes oyut, wait, she just puts the bible open to that part on rudys deck

rudys comming sio she hides in the closet and rudy reads it, thern reads "an eye for an eye" anbd highlights it

he gets his firearm friom the closet anbd she isnt seen asnd wwhen she comes out after he left, reads the eye passage

rudy goes to lhyrions bedroom andf is in his mask anf wakes him uyp at gunpoint

daughter coomes in with a gun at b e and he lowers his weapon and jumps out the wiindow

dad gets the gun but its not loaded dso he can't j fk ruiy

the people fiund the eagel was here and rudy is one of em and i think rudy is gonna guard khyron

he sez to daufhtyer the eabnnfgel wont hatm her dad when hes there and sheb smiles and gives him a gun

they go to bed and dauighter walks in on rudy strangling her dad, which was probabl;y j=rkin him off in thge real version

but hes actually massauging his headache away and goes to teacvh her the french

shes not in the mood for lessiopns and he offers a massage like some kinda creeper as hes her teacher and dad comes in and tries to help her

rudy heels i mean feels her neck and jaw and where her double chin would be if she was a fata55

he asks how she fells of him and she sez she hates him and goos off

he follows and she sez she'd call her dads cossacks and out him but sees the cossacks have caught the eagles lierutnent outside

khyron interrogates him and they take off his shirt and k man whips him

rudy comes out about being the eagle and dads men come up

daughter locks the door but rudy sez he wont run and she admits to loving him and they smooch

the cossacks break in and he escapes in a hidden passage andf brings her wqith him

rudy frees his lieutenant and he chcik and lierintien esdcape as the cossacks come after em

hes caughhtsd by the guards anmdf its the czarinas goons who catch him as they have his wanted postyer and a death warrent

wait, shes signing his death watrrent and her cutrrent butt buddy asks her to free him as becauser of rudy that she started b0ning him

the regess puts butt buddy in charge of his execution and the rudy juewlini has 1 final request, and they let him have it; marrying the daughter

after he kisses the bride; the butt buddy comes in and shwows him something so rudy kisses his cheeks as he's eurtopean

funny how rudy plays a soviet yet is french italiano, but in the biopic valentino from 77: they got a soviet guy to play rudy

so he makes out with his new woman i meean wife and is taken away to be put to sleep

at 6 pm he's gonna get the firing squad and butt buddy begs toi not end him, wait, itsx czarina who begs and they it hits 6 and the troops firte their muskets

czarniea is bummed and butt buddy asks czarina  to signs a passport for the frecnhie

sahe sees its valinteino and he sez its not and she realizes the thing and signs it happlily

turns out the troops were firing at target practive fake people, or jiinzo ningen in nihonbgo and czarina seez valintinoi and daughter coming i mean going in a cart tio go to candy a55 france

the end

That was quite good

nice romance and action and suspene

good filming and style and it has a good show of how monarchy is a danger

the twists were nice and i kinda suspected he'd live at the end

the mask was like zorro or batman or black satan(remember him??)

its a decent movie based on a book i never read and i'm glad i saw it

plus its only like 70 mins

For The Eagle 2 I want him to be dealing with lusty frenchies in a daemon cult trying to take over franch and then extrend to the rest of earth, so he has to resume the role of the black eagle to take them on. also its an 8 bit platform game like Shinobi on sega master systema dn game gear, nes and gamer boy, tg 16, atari 7800 and lynx where ytou play as rudy in a mask and fight the fgrenchies with a bladed yoyo and other gadgets to savedd the world

Saturday, March 19, 2022

Miami Connection Review

 Note: i spell better than koreas

Miami Connection

This is by review on Maima Commention fromn 1987 (the year robocop came out)

its make by ruixhared pRK PARK I MWEANRT f u kytboard i hot dog u butt

and its by and starring Y.K. Kim and a buncvha guys i never heaRD OF

it came out in trher 80s but everuyone hated it o the director quit, but years laTER, FDOUND ITS A CULT FILM SO HE got redemtion vibdiucatesd

i saw thisd on tmc i mean tcm in the 201-0s andf liked it

its made by guys who haf no idea what they doing but itv hads fans

like tommy wiseau and trhe room

so after somer logos we get a drug dfeal in mianmi where a buincag giun tortin g guys meet but ninja sneak in and take out a guy wirth s shuriken o the nevk

thjer guys open fite but are taken out by sengoku era ninja tricks like hiding andsnipering with a bow and arreow

1 guy gets his head slixzed with a blade

so the ninja icve em including 1 gut getting an arm slicved off as its the 80s and we usded to be cool

the ninja retuern to their placer and this white robed ninja is the boss like joew musashi uin the shinobi games on sega

he wants the money buty the ninja forgot to get it so he did

then credits and title as a mobntage to 80s musicv of scenes of the heroes riding bikes, doing kung fu and rocking ouyt

then its in societ orlando and thre main heroes get togetherand wait, its ther bad guys and they are gonna move a lot of nose candy in florida

thjey go to a cluyb and this 80s band plays another 80s song right after we just had 1

its aboutr beingf friends so i think care bears would like it, or yugioopgb

1 guys is a bad guy and is wirth the bads and his sister is in the band

the singer looks like hall or oates, not sure whivcjh

vtw im trying not to use backpace on this review

this song goes on for a whiule but its kibda nicve

then its the university of central florida and inb class for conputers in the 80s, the teavcher saez something good about their teem

chick from band is there andf a guy comes by and makes faces  and they walk later

i think hes ghewr bf andf shes only fanmiuly is her brother who pays her scjhooling but she hoes on about her backstoerry

she dont like her brother and he is witrh malcontents and as her and bf walk these mad max guys come uip and its brother and hios droogs

brorther is angry and malcontent and slugs ouyt bgf and for no reason

bfs crew comes by and stands up troi him and main guy is a koreas who has a thick accent

they wal;km off and good f--lk we;re like 15 mins in and it felt like nothing

at the club the owners or w/e argue and break into kung fu fight over what musc is there

btw i mean wtf a flag dsays baysde like saved by the bell 1

after qw phone call where a guy is t9oold to get here as he had issues hetrtingf the money together, we see brother with the bn9nja and hes told to get rid of the band so they can control the area

not sure how a rock band in college is ptreventing them from owning the area, but if ta la winning a beybattle in beyblade can make or break voltaires plans for taking ocver the world in beytblkade season 1, anything can happen

afterthe main guys eating, we get the band playing a song in the club about being Against The Ninja

in the 909s i mean 80s; nminja were all over, ninja gaiden, shadow of the ninja,  inbja scroll, ninja turtlkes,sega's nina i mean ninja proincess u i mean princess or the minjas on master syster, legend of the kage, la blue girl, ect

now its just narutro and his robert cop bootleg boruto

but the song is actually kinda good, like cheetah men or the room, it got bad reviews, cuylt fans and acrtual good muisc

after trheplaying in the at club, the band drives off but bad guys follow them in a car and the music is dramatic and cool anmd 980s

the band runs into a buncha malcintents like soccer fans in soviet enmglAND and they block road

1 guy blames them for him lodsing nbis job and wants his droogs outta town

i think its a guy who was in ther club and got canned

1 guy dumps beer on them and the band goes bad dudes against these not dragion ninja and beats their a55es

the band ruynbs but is cxhased and kung fu fights and the fight scwenes are actuaslly good

yeah the main guy has a thick accent, but the music anmd fights are good

arnold and jean claude has accents and make good 80s 90s films

latter in their pplacethe 1 blacjk guy gets a letter from d c and he reveals he has a dad wgho's still alive

turns outblack guy's mom wwas korean anddad was american and had to return to the states afer his military duty wwas over

but black guy didnt like himfor leaving then, but still looked for him

spoiler; black koreans have it pretty rough

you think itsd bad in america? that's nothing compared to korea!

so then the guys go to the beach and check out the 80s bikini babes

lots of butt shots, its like my littlke pony or bdbgt

hauln oats flirts witgh a chick so sdhe shoves huim into a ferw buikini babes on the geround and they smacj ion him

bf and sisater make out ib the sewa, then we see the band working out and training in a gym

the guys they beat up last night coime by and wwanna see bands boss

wait i think its not the band andf the boss is the bro

bands beat guys offers to work with him to stop the college kung fu rock band

then we see the good guys or at least 1 of e,,  training in kung fu

wow its alll in 1 take

then he spars with a the bf and theres a birt of slo mo to look cool

wauit i think its another guy and not bf goes up usinmg a rubber knife

he pills the guys nose i mean puls with his toes

bf later suggests putting board beareaking in theirt act but wait, yeah it is bf and another guy worrys about bro and his cocaimnum buds

this banmd is the only fam,ily they have and taekwondo is their style and trhey wanna vidis i mean visit  all counttries their rents are from on tour

there they play music and will visit taekwando dojo to promote peace and love

later at a restaurant thiese guyts are gonna leave w/o paying and 1 guy looks lie hes in a diap[er

the cook trys to stop em but they attack so he kicks their candya55es

then the band comes in and is imprtressed by his skuill and they tALK ABOUT TAEKLWANDO 

then we see the band playing as they do kung fu in their axct

after that, they find a note on their car saying to meet downtown from the bropther

as itds probably a TRAP, THEY CHOOSE TO GO THERE AND in the gym, the sister meets witrh bro over his attacking her band

he wants to be overprotective but she sez she lovews hiom and he cares too much and tthinks she knoes i mean he knowes better

he wants her to dump him but she books it and later its ay time and the maslcontents are waiting to beat uyp the good guys

the good guys drive to 80s music and go to this train yand and guys attack em as they drive

at the place they stop and fight the guys, some of who are satill wounded from b4, so if they couldnt beat em at full  life, maybe with less they can!

thheres fuel tankers on trains and 1 guys hity it and it f--king nukes the arera and wasters everyone!

jk reaslly it just clangs

thgen the ciops start comming and the guys scatter b4 the cops the get there

so we get a montage of bikers riding buikes like its mad mad max or hokuto no ken but tyi to an 80s songn about nbeaiong being a tough guy

a few chicks show their t-tds for a few sewconds

bvro shows up and hanfs ti i mean with the bikers and sez the main asian guy is a black belt and is named mark like the guy from the wroom

in the bar another chick whoes her b00ns anmd later main korean guy mark chats with the guys and 1 guy is making a new song

So later its day and the heroes are checking the mail and eating breakdfast, then go to school or w/e and the 30 y4ar old teens think they are cool

thery drive off in their ferrarri mustang p-mpmobile and these bad guys in a car follodw them to this restraumnt

as hallen oats os parking, the bads catch him and driove away and the otrher guys dont nortice

they take himn to the bad basew ands tie him up shirtless and with blood on him and the base is a gym

gf goes thwerew and asks the malcontents where a guy is and dont find him

so hallon a55 is tied to a construction thing and the bsadds are drinking beers as they are evil and beer devolves you

the good guys come over somehow knowing where they are and the bads wanna blow off haulin a55's arms if the heroes dont get there soon

the heroes k n i mean k o the guards and sneak around in the bright lit darkness and take guys out

the bads hear and scramble and are picked off, including 1 guy chopped in ther neck and blood squirts fgrom his opeb cut

its bada55 in a way only the 80s did

imagine oif the bad guys b0ned haul and oats whhen he was tied up?

after going final fight on sega vd i mean cd on the bads, they fight the bro whos using 2 spiked metal bars and the fight goes to the ipper floors

in the fighting, the brother falls off and bites it and gores to h e doubl;e california

the ninja repoerrtto the head ninja that bro is dead and he sez to avenge him and sends in the maiami ninja

why is  it yhat people who know nothing about making movies make the best movies

look at tommy wiseau and tghis guy

and the guy who did m d geist

soi later the blackorean gets a letter saying he found his daddy and he's happy

tomorrow they gonna meet him and his multiu  etjhnic homies of martial artists celebrate and get him a proper suit like its power rangers

main korean meets gf and says how wait, she knows and how her bro bit it, but she understands and is cool with her ponly surviving fasmily biting it

like Kenshiro and Hyou

oh and korean hero is in jeans,  a red shirt asnd a black leather vest and looks bada55

yeah his actoier has an accest, but whgen someone has a brittish accent its shown as good

double standard!! NUKEW ENMGLAND!!!

so the blackorewan, hero korean and i think bf drive and are styopped by motorcylce noinjas and theyt run through a forest as ninja chase em

now they fight and the blackorean gets scliced in the torco with a huge scice in him

its pretty bada55

sorta like in riki-oh how he carved open his body to remove washizaki's device

korea hero drags him through the water and puts him on the river bank as bf fights ninja

korea hero leather cposat cuts through ninja with a katana as does bf and b4 i mean bf takes off his shirt to look cool

the korean hetos english reminds me of toshio maeda, as its fluent in english but has that noteable accent

1 guy gets his face sliced open and its bada55

then he i mean the white robed ninja is there doing d=-=k on a stick and a ninja rtreports to him that all the others fell

white ninja skluices off his head and laughts and then sword fights korea hero

it turns to a fist fight amnd korea hero beats him down and wwalks off like a bada55

but white ninja pulls a blade and comes in, only to be countered by korea hero and shanked in his own gut

he falls over and i guess is dead with a big blood wound

but the white ninja  turns to his 2nd forme and becomes a big blood red tanuki with large tesrtiuckles that pulsate with a beat


then we get slo mo blurry scenes of the heroes going aroundf the jungle and then they drive to bring blackorean t the dr

in the waiting room his dad is there and  the dr says the wounds weren't as bad as thewy seem and he's gonna be ok with some rest

dad sez hes gonna make up for his past mistakes and owes his sons life to main korean

maimn korean sez blackloreaN IS LIKE HIS BROTHER AND BLACVKOREAN IS WHEELED IN in a chair and him annd dad say they love each othewr

maim morean sez its over, then they walk and a title card like a silent film says "we gotta get world peace by removing violence"

if a lot of people love eacvh other, the world would be a better place

then we get clips from the movie with the actors name under em like space balls but to 80s  muyics

ninja's; eddy wood, like ed d wood jr??

lori blackmon, like digimon?

robert lee, ;iklike the confederate?>

the end

that was honesrtly cool and good

its got great music and fifghts, but the acting was a bit woofdy

but as meat loaf said; 2 outta 3 aint bad

its got a cool 80s vive ansd is positive and baa55 with nice effects and style

i had fun watching it and it goes by fast with good flow and feel

i enjoyed it and for a movie about a college knug fu riock bacnd fighting motorcycle drug dealer ninjas, its one of the better ones

itsa soolid entertainmemnt and esp conmapretd to todays filmes, is a treat and a joy

For Miami Connectoopn 2 I want the father iof the ninja who got iced to come after them and send magic ninja to fight the korean guy, so he goes enen i mewan even further beyond and accesses his ki and burns through the magic ninja an dhtir the i mesan their making weaponsof ki and making shadow clones and walking up walls and growing to autobot sizes. its also a 16 bit beat em up on sega geensis snes tg16 gna i mean gba and artari jaguar where you play as the korean guy or one of his friends and is up to 4 players

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Lorna Doone Review

 Noye; i spell better than house attraedes, wait, wrong dune!

Lorna Doone

This is my review on Lorna Doone from the distant future year of 1922(100 years before robotech ii the senrtinels hapnede)

its directed by Maurice Tourneur who did TYhe Blue Bird from 1918(Which was really good) the 1920 Treasure Island and last of the mohicans

it stars Madge Bellamy from white Zombie, John Bowers from The Ace Of Hearts, Jack McDonald from Greed, Gertrude Astor from The Man who Shot Liberty Vallence, Joan Standing from the 20sa Oliover Twsit/Greed/ and the 30s dracula.Little Lord Fauntleroy, and a buncha 1800s guys i never saw in anything

I never saw this but think there's a Classics Ilustrated Comic Book of it

Its based on a novel by Richard Doddridge Blackmore but I never read it

So aftertitle and credits that has that classic look of a castle with shadows and lights, wqe get text saying this is a big a55 romance story that lasts

then i mean there in a bar is soviet england by the coast andf a farmers son comes home from boarding school

lorna is the daughter of thee coountess of lorne and wears a big dress

both are kids but seem to fall in love at 1st sight

buit then the highway men called the doones are comming or attacked or w/e and are a klasn of theioves aND BANDITS like in mad max

1 guy just warned of them and 1 chick says they dont attack ladies but is told to take the long way aroundf as its safer

like that d a r e powewr rangers add saying a safe trip home is worth a few extra minutes

lorna uses a water pump to hose off the son's head as he was too hot or sometyhing and he shows her his knife and pokes her finger

dont get tetanuys or hiv

he gives her the knife incase the biker gangs get her, i assuyme to seppuku ifg they catch her so she isn't used as a b0ninbg slave

she goes off  and later ensor doone is aN EXILED NOBLEMMAN as he wasn't politically correct and now is malcointent

he sends his clan of 1800s bikers after the countess lorna coavch and they catch em, takke the lady from it, but lorna fights em off witrh as knife

shes caught and ensioor takes lorna as a slave and throw the chick on the beach fior the craB PEOPLE TO eat

the son sees this and vows t end the doones one day and after a time skip, lorna is a greown a55 woman who wants friends and reads books

i thought they were wasteland warriors, not nerds!

so she saves a bird from some slum kids and brings it to ensor and i think he's gay for her even thoguh he;'s like 40 years older than her like woody allen or hugh heffner

councellor doone is a starscrteam guy and he wants his son to ahve her as a woman

the doone base is protected by the doone gate and the hgorsemen ride out from it

carter doone is the wildest ofd thema nd 5the wifes of doones are cr-pppy in times of lifes(wtf am i talking about or trying to say?)

oh carter tries b0nming a chick but lorna stops him like a female bodybuioilder in a go nagai anime

the almost b0ned chick is not happy this carter tried mouthing her mouth and lorna cheers him i mean her up

carter offers lorna a necklase and runs off to ensor and strarscrteam

the son named john boy ius the satrongest man in the area and a bada55 like a go nagai hero, but nice like goku

man he lifts a big a55 log in the river! HE MAN!

so carver, i thought it was carter, ort did i? i dont rememnber what i just wrote, wqants lorna to be his lover want to be his lover but lorna dont want that and bites off his footlong, i mean freaks out and asks wnsor for mercy

ensor sez as long as he lives then lorna has the freedom to choose her man, so i assime hes gonna get wacked

big bad john boy falls in the river abnd goes downtream to the boone base and theres a waterfall coming up that he dodges , waitm, he goes dowen it

but people were tougher in the casatelvbania days and hers just a big bruised

he wakles up to lorna tending his bimps i mean bumps and she reveals she knows him from the knife she got from him as kids after he tells her name

he remember her from that 1 day she met him and they are happy, but he finds shes a dooine

seeing she's his enemy, he raises his right hand and swings ity with a fury never before seen andf spplatters her across the lake in a burst of blood and organs

jk she really sez she dont know her real name buiit knows she's not a soone i mean doone

so are the doones inbreeding? like taght scottish or irish or w/.e cannibal family?

she shgows him the way ouit and he sez if she needs him,., use the batsignal by puting a light on this rock nearby

themn thius guy comes by and lorna stops him from goping after jonnhy boy

back home which is a mile away from doone base, john boy returbns hime and his cousin is gay nfor him, but cousins are ok to marry, its different enough, rioght? not that there's anythign wrong with thaztm, itys nartual, animals do it, ti doesnt mnatter who you love!

so ewinson is running outta life and gives lorna her moms necklace

carver or w/e comes in and is rough with einors and comes onto lorna as winsor cant do jack sh-t

aftwer he goos, eionsor werites a note AND loorna tells her slave or we/e tyo do the batsignal

erinsor writes that lorna is the ward of the king and signs it but bites it, wait, he dont, and coils it up to give to loorna

why not f--king tewll her the truth?!

dont write it in a note!!

f--kin dumbna55!

so loorna sends the note to a guy tyo deliver AND einsor bites it

lorna books it as the guys either fight, b0ne or partyy, i cant tell with these itrrishmen or w/e the f tyhey arte

ohn they are celebrating the end of einsor and how the new leader can b0ne lorna

so the boones i mean doones ciome in and find einsorf in h e doubel england and he tries tio get her to drink like he's that celeb who drugs chicks and b0nes trheir buuts, backdoor polanski

so she knocks the driunk away and carver summons the blind minkl anbd is gonna force marry her like its the 3rd world today

but johnny boys a commin and gets to the doone base

she's in her room and calls to him through the rwood bars and tells him sh-t as the lusty brits ready for a butt hammering

violence john bends the bars weith bare beef and the a55 carver comes in so he hides and aint seen

johnny got his gun and when lorna and carveing a55 goo to have what thgey call marraige, johhny returns to the bars

he's gonna go rambo on em?

manly john breaks through the roof like f--kin kekko kamen and slams on those inbreeders they caps one and a55 kicks his way out while carrying lorna like homer with mark hammil in that simpsons ep

but turns out ensor isnt dead dead, but just a bit dead and lingers like vegeta after frereza beamed him and comes out to stop them by his command like hes f--kin megatron

john and lorna escape as the doones are surproxzes ensor is not fully dead, but i guess its like with jyuuza in hokuto no ken how his body fought on after biting it and he keels over

it would be cool if it melted or disintegrated to dust on the floor

so john and lorna are in their village and all lovey dovey but theww countess comes in and wants to take her back to the civilized area

is john a redneck? i mean he's on the farm and sh-t and is nnice and good natures and bada66

so the countress reveals that lorna is a lady and the king commands she come to him to be a royal not a rebel

johnny acts happy but really wants her to stay but knows its for the best snf sher goers off in her cart

the doones see this but dont do anything as if they king is on their a55, their butt f---ked

so months later, the john goes to the london to get back an lorna

he sees how the elites oppress the humans and other unamerican things like guys trying to jack his sh-t

he brought a present for her but isnt al;lowed to see her, but can at the Chriustening of the royal infant

did they have a j-rk off royal wedding where the media whined about the candya55 prince marrying a weoman for months like in the 2010s?

after that it made me with we sides with zee kaiser

so the prince is bweingf bnaptized which is a a big event as i assume they are usually daemons or somethign and this one might have humnan dna

john boy meets lorna and shes glad to see him but is stopped by a halberd by a guard as he's not one to them

the deviant king james jr comes in but theres guys against the monarchy, wait, what yeatr is this?!

1 guy tries to linconm or j fk the prince but john interferes and the shot misses

they fight and fdall off the balcony and he's a destiny hero

lorna shows him off to the royal c-ck suckers and they are happy only cuz he did somethign good for them and plays with the baby

the rolays think hes a p o s and not worthy cuz hes fun and he's taken away, wait, he steps on a foot and seenng  they hate him

he runs back hiome and gives up on life and hope and his couson whos totally into him tells him to stop being into lorna

later the lorna returns and he thinks hes not good enough for her

imagine if adam sandler remaks this and he sh-tted all over the place at the president of the companies barmitzva or bris for his nephew

lorna renounced her title to be with him as she loves him more than those devolved brits

they are later in da church and gonna be married and the cousin tells the doones about it as shes jealous like yumi in violence jack slumking where she outed mary and ken but then died form not real reason

srsly, she just dies

so in da chhurch a doone j fk's the lorna and runs off on his horse like he';s the right honorABLE JOHN WILKES BOOTHE

lorna bites it i think ands john vows to avenge her like hes f--kin cutey hioney and goes off to stop the doones, no matter the cost

cousin inbreeder sees that her same family partnet might bite it so she goes off to the doones base too

and trhe people can't take the doones after this assassination and rally to end the doones

at trhe base, john is in the open andf challenged carver to 1 on 1 combat where 2 go in, one comes out, either john diesm, or carver dies, like rob ford saidf he'd do to that candya55 frenchie

buy before john can kill him, poke his eyes out, and f--k him when hes dead, the doones open fire on him like its warsong on sega genesis and he f--kingh dodges funfire in anescape like he;'s batman and takes cover

the townsfolk come over and meet johnny and inbreeder cousin is there and john shows his military talent and organizes a battleplan to come in the rear

the frontal assault has a fire fight and the 20 men go around back as the frontal attack brings it to em


so the rear entry goes in the backdoor and f--ks em up, wait, that soundfs like sodomy!

the doons battle on both ends but the townsfolk brings a battering ram as they flee the gateand go to their hobbit hole dwarf cave drow lair

the battle rages on and its pretty b--chin as these inbred cannibals are shown what for

carvwer's horce falls in the water with him in its a565 and john boy goes after him on the road like its f--kin night rider

he gets to him on the road, picks him off his horse, throws him in the ground, then jumps on him and fights like its the 20s

its like hetero mma and he ends up b0mning him dead or w/e they did offscreen

wait, they face grapple and carvwer  pulls out his b0ning knife and gets john in a lock to shank him but john overpowers him and tears the meast from his stabbing arm

the blade falls in the bog and john throwes carver srayskull in tio be mummified and found decades later by sceintists so he never has a real grave

dont worry, he's gonna be ok, he just needs some rest, theres a hospital planet nearby

so john have ended the threat of the doones and sent them to h e doubl;e england but misses his lorna

at least the doone will never waste anyone else, he saved countless people from their evil

and the kids they can have now that they dont get their parts destroyed by these liusty monsters

but somehow lorna is alive and ok

i guess she just needed some rest asnd they had a hospital planet near by

they reunite and the inbreeder cousin doesnt get punished for trying to wack a girl to steal her b4 like dfegrassi meets game of thrones

and just like game of thrones, theres inbreeding

the end

that was quite good

i liked it

good story

it kinda is 3 films in 1 with each ssegment kinda resolving and a new one happening

sortas like popeye from 1980

good acting and production

good scenarey and style

the guy who did the blue bird did this and it has more polish and effort, btu tells a great story

its got bada55 fight scenes and good romance and action

its a solid movie and only like 85 mins

glad i watched this, its worth a watch

For Lorna Doone 2 I want it to be the 1800s and the carver who fell in the bog arises after having made a pack with a daemon in it to get revenge at the cost of his soul. he comes back as a boggy monster and tries to wipe out the descendants of lorna and john. but the descendants have intherited johns manly strength and lorna's smarts and are super people. so he summons more bog monsters and brittish yokai to fight them. and the bada55 john and lorna descendants gotta take em on. its also a 16 bit beat em of i mean up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba, and atari jaguar where you play as up to 4 of the doones i mean johns and loornas descendants and they are bada55 nmanly muscle dudes aND CHICKS LIKE wwF AND AMERICAN gLADIATORS AND THEY (f u caps lock)beat through the mud monsters and brittish yokai and take the fiight to the bog to face the carver in his devilved forma; a big tentalce monster with multiple faces you gotta bust to reveal his core!

Friday, March 11, 2022

Robocop 3 Review

 ote: I spell like sequelks are seen

Robocop 3

this is my review on Robocop 03 from 1993 (Thew year Sega did Sonic CD)

Its directed by Fred Dekker who did The Monster Squad which I never saw

It stars Robert John Burke from thinner/hide and seek/Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Law ansd Otrder, Nancy Allen fromm Robocop 1 and 2 ANsd Poltergeist III, Jill Hennessy from Law ands OPrder, rip Torn from the 60s King fo Kings, Airplane II: The Sequel, disneys Hercules, f--king Freddy Got Fingered, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, Zoom, and the black men movies, John Castle from The lion in winter, Jodi Long from The Hot chick, John posey from Manhunter and Drop Dead diva, Mako from Conan the Barbarian and destroyer, 7 yeasrs in Tibvet, Rugrats in Paris and Pearl Hartbor, Bradly Whitford from Billy Madison and TYhe West Wang, cch pounder from judtice leafue unlimited, Biker Mice from Mars, Avatar and The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, Daniel Von Bargen from Thinner and Seinfeld, Stanly andertson from The Pliencan /Breief and Canadian Bacon and Aermmeggon, Steven Root from King of the Hill and Turn Washingtons Spies, Mario Machado from that George Burns movier about The Lord and Blue Thunder, Jeff Garlin from Ausatin Ppowers 2, Toy Stoery 3 and 4, ParaNorman, Star wars 0009 and The Goldburgs, and archive footage of guys from Robnocop 01 and 02

its written by Frank Miller who did some bada55 thingsand this was made to be more for kids so no gore or nakewd chicks oor swearing, you know: the stuff kids find cool, esp in Go Nagai Manga!

I saw this b4 and thought it wasn't awful, but pepoplerr who saw it hated it

I did play the Master System game and beat it

So aftewr credits we get a cr-ppy cg thing of the ciogty as an add for Delta City and a news thing of how OCP is being bought by the Japanese

As its detoilet; theres crime high so they are taking on the slummers by driving them out

 a girel in this slum works on a laptop i mean watches it and later the cops or w/e come in and bystr her home as she and her fam flees

then title as the cops start driving people from their hjomes ans wsending them away like in evangeline with the evil brits

1 black guy plants a charge on a vehicle and it bles ans he fights a guy, wait its cch poounder, who does kind of a john conor thing and helps the people rise up

the little girls rents are taken to the bus and she escapes and its like in soviet australia how they round people up into quareiontine for the suspician of being infercted

later she's alone in the rotting cuty, findfs a robocopp toy and the cops chanse her until cch catches her in a burned out van

if she gets into p0rn0 she can go by Beth Undine Martha Ppounder, or BUM!

latertr the cch resistance userd dino might to blow a gate and comes in witrh guns in theyr cr-pmobile, but ED 209 is there

she walks up to it and f--ks with the wires and hacks it to make it under her control

haym that was in the master system game

the resistance triewws to go in the armory but the card they use triggers an alert so Ed blows the door and they get huns i mean guns

tyhey get this rocket pack for robocop and when the cops come, Ed 209 gives em copver fire to escape

then a guy tries to hold up a coffee shop but its full orf armed cops, unlike soviet england, and lewis from roibvocop 1 and 2 goes off tyo the break in at the armory

so lewis flups her car and the resistance is getting away, but roboicpop is on their a55

lewis realizes they are in saplatgterpunk terf and they takle coverf in their f'd cars as molotoc cocktails attack

lewis calls for help from the mad max f--ks in soviet detriot and robocop goes back to help her despite higher up orders

so the cops are outta ammo froim firing at nothing and robocop rdrives his car off a building, shoots his way out the rooff, and gets a gun for arm to take em out

he catches a bullet in air to save lewis as he's f--king master roishi and goes after the violence jack guys, but is naiuled with feuil bottles and hit with a flare gun and cooked

but his face is ok as its in the open and he goies on patroll with lewis where he sees the kid and a Church

a Japanese businessman insults the OCP{ guy in Jpaanese and sends a guy ti fix his messes

then the ocp guy goes on a spoeech of how the former ocp guy had a dream for detoilet but now its a warzone and they are running outta money

this is what happens whren you elect democrats

so the cops are going againt the ocp and mcdagget is against robocop helping them take out the slums and is shown to be the bad guy as hes brittish

the japanese ceo is gonna send the otomo robo in a populated area for the 1st time and in ocp, dr lazarus(dat bible ref) is bugged over why Robocopm didn't obey the order

she sez he isn't a robot and has free will and didn't agree with it but trhe bugging guy wants to get rid of robocops emotions

they look over robocopsz memories from the 1st movie and lewis and Lazarus don't wanna pout in the mind block chip

the cops are told to quash the uprising and a cop sez to leweis they mindwiped bum, i mean him, but when robocop comes inn he gets triggered by the scene of the church

robocopp asks if leuws has fam and she sez he knows and robnocp sez call him murphy as they go off

so in the Church Robocop and Lewis go in and the forces of ocp or w/e comes over saying they want the people inside

robocop fires at their freet and tells em they are wrong and lewis sez if tehy wanna go in, they gotta go through em

mcdagget wastes lewis as she wasnt wearing body armor and robocop is busted by a grenage bazooka thing

the slummers fire on the soldiers and robocop puits lewis's body on the alter at the Church as she bites it

so as a lot of guys waNT ben son and stabler to be a couple, or will and grace to be a couple, or huck finn and jum to be a couple, or ed eltrric and royu mustang to be a coulle, or rick hunter and roy fokker to be a coupole, does anyone want lewish and robocop to be one?

so the slummers take robocop through this undertground area and the kid gets this tracking chip out oif him to throw in the water

are they in the sewer? this is like the pahntom of the opera with this undergroudn area

i think a soldier blows the place in the sewer the chip was aNDS 

BUGGING GUY calls lazarus over not putting the mind block chip in or something as the news say robocop iced lewis and joined the rebels

imagine an 1800s robocop where he sides with the confederates?

also; the news making a good guy look bad witryh lies? totally unrealistic!!

so in ocp the things getting f'd and guys are juml;ijng out windoews like its 1929

bugging guy, bradly whitford, b--ches about joinging thwe japoanese company and they see this japanese guy in a meeting with the presidentr who was the dad in freddy got fingered 1

freddys dad fires bradly whitford and this black guy sez to hire guys from the cops as its cheaper than mercenaries

daniel vn bargen from seinfeld is trying to fix robocpp buy dont got the equipment and robocpom sez to find dr LaZARUS

kid goes to ocp and wait i think its the cop place and tells lazarus sheds a friend of robocop and he sez thnx for not taking his memoropes

so the otomo robo races 3 guys and takes em out easy and o h they were rebels

so Lazartus comes by and turns him off to fix him but he wakes up during surgery a few times

then he lists his prime direcvtives and directive 4 of not fighting ocp is deleted and we get a cg tuiunnel of women morphjing into each other like his woman, leiws and lazaris

the kid talks with robocpop about his he used to be called murphy and kid sez cch sez if they hgold out 2 more day, then theyndont gotta move

robocopp goes through his records as i guess hes on the web and sees files of her rents saying they got wacked

otomo steals a poamphet from a store and when the manager obnjects, he uses his katana to slice a sign off\

lazartus seez the prototype of the rocket pack for robocp she made and equips it so we can get a flying level and otomo uses the map he stole in the pamphet and an animatiuon cel thing with a rted line on it to find where the rebvel base is

robocpm gets a memory of lewis and goes of w/o the rocket pack and goes to the ocp place and flame throwerers it, including a box of asplosives which is rtight there for some reason

the flame thrower weas in the master system game too

riobocoip want mcdagget who was in a hidden area as he sez a spy wearned him of it as he talks to the japanese prez with an autotrsanslater on

also when rip torn was talking to the japan prez, they spoke different languages

are they both fluent?

in the motel mcdagget is with this greasy guy from the rtesistanceww who is working for money

robocop saves a teen h--ker from lusty cops and goes to mcdaggets room and seedz the grteasy guy and fires, but they both get away

mcdagget jumps out a window, rolls on the roof, and lands on his feet, only to get to a vbehicle, and robocop takes a p-mp\s ride to chase him

the soldfiers in the vehicle fire on robocop but he returns fire and take em on, but the soldiers use grenades

mcdagget throws money and as dumba55 teens run to get it, robocpop has to stoip

if this were violence jack, hes run em over

at da baSE the greasy guy comes bnack and pulls a gun on em but another guy pulls a gun on him

they realize they are gonna get f'd and run but only rifhtr after they ntoice, does the soldiers come in and nail em

lazarus opens a fense smll enuff for the kifd to get through and she escapes as mcdagget catches laszwerus andf takes her back to find where robocpop is

greasy guy is iced as they didnt wanna pay him and the mcdagget takes over the police station and tells em to clear out the slummers

black cheif dont comnsent and all the cops quit rather than fight the oppressed good guys, unlike soviet canada whwere they attacked the Truckers

so mcdagget makes an offer to the splatterpunks to work for them

after a cartoon add for johnny rehab, we get the news saying robocp iced nuns, but when a reporter sez its bullsh-t, they take it off the air

they got the future right!!

so the kid goes in a buiilding and jacks her laptop in the wires like Penny in Inspector Gadget and her Computer Book and finds wehere lazarus is

lazarus gives the camera the fingfer and swears at em and the splatter punk mad mnax ghang is armed by the company

so the resistance is bummed and the cops come to help em

so robocop comes back after b0ning a super nintendo for the last few hours and finds the otomo robo in the rebel baSE

THEY FIGHT AND THE NImble ninja kicks huis a55 and slices off his fgingers and left arm

left arm offering!

so the punks come and blow cars with something and robocpp uses a grenade cannon to take off robo otomo head

rip torn tells mcdagget to stop but mcdagget pulls a gun on him and takes over

kid meets lazarus from the air bents and tells the peoiple on a private broadcater the truth about the companies and their plans of harming people, which is what would get you barredm from youtube and twitter as its under the control of the bad guys and dont want the TRUTH out

Robocop gets tyhe rocket pack after hearing the broadcast and flies out over the basttle busting tanks

that was in the master system game too

its turbo time!!

so the soldiers come for lazarus but she beats a guy out and takes his gun

ocp stock tanked and robocop busts in the ocp building to arrest mcdagget and cracks another otomo bots head with gunfire

another otomo bot comes in and they team up on robocop and rip torn ditches the company

riboicop is goinna get iced but kid hacks the robots and makes em de head each others

but in 15 seconds, the robots are gonna nuke and robocopp gets in the rocket poack, its roickets cook mcdaggets legs, and he flies off saving the girls as the place nukes

the japanese prez comes in and rip torn ins on the ground  as i guess hes toimmy wiseau and mark taking chris r to the cops fast and rtip torn is fired

the japaeszzene prez bows to robocop and rip tork asks what he is

my friends call me murphy, you call me, robocop!

credits to ep[ic ronocp therme

the end

that ending was actually kinda cool

honest;y, its not bad and has a few good moments

yeah the 1st was the best, but thats kinda how most movies are

for a sequel to a sequel to a hit,m its got some good ideas

it predicted the future well

waoh! Tony Snegoff was in stunts!

The brother of Greg Snegoff from Robotech

the ending where he's Murphy to friends and Robocop tio otyhers is like Mad Bull 34 where he's Sleepy to his friends and Mad Bull to his enemies

the effects were not bad

the story had srtuff that kinda happened later in real life

the acting was decent

i liked it

and the master system game was pretty good too

Glad i saw this

Its better than its given credit for

For Robocop 4 i want it to be after a nucular war between the states and much of the copntinent is a nucular wasteland. Robocop is kept up by salvaging parts  and, nah, better idea, for robocop 4, i want it to be about Lewis being make into a robocop cjhick and she learns the ropes from Robocop tro adapt to the cyberization. also theres a n anti tech group trying to take out robocop and lewis as they see them being part mman part metal as an abomination to their nature goddes they serve and the croco cops gotta take em on. Its also an 8 buit Nes, Game boy, Master system and Game Gear, TG16 Atari Linx and 7800 game wher eyou playn as robocop or CYBER lewis aND take on these eco commies and tneir herb roid powered up mutated bodies.