Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Shane Review

note; my typing is aids on a burger
this is my review of shane
I've never seen it but I heard about it on a vid about endings people get wrong
also my mom likes this 1
ooh, its from 53
jack palance is in it
he was good in batman
its widescreen
what a waste
hes called "walter jack palence"
my moms uncle is called walter
but he goes by woldek(vwa dek)
also hes polish and jack is ukranian
it starts with a boy hunting a deer
a horse man comes by and scares it away
nowadays they'd complain about a kid hunting
the horseman sez he knows the kid was watchin him come
he comments on the cows
as he gets off his horse the kid pulls a gun on him
this kidf seems maladjusted
maybe some purvo b0ned him and he's scarred fpr life
he just wanted to show him the gun
some guys are coming so he leaves
but 1st he wants the fam to put away their gun as he leaves for his preference
the coming guys come and they look like wasteland warriors
the leader wants em off the land and the dad disagrees
the horseman(who I figure is shane) stands with the fam and the wariors leave
if this were today they'd be a biker gang
the dad sez sorry to shane and they introduce eachother
also the gun wasn't loaded
then why was the kid hunting??
later they have dinner together and talk
a calf causes issue and the dad sends the kid to fix it
but the kid takes a while
I think he's got autism or something
the dad sez the only waty he'd leave is if the ice him
the kid hears and don't get it
my grandpa had to leave Slovenia when the commies took over
most of his men were killed by em and he went to soviet Canada and lived to be 94
as long as theres life theres hope
the dad sez another guy did something and the kid sez they kicked his teeth out
how come in kids shws you can have teeth punched out but you cant have bone removal?
in riki-oh this guy was deboned by riki-oh punchin holes in him and pulling em out
the next day the dad and the shane work all day to remove a stump
why not just burn it?
the next day this big a55 deer is on their land
he's eating the fams garden!
the kid comes out with a gun
but just sez "bang" and the deer runs off
then wishes he had bullets
the deer runs off
he talks to shane for a bit
they want shane to stay
in degrassi jr high, shane got spike pregnant and later did drugs and got brain damage
wrong shane
then shane goes into town and the kid wants pop
while working the kid pretends to cap things with  stick saying BANG
he asks dad if dad is tougher than shane
my dad can kick your dad's candy a55
then a neighbor comes by saying hes leaving
in town shane stops by a bar or store or something with some malcontents playing cards
synchro summon an archfiend synchro!
sjane buys some clothes
1 guy buys pop
the store guy wishes more guys drank it
if only he know of the cola wars
I went to refill my pop and when I got back some a55 is splashing shane with alcohol commenting on his smell
shane gets pop but is told by an a55 not to come back
her's gonna kill all of em
then b0ne and eat them
like that xxx star in Canada
later its a storm and a buncha guys are meeting
the dad introduces shane
they say they don't wanna be kicked outta their homes
shane walks away and the kid goes mental over the idea of shane leaving
the men decide to go into town as 1 group and get their cr-p
the next day theyre leaving anda guy sez
a married man has to get used to waiting for women
I know that
my mom takes forever to get sh-t done
my gf takes a while 2
they go around on a wagon convoy
they get 2 town and all come into the store at once
is this a thing on unions?
what about all the downsides?
getting dragged down with the 50.1% votes against ur will?
shane goes to get a drink and is harassed by the malcontents
shane buys 2 whiskeys
1 for him 1 for the guy bustin his a55
he splashes it in the guys face and slugs him out
jack penance takes him on
this turned into fatal fury!
they dance around then shane nails him
hane gets socked but counters
then theyre just slugging
jack panence has a high life bar
but shane beats his a55
the biker leader tries to seduce shane to his side
he offers the dad's woman but shane takes offence to b0ning someone elses wife and tells him off
the leader gets p-ssed and tells him to get out
then theres a big chaotic bar brawl
use jump kicks!
it works in streets of rage and mortal kombat
the kid tells the dad that they'll kill shane so he goes in and nails 2 guys with a stick
shane was getting held asnd beat b4 dat
they fight together like batman and robin
or the punisher and nick fury(when he was white)
the bar guy sez shane and him won
they leave and the leader (who got head hit) revives and sez hes gonna cap em
the dad should've made sure he busted the guys head open
or got him in the eye socket
that night the mom heals shane and dad
later the kd sez he loves shane almost as much as pa
if this were made today it wouldn't be clean love
later a pig farmer sez they killed his sow and f'd up his place
he's leaving
then theres a swarm of cows rinning over his plowed ground
the3 kid sez they cut a buncha fences
the kid asksd whatwoud shane do if he caught em
I didn't hear wat he sed
the kid sez; aww shaaaaane!
I assume he said B0NE EM DEAD
at home se sez he looked at shanes gun
shane sez to leave it alone
also he wants shane to teach him how tyo shoot
shaner teaches him gun basics
the kid weants shaNE TO shoot a rock
he nails it fast
like me synchro summing on on the 1st turn
the mom don't weant her kid to have guns around and wants all guns gone
but then they'd use knives
shane sez a gun is just a tool and is only as good ort bad as its user
nowadays the gun phobic message would be shown as positive
but back hen tey had brains
prisons have 0 guns and people are beat or b0ned dead every day
at the store/baR THE badds talk and 1 guy stands up to them
also its independence day
oh and its set in Alabama
shouldn't there be more confederate flags?
what year is this?
later its a partyand the dad sez he got married a decade ago that day
they kiss and theres a dance
shane dances with the mom
a guy sez a guy with 2 guns was hired by the leader
shane knows him and sez hes tough
like shiva from streets of rage 2 and 3
at night its dark and the fam is surrounded by guys
the leader wants the dad to work for him
he turns em doen
he also wants to but the farm from him
thern goes on a monologue about how he made this country and these candy a55es come in when the work is done
he's got some pount there
the dad sez the trappers and Indians did more b4 him
the leader sez; they wernt ranchers!
they talk for a while
just cap eachother already!
the leader offers the kid a job
then leaves
I thought he'd cap em
later the badds want to ice the dad and need to bring him in this place
they need to do it a certain way to avoid legal trouble
later a guy goes tp get whiskey and walks careful in the mud
a baddie(oh its 2guns) waljs by and menaces
I think its jack palance
thry draw guns but jack is faster
the guy slowly raises his gun and gets iced
if he's already got it on ja, you gotta hold off
a guy goes around spreading word the guy got capped
the new guy is too fast
they need to sniper his a55
the dad wants to go to town to face em
but the mom sez wait for back up
the fam wants to leave
wait, its another fam
the dad wants to at least have the guy have a funreal
they have it and pray for his soul
nowadays they'd avoid the Christian content
I hate how every film has a sad moment
except commando
and the yugioh movie
they talk about their kids needing a safe place to live
they get a speech
then the homes get burned down
they decide to rebuild
but they're in a field
theres no wood
the dad wants to settle it
the leader wants to bring the dad there
to ice
the kid wants shane to do something
the leader comes up and (wait, its not the leader) blames the guy who got capped for getting capped(he's kinda right)
they leave
a guy comes up and warns shane that the dads not going to a fair fight
the dad wants to go there with his heater
the mom whines against it
the kid is having an autism attack and running around spinning and saying BANG
once at the dollar store I wanted a police kid toy
but my mom didn't want me to get it if it had a toy gun
moms are so gun phobic
that's racist
the dad explains hid reasoning in a calm way
the dad sez shanes coming with a firearm
shane wants to go instead so dad fights him
if this were made today it would be a b0ning contest and whoever b0nes the other guy wins
the fight scares the animals
must be their KI
once I was at my cousins place and my aunts dog was there
I didnt move or say anything
but I had a negative thought on the dog
and it started freakin out
ut can sence CHI
in the fight shane busts the da with his gun
not capping
just beating
the kid sez he hates shane
what a p o s
shane otta cram his gun up the kids a55
shane leaves and the kid sez sorry
the mom sez the shane did what he had to do
I just realized this kid is like lynn and shane is like Kenshiro from Hokuto no ken
shane spends the next several mins riding in the dark
its just a black screen
he eventually gets there and talks with the real jack palance(the guy he fought b4 was another guy)
theres a stand off
calm v4 the storm
he sez jacks a low down yankee liar
shane pulls his firearm and caps ack palance then turns and ices the leader who was drawing
the kid warns shane and he caps a guy hiding
as shane leavesthe kid overcomes his autism and asks if the guy was wilson(and tells him he knew he could win)
the shane leaves and the kid wants to go with him
shane sez no and that he's not meant for home life
this reminds me of water world how keven iscter goes off to live in the ocean
the kid notice shane is leaking blood
shane sez he's fine and tells the kid to grow up strong and straight
shane leaves and the kid calls for him to come back
the end
I liked this film
its up there with john fords the iron horse in westerns
for shane 2 I'd like for it to pick up where it left off and shane goes to a holy place in the area hidden by illusions and bathe in healing water. he returns and finds that its been 5 years since he left as the water area has time properties and the kid is now a teen and the English have invaded america and taken over half of the country. the area he's in is on the borderline and the brits are planning to advance. also they have banned guns and only shane has a gun in the area(the brits attack in sheen numbers like ants swarming over an elephant and beat people with billy clubs).so shane leads an uprising against the oppressing people and starts his own independence day to free the west from English oppression.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Saturday Night Fever Review

note I cant read
Saturday night fever
this is my review on Saturday night fever
I always got this associated with Saturday night live
spoiler; mad tv is better!
I never liked s  n l as much
my mom sez it was better in the 70s
still not as good as mad tv
my rents liked the 70s where as for me, I love da 80s and 90z
btw; im watching the uncut version
it stars jon Travolta b4 he did face/off
that movie was bad but fun
you know what i want for face/off 2? william shatner and christopher walken playing eachother!
the movie starts with Travolta walking to music
staying alive
I recall his song from the 90s for a battery add with the last toy ing I think Duracell
also I imagined this song saying "zeo 5" after power rangers zeo
jon wears a leather suit and red top
he tries seducing a girl to b0ne
no dice
he goes into a store with a bag and goes back to work at the store
he talks with a guy in a hat about the mans wifes a55
later jonny is malcontent over his pay coming in Monday
the boss don't want him blowing it on a weekend of drugs and b0ning
he comes home and his rents ride his a55
we then get a montage of him gromingin a speedo
I assume he was nude in the real version
he also gets dressed
this isn't power rangers!
you don't need to eat film showing a transformation
jonny don't wanna eat as he sez he don't wanna get anything on his shirt
1st; take off the shirt and eat in ur undies (I do it)
2; he's probably got anorexia
so hewears a towel over it
the fam hits and argues
jonny is malcontent over his dad hitting his hair
also the mom has weird ways of thinking
if they wernt italiano, I'd think she was polish
that night jenny's droogs pick him up in a car and they're drinking/swearing
they want more tapes (audio cassettes)
this movie is like a less funny more sad night at the Roxbury
at the club one of his droogz is lusty and wants to b0ne
this is turning into clockwork orange
ijn the club theres a rainbow lighted floorand the Beethoven song 70s-ized
I remember on rugrats
stu wanted to keep his disco suit
angelica asked what disco is?
dee dee said
its something that was around a long time ago, and is never coming back
odd enough, the 80s and 90s never left
transformers, g I joe, he man, Robotech, thundercats, smurfs, dragonball,saulor moon, power rangers, ninja turtles, pokemon, yugioh, sonic, Mario, Zelda, contra, Castlevania, Voltron
it may sink underground for a bit
but always resurfaces
as disco inferno (not to be confused with dante's inferno) plays, the droogs talk about b0ning women and mouths
jonny dances wth a 4'9 woman but the music changes and jonny is malcontent
so many malcontent teens b0ning
its like degrassi
jonny shows interest in a wo man who can dance
they're gonna b0ne and make kids who will be in sarturday night fever GX
as a wo man gets undressed on stage in a small bikini, jonny talks with a chick about a dance contest coming up
as the now nearly nude woman dances, jonny goes to the car to get his friend outta the car
they get there and he's b0ning a chick in the car loudly and we see his tanned a55
this movie is turning into clockwork orange
then jonny dances to a bee gees song
reminds me of achy breaky heart
I think the song is called "night fever"
I assume that's slang for aids
everyones b0ning so much it might as well be
the next day jonny wakes up in bed in his undies
he reaches into his undies and checks if he still has parts
the next day they're playin some b ball
they talk about wanting more money
well... its the 70s... they could do p0rn0
at work a guy offers jonny a job that pays better
his boss gives him a $2:50 raise
but it goes to 4$
at home jonny starts b--ching about how the only time anyone ever said he was good at something was dancing and a 4$ raise
later the 4'9 chick is gonna do the dance contest with him
they go to a dance studio and the owner sez he b0nes 65% of the chix jonny recommends to try his dance place
also jonny gets free dance room time for sending the owner customers
after the 4;8 chick leaves he tries to b0ne a ballet chick
she turns him down
when jonnuy gets home hias big bro has returned and the fam is bummed
his bro is quitting being a priest
if this were made today his bro would probably wanna be a wo man or have an amputee fetish or something trendy now
at night they talk and his ex priest describes his malcontentary over having to live up to his rents expectations
my mom wants me to cut and spike my hair
I like my hair long and 80s
ohhh yuu lookd sooo goood
f dat
I hated it
jonny sez he saw the big bro as the good bro and himself as the j-ck off
now he's the good son
at the dance place he asks out the ballet girl for the dance contest and coffee
later theyre talking about different areas of new York being better or worse
I thought it was all 1 sinful slum
they talk about romeo ad juliet
spoiler; king kong was a better love story
and its intespecies romance
as they talk they find they has nothings in commons
at her office Laurence Olivier came in and jonny don't know him
in high school in the mid 00s a kid did something and the teacher said he had audacity.
no one in class knew what it meant.
i said it meant chutzpa.
no one knew what that meant either.
freekin monkeys
did they even watch the simpsons?!
once in english class i read a page as shatner.
no one knew what i was doing except the teacher.
one chick; doz sum 1 ack chew lee tokk like dat??
as they talk they find he's a loser with no plans and wasting time at a dance
reminds me of me going to yugioh turn's every weekend
later jonny finds out some Mexicans beat up/mutilated/maybe b0ned their droog
so they go for payback
this is turning into clockwork orange
they drive around looking for some Mexicans to beat up
but they don't find any
at dinner his rents accuse him of saying something that made his bro go out all night
they they go mental and yell about having sh-tty children and the bro not going back to priesthood
later jonny tells the 4'6 girl hes got a better partner
she goes mental
women get so emotional all the time over nothing
they don't see logic
just emotion
but they still deserve love
not if they're scum
but even good women can go mental
then jonny dances with the ballet chick
while dancing he takes the record and they go to a bigger room to dance
if anyone gets offended over that women comment
just remember
1; its a joke
2; if you go mental over it then ur kinda proving it true
later at night she sez she had lunch with paul anka
but jonny is malcontent
he asks her if hes interesting or smart
she sez hes interesting
maybe intelligent
remember; maybe can also mean no
then we get the dance scene with the undressed bikini girl flopping her b00bs around and people dancing
shouldn't there be more drugs?
I just realized that each dance is a new weekend
jony is with his droogs and bro
1 girl asks jonny if hes as good in bed as dancing
maybe they could do a fusion of dancing and b0ning
I just realized this film is a lot like flashdance
then jonny dances in a way impressive in the 70s
he gets the whole floor
it looks bad by todays sandards
I liked napoleon dynamite better
he does a leg thing that's pretty cool though
his bro realizes that his kid bro has skill
like my dad realizing im smart when I read Japanese
one of the droogs wants to know if the pope could give special dispensation for him killing his gf's unborn kid
the bro sez no
despite him being catholic he seems not to get certain parts of the church
like j fk or trudeau or gacy being catholic but doing contrary things
then again we all screw up
later jonny is b0ning a girl and asks her questions on her birth control
she sez shes not using any and he stops b0ning her
btw I just now realized the movie is widescreen
so much night and dark its hard to notice
they go to a bridge and screw around
dumba55 teens
then they fall off
but they were really on a platform under view
they did it to f with the ballet girl
the next day the bro moves out and suggests jonny doers something with his dancing
he left his priest neck thing
after dancing with his ballet girl him and the guys wanna go beat up some Mexicans
the girl sez she met david bowie and they talk about who he b0nes
at the burger place his droogs are a55es
the droog who got the girl pregnant asks the girl about it ansd she sez she'd rather kill than marry him
jonny quits his job cuz he wont get the afternoon off
the friend don't wanna marry a girl cuz she wont kill their kid and everyone sez they gotta marry
maybe you shouldn't have been b0ning her
the pregnancy friend was wearing high heelsthen jonny and the ballet girl drive across a bridge
she sez she got the whole day off and wasn't fired
what a j-ck off jonny is
he's so disgruntled and malcontent
at the place they go to the girl seems to have been b0ning a guy who lived there b4
despite jonny having friends who b0ne a lot, he goes mental over the idea of her b0ning him
she denies b0ning him and sez he helped her
she gets upset over his being a d-ck
he gives facts about the bridge that no one cares about
also a guy was buried in the cement in it
sounds like something that would happen at Disney land
happiest place on earth my a55
that kid getting eaten by a gater was the tip of the iceberg
later jonny sees a girl dancing with the dance place owner and goes mental over the guy's lust
wasn't that the girl he was at the apartment with?
im confused
at night they bust their car into a mexico place and fight
1 guy slugs out a chick that was beating jonny
if someone throws a punch they shouldn't be afraid to take a punch
at the hospital ThEY realize the mexico place they beat up was the wrong gang
they were in the hospital visiting the guy who got beat up
and he wasn't sure it was that gang who busted him
then its the dance contest
I shoudve mentioned b4 but im pretty sure the bridge will be important later as they mentioned it b4 so much
jonny and the 4'4 girl dance to the bee gees
its pretty calm and mellow
then some portu Ricans come o and dance to music I'd expect to hear is a 70s cop film
jonny is surprised they are good
one of his homies says they cant be cuz of their race
jonny thinks they're better than him
no one else does
the porto Ricans get 2nd and jonny gets 1st
the black guy sez jonny is the fred Astaire of brooklyn
he's nowhere near fred astaires level
jonny goes on a malcontent tirade and gives the 1st place prize to the portoricans
he b--ches for a while and tries to b0ne the 4'2 girl
he raepes her and she runs out
he fights his droogs and they say he don't care about her
wtf is his problem?!
what a p o s man!
they drive around raeping a girl and jonny does nothing
this freekin IS clockwork orange!
at the bridge they screw around
they compare d0ngz
the girl runs and jonny gets her
1 guy climbs the wires of the bridge
its the baby daddy
despite them doing the same thimng, the droogs call it dangerous
even beavis and butthead wernt that bad
he goes whiny about cr-p and gets emo
then falls off the bridge
he aint gonna be in Saturday night fever 2
this is like degrassi where that teen did grugs, fell/jumped off a bridge and got brain damage
jonny takes the subway home
the next day jonny goes to the dance partner girl and sez sorry for raeping her
he's done with dancing and wants a real job
they reconcile and hug
the end
the music was ok but this\ film has a lot of awful cr-p in it
then again I did like Urotsukidoji and violence jack and they were similar in content
not bad
kinda dark and edgy
like degrassi meets violence jack is how I'd describe this
or Urotsukidoji and degrassi
for Saturday night fever 2 I'd like the girl all the guys b0ned and the pregnant girl and jenny's girl to have has kids and its set in the early 90s where 1 is into sega and one is into super Nintendo and 1 likes both. also dancing has become the yugioh of this new world and instead of sports theres dancing contests where people settle issues with dancing and dance fighting. jonny is the king of dance but his kids is a 90s kid who wants to play sega and watch batman and power rangers and jonny is having issues from using steroids to keep up with the new kung fu dance fighters and their roids.

Queen Christina Review

note; my typing is still bad
queen Christina
this is my review on queen Christina
the greta garbo from from da 30z
I like early talkies
cool to see where they began
it starts with credits and text
in 1632 Sweden was at was for 30 years
then the king bit it
why was he in the front lines?!
then it sez they were fighting for 14 years
make up ur mind!
so they make his daughter Christina (now called chris by me) king
shes like 8
at the crowning the butler or w/e crys and chris sez men don't cry
what about in Hokuto no ken?
kenshiro sheds manly tears
or batman?
batman was f'd up though
saw his rents blown away at 8
chris gives a speech and we cut to horses running
a guy in a hat comes up the stairs to the castle
that man is greta garbo
shes a tomboy
my Japanese gramma was a tomboy in the 20s/30s
its been a timeskip and shes a grown a55 wo man
chris was called back to meet with a prince named Charles
hope he don't have his woman wacked
chris is told of her troops losses and she sez she may have to hire foreigners
hope theyere non union
her cousin comes in and they kiss on the cheek cuz theyre European
the people have a meeting or something and rthey talk about how this war is about God
defending their religion or something
she asks the poors their view
chris wants to have a peace meeting
but the people want war
she wants to stop the killing b4 the Europe is ruined and everyone crippled
she later signs a paper but I didn't read it fast enuff
later the butler comes to wake up chris and she's reading
if this were made today she'd be playing Gameboy
she goes outside and runs snow on her face
she talks about a play writer(masybe shakespere)(spoiler; shakespere s-cked)
and she talks about marriage and not wanting to sleep with a man in a room
is this a lesbian movie?
sounds like something go nagai would do
she is set to marry Charles
hope he don't have her wacked
later she talks to a frenchie who looks a bit like weird al yankovic
he's got the hair and moustache
but hes uglier
the frenchie
not weird al
later she wants to let italiano's and Spaniards each in swedens universities but her advisor thinks its bad
also chris don't wanna marry chales cuz hes only good at fighting
chris is malcontent over being a slave to the country she leads
and the pressure to breed an heir to the lineage
and having snow in sweden
isn't Sweden a polar country??
I never really knew much about it
people think Canada is a tundra country with inbred lumberjacks fighting bears and eating moose
later she talks to a guy who wants to b0ne her
but she's not interested
he looks like a a66 hole anyway
then she walks by a chick b--ching about her and she tells her off
her butler warns her that a Spaniard is coming and they gotta watch out cuz swedes are protestant
I thought they were the good guys
then chris goes out on horseback in the snow
she comes across a carriage stuck in da snow and laughs at em
what an a55
the carriage is full of Spaniards
she gives em advice and it helps
they think chris is a dude
and give her a coin with her face on it
like in the bible; give what is cesars to cesar and give what is God's to God
they arrive at the inn at night
everyone thinks chris is a dude
well, in Europe its easy to get it mixed up
several people thought I was a chick
what with my European Castlevania good looks and long blonde hair
then the Spaniards arrive
how do you think that's a dude?! its greta garbo!! considered one of the most beautiful chix in the 20s-40s
I mean lady gaga doesn't have that good a face so she shows off her bod to distract us
but still man
btw she looks a bit like that plus size model viva la Valerie
garbo, not gaga
the main Spaniard talx with chris and they get along
they discuss the differences in love between cultures
garbo don't think theres perfect love
then theres almost a barfight with 2 cowboy looking dudes over how many dudes the queen b0ned last year
1 sez 6 1 sez 9
they ask garbo and she sez 12
garbo sez it with a grin and joy
everyone cheers
shes quite a dude
if queen christina was set in modern times, greta garbo would be an 80s chick with a sleeveless jean jacket and short spiked neon hair and leather fingerless gloves and maybe 80s shades or a visor.
hay Vasquez! you ever been mistaken for a man???
no... have you??????
so chris and the main Spaniard talk and she don't wanna share a room
they go to the room and this Swedish chick starts hitting on chris
this is turning into go nagai
like kekko kamen with less naked chix
they I mean he starts getting undressed and reveals he's a knight in spain
while talking he sez men should sleep on their left side for their sword arm
if u sleep on ur left it puts pressure on ur stomach and causes weird or freaky dreams
she starts getting undressed and he sees her b00bs bulging under her top
he's glad since he sensed something and is glad he's not turning queer
the next day its snowing and they are stuck there for 3 days
also he wants to stay in bed
I assume they're b0ning
she turned straight
if this were made nowadays it would show em b0ning or nude
here it has class
she admits shes happy for once
She sez its how the Lord must've felt after beholding the finished world
they talk about their love for a while
they plan to meet again in Stockholm and go off
later back home chris sez the chick who b--ched about her can marry her love
royals deciding who can marry who???
that's un american!
then the Spaniards come in and her bf is surprised to see the chick he b0ned in a dress and as a queen
after the meeting in the room, he meets her privately
the a66 hole who wanted to b0ne her meets with and subtly tells off the Spaniard that his kind isn't welcome
he gives her a painting of the spainish king\
he has issues with her playing with his heart as shes a queen and he's a knight
but she was just happy to be not seen as a queen
the a66 whole who wanted to b0ne her spreads propaganda against her Spaniard bf
btw, only greta garbo has a Swedish accent in Sweden
everyone else sounds either american or sometimes like a cowboy
chris confronts em and they don't say anything
but once she leaves they keep b--ching
she confronts her staff
her butler wants the people protesting arrested or opened fire upon
but she sez no
had the czar been more commanding he and his fam might not have been shredded by gunfire by commies
she dismisses the guards and lets the malcontents in
she calls em out 1 at a time and uses logic to point out their errors
like pointing out errors with political correctness
but unlike the politically correct, the people accept logic and change their tune
nowadays it might be better to take down the malcontent protesters
this turn around of the people is like something president Reagan would have done
the a66 hole who wanted 2 b0ne the garbo takes the Spaniard to "protective"custody
the garbo knows he started the malcontent uprisings and he wants the Spaniard sent home
also he has given his men orders to ice the Spaniard if he is iced
she gives the spainard a passport and sends him off
whats wrong with the Spaniards?
they're Europeans too
by Portugal and Italy
the chick who b--ched about the queen gives the Spaniard a letter from da qween
the chris talks to the butler about how she has a great burdon and wants freedom
she don't wanna marry Charles (cuz hes gonnas wack her?) but is told she must
theres a big ceremony and she is told only swedes should rule Sweden
makes sense
you don't see the poles wanting to rule japan
she makes Charles the new king and isn't marrying him but rather quitting queen-ness
the people don't want her to go
this reminds me of the kings speech where that guy left leading candy a55 England for going with the fine a55 woman he loves
no one wants to take her crown off so she does it herself(which shocks people)
then she takes off her cape
what next?? her top?
She thanks the Lord for His giving her queen-ness and good breeding
then leaves
maybe now the people can elect accountable leaders instead of giving appointed people life time jobs that steer the country in their image against the will of the people
at the border the chris arrives and changes horses then goes on
meanwhile the spainard is swordfighting a guy
I think its the a66 hole who wanted to b0ne the queen
after a night at the inn, the chris gets to the shipyard
on the boat she finds the Spaniard dead
wait, he's got some hit points left
they kiss and talk and he bites it
she goes off to sail and in an iconic scene w/ good music looks toward the unknown as the wind blows
the end
that was good
not much action
but well done
they otta show this on the history channel
better than skyfall the james bond movie
for queen Christina 2 I'd like her going on an adventure to California or new jersey to fnd ther gate to h-ll to being back her bf but he comes back as a daemon. also, the a66 hole who wanted to b0ne her has starscreamed his way to becoming the king of Sweden and has taken over the Europe. so her daemon bf and her with h-ll items must fight her way to fre their country from his evil. its also a 2 player beat em up with 1 player as greta gerbo and 1 as the bf and is on sega genesis and super Nintendo and the new king has ritual sacrificed his people to become a super human.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Reefer Madness Review

note; my typing aint getting no better no non now
reefer madness
this is muy review on reefer madness
its a cautionary tale on the dangers of weed
also called pot, hash, green and (by black guys) chronic
ive never seen this fi but I hear its fun
its the 1930s version of reefer madness btw
I should note that I hear the camera men in the crow were all on blow at the time of filming
after credits we get a warning that the film is freeky but for a reason
as it warns of the dangers of drugs
then a list of symptoms of weed
I never did drugs cuz im from the 80s/90s and we had good don't do drugs adds then
it also sez this story could happen to any of our kids
we then get newspaper headlines of drug storys and then a parents meeting
a guy who looks like mr hayes from the hayes code in the 30s advices laws against pot
I should mention I like watching intervention
it should be mandatory viewing in schools
show kids the dangers of drugs and booze
not hayes tells about how weed is made and smuggled in
they burn weed?
wont the fumes kill people?
that reminds me
I played speedy gonzalas on Gameboy (but my cartridge is f'd up so i cant play the last level)
heres what i learned mexico is like by playing speedy gonzales on gb;
its near an ice cap, the pyramids and cheese island,
its got big patches of fire(where cartels burn their victims?)
theres deadly smoke from chimney's (pot?)
if you touch a snake or a mexican you die on contact,
fatal dark liquid falls from the ceiling(acid?)
and theres "cheese" wheels everywhere(full of drugs?)
not hayes then tells of a recent event involving chronic
in an apartment a wo an was doing drugs
her an complains about her not doing something
I don't know
im not realy paying attention
she gets dressed and some people come over
she mentions that her man brings in kids to do drugs and maybe b0ne
later a guy sez hes having a party at his grammas
its got a pool
later a friend of the party guy warns that the kid the part guy talked to is bad news
I should mention these alleged teens are played by 30 year olds
later its a dance and boys are dancing with dames
at the dancing place the friends of the apartment woman talk about getting more people
a pianist sneaks into a closet and does weed
I assime it was blow in the real version
the party guy and his girl are invited to a party by an adult who does drugs
the party guy and is girl are wholesome and clean cut and polite
like kids up to the 50s
in the 60s they got into drugs and turned bad
I assume this is a metaphor for youth being innocent and clean and when they get corrupted by s=x and beer and bad influences and left wing stuff it turns em malcontent
te party guy comes back home and his kid brother pokes fun at him for having a gf
whats wrong with that?
would it be better if he had a boyfriend?
I think the kid is queer
maybe he wants to turn his bro
imagine if there was a "dont do drugs" ep of yugioh where someone loses a card game and gets so bummed he turns to drugs.
wait that's bandit keith
later  the party boy comes to the dancing place (a drink shop or w/e like in power rangers) and hangs with the drug womans friends
ey o to the apartment and everyones dancing
the apartment wo man is outta smokes and uses the party boy to get a lift
its someone else
party guy (a teen) is smoking (cuz its da 30Z) AND a girl gets him to do chronic
the guy getting smokes arrives and gives the driver a smoke
I hope its only tobacco
in the place with the smokes the guys talk and a big guy is unhappy theyre selling weed to kids
the other guy sez he can retire...permanently!
on his way out he sez he wishes the guy had kids
I assume hes gonna b0ne em
on the drive back the driver is on rugs so he runs over a guy from speeding
the driver is disgruntled
i heard a fun story. a teen babysits a baby. the rents call and she sez she put the turkey in the oven.
they return to find she did drugs and cooked the baby
in a meeting a guy wants to stop weed but it grows wild in every state in the union
even Alaska??
and the only way to stop it is education
they go over past examples of drufgs gone bad
1 kid chopped up his fam with an axe
1 girl did drugs and got b0ned by like 5 guys
the pty boy  in a meeting with a dr and he's not doing well
the dr gives him hope saying he's always there for him
later the party boy is said to have not been in class or weex
hes partying and maybe b0ning
at the drug party theyre b0ning and lolling and drugging
later the cops show up asking a girl about a hit and run
nowadays i see adds for driving high.
they say you shouldnt drive when high.
the thing is, in my day we had adds that said; dont do drugs.
now its ok for drugs but not when driving.
but; if this continues, its gonna be; ok, u can drive high...but not at night.
then; u can drive high at night, but not in weather,
then; u can do it in weather, but not in winter.
we keep pushing in the wrong direction.
the problem isnt "driving" when high, the problem is "being" high in the 1st place!
its like; hey guys, dont eat people in public, people might get grossed out.
a girl is looking for her bf who's on drugs and is advised to go to the apartment
while there she doers weed
while on drugs the guy trys mo lesting her
her bf comes out and sees it but is on drugs so he thinks shes consenting
he slugs out the mo les ter
a guy with a gun comes out and they fight and the gun goes off, killing thwe gf
a guy gets the killers out and sets it up so the bf thinks he did it]
this is a guy telling the story
hows he know about the trickery?
also in violence jack, the guy ate his gf
I read there was cannibalism in here
maybe the remake
the smoke getter sez the hit and run guy wont be found out but he has to deny bering at the apartment
he could black male him into b0nng him
mr rogers was an 80s show.
was there ever a "dont do drugs" episode?
like; someone from the BAD neighborhood visits. and gets prince tuesday hooked on something awful.
so king friday XIII gets him into rehab.
and prince tuesday learns he should never do drugs...until he relapses...
at the trial a guy sez the kids behavior is probably done by drugs
also the apartment woman and her man talk and the man goes to see the boss
the boss is the guy who suggested retiring... permanently!
they suggest wacking someome
there otta be a drug episode of robotech where one guy gets into drugs after his team mate gets blown up
at the trial things look bad for the drug user
the jury wants to string him up
except 1 guy
one other sez they otta "make an example outta him"
he's found guilty
his rents are busted up over it
he's gonna get b0ned dead in jail
there otta be a sailor moon ep about drugs
like sailor venus does drugs at a party and OD'd and was in a coma and got f'd pregnant by some guys
so in the hospital she got more food with a feeding tube and got fat.
she wakes up 8 months pregnant w/ brain damage and muscle atrophy so she cant work out or properly walk and is having a rough hormonal pregnancy.
she also sweats a lot and has B O and cant use her motor skills right so she eats messy and stinks
that would scare kids outta drugs
to quote a restaurant add from da 90s
hay, it could happen.
at the apartment a guy is busted up over the kid they framed getting the guillotine
hes also on drugs
he ants to see a guy
the chick plays piano fast and the guy bites it
he's just freakin out
the apartment woman man comes in and the guy kills him with a stick
the cops bust in and arrest em
then using the info the arrested gave em, start taking down druggies and leaders
the apartment woman outs the killer of the gf and explains everything
oh, the guy the party guy invited to the party did something
I don't know
I cant keep the characters straight
she pleads guilty to moral cr=p and the judge overturns the jury choice in the killing
she gets off easy in exchange for nailing the bad news guy
she thinks with regret over the lives she destroyed and jumps out a 30th story floor
the judge lets off the party boy and sez he has to see the bad news guy's trial to see his almost future
but the bad news guy is brain damaged from doing too much weed
then not hayes gives a speech about informing kids of danger to keep em safe
as it could be our kids turned into junkies
the end
I liked this
I didn't really see anything wrong with the story or characters
people say its bad
I think its a normal 30s filme
maybe not everything was 100% accurate
but the message was there
for reefer madness 2 I'd like it to be in the 60s and known junkie j fk has legalized all drugs to deal with his addiction and moral/legal issues that even his deviant bro r fk cant keep down. with no one to stop the dealers, people become full on addicts and fuly immoral with them b0ning in the streets and rampant cannibalism. to stop em, a vigilante takes down drug dealers by forcing drugs into em and making them OD just enuff to be cripples (but they're minds are still aware of everything) and then sells em to some underground P0RN0 group that makes cripple xxx and they get B0NED on cam in front of everyone! now mr cooper, your marks are too low, even for special ed! ur gonna need some, EXTRA LESS0NS! ahhhhh! u wont talk ur way outta diss again! AHHHHHHHHHH!!

Friday, July 15, 2016

The Petrified Forest Review

note; I was up all night. theres typoes
the petrified forest
this is my review on the pwetrifierd forest
its got bogart and leslie howard
im not big on bogart
but I liked howartd
this is tv G??
but a few guys get capped!
ooh, bette davis is in this
she was the nasty hag in whatever happened to baby jane
but this was b54 she rotted
it starts with a guy walking in the wastelands
like Hokuto no ken
he eventually comes by a gas station
its just 2 guys in a car
its said its their last chance to ill up
the gas worker is playing football by himself
this jolly geezer talks about coming to the wasteland 56 years ago
he sez billy the kid opened fire at him as a joke
the geezer talks about telegraphs
one customer says sh-t against america so the head of the gas station kicks em out
oh and they mentioned a gangster
the gas owner has a daughter as bette davis who don't care for his pro america ways
oh and the gas owner was in the war
the football guy hits on the bette davis as she tries to read poetry
remember that kids show poetree?
that tree that did poems?
I saw like a few eps in da 90s
the football guy and the bette davis talk about love
he kisses her and the leslie howard comes by wantying something to eat
he don't knowwhat a bar b q is
freekin foreigner!
the place they live is called black mesa
in Robotech games was a place called little mesa and new mesa
he claims to be an american once removed
then the gas owner comes out in his military uniforme
the geezer sez e gangster iced 6 and is in the area cuz he's got a newspaper that sez so
the geezer showas the leslie horaed thaper with the gagster
he sez a killwer holds his chin in
the geezer talks about his encounters with billy the kid and mark twain
the leslie howard sez hes a writer
he tells his name but idont recall it so im calling him lesblie howard
the bette davis sez she was born in frasnce and her mom lives there but dad left her
oh they were married
I thought she was illegitimate
I assumer she was a war baby
I hear Koreans are not happy with Koreans who marry americans and make half american children
plus Samsung doing windfarms that ruin places and harm people and animals
so the bette davis reads the liasin howard poetey
she plans on selling the place and going to freance
howard sez hes married to a chick who was rich who wanted him to be a good writer
she showed him the world but latr left him for a brazillian
liesie howerd sez he wants to find something worth living and biting it for
so he travlezs america
the bette davis shows him her paintings she drew
wtf shes in Arizona
I got a youtube friend out there
the bette davis struggles between her freniech and american protoculturte
she also don't wanna marry
he sez hes an intellectual and theyre running out
he whines about how nature is fighting back at them as revenge for making progress against it
he goes on for some poetic deep ramblings
he sez he was born 1901
too early for ww1
too late for something
and the bertte davis is a new generation to do something
she talks about petrified woods in a forest that turned to stone somehow
they talk about love
he starts to leave but wants a kiss
but then the football guy comes in
it only cost him 30 cents to eat
but he has no cash
then some customers come over and are on the way to the coast
she asks for them to taker lesliehowerd and the driver pats him down/looks him over then sez yes
the bettedavuis gives him a dollar saying its his change
he sez he meant it for her bt she sez tipping is un-American (it is! never tip!)
he goes with em and the radio warns of the gangster
something happens to the driver car and they go off
at the gas store the better davis sez to the footeballer that klesbi howard said they theink they beat nature but cant
and they gotta admit nature cant be beat
maybe if we nuked more we might win
isn't that the opposite message of the glbal warming commies?
then the gamgsters come in
leslie comes in but the gangstarrs hold him captive 2
football guy don't like gangster but geezer thinks hes like a deperado
cuz gangsters are foreigners and hes american
leslie howerd sez he knows from the stars that hes gonna bite it
grampa geezer is glad to be with killers
football guy sez the gangsters are chicke for usimg guns
real men use fists
one guy he p-ssed off too much holds a gun on him but bogart calls him off
they listen to the radio and its revealed the car leslie went with was also part of bogarts gang
foootballl asks how leslie howard is gonna pay for his drinks but he sez hes got a dollar and sez the bette vdavies gave him it
foortball reveals he was gonna b0ne her b4 the gang showed up
lersvie howrds sez he and bogart belong in the desert berried the petrified forrest
she sez she'd only able to love leslie hoeard
she wants to go away with him
she wants to restore leslies heart
leslie is drunk and stands up but bogart tells him not to
leslie sez hes no threat to him
its like in school how teachers whine about u eating lunch standing
leslie tells off the geezer for not giving the bette davies his money
bogart tells off leslie for being mean to a geezer
foorball takes the gun and people come in
then in the chaos bogart blows off footballs hand
geese howard gets his lfe insurance policy
later he asks terry bogard to ice him
he uses logic to help him along
but after people say hes in love with the bette davis
he thinks he's worth more to her iced than breathing
and she has a great destiny
btw the he car lesguie was in wernt the ganfgs homies
good duality between the intellectual ledlie and the common yet streetwise bogart
also are 2 black guys; the gang one who is more laid back, and the driver who is honorable and by the book
its like good burger but more srs
the bette davis sez the place is gonna be famous for where the bofgart stopped
she might be an actress but lesno sez she otta be selfish and only caring of herself
the rich guys wine b--ches about her wantinfg to do her own thing but her fam oput her best ntentions ahead and she got married and is malcontent
bogart sez he was in jail a lot
I assumer he was b0ned by lotsa dudes
leslie sez he loves her ansd gives her advice
she wants to go with him but he tells her no
then come ww1 guys come in and are caught by the gangsters
they say his other car of homies was caught and they know his plans
leslie eggs him on to escape and not get even with the chick who outed him
then a car comez by and a gunfight breaks out
1 guy bits it
seeing gunfire turns leslie straight and he almost wants to live
he's turning american
lislie and the bette davis kiss
I assume they b0ned in ther real version
bogart tries to leave but leslie blocks him
so he caps him
they have a tender moment and he bites it with his chin on her b00bs
geezer sez  he wanted her to go to framce and wrote her a will for 5000 bones
then its discovered that they gort bogart
she sez shes gonna berry him in the prettified forstadt
the end
this was a good one
and I liked bogard in here
he wasn't doing his usual thing
for the petrified forest 2 I'd like for bette davis to have eaten leslie howard in a ritual to absorb him and used his bones to make swastikas and pentagrams, and she b0ned the football guy to reincarnate leslie as her next kid. but really his soul is trapped in her and they share a body with them b0ning in her dreams. she eventually gets sick of him but cant get rid of him ad decides to get pregnant and poop him out as a baby. she does but he has all his memories and grows faster from being part adult. she decides to get even with him and becomes a scientist who creates nucular items to wipe out nature and make the future of 199x a cyber city w/o gross a55 plants or bugs or dogs that go mental when you walk by their yard