Thursday, February 11, 2016

Gold Diggers Of 1933 Review

note; m,ty ytpning bad but im iroving
gold diggers of 1933
this is my reviewon gold diggers of 1933
I assume this is based on a true story
I like early 30s films
right after the silent era and just when sound was dawning
like playing an early sega genesis game
so it starts with a rundown of who plays what
I miss how films did dat
now they expect you to know all the stars right from the start
but ina fw yeas one remembers em
the film starts with a cheerful jolly positive song about having a lot of cash
the girls are in bikini like costumes made of coins
its like o baa maa claimed his rule would be like
so much for that
then the repo men come by and take all the sets and costumes
then we get a montage and the 3 heroes (who are chix) get a note that the landlord needs the rent
they all live together in the same apartment but never get 18+
for breakfast one girl swipes their neighbors milk bottle
she tells a story about getting 500$ from as guys pocket
I assume she was b0ning him
then this lady comes by saying someones got work
but they don't have anything good to wear
so they take the lady's clothes
they don't show the undressing
they would if remade today
after 2 chix leave, 1 girl listens to this pianist next door singing a love song
this other girl advises against her being with him
then the blonde calls saying the guy is pitting on a show and its not cast
he comes over and tells his high plans for his show
then the pianist starts playing and the showe guy wants him
the pianist comes over and plays a song
its very 30s-40s
like snow white or mr toad
its a bit down thoygh
but beautful
then he plays another song and the show guy talks about how the show is about the depression
he likes the pianists music and agrees to use it if his gf is in the sh\owe
he wants the pianist to sing but the pianist declimes
and he sez he's all set but he needs cash
he's been set for 6 months but needs 50 000 $
but he can do it for 15 000 $
the pianist sez he can fund it but everyone thinks he's joking
then he goes back and plays piano
the show guy loves it as its perfect for his show
the next day this guy called giggolo eddie comes by
also these quadruplites come by (the kentucky hillbillies)
they want to be paid
then the pianit comes in and has the cash
later the girls suspect the pianist got the cash illegally
this seems like the room
on opening night the main actor has back issues so the pianist takes his place
they perform and the 1st song is "pettin in the park"
I assume its about b0ning
then it has couples and an ape couple swaying to the song
then theres a roller skating thing
then a snowe thing
how'd they get snow in a broadway musical?
in both of em is ether a kid or a midget
wtf we'ere like 40 mins in the movie
was I in a time warp?
then theres a rain scene where the kid/midget lifts a screen with chix behind it
but they aint nude
after the show the pianist is recognized and hes part of a rich fam
then his fam comes over and whines about how they hate him being in theatre
he sez he likes his music and they wont stop him
they don't want him marrying his gf  and might cut off his income
they use the SLURR g-ld d-gger
1 guy of the fam recalls b0ning one in his youth
they go over to the girls place and tell this blonde to break off with the pianist
she sez no
the milk stealer trys to seduce the fam member who b0ned a gold digger in his youth
the girls decide to mess wityh the rich guys since they offended the girls
the giggolo (who looks like jack black)(jack back as a giggolo?! brings a hat and delivers a hat and sez it costs 75$
they get the rich guys to pay for it and they play up the thing of needing more things
thern this girly voiced guy (who's probably a hermaphrodite) comes buy with another 75 $ hat
the rich guys pay for it and they all go drinking
btw they think the blonde is the pianists gf
then the girl who sang the 1st song in this movie comes by
later the guy who b0ned a gokd diggur jhas a hang over andf the other guy(ther piasnists big bro) wants to seduce the blonde
the girls and pianist wanna keep the game going but 1 gurl wants to come clean
the girl seducing the guy who b0ned a gold digger(whos a lawyer) gets a dog and sez its like him
if this were made today the dog would whiz on him
later the girls and the guys go dancing
the pianisrt fakes being jealous for the blonde
the opening song blonde trys to seduce the lawyer but the milk swiper tryes to keep her off
the big bro talks to the real gf and she embellishes her story to sound better
the blonde makes a scene and they leave
at home the big bro sez he loves the blonde and is drunk
they make out
he blacks out on a couch and the milk swiper comes by
she has him put in the blondes bed but the blonde dislikes the scheme
they wanna make it look like he b0ned her out of marriage
if this were made today it wouldn't be so shocking
but in the 30s its like showing him being b0ned
he wakes up he next day and don't remember last night
the milk swiper plays up his acts and has him sign a check for 10 000 $ for the night
he leaves but the blonde feels bad for him and is gay for him
also the lawyer sez he told the milk swiper he loved her
then the big bro and lawyer see the newspaper thing about the pianist marrying his real gf
the big bro comes by and the blonde sez she never really lied as she didn't say she was the gf or w.e
she has the check on the wall and never cashed it
they fall in love and make out
he sez he wants to end his pianist brio's marriage but she defends em
then theres a musical at a theatre and this guy is singing about somehitng
oh, itsd about love
also a blonde(not sure if its the gf blonde or opening song blonde) is in a skimpy dress (that would work in an anime)  and singing
theres also a cool thing of guys in full black suits with white glowing violibns in a dark room
wait, its chicks
and some really good 30s dance numbers
if this were made today we'd have too much cgi and swearing
also it would be widescreen and have a tacked on sad moment
after that its revealed t6he lawyer is married to the milk swiper
and the bro tells the pianist hes gonna end his bro's marriage
he tries to have the bro arrested but the cop is really a cr-ppy actor
then theres a musical thing with smoking
nowadays they'ed try to censor it
these commies keep trying to censor smoking thinking seeing it in movies makes people wanna do it
meanwhile they have crime, drugs and b0ning in films with teens and its seen as "representing reality"
swearing too
the musicial thing is sorta like a 50s thing
sorta blues too
then theres a ww1 thing
too bad we didn't swith zee kaizer
might've prevented ww2, communism and the depression
this ww1 song is very meaningful
esp for me, a descendent of ww1 survivors
then it ends
that was great
they otta show this on the history channel
better than 10 000 bc or the (cr-ppy remake of) the texas chainsaw massacre
for gol;d diggwers of 1933 2 I'd like it to be set in the year of 2033 and america has gone commie and everyones poor again. the descendants of  the original charactors are trying to find husbands while avoiding commies who try to have them arrested for owning money(as only the gov has that right now) and they join the resistance to free america by spreading 80s things to remind people of how cool things were in da 80z.

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