Monday, January 31, 2022

The Ace Of Hearts Review

 Note: I spell like an Ace in the Hole in my a55!

The Ace Of Hearts

This is mt revew on The Ace Of Hearts from 1921 (100 years before Johnny mnemonic happened where they had brain cyber implants, cyberization, and vhs tapes)

its based on the pulp novel the purple mask by Gouverneur Morris who as related to Foundingf Father Gouverneur Morris and wrote The book The Penaltry was based on (Also by Lon Chaney)

Its dircted by Wallace Worsley who did The Penalty and the 23 Hunchback of Notre Dame

It starsa Lon Chaney who was the undisputed King of Horror until he died with the Silent Era, Leatrice Joy from The Ten Commandments (20s ver) and Show People, John Bowers who was the inspoiration of the guy in A Star Is Born, Civil War Hero Son Hardee Kirkland, Raymond Hatton from The Cheat, In Cold Blood, Day the World Ended, the 11933 Alice in Wonderland, the 223 The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Cullen Landis who was in WW2, and a few guys I never heard of

It orginnally had a differemnt ending but Sam Goldwyn thought it was unrealiatic and made em change it

I saw this b4 and its pretty good with some interenting ideas while stayng true to the Lon Chaney style

So after title aND CREDITS we get these guys gathering in a home for a meeting aand say the chick(Who's named after Adam's 1st woman b4 Eve) isn't there but they'll do it anyway

they decide that 1 guy who they say hAs power to make thew worl;d better, made the woprld worse (According to who?) and as 1 of the members has faked being his homie for 3 montrhs to keep tabs on the man lately

he thinks wacking him would make the world a better place and a guy named forrest who faked being his butler, says "he lived too long"

Then the leader asks Lon who was painting the targewts picture for 3 months and he sayys the ssame

they vote on it and all agree to put him to sleep like one of those european countries do to anyone who feels bad that day

they take a break til 10 and Lon and Forrest almost bump into each other and both go out

Lon and Forrest go to a home and flip a coin tto see who goes up,

Lon wins and goes up and in this plae we see a guy making something with a button that turns

Lon returns downstairs and forrtest goes up to the girl they both seem to like and he tells her one of them will be sent to wack someone and it might be a suicide mission

she's ok with this as the mission is important and he loves her but she never thought of love before cuz shes a commie or w/e

despite being a bad guy commie occupy movement dink; he loves her and took a license to marry her but she only thinks of their mission to wack peoplew the leader makes them think dont deserve to live

unlike today when the media tells us who to hate because that person doesn't agree with them

so the chick and the guys go out and she sez "don't take l.ife to heart! hear that wind? Who knows but the world may end tonight"

My ideas: 1: You mean the rapture? 2: Man, this predicted the Soviets in the 60s-90s!

So at the meeting place they have a device where you turn the monogram plate to the far left anbd 5 mins later it blwos

the chick and guys come by and are shown the thing, then chick shuffles a deck of cards and has Lon cut the deck

Whoever draws the Ace of Hearts gets the mission and she hands out cards 1 by 1 to the guys

no onew gets it the 1st time so she deals more cards and this is like that Yugioh ep and manga chapter where Tea was in the Ferris Wheel and this guy had Yugi lay a caRD Game where if he gets 4 of the same card on a thing; the wheel cart blows

foorrsst gets the ace and is spazzing out and chick likes him for it and he';s glad to go to h e double societ california for the cause

1 of tyhe members is glad its not him as he's got a wife and kids but forrest is happpy its him

he plans to put the thing in the table the target eats at for breakfast and they give him money in caSE He needs to escape after it blows

she's go gay for the cause that she's gonna marry him to giuve him courage to do it

lon spazzes out over it and forrest sez he feels sorry for him and they go out

Lon goes after saying sorry and he';s not sure how to last the night and outside shows really emotional distraught faces

In real life; Lon Chaney's parentys were deaf so he mastered nonverbal communication from birth

Which explains why he's one of the best silent actors

so lon goes to their place and asks if they married and they sez =yes nd fopprrest gave her his moms ring (like in forrest gump?) ands they go in

i thiunk for a marriage to be official you gotta b0ne

lon waits outside like a stalker and a storm startts

inside they are romantic in a clean way and he dsez he gotta be at the restaurant by 7 or it would be suspect

sher thinks he's a hero for wacking a guy thhey dont like and the next sday the storm stopped and he trys to get up b4 chick but she wakes and sees him

now that they have lovbe they quersation theirt kommie teachings and chick thinks icing that guy might not be good

he wishes he had a normal job instead of kult hit man and wishes that only the bad guys wiould suffer

she suggets dumping the item in the river and running off toi the west and changing their names but he sez whereever they gom the group would find em

lon is nice to a dog outside, whiuch kinda predicts hitler and peta as both hate people and love animal

forrest dont wanna break his oath as even thoguh he';s the bad guy, he has some honor.

sorta like how in reddit and tumblr they have these malcontents who have a weird honor code but are on with ruining people they don't like

once i saw a show wherte Rabbi's talk and 1 said: no one doers anything knoiwing its bad, hitler thoguth he was doign good, stalin thought he was doing good, peta thinks its doing good"

so he has his woman go to bed and sez he only has enough courage to do thign and can't kiss her

he goes out and meets lon and they go off to the mission and he has lon promice to takje care of his woman if anything happens to him

lon returns to the klub base and tells em forrest is doing the mission anfd the klub goes to have breakfast

later chick comes  to the base and tells lon that forrest won't do it and lon sez they execute traitors

sher sez if lon had drtawn the ace of hearts then she'd have married him and be asking forrwst for help to save lon

lon sez cuz he loves her he;'s gonna help her but if forrest gets it; she'd marry him

she consents and trys to escape when lon isnt looking to warn forrest so he'd betraY the klub but lon locks them in

She admits to have been lying so he'd help them and she could sdave him but the thing about if Lon got the Ace of Hearts in Attack Mode was true

lon opens the door but its too late now even to phone him to save him

at the restaurant the forrest sees a lovey doveey couple who''s running away to get married as he plants the item

the targewt comes in and tells forrest to stay eright next to him until he ortrders breakfast and its almost time for it to blow!

laater the kommie Klub is together and tthe paper comes in saying the president will force packers to end wage fight and coommie strikes sweep the nation

forresty comes back andf has the item and says he was moved by these 2 lovers at a near table who wanted to be bmarried and he couldn't blow the area

the head of the group sez to take the chick wjho ruined him and go and they'll decide in cult wway how to end him

he says to do him here and get it over with but they dopnt and he and chick leave

he sez its better he gets f';d than to ruin those innocent loving children (Are they 17? and legally the same as age 7?)

outside he tells chick his love gives him courage but only for good things and they go off

later its night or something and lon is pleading wiith the group emotionally and sez he's not sure the world can be fixed wiith violence but instead needs love

wasn't this the plot of Monsters Inc?

lon ttakkes the device and puts it away but turns the knob so its activate

the headmaster sez to wack the target later ands now they gotta decicde who ends forrest and they deal cards

Lon gets ther Ace of Hearts and is happy and laughs and when asked whats so funny, he sez he'd tell em in 2 seconds

lon laughts like the joker and then the item blows and blasts em all to h e double california

didn't White Heat do this too with James Cagny Top \Uh Da World Ma!! ??

later the cops cheecxk the place and we see lon chaney's arm holding the ace of hearts

later its the country and the chick and forrest read a paper abpout a place blowing in the city with 7 guys wacked in it and 1  hand was holding the Ace of Heartsd

they realize they sare fre and walk off

the end

but in the real version; they ssee the ace of hearts in a tree and when forrest returns home, he sees lon who is mnissing an asrm and says he saw the error of his ways and is good now

but goldwiyn didnt like that

overall its a good movie and holds up

great expression of the tormented lon chaney and the other actors are good

nice filming and it tells a clean story that is cool and mature but not explicit

good twists and i like how it shows the goodness inside bad people winning

Well done film that is from the bad guys pov but stiull has a positive look

glasd I saw this one. its worth watching

and its public domain and only like 74 mins

For The Ace Of Hearts 2 I want the couple to have a kid but he's all devolvved and daemonic and it turns out that their invoolvement in thast group was a fortme of daemon worship and it corrupted their dna, so they gotta find these holy ityems needed to restore them and their kid in holy temples in Eastern Europe. Also its a 16 bit game of Sega Genesis, Snmes, GBA, TG16 asnd Atari Jaguar where you play as the hugband or wiife and go througfh temples and beat guardians to get the holy items, and as the game boss, you fight the daemon that the group worshipped to free yourself and fam.

Thursday, January 27, 2022

White Tiger Review

 Note I spell better than the marvel hero

White Tiger

This is my review on White Tiger from 1923

It satarts Priscilla Dean FROM tHE wICKED dARLING, Matt Moore from the 10s 20 000 leagues under ther sea and the unholy 4 i meaN 3, Raymondf Griffith from All Quiet on the Western Front, the horrid wallace beery from The Last of the Mohicans, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, The Champ and Ttreasure Islandf, Emmit King from the 30s Man in the Iron Mask, and sdomew 1800sa homioes i nerver heard of

its directyed by Tod Browning who did The Unholy 3, Freaks and Fraculas, which are NOT P0RN0ES

i never saw this b4 but its public domain and I like T B

Huh, its a remake of OPutside The Lawe frimn Todd Browbnning too

So after credits we get text about the White Tiger which make it seem like Starscream

in the home of mike donovan (Wasn't he Guile in the cheesy a55 90s Street Fighter Cartoon?) Scotland yard is watching his place or something and he senses danger

his kids, a boy and a girl (*In a struggle for truth?) play safe and therews a  guy called bill hawkes who is in there and is gonna signal da cops

backl door billy isnt nice to da kids and boy sez he hopes billy is alive when hes a ghrown up

donovan triusts billy and boy goes out by a cop as billy gives the signal, a window shade thing

dA cops come in and cap donovan as HE  may havbe had a gun and a chick tells boy they killed his dad and sister as he spazzes out

but girl is allive and told by billy donovan bit it and she will to if she talks

15 years later; they think the other is in h e double soviiet england and its at a wax museum like in the Sega Game Mastyer of Darkmess

billy goes by donelli and hid in the evil area of soviet paris and girl is faking being his daughter

theres a mechanical chess player (Like the game boy chess master?) that is operated by boy and he wants revenge on the guys who iced hius fam

he dont know that girl is his sister and likes her, and i think shes a pick pocket

he crawls outta the chess players a55 and gets dressed up to be with girl and his co worker thinks hes gay for her

is this where star wars ghot it?

are they gonna inbreed?

so he meets her and sez he thought she was a cop and they see a guy with a thing on his tie

later they remeet and she gives him an item and we look through the wax museum at historical things of torture and revengfe

she wwants to do it to the guy who got her dad iced  and sez it to back door billy

billy has girl talk to boy and remninds er that shes hisd kid and she tells boy her dad wants to see him at their place tonight

in the real vewrsion he b0ned him there

so at da home billy dont trist chivcks in there as they might steal anmd bickerts with girl and looks over wallets

he sez if he can get boy on his side she can stop pickpocketing

boy comes by looking like walt disney witn that hair and moustache, maybe gomez addams, and billy offers to bring the mechanicxal chess player to america with em to make big money

da cop and a guy come in asking if any of those 3 did something aND guy sez no BD THEY GO

cops coming in without a warrent to accuse people?

How Un American!

so then billy sez his iddea of count donelli amnd daghter have a mechanical chess player and society falls for it

boy asks if he knew mike donovan and billy sez no

boy sez donovan wwas his dad and cleans his nails with a switch blade and sez hawkes iced his dad/sdister and he wants revenge like Cutey Honey or the Inuyasha cast

billy sez the killer is probably dead by now and invites him to America

boy asez he likes girl like a sister as i guess even in the 200s; inbreeding wasn't ok in films yet

billy sez he always wanted a son and they go to soviet new york later

1 guy, richard longwirt (ding long weortj?! is this a p0rn0?!) is interested in thjem (oh f--k! it IS a p0rn0!!) and billy and girl lreased the hamilton residence

so thry live i a big a55 house and ding long worth bugs em every day

boy smokes whiuch is gonna kill him like drinking or b0ning a lot and girl fakes being billys seretary

boy dont trust dick and thinks hes up to something and claims to be the brainsd buy she bickers with him

billy comes down and shuts their a55es for em being too loud and dick comes by so they get dressed up and fake being rich

1 butler looks like mussolini and brings dick in and boy fakes being a man of the king

dick sez a bishop wants to try to beat the jinzo ningen chess player and girl goes out in his big white car with him

so after a buncha dates with diick and they go to this cabin in the catskills, oh builly and boy are there too

whasts with browning and cabins? this wwas used in the unholy 3 aswell!

then again, birth of a nation used it too and that wwas really popular

girl is gay for dick but billy wants to use him to get into fancy homes

so in 1 home they jacvk a safe aand steal sh-t and, wait, its just boy going in the metal chess man and being shipped out

girl wants out of the crime game and later at a packed place, they show the metal chess man in attack mode and show some hears turning to make peopple think its mechanical

boy shifts around and moves the gears to make it look not hollow and gets in the jinzo ningen to play chess but is more interested in girl

btw the jinzo ningen just points to pieces and billy moves em

so boy wiins as i guess hes actually good at chess and they move the metalo off

boy comes out and jacks a safe but fakes beimng into a stone bust of a thing when a guy comes by

dick and girl are together and he wonders if theres another guy but she sez she is gonna wait a while for the answer

boy returns and dick sees him by the inzo ningen and he cant enter the anus with beiing looked at

a butlet dont recpoognize boy as a guest and outs him to the home ownner amd home owener asks whjo he is

1 guy sez he was in ther library and they search him and he does hand moves to billy

they find nothing and have him taken to hheadquarters (i assume the cops) as i guess in soviet new york; you dont need a reason for the gov to getcha

later, billy and girl realize ther jewels are in the chess machine and dick recopgnized the boy so they gotta hide out

girl suggests the cabin and they pack and get da joolz but the cops are there and they head to da door

boy opens da door and tthey split and the cops check the chess andropid

at da cabin girl has sore a55 feet and they check the jewels and divifde em up but there's 13 pieces

a small blicketee black cat comes in and mews a bit ands girl thinks 13 pieces and black cat is a siign

so then i think dick came by and booy gives him the jewel bag but girl takes it and they talk

back door billy takes a rifle and chats with boy about something, then dick goes to another room where billy sez hes gonna stay here, see?

girl looks at da joolz and boy tells dick that dick wont get thre jerweels

girl hides the jewels and breaks a mirror AS the guys come out and she sez she was finding a place to hide em

boy takewws em out and she sez she;'s scatter em around and bill;y sez he's gonna scattewr her over ther cabin if she trysd it again

billy has em puill up da floor boards so they know where it is and boy wants to count em 1st

they do and at night they hjardly sleep as they distrust the each other

dick rattles the dsoor andboy opens it and he tells boy that dishonestlyu leads to unhappiness but boy dont buy it

dick comes out and calls billy the count and girl wants billy to use a bucket but h gives it to dick and she goes with him

boy watches em and sez hes creeped out by dick and thinks hes eithewr a great crook or non human

girl and dick returen and he sez he knowes why she wanted to wait and now wants AN swer

later its night and they werte probably just j-rkin off all day and girl wants to lwave

they wonder if she;s gonna betray em and dick has a rifle now and fires out the window

the trio get their guns and when theylook in; dfick is reading a book

then we see ther poem of the Whitwe Tiger being a crook and then billy beery gets ant poison

boy sez billy not knowing hawkes despite living in his area all his life is off

billy and boy watch ghirl and dick freom rthe window and he pouts the piosoin out and sez shge was at the oven with it

when diock and girl come back he gets her to think bioys into putting poison in da foode

the 2 seem to distrust each other and she smells the poison and the soup 

later itys dinner aND she serves soup as billy and dick are doing firerwood

he dont eat it and she is suspect but he offers her some and she dont either

back door billy and dicky come in and boy gives dick his soup

she stops him from eating it and after some bickering he strangles her but she fights him off with a knife shank in the torso

thats actually clever

to each it looks like the other is the poisoner

this is good writing

dick tends to boys wound and boy sez he knows billy is hawkes and he should have iced him b4 he framed him like he did michael donovan

then admits to being the son and she says she's the sister

they have a moment of reunion anmd she sez she thought he was dead

girl gets a rtifle and aims it at tyhe deviant evil wallace beery

send him to h-ll! you know you wanna! all the cool kids are dooing it

but instead she has dick get a rope and sez if boy mbites it she'df brand him for life

shoot him in the parts!

so dick trreats boy and he's not doing well

the only way to save him is a transplant so she cuts open billy and pulls out the organs boy needs as he screams


really she gets emotional and we see billy hanging from his wrists in the room

she gets a metal thing and theres a lightyening stormed flickering the light and she finds biuilly has gotten outt ahis ropes and has escaped out the window in the woods

girl is gonna send the jewels back and wait, its dick asking her to aS they wqqont but her happiness or peace

evantually his words get to hwer and slay the white tiger in her heart(take that marvel!!)

the next day they get the jewels and find they are gone but i think the cats got em

the cops come in with guns and he sezx there was no robbery but an experiment and he's gonna explain to the cheif and return the jewels to his sister

billy b--chcakes bit it in the woods and dick sez "The cats paws all of us for something we dont know, some purpose we dont understand

the end

that was pretty good

nice twists and good drama

half the film is them in the cabin and the othert half is them putting the puieces on the board

Kinda like From Dusk Til Dawn 1 or Candyman 1

good style of crime and love/hate

nice acting and expression and its got good style

no swearing or b0ning or deviants ort graphic violence

its a clean serious movie

nowADAYS they;'d fuill it with swearing and gore adn sodomy cuz they dont think anything for adults can be clean

tod bworning did well on this one and i'm, glad i saw it

its not as intense, but it has a few good moments that come together well

for White Tiger 2 i want for the giurl and dick to be getting ready to be married but sh has issues with her life of crime and dont know if she's worthy of being normal after it. so she sees a shrink who has her relive her past and see what pinpoint moment caused her to get f'd up and we see her adventures over those 15 years. also its an 8 bit nes, game boy, Sega Master System, Game Gear, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 game where you play as her and gotta do different missions across europe to unlock the final boss who's the billy as a representation of her uissues and beat him to be free from her past.

Sunday, January 23, 2022

The Nevadan Review

 note: I spell like a nervada man

the nevadan

This is my review on The Necvadan from the distant future year of 1950

i never saw it b4 but itsd directal by ghordon douglas who did nothing i saw

it stars randolf scott, dorothy malone from basic instinct, forrest tucker from The Yearling, frank faylen from yankee doodle dandy, George Macready from back to the future meets the thing i mean julius caesar, charles kemper from scarlet street, jeff cortey from fist of the north star, tom powers from julius caesar, Jock Mahoney from the tarzan films iu never saw and Olin Howland from the 30s Treasure Island and a star is born aand boy slaves 

so after logos we get a vault blowing and guys jacking dough  over title and credits

so this guiy is shaackled and caught and brought in on a cart but is given time to stop and take a dump or w/e

btw this is in color and proper full screen so we get the whgole pictuyrte

he is in a rtoom and knocks out a guy,. gets off his chains, breaks out a windowe and drives away on a horse a55

guys go after him and through the hills and this seems a bit like a silent film as theres action and little words and much action

so in the hills and woods he escapes them, then cauches a guyu at gunpoint who sez he's lost and was looking for a way out by following him

escapee sez to follow the riverbed to get to town, then switches clothes with him and makes him go with him

then some people insider talk about stuff being stolen

then escaped guy coimes by rthe bank saying he needs to tyake money out and has his arm in a sling so he cant sign for it

he gets an encolope and he and the hostage go off but are caught at gunpoint by a guy under a bridge who makes them disarm and come off the horse

they get searched and the bridgertons want his envolope but he sez he threw it away and the bridge guys are brotherts who want it

they wealk him toi a tree and the hostage grabs the brothers gun and makes em stop and sends em back to town for 30 miles

escapee takes hostages guns and throws them away and later thewy talk by a campfire and sleep by each other

so later they go on threough the mad max wasteland and gwet to a ranch where he weantys to trade horses and there s achick there manning it

he gets a new horse and its revealed  her dad owns the town or w/e and when ther horses name is sauidf, it spazzes out


me: cats?!

he goes off and she offers him work if he needs it

at toiwn he finds gault owns everything and gets a hotel roome next to another guy he knows

ther room is 600$ and the nmexican running it has a girl who gets bracelets from guys she does stuff for

remember those 90s bracelets that teens wore that used different colors to show what kinbd of b0ning they did?

so at da bar 1 guy is low on dough and asks scott for money but scott sez he never met him

the town guys bring escapee into a room to interrogate and he nearly fights but they say, oh its the guys who he sent wqalking from the bridge

they aSK WHERE THE ENVOLOPE IS AND HE SEZ THE GUY BURNED IT So they grab him but he's offered to join him

he dont conmsent and gets beat up with really fake obviously missing punches

oh its not ecaperee who had the envolope. i wasnt paying attention

soi the bridge bros bicker and the town head talks with a guy about how they are parttnmers

partner is into booze and head is into money anbd he needs this gold thing

opwn head's woman left him but he never got over it and now obnsesses with gold and thers 25% of a million in Gold

Wow this scene was all done in 1 take

so he offers to split the qwearter million in goldd with partner

at night the hostage is the one with the envolpope and escapee goes in his roim

some guys come in and its a brother and the other brother closes the window and hostage caps him

the townsfolk come and it looks like he shot a guy w/o a gun (even though you CAN kill a man unarmed! Look at jail! People are beat dead often!)

they are gonna string him up and townhead offers him a trial

escapee sez to townhead he saw someone outside and gives hi a i dfoir his drink

later its daytime but dimmed to look dARKER AND 1 GUY GOES IN A ROOM AND IS BEAT OUT

LATER ESCAPEE is confronted by head for having hosatages gun and is leaving as he didnt know who he saw outside

laster hes riding with the 1 chick on yhe movie and they go by her old place with croippled horses she uses as a hideout

he leaves her his horse to getta new one and she sez he came as a greenhorn but mastered a tough horse and is now pro

its got that soft warm music that 50-s films did as they have a moent together

he goes off and 2 guys, oh its the brothers and anotrher guy got capped, and they mentionm ow townhead dont want his daughter to know he wacks people

like r fk and cllin tiun and the queen and charles?

also they bicker over a girl they like

they report to head over how theyt saw escapee with daughter but didnt ice him and are gonna bust hostage outta jail

later escapee comes by the dentist saying he lost 2 teeth in a fight and oh itys sherreif and as shgerrif looks in his mouth, he jacks his gun and takes him captive

so escapee gets int jail and tells hostage he was set up by gault the town head who wants his gold and offers him a partnmershgip

hostage agrees and they lock sherrif in the jail, gets their guns and they escae in a cart thing as the badds chade em

they jump out and the cart eveltally falls and the badds see there's no one ion it

at the old house, the chick is walking horses and meets escaee who she knows broke out the hostaghe anbd shemight tell dad

oh its hostage and escapee sez not to hold her captive as the town would knowe if sghes missing

escapee trys to rreason with her but she trusts her dad and hosatage thinks aboutgetting hellp to haul the gold

escapee sez hes gonna give away the gold he earns and she don''t buy it

i'm having trouble telling who's what as i'm ttyping onm my laptop and talking to perople online 

town head aNDHIS GOONS ARE TRYING TO FIND THE GHGOLD  and f u caps locvk! burn in the blackest pits of h-ll

chick comes in and dad sez he knew he saw her horses by the jaiil and when she sez she dont know who she gave em to, he grabs her ansdgoes nuts

she sez he's goon and town head slaps her for the 1st time but asaez sorry so hes good

she sez escapee is a marshall and the goons hear and wanna out escapee as one to make hostager ice him AND THEY'd get hinm easier

also they wanna kkepp tabs on her and later we seeescapee meeting chick who sez not to go or dad will ice hi as she told him his sh-t

he doint care and later the goons report to towh nead that chick snuck off somehow with muels and towh  head is p-ssed his kid turned on him

town head fgoes there for some reason as i guess he dont trust his goons ad at the old holme the goodf guys open fire on him but miss and head tells them escapee is an agent but hostage dont care

so the bads csneak in and see chick with some guns and saying town head went bad from greed and dont cassre about anything bush bucks

he blames the escapee but she sez she knows he'd do anything for money, even ice her, but he dont ice her and goes after the duo

1 good tied chick to the saddle and they go on but she kicks him into water and escapes with a chase scene like a 20s film

after several horse jumps, he busts hi face on an overhanging log and falls and she gets to a place where a guy cuts her free and gets her a new horse

so the main guys stop to tend the horse and the badds are nearing and find their horses and follow thweir trACKS

wait, its not their horses

the good guys talk about keepiong the partnership and wait, it was their horses and they are usinbg muels

head and his goons follow and they are running outta steam but head is focusd on it hard

thsi is seeming like the 20s film Greed by Erich cvon Stroheim with them in the dersert after the gold

the brothers talk about how 1 of their gf's is a 5kank and he wants to use the dough on her

so the duo get to the mine and find da gold he left and escapee comes out about him being an agent

theres tension but they still work together and gunfight the badds ut hold their fire to get the badss to come closes as the badds have rifles and the duop has 6 shootters

the badds cap the duo's muels anmd canterens to p-ss em off but the duo dont fall for it

there';s a wait for 5 hours like in dbz with nappa and both sides are outta water

maybe if you took their water instead of wasting it then you'd not be f'd?

they gunfight and 1 bad guy is capped in the skull which it actually showed a mark pop on his head

the other brother holds him and shot bro sez sorry for calling his woman a wh-re and shot bro bites it

the other brother gets it and chick comes in and has her dad at guinpoint

she sez the gold is more to him than she is and she gets wehy mom ditched him, then as head is b--ching about his ex wife, he gets capped

dont worry, he's gonna be ok, he just needs some rest

escapee trys to convicne hsotage to turn himself in and give up the gold as if he caps escapee he;'s gonna hang

hostager dont care andf thinks the gold will save him but then the mine falls in and escapee shoves him outta the way

they figh as the mine comes apart like goku vs freeza on ther colapsoing namek but escapee wins and drags his a55 out as the mine goes

later in town the duop and sherrif talk and he's ok with whsat happened and dont got da gold

they go off in a cart and chick sez escaspee is gonna return for his horse

the end

that was pretty good

Nice quick clean film

no swearing or nude scenes

Good twists in the story and good style

The 2 homies fighting at the end until something fell and they are better afterward was like Flesh And The Devil with Greta Garbo

Good action and coul be edited into a Silent Film

Glad I saw it. Its got a good feel and effort

For The Nevadan 2 I want the main guy to return aND be on another case where there were u f o's seen and he has to team uip with the girl to fight the space daemons by using bullets blessed by the priest. Also its an 8 bit Run N Gun game like Contra on Sega Master System and Game Gear, Nes and Game Boy, TG16, Atari Lynx and Jaguar

Saturday, January 22, 2022

Game Reviews Volume 19 From 2021 And 2022

My thoughts and experiences on games I beat and tried to beat from the last part of 2021 and the 1st part of 2022.

Just beat Taz-Mania on my 100 Genesis 100 Master System Games Sega Genesis Multicart. Its a Sidescrolling Platformer based on the Fox Kids show. 1 button is jump, 1 is spin and you can use the spin to jump further. Its 5 worlds with 2 acts and a boss in each but if you run outta guys and use a Continuer: You start the whole level over. I game overed 4x and didn't run out so you may have unlimited Continues but only really need em in the last act of the last level as its got a lot of water that kills Taz. You pick up and eat anything like chicken or 1 ups or asplosives and those last ones damage you, but you can also destroy any of them with a spin. The bosses are not tough and just need you to dodge their attack and nail em 5-20x. Its not a hard game and you have a life bar that is refilled by eating chicken and a power bar that refills fast but you need to wait half a sec to refill it. The control is mostly good but can be slippy and hard to manage like thinking you're going too right so you press left then you go that way. Its not bad besides that and the pits and lava end you in 1 touch, so not being able to look up/down is kinda iffy. Its got decent graphics that are better than NES and nice music thats got that classic beep bop boop people think of video games with. I hear there's a genesis version with a bad minecart level but that ain't in here. Extra guys come back after you bite it so you could get 2,suicide, then get em again and grind for em. also you get a free guy every 20 000 points and points only come from having a lot of life and time left after beating a level. Its a decent game and if you want something not too tough besides the last arc of the last level. Glad I did this one. I liked the Fox Kids show in the 90s and while this only has Taz and mentions his dad, is like it a bit.

Just beat Kamen Rider for SNES on my DS R4. Its a 2 player beat em up based on the series that became The Masked Rider in the 90s on Fox Kids.  B is Jump, Y is Attack, X makes you Transform into The Masked Rider and when you take out a bosses life bar; does the finishing move, L and R  can be used to assign auto combos in the SSI System option  before you start the game. Theres 3 Continues and you can have up to 5 guys but theres a Password in Japanese Letters so Learn Japanese Ya Gaijin! If you bite it you pick up where you left off but go back to Human Forme. You can transform into The Masked Rider at any time and if refills your life bar and makes you stronger and gives you new moves  like a speed kick by double tapping left/right on the D Pad and hitting attack. Some parts are tricky and if you wait til you're too low on hits to Transform you could get it as you gotta be standing still to do it. The graphics are well done and it controls pretty well. The music is good and has that Tokusatsu feel with horns. I hear you can't get to the final level unless its on Normal or Hard so avoid Easy Mode. There's mini games that boost your stats like the Bulldozer that you gotta spam buttons to stop before time runs out. I just use 1 finger rubbing on the buttons back and forth until its over. The worse you do getting to the boss. the stronger the boss gets with a longer life bar shown by colors changing at the bottom of the screen. Its a pretty good game and has nice cutscenes drawn from the show. No one talks about The Masked Rider anymore but I have a few faint memories like Dex tossing the salad at a restaurant and being triggered by snails being eaten. Once my fam got a new plunger and before it was used: I pretended to pull it out of my torso like The Masked Rider getting his Sword. Glad I played this.

Just beat Scramble Spirits for Master System on my 200 Sega Genesis and Master System Games Genesis Multicart. Its a Shmup where you play 1 or 2 players to bust like a half dozen or so levels. You get like 5 lives and 1 Continue but the game can be beat in like 20 mins. Its in the start of the 21st Century and a global war lead to peace but aliens came. So its Robotech. You but it in 1 hit and can get Options like in MUSHA that go on your left and right wing areas that fire. 1 button is fire and it blasts in front of you but theres a falling shot that hits ground units like tanks and boats. But you gotta keep tapping it or get a turbo pad. The other button fires your Options out as an attack that nukes the area ahead of you and sometimes they survive and can be recollected. You can't pause so if you got an itch, you gotta tough it out. Its got nice 8 bit graphics and the music is fine. The controls are decent and sometimes you get mini levels where you go in low and take out enemy craft in a zoomed in thing where the Options fly off and return later. You gotta take out as many enemies as you can and there's usually 30 or so that can't end you but their shots just stun you. Its just for points that I think may give an extra guy but it don't show how many guys you got until you gut iced, and only for a bit. The bosses are big and it helps to make it there with Options but if an Option is hit; it bites it. The enemy shots are like Yellow or something and can be seen against the background. Overall its not bad and can be beat after a few tries. Glad I did this one. Oh and the bosses are pretty big and cool.

Just beat Monster World 4 on my 100 Sega Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its the 6th Wonder Boy game and kind of follows the last one as in 1 book in 1 room mentions the last hero of Wonder Boy 5 Monster World 3. You play as a green haired chick dressed like Bulma from Dragon Ball in that Aladdin outfit. C is jump, B is attack and A calls your pet. You can use it to hand onto and jump of of to get more range. You collect these blue things that look like magatama beads in Shaman King on GBA and every 10 you get gives you ban extra heart. You get a row each of red  and blue hearts as a life bar and the bluer hearts are auxiliary power. You get red hearts by buying new armor and can get a better Sword by buying it. If you bite it you go back to the last save but if you have a Potion and the pet you can revive after falling. Its got great graphics and the music is good and it controls really well. You can do blade tricks like holding up or down when you jump and attack and you can heal by finding herbs or hearts from dropped foes. After you clear an area its done and you can't go back so you can miss things like health upgrades or gold and not get em. Once I beat a monster and the Blue thing was in the floor and I couldn't get it. Its best to play this with a guide so you know all the hidden areas. There's good puzzles nd its usually not to complex and has some good story and twists. Its probably the best Wonder Boy game I played. It holds up and had heart. It made getting this 45$ Multicart worth it. Glad I did this one. Oh and it was remade on the Switch and other things but I never tried those.

Just beat ToeJam & Earl  on my 200 Sega Genesis and Master System games Genesis Repro Cart. Its a top down game where you play as these 2 90s style Homeboys From Outer Space who gotta rebuild their Space Craft and Escape From Planet Earth. You can change  the controls but 1 button is Map, 1 is Open Items Screen and 1 is Action which activates the item or holding it lets you sneak around to not wake up Earth guys. There's a randomizer option and a Fixed version that changes if the levels and Ship Parts are in the same or random locations and in Fixed you gotta do 25 levels. You get a few lives and no Continues and get more with more points. Points are gotten by uncovering the Map by walking around to the unknown squares. In some levels is the Ship Part and get all 10 to beat the game. Also is an elevator that sends you to a higher plane and you can fall off and have to climb back up by using an item or finding the elevator. You get Items from Presents found on the ground or bought and after you open 1, all of that type is listed on the menu, although there's a randomizer that mixes em up again. Some are bad like School Book or Raincloud but others like Rocket Skates or Doorway or Icarus Wings can get you out of a Jam. Some enemies are rough like the Boogie Man or the Lawnmower Man or the killer bees as they can shove you off the edge that normally you just spazz out on if you get too close. Some areas only appear when you get close to em and some ground thats close to each other can be walked by. The Boom Box stuns enemies and Doorway teleports you to a random area. Food recovers Life and you get extra guys buy point I think. Get enough points and you Rank Up and get a Title like Homey or Poindexter and the higher rank: The more life bar you get. The Telephone shows random squares and at times  is seen in the field. There's vending machines to buy presents from but sometimes they attack you. Its a good game and pretty clean and 90s. Glad I played it.

Just beat King Colossus on my 100 Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its a top down Action RPG like Zelda or Illusion of Gaea where you gotta save the world from this wicked god. Which is kind of a twist as usually you side with some pagan god to do some adventure. A is Magic like Time Stop or Invincibility or a Magic Attack which uses Magic Points. B is attack and C is jump. You get Exp and Level Up which boosts your stats but you can also get items like rings and pendants and bands that boost stats and change your weapons and armor for better stats. You get a good variety of weapons like a flail or a crossbow or spear and each do different things. Its got a good story that had some plot twists I didn't see coming and has a bit of platforming that isn't too bad. You can save at almost any time and continue where you last saved when you bite it. There's some minor puzzles but its usually getting the right item somewhere or going the right way. If some guys are too tough you can just wander around and level up fighting the resummoning guys. Enemies drop Hearts that refill life, Invincibility things, Red Orbs that fully heal you, Blast Spheres that blow open rock walls like Zelda, and Keys to Open Doors. Its a pretty good game and you have some freedom of where to go on the map, but often you gotta do the current quest. There's no money or Overworld so you just choose where on the map to go and go there like Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. Its a pretty good game and has nice Graphics and Music. This was from 1992?! Its not bad for that era. Its a bit gritty in color and style but holds up well. Glad I played this.

Just beat Fighters Destiny on N64. Its a Sorta 2D but 3D Fighting Game where you play as 1 of like 9 people and fight your way through the rest, including a Mirror Match, then get to this boss who looks like the bad guy from Urotsukidoji II. A and B are Punch and Kick while using the D Pad lets you do different attacks, and if you do 1 attack, then a certain other one, like a Low Kick attack and Low Punch Attack, it changes it up. I used the German girl as Eric Carle is from there kinda. L and R and Z do things like block and you can do Throws and Grabs. Instead of just beating out a Life Bar, you gotta do things to earn points like Counters, Throws or Ring Outs, and 1st to the Chosen point total wins the fight. If time is over you go to Judgement and get scored based on who did more damage. You can change the Controls and how many points each thing does, how much time you get, and the difficulty in the options and can unlock other characters by doing thing in the Gameplay. You get infinite Continues and its got good 64 Bit 90s Graphics and a cool Arcade Announcer Voice saying 90s things. Its not too hard and is a nice game you can beat in 1 sitting. Good classic 90s style and its nice to use a D Pad on N64. Glad I played this.

Just beat RoboCop Vs The Terminator for Master System on my 200 Sega Genesis and Master System Games Genesis Multicart. Its a pretty good 8 Bit Run N Gun that you can't pause where you start with 7 guys and no Continues. I played it on Easy and it was still close. Its got good graphics and the music is good, but its got pretty impressive Voices for 8 Bit. 1 button is Jump and 1 is fire and you aim with the D Pad.. Holding Up as you press Jump lets you do a Higher Jump and you can't Jump Down by Holding Down and Jump.  There's a few extra guys around and a fair number of Life Healers, plus in some levels are tired up guys who Heal you when you touch em. There's also Temp Invincibility and a variety of Weapons to use that you lose when you bite it and can only carry 1 at a time. Iced Foes don't come back and if you bite it you resummon where you fell. You have autofire by holding the button but do more with tapping fast (Or use a Turbo Pad). A few levels have floors you can fall in the gaps of and I think it wacks you and sends you to the start with all felled foes staying gone and some floor things end you in 1 hit. Some levels have doors where you press Up to go in but its not always easy to know where it is. Its pretty good and by Virgin Games who did great 90s things. There's a Score that does nothing and some turrets or rocks on the ceiling spray bullets when blown. Glad I played it. It holds up.

Just beat the Master System version of RoboCop 3 on my 200 Genesis and Master System Games Multicart on Genesis. Its a pretty good Run N Gun game with 2 Shmup levels that can be beat in like 20 mins if you know what to do. 1 button is jump, 1 is shoot and pressing down and jump makes you cycle through your weapons. You get up to 2 Continues with up to 5 guys each and no way of getting any more, but there's Life Refilling Power Ups around. You have limited Ammo and its refilled when you bite it. You can collect new guns and in the Shmup levels you gotta collect Power Ups to increase your Pea Shooter. In the 2nd Shmup level 1 button fires ahead and the other drops shots ahead of you like TwinBee where you have tanks firing on you. If you bite it in a level: you go to an invisible Check Point with all Collected weapons refilled but using a Continue sends you back to the start with the basic Pea Shooter. Getting Iced in a Shmup Level has you continue where you fell but using a Continue restarts the Level. The bosses are often just moving around and blasting them at the fight time and the Ninja Robots you gotta move away, then towards and when they jump and swing the Katana: You turn and cap em in the head. Enemies can drain you as there's no invincibility when you get hit, but shots vanish after nailing you. Quite good Graphics and the Music is really well done. It controls fine. Its by Flying Edge who is LJN and is based on a Movie Sequel, but its actually not bad. Worth a playthrough if you want something quick to beat. Oh and holding attack lets you Autofire but its actually good and is as fast as hammering the button. Glad I did this one.

Just beat Trouble Shooter on my 100 Sega Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its a Shmup and 1st in the Battle Mania Series where you play as these 2 Anime Chicks and fly around in Rocket Packs with blasters and go through 6 Autoscrolling Levels. 1 button is fire, 1 flips which side the other girl fires in, and 1 uses a super weapon that needs to recharge for a bit after use but can be used whenever you want. Only the blonde counts for getting hit by stuff and instead of Lives, you get a health bar and 2 Continues. Biting it has you restart the area and costs all Power Ups but you can find more as the level goes on. Good graphics and music and its got an good sense of wit and charm in the story and writing. Before the 1st 4 levels: You can choose 1 super weapon from 4 and they have different effects. I played it on Easy and it wasn't so bad but took a bit of getting used to. It controls pretty well and there's Hearts around the levels that heal you and can increase your life as its just done with numbers instead of a bar. I'm not big on Shmups much but this one was pretty good. The whole thing can be beat in under an hour if you know what to do and has a good vibe to it. Glad I played this one. Its Anime style and has a sequel that improves on it.

Just beat Masters of Combat for Master System on my 200 Genesis and Master System Games Genesis Multi Cart. Its a Fighting game where you play as either a Ninja, A Mega Man Reject, A Wanna Be Iron Man and a Fat Hairless Mexican and after beating all 4, plus a Street Fighter Beat Up A Car Level: Fight an Alien. 1 button is Jump and 1 is Attack and Spazzing on the D Pad does moves I don't know how to do, even with looking up a guide. I used the Ninja and he does little damage while the enemies do much more. The foes are fought in Random Order but get tougher as you go on and you only get up to 3 Continues and can't get more. There's no options to change the Controls, Time or Number of Rounds and while you can play it on Easy: Can't face the Final Boss on it. But if you get a High Score and put in KEY as your name: Other Options are opened and you can play on Extra Hard, Faster, or 1 hit mode where the foe has 1 hit left from the start. After beating all 4 guys in Easy and trying on Normal: I used the 1 hit mode and went Kenshiro on em, Then for the game boss: I didn't attack and survived the 99 Seconds after a few tries and won as a way of being fair. The game has really good graphics with bright well done colors that could be an 80s/90s Genesis Game and has nice music. It controls kinda iffy as the Jump Button and Left/Right makes you Rush that way. The only Move I knew how to do was the Forward and Jump then Attack fort a Rush Punch. If you could play it in Easy or had more Continues it would be more fair, but as is: Its not. Often I get looped and the foe burns through me and by the time I'm allowed to move: I'm stunned and he gets Another free hit. It looks good but the Gameplay could use some Tuning. Glad I played it but its either too hard or too easy and has no balance.

Just beat Zoids Densetsu on my 108 Game Boy Games in 1v Multicart. Its kind of a Shmup  based on the Toy Line 90s Kids called Technozoids. You get 5 Continues with 3 b lives each and no way to get more. Each Continue has you play through the same order of 3 Zoids where the 1st bites it in 2 hits, the 2nd gets it in 4 and the 3rd has a full life bar of 6 hits but you can collect L power ups to get an extra hit and W power ups to increase your number of cannons. If you touch anything, you take 1 point of damage and your powered up weapons go down by 1 cannon. The controls are kinda loose and wiggly and it takes getting used to if you wanna avoid slamming into walls and burning through your few life points. You get to play as either the Empire or the Republic but that just changes the graphics and sprites and has no real impact on the game.  Each time you start a level you gotta sit through 8 seconds of a Stats Screen that hays how tall or long or heavy your zoid is and can't skip it. If you bite it: You go back to the start of the level, even if on a boss. There are 4 Bosses and you fight em on every Even Numbered Level and its just the 3 Zoids on the Team you didn't choose, but they are always at full Weapon and  move in a Preplanned way. The last boss is a colossal Zoid with a bunch of cannons and can only be beat by blowing em all. But 1st you gotta go through this ordeal of a level with only aa few Life ups and 1 Weapon Boost so unless you can do it without taking a hit: You won't keep it. B is fire but there's no Autofire so you gotta keep tapping that button. A is a Special Weapon that differs between the 3 Zoids: A 1 shot homing missile,. A Napalm that goes in an arc and poofs ahead and is useless, and  a Screen Nuke thats actually good. But you gotta Collect SW power ups and if you bite it: Its all gone, But you can carry em from Level to Level if you survive. You cant use em on Bosses but they can help a few times. The graphics are basic but not bad and the music is kinda nice. Its pretty hard and cheap but can be beat in under an hour if you can make it to the end. Plus the 1st Zoid is pretty useless as it bites it in 2 shots so you'll just screw up and restart the level in a few seconds. You can't pause on Bosses but can on the Game Boss. The Bosses  follow a simple pattern so its not tough to beat em but the game boss is rough with his maelstrom of shots. After a while its Horn Cannon stop firing for a bit and can be taken out so its best to focus on the Jaw then Foot, Then torso ones before moving to the higher ones. I'm glad I beat it but probably will never play it again.

Just played Mario Kart 64. Its not as good as I recalled. Its a 3D Racing Game where you play as up to 4 of 8 Nintendo guys and go through tracks based on Mario things. B is brake, A is accelerate, Z uses an Item, R is a small hop and the A Stick Steers. I was trying to beat it but you can't get the credits on the 50 CC and on 100 CC you gotta get 4th or higher to advance. You can get a Start Boost by pressing and holding A as the 3rd Light on Ready Set Go comes on. I used Peach and she's kind of a lousy driver. Often I bump into things and can't turn from them in time. If you hit a Banana Peel you spazz a bit before spinning out a second or so later. Some levels have you going up a slope and if you fall off: You go to a part you just were and are now in last place with no way to win. Also you can't just restart the race as you can either Continue or Quit. So you either slog through an unwinnable race for another chance, or restart the whole thing. It saves your Trophies and each Cup is 4 races where the top 4 get points. The better you do: The more points you get. Whoever gets the most points at the end of the 4 races gets 1st place. Win all 4 Cups on the right CC and you beat the game. I beat it on 50 CC but its not enough and I'm not sure if 100 is enough or I have to do 150. Also my TV has bad Brightness so even on full stats: I can't see where the road is on the Boo Level and keep falling off. If you fall off, a Lakitu puts you back but often in last place But if I were to try it on 100CC or more, I couldn't try to beat that Cup by coming in high in 3 races and last in that one. The graphics are N64 Good and the Music and Voices are nice. Also there's nice touches like the sound of the kart on the Wood Bridge in the Ice Level is different than the Ice. You gotta follow the path and there's a few hidden or branching paths, but its usually a straight way. I think I preferred Sonic R more. Its not bad but kinda annoying. I sorta regret buying this.

Just beat Power Rangers: Super Legends on DS. Its the 15 year anniversary game and has you playing as different Rangers in different series fighting  various guys and fight over both screens like Contra 4 but the area between en is unseen. A is laser shot that stuns  guys but takes out flying guys, B is jump, Y is punch/kick and X is sword. L you hold and put in the on screen buttons to power up but I never used it and R + X is a screen clear that uses Purple Gems you can have up to 3 of. There's also Shmup levels that are simple and you use A to blast and Y to nuke and you fall in 1 hit and lose your power ups but can have a Shield. You can hold A to autofire. Then there's the Boss Levels where you use the Megazord and its from a 1st person (And never see which Zord you are using) view where you  use the Touch Screen to fire lasers at the foe but can't overdo it or it needs to cool off, Then when the boss is hit in the right places enough: it faces you up close where you slice the screen to Sword and draw a Circle to shield. If you bite it on a boss you just redo the fight but if you run outta guys (You always start with 4 in each mission) you restart the mission. Beating it without getting iced gives you a gold medal and each guy you use lowers the rank. Its kinda simple and the game explains in text scenes what the new powers you unlock do and how to do new abilities. If you hit enough of the enemies in a row you get a combo thing that gives you Purple Gems around 20 and beating a guy. The Zedd Putty's gave me issue as it never told me how to beat em and I had to figure out you have to tap them when they fall and the target goes on em.. The bosses have a pattern and you can beat some in loops with jumping and doing down and X to make a shock field and jumping away when they attack. Lothor teleports in the same pattern each time so its not hard to learn. Beating guys drops thing you collect to get more moves and stronger attacks. Its not bad and has nice graphics and fine music. Its not great but  Ranger Fans will enjoy it probably. I beat it in around 8 hours. Glad I did this one. Oh and you can wall jump and grind like in Mega Man X and can loop enemies by holding down and pressing Y over and over to Break Dance beat them.

Friday, January 21, 2022

The Thing Below Review

 note i spell like aa cr-ppy dreamcast game

The Thing Below

This is my review on The Thing Belkow fropm 2004 (The year some Robotech Comics happened)

Its dfiredcted by Jim Wynorski whos a polish purvurt but makes good movies like Munchie, Ghoulies 4, Deathstalker II, Dinocroc Vs Supergator and a bunch of p0rn0, Oh andf Chopping Mall

It stars Billy Warlock friom Halloween 2 and Baywatch, Warren Christie from 1 ep of Flashpoint, Catherine Lough Haggquist from Alone in the Dark, Glori-Anne Gilbert from Sub Zero and a buncha guys IO never heard of

Its infamous for its really bad CG that looks like a bad 90s Arcade game

I've seen it before and its not awful but is so bad its good

So after footaGE OF an aircragt carrier and people walking arouindf to creitds that looiks like a bad 90s show, something blows and we get a flasdhback to 16 hours b4 wherte some gov guys talk about some ship that went missing

btw this is widescreen so its black bars

so off florida this research ship is in a storm and these nerds scientists are in it and looks like rudy gulianni and thery have this thing they got from the depths in a glass thing

the general in the base dont wanna tell the guy doing compurter sh-t for him what the cargo on the ship is and the captain on the ship wants to change course but is toold hes not allowed by a gov guy

btw by florida all kinds of weird cr-p happens, and its on the opposite side ofnthe planet as the devils sea of japan

so the storm rocks the boat and the nerds carrying the glass tube that looks like that thing that blows in Sonic Advenguire 2 battle drop it and it breaks

this Sega Saturn CG things grows and extends a tentalce out and goes into a guys gut, then out his mouth than strangles anopther guy as the scientyists watch,m then run

its so unreal its funny

1 nerd is punched into an electric thing and bites it and the 2 survuiving nerds  hide in a room and sprting the alarm and radio the captain

they see a nerd on the outside of the door weanting to come in and not gulianni opens it for him, only to see he's full of tentacles that get him

remaining chick nerd springs the alarm and the ship blows in a fireball xl5 and i guess it was the self destruct thing

the general wonders whats going on and wonders why the ship vanished and calls da prez whos in the bath and is told by him to find the creature

later on an oil rig a guy sez the wind makes it too hard to drill and the pipes might burst if they go on which will put em back a year top fixc it

they talk about a guy coming in the storm and then this boat comes through and thisd sandwich eater guy talks abotu how they gotta keep this schedual for a guuy who pukes

oh and the oil guys talked about using a laser drill like its mega man

on the oil rig they hear a signal of a mayday but theres no responce from calling it and nothing on radar

oh the oil rig guys found the cgi thing in the drilling in da urth and its radio active

did this rip off The Thing on the Fourble Board??

its only been above ground 72 hours and they know nothing about it

i gotta be honest; i'm having toruble keeping track of who all these dinks are and dont care much about em

so then this black guy goes around the boad and sez they storm is f ing the boat but the puke guy sez they need the supplies on da oil rig my sun up and sandwich guy pulds an oar on him

some crew, incliding a woman, play cards and the chick wins as women alweays do in movies as men cant be the winnders to the superior females or it makes ghirls spazz out

1 guy has a lot of photoes of this busty blonde p0rn0 star that he probably j-rkls off to a lot and mans a machine

in da storm the black guy falls off but they pull him off the side of tyhe boat with a rope and the sea looks like a n64 game

sandwich guy goes out with a gun and caps the rope on the boat holding it to something and another guy, oh the cowboy, caps it and the supply ship goes off so tyhe ship isnt taken out

like the eurtopean union selliong grece so it dont drtag the rest of the economies under

so then we see guys in space suit like things going around this place and something attaks

at da gov theres no contact with the lines to the places they sent guys and i think that was the oil rig the space suit looking guys got iced in

the next day the boat with the crew heads on and sandwich guy reminizes about his WW2 Vet Navy Dad i mean viet nam nacu dad and hes got his life coming together  but copmpares his life to his dads from another decade

so they can't radio anyone as thgeres no signal and blonde guy and chick talk about the p0rn0 chick who won some XXX Star Awards

At the gov base a congressman of some lardo's a55 got wind of it and wants an inquirey and a gov guy sez ther're giving out medals to the guys who bit it to say it was an acciodent

like marliun was "accidentally" iced by r fk?

on the boat nearing the oil rig 1 guy shows the one black guy a photo of this baby i think he's related to and chick is uninterested as her fam got iced in a train wreck 3 years ago

so at the oil rig called the sea ghost, as this movie has several titles like It Waits Below, Sea Ghost in Canada, and Ghost Rig 2: The Legend of the Sea Ghost nin soviet england

so they get there and black guy senses something and the whole thing looks like its greenscreened in and they go over a history of it

it ended in 95 and the gov boguht it and used its drills for classified sh-t

this black chick is guiding em and they pull guns in case something comes outta the elevator but its empty

they go to the lower decks and its said the doors and hatches were sealed by a system and they come out to a slight mess

black guyide sez they collect samples from the earths core and thery found something in it

what about the hollow earth theory? maybne they found some daemon from it?

so p0rn0 guy i think, but it might alsdo be baby picture guy checks the= wires to get the elevator working again and the rest go off and leave him to bitye it

in the lab its f'd up and she sez the thing they found got out and 1 guy sez to ice it to protect themselves

guiude sez they drilled 15 nmiles which is 2x as deep as anyone ever went (in my butt) b4 but they wanted a new source of energy from the earths core

i'm poretty sure the earths core is more than 15 miles in

also this is ripping off devilman the 2004 movie

so they drilled 14.5 miles and dfound an empty chamber and it was radio active and they founbd living sh-t in there and took 2 samples

so tech guy gets the elevator working and notices something and then the p0rn0 star he likjes is there in a cheetah print dress

she sez she's making a movie and he wants her toi sign his photo of her

she goes in a room and when hes therte a second later, shes in a new dress and there's torches and she's doing a sequel to his fave xxx fi,m

then she does a sexy dance with fire in the background and talkes off her robe to show her b00bs

then she goes to him, opens her mouth, and a cr-ppy cgi tentacle comes out and wraps arouind his head and seems to icehim

so back in the lab the puke guy sez the thing might still be alive and sandwich guy sez to split up and look around in pairs to look for the missing guys

guide sez the code is Jules Verne and p0rn0 guy isn't answeing, but then he does and sez the elevator is ckomming along

cowboy and black guy are 1 group and they talk about compasring saloons to ghettoes

chick and i think family man are another team and cowboy and black guy fiind a messy place with a pepsi machine and cowboy hears something and bnickers with bnlack guy

chick and guy team talk about having dinner and maybe b0ning and she hears train sounds and spazzes out a bit

thisd is seeming to rip off The thing, espm the booke forme where it reads minds

guide sez she started here not long ago after the last team was replaced by a better crew and shes skilled in geology

gov guy i think is puke guy calls on his small cellphone and asks for info but hears something from the phone and talks about his future plans to retire and go to fiji

well, thats the end of him!

the govv guys on the other end hear the thing got out and tell him to get the data back there

main gov guy i mean general wantys to end the mission and gives em til 1700 hours b4 he sends a team to attack so he';s not sent to alaska to fight on the grand cannon in the 12st robotech war in 2010

the sea eye eh found out about this and general tells em to wait

sandwich guy opens a drawer and finds files and puke guy comes back so he says he read in the files that they found something in a meteor and its topsy cret

guide sez they found life inside it and wait, they said mineral, not meteir, i'm watcving a spoeed asl;tered video of it on youtube edited to fill a part of the screen with a background around it

sandwich guy bashges him for sacrificing lives to try to get it and he rteplies there was protocall

then a tv comes on and a nerd on it sez its dangerous and even though he's locked himserlf away, he sees and hears a voice

then chick calls and sez they found something and they go to her and find a guy on a medicxxan table and guide scans him with her blackberry AND SAYS her's staBLE

sandwich guy sez to bring back the team to the med lab and black guy leaves cowboy to return

cowboy hears a horse and finds a wild west town in a door and goes through it after calling black guy who dont come

in it he sees another cowboy wantint to getta reward from catching him and they duel with pistols and main cowboy beats other cowboy but other cowboy opens his mouth and a PS1 Tentacle comes out and necks main cowboy

black guy asks p0rn0 guy to return to da med lab and p0rn0 guy tells him to  check the elevator and goes in it

it oipens and a Sega CD cgi tentacle thing comes out and black guy caps it but it gets him

the alpha team waits for the other members who 1 of em sez they got a blockage and gotta go around

but guide sez sometrhing they saids seems outta place cuz he sed mr or something and shge cxhecks the nerd tapes

nerd tape sez he dont know whats real now and guide sez the thig can read minds anbd make you hallucinate

sanddwich guy sez to the guy on a come that "guys from georgia can'tr fiond their way w/o a hoprsde" and voice agrees then he tells voice to stay put

its revealed the guy he's talking about is from soviet new jersey and hates horses and voice knows it

then he calls on the copm for the others andf voice sez "they with me" and main guy sez it can't read minds from a distance

the table guy is awake and spazzing out and the gov is sending in veritechs to nuke the base

table guy dont klnow what happened to his crew but sez how he was in a germ free area and the thing they found feeds on flesh and blood

maybe its a daemon

pray it away!

in flesh backe a guy took a blood sample aND dropped it and spazzed out

when he went in he saw this chick who was dead or something and she tried to open the thing so he capped her and ran to the med lab

the thing tried illusions to make him open trhe door by saying its his superior, then his woman wanting to b0ne, then his fam wanting to go fishing

Its a good thing on having determination and menmtal fortitude and resistance to temptatoin

so tabler guy (didn't this happen in Virus with Donald SutherlAND AND ther Resident Eviol Chick? Find 1 survivor in a mutation thing sea place) sez he saw a guy going stairs

guide is gonna go bt sandwich guy stops her as shes emotiona and trhey dont know whats real

So they go out with guns andare gonna look for the professor and get out

then sandwich guy taslks with table guy and i guess tyhey are brothers as they talk about his dad and how sandwich guiy was in secret things on missions when the dad got it

then we see his mission of shredding people with gunfire like its contra in a base level

table guy dont buy it and they get in the elebator and chick sees her memory of her fam getting iced in the train thing

even though its clearly an illusuion; she ruins to her kid to help him and finds her fam

we get a sugary moment and she resists it as she knows its not real and didnt justice league unlimited do thisaa with Superman in that hantasy Dream with his son he'd never forget?

So she runs from them tio the guy ashew was with saying she goit away and he opens his mouth and a tentacle comes out and gets her

ther general talks with some guyabout the thing and sez not to let anyone get near it

in the rig the gang finds a blood stain and why were the other 2 away from them?!

thery see the dr and think its might be the thing and guoide is his woman

puke guy shoots the dr and dr gives them the data disk to kill the thing

he was the real dr and spazzes out and bites it and puke guy whos a gpv guy beats down sandfwish guy and aims his gun as table brother aims at him

puke guy tells table bro to drop it or he's gonna ice brother and brother lowers hus weapon

sandwich guy sezx puke guy knew the whole time what was going on and he denies it and wants the disk so he can use it to get out of gov issues and leave em to bite it

as he reachers for the disk, sandwish guy kicks his un away and fights him and they are in a cave now like bad outer limits and sandswich guy wins

an army commander sez gopod work and that this purple AND LIME green cAVE was the things home for 2.2 millionm years like f--king devilman

his ship crashed here and he was sealed awy for yuears and now can get out and sansdweich guy sezx the thing iced his homies

the thing sez he was here beofre their kind evolved and he's the REAL earthling

then bro jumps in this warp hole in the caves a55 and brings out main guy and the guy with the general comes by and puke guy greets him

even though its obviousdly an illusion asdd theres no way he'd be here, he hugs him and the guy opens his mouth and a thin tentalce comes out and wraps his head

in the real world they see a huge a55 tentacle grabbing puke guy upsidedown and jerking him away like its f--king beetle borgs on fox kids in the 90s!

the 3 survivors runas playstation 1 tentacles come after em and they escape in the elevator

the brothers are cool now and guide is gonna self detonate the base as bases have self nuking options built in somehow

but the system is deactivated and they got asplosives near by convienently and they throw em in the elevator with a 30 sewcond timer

it blows with cr-ppy effects and they jump into the sea and the gov guys in thebase say something s scrwewing up ther radar and general sez he's not taking the fall for this as the other guy sez the see ai eh shou;ld take over as general f'd up

then the troops take off in a chopper and the survivpors are on this tugboat and they have the data disk in case the thing comes off the rig

then the guide morphs into the gov guy and hes the thing the whole time

da f--k sense does that make?!

is it truyiong to rip off michael jacksons thriller with the end its there?!

then we see the cast names with clips from the film we just saw like Space Balls

the end

that was a ride

the cr-ppy cgi was the best these guiys could do and it would be good in a 1994 game, but this was made in 2004

still, i kinda liked it

had kind of a 32 bit charm

the acting was fine and the the adventure was kinda standard, but i liked it

its one of those cheesy budgedt tb canadian films that is entertaining

sorta like canadian cg dolemite

but dolemite was more fun

still i had a decent time and it had some good ideas of temptation and resistance

its actually by Corus which did YTV stuff in the 90s

how they devolved

but beisdes post 00s ytv, this wasn't so bad

For The Thing Below 2 I want it to be on the boat and one of the guys facing the monster shape shifter to swear by his creator to beat him and mentioning The Lord causes tyhe monster to cringe, Realizing that its a daemon and can't stand holy things, he behgings saying bible quotes to stun it as the othert brother looks up the disk on his 90s computer on the boat. Its also an 8 bit point and click game on Nes, Gameboy, Sega Master System, Game Gear, TG16 Arari Lynx and 7800 where you play as either the speaking brother who has to choose the right option out of 3 to fit the Bible Quote, Or the other brother who has to solve math puzzles and trivia things to unlock the info on how to beat it. And in the end its revealed its a special prayer that seals it.

Thursday, January 13, 2022

Devilman Review

 Note: I spell daemonic


This is mny review on Devilman from the distant future year of 2004 (The year some Robotech Comics happened in)

Its based on a Manga by my fave author Go Nagai who did a lot of sexy violent awesomer insane sh-t

To quote Tom Green: Its like p0rn with murder!

Unlike some of his 18+ works like Violence Jack, Devilman Lady and Loevly Angel: Devilman was a Shonen series which means its for the samne age group as Naruto, DBZ, Bleach, Saint Seiya, Hokuto No Ken and Eiken

But then Netflix got it and made Crybaby which is a gay xxx (Like evertything else on there)

Its dirtected by Hiroyuki Nasu who did nothing I sAW and got f'd at the box office and in reviews as its said to be f--kin baD

It stars a bunch of Live Action Japanese dudes and is dubbed by the Digimon, Robotech/Eiken cast

So after some credits we see Ryo and Akira as kids (Da f--k?! They call him rai oh?! He's not that Yugioh Card!) where they look through a kids book of cry[ptids like wolfman and centaur and Ryo sez hre's one of em and wants akira to be one too

then they put on monsater masks and look through the book, wjich zooms inbto this demons eyer and we go through h e double england and get a title

years later, AKIRA and ryo are in teens in track and akira falls so ryo goes back for him but akira has him go on as ryo is better than him at everythiong and aklira likes him for it

also; like many japanese, Ryo has blonde hair, like Sauilor Venus, Rangiku Matsumoto and Naruto Uzomaki (Oh and Nami Koishikawa if you are over 18)

So Akiras gf Miki comes by and Akira is gay for her and Ryo don't like it aand Miki don't like Ryo as hes a jerk wjo don'rt smile

Often when someone does sometgiung i dont like, i domnt like em, and it turns out they are evil

I hated weinstein for changing movies w/o directors consent, joss whedon for being a c-ck sucker, kaiser neko for censoring comments he disagrees with, fauchi just runs me the wrong way and i sense he's evil

i got this sense that knows if someone is evil

oh and back door trudeau is just a candya55 but i didn't get the same sense

So Akira livers with Miki's fam as his renrts were iuced in a car accident (Like f--kin harry potter?! in the books it was daemons!!)

Akira forgot its his b day and they have a surprize party

also miki's hair is wrong

So then Akira is beat up by high school toughs like in f--king every anime, as Ryo beat em in a race

da f, they call him uh soo kuh!? Its Asuka! Pronounced oss kuh! tHEN AGAIN, theese guys pronounced the silent U in Densuke in Eiken!

Completly out of character; akinra atacks em to defend ryo and gets his a55 kicked, even though in the REAL version (The Manga) Akira was a timid candya55 like Shinji frolm evangelion

a teen sez ryo (Which should be pronounced like Neo or Geo, not bio) chopped off 2 of his fingers with hedge clippers for beating up Akira, and Akira saved his fingers\

Turns out: Akira is tryiung to save them fro Ryo, like how a serweration of church and state protects the church FROM the state

So Akira works out and pumpsd iropn but miki comes by and sees his wounds and he runs

Miki sees some teen girls bullying anotyher teen by throwing balls at her, so Miki nails 1 with a ball and saves her

btw, how come ryo wasnt arrested for mutilating a teen?!

is it cuz hes a "young offender" and gets all this legal protection to mutilate people cuz hes young?

So ryo com,es back to class after a week off and asks who beat up akira as he wants to mutilate them but akira sez its nothing

ryo is ok with that as his dad bit it and he and akira go in ryo's ferarri mustang and gives akira a vs thing to see his dads recording

dad found an underground antartic lake from 500 million year old energy thjing that can do fusion at room temp and is 8 million x as good as oil

But its actually a daemon life forme that posesses people so they shut down thing thing but it was too late as the workers fused with the daemons and were posessed, And so was Ryo's dad!

So Ryo takes Akira to his mansion and opens a door and its this big organic room like Splatterhouse 3 or Contra and its Ryo's dad  in it

Ryo sez hes been posessed and gets a knife and wanbts Akira to end him 

They badly fight over the knife and Akira throws Ryo despite Ryo not only already stronger than akira, but has daemon power now!

Then out of the contra level comes this spurm like thing that ghoes into akira and he devolves into devilman but is cr-ppy ps2 cgi

A daemon comes out and thinks hes still the demon who posessed him and akira fights him and easily slays him

then he devolves into a humanoid mode with cr-ppy make up and ryo is angelic with a bunch of wings and light and akira realizes he;s devolved and just killed thhat thinbg

ryo sez he kept hius human heart but has a demopn body so he's a delvilman whos demon outsiode and human inside

then akira wakes up in his room and is hugh mann but has some aids sores on his chest, but its just cr-p on the mirror

miki gets him a b day motor bike like in the 70s anime and some creeper with a campera watches akira and ther miki fam

akira reides with miki but they wear helmets and at school; akira almost askes her if she'd like him if he wasn't human

so then the teen punks are hassling ryo to get him beofre he chops em up but ryo walks off and they attack akira

Akira easily beats em with power rangers moves and slo mo sh-t and the teens dont notice anything wrong with this as i sgess in japan everyone has super powers

good f--k we';re onyl 20 mins in?!

So later Akira gores to ther beach and sees this guy sketching as he started drawing in therapy to get his motopr function back after ryo cut his fingers and hes got nightmares and ptsd from Ryo admitting to being evil when he chopped him up

fingers warns Goku I meanbn Akira that Ryo is dangerous and as Akira looks through the f'd up sketch book; sees something that reminds him of Ryo but looks kinda like Zasmasu from the Gay Dragon ball

Fingers admits he just picked on Akira to look tough and Akira helped him so he sez sorry and thanks

So a creeper tapes Miki taking a shower but as its not the Showa Era: Japan can't haver nude scenes so shes in a towel

Shiranui comes by and contacts Akira by his daemon name and akira meets her on the roof

she'ss in a modest sone spiece like thing instead of her white thong and nothing else like in the manga and sshe invites him to go where he was born and she takes his hand but miki shows up and sees em gone

btw this whole "Gf from past life comes back and giives him info on his daemonism to join her" was done in Demon Lord Dante

In Ryos palace Akra goes to semi daemon mode and shiranui bugs him about not remembering and calls him by his daemon name

Nowadays some tumbler malconttents would whine about her "dead naming" him and "not respecting his new identity"

but at least they aren't b0ning like in crybaby!

So they baCK AND FORTH ABOUT dEMONS AND HUMANS and she attacks him and they fight with shakey cam and cgi bursts of ki where blows connect

Shiranu digivolves into a bikini outfit  anfd Akira goes full CG and they have a big CG fight in the air and around the city that looks like bad PS2

after Akira is slices in the back, he falls and they wind up right back in Ryo's house and Akira goes back to Semi Devolved and Shirenu goes back to the 30s swimsuit and mocks him for fusing with a candya55 like Akira

she grabs his face and Ryp comes in and sez See Ren and Akira wakes up in a misty place where Ryo sez Akiras demon powers regenerate him

Btw in the Manga: Akira got his arm sawed off, his body slices and a horn skerwering him, but here its just 1 back slash and he's f'd

So akira tells Ryo his demon name and ryo sez he was Cee Lin's butt buddy and she wanted him back and ryo sez he found akira by being a demon (i mean if he has esp or ki sense, year but just "deing a demon" don't exzplain anything)

they walk for a bit and akira is bummed that hes a daemon now but Ryo sez Daemons don't cry (which I think is wrong but I don't recall every Go Nagai Manga with Daemons but think maybe in Demon Lord Danmte it happened)

in a pizza shop or w/e akira asks why they posesses them and Ryuo sez they aint as strong as Akira thinks and they need to posess stronger life formes to get their genetic structure and Akira thinks idf a bird is posessed: the daermon could fly

Akira figgers he became devilman to save humanity and miki's fam and goes back to miki's place with dinosaur toys on the shelf

she's worried he was out and notices damage and he gets on her and she wonders why hes acting different and they have sort of a moment and make out (which is non canon!) and its implied they b0ned(which is double non canon but still more canon than with Shirenu b0ning him and dream b0ning him and he j-zzed all over the ceiling in his sleep)

Then we get Morrison's World News with Japanese Subs and in the Japanese version the big black guy was speaking English but they dubbed it here for some reason

he tells aboput murders and bodyparts found around japan and then we see Jinmen as a mailman or cop or something and wanting something to eat

he goes to a turtle zelling thing and eats a turtle in frong of a kid and his face deviolves intoi a turtle daemon face and fingers saw it

later Akira goes to see Fingers and its name i just looked up and itas Masao Ushiku and he's not at the beach but he hears his voice and dumps his head in the water and looks as if he;'d be there and calling

Hew goes fdull cg and flies to the woods and then devolves to semi fortme and runs around with 1 arm up like hes got a shield and finds him sealed in this big a55 daemon shell with other peoples faces cr-ppily edited im it

he sez its ironic that he wanted to be his friend and now is gonna bite it, then jinmen comes to life looking like cr-ppy Contra Shattered Soldier CG and akira wants revenge for eatingh his friend

Ushiku sez h'es already dead (nani?! Ohhhhhh1 Hidebuuuuuu!) and the face is his last traced of consciousnous and won't last and he sez bye

Akira sez it was an honor being his friend and jinmen wants food so akira goes full cg(is this like wedding peach with the human, dress and mini skirt outfits?) AND 1 hit kills him with a back shot

Jinmen sez "Why'd you kill me? we're both daemons and we ain't supposed to fight" but Akira sez he's not a daemon but is human like the guys Jinmen iced and jinmen sez he didn't kill em, just ate em, like Humans eat animals to survive

Funny thing: Once they gave a Turkey a vaccine in its back and when the farmer checked on it days later: It ate a hole several inches in its own back as it liked its own taste!

So i think that disproves the myth that "Eating meat is mean to animals"

So Jinmen goes on with how He only eats and Satan wants to wipe out humans, and then, he dierd, AHHHHHHHHHH!

So the big black news guy is revealed to be Bill Jackson (Like Michael Jackson??) and sez theres reports all over da world of people devolving into monsters and wastinmg people, and the f bi is looking into it

So in class they have a bummer moment for Fingers and Akira remembers him saying Ryo said he was evil

How did they know he was dead Did trhey find his parts in Jinmens Shell?!

So Akira looks atr Ryo cockeyed and later in Computer class, Miko (Not Miko Mido)( comes by as it ends and goes in but isn't in uniforme and miki wonders where she was

a bully mocks her about dropping out and they joke abouit her being a demon like on tv and take her to another room to take off her clothes like its f--kin kekko kamen

miki just stands there until miko shoves 1 away and she attacks, onmly then does miki do anything, but miko's sleeve was ripped and shes all devolved under it on 1 spot and the teen bullys dreak out

then her aerm p-sses acidf on a globe and its acid fire and it buirns it to dust

miki trys to help her and says "oh miko" like its la blue girl and miko walks off

then the cops come and the studdents swarm out and its night now and akira comes in, sees miki is ok, and miki sez cuz miko cryed at being called a daemopn, it means shes still human

how da f did miki know about that?! the whole "demon people dont have feelings and sh-t"??

Jackson shows footage froim soviet los angelas where a cowvboy looking guy takes a shot gun to the cops and his face opens up like beetlejuice in that 1 scene and he caps the dumba55 camera man who ran up to a posessed cowboy dressed like marty mcfly in back to the future 3, with guns

here's an idea: is dawemons are real, don't that mean God is too? Can't you pray it away?

I mean alienns are daem,ons and aare rebuked by Jesus's Name

so later miko is by a swing in the middle of these tall buildings and hangs out with a grade schooler as i guess anyone a day under 18 is a child and thus: exactly the same

he's got bruises and his rents dont believe him, but his mom comes by all creepy saying dads home and is waiting for em

oh and his name is susumu and when he gets home, his dads eyes spin and have multiple pupuls and his mom has a snake tongue

in the manga they chopped him up and ate him and we see his head on tthe floor in a poole of bloode

but here its just implied

So Action Jackson says the gov sez demonss are another life forme faKING BEING HUMAN and will work with other govs to save humanity

Kinda like fighting the virus in 2019-20xx

and japan has an anti daemon force to fight em, then we see these daemon guys wacking people in the outside in the open with swords

What is this? England?

So Akira and Ryo are there and ryo says to leave em as they're scum but akira goes semi devolved and turns hgis hand into a spike club like some kinda Cobrala thing and busts em

then takes out another with his own sword and we got some decent gore

so later miki goes to see susumu who's not dead and hes not afraid of her as she saved him (da f--k?! did she ice his rents offscreen?)

So action jackson sez the gov changed the law to let them arrest anyone suspected of being a daemon, asnd to let em ice any suspected daemons

Why not taX EM for being demons like french canada?

so miki's dads kinda bummed cuz his friend was arrested by the demon hunters for susp[icxian of being a daemon and if he interfered, he'd be arrested too like its the ussr

turns out one of his enemy's outed him just cuz he didn't like him and iit was probably a lie

all it takes is an accusation and their life is ruined, like how anytime someone famous causes issue; the media or someone says "he's a racist/mo lester" and he's fired and ruined without a trial or hearing

so susumu and miko are arrested and later akira and miki go by miko's place andits all grafittied like the germansd hgouse in passchendaele

this rich lady comes by wanting Akira to move his bike from the road and asays Miko's fam skipped town as they had a daemon in their house

then freaks out at the idea that miki MIOGHT be a daemon and books it like she's someone who got a buncha shot but fears those who dont

miki and akira go to church as i ghuess they're catholic and Go Nagai is their Priest in cameo

Miki prays and akira looks at his keychain of a goblin or something and its for miki's cellphone but she dont want it

miki aSKS AKIRA to pray and says she prays to marry Akira in tjhis church (which is weird as in 1 manga:Miki's a witch or something) and she wantgs to have a buncha kids with him (didn't chichi say that aFTER MEETING GOKU?)

akira thinks thats too far away to imagine and leaves and later its night and ryo picks him up in his non korean car

btw; In Cyborg 009 Vs Devilman: Akira is voiced by Brice Papenbrook, Who was Densuke in Eiken, but in Devilman Crybaby: Silene/Shirenu is voiced by Cindy Robinson, who was Kirika in Eiken, and was into Densuke, And in Crybaby: Shiranu f'd Akira! So its like Kirika f'd Densuke!!

on the news the anti daemon troops go into an alleged dfaemon coven and shred all thes epeople with gunfire

ryo gets a machinegun and wants to go around shredding people but akira wont go and gives him his

ryo goes by a blue bug guy who asks for help and calles jhim Satan and Ruo goes around swinging 2 machineguns and shredding the anti daemon team

spioler; Ryo didn't know his true identity until near the end as he was mindwiped by Psycho Jenny/Genie to take the persona of the Dead Ryop Asuka so he copould fiond the humans weakness

But here it seesm like there never was a Ryo and its just Satam knowing the whole time he's gonna bring down humans

also he was a hermaphrodite in the manga with b00bs and a long weener

sao in the movie this fat load in an afro comes out and is shredded for a while by gunfire like in Violence Jack H-lls wind

the next day Father go Nagai reads the newspaper and akira is in this cafe thinking of this wheelchair guy getting a gun and these fat f--ks bodyslamming as guy

he thinks about how if you were a bit different, people would accuse you of being a daemon and f--k u up

also nations turned on each other and at miki's dads work in the fields later; akira brings dad his lunch and its real fancy

miki's mom is worried of miki's dad and he sez the other workers queered out and hes got nothing better to do and someones gotta trend the farmland,m so akira hel;ps him even though he's non union

but miki's dad sees akiras arm scales and he makes a moan like he just j-zzed on the ceiling

but miki's dad is ok with this even though in the manga he turned his shotgun on Akira for being outed

later in the mall people are looting and the cops take a shotgun to em and akira beats on em until they run

why didn't they shoot?!

also; cops capping shoplifters?! is this mad bull 34?!

so akira jumps like 30 feet like he's Sailor Venus and tells a sniper to stop instead of using his fists like he's brittish or something and its ryo wjhpo sez hes Satan

then parts of the town blow and ryo ruins and action bill jackson sez japan was declared a daemon nation and got missiled, but Japan counter attacked for being missiled by nations without warning!

so its ww3 and miki has the goblin on her phone and  wonders when thje war will end

Miki asks if Akira believes in God and she says she does, then smooches him as missiles go off outside

gotta say, in the 2020s, this is kida fdreaky, with the world being f'd up

Akira vows to protect miki and the later day; the demon hunters are shredding people with machineguns and miko and susumu have escaped  somehopw and go around the f'd up city like diet hokuto no ken

they remind me of ryo takuma and his sister a bit from violence jack

so they go around and the creeper is looking at miki and sees miko and susumu going by

miki goes out to help her and miko sez to help susumu as hes human and his life matters

miki lets miko come in and carrys susumu in and wait, where's tare?! miki's wiener kid brother?!

so they feed miko and susumu rice balls and miki asks her rents if they can stay, and they say yes

akira sez he's glad she saved susumu and at night; miko uses skin cream on her devolved arm and miki seez

miko sez shes a monster but miki comforts her and wasn't miki a tough bada55 chick in the manga? i mean she's not a wiump here, but we  don't see her badda55ness here

so miki gives miko a make up thing and sher feels pretty

the next later; these citizens want miki's rents to help them hunt the uninjected i mean deamons and miki's dad refuses so they suggest he might have daemons with him

miki's dad sez they gotta leave as they might have been reported and akira is in his 70s anime outfit, which makes me wish they had alphonse in here as some bad cameo

mikis dad gives miko and susummu the keyt to the institute and sez he';s gonna help ewm later and miki gives her lipstick and mimi's mom gives em food

so miko and susumu flee and akira goes out to check but the demon hunters swarm in at gunpoint and 1 beats on miki as they look for daemons

the hunters think they are daemons and mikis dad says hes the one and to get him, but akira comes out to them and goes full cg and knocks em away with his wings b4 goes to semi devolved and they freak out

miki  sees and hugs him and sez akiras not evil or a daemon and smooches him and feels his arm scales

then akira sez he's gonna return for them and she is sad she's not gonna see him again

the demon hunters arrest him and he consents even though he has the power to waste em and save his loved ones and they drive him away on a Y cross as miki sez she loves him

so they open firwe on akira and hes dead and later at night the townsfolk go to lynch miki's fam for having a guy the gfovb told them tyo fear in their home but this yellow hat ghuy who i think was the creeper tries to save her with his words

mikis rents tell her to hide as akira will be back for them and she goes upstairs and the lynch mob comes up as mikis mom asks if he cheeted on her

he sez never and they break in and swaRM em as miki is in her room with a big a55 knife

if miki;'s dad had a sttong firearm, he could have defended his family and sent those killers to h e double australia

so meanwhole; miko and susumu are on a train and guys are after em and they run

miki's rents are iced and they come for her and she sez if humanity has devolved this bad, she'd rather be a daemon and when a guy comes in her room, she tries knifing him and claimns tyo be a daemopn

miko and susumu are on top of a buiding and they jump but she grows butterfly rings like the f--kin dark crystal and saves them as susumu thinks shes a pretty angel

she then pulls a kataka and flies back up and sez the humans are the real kilelrs ands cuts em down with a katana that just was there asd i guess its japan, and she uses ones of their guns against em 

1 guy isn't dead dead so she throws a katyaka in his back b4 he caps her like a bada55

so the ciuty is gioing f--k and susumu sees it blow as global war starts

action jacksion sez its fun as people ice each other and takes off his shirt and grows 2 more heads like i guess Xenon?

the media news is daemons? what a shock!

so akira gets better from being dead and pukes bl;lood and sees a lot pf people iced near him

the next day he goes home and has a shirt now somehow and, wait, how'd his pants stay on?! didn't he hulk out 12 feet tall?!

so at home he sees em but its just in his miond and he finds em, dead and the place f'd

then sees miki's cellphone and video of her being knifed by the guy she told she was a demon and then says shes' not one and bites it

Akira then sees miki's head on a stick and screams and walks out with it (didn't this happen with Blue in Violence Jack?)

so akira walks through the ruined city and to the undamaged church and puts her head on the alter

akira thinks of miki's dream of having a happy family and crys and Ryo comes in church asking if there isd a God (Which he sdhould f--king know) and if humanity is worth saving

akira asks if he was always Satan and how could he lie like that (The fathjer of liers is lying?! What a Shock!)

Ryo sez its who he is and he hates humans except akira as he wanted akira to live so he devolved him into a daemon

then asks akira to join him to rule the world with only daemons. but there were too many to desttroy, so the humans wiped eaCH OTHER OUT (like that twilight zone ep??)

Akira looks at miki's head and asks ryo to ice him aas hes the last human and hes got nothing to live for wiithout miki and (like in the Bible) its not good to be alone

Ryo dont get it and aklira sez he';s the dumb animal like ryo callers humans for turning on each other

ryo wants akira to join him and (unlike in devilman lady) akira turns him down and won't jooin him so ryos gonna ice him

thern they transform into ps2 cgi and have a grey tone fight where ryo easily beats him down and no matter how epic aklira gioes; he can't stopp him

Why not say a prayer? Won't Holy do something?

So the fight is sdo DBZ strong that it f--ks the planet and makes it go f--kin hokuto no ken as all these daemons swarm together and form a huge abomination like that scene in Urotsukidoji and Akira stands alone against the enmdl;ess swarm

he blazes his cosmo to maxiumum and goes as a blue fire colossos andnujkes all the enemies as Ryo goes in for a kick

spoiler; in the REAL version; Akira and an army of Devilmen fought Ryo for like 20 years and the war wiped out everything

So Akira punches a ddent in Ryos b00bless chest and Akira is kicked through the gut sideways and both fall

Then we get a fleshbeck of Ryop and Akira making a Sand Tower of Babel (Which expla\insd a lot) and they wish it wont be knocked down and wou;ld last forever

then they cover it with their bodies to protect it from the rain and akira wakes up on this rock in the sea and they say each others names and rypo wants him to live

akira sez its ok if ryo survives and its shown that from the waist down; akira isnt there

then the island turns in the sun as we see ryo's shadow move on it and ryo pukes blood and ryo sezx if akira bites it, so will he

so akiraS DEAD and miko and susumu are somehow alive in this apocaLYPSE ZERO ruins and miko sez in her heart she sees a pretty world but susumu sez its gone

miko sez they gotta go on even if they're the only ones as they promised miki they'd not give in and a japanese song plays and they go off holding hands in the post apocalyptic ruins as the credits roll and it zooms out showing the nuked area

btw ryo's REAL reason for hating people is never stated. God let daemons evolve but didn't like em and was gonna wipe em out, so he rebelled and was sealed away for millions of years.

Once he came out; he saw humans took over and wanted to wipe em out to give the earth back to daemons. But after seeing Akira dead; he saw he was doping what God did and regretted it as the Angels came down to make the Earth go Violence Jack

Could be worse

Coming soon, from Walt Disney Pictures, Disney's Devilman! 

Kieron French is a shy teen who don't fit in, and his friend Michelle took him in after his parents disappeared in the Himalayas, 

But when his friend Roy Oskar comes back, he reveals Demons are coming! So he uses a Machine to turn Kieron into a Half Demon to fight them! 

After a few fights and getting used to his powers, Roy shows a Broadcast of the Demons and says they can be anyone and the town breaks out in Chaos! 

So Kieron faces him and finds he's really the Demon King who used Kieron to get to know the humans and find their weakness! 

After Kieron saves Michelle and her family from the (Racist ) Cops, he fights Roy in his True Form, a big purple Monkey Sasquatch! 

After being beat down, Michelle plays the recording of Roy admitting to having turned the people against each other and the people stop fighting after seeing they were being used! 

With no Chaos to feed off of, Roy loses his power and is sealed back in the Himalayas and Kieron and Michelle get married and have a kid who becomes the hero in the Sequel! 

Rated G as there's no blood, gore, death, swearing, nudity or mature themes!

Wait, What about Shirenu?! Rid Ryo kill her? She's just not there after the fight!

The end

honestly; that wasn't bad

as someone who saw it in ther 2020s i gotta say; its pretty relatable in showing fears people deal with

war, paranoia, big gov, ect

yeah it dont touch pon Go Nagai's anti war feels as much as it should, but its got some decent for its time effects and tells a decent version of the manga

yeah it cut stuff and changed things, but all books are changed for the screen

and unlike crybaby and bram stokers dracula; its not devoolved into f--king p0rn0h!

yeah soime stff was werid, but it shows the dangers of what wqe may face in the near future and i hope its words don't fall on deaf ears

aw F! thats usually what people who were ignored are quoted as saying after the world gets f'd!

but i didn't hate it and the mon colle knights and apocalypse zero actors did a decent job

the ending is more hopeful than the book and yeah it could have been better, but its not hateable and ends in a good place to do violence jack

also the ending of susumu and miko being at peace together \despite being from opposite sides in the war was used in Robotech with Scott and Ariel

For Devilman 2 I want miko and susumu to be wandering the wasteland and its like a dacade later so they are like 20 and really muscley. they come across a band of survivors from the war but somethings not right about them., turns out; they are cannibals and lurte in people who come by to feed on and b0ne as they eat them alive. So Susumu and miko go around their carnival ruins base and take em out one at a time in epic fighjts. Also its a 128 bit fighting game on Gamecube, Dreamcast, PS2 and Xbox where you play as Miko who uses her powers or Susumu who uses his self taught psychic powers and bust through them