Sunday, March 12, 2017

Grease Review

note; I spell like I talk; badly
this is my review on grease
its got jon travolta and Olivia newton john
why not Elton john, or john waters, or john holmes or john wayne gacy?
it starts with Travolta and Olivia on the beach being romantic in a clean way
she had a good summor with him but now has to go baCK TO AUSTRANLIA
then the credits happen with a weird animated thing
looks better than cg
its called grease as Travolta greases his hair
its set in da 50s when things were cleaner ANd more wholesome
after the 60s it was all downhill until the 80s with he man, transformers and Robotech
its the 1st day of high school and travolda and his homie kenicky (k man) was working during the summer so buy some car
Travolta spent the summer with a blonde and in another part of the same school that blonde just arrived
also is this female gang who seem like 80s tough chicks
after getting owned by a teacher the Travolta gag (the t burdz) hassle this nerd
in the anouncements they say NationAL bandstand is gonna have a live thing contest from the school's gym later
Olivia makes friends with the 80s chix
this perky chick comes in saying shes gonna run for student president
the 80s chix think Olivia is too pure for em
after hassling the jocks and on of em looking up chicks long skirts, the t burds sing about travoltas summer romance (him implying he b0ned)
at the same time the chicks sing about olivias p o v which is more innocent
after the song she reveals it was travolda who was her summer love
also she sez he never b0ned her
at night theres a football game and its revealed they s-cked for 7 seasons
sounds like Yugioh after zexal
the t brrdz imitate the  stooges
k man gets a cr-ppy car and wants to tune it up
also another gang (the scorpions(double dragon 2 gb?)(Hokuto no ken filler?)) stop by I their black car with flames
traolta reunites with oivia but  talks like pee wee herman to be cool infront of his friends
she goes mental over it for some reason(srs wtf. he didn't
even say anything bad. its like 4 sentences of 50s slang)
the bimbo of the 80s chix comforts her by bashing men (feminism?!) and invites her over to a sleep over
this is how p0rn0es start
at the slumber party they smoke and drink wine
they get Olivia to do so too
they're corrupting her!
1 chick gets a thumb tack and pierces her ears
this is like a bad 80s thing
the bimbo decides to dropout and get a job
the leader of the 80s chicks (Rizzo)mocks olivieas innocence in song
they also reference 50s celebs
then the t burdz come by and riz goes out the window to meet them
Travolta leaves and k man kicks out the other droogs to go off with Rizzo
theyre gonna b0ne
Olivia sings about being bummed about Travolta not being the kinda guy she thought he was
but shes still gay for him
this goes on for a while
we get it
u still want him
move on!
k man and Rizzo make out and he stops to get something
but its broken
what is it?!
they decide to b0ne and are hassled by the scorpion guy in the black car who bangs his car against the k mans car and mocks it
at the garage the t burds look over the car and sing about how it can be "greased lightning"
they sing abut car terms and how the car will get the chicks to b0ne em
so much for the 50s being wholesome
they have a phantasy about the car being a red Ferrari mustang or w/e with a buncha guys in grease mokey suits dancing
later the scorpios harass the town like bikers in violence jack oav 3
at an icecream place the t burds chat and hang out
I prefer the juice bar in power rangers
the perky chick comes on to Travolta and he ignores her and chats with olivcia
he sez sorry about being "terrible" but shes it a big buff blonde guy (like shuwartzu negataro from Kekko kamen(srs he looks just like him))
to compete with him Travolta tries to do sports at high school
the coach advises him to cut down on smokes and wear less leather
in basketball he s-cked at it
he dribbles kinda prissy and slugs a guy for blocking him
then he tries wrestling
but is easily overpowered by a bigger buffer blonder man
then he socks the guy in he abdomen after the match
at baseball hes cr-ppy too
the coach suggests track
while running he looks at olivia and trips over a hurdle
in high school gym class we did track and i copied what hitomi did in escaflowne for the long jump. it helped.
also for archery i copied what kagome did in inuyasha and did well.
maybe he can try archery
nah he'd probably open fire on several people
Olivia reconciles with him and they go out on a date to the ice cream place
he orders a load of food and so does she
she can eat
sounds like my plus size gf
once we split a bucket of kfc
I had 6 pieces, she had 4
and shes like a small sailor scout chick
then their homies stop by and crash the date
the dance off is coming
one by one they all leave
Rizzo goes mental and throws a milksake in k mans face
wat a b-ch
the bimbo talks to a waitress and reveals she f'd up her beauty school class and now has candy colored pink hair
sounds like an anime or 80s chick
or lola in degrassi
she says she needs a guardian angel (joan in attack mode)
a 50s star sings to her in a phantasy about her s-cking
he sez she should go back to high school
later its the dance thing and rizzo brings a scorpion to the dance
they dance to 50s rock ad it looks good
better than Saturday night live
I mean fever
btw Travolta wears a pink shirt
in the 80s that would be cool
1 guy brings a mexicany chick who Travolta b0ned b4
the dance host talks to a busty chick in a tube top names marty maraschino
that sounds like a p0rn0 name
Travolta tries to brush off his knowing the Mexican chick
the televised dance contest  is gonna start
the rules
1; only boy/girl couples
nowadays that would be see as hate for some reason
2; if tapped on shoulder; gtfo
nowadays that is banned as it counts as assault
3; anything offensive moves are banned
nowadays that would be seen as infringing on their right to be purvurts
after an elvis song they start the budokai
they sing the song "hand jive"
I assume dat means j-rkin off
during it, the Mexican chick shows off her thighs and theres various b0ning like dance moves
Travolta and Olivia do some horse roping moves like in gangnam style
somehow Travolta winds up dancing with the Mexican chick and it gets kinda pg16
Olivia books it
Travolta and the mexican chick win and have a dance
tis reminds me of prom night 2
during the song "blue moon" the t burds show their bare a55es to the camera
imagine if the scorpions jumped in and b0ned em
the next day the princilple sez the fbi is going over the a55es and gonna give em a federal charge for showing a55
later at a drive in Travolta sez sorry for dancing with the Mexican chick
he gives her his ring (is that a promise ring?) and she likes him again
later Rizzo thinks shes preggo and tells marty
marty spreads word like aids
by the time she gets to her car, k man knows and talks to her about it
she sez its not his
in the car Travolta tries to b0ne Olivia but she doesn't consent and runs off
Travolta sings about how he feels bad about her leaving him after attempted raepe
when did this turn into Saturday night live?
I mean Saturday night fever
same thing
also as he sings we see the movie adds playing and a hotdog jumps into a bun
does this mean he tried to go in her a55?
this movie is f'd up
later the at "greased lightning"is ready to have a death match against the scorpions black fire car
k ma sez how Travolta is his number 1 homie and makes him his 2nd in command cuz he saw it in a movie
they hug then realize how it looks and play it cool
Olivia sez to Rizzo she is there for her and Rizzo sez the school is talking about her being preggo
the perky chick walks by with chix and sez; dats da 1 I waz talkin about!
Rizzo sigs about how its better for her to go around b0ning guys
back when I went to high school no one got pregnant
no one I new b0ned
no one was queer (although 1 guy I knew turned afterwards)
no one was mo les ted
we were clean and decent
and dat was da 00s
when degrassi next gen had all that
later at thunder road(not thumderdome) the scorpions race the t burfs
winner gets the others car
k man gets brain damaged banging his skull on a car door picking up a penny so Travolta has to drive
the white lightening car vs the black fire car
sounds like red eyes blac dragon vs blue eyes white dragon
or reshiram vs zekrom
they race and the black car has a SAW DRILL LIKE IN BEN HUR AND CUTS UP the white car
this is like da 80s
they race and Travolta wins
blue eyes bring power but red eyes brings potential to those with the courage to unlock it
Olivia sez she needs to restart and do something to win travolya
she goes with the bimbo for a make over
later they're graduating
was that a whole high school year?
what is this? harry potter?
they have a carnival
the t birds flunked phys ed and have summer school to graduate
they throw pies at the coach but s-ck
the nerd who was in like 2 scenes in the whole movie nails the coach and is praised by the coach
Rizzo reveals she wasn't pregnant after all
travlta has gone jock and letter in track
he wants to win Olivia back
Olivia comes in wearing a leather outfit and smoking
Travolta sings the song from family guy about "give up the toad" with her
Travolta gets a b0ner for her and follows her like a slave
this is like a p0rn0
they sing about him having to improve to be man enough for her
I assume they were b0ning I the real version
in one scene the t burds are in front of cut outs of various humorous images
paired guy/girl
except one guy with a dog
so that's his orientation
not that theres anything wrong with that
they wonder what to do about graduation
travlta sez they're always be together
then they sing some 50s gibberish and gang synchro dance
also k man and Rizzo made up
then travlta and Rizzo I mean Olivia drive off in the red Ferrari mustang and I think it flies off like the idea tommy wiseau had
the credits are done like a high school year book
the end
ooh, frankie Avalon and eddie deezen were in this
frankie was in pee wees xmas and eddie was in dexters lab
that was pretty well done
kinda dirty with its themes and characters and content
I thought the 50s were wholesome
then again this is made in da 70s
for grease 2 i'd like for it to be the 60s and j fk has not only legalized all drugs and removed all laws related to b0ning, but has declaired war on Australia as they refuse to decriminalize animal b0ning. the gang is drafter (even the women as j fk wants women to fight to be "gender balanced" instead of having the best one for the job) the war goes badly for America as j fk's drug induced decisions lead to massive failure so he lowers the draft age to 12 (as well as the age of consent). the t birds, and chicks are married and have kids but both them and their kids are drafted into fighting Australia(which is a conflict for olvia newton john as her family is from there) but she is threatened with getting her arms and legs removed and used for animals to b0ne if she refuses(to make an example out of her to deter other dissenters). eventually they one by one get blown apart and are all pieced together into one massive flesh golem construct to fight the austrailians (who bust the cybernetic controls implanted in them that force them to fight) and they switch sides to beat j fk and his deviant ambitions to b0ne everyone on earth into submission

1 comment:

  1. Very should do Hairspray (2007 version).I just saw that this is in gfun...