Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Shane Review

note; my typing is aids on a burger
this is my review of shane
I've never seen it but I heard about it on a vid about endings people get wrong
also my mom likes this 1
ooh, its from 53
jack palance is in it
he was good in batman
its widescreen
what a waste
hes called "walter jack palence"
my moms uncle is called walter
but he goes by woldek(vwa dek)
also hes polish and jack is ukranian
it starts with a boy hunting a deer
a horse man comes by and scares it away
nowadays they'd complain about a kid hunting
the horseman sez he knows the kid was watchin him come
he comments on the cows
as he gets off his horse the kid pulls a gun on him
this kidf seems maladjusted
maybe some purvo b0ned him and he's scarred fpr life
he just wanted to show him the gun
some guys are coming so he leaves
but 1st he wants the fam to put away their gun as he leaves for his preference
the coming guys come and they look like wasteland warriors
the leader wants em off the land and the dad disagrees
the horseman(who I figure is shane) stands with the fam and the wariors leave
if this were today they'd be a biker gang
the dad sez sorry to shane and they introduce eachother
also the gun wasn't loaded
then why was the kid hunting??
later they have dinner together and talk
a calf causes issue and the dad sends the kid to fix it
but the kid takes a while
I think he's got autism or something
the dad sez the only waty he'd leave is if the ice him
the kid hears and don't get it
my grandpa had to leave Slovenia when the commies took over
most of his men were killed by em and he went to soviet Canada and lived to be 94
as long as theres life theres hope
the dad sez another guy did something and the kid sez they kicked his teeth out
how come in kids shws you can have teeth punched out but you cant have bone removal?
in riki-oh this guy was deboned by riki-oh punchin holes in him and pulling em out
the next day the dad and the shane work all day to remove a stump
why not just burn it?
the next day this big a55 deer is on their land
he's eating the fams garden!
the kid comes out with a gun
but just sez "bang" and the deer runs off
then wishes he had bullets
the deer runs off
he talks to shane for a bit
they want shane to stay
in degrassi jr high, shane got spike pregnant and later did drugs and got brain damage
wrong shane
then shane goes into town and the kid wants pop
while working the kid pretends to cap things with  stick saying BANG
he asks dad if dad is tougher than shane
my dad can kick your dad's candy a55
then a neighbor comes by saying hes leaving
in town shane stops by a bar or store or something with some malcontents playing cards
synchro summon an archfiend synchro!
sjane buys some clothes
1 guy buys pop
the store guy wishes more guys drank it
if only he know of the cola wars
I went to refill my pop and when I got back some a55 is splashing shane with alcohol commenting on his smell
shane gets pop but is told by an a55 not to come back
her's gonna kill all of em
then b0ne and eat them
like that xxx star in Canada
later its a storm and a buncha guys are meeting
the dad introduces shane
they say they don't wanna be kicked outta their homes
shane walks away and the kid goes mental over the idea of shane leaving
the men decide to go into town as 1 group and get their cr-p
the next day theyre leaving anda guy sez
a married man has to get used to waiting for women
I know that
my mom takes forever to get sh-t done
my gf takes a while 2
they go around on a wagon convoy
they get 2 town and all come into the store at once
is this a thing on unions?
what about all the downsides?
getting dragged down with the 50.1% votes against ur will?
shane goes to get a drink and is harassed by the malcontents
shane buys 2 whiskeys
1 for him 1 for the guy bustin his a55
he splashes it in the guys face and slugs him out
jack penance takes him on
this turned into fatal fury!
they dance around then shane nails him
hane gets socked but counters
then theyre just slugging
jack panence has a high life bar
but shane beats his a55
the biker leader tries to seduce shane to his side
he offers the dad's woman but shane takes offence to b0ning someone elses wife and tells him off
the leader gets p-ssed and tells him to get out
then theres a big chaotic bar brawl
use jump kicks!
it works in streets of rage and mortal kombat
the kid tells the dad that they'll kill shane so he goes in and nails 2 guys with a stick
shane was getting held asnd beat b4 dat
they fight together like batman and robin
or the punisher and nick fury(when he was white)
the bar guy sez shane and him won
they leave and the leader (who got head hit) revives and sez hes gonna cap em
the dad should've made sure he busted the guys head open
or got him in the eye socket
that night the mom heals shane and dad
later the kd sez he loves shane almost as much as pa
if this were made today it wouldn't be clean love
later a pig farmer sez they killed his sow and f'd up his place
he's leaving
then theres a swarm of cows rinning over his plowed ground
the3 kid sez they cut a buncha fences
the kid asksd whatwoud shane do if he caught em
I didn't hear wat he sed
the kid sez; aww shaaaaane!
I assume he said B0NE EM DEAD
at home se sez he looked at shanes gun
shane sez to leave it alone
also he wants shane to teach him how tyo shoot
shaner teaches him gun basics
the kid weants shaNE TO shoot a rock
he nails it fast
like me synchro summing on on the 1st turn
the mom don't weant her kid to have guns around and wants all guns gone
but then they'd use knives
shane sez a gun is just a tool and is only as good ort bad as its user
nowadays the gun phobic message would be shown as positive
but back hen tey had brains
prisons have 0 guns and people are beat or b0ned dead every day
at the store/baR THE badds talk and 1 guy stands up to them
also its independence day
oh and its set in Alabama
shouldn't there be more confederate flags?
what year is this?
later its a partyand the dad sez he got married a decade ago that day
they kiss and theres a dance
shane dances with the mom
a guy sez a guy with 2 guns was hired by the leader
shane knows him and sez hes tough
like shiva from streets of rage 2 and 3
at night its dark and the fam is surrounded by guys
the leader wants the dad to work for him
he turns em doen
he also wants to but the farm from him
thern goes on a monologue about how he made this country and these candy a55es come in when the work is done
he's got some pount there
the dad sez the trappers and Indians did more b4 him
the leader sez; they wernt ranchers!
they talk for a while
just cap eachother already!
the leader offers the kid a job
then leaves
I thought he'd cap em
later the badds want to ice the dad and need to bring him in this place
they need to do it a certain way to avoid legal trouble
later a guy goes tp get whiskey and walks careful in the mud
a baddie(oh its 2guns) waljs by and menaces
I think its jack palance
thry draw guns but jack is faster
the guy slowly raises his gun and gets iced
if he's already got it on ja, you gotta hold off
a guy goes around spreading word the guy got capped
the new guy is too fast
they need to sniper his a55
the dad wants to go to town to face em
but the mom sez wait for back up
the fam wants to leave
wait, its another fam
the dad wants to at least have the guy have a funreal
they have it and pray for his soul
nowadays they'd avoid the Christian content
I hate how every film has a sad moment
except commando
and the yugioh movie
they talk about their kids needing a safe place to live
they get a speech
then the homes get burned down
they decide to rebuild
but they're in a field
theres no wood
the dad wants to settle it
the leader wants to bring the dad there
to ice
the kid wants shane to do something
the leader comes up and (wait, its not the leader) blames the guy who got capped for getting capped(he's kinda right)
they leave
a guy comes up and warns shane that the dads not going to a fair fight
the dad wants to go there with his heater
the mom whines against it
the kid is having an autism attack and running around spinning and saying BANG
once at the dollar store I wanted a police kid toy
but my mom didn't want me to get it if it had a toy gun
moms are so gun phobic
that's racist
the dad explains hid reasoning in a calm way
the dad sez shanes coming with a firearm
shane wants to go instead so dad fights him
if this were made today it would be a b0ning contest and whoever b0nes the other guy wins
the fight scares the animals
must be their KI
once I was at my cousins place and my aunts dog was there
I didnt move or say anything
but I had a negative thought on the dog
and it started freakin out
ut can sence CHI
in the fight shane busts the da with his gun
not capping
just beating
the kid sez he hates shane
what a p o s
shane otta cram his gun up the kids a55
shane leaves and the kid sez sorry
the mom sez the shane did what he had to do
I just realized this kid is like lynn and shane is like Kenshiro from Hokuto no ken
shane spends the next several mins riding in the dark
its just a black screen
he eventually gets there and talks with the real jack palance(the guy he fought b4 was another guy)
theres a stand off
calm v4 the storm
he sez jacks a low down yankee liar
shane pulls his firearm and caps ack palance then turns and ices the leader who was drawing
the kid warns shane and he caps a guy hiding
as shane leavesthe kid overcomes his autism and asks if the guy was wilson(and tells him he knew he could win)
the shane leaves and the kid wants to go with him
shane sez no and that he's not meant for home life
this reminds me of water world how keven iscter goes off to live in the ocean
the kid notice shane is leaking blood
shane sez he's fine and tells the kid to grow up strong and straight
shane leaves and the kid calls for him to come back
the end
I liked this film
its up there with john fords the iron horse in westerns
for shane 2 I'd like for it to pick up where it left off and shane goes to a holy place in the area hidden by illusions and bathe in healing water. he returns and finds that its been 5 years since he left as the water area has time properties and the kid is now a teen and the English have invaded america and taken over half of the country. the area he's in is on the borderline and the brits are planning to advance. also they have banned guns and only shane has a gun in the area(the brits attack in sheen numbers like ants swarming over an elephant and beat people with billy clubs).so shane leads an uprising against the oppressing people and starts his own independence day to free the west from English oppression.

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