Sunday, October 18, 2020

Ferris Buellers Day Off Review

 Note; i spell bad but i never skipped school

ferris buelers day off

this is my review on ferris buelers day off from the distant future year of 1986 (The year the fist of the north star and transformers movies came out)

my ents and cool 90s aunt liked it and my rents worried  i''d pull a ferris bueler

but i was a good kid and the other kids in my class were c-ck suckers in the 90s

it stars matthew broderick, alan ruck, mia sara, jennifer grey, jerrery jones, ben stien, kristy swanson, and louie andeerson apartently accordijng to wikiepdea and was directed by john hughes

so it starts with ferris faking being sick and his sister knowing hes faking but hhis rents buy it and let him stay home without a beating

why does nferris have a brittish flag in his room?!

is he a commie?!

so afteer they go he admits to the audience he is taking his 9th sick day and gives tips on how to ake being sick

hes malcontent he dont got a car and is skipping sto avoid a test on european socialism as he dont care

yah but when stalin comes to your town to take you out back and give you a 45 calibur  suppository, you'll care

so ferris calls his home boy cam whos got aids or something and cams  kind of a loser

the school head rooneycalls and tells ferris's mom hes against ferris and wants to hold hom back but mom ont buy it

tthen ferris  hacks the school and changes his records to say he's been out only 2 days

so ben stein gives a boring economics thing and word spreads that he's biting it and needs a new kidney

wtf, this is based on a real guy who skipped 27 days and the dean hunted him

so ferris is the most popular kid in school and helps em a lot like he's king arthur and rooney wants to make an example of him to show breaking the rules gets u f'd

so ferris's gf slone gets word her grandmaa bit it annd whhen roonie is gonna call, he ets a call from solnes dad

thinkng its a trick, he sez they need to show the body as proof and insults him

then ferris callls andd sez hes feeling sick andwants his sister to bring over his missed assignments

roonys look of horror and listeningg to ferris as the music plays and he looks at the call waiting thing is perfect

seeing he f''d up, he sez sorry but it turns out the dad is really cam faking it who sez he wants her out alone but when ferris tells him to change it, 

cam sez he wants roony there and ferris kicks him and after hanging up, cam b--ches a while and ferris has to fix the situation

he decides to usse cams dads prized ferrarri mustang which is loved more than his family as he's got a car fetish and probably b0nes it

they plan to drive in reverse to take off the miles and pick up slone wjo is being comforted by roony who's not a bad guy annd just wants to be a good headmaster

ferris is in a  hat and shades and coat and makes out with slone which makes roony think they are inbreeders (But this is chicagio and they are open to other orientations)

instead of taking da car back, ferris and his droogs go through the civilized areas of chicago as cam rides on the inside of the car w/o a seat belt

the kids in school start a  save ferris hash tag annd collect monry to get him a new kidney from the black market

rooni calls slones home but gets a machine and the place they say tthey can be reached also has a machine

rooni knows ferris is in on it aand wants to f him up

ferris takes the  car to a garage wand this fat like guy gets it to take care of but reallly takes it for a joy ride

at home, ferris's mom coomes home to czech on him but seez a fake human (jinzo ningen) in bed hooked to a pulley system to rhe door and the speakes playing snoring

does ferris snore? if nott, it might be a tip, but it could bethhe cold

ferris asks sloan to marry him and cam b--ches about hs cr-ppy rents

so they go to a restaurant and ferris fakes being abe froman, the sausage king of chicago but the waiter dont buy it

fwrris calls 9 1 1 butanother call comes up and waiter goes to another phone

on da phone, sloane sez shes callling for abe annd desribes ferris and when waiter chex the other line its  cam sayinf hes srt slones dad of da police

so they get the restraunt andferris takes shots at the fruity snooty frenchie waiter

ferriss suster chooses to out ferris and ferris tells how  cam s--cked at home and  likes being sick

srster goes to tell roonie but hes out and at the restaurant outside is reffeis dadand they sneak by as hes tallking to clients

rooniey goes hunting for ferris's a55 lie skinner in tthat simpsons ep with quiny's nephew and sees what looks ikee ferris from behind and sez "yo a55 is mine"

but its really an 80s chick and she squirts him with pepsi

as he cleans up, he misses ferris on  tv at a baseball gamme

spoiler; baseball is gay!!

you watch ants a mile away playing catch

so ferriss's suster cuts class to go home and roony goes to ferris's house  and parks in froont of a hyrdant

at da door he gets a recording of ferris but as he dont give up, the tape replays and tips off roony hes out

roony loses a shoe iin the  mush and turns on a sprilnker and stuffs it under ground by mistake so it'll f their home

meanwhile, rtboy is joyriding chicago wiith his  homie(is  this m c miket g and dj sven?)

rooni finds a doggy door and is gonna break and enter but a big a55 black a55 dog is there and chases his a55

so ferry and his homies go around soviet chicago like a museum having fun and staying outta the slums as the gangs and junkies rule those

btw  i'm watching this is reall full screen so no black bars eatng half the tv

thenn its some german american prode thing and in the cab, camm is malciontent and  they see ferrs'ss dad in the cab net to em

they hide and slone flirts a bit with dadso they tickle herand dad thinksshes nuts

tthen ferris ditches his  homies and sings a german sonng with ggerman chickss in the parade

spoiler; ferris's actor is polish!!

so cam gets bummed as feerris has things going well 4 his a55 amd cam s-cked

then they sing a beatles song and evveryone dances

soo a flowerman brings flowers to ferris's place and roony feeds em to the dog to kill it andsister cimes by and finds the jinzo ningen

roonty sees this and comes in anndwhen they meet ttsne kicks him out and runs upstaiirs thinking hes a deient

at the garage, ferres sez anyone who'd nail him wouldn't go to a parade and they get da car back

sister calls  da cops and the cops say they hope her bro is ok and shhe goes mental

she uses the intercom to say she called the cips and has crotch rot as roony runs after his car being towed

ferris  notifys cam the car has over 3000 miles on it and cam screams for half a min (which i hold my breath through) and cam snapps

at ferris's place a h00ker comes by sent by ferries homies but sister closes the door on her

ferris sez how fhe sees his future with cam and his  lifes gonna s-ck

they go toa pool and cam goes in to suicide at the botttom and ferris pulls is a55 out

remeember in Degrassi Next Gen when that loser Cam committedv seppuku in the green house? Is Ferris Bueler where they got it from??

so cam returns to normal and at the police station forr making a"phoney" cop call, sister meets charlie sheen who's in there for drugs (What a Shock!!) who gives her advice saying not to worry too much about ferris

he suggests talking to ferris bueler and she don't like it

ferris is in with junkies

so at cams place they try hooking the car on a thing and having it run in  reverse but the meter wont go back and ferris wants to hack the gears to hand roll it back

cam has had enuff of this sh-t nd wants to take a stan

then kicks the car a bunch as his dad loves it more than him

man this ferrarri mustang is a real cr-pmobile as it dents fro a few kicks

is that where out run on sega got it from?

eventually the car flys out the back window and smashes

if it were made in Japan it woouldnt f--k out like that

cam can't take it and jumps out the window and gets skewered on a tree branch and slides to the bottom and making moaning sounds as his guts arestrung out

jk really he resolves to deal with his dad for once

so ferriess mom gets sister and the dective se the starion is pulling foor ferris

sister is makng out withcharlie sheen and probably has aids now and they goo home

btw, ferris actor and sisterss actor were dating when filming this

making out with ur sister?! What is this?! Star Wars?!

At least in Robotech Minmei and Kyle were cousins!

Just like Sailor Uranus and Neptune

so ferris se camss ggonna be ok and  makes out with sloane as good 80s music plays and realizes hes gotta get home and runs off

sister nearly  hit and runs ferris and mom is looking at her papers and they race to get home 1st

also ferris nearly is seen by his dad and goes through other opeoples properties

ferries gets home 1st but roony is there and has finally caught him

he slugs ferris out and starts b0ning his butt as ferris wakes up and screams


really he's gonna hold ferris back and sister comes out and seez thanks for driving ferris home from the hospotal and sends ferris upstairs and sez she has his wallet so if roony reveals he caught ferris, he'd get booked for breaking and entering

the the dog comes back and b0nes him

ferris makes it back in bed in time and his rents come in thinking he''s been in bed all day

this is like the one time the kid gets away with lying and chheeting

then as the film ends, roony rides the bus and sees Rooony Eats It and Save Ferris as the Duffman song from the Simpsons plays

The end

then ferris  sez "the movies over, go home"

that was grand

classic 80s fun and heart

good music and feels

nice mild story thats not too overcomplex and has good flow

i saw it a bunch b4 and it holds up

For Ferris Bueller's Day Off 2 I want cam's dad to ssnap and have chopped him up and cooked and eaten him. then he goes to the school to take out ferris. There, he meets Roony who upon hearing hthey both hate ferris, wants to team up. But when Roony finds cams dad wants to aste him, he kicks him in the crotch and warns ferris. They escape to the slums of Chicagge andgotta fight their way through junkies and gangs to avoid the berserk dad and fight him every now and then as you head to Ferris's secret base where his arms dealer contsct has mech power suit armor to finally finish the dad. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Ataro Jaguar and GBA where you play as Ferris or Roony.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Turbo Review

 note; i tupe fast


this is my revirew on turbo from 2013 (the year after the 1st robotech war and the mayan apocalypse)

it stars ryan reynoklds. pual giamatti, damleyu l jackson, bill hader, snoop doogg, ben schrawrtz, michalle rodriguez, kurtwood smith, and a unch more

i nver saw this bb4 but its started and i gotta dget it on

so it starts with a nascar thing and a snaiil watching a vhs tape of ity 

snail wants to be fast even though he's a snail

he trains to work att becoming faster ven though theres no slime trail

remember that kids show franklin ith all the animals are named adter their species?

bear, goose, beaver, ect

well snail i think qwas meant to be a cripple

worst idea; franklin; the movie! its a darker edgier take on the series. franklin is a bada55 snapping turtle with battle scars. bear is the muscle of his group. snail is a guy who is missing his arms and legs but is a master strategist. they are fighting daemons in a post apocalyptic future and use big guns that shoot hexagram and swastika bullets to kill the daemons. they fight in battle mech armor exosuits and are fighting to free the planet from being slaves to the daemons.

so kater  the sanils are geting toomatoes and they keep splattering

who cares if they spltter?! they eat with their feet!!

main snail named turbo like the reboot guy  races a tomato as it rolls

so turbo is disgruntled over being made fun of for wanting to be fast and his fat homie wants him to accept his fate

one way out! (puts gun in mouth)

a toddler goes by on a tricycle and the snails fear it as it might eat em like phil and lill from rgrats or w/e but turbo isnt afraid

later turbbo is watchhing tv (and itd a real tv, not thhose widescreencr-pmobiles) and it falls off the thing

so later a tomato rolls in the yard and they fear gettign it cuz the gardener is coming out

buncha candya55es!

so turbo eats time narrating b4 going to get th tomato as the gardener mows da lawn

he reaches it but the mower is gonna get him  and the other slug s save him with a garden hose blast

how did these dinks use a hose?!

so turbo is bummed out over  not being fast and wanders the neighborhood at night

then a bunch of homies jump him and start b0ning him all at once!!


so he truys witshing on a star but its really a jeet and he gets knocked around an area w/o breaking as snail shells are totally tough

he lands on a car hood and its a drag race and he feels speed (which should dry him out and kill him)P but gets sucked into the engine (which should kill him) and the nitro boost (which should kill him) gives him super powerrs

what is he?! dr manhatten from the watchmen?!

so the next day he wakes up and is in the place greased lightening fought  the other car in grease woth olivia newton john travolta and now he has eyes that work as flashlights and his a55 has lights on i

what is this?! earth worm jim?!  has he evolved?!

he goes home and at a meeting he plays radio and spazzzes out

the toddler tries to crush him (illing small aniamls for fun? he's gonna be a seriel killer) and turbo can move fast like he's the flash or quicksilver or the whizzer or w/e

after beating the otddler, he drives the tricylce and plows into the snails  home and the elders fire turbo and fata55

fata55 snaps and tells turbo off for being a dink and gets caught by a crow and turbo saves him after soome crows firhgt for him

just  likie land before time, the plant eaters are civilized and the intelligent predators are just animals

then this fata55 mexican catches em (is this soviet california?!) and take sem to this snail race where its like a prison and the snails all have shells with car parts on em

don't drop the soap

btw; in the 90s dub of sailor moon; melvin; i'll miss my snail watching club and i;m the only member!

so turbo whizzesaround at light speed and  and impresses em but fata55 homie thinks he's f;d and needs to be fixed

fata55 meico's bro  b---ches at him for nnot working and snail racing and fata55 mexico is shown to be a dreamer like turbo

so fata55 mexicano puts turbo to bed and the other prison gang snails come out and invites him to join their crew

he mouthhs off to em and they race to this star sigh  and the gang snaills get launched into a cable and grind it withsome kinda boosters in their shells and win

so laterfata55 mexico puts up a sign about the fast snail at their taco hut and wastes time waiting soome something to happen

so fata55 snail whines about turbbo being there and fata55 meico thinks fata55 snail is turbos gf and he bite him

spoiler; snails are hermaphrodtes and to breed, they fight and the losr has to be the girl

1st; thts like somthing outta 4hchans D thread

2nd; snails dont got teeth

so fat meico wanyts to enter a snail in the indy 500 and bro thinks its sh-t

as theres no rules against snails entering

wasnt therre a sonic ep where he raced that guy in a car?

so later turbo gets some car parts added to his shell to somehow go faster

so they go to the iindy 500 anc a car goesd 230 miles prowler

so fata55 mexico wants to register turbo but dont get it

the racer turbo likes is giving an interview  and turbo drivves over in fata55's pocket and fata55 introduces him and all laffs

then turbo whizzes around adimpresses all and makes 226 mmiles prowler

whats he powered byy? and how can he go fast if he's in fata55es pocket?!

so a wiener kid films it on his ell phone and spreads it in the internet likebutt damage among millennials and turbo becomes a hit

the ownwer of the indy 500 sez he wont let turbo in as hes a snail and thats racist, but the hero driver snail likes, stands uup for him and popular demand changes the official decision

so the mini mall plazza where the taco guys and their droogs work gets attention and fata55 snail sez its nnot safe as he's a snail and dont think he can do it

turbogoes and sees the heros car and chats with him and seems siinister for wanting to win a race that turbo is in

why is he bad?! they are doing the exact same thing?! trying to win a race!!

so its race day and fat55 snail gets caught by a kid and watches the race with him

the race happens but turbo is mallcontent and uneasy and after going through the puit crew, the samuel l jackson snail se; ur not a car so stop driving like 1

so he drives on the walls and under cars and does better and soon is catching up to hero but hero drives so debris flys into turo and he crashes

i guess hes got super endurance as he didnt splaytter and it looks like its over, but turbo goes back in the race

his powrs jerk on and off and he eventually is gonna get crushed by hero but rides in the whee and takes thr lead

hero trys to ice turbo but cuases a pile up

turbo wakes up and hsi shell is cracked (which should kill him) and there goes hs powers

he gievs up even through he's like a few feet from the end and fta55 homie gets the gon-ds to encourage his hoomie

he escapes and rides a balloon and does ninja movies to evade stuff and the gang snail homies ride crows so get them thereand encourage turbo to finish da race

somehow, the stands see this snail moving a mile away and cheers but hero starts pushing his cr-pmobile as it griinds on the pavement

as he's losing h openly trys to kill the snail but snail rools and wins

he lst to a crippled snail

worse than me being beat by a blind kid in yugioh

so the plazza guys get good business  and the snails in da garden get equip cards on their shells to be garbagemen or w/e and the snails are gonna race

fata55 meexicann gives turbo a new shell but he's healed

the gang snails have ricket boosters in their shells and they all rocket to the camera

then the title like its avatar

the end

then credits showing who was playing who to hip hop

that wasnt so bad

nice mild tvg kids movie

nothing too harsh or evil

it has some color and decent cg

for a lite kids movie, its not bad

and its decent acted and has good music and message

not realy hateablee

I kinda like these 2010s cg movies

forr turbo 2 i want turbo to start mutating into some kind of HP LoveCraft/ La Blue Girl abomination as an after effect of the thing that gave him powers. aso the gov is after him to try to use him to makke a thiing of speed sldiers to takke over America. And he goes around the country to get to their base and bbeat em. Also its a 16 bit Sega Genesis, Snes, Atari Jaguar, Tg16 and GBA game where you solve puzzles and fght gov guys woyyh mutation powers from being experimented on.

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Brighton Rock Review

 Note: I spell bad but in Engkand its good (Cuz soviet england is bozzzarro world to America)

Brighton Rock

this is by review on Brighton Rock from the distant future year of 1948

its been remaade closer to the book its based on but i hear this one was better

its been banned in new south wales (i don't know what that is) cuz its too much for the candya55es who live theere

show those dinks urotsukidoji eith chcks tentacled til they rupture!!

they'd spazz out and die!

it stars Richard Attenborough from jurassic park 1 2 and a recording in world, and no one else i recognize

its directal by johnny Boulting who did a buncha cr-p i never heard of

i never saw this b4 but its on tv and as its too bada55 for soviet england, i otta watch it

this was also ratch 16+ in soviet france, iceland and norway and 18+ in the netherlands

oh and its banned in sweden cuz they're a buncha wieners

its written by graham greene who was not mr crabby apple tree in udley the dragon and the guy in die hard 03

so it starts with clips of the fim showing who plays who and a scrolling text sayingg the place its set is good now but in the 30s was mad ma or detroit

so a paper sez a gangster is found wacked in some place and this thin moustache guy tell his homie about an article thats gonna f this guy named pinky

he showws it to pinky (richart attenborroew)

later these brittmoes go to a guy named fred like the scooby doo guy and are gonna f him up

he has a last drink amd the britmoes bust some glasses and leave after paying

oh and the article said this gguy named fred is going around town and if you guess its him u win a prize of cash

and the fred nearly f'd was not him i think and pinky wants revenge on fred

ait i think it is fred and he runs through town to escape and gets on a boat but the britmoes find him

they go off as theres too many witesses and fred chats with some chick

he goes around an amusement part and gets wacked somehow(i wasnt paying attention)

so the britmoes are working for pinky and thin moustache is one of em and they have these cards freddy was gonna hand out

so pinky goes oyt to a restaruant annd meets a chick aand they have a nice moment

oh and pinky had his homies hand out cards as an alibi for him not being where fred was when he got wacked somehow

in a bar a fat chick in a clown costme goes a pasychic thing to choose random letters to solve the case and  she sez its a message from fred

later pinky chats with another chick (or maybe its the same one) and se a chick who went against da mom got her face chopped up

spoiler; scars are bada55

thry go inside and its revealed both are Catholic anf piny knows of h e double england

so later pinky slashes a guy in da face with a straight razor as da guy sez he's got protection and pinky and his droogs leave

oh and the chick in the restarunant saw one of pnkys homies pplant the card there and piky knows

so pinky meets a guy with napoleons furniture who has a lot of cash andchick meets the fat chick who asks about who left the card

chick sez she dont recall and calls pinky who just left

so da cops get a visit from fat chick who sez chick knows something and fred was afraid of a guy she saw at the station

but they say the case is closed

pinky meets chick at an amusement part and sez feeddy is dead but she sez the fat chick knows

so later at da race ttrack piky has the guy who hick saw leaving the card iced at a braawl he starts

at home he tells chick he was defending his friend and thin moustache comes by and a guy comes by to see inky

pinky wants to marry chicj and the carc guy comes bback alive butpinky shoves his a55 down a gap n the stairs that go around the walls

a witness is gonna book it but pinky sez to say it was an anccident

it was pretty bada55 how he fell and slanmmed

so they get married i think and pinky makes a recording of his voice saying "you want me to say i love u, but really i hate you you little sl-t"

they goo to a hotel or w/e for their honey moon and fat chick is there and sez the 2 L's in her message meant they kiLLed fred

she pieces together the facts of who wacked who and later, at the gang place, main guy(i forgot hisname, oh wait. pinky) admits to thin moustache he wacked the guy and thn moustache getts p-ssed as i guyss they were b0ning

so chick is met by fat chick who wants to help her escape pinky and tell da cops da trooth but she dont consent

pinky comes home and sees her leaving and goes up and chickk wrote a love note for him as he did the record she never heard but thinks is a love note

so fat chick gets mpre info on the case and piky is worried chick might betray him and wants to ice her to keep her from telling

she comes back and he tells her he wants to book it and she gets upset as she actually cares for him even if he's the bad guy

so pinky goes out with chick and fat chick sees em and tells da cops he's got a  gun in his pocket (which in america is a right but in soviet england is a crime)

so i think pinky is gonna suicide and gets her to cap herself even though she knoes its a sin

she say a prayer and just like in birth of a nation with the good guys heading to save the day, the cops come as shes gonna o it andshe throws the gun away

the cops come for him and as he dont wanna drop the soap, he spazzes out and falls into the water and seemingly bites it

later she's all f'd up and wants to go to h-ll to be with him(thats not how it works, you are each in your own dark hole in there being f'd a lot) and a nun sez pinky loved her and thats some kind of hope

she plays the record and it skipps when it sez "i love you" and don't say the mean stuff

then it zooms in on the cross to show her salvation and the credits roll

the end

but in the book it played the full message

i liked it and felt this had some good stuff in it

dark and gritty ans the main character is kind of the villain like a loon chaney movie

good Catholic themes of not suiciding

the girl is innocent and a kind soul and has purity even with pinky's evil

good b/w and full screen look and its kinda bada55

i can see how some 40s dinks might not take it, but its owhere near as rough as 80s things

h-ll the 60s had the last house on the left

this was a well made film and holds up

for Brighton Rock 2 i want it to be ww2 and piky has been found tohave survived the fall and was swept out to sea and an italiano boat saved him. he lost his memory and has been living in italy under the italian stallion; mussolinni! then its ww2 and he is sent on a mission to take out a deviant brittish general who captures italianoes and uses them as butt slaves and he finds the chick he was married to is a maid for him and she tells him she was married to him. his memory is gone but he feels a connection so he believes her words about him. also he works with her to bring down the deviant general and they escape to italy. its also an 8 bbitgame boy, nes, master system, game gear, tg16 atari 7800 and lyxn game where you go around in a metroid vania setting and sneak through the generals evil castle with men devolved into maniacs from beign butt hammered toomuch and they crawl around on all 4's as their butts were destroyed.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Rumor Has It Review

 note; i''m rumored to spell good

Rumor Has It

this is my review on roomer haz it from the distant future year of 2005 (When Transformers the movie happened and 4 years b4 Robotech Season 1 got going)

its directed by rob reinwr who does good sh-t like prooncess bride

it starz jrnnifer aniston, kevin ciostner (good! i get to spell his name bad again) shirly mcclane and dat commie mark ruffalo

i never saw it b4 but heard it s-cked hard

so it starts in 1963in soviet celifotrnia when this 21 year old guy b0ned a 42 year old 5kank and was dating her daughter and the daughter married another guy

then a book on the story o these lusty freaks was made by a classmate of the guy and people wonderd who it was as the names were changed to protect the lusty

it later becaome the dustin hoffman moive the graduate and in 1997 jenny the bat from friends and leperachaun 01is on a plane with gay hulk and worries about crashing

they are engeged and going to someones weeding and she sugggets b0ning in the bathroom

imagine him hulking out an b0ning her

rachell; no hulk! stop b00ning me with your big green d0ng!!

hulk; hulk kknow girl man likes hulks broccoli! now here comes the cheeze!!

rachel; hulk! nooooooooooo!! (asplodes in a spray of pale green goo)

so they try bathroom b0ning and f'd it up and she gets whiney about the wedding (peach angel blade) and how she dont fit in

so this movie is about losers?

so back on urth, she sez theres tunnels they hold their breath to drive through foor fun and she gives a list of things not to talk about with her fam

she meets jeeny's dad and go to societ pasadena and go to da home an meet da famm and sister is bubbly and her bf is her slave

so laater they have deener and jen-tai chats with her granny about how she fears marrage

so dadgives a speech and i went to get my mac and cheese so i think i missed soome

so jenner sees her grandma (the oother chick wasnt he i gess) and its revealed she b0ned some guys and grandma realizes her daughter did something

when driving, jenny callls hulk on a cellphone and tells him to get da graduate and when he brings it, she sees its by charlie webb, and puts together that tthe graduate is baed on her life and the beau or w/e guy is her real dad

maury; you are NOT da father!

black guys; ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

so after da weeding jenno tries to find the guy said to be her real dad and hulkmo joins her in her quest

hulkmo finds kevin costner (hay! I spelled it eigytt!!) annd sshe goes to c him in a speech thing he gives

hulk tal to keniv cotsnorr  about business and hes the beua guy she was loking 4

so she sez her mom is in h-ll and they go get drinks and talk aboit the graduate

kenij cotsitn sez the book changed sh-yt and hes a dropout boy

wtf, hulk called her and is somewhere else, i guess dat guy talking to him wasnt hlk

so she asks if he b0ned her mom b4 da weeding and he sez yes and she isnt like her birth dad

he sez he broke his b-lls in a soccer game in school

so she gets all whiny and scieiner kevin takes her drinking and tells his life story of drugs and b0ning

they dance and ashe axes about da weedend he b0ned her mom and he sez they hing out and one day she went to pasadena to get married

after she takes a whiz in the little grls room, she goes back and makes out with him

then wakes up in his bed after being b0ned by him a lot

she sees photoes of him with president clin ton (the raepist) and castro (the murder/commie/dictator) and goes to have coffee with him

he drivves heraround and takrs her on a plane flight and she's f'd that he b0ned her mom, her grandma and her

just like that spinger ep; grandma stole my boyfriend!!

so hulk aids calls around to find jenny the bat and shes in wine country with keeveen costrere who invites her to a charity ball like in the bodyguard with that AIDS spreader diner

at there he points out all the freaks he knows who own hunks opf soviet california

at da party they talk aboit movie and da graduste comes up bt they dont finger em

so waiit, is this the graduate gx?

maybe GT

maybe like that book by bram stokers great grand nephew where dracula the book is part of it

so nevik reosert goes to do business cr-p and a guy who looks like ryan from cinemassacre hits on her

hes reveaued to be kegin serters son and she worried she got b0ned by her dad like those woody allen asians

imagine art of kid chichi from dragon ball throwing her heead boomerang through his crotch and he sez "I always knew I'd lost the rest!!"

as he likes em young and asian

maybe have pan from gt burning em off with a ki blast

kefing destoin reveals he used someone elses j-zz tomake da son and she sez sorry for thinking he'd b0ne his daughter

shhe makes out with jevin dostien and hulkalo comees by and sees andgets mad at her cheeting on him with her dad

you know she's probably got aids now from all the chicks her dad was wirth

so hlk mo ditches her and she goes back to her fam and this chick who i thought was her mom and her spazz out over her b0ning keeveemo costmo

meanwhileher dad calls as her sister is --ching out and after yelling on da fone, jenmo comes to comfort her blonde possubly bimbo saster who can't recall her mom as she was 4 when she got it

also she had an autism attack thinking she f'd her life marryingher bf

jennu comforts her and reveals she got b0ned by the guy wh0 b0ned mom and grandma and sister thinks iys dad

is this the media's way of softening us up to accept inbreeding?

that and star wars wih luke making outy with leia

and voltage fighter gowcaizer with the twins who inbreed

weird how gowcaizer was made in 96 and set in 2017 and this movie was made in 2005 and set in 97

then we got rini having a weiird hing with darien in sailor moon

so not mom comes out and i finally figgered out she'ss the grand ma and she clashes with kebiin hostnot over b0ning them and the fam comes out

dad reveals hes the guy who neutered kegin gosting in the soccer game and grandma laffs

keegan michael key costnet reveals he was awake when mom left and was crying and jenny sez she outlived her mom by a year so far

so she sez bye to him and blnde sister goes off for her honney moone

rachel chats with dad and he sez he knew about her b0ning keffin coostnor and was ok with it as he got her in the end

thats how aids spreads dude

also he b0ned her the night she came back and made her

she whines about not being like him and goes off on a plane

it turns out j fk jr is fluying it and slams into the ocean as he knows he can't resist his demon blood from his grandps joey and knows his cursed bloodline must end

jk she goes to soviet new york and goes to see da hulk

wait, kevin freotst was supermans dad in the dcau and mark barfalo is the hulk in the mcu

jonny kent b0ned the chick bruce banner was b0ned

so hulkmo goes on a tirade about some cr-p i dont care about and she sez she wants to marry him

he gets b--chy and she sez she wants him and is gay for him and leaves

she takes da elevator and he is at da bottom of da stairs b4 her somehow as i guess hes the whizzer or the flash or quicksilver too

he sez if they have a daughter he d0nt want kevin justice in her and she sez it stops with her

then they get married as credits rool

the end

that wasnt so bad

wtf, barbara gordon?

batgirl/the 2nd commissioner in batman beyond/ the oracle in the bad timeline?!

over alll i thought it was good

a nice mild lite not  harsh 00s movie

the acting was good and the characters had good mements

a good GT kinda

for rumor has it 2 want it to be the 2010s and sshe has a daughter whos a yteen and woonders f kevin costner is her dad. she goes to se him and they b0ne, but, ten its revealled his parts weren't broken and jennifer aniston and her and his inbred kids and they take it to a maury/spiiringer show to deal with. aalso its a 32 bit gba, sega saturn ps1 dating sim wgere you play as the teen and choose whuch guy to be with and theres like 6 other guys you're dating at the same time cuz shes a 5kank

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Robotech The Shadow Chronicles Review

 Note: My spelling will be historically accurate in a few years

Robotech The Shadow  Chronicles

This is my review on Robotech The Shadow Chronicles from the istant fture year of 2006

I saw this a few times and even though the fans hsated it, i thought it wasnt too bad

I got into Robotech around college when this movie came out as the Space Channel in Soviet Canada aired all the original eps of Robotech over a few weeks b4 this was aired

I saw on the TV listings channel Robotech was on and remembered playing my neighbors Game|Cube Robotech Battlecry years ago and thought I'd check it out

So if it weren't for that Gamecube Game, I might not have gotten into it

I thought the series was good sci fi, not just a cool 80s show like thundercats or transformers, but up with star trek and star wars if it were good

so unlike dragon ball evolution and jem and the holograms, this is canon to the 80s series, kinda like the transformers 80s movie

it stars the guys who were in digimon and mon colle knights and was animated by a bunch of koreans

is this Anime? I mean its made for america so maybe not

so after orchestral music and a trip through a ccg solar system, we get text saying its 2044 and the earth was taken over by aliens and now a new generation of space born humans returns to reclaim their peoples home

2 humanz, 1 played by sasuke from naruto, are on a recon mission andnearly get caught by the enemy

btw the humans are done in 2d art and the mechs are 90s cg

but its not a55 like transformers energon (that show freakin s-cked!!)

sasuke thinks about how alien tech came to earth and caused several wars with various aliens and now earth is taken over

thats the thing about robotech; its not, lion-o beats skeleton who runs away screaming COBRA RETREAT!!

the good guys lose just as much as, if not motre than, they win

but there's not really a bad" guy, but more like several sides fighting for what they think is right with good and bad elements and choices made on both sides

but you can still kinda see their pov

like how even though anatole leonard was a harda55 whotried to win with full force attacks, you gotta rememver, he saw his planet gang nuked by the enemy

so after fighting for years and becoming the supreme commander, you can understand how he'd not wanna try diplomacy when it seemingly failed the last time

so sasuke goes on about how his sister marlene got iced trying to free earth from the invid oppression and wanted to get married to her bf scotty after saving da urth

so sasuke and hs homie return to their moon base andhave soe cola as drinking in miitary bases leads to no good

also we see maia sterling, playd by angewomon, in tight opants and a tank top and she's 1st shown with a buttshot

theres a lot of those in here, its like dbgt or something

so after the general breifs the fores on their mission, they reveal that if they cant beat off the invid, they'll have to use the neutron s milliles and destroy da earth

on a surface this seems extreme, ut remember, they just spent like 20 years fighting the invid across a bunch of solar systems andknow how dangero they can be

ironic, as humans were nrearly wiped out in 1 war, and now might do the same to the enemy on their past planet

so vince grant, played by metaletemon wants to go on a mission to find the SDF 3 and right them, it calls em with the hero of season 1, rick hunter, played by lupin III on te screen

cuz of legal reasons, they cant use any season 1 characters like minmei or lisa hayes as minmei is the same name in japan and lisa hayes is too close to misa hayase(although can't they call her llisa hunter as she married rick?)

but rick hunter sounds nothing like hikaru ichijo and this is like 30 years after his last season appearence so he looks different

at least they didnt change his name and turn him nlack like j d salinger in field of dreams

so rick sez they're testing the new stuff and  to not delay the nission to beat the invid but something f's out and the transmission cuts off

vince grant, dad of bowie from season 2 and brother of claudia from season 1, is sent on a secret rescue mission to ricks last coordinates and works with louie nichols from season 2 on the starship Icarus

didn't icarus die when he got too cocky and fell a mile to splat??

great thing to name your ship after!

then agan they named boats after J FK so...

meanwjile, later, sasuke badly flirts with maia and everyone laughs at him

so the commander of wolf squadron is played by mark hammil, best known as the joker in batman, and luke skinlicker from that 70s movie, flesh gordon 

the humans havve theeir fighters equipped with cloaking devices that prevents the enemy from tracking the, but they can just use their optics and fight old school

so the battle happens and maiia saves sasuke but the humans aint doing so hot

btw, to get a pg rating, the added a small bit of swering, mostly H-ll and D---, and 1 a55

meanwjile, ssasuke's sisters bf scottty is on earth and his new gf is a humanoid invid princess

so she chats with scotty and sez she needs to tell the invid queen, the regess, to stop the war, and goes to the main invid hive to tell her queen creator to stop it

btw, in season 1; an earth human and  alien chick fell in love

in season 2, an earth human and alien chik fell in love

but in season 3, an earth alien and spwce born human fell in love

they flipped it!!

oh and this wholee; trying to eason with the regess, was different in the 80s show and they remade the last ep or 2 and that had more characters

so they talk about how the invid taking over earth was like their ancient foe driving the from their 1st homeworld and the humans are using the past fes tech so they cann;t team up

so after like a in of talking, the regess chooses to take all the earts  protoculture, that the humans use as a power source for their tech, and ditch earth

meabwhile, grant''s ship arrives at the secrtor where rick was and its got a black hole

thry escape using some sci fi technobabble and their cloaking thing is f'd

they find the sdf 3 and a science ship and rick calls em saying the neitraon s missile test caused the black hole and f'd out their ships

rick tells em to tell the fleet not to use te missiles and  suddenly, the icarus gets attacked by a new enemy force thats undetecrable but can be seen with visuals

coommunications are jammed (jJaAm )and vince wants to get the SDF 3 and science ship close and space fold to earth with em to arn the fleet

back at the eatrth battle,mark hammil gets it and pukes blood b4 blowing apart (gotta get that pg rating) and the humans are getting f;d

so general orders the neutron s milliles to nuke da earth

btw, why didnt the sentinels help em?

the humans spend decades freeing their homeworlds from the invid but they wont help the humans?

so the regess recognizes the neutron s missiles as a weapon she saw b4 and offers to bring ariel (the invid chick, not da mermaid) with the rest of the invid, but she wants to stay with the humans

regess turns into a big phoenix thing and telephazes  the invid  on earth to anotherr world to evolve into higher lifeforms, and takes out the neutron s missiles

btw there are these creepy guys who keep showing up in the shadows and want to wipe out all who use protocultture as directed by this supercomputer the awareness

now i did read the robotech ii the sentinels comiics and, while not fully canon for now, painted a different picture of the awareness than this

unless it changed from being f'd by janice

meanehile, grant has equipped the science vessile and is nearing the sdf3 but when its about to spacce fold, an enemy ship kaikazes the sdf 3 and knocks it outta range

not wanting to wait a few more seconds, vince books it

meanwhile, lster, its night and scotty reunites with ariel, but wants to leave her so he can convince the human forces not to ice invid anymore

also he's worried as his crew and 1st gf bit it and he dont want her to aswell

so the humans regroup and they only have less than a year of protoculture left

and without the protoculture matrix on the sdv3, they cant make more

then why did you send the ship wit it to test the new superweapon?!

i mean yeah, they were told it was safe, but why risk it?!

so sasuke(whos name is marcus like 50 cent in get rich or die trying) is bummed commander luke got it and wishes they could wipe out all aliens

but didnt he grow up in an interstellar war with like a half dozen races of space monster?

maybe thats why he hates em, he got sick of em!

maia comes by saying she's half alien and if they wiped ouyt all aliens, sasuke would have been killed by the invid

OBJECTION!!  with no aliens, no invid either and he'd not be in danger!!

also wolf squad and skull squad get merged cuz of all the guys getting it and they work for her now

also sasuke's homie is gay for her and seems to have some SM interests in her

suddenly, the icarus and the new foes arrive and vinnie gets leg damage from the ship being hit somehow

so scotty shows up andtakes em out old school and communications are restored

vin diesel tells em not to use the missiles but learns they were stopped

they go to the moon base and vinces wife, who's a dr, treats his broken leg and they put off the rescue mission for the sdf 3 as they figure, if it got its space fold stuff back, it would've foded out by now

why not send another ship?!

so sasuke recognizes scotty and is glad to see him as he heard scottys divisoin got wiped out

scotty tells him sasukes sister bit it and they go to get changed as scotty was wearing that same outfit sine he left for earth years ago (it must really stink!!)

meanwhile, louie and maia check the science ship and there's no survivors (exedore no!!!) and louie finds JANICE M, a female robot with a hoologram projector to fake being a curvy chick

meanwhile, ariel on earth has a vision of the ancient for, the shadow childrencoming to destroy the humans, so she teleports to space(cuz she can totally do that)

meanwhile, luouie is developing a crush on the robot chick like its cutey honey andf she reveals it was the haydonites who gave the huamns the tech to make the neutron s missiles and her

also the haydonites told the humans to keep the word of their help secret

then maia  came in thinking they were gonna b0ne or somthing and they go to get some chow

people say the chicks in this movie have huge t-ts, but after eiken, jungle de ikou and nami sos, they dont seem that huge to me

in the mess hall scott tries an alien drink and it tastes like cr-p

he tells sasuke and homie that he fought with a group on earth and then he meets louie from season 2

just like in the sentenels where anatole leonard  met rick and lisa

sasuke reveals he has a holooendent and each tim he wacks an invid, he carves a notch in it (total 29 now)

then ariel comes in wearing a univfrom and has viet nam flashbacks at what sasuke just said abotu wasting 29 invid

then janice sings a minmei song and all the guys look at her cuz they are hetero and maia is disgruntled at guys finding someone hot

what is she? a feminist?

so meanwhile, ariel shows scotty a vision of the 1st invid planet in ruins from the shadow kids and if humans rust em, its da earths future

also the shadow kids fear protocuulture and wiipe out any users of it

whats going on with the sentinels planets now?

are they attacking them now?

so vince is bummed he couldnt save rick and his wife fixed his broken leg

also skull squadron is reassigned witn vinces group aand they know about janice, who dsapite being a part of the sentinels campaign from the start, they dont recognize her as they saw get get it to stop edwards and she never told em this is her neew body, despite having the same name

so sasuke walks in on scotty with glowingariel and knows shes invid somehow

as far as i know, the invid didnt have these powers until after evolving on earth and sasuke was never on earth, nor knew of this

so sasuke fights scoty and thinkd scortys a traiter and might've sold his crew out to the invid

to be fair, jonathan wolfe did  so it might be  a callbackk

instead of killing him, sasuke  outs scotty togeneral and scotty tells his story and it looks kinda cool

btw, scotty is played by greg snegof who was in wicked city, rei and wiggle in hokuto no ken the movie, andlike 9 other guys in robotech

vince believes scotty but genral dont and thinks the haydonties ae his ally

then one of their bases loses contact and louie recognizes the jamming as the kind rom b4

btw, losing contact with a space base was how season 2 started

vince sees scotty and ariel just pops in as she can phaze through things now and after she sez she has visions, he believes her and they teleport to the ship

so the humans remaining forces atack the new enemy who blows through their forces easy

the humans fire their synchro cannons but the enemy uses a disruptor wave to screw up their synchro cannons and cloaong devices and the human ships blow

then vinces shipp arrives and 89% of the human forces are iced and vinny plays it cautious and dont go in

louie found a way to ngate the jjamming and they send in skull squadron to check out the foe

louis figgerz out how the cloakng device is f ing them and vince has em turn of ftheir shadow device and go to pull into the space base

homie goes to hold off the enemy fightersbut when he tries his synchro cannon, his fighter f's out andhe kamikaze's intto the fighters instead of ejecting and blows it to dust

now they know not to use em and vince realizes anything the haydonites gave em is a trap (like the commies and their phone tech) andd has jannice arrested for being part haydonite

good way of showing how even the good guy characters can make choices that seem bad

also; is this a thing on german and japanese canadians being rounded up into camps in ww2?

also her being the  only survivor from the science ship makes him ssuspect (even though shes a robot and not alive so since the ship tanked the missile test, she should've too)

the haydonites in cloaks are after the protoculture matrix and detect janiice in the space station and send dudes

at the station, vince orders they go to a ship without the cloaking device and they find a colony sjip without armorments

also maia fins some super shadow fighter prototypes that dont got cloaking deviices installed andthey use em to hold ooff the dudes to buy time for louis to turn on the colony ship

areil warps the crew to the new ship andd scotty and vinny go to use a neuton s missile to nuke the space sttation to take out the hayydonites attacking

yeah cuz wasting a massive space base to stop a buncha ships is a god move

its not lie they have more of em or anything

aas janice is being tanek to the brig, haydonite mechs attack looking like dreamcast cgi and take out the guards

a haydonite comes oyt and sez she was only told wat was needed to get the humans to do the haydonite plans and they want her to tell them where the protoculture matrix is

galvatroon; magnus! i want the matrix!!

she dont consent and is gonna get iced but scotty and vinny save her and take em out

vince reconsiles with janice as if the haydonites want her j fk'd she mus be good

yeah bit they wanted the invid gone too

so skull squad takes on the dudes and vinny authorizzs the mussiles to go

on his access screen he's said to be 36, enen though he was in the service in the 00s, had a son in 2013 and this is set in the not so distant future yar of 2044

although in some canons  theirr expedition in the 2020s caused a time warp that made they skip 5 years there and 5 years back

they get to da ship and take off in a ship called the Ark Angel (which is a popular name i robotech) but the baddz are after em and skull squad takes em on

maia gets hit and ejects ND sasuke gets her, but he gets hit and throws her  as he chooses to fight annd die

ariel sennses sasuke and phazes outto save him as the missles blow and the haydonites and ark angel space fold

how do the hsydonites fold wthout protoculture?!

i mean tthey hate it so them using it would be ironic

are their ships powered by peat moss?!

so marcus is in h e double heaven and sees his sister whho sez its not his time (so there's an Afterlife in Robotech? I mean they mention God several times, even in the 80s show, so maybe) and he wakes up on the ark anhel as areil saved him

hs surprized she saved him even hough he hates das invido and she sez hate  only makes more hate (so the punch a nazi guys are wrong?)

they return to earth space and general sez based on the info thrry got from janice, the sdf 3 and protoculture matri are probably not destroyed and the humans need em to save the universe

general sends vince to look for the sdf 3 like its robotech 3 the oddysey and maia comforts sasuke for all his homies and fam getting it

she sez most of her fam was on the sdf 3 (even dana?? is this how the titan comics got it from?)

scotty smooches ariel with connsent and louis says to comfort janice they will win, and she sings the minme song as da cridits roll as we ecape the silar  system and galaxy (eyes photon dragon)

the end

that wasnt so bad

pretty decent 00s movie

clean enough for kids but cool and srs enough for adults, with a bit of humor

yeah its got some continuity errors and some stuff could be better, but i thought it was decent

yea its not as well animated as the 80s robotech movie thats outta print and the ultra epic animayion macross do you remember love

but for a 00s anime style movie and considering the budget they had, its pretty good

would''ve been nice to have more charaters fromthe 1st few seasons but they  had em in the comic prelude to the shadow chronicles

the music is pretty good and its got a bit o aa gamecube feel to the art and animation

i liked it and it would be nice if we got more of these anime style robotech movies

for robotech the shadow chronicles 2 i want them to go to the planets with the  sentinels and find the haydonites have attacked thhem and wiped most of them out. they band together and launch a united strike force against the haydon wolrd but it dons;t work. out of options, they find the invid on another world and make a pact with them to stop the haydonites and use hybrid human/invid tech to fight the haydonites. also several menbers of the sentinels races have dcided to turn invid and devolvved themselves in the genesis pits to gain new abilities and they use the remaining inorganics to lead a streike force of hybrid inorganic veritechs and inorganic destroids and take on the cyber world of haydon. also its a 128 bit gamecube, xbox, ps2 and dreamcast game where you play as a new recruit and choose your race and mech and do misions based on what you chose

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Scarlet Street Review

 Note I synchro Summon Scar Red Nova Dragon in Attak Mode! Its effect lets me spel bad!

Scarlet Street

This is my review on scarlet strert from the distant future year of 1945 (the year Go Nagai was born)

its got edward g robinson, joan bennet from disreali, and no one else i know of

its directed by that famous austrian silent guy fritz lang who did Dr Mabuse, Die Nibelungen and Metropolis

i never saw this b4 but if Fritz Lang did it, Im interested

it was actually banned by soviet new york (aka new sodom) as t=it was too much for their candy a55es to handle

They went on to be the home of Anime 18 which dubbed La blue Girl, a tentacle p0rn0

ooh, its got that 20s uniiversal logo

walter rwanger? is this a p0rn0 too?

hh, this is a remake of a movie based on a frenchie book

i mean soviet frenchie

so after credits on a panning image, its a gentlemen party where the had of this thing gives edward a watch

edward is named christopher cross like the singer from the 80s  and is a gret employee and hard worker

oh snap, its set in soviet new york!

so cross gets a special 1 dollar a piece cigar and the head boss leaves in a car with some 40s babe

but this seems clean and wholesome and cross's demeanor is really nice and pure

so cross and his homie charlie go out in da rain under 1 mbrella and cross is bummed he dont get chicks and wanted to be an artist as a kid

chuk takes da bus and cross finds a chick with a guy on da ground

cross goes for help and wait, i missed a bit and its  revealed corss shoved down the guy for hasslibng the chick

after sending the cop after the guy who was after the chick, cross walks chick home and they go for coffee(spoiler; pop is better!)

at the bar she gets him to have rum and she reveals her name is kitty like kitty media, the p0rn0 company that does anime

he's ggay for her as he thinks she''s hot and she sez she likes him being mature

whats a male cougar?

its implied shes a h00ker and he sez h paints and she thinks hes a pro painter

remember crayola scoot? the sports game by crayola? i hear its actually good. like tony hawk with color

he goes with her thoughts instead of telling the truth and contridicting her and she thinks he's loaded

he walx her hme and when he asks who johnny is, she gets on eddge like a spider you just blew on but sez its a friends bf or w.e

she asked where johnny was at the bar

greg sestero; johnnys my best friend

later cross stayed up painting and chuck comes by

its revealed cross is married and his woman's previous husband was a op who bit it saving a chick in da river

bte, walter anger also produced; the shiek, queen chrisrina, the bitter tea of general yen, algiers, stagecoach, tulsa and the 1963 cleopatra, oh and invasion of the body snatchers

so kitty is living with johnny who was the guy cross fought off as i think the mugging was a scam

and he wants kitty to take advantage of cross and his love

thats like something the sailor scouts or wedding peach chicks would waste a guy for

also kitty has a female room mate whos into modekling

sailor venus in that eop she dated tigers eye and hawks eye; maybe even nude modeling!!!

later hes having a soft moment with kitty about how paintuing is like love

she sez she needs cash and he eventuslly reveakls he's married but don't like his b--chy wife

she sez she needs 500 bones and he tries to get an advvance but needs a cosigner

later his woman is b--ching at him for not buying her a radio and b--ches at him about wantng to throw out his paintings

he rreads of a guy who icced his woman and the nypd cauught him

in ammerica thats a crime, in the 33rd world, its an honor

so he tells his woman he''d get a place to store the paintings abd she consents and he gets kitty the apartment she needed

so later kitty and jonny are in their new plaace and onny needs 1000 $ and tells kitty to black male him by saying his woman will find out if he dont

this is seeming like the Bible with her as Eve, and jonny as da snake

also the modell friend comes by and so does cross with his paints and cross meets jonny and senses he's seen him b4 and don't trust him

cross is happy for once and sez if ht werent for his b--chy wife theyd marry

she sez she needs 1000 bones and suggests she'd get it from jonny and cross volunteers to get it to keep her safe

later jonnny wants to ssell the paintings and assumes if cross was working hee'dd not have the bbucks he's giving em

at night, cross missappropriates cash from his boss and jonny tries selling cross's paintings but gets jack sh-t as they aint worth cr-p

he tries another art guy and lets art guy sell the painting for him but dont give his name or address so if the guy forgets him, he''s f'd

jonny tells kitty the paintings are woorth 25$ each (as 1 junkie on a cork=ner  is a good judge of appraising art) and thinks cross isnt really a big a55 painter

when johnny returns to the art guy, the painting sold to a big a55 art expert

later the art expert comes by jjohhnys placea nd jonny sez kitty made em but she resists

she uses what she knows of art from cross (cross? like the vilence jack guy or mazinger guy?) to fake knowing painting and art expert sez he  sensed a msculine energy from the paintings

imagine if the energy o the paintings, combined with her guilt, made her devolve into some kinda crotch monster?

later cross offends kitty and she gets b--chy and she just wants him to paint

and all cross wants is to marry her

so cross paints kitty (that sounds wrong) and later cross's woman gets b--chy over something (i wasmt paying attention)

oh woman saw his painting in this guys window and when he chex with the kitty, she sez she needed cash and sold em and put her namer on em

he understands and is glad his painting sold and paints more of her

later cross's woman's 1st husband comes by and is still alive and revealed he faked biting it and wwent on a tugboat to some place for a while

as hher husband is still alive, their marriage isbt canin as in the 40s, its 1 man 1 woman

but the coommies wanna change that

imagine; 500 people in a  pit, b0ning as a human centipede of lust!

he don't wanna return to his wife and wants cash so cross agrees to let husband  in to get woman;ss life insurennce dough she got from him biting it

but his woman is still there and when husband comes in and wife spazzes out, cross books it

he arrives at the studio partment and sees kitty and jonny making out and books it

in the real version they were b0ning

they hear him and jonny slaps kitty and books it

cross drinks in a bar and hears Christians in the street praising rejecting sin and comes back to confront kitty

he pulls out a revolver and blows 5 holes in her, the putd it in his mouth for the 6th shot


he sez he wants to marry her and she laughs at him and b--ches out in a tirade attacking all hhe  is

he has enough and starts beating on her under the covers

wow, didnt expect that


that b--ch neded a beat down!!

so jonny retuns as cross is leaving aand cross hiodes behind da stairs as jonny goes up, they escapes

so later the papers say kity was shanked dead with an ice pick

burn in h-ll you sack of sh-t!!

hope karl marx is b0nio ur guts!!

then at woek boss and da cops know cross jacked 1200 $ from da company andboss lets him off but i thinkhe's canned

oh andwifes husband outed him

so jonny is arrested by da cops and da evidence is pretty f'd of him

at da trial all the characters from b4 say she painted it and cross sez he s-cked at painting

so jonny gets the gas at sing sing and on a train some guys chatting with cross say no one gets away with murder and ur guilt will f you in da end

although it was a heat of the moment thing that mae himwack her, he was out of his mind, he snapped after all her b--ching. if i keep slapping a guy and he sklugs me and i fall in a spike put, is that murder? besides, its justifiable homocide! she screwecd with his heart!

btw, wasnt eddy g robs in that dr cltterhouse movie where hes a crime dr or w/e?

so at home he's hauntyed byy kittys voiceand spazzes out

it looks like a good silent film

btw this is good b/w and fullscreen

also onnys voice haunts him for saying he'd be with kitty now

yeah... in h e double new york!!

so cros hangs himself and 2 guys save him and later he's in da park and da ciops tell him to gtfo

he wants to be tried and executed and its been years

that kitty b--ch ruined him

then he sees a painting he did of kitty being sold for 10 000 $

he walks the empty streets haunted by jonny and kittys words

the ebnd

that was pretty good

nice and cool, shows the fall of the guy and the bad guys get iced

kinda dark and depressing but not as bad as stuff like law and order

for the 40s it was too much but today its not that awful

good acting and directing and it tells the story well

glad i saw it. its worth watching

for scarlet street 2 i want cross to find a psychic and finds he'[s being haunted by the souls of jonny and kitty who have devlved into daemons and want revenge. so they team up and go across new york to find these ancient soul clensers hidden in the underground sewer areas of soviet new york to summon and fight the ghosts. its also an 8 but game like blaster master on nes, gb, master system, game gear, tg16 atari jaguar and lynx where you go through these underground castles in soviet new york and fight devolved people while each soul clender gives tyou a new ability to get to new areas.

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Flesh And Blood Review

 note; i spell right si;ently

flesh and blood

this is my review on flesh and b.ood from the distant fture year of 1922

it stars lon chaney, noah beery sr, ralf lewis, Togo Yamamoto, Wilfred Lucas and other 1800s uys i never heard of

its directed by Irving Cummings who did The Story of Alexander Graham Bell (who was big on eugenics)

I never saw this b4 and was considering reviewing the paul verhoeven version instead, but thought, I'd do rhis

so it starts woth a bold but silmple ritle and then thete's a prison like riki-oh byt lwss cannibalism

so chaney, dressed like a civil war guy, is yrying to escape from some guys

not to be mean, but lion  chaney was 1 ugly dude

i mean it works as he's usually the bad guy, but he's no lilliaN GISH

so this guy in da road is pickinh up app;es that spilled (road apples??) adas chanen counts them, he sees it as the signal to run over and idein da cart

pretty clever

so then its in soviet chinatown and a dectictive is looking around

ed gein; private dick

so this cop was the one who nailed chaney in the 1st place and wants to sed him back again

also this guy li fang (sounds like a double dragon guy) rules chinatown and ants chaney safe

so thr mario cart of food comes in with chaney in it anthe cop does a looksy and lets em through

li fang was once saved from ruin by chanel and is repaying him by keeping him safe

but chaney's womN Is sick and he wants to see her

also she changed her name

laatter some guys doo the 1 2 3 signal with blowing smoke from a pipeand tapping stuffto sig nal these 2 guys to fake a figtr  in tthe sstreet

lon channey escapes in a hidden passage and sneax  out annd eventually onto da roof of a building

he sees his woman carried out on a strewtcher into a truckk and i think she bit it

he goes bby there and asa who was that and finds its his woman and her daughter is out and not reyurning

he  goes back to fangg and lames a guy named fletcher burton for framing him (chevy chace in flrtch directed by tim burton)

fang li sez lans daughter thinks hes in h-ll and  he wants to clear his name so there wull be no scandel

later lon difsguised hiimserlf to avoid da cop aand fakes being a cripple

he's aleays handicapped in one waty or abother and is the baddest a55 in the movie

nowadaty's he'd get endlass oscars for playing all those cripples

so burton is a  high rank lawyer or w//e and his son tes is a jr partneer

teddy goes to this place to help theslum bums and its managed by a chick called the angel lady wjo ted is into

better than ted kennedy, leabing that cick he was b0ning to bite it in a car he was drunk driving in

burn with ur devient bros and dad you c-ck sucker!!

so burton is worried about lon chaney comming for him and lon is searching for his daughter

angel lady is nice to lon and he thinks she's his kid as she has her moms fake name and looks like his woman

will lon bite  it saving her?

blace bets now!!


lon talks to a 1 leg kid who was hit by an ice wagon (like that guy lon played in the penalty)

then lon plays a song that angel lady''s mom liked (anngewomon??) and she has feelings and lon comforts her annd reminds her of the Bible verse of Jesus  giving rest to those who come to Him

she tells him that burton is buying then a new building

good web of characters this film builds

all connected together and all with motivves

its like a non X rated version of that ausatraliann women in prison show wentworth

so angel ladty plays the song for ted and lon plays it to himselff and ted is in love with her

its kinda nice

and he wants to announce their engagement tomorrow night

later at the place, 1  leg get carried away and lonnie  finds out shes engaged to ted

kinda like if Pan fwll in love with Giryu in DBGT

Ancient enemies merging families (Saiyans and Tsuffles)

so cop nails the guys who drove da fruit wagon and is getting closer to fang and lonand

thren goes in the fang house but a signal is given that gets lonniee  to escape b4 cop gets there

cops named doyle like that cbc show in soviet canada republic of doyle

cop loox aroound and leavees and goes back but a guy at da door gives a signal to warn fang

cop puts hand on fake wall to lean but dint find it and arrests fanng

fangs butler lets out lon annd i jest noticed lons disguise  dont  cover  his  face

its just crutches and a cripple walk

burton chats wuth angel lady to try to make noot wed ted but she sez she womt w/o his consent

burton goes but lon comes buy and she sez teds dad sez no andsez if only her dad was here

lon sez he's watching over her and wants regenge for burton not thining his kid is good enuff for his son

lon busts in to burtons place with a tommy gun and shreds him with bbullets as he screams like stallone


really he goes to see him and burtons  freaked out like freezza seeing trunks go ss

lon shows him a forged dsigniture llon made and givves burton a confession he wrote of whhat burton really did 15 years ago

how  old is anngel lady??

was she born after lon went to jail?

iff she's 14 and hhas work and hetting maried its like an anime

brton sez he tried to atone by donationg  80 000 $ to the slum place but lon sez its a btibe to God

burton begs  for forrgiveness as it would ruin his fam but lon sez its burtons  fams turn as llongs got f;d

burton wont sign and lon gets in his face

if this were rriki-oh, he'd be deboning  him with his bare hands to make him sign it

soo burton ssiyns it and the cops grill fang by rocking  him sideways in a chair

then tted thedore logan aand his babe come in and ted is  p-ssed  dad told  angel lady not to wed him

burton sez sorry and consents to them wedding

she sees lon and is  happy and  they go off

lon sees his revenge will f their lives and he rips up the confession

he tells the burton to look after theiir kids and goes back to jail

and a Bible Quote of how Greater Love is a man giving up his life for another

he sez he let hunted and returns  free

then a quote saying strange paths men take to happpiness

thr end

that was well done

good heart, good story, cleever stuff, good twists, no swearing or violence or nde scenes or devients

good redemption story and showung how even those who did wrong can still do good

like lance armsttrong cheating in that race everyone cheated in and raising cash for research

good acting and lon chaney is good in here and a good sense of innocence and hope

i liked it and I'm glad i saw it

plus  its only  like an hour and 13 mins long

ffor flesh  and blood 2 i want lon to be in jailand dealing with a new prison gang that is  rising. so he has to foorm his own gang and  take em on. Its also an 8 bt beat em up on sega master system snd game gear, atari 7800 and  lynx, nes, tg16 and game boy where its like river city ransom but you go to different wings in the prison and fight the rival gang while boosting stats and eating the fallen.