Friday, July 15, 2016

The Petrified Forest Review

note; I was up all night. theres typoes
the petrified forest
this is my review on the pwetrifierd forest
its got bogart and leslie howard
im not big on bogart
but I liked howartd
this is tv G??
but a few guys get capped!
ooh, bette davis is in this
she was the nasty hag in whatever happened to baby jane
but this was b54 she rotted
it starts with a guy walking in the wastelands
like Hokuto no ken
he eventually comes by a gas station
its just 2 guys in a car
its said its their last chance to ill up
the gas worker is playing football by himself
this jolly geezer talks about coming to the wasteland 56 years ago
he sez billy the kid opened fire at him as a joke
the geezer talks about telegraphs
one customer says sh-t against america so the head of the gas station kicks em out
oh and they mentioned a gangster
the gas owner has a daughter as bette davis who don't care for his pro america ways
oh and the gas owner was in the war
the football guy hits on the bette davis as she tries to read poetry
remember that kids show poetree?
that tree that did poems?
I saw like a few eps in da 90s
the football guy and the bette davis talk about love
he kisses her and the leslie howard comes by wantying something to eat
he don't knowwhat a bar b q is
freekin foreigner!
the place they live is called black mesa
in Robotech games was a place called little mesa and new mesa
he claims to be an american once removed
then the gas owner comes out in his military uniforme
the geezer sez e gangster iced 6 and is in the area cuz he's got a newspaper that sez so
the geezer showas the leslie horaed thaper with the gagster
he sez a killwer holds his chin in
the geezer talks about his encounters with billy the kid and mark twain
the leslie howard sez hes a writer
he tells his name but idont recall it so im calling him lesblie howard
the bette davis sez she was born in frasnce and her mom lives there but dad left her
oh they were married
I thought she was illegitimate
I assumer she was a war baby
I hear Koreans are not happy with Koreans who marry americans and make half american children
plus Samsung doing windfarms that ruin places and harm people and animals
so the bette davis reads the liasin howard poetey
she plans on selling the place and going to freance
howard sez hes married to a chick who was rich who wanted him to be a good writer
she showed him the world but latr left him for a brazillian
liesie howerd sez he wants to find something worth living and biting it for
so he travlezs america
the bette davis shows him her paintings she drew
wtf shes in Arizona
I got a youtube friend out there
the bette davis struggles between her freniech and american protoculturte
she also don't wanna marry
he sez hes an intellectual and theyre running out
he whines about how nature is fighting back at them as revenge for making progress against it
he goes on for some poetic deep ramblings
he sez he was born 1901
too early for ww1
too late for something
and the bertte davis is a new generation to do something
she talks about petrified woods in a forest that turned to stone somehow
they talk about love
he starts to leave but wants a kiss
but then the football guy comes in
it only cost him 30 cents to eat
but he has no cash
then some customers come over and are on the way to the coast
she asks for them to taker lesliehowerd and the driver pats him down/looks him over then sez yes
the bettedavuis gives him a dollar saying its his change
he sez he meant it for her bt she sez tipping is un-American (it is! never tip!)
he goes with em and the radio warns of the gangster
something happens to the driver car and they go off
at the gas store the better davis sez to the footeballer that klesbi howard said they theink they beat nature but cant
and they gotta admit nature cant be beat
maybe if we nuked more we might win
isn't that the opposite message of the glbal warming commies?
then the gamgsters come in
leslie comes in but the gangstarrs hold him captive 2
football guy don't like gangster but geezer thinks hes like a deperado
cuz gangsters are foreigners and hes american
leslie howerd sez he knows from the stars that hes gonna bite it
grampa geezer is glad to be with killers
football guy sez the gangsters are chicke for usimg guns
real men use fists
one guy he p-ssed off too much holds a gun on him but bogart calls him off
they listen to the radio and its revealed the car leslie went with was also part of bogarts gang
foootballl asks how leslie howard is gonna pay for his drinks but he sez hes got a dollar and sez the bette vdavies gave him it
foortball reveals he was gonna b0ne her b4 the gang showed up
lersvie howrds sez he and bogart belong in the desert berried the petrified forrest
she sez she'd only able to love leslie hoeard
she wants to go away with him
she wants to restore leslies heart
leslie is drunk and stands up but bogart tells him not to
leslie sez hes no threat to him
its like in school how teachers whine about u eating lunch standing
leslie tells off the geezer for not giving the bette davies his money
bogart tells off leslie for being mean to a geezer
foorball takes the gun and people come in
then in the chaos bogart blows off footballs hand
geese howard gets his lfe insurance policy
later he asks terry bogard to ice him
he uses logic to help him along
but after people say hes in love with the bette davis
he thinks he's worth more to her iced than breathing
and she has a great destiny
btw the he car lesguie was in wernt the ganfgs homies
good duality between the intellectual ledlie and the common yet streetwise bogart
also are 2 black guys; the gang one who is more laid back, and the driver who is honorable and by the book
its like good burger but more srs
the bette davis sez the place is gonna be famous for where the bofgart stopped
she might be an actress but lesno sez she otta be selfish and only caring of herself
the rich guys wine b--ches about her wantinfg to do her own thing but her fam oput her best ntentions ahead and she got married and is malcontent
bogart sez he was in jail a lot
I assumer he was b0ned by lotsa dudes
leslie sez he loves her ansd gives her advice
she wants to go with him but he tells her no
then come ww1 guys come in and are caught by the gangsters
they say his other car of homies was caught and they know his plans
leslie eggs him on to escape and not get even with the chick who outed him
then a car comez by and a gunfight breaks out
1 guy bits it
seeing gunfire turns leslie straight and he almost wants to live
he's turning american
lislie and the bette davis kiss
I assume they b0ned in ther real version
bogart tries to leave but leslie blocks him
so he caps him
they have a tender moment and he bites it with his chin on her b00bs
geezer sez  he wanted her to go to framce and wrote her a will for 5000 bones
then its discovered that they gort bogart
she sez shes gonna berry him in the prettified forstadt
the end
this was a good one
and I liked bogard in here
he wasn't doing his usual thing
for the petrified forest 2 I'd like for bette davis to have eaten leslie howard in a ritual to absorb him and used his bones to make swastikas and pentagrams, and she b0ned the football guy to reincarnate leslie as her next kid. but really his soul is trapped in her and they share a body with them b0ning in her dreams. she eventually gets sick of him but cant get rid of him ad decides to get pregnant and poop him out as a baby. she does but he has all his memories and grows faster from being part adult. she decides to get even with him and becomes a scientist who creates nucular items to wipe out nature and make the future of 199x a cyber city w/o gross a55 plants or bugs or dogs that go mental when you walk by their yard

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