Tuesday, May 18, 2021

The Bookshop Review

 Notwe I'm not a book guy

ther bookshop

this is my review on the bookshiop from 2017 (20 years after predator 2 and shadow dancer the secret of shinobi)

its directed by Isabel Coixet who did  nothing i saw and is based on a 1978 book

its got bnill nighy and no one else i know of and i never saw this b4 nmore read the book

it got mixed reviews and huh, Emily Mortimer is in it who was in the ghost and the darkness and scream 3

so it starts with som,e chick rambling on about books and after years after her man bit it, she opens a book shop[

she goos too the bank and deals with red tape in soviet england in 19550s england

after that she hel;ps a sailor or fishing guy with his rope and he sez he dont rerad

i used to read but nowe i'm more into manga and wiki articles

i've been meaning to read dracula for years

also bill nighy is ripping up and burning parts of books

thats a hate crime!

as a kid i was tolk books are our friends

then again, some oppressive countries ban books

like chi na and korea, and mus lim countries and burma and russia and england

so main chick gets a new drerss and sleept in some place and dont like the red dress as she thinks her a55 dont look good in it

just get fat and be jessica rabbit

guys like thicker women

so she gos to a dinner party and there's a lot of ugly brits there

put some evolution pills in the garbage! so when they eat it, they'll turn normal!

she talks to a geezer about her bookshop plans and said she ordered the classics

geezer sez it must be easy to be dead like he's got soime kinda necromance fetish

then she chats with mr north, like mr pink in that tatrentino mvoie? and he wants to marry her after her husbnand got it in the war

north looks like chris noth from law and order 1 and he has a gf and i think wants to b0ne her

then she spracks to the hgost a blonmde and main chick sez she lioved in the place they gonna put the shop for a week

host bloncde dont want her liivng in there and wants it made into a locl arts center

so main chick books it and blonde smokes

so later this scuzzy guy chats with main chick and was told main chick wont be doing the book shop

she sez she is and later gotrs tyo chris of the noth star's place and asks if blonde wanted him to run the arts and crafts center she wants the book shop location for

she figgers they dont want her there and she goes tyo some guy and sez she's not moving out and wants the property issues resolved

so she tunes up the hosue and later its raining and these kids, the seas scouts comer by and help her work

family guy woute; you mean a slave!

so she gets the book shop running and books added and feels good man

a guy named mr faven sez the place is a sh-t shop and some wiener kid gives her a letter from bil  nighy

its revealed that his woman bit it on their honeymoon in the marshes getting black berries

he goes on aout the books he likes in the kletter and later she papper emails him a bay bradburtty book farenhifgtht 451

huh the narrator was Julie Christie in farenheight 451, dr zhivagho, harry potter and finding neverl;and

so this girl kid comes by to work and dont like books

also main chick was sent bsexy pix of chix by publishers

later nighy finishes farenheight 451 and paper emails masin chick saying only send more bradbury

also main chick gets in a martian bradburybook

later north drops off lolita and later main chick tasks to girel about how to do this heater or w/e

her grandpa got this item from nanking years ago and girl wants to be b--chier as an adult cuz shes brittuish

main chick wants giorl to read a book and girl wants the nanking trAY AFTER MAIN CHICK BITS ITR

so main chick sends nighy lolita and wants him toread it and see if its good to have in her shop

its gonna turn him pedo!

just like how watching violence makes u violent

later a laDY COMES BY SAYING MAIN chick wAS invited to a get to geher of bill nighy's place

she goos oover and findds him eating a rat alive by swallowing it tail a55 end 1sty as it squeals and spazzes out

jk really they have tea and he sez his woman is still alive and got fat and duymped him or w/e

so he goes on about how blonde is powerful and has f'd him up and he wants to help herhave her bookshop

only he talk really slow and this movie takes forever to do anything

we're like an hour in and nothing happened

so the bookshop buys an a55 load of lolita copies cuz i guess engliand is a pedo country and people complain about her window display

theres letters baxck and forh between her and a guy over lolita beuing too hot for england

later min chick is out in the nature and noth and his gf come by and she talks of her husnasnd who bit it

later blondeis working with a nerd to pass a bill to have big gov take prpoperty

this is why we had 1776

so i kinda spazzed out and read abouti have no mouth and i must scream where a guy gets huge parts and when i looked back the girl is gonna leave

so bill nighy wants to help main chick and they hold hands for a while anbd he goes

was that the brittish ver of kissing?

later north comes by and wants to workl with her at da shop to get close to her but she dont consent

later little girl talks to noth and puts the heater up

later nighy tells blonde to leave maain chick alone and how he knows she had that big gov law passed with hernerdy nephew

he tells her shes sh-t and gets p-ssed and walks off and bites it

later a ray bradbury book comes in and shes sad as the guy bit it

later a guy comes by and says, wait, its blondes husband, and he sez blonde said nighhy saiid he liked the art center idea

she gets mad at him oveer spreading lies about nighy and don't want them saying him name or hers

he tries to explain and she b--ches out aT HIM

so the gov is gonna take her home and if the building isn't "fiot for humans" then they don't gotta pay her

also while she was out an inspector came in w/o consent abd checked the place

also north said he got crippled from it "being too damp" in there

whaty A CANDYA55!

so now she's gonna go rambo on em right?

take em out one at a time based on books?

north trys talking to her but she walks off

she looks over her books to music for a while and we see the faces of the people who f'd her

girl comes in weith da heeter (not a 50s gun) saves 1 book and uses da heater to torch the place as main chick is on as book

those books were innocent virgins

oh and narrator is thew girl

so its the present and girl is the owner of a new book srtore and says "no one feels alone in one"

the end

so that wasn't too bad

its kinda slow and not much happens

it also shows how awful brits can be

at least they wern't doing it for the reegnt

but over all its a decent film

not ther worst but not rallty great

soime parts are good and it eventually gets better

its just kinda long and slow

mostly clean, not reeally swearing or p0rn0 or violence

its like a 50s film

For the Bookshop 2 i want it to be a few years later where the people in the village are found turned inside out pone by one and in ways based on classic novels, and its a murder mystery and they goptta fiind out who's dong it. turns out, the chick was out trainbing in ninja and is assasinating them for revenge. alsoi its a 16 bit game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba and atari jaguar where you sneak around as the chick in a sexy outfit and with huge muscles from training witrh ninja and taking these guys out in puzzle like things where you gotta gget em in the right place and get em in the right way.

Sunday, May 9, 2021

Hondo Review

 Note: I spell Japanese, wait, its not honda!

hondo

this is myt review on hondo from 1953

its rdirected by john farrowq whop did 2 years before the mast and Night Has a Thousand Eyes

it has john wayne, Ward Bondfrom the searchers and its a wondderfil life, James Arness from the thing from another world,. Rodolfo Acosta from 1 eyed jaccks, leo gordon from black patch and alienator and the garbage pail kids movie, paul fix from scarface, hitler dead or alive and night of the lepus, Rayford Barnes from Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter and Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, frank mcgrath from The Ox-Bow Incident, mighty joe young and the red badge of courage and chuck roberson from calamity jane and the searches

i never saw this b4 i think, unless its got joihn wayne cuttig his thumb and mixing blood with a kidd, but heard sme people liked it

it was made to be in 3d cuz hollyw-ng never stops tryuing toi stuff it up our a55es

so its in color and widescreen and after credits that are hardf to read, a guuy comes to this blonde mom and sons farm

mom gets her gun and its john waynewith a rifle and dog all f'ds up

he lost his horse getting away from indians and chick sez they have a treaty with the indians

he asks for workj or a horse and he finds her husband is in the hills and she offers him a horse and a meal

his dog is dangerous and malcontent and belongs in h-ll in animals had souls

also the dog is self feeding eating rabbits and john dont want anyone feeding it so it dont get sissy

so after lunch x saber wayne trys taming a wild stallion and sharpens an axe as mom sez her husbands fam got iced in the wagon trails

she bleives in destiny as her and her husband got together from similar pasts

kid wants to play with the dog and waybe sez kid can but he adviss againsty it so kid learns for himself

nowadyas peiople go mental over kids in "danger" of name calling and disagreement as it might drive em to seppuku

so wayne figers out that her husband is gone for months as the farm is a cr-=pmobile and calls her on it

she admits her man is out and sez they ahve peace with the indianbs and wayne sez gtfo b4 they sh-t the place up

also the indians often come to their land for water and they get along with em

wayne sez the Whites broke the treaty and teh indians dont have a word for lie and are gonna sh-t up the site

waybe reveals his dog was trained to smell indians by being beat by one

waybe reveals he's part indian like dana beingh half zenmtraedi in robotech and that he can smell her and knows what she did like cooking and bathing from smell

he's wolverine from x men!

so she gives him a place to sleep and finds wayne is hondo lane the gunmanwho killed a buncha guys from his name on his item

she hgolds him at gunpooint but the gun wasnt ready to fire and he settles things and talks his way outta it

da nerxt day ice saber general wayne is leaving and sez he lived with the indians for years and had many chicks and they dead

he sez she reminds him of his jet black haired woman

btw this was pg in america and england and 16+ in finland and norway

buncha candya55es

so after a long tender moment he kisses her on the mouth and she sez she's married and he says he dont want her scalped by indians, but he lets people do what they weanna do

kinda like how The Lord gives us Free Will and if we screw up, its noty His fault

so he goes and later the indians show up in a huge pack

the leader says she was told to go off her land threateningly

her son uses a pistol to knock one off but he gets up and tryes toi cop him with a knife like its england

kid fights him off  and the leader stabs their thumbs and mixes their blood to turn him into some kind of invid

they leave and say her son is like an indian, brave(which would be cultural approproatuion now) and leader sez the White man iced his sons

so meanwhile, john wayne is atr a militaryu station and says he got an item from an indian thing by wasting em

later in a bar her gets in a fight and later realizes he just beat up the moms husband

so the capped indian is beiugn like a dad to son and says he's be a good indian

so john goes out and the head indian says she must choose an indian man to be herf new hsuband as some kidn of forced marriage like in the 3rd world

sher sez she still has a husband but he sez hes dead

later john wayne is having a snack and dipping his boots in the water and someones lurking aorund

waune escapes and 2 guys come by and get j fk'd by inidan arrowman and waynbe takes out the arroweman

wayne saves 1 guy but when the guy truys to cap wayne, the dog alwardts hima nd wayne ninja reflexes kills him

only to find its the boys dad

later john waybe is riding and indians attack and he counterstrikes to take some out

after a speed duel and getting cut off by a platoon of indians and goers down a hill

eventually they swarm and catch him and he raises his hand and obliterates them in a huge flash of ki

jk really they catch him and are gonna skin his head and torture him dead

he knows theirt language and insults em and head indian wants to know about the Army and John Wayne knows him froma  treaty copuncil

he wont ssay why hes in their land and they put a burning rock on his tird hand to torture him

but they see he's got the photo of the son and they think hes the father and cut him free

you are NOT the father

black guys: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

thern capped gu and wayne have a knife fight like its michael jacksons beat it

waybe gets shanked in the chest but disarms the foe and gets a blade to his neck and wins

head indian yanks out the knife and roll out and eventually arrive at moms farm in the rain with jogn waine

they ask if john wayne is her man and she sez yes and they let him life with her

but capped guy wastes john waynes dog as revenge for losing a fight to him

So she treats his wounds and he gives her the card of her son and sez her man is in h e double ireland

john wayne says he died well and donty admit to icing him

later john waybe gives kid fishing advice about now letting ur shadow on the water and kid cant swim

so john wayne chucks his a55 in the water and tells him how

kid gets it fast and moms overworried and sez she can't swimn, then runs b4 he chux her in 2

later its night and he trys to tell mom about what he did but she goes on about the moon or some cr-p

he admits to icing a dude and then hears a sound and its head indian who sez he was in the house and saw kid sleeping with knife

so head indian sez a rival tribe is coming near and tells him to lie to em but john wayne sez noi and head indian respects that and leaves

wayne sez he was being tested and indians hate lies and he feels the same way

later the Amry comes by and 1 is this 1800s prospector who looks like my redneck friend and say the indians are scalping innocent people

also they're evacuating people from the area from indian attacks like the people fleeing earth after the invid attacked in robotech and the 1800s guy, buffalo baker, is a fun character

jhn wayune sez he has a pace like this by san diemas like where bill and ted live

1 guy sez he found the moms husband and john waynes tracks and he want his gun in exchange fopr silence

after making what i think are comments of john wayne b0ning the mom, wayne slugs him out and the chick was there and heardwayne did her husband

the army movs on and buffalo baker (the ancestor of buffalo bill from the cr-ppy a55 silence of the lambs?) and otrher guys stay behind

john wayne explains to wife he iced the guy in self defence and she sez shev hated the guyb anyway

so wayne goes to tel son about it and son has a fish he caught and he gets hurt on it and wayne helps him

mom stops wayne and says truth isdnt the most important thing and it mighjt damnage the kid and her husband is a p o s who married her fore the land and ledft right after

then some soldiers come back after an attack

So the wagons go into a big wasteland and the indians atack and they circle the wagons 

john wayne sees they want the Americans to flip the wagons so he has them drive out andfthe indians break off, then attack

they circle the wagons again and fight and kid is scared and donyt wanna be apache anymore

they book it but johnwayne is left behind and takes out capped guy with a good shanking and runs

the indiands retreat as their leader bit it and the guy who wanted the rifle j fk'd an indian and saved wayne, so wayne gives him the gun

they figger the indians are over and their way of life is done

theryu ride off to san dimas and go up a hill like Moses going up at the end of The Ten Commandments

the end

that was pretty good

nice actkon

goes by fast and has good flow

dont drag and has good feels

nice music and filming

its well done

john wayne is always good in these and this one holds up

i did see some of this years ago but didn't recall much

glad i saw it. classic john wayne

For Hondo 2 i want them to come across a spaniish ship in the desert full of gold but its haunted by skeleton warriors and they want to eat the flesh off the peiople to gain human forme and they gotta fight it out. also its a 16 bit action game like the genesis pirates of dark water on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar,gba and tg16 where you play as john wayne and go through the ship and fight the reforming skeletons

Saturday, May 8, 2021

The Importance Of Being Earnest Review

 Notte: I spell earnestly

the importance of be8iing earnest

This is my review on he Importance of Being Earnest from 1952

its wroitten by oscar wilde who did doreian grey which was f-kked up

its dirtectal by Anthony Asquith who did the 38 pygmALLLION. which i liked

it stars micxhaelk redgrave, and a buncha britlers i never heard of

i never saw tthis b4 but heard its good? maybe? i dont know. i just know the title

and its not connected to hay vern itsd ernest nor earnest evans, although being in the 1800s, could be a prequel to it

lol,m edith evans is in this, earnest and evans

ooh, this has Joan Greenwood from barbarella and Miles Malleson from ther 40s theif of baf dad and Aubrey Mather from the 40s jekyl and hyrdesd and jane eyre and Richard Wattis from chitty chitty bang bang

ooh itsx fullscrtenn and color

so it starts bwith people at a play anmd reading the playtbill and its the credits

then they watch the play and this guys taking a bath but we dont see his 16 incher

this this dude is talking to another guy and its all brittish as he gets groomed

they talk about 1 guy flirtingh with gwen and eat sasusage

i know these guys are birts, but they seem pretty fruity

oh moustache guy is wanting to marry her and dude is her cousin

cousin readds a thing with an inscription frommoustache guy, oh its a cigarette case

also its vanentines day 1895 and the case says "to your uncle" even though its from mousaches aunt

alsdo they have fictional personas of maougtche being ewrnest and cousij beiung bunbery and go by therm in different places

moustache sez he was adopted and was guardian to some chick and fakesd being ernest,m his made up kid bro, to go incognito

copusin uses bunbury to use as cover to go places

later moustache goes out and goes to this place witha guy eating cucumber sandriches like that sonic guy and they eat the long food

1st sausage then cocumnvbers?! wehat is this? eiken?

so then these chicks come in, a hag and a young and oh the young is gwen

so cucumber guy whines thsat they are outta cucumbers and hag complains about bunbury

wait, i think sandwich guy is cousin

so cousin goes off with hag to b0ne or w/e and main moustache guy tyalks to gwen

i'm having trouble following this with its brittish talk

so gwen sez she heard of ernest and loves him

kinda like those dinks who love anime chicks and j-rk off on body pillows

oh she thinks main guy is ernest asnd he tryus to say if she'd love him if he had another name

also she hates his real name and only likes ernestg

he wants to marry her and probably have a brit mo daemon rityual weedding but dont get the words out right for a bit

he eventually doos and they say their love and almost kiss but hagmo comes back (oh its her mom) and b--ches at em

she dont consent to her legal age dughter engaging to a guy and sends her down so she can grill main guy

she's glad he smokes and thatt he knows nothing as its good to have a hobby and a man should know evberrtyhting or nothing

he tells her his money level and has no political leanings and he don;t knowe who his rents are as he never knew them and was found and given to some fam like Goku

she dont like not knowing his ancestry and dont let him marry her kid as i guess she wants to make sure they are relkated so they can magke inbred kids like all the blue bloods prefer

inbreeding, better known as "keeping it in the family" is a practice done by many elites and animals who like keeping their bloodlines pure. seer also; dogs of the highest petigree

so gwen still likes him and later in the country is getting flowers and talking with hagmo

wait, i think its some other chicks and other chick wants main guy and ernest to come by

they talk about some brit sh-t i dont get and she dont like happy endings in novels

better read some go nagai then!

a guy named canon according to wikip[edia comes by and is all fuddled like a brit

other hag is into him and wasnts to marry him

so later main guy sendz a note saying hes ernest and comming and cousin comes by and pretends to be ernest

she dont like him at 1st and grow closer after talk

later main guy comes by and sez ernest bit it in soviet paris last night

then cousin chick comes out happy saying ernest is here and the canon and other hag are happy hes alive and not questiong it

main guy dont wanna shake hanfds with cousin but she makes him by saying she wont forgive him if he dont

in a different room main guy b----ches at cousin for his acts and wants him to leave

main guy goes to get changed as cosuin wont leave him in black as its protocol to wear it when someone bit it

so cosuin goes to other chick and she writes in her diary about lovey dovvey stuff he sez

he tells her he wants to marry her and she reveals that she was engaged to ernrst b4 but brioke it off

also she revals she couldnt like him if he had another name, esp his real name

so main guy goes to a priest or something and asks to be Christiened

so later other chick meets hag and wait, its gwen shes meeting and they get along

they chat and find they are both in love with ernest and bother were asked to marry by him

they bicker over it and main guy comes over and kisses gwen but other chuick reveals he's really her guardian

then cousin comes in and gewwn reveals he';s now ernest either

they come out about trheir real names and the chicks dont like them cuz of tyheir names

but they wanna see the real ernest but he reveals there is none

so the guys say they made arrabngement sto be Christened as Ernest and come back insiide singing

the chix ask why they did the name game and they say tyo be with them

they reveal to the chix they are gettign their names changed and da chix love em now

they hug but hag comes in and is b--chy and bossy

main guy has enough of her sh-t and slugs her out and her jaw comes off in a spray of blood!

jk really he sez hes engaged to her and she sez no

cousin sez bunbury bit it and her nephew the cousin wants to marry other chick

tyhey reveal otehr chick is the adoppted kid of main guy

she grills main guy over the stats of other chick asnd sshe likes it

mainm guy dont give consebnt to the other chivk to marry as shes underaged (da f--k?! england noooo!) and reveals cousins lies about faAKING BEING ERNEST

hag ALLOWS MAIN GUY TO MARRY GWEN but main guy don't want  cousin to marry her

also other chick is akmost 18, which means shes the same as 8, but main guy rebveals shes of age at 35

man they got some crazy asge of consent laws up there in soviert england!

then again nowadays, 35 year oilds still live with their rents

wait, hag still dont want main guy to marry gwen and masin guy is holding his consent until he can marry

canon the priest is gonna rename em but hag dont wwant it but when canon sez the name of orther hag, main hag recognizes the namne

hag merets other hag and its revealed shhe had a bABy but was accidentally left in a bag when she had a bimbo moment and misplaced it

turns out, the baby was main guy and he breiings the bag he was found in down and she recognizes it as hers

oh and the mom was the hags kid sister so i guess they can inbreed now and his dad was the cousins dads brother

also he was named after his dad aND they look in the aRMY IST AS HES A GENERAL

turns out; its ernest as rich guys name their kids after themnselfes like Donald Trump Jr or J FK Jr or Garlic Jrt

he sez he finally sees the imporitance of being ernest and kisses the chickl

ther end

ooh, its made in pinewood studios in england like Batmaan

so that was a  pretty goode filme

good wit, good acting, good feel, nice lite humor

not dark or f'd up, clean, light and mild

it takes some getting used to but its got a nice warmth

i kinda like the late 1800s early 1900s and this has that classy vibe

good twists too

glad i saw it. its a wholesome film thats nice and well made

plus the bright colors look great

for The Importance of Being Earnest 2 I want the couples to be married but their kids are inbred and have weird mutation powers, also its ww1 and they gotta fight the germasns, but learn the brits are the bad guys so they defect to fight for zee kaizer. also its a 2 player beat em up thats 16 bit on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the  kids of the inbreeders from the 1st film and are higher evolved from the good genes being consentrated and fight the germans at 1st, but can choose to join em and beat the king (who's got demon powers) or stay brittish and fight the Kaizzwer (with a metal gearspring arm)

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

We're No Angels Review

 Note; i spell unholy

we're no angels

this is my review on we're no angels from 1955

its also got a 89 ver with commies deniro and sean penn

its directed my michasel curtiz who's done good stuff and stars humphrey bogart, aldio ray, basil rathbone, joan bennet, and a few 1800s guys i never heard of

i never saw this but my mom likes bogart

oh and peter ustinov from quo vadis is in this

its based opn a play i never saw

so after credits its devils island on xmas in 1895 and its a prison island like australia as some frenchie sings his devolverd language

then its day and 1 guy is sewlling butterflies and a boat came by and 3 cons escaped

the 3 cons played by bogard and aldo and peter are on a sack of cr-p and overhear the guard they beat us survived

1 has a snake and 1 tries to grab a chicks a55

thats the same as jamming his footling in her mouth by todays standards

then it rains and the hunter killer dogs looking around lose the scent

the convicts wanna return to soviet paris and meet a ship officer who sez theres an outbreak of plague and they admit to im they convicts

also they picked his pockerts and stop by a store and jack a buncha sh-t b4 the ownerr arrives

they tell the owner they need weork and will do it for free (thats slavery) and start working on his leaky butt roof

on da roof thery see the ship and bogard wants to forge papers and they watch owner and his woman talking aboutn the sh-0t they got asnd how his cousin or w/e bought his business when owner went bankruimp

the conms watch her undress and talk about thinking of her tonight (which means j-rkin off)

so she notices em looking in onher in her 1800s undies and a lady comes in for nuying xm,as cr-p

she goes on about the diffenert kind of crooks to hire and says murderers are best and not secks fiends

i assume the seks fiends are gonna be j-rkin off all over the work area

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg pssssssssssssssssssssssstttttttttt!!

also owner has a daughter who is 18 and i assume the convicts are gonna b0ne her

alsdo shes in love with a guy she aint seen in a year (like with chichi not seeing goku all those times?)

oh and the lover is the son of the owners cousin

inbreeding?! what is this?! england?! I mean; soviet england!!??

wife to hert husband; i have 2 kids, isabella and you!(kisses him)

mne: This jst went svu! seducing her son!

then duaghter comes in and dad sez shes pretty cuz she looks like him

thats all kinds of f'd!!

my own clone! now neighter of us will be virgins!!

daughter wants to go to paris like its nadia the secret of blue weater onsega genesis or something

daughter sez she decided to not write to cousins son for a year tyo see if they feel the same

then owner gets a letter saying his cousin and cousins son are comming and are in the boat on shore

she reads the letter andf blascks out and teh conbvicts come down 

this is is how p0renm0es start

they read thast son is gonna get married to another chick

mom comes in and they explain and she wakes up buit reblacks out seeing aldo

aldo carrys her to her bedroom and bogart explains aldo was arersted for b0ning and peter was arrested for wasting is woman

bogart sells a comb set to a bald guy (he's gonna comb his butthair)

thery try to get change and peter opens ther cash box

then they reveal their snake adolphe, who bit a mean guard, is missing

daighuter comes out with the snake box and fiunding out its a snake, balcks out again

bogard loox at the books and the other 2 loot the store and when owner comes back he thinks them moving a mannqequin is them icing his woman

later bohart sells a guy a coat he knows is too small by making it look like its a bigger one

owner invites em to have xmas dinner and the 2 non bogharts set the table like a circus guy

so daughter wants to run away but aldo sez to wait to hear cousins sons side of the story

dshe sez she thinks men aint attracted to her (which a sling bikini would fix) and also sez he could go to jail for feeling fore ghirls(pro pedo message??)

its revealed he asked his uncle for money by beating in his head with a poker and bohgart cooks a turkey

gobart sez he has no ragrets and would do it again if he didnt get caught

so they put up christman stuff and daughter wears a dress

so they play xmas songs and the cons feel regret about planning on murdering the family, but gobart still wants to do it

so cousin and son come by and cosuin is kinda b--chy and sex he's marrying off son to a ship builder guy to get a discount

booghart sez the stores been getting in a huge number of money and gives evidence

owener calls em out on it after cosuin left and they crack the safe and cook the books

cousin comes out to look at em and brings em into his room

owner feels releived as he'd have regretted faking it

so then the cons go into sons bedrrom and try to get daughter and him to meet

wife comes down and worried about her daughter and bohart sez to give daugheter a chance with son to see if they work

so daughter is with son and cosuin coomes in telling her she wont get his money and sez owner is gonna be on devils island as a convict

cosuin b--ches at the convicts saying he's gonna get em sent to solitary (which is iunhumane by todays candya66 standards)

so the cons haver a mock trial with each other and decide to execute the cosuin

wtf this was 13+ in sovieyt argentina and 15+ is communist swedenb

buncha candya55es

so they're gonna use trhe snake to ise the cosuin but bogatr cant bring himself to fdo it as the fam would feel bad

then coauin comes in saying he kknows they were jacking thje store and thinks their snake box is stolenn property and takes it

they caslmly talk about warning cousin but decuides to play cards to decide

they draw cards and bogart wins and is gonna tell cosuin of the poison snake

but he takes his sweet a55 time and its too late when he gets there

at night bogart fakes a will and decide to leave after someone finds the body and will

the lady from b4 comes by but bogaert cant get her to com,e to the room

the other cons cant find the snake andthey look but daughter comes by

they wabnt her to find ccaounsen but shes still p-ssed at him and goes to church

they check da garden and owner comes by and dont wanna see cousin either

they chat with wife who sez she thought of ways to ice cousin but wouldnt go beyonmd thinking

son comes by and thery get him to check cousin and he finds him dead

turns out, son is glad cousion went back to h e doubble french canada and later burns the fake will

the cons ask about the will and se sez he didnt find 1 and will inherit everything

also he wont marry daughter and is gonna can owner if inventory isnt up

the guys want the snake to ice him too but figger its gone

then son comes in saying the snake biut him as he went thgreough his dads pocket

the guys lauigh and bring him out back to bite it

then daughter comes in saying she prayed for them andf cousin and knows son dont love him

shes ok with it and goes off and the guys tried to say son loved her

then navy guy comes in saying hes the dr to investigate the caousn biting it

they want him to marry daughter and she meet hi and hes gay for her

daughter finds son offscreen and screams and faints and navy guy brings her up

later the cons are in new threads and say bye to the owner and wife and go to the boat sayioong "we're bno angels"

but realize they like prison and choose to go back and halos appear on their heads, and the snake

the end

that was pretty good

nicew clean fun and lightly dark

its witty and has a bit of a 3 stooges feel

i enjoyed it and hard to believe in under 2 years after this, bbogart woulkd bite it

this is a nice bright good time based on a play and has a positive atmosphere

its well made and is just plane enhjoyable

alsdo its got good twists and goes playes ypou wont expent

for we'rer no angels 2 i want it to be a prison movie where they form a gang and gain members through beatdowns and deals. also its a 128 bit pst, dreamcast, gamecube and xbox game like bully but you play as them and go around prison and try to work your way up top take out the big gangs.

Saturday, May 1, 2021

The Spy Who Came In From The Cold Review

 Note: i can spell good when i wanna, but its more fun this way

The Spy Who Came In from the Cold

this is my review on The Spy Who Came In from the Cold from 1965

its directed by martin ritt who did sounder

it stars richard burton and no one else i know

in nevewr xaw this b4 but heard its good

its bassed on a book i never read by some frenchie

so after credits to soft piano its the gate crossing of ther berlin wall bvefore reagan took it out with his americanism

the boundary between freedom and communism

so burton is waiting for someone at the gateway to h e double ussr and the guy hjes waiting for might have been caught by a commie chasing him

its in widescreen and b/w

burton walks by the boarder and 2 soviet guards are there armed

and if the soviets attack, they can't fight back or it'll be war

like how n soviet england and canada guns are banned so onlyu bad guys have enm

a guy walx a bike through da czech poine and the alarm goes off

da sovierts attack him and he rides his bike as they ice him

later burton chatz with a britmo who sez he knows everyones fate but its not his jobn to tell burton

at a brit place, burton meeets his boss and boss drinks tea cuz hes too devolved for pop

so bos is gonna reassign burton and has a speecch of how his side is said to be peaceful but really both r bad

so boss wantsa burton to find mundt, the guy chasing the guy who got it at the start

so later burton is at a job hiring thing and gets sent to assist at some place

he worx at a library for 11 brittish money a week and goes out to bars fore lunch

then its raining cuz its cr-ppy weather in soviet england and he goes to a store with a guy cutting meat on a salicer

imagne putting a guys face on it?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

or his a55!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

so burto trys to buy something but needs a bvankers thing

also the brits are reoreganiziung the library and use queerr words like metamorphosis for a werewolf book or aparations for phantoms

so he goes home with the chick working there and they have coffee and its revealed they don't believe in The Lord

she reveals shes a commie and think they are gonnado good with it

Stalin, MaO, pOL pOT, cASTRO, tRUDEAU,all thought to do good, but did evil

look at all the people who fought and died to get into the ussr over the berlin wall

oh wait!

so later burtron goos ito da store for fake caviar and is drunk and p-ssed off

he beats out the store owner (stoner) and later is let outta prison and meets the commie chick

dont drop the soap

she invites him to her place for wine and fish

theres 2 kinda commies

the idealistic "everyuone willbe equal and happy"

and the realistic "imma use thius to gain power/control"

later in the park a commie trys to seduce him to working for the reds

they go drinking as thats what soviets are known for, and offers him cash to meet him at 7 30 t night

so after going around town for a while to music and meets a higher up who sez he wanted burtn to look like he's f;d and drunk but not to defect but now they'[ll use him to leave "evidence" they want out to the commies to lure out mundt

also hes ordered to not be with the cmmie chick

so at a bar burton meets guys who dont getta long with him

then meets another guy who wants him to out britmo secrets to the commies

but both are bad guys!its like if gacy and bundy were fighting!

so later he's with commie chick and talk about leaving jail

if this were made today he'd be b0ning the girl instead of talking

wait, they kissed and tit fades out

they b0ned

so later burton goes to the netherlands (likte the netherworld in yugioh 5ds?) and metts a ghuy who goes over his life story

burton sez he worked on stuff about the code names of agents and tells em about operation rolling stone, which he sez is a banking thing

burtton b--ches bout work and how he hates da brits side and a paper sez burton is missing in soviet england

he realizes they leaked his info and are gonna sneak him to soviet union and wants his cash and out but they wont let him go

mr smily meets commie chick and gives her his card saying he's the burtons homie

later threy go to somr sh-t house in a cr-pmobile area and 1 guy there was a nazi b4 turning commie

burton gets b--chy but 1 guy yells at him for being a traitor and they'll pay him and let him go when he gts em good info as all he gave em is cr-p

he tells the guy, a german i think, that mudnt was wortking for england

he tells german he don't believe in anything and they talk about how innocents die all the time and they dont care

so later commie chick wants to go to east germany and support the commies like aoc or bernie

so in sh-tland german guy sez theres evidence saying mundt was let outaa england and burton sez it wouldnt happen w/o him knoing of it

so later burton is in a room with some guys who probably beat/b0ned him and they take him upstairs

he's interrogated and the guy doing it in mundt but the commies come in and take em to a secret trtial

they try to prove that burton is not a spy and mundt is

huh, the commie chick was in the kings speech andn clash of the titans

so ther trial gives evidence and commie chick is called up as a witness and is not told whos on trialor why

its revealed a house was bought for her but she wont say who did it or admitting she knew smily

nico smily from yugioh arc v? that show s-cked!

she eventually admits it was smily who did it and this proves the evidence agianst mundt was false as smily was a gov guy

burtton admits its all fake and german guy gets b--chy cuz he also hates mundt

so burton goes and chick are arrested and back at the sh-t house

mundt tells thm he is a brtimo guy and is letting em go

thery drive in the car and burton sez to chick his mission was to save mundt and get the german who hates him iced as he was suspecting mundt of being a birtworker

and the brits used her to discredit burton and were to sacrifice them once the job was done

burton goeds on a speech about howe spys s-ck and they do awful things for the people they are fighting for

they meet a guy who looks like sean culllen andf he guides em to a place to get through and how to get through it

they get to the wall but sean cullen j fk's the chick and siumily sez to jump to the west german side

seeing how the brits are no better thsan commies, he gpoes back  as sean cullen tells him to go on

then sean cullen picks him of and the movie ends

the end

that was f'd

well done

kinda artsy

kinda offbeat like a 60s film with camera work and filming style like them

its pretty good but dark and depressing

shows how awful the brits and commies weere

shows the dangers of both comminusm and england

where as america is tyhe good guys who fights those evils

its well made and quirky aND TELLS A TWISTED STORY WITHOUGH MUCH SWEARING OR VIOLENCE OR B0NING

i likeed it but its pretty dark and bleak

then again i like go nagai and urotsukidoji

for The Spy Who Came In from The Cold 2 i want it to be the 80s and england has teamsed up with the ussr to take on america after the communist party has been voted in. lso they use exosuits to fight in the dried up seas asfter the nucular war. also america is using espers to use their powers to microwave enemy units. its also a 16 bit srps on sega genesis, snes, tg166, atari jaguar and gba where you play as an american and fight the soviets like in shining force and in the end take on the queen who has a daemonic transformastion by absorbing the souls of the brits who  fell loyal to her.

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

On Deadly Ground Review

 Note: I spell liker this movie

On Deadly Ground

This ios my review forb On Deadkly Ground from 1994 (Tghe year Sonic 3 and Knuckles came out)

Itsd directed by steven segal and people say it s-cked

its got segal, michael cainme from goldmember and the swarm, r lee ermey from the texas chainsaw massacre revboot, billy bob thornton, Sven-Ole Thorsen from those schwarzenergger films, anmd bart the bear

aw gay! its widescreen!

so after credits to shots of nature to kinda mystic music, theres a fire at an oil thing

then segal comes over in a chopper tryng to look bada55

1 geezer sez the cr-p they use isnt up to code and the boss makes em use it

segal used to be one of the guys but now is a slave to michael caine for money

so segal sets a thing and blows it wityh only him and caine not ducking cuz they arte too cool for it

also he lights his cigarette with a burning fire, even though it was already lit

caine sez it was human error not fasulty cr-p that caused it and he wants to keep the opil to make cash off it instead of it fgoing into the ocean

also segal just blew the evidence of if it weas faulty cr-p


later at a bar a redneck is mean to a native guy in a really antisubtle way


geezer talks to segal about how a buncha guys bit it in the fire and segal dont care


sregal sexz he saw the cr-p had cracks and geezer sez he wants segal to look into it


so redneck is kind of an a55 to native guy and segal beats a buncha guys out for it


u guy he breaks the arm and chucks him through the wiindow, which is in alaska so the cold air will go in

faces him in a game where they take turns tapping each othetrs hands and if you miss, the foe gets a punch

its like yuygioh meets riki-oh

so after a beat down, segal sez, what does it take, to change the eessence, of a man

redneck secz, time! and now that he's humbled, hes gonna be a good guy

like the other yugi torturting a guy wiht black magic toi be good

or lovely angel b0ning the evil outta a guy in that Go Nagai Manga

so later caine films an add with cariboo about how he cares for narure

then aftewr doing it he b--ches about how the cariboo stink and he wants to be cleaned adfter touching 1

1 lawyer or w/e sez the long term benifits for surviving wifers of the guys hwho bite it are too generous and he's running outt atime

caine spazzes out and sez if it aint online and working in 13 days, the rights to the land go back to the natyives

lawyer sez a guy is talking of fsaulty cr-p and it could cause caine to lose billions so he wants a guy to take care ogf him


so segal goes in and looks through the files to find they are using defective cr-p and the new parts wont get in for 90s days


the system spots him logging in and accessing classified files


later geezer is at his 90s computer with the classified files and some goons come to his cabin with internet access


they find his computer has been downloaded or w/e and they torture him, by breaking hjis fingers to find the data

then they take a pipe cutter and do something toi him as its the tv airting we sdont see, also they trash his place looking for the data

so lawyer sez at a press conference that things are ok and in 3 months thingsa wiill be normal

a native guy talks about how the environment is being poisoned by ther oil thing and its devolving the people

a chick splashesd black goo on him saying the blood of her people is on him

segal sez he understands why caine is using cr-ppy cr-p as if he waits for the next shipment he wont make the deadline and asks "how much money is enuff"

also theres another accident on another place and caine sez he csan talk of this after and sends segal to fix it

they go over and egzal;goes in  waering a diving suit thing and finds geezers body and charges

they the bad guys blow the place and a nativber guys on a dogsled go over

1 sez he saw something in a vidion and they find segal alive somehow and bring him back to theirt canadian mad max village

later caine sez it was sabotage and the sabatogers got it in the thing blowing and it was segal and the geezer

meanwhiile the natives treat segals issues and segal meets the elder

elder sez segals like a bear wehich i assume is gonna trun him furry and goes some kinda surgery on him

so caine wants them to keep looking for segal as "ifg we dont find a body hes alive" like its chucky or sopmething

segal heals and goes out in a ceariboo or sasquaTCJH SKIN COAT AND FIGHHTS DOGSD AND tells the natives if the bad guys find him they'll f the village

elder sez hes healthy enuff to go on his journey and tells segal their creation story

there was no one on earth until day 5 and a man came from a secrted place fulkl ghorwn and saw a raven

he made animals and cr-p and raven worried man would f the earth and made the bear to keep man in check

sornds kinda ike the Bible

so segal is the bear to keep dangerous man in check to protect nature

they cast a spell on him, or somethign and he has a trippy vision about nature and how man has f'd it

on law and order svu; the earth defense group (EDG) is attacking people they fear/hate for their "crimes" against nature (like making suv's or building a home on forest land) the cops hassle this member about going to jail but he sez; you cant keep RAEPING THE EARTH! me; YES! I! CAN!! (starts h-mping the lawn) eat my d-ck you b--ch!

so later the bad guys comer to the villager and hassle em if thery saw segal and elder sez no

they find segals diving suit and when 1 guy smacks the chick, the elder does something and gets capped

so later segal comes back and the baddz are gone and segal sez bye to the elder whos almost bit it and 

so after the elder bits it they reveal they have a snbomobile the whole time but its for emergencues and segal and the chcck take it to go tyo the geezers cabiin

its trashed and btw, theres leafy green plants around it, despite being neasr the artic in pre soviet alaska

segal finds the disks and bad guys come in and segal beats a55

caine in the plant sez segal is a super elite bada55 like hes kenshiro or riki-oh or something

so caine gets mercenaries from the 3rd world and 1 is r lee

so segal sez the oil thing is gonna blow when brought online and is gonna pump poison back into the ground or w/e

so now segal is gonna blow the oil thing like hes on a gee haaad

btw most of the natives are played by asiasns

so chick sez they shouldnt bklow it and segal goes on a cr-ppy speech about how theres not gonna be a miracle of someone saving em and stopping tech and hes gotta do it

its pretty bad

so sega gets a buncha guns and goes off on a horse as theres no carbon emmisions except when it breathes and poots

so the mercenarties sez segal is only on record after 87 which means hes super top secret

segal goes to his storehouse and its fuill of arms and asplosives

he puts out a signal to lure the mercaneieres in and segal sends chick with a pack of cr-p and rigs his place to blow

as the chopper lands the cabion blows in slo mo and takes it out and sega cd goes oof oon horsebacka dn sets trap cards

the mercenaires on horseback think nthey got him and go after him but r lee spots a trap and when 2 guys go on they hit a 2nd tap and get takewn out

so thgey go on and sega 32x and chick jump a gap on horse and blow the cliff with a bag of asplosives

so sgea satrun gets to the oil place and and uses a pop bottle as a silerncer and takes a guy out

so segal takes more guys out and at the oil thing theres a lot of cops and the mercenatirs worry of capping segal with em there

seagl rigs the place to blow and tells the workers to gtfo and f's the systems so the power gets f'd

then he blows part of the plant and releases acid which is at an oil plant for some reason

the power comnes backa nd r lee goes on a monologue about how epic and bada55 segal is

then theres a shoot out in an oil plant cuz these guys are f--king inbred

how this? segal as batman??

so caines goons book it and lawyer sez she going to the toilet as i guess segal is so cool she's gonna shj-t her pants

segal catches the main goon who sezx he has evidence agianst caine but when he takes a swing at segal, segal throws hi into a chopper propeller

the lawyer drtives into a gasoline thing and the gas thing and the gas leaks to a fire and the fire makes the whole tghing blow!

spoiler; it wont do that! it'll burn! not blow!!

so segAL O MEAN CAINE GETS MORE GUYS IN TO GUARD IT AND i think 1 is the native guy who segal beat up the bully of at the start

so the place blows more and segal sends the elevator down woth a thing of aplsoneives in int asnd when 2 guys who he has no way of knowing were there open fire, it blowes and wacks em

so segal sets the station to overloeoad and r lee comes outta the muck with a shotgun and sez hes gonna ice segal

but segal is too much for him and takes the shotgun and blows him out

you know r lee, you couldn've just shot him instaed of talking about it

so in 3 minutes this planet i mean iol thing will blow and the bad guys cant udsre guns cuz its an oil plant even though they used em b4

segall takes em out and gets to caine and sez "what does one say to a man w/o a conscience" and goes on another speech

caine terlls segal to turn it off like segals gonna do it after blowign the plant

caine waslks away knowing segal wont cap him in da back and segal stings him up by the leg with a riope and hangs him over a water thing

then shoots the rope and he falls into it

so segal and the chick escape as the place blows for sa few mins

so later segal gives a speech about nature and how the big bad oil guys are keeping the super good tech down to make money

also theres a lot of footage poof nature and he keeps going on and on about how da urth iz f--ked and the companies are doing it

alsdo he sez how they control the media and laws and keep the people down and are damaging us

kinda like hormones and vaccines?

also he sez how we can't drink oiutta our faucents cuz of poisoin water like its detroit or michigan or w/e democrat run city is f'd

oh canada has boil water advisdories too and thats pretty coomie

also hes like a  fooot taller than everyone like hes in japan

the end

that was prertty antisubtle

preachy and over the top and most of the movie is "i'm segal! i;'m zee ubermenbbch! no one can stop me!"

its entertaining and fun and has good effects and is so bad its good

they got a briotish guy as thr vbillian like real life and nowadfays peope woould love it for being against oil and pro native

the fight scenes are good and its fun to point out all the logic errors and how it sucks segals d0ng

yeah its bad, but its the good kinda bad

if you want a dumb action film with over the top cr-p, this is good

for mon dadly ground 2 i want for miuchaerl caine to have been devolved by the chedmicals in the oil water he gfell in and trhe plant blowing caused him to turn into some kinda grotesque monstrosity. he gets revenge on the natives  and starts eating them to try to absorb their dna o return to human! also he fights nataive  cryptids and theiurt battles are all over alaska. its also a 16 bit game like king of the monstyers but on genesis, snes tg16,m atari jaguar and gba and you play as either devolved caine or one of the cryptids and fight throught alaskka.

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Storm In A Teacup Review

 Note; i spell teacops in a storm

storm in a teacup

this is my review on storm in a teacup from 1937

its directal by Victor Saville who did the iron duke and nothing else i seen

its got vivian leigh, rex harrisdioon, and no one else io know of

its based on a play i never saw and it don by alexanfder korda

i nver saw it b4 but people say its good

so after credits to lively music, we get soviet scotland and this chick comes over by boaty mcboatface

she accidentally sits on a kidscandy and a guy gets it off her a55

candya55!

sdhe tells a guy she was in soviet paris in scvhool and he helps her with her luiggage

he gets stuck in a gate and a guy takes her items and she drives off

laterthe cops come to this scot chix place and try breaking into her place to find someone

i cant tell what they say with their scrooge mcduck accents butn they say oot instead of out like canadians

they cops take her dog and are probably gonna b0ne it dead

thats big gov in soviet enfgland

the cops taking peoples items w/o consent and the peopl,e have no way to defend thhemselves

so chick goes to see her dad whos tyhe commiisar of the arera or we/e and is going for parlement

also the leader of the party is comming and dad wants to be leader to help the scots get freedom from the regent

so he's having scotland first policies?

nowadays he'd be seen as bad for not bowing to gaijin

so leggage guy comes by a place and hes a reporter and is sent to interviiewthe dad

so later dad has a famewale come by and he feels her back as i guess he;'s got a back fetish

in parlement they talk about having swimming wear mandated and is cr-ppy as you can't move in it

reporter is in the stands and so is chick and they meet

dog chick tries to appeal to hger stolen property but dad wopnt do anyhting

also i think the dog is being sent back to h e double england

so reporter has an interview with dad and dads trying to be epic

dog chick comes back for more b--ching and gets chick to try to help by chick thinking its her son gonna be executed

even after finding out its a dog, chick triues to help dog chick

btw, rtemember that irish boy who had birth issues and the brit gov didn;t allow him to get treatment in America as it would mean paying foir healthcare?

that kid slowly died and his rents were forbidden by the gov to help him

when I was born I had blood issues and needed a transfusion

Good thing I was born in America and not Soviet England

so dad gives a passionater speech about scots to reporter and later reoprter ois writing the thing

later this midget or kid comes in during reporters breakfast and sez hes f'd over hisa issues

reporter goes to a golf course and chats with chick

oh and b4 i think chicjk wanted to pay ther dog tax for dog chick bit dad refused and i thin reporter wanted to pay

so later dad is at a farm and says if we get good breeding programs for people they can be superior like the cow there

well, eugenics were pretty popular back then

tommy douglas of soviet canada supported em

later its night but spelled to-night as it ur going there and dad dads giving a speeech

oh and i think reporter wrote about the dog and it caused job issues

chick b--ches at reporter about the dog story and he defnds his sh-t

later he tells his story of how as a kid he tried to stand up for horses being whipped  and got the backhand

so now hes a little b--ch about sh-t like that

animal rights? whast next? plant rights?

you can';t mow the lawn! the grass has rights!

you can't weed the garden! the thistles haave rights!

so dad had a guy redo the article to be like for him

so just like the media spinning things to favor the bad guys today

so dad goes on and gives a speech annd acts like hitler but theres dogs b--chiung in the backgrounbd

everyone goes nuts and laughs and sings about dogs

dad gets mad at reporter and later its breaksaft and dads mad at reporter fgor f--kin up his chances

the papers mock him for the dog thing and dad has reporter hauled to a kangaroo court to find who paid him to make the bad articles

thats england! giv gov oppressing the disenters!

just like in the ussr

they try to make him sign a paper recanting his article but he dont consent and they threatren him

like cnn trying to ruin the guy who made that wwf gif of Trump taking out cnn

he tells ewm off and walks out goes to a carnival to do games lie punching a sack or breaking bottles with a thrown thing

eventrually he wions sonething and chick comforts him and hes befuddled by her callling him by his name, frank

she wanbnts to teamm up with reporeter and tell off dad together

so lastter the people aare complaining about dad ruining them and chick sees a printed thing reporter did saying he loves her

so latewr dog chick goes to say bye to the dog like the dog would understand

she ggets realy mnental over it

you know dogs only like like 12 yeras

so she sez to drink to the dog and they go out but she opens a window b4 going

i thought this was scotland not ireland!

so later at da bar da cops come to execute the dog and reporter goes to the dog place

later the dad and the homies are having smokes withough chicks and talking politicx

the droogs talk about the dog and the reaction to the speech and theres sounds happening

soon, a swarm of dogsd comes over to the building 

its an uprising! just like in 1776! but less evolved!

a minion or butler or slave or w/e sez the dog ladys dogf is gone and the droogs aint' pleased

the dogs get in and go on the table and spazz out

imagine filming this and they keep sh-tting everywhere

and yet no one smacks them as they can't have animals treated bad

remember postal with the cat silencers?

reporter is out on a horses a55 and chick sez she never wants to see him agian

imagine if he said "Tally ho!" and popped her eyes?

so the press gets word and outs the storynand dumps on dad

sao dad gets his gov homies to arrect reporter as just like president hussain and thet coptic guy who did that video that was blamed for the attack on the base

dog chick treis to get reporter to accept help but he's givenm up as hes a britmo who can't handle anything

look at how they needed America to save em 23x from ther germans!

oh and chick i think left home

so people talk abotu the caeer with good b/w style that looks like a silent film

btw this is b/w and fullscrennd

oh their doing the case over the dog being put to sleep or w/e

so they have their trtial and they got this probably inbred guy who ust agrees with everything the procestuion asks

its the stiffnecked upper crust no soul by the book stickler for rules england we know and hate and the reporter sees it as f'd

1 female says "sez u" and the brits try to make sense of it

so then the dog comes in and its owner and the people cheer for em

they have a devolved guy who can't talk for sh-t describe the dog as he examines it and defence lawyer objects but reporter dont

so the lawyers bicker and i think the fdefence queers out and leaves

chicjk is locked outta the court and sdez shes a witness and is let in by a guy

dad takes the stand and reporter tries to get him to admit its his fault everyone hates him form the dog thing

also dad says its reporters faul as reported f'd with his fam

chick comes up and sez she cant (kont) give evidence as shes married to reporter

dad sez in rpivates that he can't have a son in law serving time and its revealed that she lied

she can do hard time for purgery(which i think they bite off ur toes for) and they go back up and dad flip flops and sez reporter is right

dad submits to the dog woman and gives a speech over the radio that says every unit in the state is worthy and has rights

then reporter and chick gets married

the end

that was pretty good

shows how f;'d england is

sorta like monty python

good wit and quirk and fun and 30s clewan wholesome humor

good acting and tyhis was made when zee fuhrur is rising so england made the scots look like him

although the brits have done some evils too

like in braveheart or the patriot

its sa decent gilm and is well made and hasd good fun

glad i saw it

for storm in a teacup 2 i wanmt it to be abvout the 50s and theres not ww2 but animals have been given equal rights in scotland due to this event and now they have free reign over scotrland as they are given more rights than people. also anyone who is agasint animals is jailed and greound up into dog food. allso the daughter of the reporter and chick is a teen and is secretly a fighter against the animals as a maksed hero in a  metal bikini who fights agianst the animals with nunchaku. also its an 8 bit platform game on sega master system and game gear, nes and gameboy, tg16, atari lynx and 78000 where you play as the teen and fight through animals and sometimes have missions to save people