Thursday, January 27, 2022

White Tiger Review

 Note I spell better than the marvel hero

White Tiger

This is my review on White Tiger from 1923

It satarts Priscilla Dean FROM tHE wICKED dARLING, Matt Moore from the 10s 20 000 leagues under ther sea and the unholy 4 i meaN 3, Raymondf Griffith from All Quiet on the Western Front, the horrid wallace beery from The Last of the Mohicans, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, The Champ and Ttreasure Islandf, Emmit King from the 30s Man in the Iron Mask, and sdomew 1800sa homioes i nerver heard of

its directyed by Tod Browning who did The Unholy 3, Freaks and Fraculas, which are NOT P0RN0ES

i never saw this b4 but its public domain and I like T B

Huh, its a remake of OPutside The Lawe frimn Todd Browbnning too

So after credits we get text about the White Tiger which make it seem like Starscream

in the home of mike donovan (Wasn't he Guile in the cheesy a55 90s Street Fighter Cartoon?) Scotland yard is watching his place or something and he senses danger

his kids, a boy and a girl (*In a struggle for truth?) play safe and therews a  guy called bill hawkes who is in there and is gonna signal da cops

backl door billy isnt nice to da kids and boy sez he hopes billy is alive when hes a ghrown up

donovan triusts billy and boy goes out by a cop as billy gives the signal, a window shade thing

dA cops come in and cap donovan as HE  may havbe had a gun and a chick tells boy they killed his dad and sister as he spazzes out

but girl is allive and told by billy donovan bit it and she will to if she talks

15 years later; they think the other is in h e double soviiet england and its at a wax museum like in the Sega Game Mastyer of Darkmess

billy goes by donelli and hid in the evil area of soviet paris and girl is faking being his daughter

theres a mechanical chess player (Like the game boy chess master?) that is operated by boy and he wants revenge on the guys who iced hius fam

he dont know that girl is his sister and likes her, and i think shes a pick pocket

he crawls outta the chess players a55 and gets dressed up to be with girl and his co worker thinks hes gay for her

is this where star wars ghot it?

are they gonna inbreed?

so he meets her and sez he thought she was a cop and they see a guy with a thing on his tie

later they remeet and she gives him an item and we look through the wax museum at historical things of torture and revengfe

she wwants to do it to the guy who got her dad iced  and sez it to back door billy

billy has girl talk to boy and remninds er that shes hisd kid and she tells boy her dad wants to see him at their place tonight

in the real vewrsion he b0ned him there

so at da home billy dont trist chivcks in there as they might steal anmd bickerts with girl and looks over wallets

he sez if he can get boy on his side she can stop pickpocketing

boy comes by looking like walt disney witn that hair and moustache, maybe gomez addams, and billy offers to bring the mechanicxal chess player to america with em to make big money

da cop and a guy come in asking if any of those 3 did something aND guy sez no BD THEY GO

cops coming in without a warrent to accuse people?

How Un American!

so then billy sez his iddea of count donelli amnd daghter have a mechanical chess player and society falls for it

boy asks if he knew mike donovan and billy sez no

boy sez donovan wwas his dad and cleans his nails with a switch blade and sez hawkes iced his dad/sdister and he wants revenge like Cutey Honey or the Inuyasha cast

billy sez the killer is probably dead by now and invites him to America

boy asez he likes girl like a sister as i guess even in the 200s; inbreeding wasn't ok in films yet

billy sez he always wanted a son and they go to soviet new york later

1 guy, richard longwirt (ding long weortj?! is this a p0rn0?!) is interested in thjem (oh f--k! it IS a p0rn0!!) and billy and girl lreased the hamilton residence

so thry live i a big a55 house and ding long worth bugs em every day

boy smokes whiuch is gonna kill him like drinking or b0ning a lot and girl fakes being billys seretary

boy dont trust dick and thinks hes up to something and claims to be the brainsd buy she bickers with him

billy comes down and shuts their a55es for em being too loud and dick comes by so they get dressed up and fake being rich

1 butler looks like mussolini and brings dick in and boy fakes being a man of the king

dick sez a bishop wants to try to beat the jinzo ningen chess player and girl goes out in his big white car with him

so after a buncha dates with diick and they go to this cabin in the catskills, oh builly and boy are there too

whasts with browning and cabins? this wwas used in the unholy 3 aswell!

then again, birth of a nation used it too and that wwas really popular

girl is gay for dick but billy wants to use him to get into fancy homes

so in 1 home they jacvk a safe aand steal sh-t and, wait, its just boy going in the metal chess man and being shipped out

girl wants out of the crime game and later at a packed place, they show the metal chess man in attack mode and show some hears turning to make peopple think its mechanical

boy shifts around and moves the gears to make it look not hollow and gets in the jinzo ningen to play chess but is more interested in girl

btw the jinzo ningen just points to pieces and billy moves em

so boy wiins as i guess hes actually good at chess and they move the metalo off

boy comes out and jacks a safe but fakes beimng into a stone bust of a thing when a guy comes by

dick and girl are together and he wonders if theres another guy but she sez she is gonna wait a while for the answer

boy returns and dick sees him by the inzo ningen and he cant enter the anus with beiing looked at

a butlet dont recpoognize boy as a guest and outs him to the home ownner amd home owener asks whjo he is

1 guy sez he was in ther library and they search him and he does hand moves to billy

they find nothing and have him taken to hheadquarters (i assume the cops) as i guess in soviet new york; you dont need a reason for the gov to getcha

later, billy and girl realize ther jewels are in the chess machine and dick recopgnized the boy so they gotta hide out

girl suggests the cabin and they pack and get da joolz but the cops are there and they head to da door

boy opens da door and tthey split and the cops check the chess andropid

at da cabin girl has sore a55 feet and they check the jewels and divifde em up but there's 13 pieces

a small blicketee black cat comes in and mews a bit ands girl thinks 13 pieces and black cat is a siign

so then i think dick came by and booy gives him the jewel bag but girl takes it and they talk

back door billy takes a rifle and chats with boy about something, then dick goes to another room where billy sez hes gonna stay here, see?

girl looks at da joolz and boy tells dick that dick wont get thre jerweels

girl hides the jewels and breaks a mirror AS the guys come out and she sez she was finding a place to hide em

boy takewws em out and she sez she;'s scatter em around and bill;y sez he's gonna scattewr her over ther cabin if she trysd it again

billy has em puill up da floor boards so they know where it is and boy wants to count em 1st

they do and at night they hjardly sleep as they distrust the each other

dick rattles the dsoor andboy opens it and he tells boy that dishonestlyu leads to unhappiness but boy dont buy it

dick comes out and calls billy the count and girl wants billy to use a bucket but h gives it to dick and she goes with him

boy watches em and sez hes creeped out by dick and thinks hes eithewr a great crook or non human

girl and dick returen and he sez he knowes why she wanted to wait and now wants AN swer

later its night and they werte probably just j-rkin off all day and girl wants to lwave

they wonder if she;s gonna betray em and dick has a rifle now and fires out the window

the trio get their guns and when theylook in; dfick is reading a book

then we see ther poem of the Whitwe Tiger being a crook and then billy beery gets ant poison

boy sez billy not knowing hawkes despite living in his area all his life is off

billy and boy watch ghirl and dick freom rthe window and he pouts the piosoin out and sez shge was at the oven with it

when diock and girl come back he gets her to think bioys into putting poison in da foode

the 2 seem to distrust each other and she smells the poison and the soup 

later itys dinner aND she serves soup as billy and dick are doing firerwood

he dont eat it and she is suspect but he offers her some and she dont either

back door billy and dicky come in and boy gives dick his soup

she stops him from eating it and after some bickering he strangles her but she fights him off with a knife shank in the torso

thats actually clever

to each it looks like the other is the poisoner

this is good writing

dick tends to boys wound and boy sez he knows billy is hawkes and he should have iced him b4 he framed him like he did michael donovan

then admits to being the son and she says she's the sister

they have a moment of reunion anmd she sez she thought he was dead

girl gets a rtifle and aims it at tyhe deviant evil wallace beery

send him to h-ll! you know you wanna! all the cool kids are dooing it

but instead she has dick get a rope and sez if boy mbites it she'df brand him for life

shoot him in the parts!

so dick trreats boy and he's not doing well

the only way to save him is a transplant so she cuts open billy and pulls out the organs boy needs as he screams


really she gets emotional and we see billy hanging from his wrists in the room

she gets a metal thing and theres a lightyening stormed flickering the light and she finds biuilly has gotten outt ahis ropes and has escaped out the window in the woods

girl is gonna send the jewels back and wait, its dick asking her to aS they wqqont but her happiness or peace

evantually his words get to hwer and slay the white tiger in her heart(take that marvel!!)

the next day they get the jewels and find they are gone but i think the cats got em

the cops come in with guns and he sezx there was no robbery but an experiment and he's gonna explain to the cheif and return the jewels to his sister

billy b--chcakes bit it in the woods and dick sez "The cats paws all of us for something we dont know, some purpose we dont understand

the end

that was pretty good

nice twists and good drama

half the film is them in the cabin and the othert half is them putting the puieces on the board

Kinda like From Dusk Til Dawn 1 or Candyman 1

good style of crime and love/hate

nice acting and expression and its got good style

no swearing or b0ning or deviants ort graphic violence

its a clean serious movie

nowADAYS they;'d fuill it with swearing and gore adn sodomy cuz they dont think anything for adults can be clean

tod bworning did well on this one and i'm, glad i saw it

its not as intense, but it has a few good moments that come together well

for White Tiger 2 i want for the giurl and dick to be getting ready to be married but sh has issues with her life of crime and dont know if she's worthy of being normal after it. so she sees a shrink who has her relive her past and see what pinpoint moment caused her to get f'd up and we see her adventures over those 15 years. also its an 8 bit nes, game boy, Sega Master System, Game Gear, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 game where you play as her and gotta do different missions across europe to unlock the final boss who's the billy as a representation of her uissues and beat him to be free from her past.

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