Friday, March 24, 2017

The X From Outer Space Review

note; I'm reading subs and looking back to type this. don't expect much
the x from outer space
this is my review on the x from outer space
its also called Uchū Daikaijū Girara?, Giant Space Monster Guilala
it starts with credits about constellations and singing about da urth
so these Japanese guys wanna go to mars but ufos are f'ing em up
and they have a super nucular spaceship
also theres a blonde with bad hair whos into biology or something
their spaceship is called da astro boat
sounds like astroboy
as they go to take off a guy flirts with lisa the blonde
they laugh
they launch and their rocket opens like a banana and a space ship comes out
they have anti gravity but its turned off
lisa was not right from it
I think she floated out of her bra
back on urth da head guys talk about how it wasn't the machines fault the missions failed
but ufos and magnetic cr-p
1 suggests its something controlled by earth
in space they meet a ufo
1 guy on board ha his pedriod or something and ist well
hes the dr
lol a vhs taepe on the control panel
they go after the ufo
but it disappears so they go to da moon
they contact the moon base and talk to michiko but he's p-ssed
my cabe went out for a bit but I do t think I missed much
when it came back they were getting off the astro boat on da moon
the dr goes to get checked on and he has spaCE SICKNESS
f caps clock
the rest eat and there big apples that taste cr-ppy
lisa gives michiko earings from Germany
its widescreen
I just noticed
outside they jump around in low gravity and the guys take a bath in water made outta moon elemetnts
michiko and lisa take showers
in both cases we don't see anything
the dr is replaced by dr stein on da MOON
stein don't like it
they leave the moon
on the trip 2 marz they deal with asteroids
the ship ets a hole and ai sucks out
lisa barely gets get helmet on
on urth they say these radio interference
they're almost at the part where other missions ended
after fixing the air problem, the ufo returns
it pulls em with a tractor beam
captain cuts the engine to save fuel as its pointless to keep it on but stein tries to throttle it
the crew stops him
the ufo leaves
1 guy notices something on the ship and is gonna go out
but lisa goes instead
oh, he goes 2
they collect cr-p on the rocket
turns out the ufo lwft cr-p on em and went to mars
the reactor is at half power
a moon vehicle goes after em and gets there quick
its michiko
not michiko Yamane from Castlevania/contra/rocket knight
or michiko neya who as new cutey honey
they bring back the cr-p from the rocket and it wont be complete until its exosed to their atmosphere
so much 4 mars
later the cr-p ha burned through the floor using laser rays
they also find a footprint
also voltage is going down
theres blackouts
they a giant rubber suit monster bursts outta the ground in smoke and h-llfire
the next day the gang investigate ad find a footprint like the one in the lab
only huge
what were they doing for the last 12 hours??
and where did the thing go?
turns ut, its going to Tokyo
lisa sez the material left by the creature and the rocket cr-p is the same
they call it; guilala
japan sends tanks but they do jack
It fireballs them
so in come the jets
they do squat
it looks like team America
it busts em and a jumbo jet
we get news stories from all over the world
the army tries lasers but they don't do anything
guilala picks up a tanker boat and chucks it into a power plant
is this where the boat in the building in Hokuto no ken the movie came from?
lisa sez they need to use a vacuum to make a substance like guilala\s shell
the gang and michiko decide to go to space and do it
they go to the moon
and they reuse the same footage as the ship coming out of the banana thing as b4
meanwhile guilala busts a55 on earth
the next day guilala is still going
doesn't he sleep?!
in space they made a lotta guilalalium and head back
they try contacting earth but something jamming their communications
lisa drops something and finds this metal case has a high reading of something
they need something to lessen the guilalanliums something or they cant get back to earth
they need to put it in the reactor
the ufo attcks earth and busts up a lotta things
its guilala and he's absorbed nucular power
it busts into water and goes back to its monster forme
the base sez guilala might head for em cuz they got some nucular thing
the astro boat heads back but he ufo attacks
they return and get out but the base is attacked by guilala and busted up
lisa is stuck under a metal thing and her legs are stuck
they get her out ad michiko tends to her legs
guilala is heading for em and the others are getting the guilalalium ready
its nucular cr-p
they lure guilala away with it
this musta been fun to film
better than cr-ppy a66 cgi
guilala eventually grabs the nucular thing and the guys fall off and the car crashes and brusts into flames
the nly way to stop him with enriched nucular power, is to spray him with guilalalium
lisa and michiko get to the guys who lured away guilala and 1 guy only has a sprained ankle form falling dozens of feet
the jets fight guilala and he fights back
the guilalaium coats him in white paste
everyone returns and guilala turns into j-zz and shrinks
lisas gonna grabs it but uses tongs to put it in a container
lisa sez guilala cant be finished on earth and might recover
so they decide to send it back to space
they send it to space and a guy asks is lisa told another guy how she feels
love takes courage and she sez guilala taught her that he loves someone else
well that came from nowhrer
michiko and the guy lisa likes talk about where guilala is going and walk together as a love song plays
btw the shot where guilala turned to foam looked like the ending part of trog
the film ends with the rocket with guilala going to space
the end
that was pretty good
I liked it better than shin godzilla
good effects even if cheesy
I like how there wasn't a tacked on sad moment in it
for the x from outer space 2 i'd like it if they sent another mission to mars and this time had back up with a cloaking device and took out the ufo that f;d em every time b4. they get to mars and its got guilala creatures living there but they are smaller cuz of the less gravity. also they are planning to use an Interplanetary ray to turn people on earth into their slaves and they were only attacking ships that went to mars to prevent them from finding out about em. so the new team sent to mars has to beat em up! and cuz they are from earth, they have 3x the power as mars people as mars has 1/3rd the gravity as earth! Its also a beat em up on sega and snes and theres like 4 characters to play as with different abilities.

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