Friday, February 5, 2016

Gorillas In The Mist Review

note; my keybors bardly placed ts keys so theres typoes
gorillas in the mist
this is my review on gorilias in he mist
it starts with the chick from aliens at a university class tha promotes evolutionism
it also tries to equate humans and apes
lets see an ape show remorse for a wrong it did
I gotta say im at least glad this film is shown in proper fullscreen
no black bars
I also like the 80s feel of this film
so aliens chick says she works with disabled kids so she thinks she can work with apes
that's pretty horrible
equating disabled children to sub human animals
I know disabled humans and would say they still have higher humanity and intelligence to animals
she also seems quite disgruntled and malcontent
like; on the edge of snapping
so she goes to Africa to work with apes
she meets the Africans and 1 is a priest/tracker
this is turning into dungeons and dragons
hope he has high charisma
you need that for turning undead
before setting out for the ape area, she throws a fit about them not having room for her make up and bras
I don't think the apes care what shes wearing
they go around nude eating their own waste
she reveals she ditched her fiancée and job to come to this h-llhole
on the way there she cantkeep up with the Africans and trires easily
I should also mention shes a smoker
the next day the tracker reveals he tranks other animals but not gorillas
ooh, this is in the late 60s
she doesn't get much progress finding the apes but later falls in fresh gorilla waste
they find some apes and watch them like some degenerate watching in a strangers window
ooh, they move like optimus primal in beast wars
I loved that show as a kid
back when cg was new and exciting
now its overused and cr=ppy
later they find a gang of apes
open fire!!
she calls them beautiful
I assume she means as in psysically attracive
then this big monsterous ape com at them screaming for no reason and they run away
she then says that the gorilla manual says never run when chased by one of those things
they're luck it didn't tear them apart and b0ne the pieces
when thy get back to camp the army trashes their came cuz they don't like white people
they also call her brittish
that's racist
she otta call the racism police and have them arrested for being racist and they'll be executed for the capital crime of having racist thoughts
their camp is burned down and they take her to the border with other refugees
after wandering the area with the refugees she finds the priest/tracker and they go to some blondes house
she knows the dr from the start of the film who let her come to africa
she wants to give up and go home and marry her fiancee
se changes her mind after noticing a mountain on the congo side of the border as saying "apes don't know borders"
that's cuz they aren't human, nor are they citizens of any country
its like saying "centipedes don't know property limits"
at least centipedes are cool
they look like some weird P0RN0 DAEMON
maybe a boss from Castlevania or contra
they still freak me out
I don't wanna kill em cuz they are the good bugs
they eat the annoying bugs and don't get in humans way
so she gets a gun and goes to some area to reset her base
she doesn't find many apes and forms some twisted bond with this one gang of apes
she gets close and hangs out with em
I had a bond with my jack o lantern and got bummed when they threw them out
if it were up to me we'd keep them out through the winter and they'd be mush im the spring
she gains the apes trust by mimicking them and they aren't smart enough to get they're being tricked
she gets an extention on her stay
later she walks into an African cemetery and disrupts their graves
then some Africans come in and want to touch her hair
they think shes a witch cuz of her red hair(it don't look red on film)
imagine if a ukranan guy did this with a visiting black guy
that would be called racist
laTER she mo lests this old lady at a shop for her selling something that the aliens chick doesn't like
imagine if Indians from india came to america and went around assaulting people at mcdonalds for selling beef burgers
when in rome, do as the romans do!
don't go to an Italian restaurant and ask for sushi!
later she notices this big ape has 2 fingers connected and calls him digit(not that the ape can understand human speech nor would it care what she calls it)
that night she starts making ape sounds and movements
shes turning!
then an Australian guy comes in and says hes here to photograph the apes
hes from national geographic
she asks him if he has any experience with animals and he tells of times he nearly died
better than her only having been working with disabled children
the nxt day shes malcontent over trappers setting traps to catch apes
the Australian says that these trappers have been doing this for generations and use it to feed their familys
then he blames white people for buying what the trappers catch
imagine if you went mental over native americans hunting buffalo to feed their familys
that would be racist
later he films her interacting with the apes'
then the big fata55 ape digit comes down a tree and starts threatening the asutarilian guy
she has him act submissive to the subhuman animal and pretend to eat grass
lets see how superior that ape is to 20th century human technology!
heck a 1500s samurai katana would show that beast who's boss!
not that it would learn
even after its limbs are removed it would still try to kill the human
then the aliens chick has a romantic moment with fata55 digit
they're gonna fall in love
I assume in the real version they b0ned
that night the Australian and the aliens chick b0ne
she claims to have a strange connection to digit as he has no peers in his group
also its revealed that she knew the Australian guy was married since he arrived
then they b0ne
later she and the Australian guy are shopping and she wants Halloween masks with red hair
hes going to nirobi and shes worried about him going through a storm
hes also gonna see his wife
this is turning into springer
later some Africans are hunting gorrilas athe aliens chick arrives when theyre gone to find whats left of thoe animals
she caTCHES up to em as they get away wth a newly caught baby ape
after they get away she tries to get this kid who she caught with the hunters to betray his people
he holds his ground so she terrifies him with a red haied demon mask
he squeals and she says "good boy" and gives him candy
if an american tormented a muslim suspect by throwing bacon on him to get info for saving america lives he' be called evil
but she does the same thing buy for animals and is shown as a hero
also, her "rewarding" and praising the child she bullied into giving up his people is kind of sick and shows a lack of understanding for humans
later she breaks into a car and steals the captured ape
then threatens the man who's car it was
this chics a maniac
she complains to this official but he backs up the trappers story and that he approved of it as it gives the poors of Africa need cash to live
she (obviously not understanding finances) saYS that the apes should be protected and funding it is "his" problem
they negotiate and agree to give her a few good men
to protect the 900lb wild gorillas
that night she tries to get the stolen ape to eat
the net day the asusiln guy brings in a dog and makes out with the aliens chick
while taking a bath together they watch films of her with the apes
also the asutial gy is divorcing his wife
that's awful
like a male kim kardashian
at least he didn't get pregnant with her illegitimate child
the next day they find a voodoo doll of her in her room
the austrlin guy burns it
but she doesn't cook
oh and shes raising the stolen ape as a human child
later they're putting the stolen ape in a crate and she gets all teary eyed and emo
she torments human children but feels bad for an ape?
that's kinda twisted
later the austrailin guy says hes being reassigned to borneo and wants her to come as its about studying primates
she turns him down and stays behind with the apes
this guy ruined his marriage to be with her
and she ditches him for animals
she tells him to not come back nor contact her and he leaves
and guys are called selfish for wanting to watch the game with the guys instead of spending time with their wives
5 years later (and after the alleged moon landing on the alleged moon)
she talks to the official and says the zoo wants another ape as the stolen ape was returned to them but died soon after being delivered
she says that's good
normal people know that; where theres life, theres hope
she and some new researchers are being threatened by a big raging ape
she stands up to it and has some black magic stare and it backs down
looks like she really IS a witch
maybe she traded her soul to some ape daemon in exchange for dark powers
it would explain her lack of human empathy
or maybe the apes are the daemons and have been warping her into their envoy to fight the humans who hunt them
too bad those ape daemons don't know of the food chain
later its revealed shes misusing the researchers by forcing them to do guard duty before being "allowed" to look at them
who died and made her Mussolini?
later se hears a noise and assumes its digits group
some hunters and hunting apes and using traditional spears and blads
fata55 digit attacks the humans but their superior weapons and minds ae enough to conquer the savage beast
later the aliens chick gets there and finds the raging ape missing its head and maybe hands
some soldiers catch the hunters trying to feed their familys and she sets up a public hanging for them
but the rope wasn't tied on the other endand stals an item from him
that's pretty horrible
the researchers tell her shes going too far
she compares hunters to murderers and goes on a malcontent tirade
im surprised she didn't have them skinned and force fed their own skin for questioning her disgruntled authority
I assume in the real version she deboned the captured hunters and b0ned them with their own bones
but to make her look less evil they cleaned it up
like in the king and I how they removed the king executing people
softening the black acts of a remorseless tyrant to let the audience relate to them better
later she attacks a villiage suspected of having hunters and burns it down
I assume she had innocent villiagers who defied her I their homes as they burned in the real version
maybe she had their limbs removed so they couldn't escape
this is pretty dark
later she catches 2 researcers in bed and fires them(even though they work for the foundation)(also she was b0ning that Australia guy so its even more ironic)
she tells em to "get off MY mountain"
shes outta control
like the guyver
or baoh
later shes smiling and laughing with the apes
then she finds a baby ape
it shares fata55 digits finger deformity
later she threatens a zoo owner with forced amputation and calls him a  "murderer" with no actual evidence he actually killed anybody
later its revealed shes spreading lies of disease on the mountain and is hurting the people of the economy of the country.
also shes shooting at people and just got a 3 year work permit so she has free reign over this area
later that night shes drunk and is chopped up by some unknown guy
shes buried in the same grave as that fata55 monster ape digit
a voiceover says she wanted to get married and have a family but instead got a mountain of subhuman apes
what a waste
btw, the apes don't seem to care shes gone
the ending text then says the apes are only around now cuz of her
im sure there were other factors
rick baker did special effex
the fusion of rick hunter and jack baker from Robotech II: The Sentinels
For Gorillas In The Mist 2 I'd like for her to be revived in a daemon ritual by the apes and return as some half ape abomination to get revenge on humans for hunting apes. After she grotesquely splatters any humans in aftica who come to the mountain, the zoo owner teams up with the priest/tracker take her on. The priest/tracker uses holy powers and the zoo guy has technology that is faster but weaker. They fight apes over several levels as they ascend the ape mountain killing gorillas and face the witch as a final boss who has several forms including one where she becomes a giant abomination and one where she reincarnated hersenf into her own womb and gives birtn to herself as a pure ape with strong attacks. Its also a 2 player beat em up on both Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo and has a super move where you can collect power ups to nuke the screen (seen as a burst of Holy energy or some kind of weapon depending on the player).

No comments:

Post a Comment