Sunday, March 26, 2017

House Review

note; this movie is wried so my review is too
this is my review on house(1977)
it starts with werid animated titles like a cd game on sega cd
then these Japanese school girls like yuko and reiko in valis talk about going on summer vacation
they all have jllly pirate nicknames like in the crow
mac, gorgeous, sweet, kung fu, prof, fantasy, melody.
the filming is weird
like watching an anime
weird editing and camera angles
also its fast paced and lively
and has bright vivid colors
and its fullscreen
the main chick comes home and her dad sez hes got a new gf
she looks European
oh, the main characters name is gorgeous
the gf is a jewelry designer and is good at cooking and cleaning and mending c,loth
gorgeous don't like it and goes to her room with flowers painted on the walls
she looks through pictures  of her mom an has trippy flashbacks with shakey camera looking at b/w photos
at school the other chicks talk about girl cr-p
mac is the fatty
sweet isn't well explained
kung fu is the fighter chick
prof is the nerd
fantasy is some chick(I think in love with a teacher)
melody is musical
as the trip gets called off, gorgeous invites the gang back to her aunts summer place in her moms home town
a white cat starts following around gorgeous
this is how sailor moon starts
the gf decides to go with gorgeous as she wants to be a good mom
man theres a lot of fades and dissolves and zooms in here
the male teacher the chicks have a crush on trips down stairs comically cuz of the white cat and has to get checked out at the hospital
the cat is now named blanche
like blanche sweets
the chicks take a magnet train to saffron city I mean the country
on the train ride they look at blanche and fata55 mac keeps gorging
also she's not actually that fat
after my 600lb life, no ones fat
gorgerous tells the gang the story of how her ant's bf went to war and got wacked
its done with silent film style
kinda like a page of madness
she gives piano lessons to the neighbors and still lives in her grandma's home
they get to the stop and walk through the woods
theres a thing where it shows each chick and their street name
I just realized theres characters in here named blanche and sweet
they stop by a watermelon stand and find a fat a55 there
he recognizes gorgeous as the niece as she has the eyes
btw the backgorunds are openly fake
painted on
but look better than cgi
at the aunts place blanche is there and the aunt is in a wheelchair
one chick tries to get a camera picture but the cats eyes shine and the cam flies outta her hand and busts on the ground
mac reveals she bought a watermelon
they say; its a fat as mac!!
ur gonna give her an eating disorder!
or maybe she's gonna wind up o my 600lb life!
inside the place a chandelier drops glass spikes and kung fu kicks it away
melody plays the piano
aunt has lotsa pix of cats
an a plastic skeleton
grampa was a dr
aunt hasn't had many visiters in a while
in the kitchen its unused and the fridge is outta order
so mac goes to chill watermelon in the well
kung fu kicks in a door and a rat comes out
after finding out mac is called mac cuz she's always eating, aunt sez she looks tasty all round all over
Is that cannibal or queer?
maybe both
after dinner mac goes to get the mellon
she isn't seen again
1 chick checks on the well and when she pulls up the mellon its macs head
it talks to her
oh its fantasy
it flies around and bites her a55 hapilly
wtf am I watching?!
fantasy tells the gang and aunt can alk after "getting energy from the girls"
they check the well and its a melon
as they eat the melon, aunt has an extra eye in her mouth
yeah, that makes sense
1 chick is sweaty and wants to bathe
prof drinks well water w/o looking at it and its blood
sweet finds a doll saying her name
1 chick takes a Japanese bath and we see her t-ts for a sec
theres some freaky hair effects with her hair  going up her back
its done by moving it away and reversing it
kung fu in undies and a wife beater fights a log
aunt sez fantasy will see mac
we get weird scenes of aunt dancing with the skeleton and reversed footage an aunt eating a chick nd the cat mewing ad its all in tune to a 70s soft song
1 chick goes to a room and theres a triple mirror
she opens a music box with the same tune playing the whole movie
its like the theme in violence jack slum king/harlem bom ber
melody plays that tune on piano
and the skeleton dances behind her
the mirror chick puts on make up in the room
we get trippy effects in the mirror of the aunt being the reflection and young
the cats eyes flash and the mirror breaks and blood oozes out
then she gets covered in after effects of 70s style
as melody plays the cats eyes flash and the keyboard animates different colors
the cat goes to sweet and eyes flash
sweet is getting b0ned by the mattress and pillows
melody sez the piano bit her and gets a band aid
sweets missing and when one chick rechecks on melody she needs toilet paper
sweets clothes are there and theres a nude doll
prof sez the teacher she has a crush on is coming to save her
she imagines him on a white horse like that bonnie tyler song
they check the mirror room(oh it was gorgeous in it) and find her dazed and confused
the gang try the phone but in it is people calling for help
gorgeous sez its outta order
shes one of them!
she leaves em and the door locks
they gang tries to get out but everything shuts
they gotta beat the boss
gorgeous goes in the foggy outside and juggles glowing things
kung fu tries fighting the doors but they are too much
prof sez the doors might automatically close at night
everyone goes with this
they try asking her how to open em and find macs ribbon in a jar
melody plays music on piano
they hear gorgeous and go to find her
but melody cant stop playing
the keyboard is alive
it bites off melodies fingers
then her hand
then it freekin eats her
the effects are cr-ppy on purpose
and the blood is glowy
it looks like something kids do now in sony vegas
they find gorgeous in a Japanese white thing
kung fu sees gears turning and sweet is in it
I thik 1 chick went with goegoues and bit it
when they get back fantasy is iced
and melodys fingers are jumping on the keys
turns out fantasy just fainted
meanwhile, at a noodle shop the teacher eats noodles nd the noodle guy has a bear in uniform
prof reads aunts diary where she sez she knows her bf is still alive and will return
the house goes f'd and lips and eyes tell the surviving gang the aunt bit it and her ghost or w/e eats unmarried girls who come in to stay strong
the house starts weird floating cr-p and colored lights
so kung fu fights it
she tries phoning but the cord goes on her
so she busts the phone
she fights goegoues's ghost as the teacher cant find the bace
ku fu realizes the cat is the key to winning
she tries to bust it but a ight eats her
after trippy effects, her legs fly out and kick the cat poster
goregious ghost gushes blood and so does everything else
soon the tatami mats are floating in blood
teacher finds the watermelon man who sez the girls were eaten
h turns into a skeleton
prof falls in the blood and we see her t-ts as she swims
the last chick floats on a tatami mat and finds goegeouis
oh its fantasy
goegeous turns out to be the aunt who falls asleep with her head on the aunt/goegeous's t-ts
young aunt/goegeous's eyes flash
later the gf goes to the house and in the teachers car is banaNAS (he previously said he likes em) where he was last
like mANY 70s films it ends with slow moving and a love song
gf goes to the house(now fertile and planty) and sees gorgeous in the kimono opening the house doors
goegeous sez her friends are sleeping but will wake up when hungry
her eyes flash and the gf's had goes up in fire
then aunt sez some lovey thing about love
then the credits have a chick playing in front of the camera
an the credits going star wars scrolling into a cartoon house mouth
btw the house font reminds me of Splatterhouse
the end
that was fun
weird and zany and random
but fun
like watching a good anime
for house 2 I want the girls going through another dimension trying to reform their bodies as they are being turned into ghosts. a guy visiting the area finds the banana car an eats one and gets a spirit connection to the teacher and gives him spirit powers to travel dimensions to save the girls. b4 they tur into ghosts. he goes through each personalized dimension to save the chix 1 at a time and at any order. also after he saves 1, she can help him or save other girls. in the end they fight the fusion of the aunt and the cat to save those she turned b4. also its a platformer/puzzle game on sega genesis and snes and each girl has abilities used to get through other areas and you gotta beat the girls to save em

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Arsene Lupin Review

note; this movie is about frenchies. ewww
arsene lupin
this is my review on arsene lupin(30s version)
its got john Barrymore AND HIS BRO LIONEL
most people know of lupin III
but being in soviet Canada in the 90s, I saw the cinar show "nighthood" about him in da 30s
it starts with a guy tied up and getting a phone to call da cops
he sez hes been robbed and the theif has a limp and is tall
the cop seez this might be arsene lupin (loo pen) (arson)
later the cop cars swarm a place
they arrest a guy tied up for being lupin but he sez hes the duke of something
they brings him to the crime scene but the guy sez the theif was taller and had a limp
the main cop sez he's got him and has a limp and cane
he brags about how dukes going to jail
duke wears big bugs bunny gloves
then a geezer comes in saying the duke is da duke(not john wayne)
duke is let free
geezer sez his jewels and bonds are at his place
duke sez they otta guard it
later at the crime lab, they check the science ad evidence and say the perp is 185lbs and limps
main cop brings in the impression and it matches his shoe
the chief busts main cops a55 over not getting him and sez to look at everyone with a limp and the same shoes
this is after ww1 I assume so many people are busted from fighting zee kaizer!!
lupin sent a note to the cops saying hes gonna be at the dukes ball
the chief sez hes gonna break the main cop if he dot get lupin but cop sez hes been on the force 25 years
at the ball duke sez he cat pay guys now but can tomorrow
da cops are at the ball and the duke walks in on a naked chick in his bed
shes from Russia
imperial Russia
that's b4 da commies took over and iced everyone
her dad was a general
if this were made nowadays they'd be b0ning(like in 8 mile)
duke guesses her job and one guess is she after lupin
ooh, her name is Sonia(Sonja) like the chick from battle arena toshinden and mortal kombat
they talk more and he checks out her skimpy dress
he wants to dress her(purvurt) but she don't consent
so hes gonna leave but she has em dress in the dark
]are they b0ning??
they go out to the dance
but she dances with another guy
oh its the geezer
he invites her to his place with the loot
later Sonja and duke talk comparing eachother to booze
later 2 frenchies eating see a guy and thimk its lupin
they hold him at gunpoint and get the duke
its the cop
duke sets em straight
but they have a newspaper with lupins stats that match cop
duke questions cop and wants ID but to get back at him for b4
he has the Frenchies hold him while he calls the station but the power goes out
a big a55 cake comes in looking like a castle
but in the dark someone jacks the peoples bling
more cops come in and they hold everyome for searches
also a cop backs up main cops story
main cop tells Sonja that shes going to the geezer place
hes working with her and sez he has to act "stupider than ever"
later after everyone was cavity searched, duke stays behind and tells the frenchies he cant pay em but they can crash at his place
he calls the main cop and fakes being sonjas cousin
main cop sez his trap is working
later at the geezer place he checks his safe but a guy holds him up
its duke joking
that a fake out
they test the safe protection of some kinda electricity thing that stuns em
later Sonja is sleepwalking and duke leads her to a room and makes out with her
shes faking btw
she dont respond so he puts his had on her b00bs to feel her heartbat
he sez hes gonna do something guaranteed to wake her up
and splashes water on her
tried to make it sound like hes gonna b0ne her
she later sez lupin is there and left a jewel thing with her
lupin sends geezer a note saying he gypped innocent people to make hi fortune and lupins taking it back
I gotta say its hard to type lupin as I wanna type lumpin
later geezer gives cop something (I didn't get wat it was) and sez to mention it to no one
later cop hides in the shadows and has a firearm
later duke comes into sonjas room faking sleep walkuing
shes gonna take a dump of water on him but h reveals hes faking
he jacked the icebox for cold booze
they talk about lupin (what he'd do) and have a sorta romance talk
I think they were b0ning in the real version
then guys come in and take a buncha cr-p
next day geezer freaks out and his cops wer drugged with wine and woke up in undies under a bridge
then main cop brings in all the guys in cuffs who jacked the cops clothes and geezer's cr-p
but lupin still got the jewels and bonds
signed his name too
and only duke knw about the electricity besides them
main cop interviews the perps and they claim innocence
he fids the weakest link, a age 19 guy, and sez prison is a rough place
he's gonna get b0ned
main cop asks if duke is lupin
after a long pause, he sez no
main cop promises a clean slate if they reveal who lupin is
duke sez lupin would reward anyone who is loyal
main cop sez to bring em to paris and make em talk
they gon get b0ned
after getting caught in the safe elctircity duke frees cop, revealing he knows how
he sez he was sleeping whe it was jacked
the Sonja sez she was with duke all night
cop reveals she was a crook and working for him
and if she don't say what he wants, she goes back to jail
and if she sez she wasn't with duke, he gets arrested for being lupin
he sez she wasn't with him and a rock w/ a note signed by lupin sez to release them or hes gonna swipe the mona lisa
in the chaos, duke and Sonja escape
this is getting tight
duke disguises himself as a hobo looking guyand goes to the louvre
he gets a kid to blow his whistle and sets up smoke makers
then switches places with the real hobo painter flower guy
in the chaos people run around
but the paintings were fake and the real mona lisa was in the vault
but lupin took it
they search everyone and the flower hobo gets frisked
his flower thing has a rolled paper in it
his French bread
I feel for this guy
they let him use the potty but after le leaves, the real flower hobo is still in it
it was lupin(duke)
cop uses flower hobo's horse to walk back to lupins base
lupin wears handcuffs and acts like Sonja caught him
he barters with cop for it and gives back the mona lisa for the feedo of his men
after giving back the painting he reveals he caught cops daughter and snt her to the boarder
implying the brits are gonna be b0ning her if hes not let go
after some sappy cr-p, cop cant let him go, even if its his kid gets bum b0ned by brits
lupin reveals the daughter is is here AND LUPI SEZ; IF HE WAS CAUGHT A WEEK AGO,(f caps lock) he'd not have met her
on the car ride cop sez once a guy in cuffs jumps out and he fired 5 shots but missed as he swam away
also lupin hid the jewels and bonds in geezers mattress and went to cops place a month ago to copy his shoes
it all makes sense now
lupin jumps out, off a bridge, and as cop opens fire, another cop sez the last one got him
head cop praises main cop for saving the mona lisa and icing lupin
he just wants a break and to be with his kid
elsewhere lupin and Sonja buy a gold ring
the end
that was classy
fun and smart
I see where nighthood got its inspiration and charm
for arsene lupin 2 I want the kid of lupin and the kid of the kid of the cop to team up to save france from an English supervillain in the 50s(or whenever 20 years after this movie took place) also they team up with a polish magic user who can use his energy to blast people apart and who wants to help Poland become the new world hero

Friday, March 24, 2017

The X From Outer Space Review

note; I'm reading subs and looking back to type this. don't expect much
the x from outer space
this is my review on the x from outer space
its also called Uchū Daikaijū Girara?, Giant Space Monster Guilala
it starts with credits about constellations and singing about da urth
so these Japanese guys wanna go to mars but ufos are f'ing em up
and they have a super nucular spaceship
also theres a blonde with bad hair whos into biology or something
their spaceship is called da astro boat
sounds like astroboy
as they go to take off a guy flirts with lisa the blonde
they laugh
they launch and their rocket opens like a banana and a space ship comes out
they have anti gravity but its turned off
lisa was not right from it
I think she floated out of her bra
back on urth da head guys talk about how it wasn't the machines fault the missions failed
but ufos and magnetic cr-p
1 suggests its something controlled by earth
in space they meet a ufo
1 guy on board ha his pedriod or something and ist well
hes the dr
lol a vhs taepe on the control panel
they go after the ufo
but it disappears so they go to da moon
they contact the moon base and talk to michiko but he's p-ssed
my cabe went out for a bit but I do t think I missed much
when it came back they were getting off the astro boat on da moon
the dr goes to get checked on and he has spaCE SICKNESS
f caps clock
the rest eat and there big apples that taste cr-ppy
lisa gives michiko earings from Germany
its widescreen
I just noticed
outside they jump around in low gravity and the guys take a bath in water made outta moon elemetnts
michiko and lisa take showers
in both cases we don't see anything
the dr is replaced by dr stein on da MOON
stein don't like it
they leave the moon
on the trip 2 marz they deal with asteroids
the ship ets a hole and ai sucks out
lisa barely gets get helmet on
on urth they say these radio interference
they're almost at the part where other missions ended
after fixing the air problem, the ufo returns
it pulls em with a tractor beam
captain cuts the engine to save fuel as its pointless to keep it on but stein tries to throttle it
the crew stops him
the ufo leaves
1 guy notices something on the ship and is gonna go out
but lisa goes instead
oh, he goes 2
they collect cr-p on the rocket
turns out the ufo lwft cr-p on em and went to mars
the reactor is at half power
a moon vehicle goes after em and gets there quick
its michiko
not michiko Yamane from Castlevania/contra/rocket knight
or michiko neya who as new cutey honey
they bring back the cr-p from the rocket and it wont be complete until its exosed to their atmosphere
so much 4 mars
later the cr-p ha burned through the floor using laser rays
they also find a footprint
also voltage is going down
theres blackouts
they a giant rubber suit monster bursts outta the ground in smoke and h-llfire
the next day the gang investigate ad find a footprint like the one in the lab
only huge
what were they doing for the last 12 hours??
and where did the thing go?
turns ut, its going to Tokyo
lisa sez the material left by the creature and the rocket cr-p is the same
they call it; guilala
japan sends tanks but they do jack
It fireballs them
so in come the jets
they do squat
it looks like team America
it busts em and a jumbo jet
we get news stories from all over the world
the army tries lasers but they don't do anything
guilala picks up a tanker boat and chucks it into a power plant
is this where the boat in the building in Hokuto no ken the movie came from?
lisa sez they need to use a vacuum to make a substance like guilala\s shell
the gang and michiko decide to go to space and do it
they go to the moon
and they reuse the same footage as the ship coming out of the banana thing as b4
meanwhile guilala busts a55 on earth
the next day guilala is still going
doesn't he sleep?!
in space they made a lotta guilalalium and head back
they try contacting earth but something jamming their communications
lisa drops something and finds this metal case has a high reading of something
they need something to lessen the guilalanliums something or they cant get back to earth
they need to put it in the reactor
the ufo attcks earth and busts up a lotta things
its guilala and he's absorbed nucular power
it busts into water and goes back to its monster forme
the base sez guilala might head for em cuz they got some nucular thing
the astro boat heads back but he ufo attacks
they return and get out but the base is attacked by guilala and busted up
lisa is stuck under a metal thing and her legs are stuck
they get her out ad michiko tends to her legs
guilala is heading for em and the others are getting the guilalalium ready
its nucular cr-p
they lure guilala away with it
this musta been fun to film
better than cr-ppy a66 cgi
guilala eventually grabs the nucular thing and the guys fall off and the car crashes and brusts into flames
the nly way to stop him with enriched nucular power, is to spray him with guilalalium
lisa and michiko get to the guys who lured away guilala and 1 guy only has a sprained ankle form falling dozens of feet
the jets fight guilala and he fights back
the guilalaium coats him in white paste
everyone returns and guilala turns into j-zz and shrinks
lisas gonna grabs it but uses tongs to put it in a container
lisa sez guilala cant be finished on earth and might recover
so they decide to send it back to space
they send it to space and a guy asks is lisa told another guy how she feels
love takes courage and she sez guilala taught her that he loves someone else
well that came from nowhrer
michiko and the guy lisa likes talk about where guilala is going and walk together as a love song plays
btw the shot where guilala turned to foam looked like the ending part of trog
the film ends with the rocket with guilala going to space
the end
that was pretty good
I liked it better than shin godzilla
good effects even if cheesy
I like how there wasn't a tacked on sad moment in it
for the x from outer space 2 i'd like it if they sent another mission to mars and this time had back up with a cloaking device and took out the ufo that f;d em every time b4. they get to mars and its got guilala creatures living there but they are smaller cuz of the less gravity. also they are planning to use an Interplanetary ray to turn people on earth into their slaves and they were only attacking ships that went to mars to prevent them from finding out about em. so the new team sent to mars has to beat em up! and cuz they are from earth, they have 3x the power as mars people as mars has 1/3rd the gravity as earth! Its also a beat em up on sega and snes and theres like 4 characters to play as with different abilities.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Review

note; if I spelled good it woul;dnt be as fun
invasion of the body snatacers
this is my review on invasion of the body snatchers (50s version)
that title sounds like a necro p0rn0
not that theres anything wrong with dat
this is the 21st century
after the title and credits on A CLOUDY SKY, (ewww widescreen) its night and people go 2 da hospital
this guy is locked up for being crazy
he sez hes not nuts and is a dr
he looks like Stephan king in creepshow
he starts telling his story in flashback
he talks with a nurse on the way to work about some cr-p
at a closed vegetable stand some kids freak out
this chick is said to have said only the main guy can help her
at the dr place the chick who wanted to see him don't show
until hes gonna have lunch
she sez her cousin thinks her uncle is an imposter
they we love or something b4 but she married a guy
I dnt really care about this cr-p
get 2 da horror
later a kid comes in freaked out that his mom is an imposter
the main guy gives him drugs
he sez the kid should stay at his grammas place
later he tells the chick from b4 who worried about her uncle that it is her uncle
she sez theres something different she cant describe
he has all the memories but not the same feeling
sounds like it might be his Ki
main guy sez its not possible for him to be not the uncle
she fears shes going mad but he suggests getting help
he sez theres not much he can do about it and goes to a movie or something
he talks to a shrink and the shrink sez its mass hysteria
he makes out with the chick hes with after
I dont know if its the nurse or other chick
they go to a restaurant but business is cr-ppy
dr gets a call to go back
they both go to some ho
me and its said no ones sick
they say; u gotta c it 2 believe it
just tell him!!
its a guy on a pool table
they don't know who it is
his face seems like a prototype or something
like a base forme b4 being modified into a new thing
also he has no fingerprints
ts 5'10 140lbs
like a guy she knows named jack
the guy wit em who just cut his hand
its been over 20 mins and nothings happened
]main guy tells jack to watch the body ad if it nothing happens, call da cops
if it moves, call him
they leave
yeah, leave a guy alone with a body turning into him
that'll end well
he aes the chick home and her dad was in the basement
later the body starts awakening
and its got a hand cut
and it turned into jack
weird, I was just watching RE cutey honey today
she tells the main guy and main guy tells someone
wait, main guy was da one called
he realizes the dad was up to something and goes to the chicks place
instead of ringing the bell, he breaks a window and enters
he lights a match and looks around
he finds a nude body looking like the chick
if this were evangelion he'd j-rk off on it
candy a55 shinji was thinking of kaworu
he sneaks up to her room and she don't wake up
so he carries her out
note how her arms are holding on to her
later he meets the gang and he's awake
at jacks place the body is gone and the cop says its just a dead guy
he sez the fingerprints were taken off by acid
and everyone was hallucinating
thy check the chick's place and theres nothing there
the cop sez he only thinks he saw it
the dad comes down and so does the cops
another cop sez he found the body in a burning haystack
the next day the main guy cooks breakfast with the chick
the gas man makes a sound in the basement
then another guy comes in and I don't know if hes the main guy or not
they look too similar
later the main guy talks to the uncle chick and she sez se ok now
she goes inside and sez the chick is still at his home
howd he know she said dat?
also the kid who feared his mom is ok
at night hes having a dinner thing and n a greenhouse a plant poops out a foamy person
more are doing it
jaCK wants to waste em but the main guy sez theres no danger til its fully formed
and something about being asleep
and the original bodies are destroyed after the fakes come in
why not waste em now B4 they take over?!
the main guy calls the f bi but they don't answer
in the greenhouse the bodies take shape
howd he know about dat? he wasn't there
l a connections on the phone is off
as is sacramento
he tells the gang to book it and hes gonna stay behind to make sure if the phone rings that they know hes not out
he pitchforks the bodies and books it
later he tries a payphone at a gas station
he notices the gas guy doing something with his trunk
he and the chick book it and he checks the trunk
its got pods in it
so he torches em
he checks another house and it people have a pod
he is confronter by a guy but fights his way out
they drive away but the cops put out an APB on his a55
he ditches is car at a car lot and they go to his office
I just realized that this means the kid afraid of his mom got iced
hard core
like Halloween III
they hide in his office and take pills to stay awake
they talk about how being human inside is important
later they worry about jack and the phone rings
they ignore it
they notice the town is 2 busy for 7 45 am
then people gather and farm trucks get pods in
they say to bring it to their distant familys
the are gonna leave but jack returns
hes one of them
they wanna turn them
they say the pods came from space and started in a farmers field
as they sleep it sucks their brains and they reborm as them
they have no feelings or love
we get it. theyre commies/daemons
they try to convince them its ok and the guys don't consent
so thy leave saying theres no choice
realizing drugs are the answer as they dull the mind, main guy and the chick get needles
but drugs allow daemons to affect people irl
weakening our senses ad defences
he sneaks around and needles em
inject em with AIDS!
f, caps lock
they try to book t but da doorz locked
they leave the front door and act soulless
they fake their way past a cop but the DUMBA55 chick cries out to watchout  for a dog about to get run over
the cop goes up and they leave
she might as well have committed seppuku to distract the driver from the dog
the town chases em through the wild
they an abandoned mine
he finds a place under boards to hide
they get under just as the guys arrive
they check the tunnel but leave
the main guy and chick hear music and he guy goes to see it
he finds a truck being loaded with pods
he goes back and finds her nearly asleep
if the don't have emotion then why ot fight them with super emotion?
like love
as in
maeking love!
he carries her and kisses her but she turns
she tries o win him over but he refuses so she sez; hes in here!!
so he books it
wait, I thought the pods replaced people
not turned em
they chase him but let him go thinking they'll never believe him
he runs in traffic and warns people but they think hes drunk
one truck has pods
he sez to the cam; they're here already! ur next!!
then back in the hospital he's telling em hes not nuts
A DR brings in a body crushed under giant seed pods coming from the town the guy was from
he calls for something to be done
the end
that wasnt bad
kinda slow but it got better as it went on
plus it warns of communism
for invasion of the body snatchers 2 i'd like for there to be a war between the fake people and real people. they blow apart the fake people but find b0ning can turn em back to normal. so the main guy from the 1st film goes through endless fake people b0ning them to get to the chick he likes to turn her back. also its animated and the fake people can take on monster forms and fight like tentacle plants

Monday, March 20, 2017

The Night Of The Hunter Review

ote; most people cant read so my bad spelling don't matter
the night of the hunter
this is my review on the nibht of the hunter
its got Robert mitchum and lilian gish
its directed by Charles laughton who was the brit in mutany on the bounty
and the freak in the hunchback of notre dame
ooh, its by mgm
it starts with a night sky and fantastic music with kids singing and text on screen
reminds me of the twilight zone
then lilian gish reads kids the bible
warning about faulse prophets
then some kids playing find a body
this is how law and order eps start
gish reads from the bible how good trees cant make bad fruits and vice versa
then mitchum playing a preacher casually talks top the Lord while driving
hes a serial killer
this reminds me of nat turner or other bible misusers
then mitchum goes to watch a strpper
hes picked up for jacking a car and sentenced to 30 days
he tries to use his preacher status to get off easy
nowadays theyd give him extra punishment for being religious
elsewhere these kids are playing and their dad comes home
he gives em 10 000 $ and tells his son to not tell where the cash is
he makes him promise not to tell
the cops take him down in front of his son
maybe if he was a better dad his kids wouldn't grow up to be traumatized
he gets hanged for killing the people he jacked the dough from
in prison he talks in his sleep and mitchum hears the bible verse "and the little child shall lead em"
he confesses to mitchum he stole cuz hes tired of seeing kids go hungary
mitchum tells him he's use the 10 000 $ for good
also hes got a s witchblade in jail
after the dad is hanged, its revealed he never told where the money was
a guard feels bad about watching him get hung
its implied this is in da 30s like to kill a mocking bird
the kids at school sing hing hang hung
I think they were tormenting the main kids
that's kinda horrid
the kids stop going to school
nowadays they ice the kids who tortured em
people want the mom to remarry
as kids need a mom and a dad
later the boy tells the girl a story of a prince whos king dad gave him gold but he had to waste anyone who tried to take it
then mitchum comes by
we see his shadow in the window
realy good shadow effects
is this a horror movie?
later the bro is looking after the girl on a steam boat in the river
the boat guy sez this guy knew his dad in prison
at moms job at the candy store mitchums tells them he worked for prison and said he was with the dad
mitchum shows a story about love and hate and why they are tattooed on his left/right hands
he puts on a show saying hes got their best interests at heart ad lays a nice guy
but the boy don't trust him
the mom suspects somethings up with the boy
the townsfolk want her to marry the mitchum
mitchum sez to the fam the dad hid the 10 000 at the bottom of the river
I like the gray colors and light/shadow effects
it reminds me of vampyr from the early 30s
he eventually wins over the mom and agrees to marry him
the son knows the mitchum wants to know where the cash is but he wont spill
the sister likes the mitchum but the son tells her she swore not to tell
they marry but mitchum don't wanna b0ne the mom
he gets more stern and domineering
he tells her b0ning is for making kids and she shouldn't be used for lust
good point
but they married!
dontcha know? married people are supposed to b0ne!
that's the whole point of getting married!
I mean yeah if u don't want kids, don't b0ne
actually his logic works
he married her to help her raise kids
not make more
nowadays he'd be seen as the bad guy for it
at a service she seems to repent for driving her husband to sin
ad sez how she got him to throw the dough in the river
good point
that's a f--king lie!
later the sister is playing withy the 10 000 $
the bro gets her to put it away
but the mitchum arrives
they get it away b4 he sees it
good close call
mitchum confronts the son about him outing that mitchum asked about the cash
he sez the mom will believe him
the mom deals with the son for "lying"
I went to get my chicken wins but I don't hink I missed much
mitchum gets physical with the girl (i'll tear ur at off) for not telling him
the mom sez the money is still with em
so the mitchim goes at her with a switch blade and
scene changes to the kids later
later the mitchum sez she ran off
he also sez she was the one who refused to b0ne
and she was drinking dandylion wine
later we see her in a car underwater
a fisherman finds her
mitchum looks for the kids but they plan to book it
in it is a cool shot of mitchum walking to the house and the screen iris focus's toward a window where the kids are looking
the kids hide but they come up when a moms co worker comes by
the fisherman(boat guy) sez to a picture of his woman that if he told anyone they'd think he did it
also her neck was sliced like a 2nd mouth
mitchum interrogates the kids and they say the dough is in the basement
in there mitchum nearly butchers the boy like a hog to get where the cash is
the girl sez its her doll
they knock a shelf on the mitchum and lock him in the basement
they run to the boat guys but he's drunk
so they escape in a boat on the river
mitchum sends a letter to the store the mom worked at and sez he took the kids to spend time with his sister
mitchum jacks a guys horse and we get a montage of them going on
the girl sings a song about a family of flys relating to their thing
theres good shots of night sky and animals in the foreground with kids in the background
its like the 20s be hur or king of kings
at one point the kids stop at a barn but when mitchum goes by, they book it
why not wait and let him pass em so hes looking where they aint?
they are found and taken in by the kid yet bada66 lilian gish
gish has a buncha kids already
later gish tells the kids the story of how pharaoh's daughter found baby Moses in the river
its like how gish found the kids in the boat
THE BOY ISNT VERY EXACT IN TELLING WHERE (f caps lock) they came from
mitchum meets the teen girl who lives with gish and reveals the kids have a doll
later the teen reveals to gish she wasnt going to sewing lessons but was out with(b0ning?) men
gish reveals her son hates her and now she loves these kids
also about how mitchum wants the kids
later mitchum comes by and tries to give excuses about how the kids are his and his other lies about the fam
the son reveals hes lying and when he goes after the boy with a switchblade, gish freekin gets her shotgun and drives his a55 off!
at night (in realy good light/shadow effects)mitchum sings "leaning, leaning, safe and secure in your arms" and gish sings "lean on Jesus" as she sits guard with her trusty shotgun
good thing the liberals didn't take her gun or whey'd be iced
gish watches a own get a rabbit
she tells the kids of how whe herod tried to kill Jesus, His rents booked it to Egypt
mitchum gets in but gish gets him away with her shtgun
its pretty f'd up and bada55 how he pops in and runs out screaming
the calls are coming from inside the house!!
she calls the cops and they take down mitchum
seeing him arrested give e boy viet nam flashbacks and he breaks down hitting
the doll on him and saying "take it! I don't want it"!
on trial the boy cant tell anything as hes f';d up
the tow reveals mitchum had 25 wives and call him bluebeard(who if you look up, fits as hes not a pirate)
later the town decides to lynch mitchum and gets an angry mob together
I think they hassle the gish fam but they get away
we don't see if the people lynch mitchum
later its Christmas and the boy brings gish an apple in a cloth and shes happy
she says a thing about how children are special and beautiful(good pro life message?) and she gives the teen the jewelry thing she wanted
the boy gets a watch and gish says something about how kids are special
the end
that was a good film
I liked it
reminds me of 20s films
plus its quite American in its themes
I like how gish is a loving Christian who is bad a55
nowadays she's be a feminist or something awful
for the night of the hunter 2 i'd like for mitchum to return and reveal he got someone else to get lynched by swapping faces with him. he meets up with Nickola tesla and as tesla experiment on him to make him stronger and faster and tougher than ever b4 by replacing his bones and muscles with machine cr-p. he escapes tesla's shop and goes after the kids (now teens) for revenge. the kids (now teens) have bee training in holy ways and can use positive ki to fight back with beams or charging their bodies to increase strength. they have several battles over the film with most ending inconclusive as something interrupts em like an earthquake or tsunami or tornado or fire. also its a 16 bit sega genesis game also on snes and gba and it has 3 characters(thr guy the chick and gish who uses a gun like in contra) with them going through levels in America and the boss in each level is mitchum in a new forme fitting the level theme.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The Gold Rush Review

note; I hope ur used to my bad writing by now. cuz I aint chainging
the gold rush
this is my review on da gold rush(1920s ver)
its by Charlie chaplain
he did some grand films
although I felt Harold Lloyd made me smile more
I loved a sailor made man
but I cried during city lights
such pure emotion
Charlie was more into meaningful heartfelt films while Harold did more epic stunts
buster Keaton did more tricks and awesome dangerous cr=p while I'm not sure how to classify roscoe Arbuckle
I also saw Klondike by ridley scott where people went up north for gold and most of em bit it
after the credits say who plays what, it also sez the music was by Charlie in da 40z reissue
a title card describes how the gold rush of the 1980s I man 1890s s-cked
people swarmed for fortune but they didn't know how awful it was
at chilkoot pass people climb single file up a mountail
elsewhere the lone prospector(the tramp) comically walks on thre heights of a icy mountain
a bear follows him
hope it don't b0ne him
elsewhere is another guy who looks tough
his name is big jim and he found an a55load of gold
the tramp goes around in an icy field and uses a compass drawn on paper
he finds a marker for j(I forget his name) sourdough who bit it in 98
big jim is apparently wanted and has posters for him
his tent blows away in a storm and te tramp finds an empty cabin
this is how horror movies start
he finds a bone with a bit of meat on it and eats
is that human??
big jim cmes in and tells him to get out
when he opens the door, the wind blows him back
its not big jim
he kicks the tramp out but after some loney toons style back and forth, tramp wins
big jim comes in and nearly eats the tramps hand while eating meat on a bone
is this cannibal?
the cabin guy returns has a gun
he struggles with big jim over it as the tramp triesd to get away from the business end
but they struggle and it keeps aiming at him
they all stay inside for a few days as its an endless blizzard
they run low on food and the tramp eats a candle
big jim(I think) comes in and for a sec it looks like he ate the dog
but he didn't
to get food they cut a deck of cards to see who goes out in the storm
I think big jim goes out
also cops are after big jim and in a tent in the storm
he encounters a cop outside and ices him
and the other
they call him black Larson
I think that's who I thought big jim was
at the cabin the tramp cooks a shoehim and the real big jim eat it
reminds me of the dreams I have about me eating plastic
later black Larson (which sounds like a Yugioh card or jrpg item name) fids big jims gold claim
at the cabin, big jim is hungry and imagines the tramp as a chicken
chicken boo?(from animaniacs)
if u gotta at, ja gotta eat!
he tries to ice the tramp but sees him as a non chicken again in time to pull back
he decides to eat him anyway and they have a Scooby doo style chase
as black Larson eats bacon, big jim and tramp try to kill and eat eachother
then the big black bear comes in
in some scenes its a real bear
in others a guy in a suit
the ap it offfscrean and eat it offscreen
must be because bear isn't kosher
later they part ways
big jim returns to his gold site but black Larson is there
they fight and blarck larso wastes him with a shovel
I assume he eats him too
no sense to waste all that meat
hes still alive
he wakes up later
also I think an avalanche wastes black Larson
in a small mountain town is a chick named Georgia
the tramp cashes in his gold at a place
at a dance Georgia has photos of herself but a guy takes the hottest one for a few secs
the tramp arrives but cant find a girl
it looks like Georgia wants to dance with him but its really the but behind him
later she sez she wants to meet someone worth while
tramp finds her hot photo kinda busted up
hope he don't j-rk off to it
the photo grabber flirts with her but she turns him down
btw shes wearing a sleeveless dress that shows her armpits
too hot for 1925
to get away from him she dances with the tramp
he keeps pulling his pants up as they are baggy like a 1990s black guy(or white guy who wants to be black)
he gets a big dog leash caught in his pants(I think from using it as a belt) and it pulls him around
the photo guy hassles the chick again but she shows him her armpit ad leaves
then he intimidates the tramp for getting in his at
he pulls the traps hat over his face and tramp swings
he hits a wall but it makes a clock fall on the guy and brain damage him
the tramp thinks he slugged him out
later the tramp fakes being frozen to get a gy to give him breakfast
big jim cant recall the situation cuz of his head bashing and wanders around
the breakfast guy named hank hired tramp to look after the cabin while hes out
Georgia stops by and reunites with the tramp
while there she finds he saved her picture and a flower or w/e she gave him
also her female friends are with her
he accidentally sets his foot and chair o fire but puts it out
they agree to have dinner together
for new years
he gets excited and busts up the cabin in celebration
I assume that's 1920s censorship for j-rkin off
t make cash for the dinner he shovels snow
but each time he shovels 1 door, the snow goes to another
he sets up a good diner and a big a55 donkey comes in and eats a candle
later the chicks arrive and he does a little dance using forks as legs and dinner rolls as feet
the simpsons parodied this
wait, that was a dream
at midknght everyone celebrates and Georgia is with the rest of the town partying
and the photo guy
the tramp is bummed
he's either gonna cut himself or shoot the place up
wait, that's degrassi
the chicks and photo guy decide to go see the tramp
he leaves and checks the party
the chick Georgia se to the photo guy she loves him
they plan to play a prank on him but hes gone
the friends leave but the photo guy wants a kiss and she don't consent
in the real version I think he tried to b0ne her
later big jim sez he has a lotta gold but cant recall where
but if he can find the cabin he can find his way back to it
seems legit
Georgia sends a sorry note saying she loves him to the tramp
she gives a note to the photo guy but he don't care
photo guy f's with the tramp
he gives the note to a guy to give to the tramp but don't say who its from(and its signed goerga)
wait, she loves the photo guy?
big a55 jim comes in and tells tramp to bring him to the cabin to get the gold
tamp sez to georga he got her note and is gonna make good
jim and tramp go to the cabin and jim draws a map
at night the wind blows and the cabin is blown around
it winds up on a cliff edge
tramp wakes up and moves things around and it makes the cabin tilt like that level in Castlevania bloodlines
they f around to se how it tilts
tramp goes outside and nearly falls off the cliff
the cabin falls but a rope gets caught on rocks and holds it at a tilt
jim tries to get to the upper edge of the cabin by climbing o tramp
why not use the wall?
he gets out and finds his gold claim right where the cabin is
he gets the tramp a rope and he climbs out as the cabin falls like in a sonic level
how'd they do that?
it looks almoist real
later they're millionaires
big jim and a fur coat like a p-mp
under the tramps coat is a fur coat
I think they became p-mps
but tramp misses georia
shes also on the boat
tram gets back into his 1st clothes as they are comfier and gets his photo taken
but falls on his a55 down the stairs
and reuites with georiga
she's also in a fur coat
is she a p-mp?
the captain thinks the tarmp is a stowaway cuz he's dressed like a hobo
she offers to pay his fair but tramps homies reveal hes a millionare
he otta have that guy whipped for that
they go up the stairs and get a photo together
he makes out with her and the guy sez they "spoiled the picture"
sounds like hes heterophobic
the end
that was wonderful
the ending was bliss
heart and love
with good humor
we love u Charlie
for the gold rush 2 i'd like for it to be a ww1 film with big jim and the tramp supporting the kaizer and tramp has a son with Georgia who is an ace in the war. its the son's story of getting lost in the mountains and finding some ancient hidden area with mammoths that he uses to help the Austrians fight off the brits(who are depicted in here with black eyes and gray skin and have fangs and claws and practice cannibalism at the slightest opportunity to show they are the bad guys)

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Grease Review

note; I spell like I talk; badly
this is my review on grease
its got jon travolta and Olivia newton john
why not Elton john, or john waters, or john holmes or john wayne gacy?
it starts with Travolta and Olivia on the beach being romantic in a clean way
she had a good summor with him but now has to go baCK TO AUSTRANLIA
then the credits happen with a weird animated thing
looks better than cg
its called grease as Travolta greases his hair
its set in da 50s when things were cleaner ANd more wholesome
after the 60s it was all downhill until the 80s with he man, transformers and Robotech
its the 1st day of high school and travolda and his homie kenicky (k man) was working during the summer so buy some car
Travolta spent the summer with a blonde and in another part of the same school that blonde just arrived
also is this female gang who seem like 80s tough chicks
after getting owned by a teacher the Travolta gag (the t burdz) hassle this nerd
in the anouncements they say NationAL bandstand is gonna have a live thing contest from the school's gym later
Olivia makes friends with the 80s chix
this perky chick comes in saying shes gonna run for student president
the 80s chix think Olivia is too pure for em
after hassling the jocks and on of em looking up chicks long skirts, the t burds sing about travoltas summer romance (him implying he b0ned)
at the same time the chicks sing about olivias p o v which is more innocent
after the song she reveals it was travolda who was her summer love
also she sez he never b0ned her
at night theres a football game and its revealed they s-cked for 7 seasons
sounds like Yugioh after zexal
the t brrdz imitate the  stooges
k man gets a cr-ppy car and wants to tune it up
also another gang (the scorpions(double dragon 2 gb?)(Hokuto no ken filler?)) stop by I their black car with flames
traolta reunites with oivia but  talks like pee wee herman to be cool infront of his friends
she goes mental over it for some reason(srs wtf. he didn't
even say anything bad. its like 4 sentences of 50s slang)
the bimbo of the 80s chix comforts her by bashing men (feminism?!) and invites her over to a sleep over
this is how p0rn0es start
at the slumber party they smoke and drink wine
they get Olivia to do so too
they're corrupting her!
1 chick gets a thumb tack and pierces her ears
this is like a bad 80s thing
the bimbo decides to dropout and get a job
the leader of the 80s chicks (Rizzo)mocks olivieas innocence in song
they also reference 50s celebs
then the t burdz come by and riz goes out the window to meet them
Travolta leaves and k man kicks out the other droogs to go off with Rizzo
theyre gonna b0ne
Olivia sings about being bummed about Travolta not being the kinda guy she thought he was
but shes still gay for him
this goes on for a while
we get it
u still want him
move on!
k man and Rizzo make out and he stops to get something
but its broken
what is it?!
they decide to b0ne and are hassled by the scorpion guy in the black car who bangs his car against the k mans car and mocks it
at the garage the t burds look over the car and sing about how it can be "greased lightning"
they sing abut car terms and how the car will get the chicks to b0ne em
so much for the 50s being wholesome
they have a phantasy about the car being a red Ferrari mustang or w/e with a buncha guys in grease mokey suits dancing
later the scorpios harass the town like bikers in violence jack oav 3
at an icecream place the t burds chat and hang out
I prefer the juice bar in power rangers
the perky chick comes on to Travolta and he ignores her and chats with olivcia
he sez sorry about being "terrible" but shes it a big buff blonde guy (like shuwartzu negataro from Kekko kamen(srs he looks just like him))
to compete with him Travolta tries to do sports at high school
the coach advises him to cut down on smokes and wear less leather
in basketball he s-cked at it
he dribbles kinda prissy and slugs a guy for blocking him
then he tries wrestling
but is easily overpowered by a bigger buffer blonder man
then he socks the guy in he abdomen after the match
at baseball hes cr-ppy too
the coach suggests track
while running he looks at olivia and trips over a hurdle
in high school gym class we did track and i copied what hitomi did in escaflowne for the long jump. it helped.
also for archery i copied what kagome did in inuyasha and did well.
maybe he can try archery
nah he'd probably open fire on several people
Olivia reconciles with him and they go out on a date to the ice cream place
he orders a load of food and so does she
she can eat
sounds like my plus size gf
once we split a bucket of kfc
I had 6 pieces, she had 4
and shes like a small sailor scout chick
then their homies stop by and crash the date
the dance off is coming
one by one they all leave
Rizzo goes mental and throws a milksake in k mans face
wat a b-ch
the bimbo talks to a waitress and reveals she f'd up her beauty school class and now has candy colored pink hair
sounds like an anime or 80s chick
or lola in degrassi
she says she needs a guardian angel (joan in attack mode)
a 50s star sings to her in a phantasy about her s-cking
he sez she should go back to high school
later its the dance thing and rizzo brings a scorpion to the dance
they dance to 50s rock ad it looks good
better than Saturday night live
I mean fever
btw Travolta wears a pink shirt
in the 80s that would be cool
1 guy brings a mexicany chick who Travolta b0ned b4
the dance host talks to a busty chick in a tube top names marty maraschino
that sounds like a p0rn0 name
Travolta tries to brush off his knowing the Mexican chick
the televised dance contest  is gonna start
the rules
1; only boy/girl couples
nowadays that would be see as hate for some reason
2; if tapped on shoulder; gtfo
nowadays that is banned as it counts as assault
3; anything offensive moves are banned
nowadays that would be seen as infringing on their right to be purvurts
after an elvis song they start the budokai
they sing the song "hand jive"
I assume dat means j-rkin off
during it, the Mexican chick shows off her thighs and theres various b0ning like dance moves
Travolta and Olivia do some horse roping moves like in gangnam style
somehow Travolta winds up dancing with the Mexican chick and it gets kinda pg16
Olivia books it
Travolta and the mexican chick win and have a dance
tis reminds me of prom night 2
during the song "blue moon" the t burds show their bare a55es to the camera
imagine if the scorpions jumped in and b0ned em
the next day the princilple sez the fbi is going over the a55es and gonna give em a federal charge for showing a55
later at a drive in Travolta sez sorry for dancing with the Mexican chick
he gives her his ring (is that a promise ring?) and she likes him again
later Rizzo thinks shes preggo and tells marty
marty spreads word like aids
by the time she gets to her car, k man knows and talks to her about it
she sez its not his
in the car Travolta tries to b0ne Olivia but she doesn't consent and runs off
Travolta sings about how he feels bad about her leaving him after attempted raepe
when did this turn into Saturday night live?
I mean Saturday night fever
same thing
also as he sings we see the movie adds playing and a hotdog jumps into a bun
does this mean he tried to go in her a55?
this movie is f'd up
later the at "greased lightning"is ready to have a death match against the scorpions black fire car
k ma sez how Travolta is his number 1 homie and makes him his 2nd in command cuz he saw it in a movie
they hug then realize how it looks and play it cool
Olivia sez to Rizzo she is there for her and Rizzo sez the school is talking about her being preggo
the perky chick walks by with chix and sez; dats da 1 I waz talkin about!
Rizzo sigs about how its better for her to go around b0ning guys
back when I went to high school no one got pregnant
no one I new b0ned
no one was queer (although 1 guy I knew turned afterwards)
no one was mo les ted
we were clean and decent
and dat was da 00s
when degrassi next gen had all that
later at thunder road(not thumderdome) the scorpions race the t burfs
winner gets the others car
k man gets brain damaged banging his skull on a car door picking up a penny so Travolta has to drive
the white lightening car vs the black fire car
sounds like red eyes blac dragon vs blue eyes white dragon
or reshiram vs zekrom
they race and the black car has a SAW DRILL LIKE IN BEN HUR AND CUTS UP the white car
this is like da 80s
they race and Travolta wins
blue eyes bring power but red eyes brings potential to those with the courage to unlock it
Olivia sez she needs to restart and do something to win travolya
she goes with the bimbo for a make over
later they're graduating
was that a whole high school year?
what is this? harry potter?
they have a carnival
the t birds flunked phys ed and have summer school to graduate
they throw pies at the coach but s-ck
the nerd who was in like 2 scenes in the whole movie nails the coach and is praised by the coach
Rizzo reveals she wasn't pregnant after all
travlta has gone jock and letter in track
he wants to win Olivia back
Olivia comes in wearing a leather outfit and smoking
Travolta sings the song from family guy about "give up the toad" with her
Travolta gets a b0ner for her and follows her like a slave
this is like a p0rn0
they sing about him having to improve to be man enough for her
I assume they were b0ning I the real version
in one scene the t burds are in front of cut outs of various humorous images
paired guy/girl
except one guy with a dog
so that's his orientation
not that theres anything wrong with that
they wonder what to do about graduation
travlta sez they're always be together
then they sing some 50s gibberish and gang synchro dance
also k man and Rizzo made up
then travlta and Rizzo I mean Olivia drive off in the red Ferrari mustang and I think it flies off like the idea tommy wiseau had
the credits are done like a high school year book
the end
ooh, frankie Avalon and eddie deezen were in this
frankie was in pee wees xmas and eddie was in dexters lab
that was pretty well done
kinda dirty with its themes and characters and content
I thought the 50s were wholesome
then again this is made in da 70s
for grease 2 i'd like for it to be the 60s and j fk has not only legalized all drugs and removed all laws related to b0ning, but has declaired war on Australia as they refuse to decriminalize animal b0ning. the gang is drafter (even the women as j fk wants women to fight to be "gender balanced" instead of having the best one for the job) the war goes badly for America as j fk's drug induced decisions lead to massive failure so he lowers the draft age to 12 (as well as the age of consent). the t birds, and chicks are married and have kids but both them and their kids are drafted into fighting Australia(which is a conflict for olvia newton john as her family is from there) but she is threatened with getting her arms and legs removed and used for animals to b0ne if she refuses(to make an example out of her to deter other dissenters). eventually they one by one get blown apart and are all pieced together into one massive flesh golem construct to fight the austrailians (who bust the cybernetic controls implanted in them that force them to fight) and they switch sides to beat j fk and his deviant ambitions to b0ne everyone on earth into submission