A place where I post silly reviews of various movies from an "everyman" or "contrary" P O V. Done in the style of a newspaper article and a grade school book report. Don't take these seriously. Its all in good fun. Also, each review ends with a crazy sequel idea.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
The Big Sleep Review
note, this laptop im using has a busted keyboard. pseae forgie the bad typing
the big sleep
this is my review on the big sleep
It starts with bogart coming into som place and this miniskirt chick flirts with him
this is how adult movies start
bogart is here to see a general
a cripple
bogart is a private dick
the cripple gives bogart permission to take off his coat and smoke
this is also how adult films start
the general is being blackmailed
I had to pee for a bit so I missed a bit
I think I didn't miss much
wtf
the cripple had a younger male over and he gave him brandy and talked for hours
I assume they b0ned
the male was irish and in the revolution
like mel Gibson in all those movies
after meeting with the cripple, he meets with the other daughter
shes not as friendly
they'll probably fall in love
man
this movie has more talking than im used to
he does some inventigating and seems to be looking for a book
ben hur from 1860
some other book I didn't pick up on
he talks for a bit but doesn't get it
ge goes across the street to the other store
turns out this one is better
they know the 2nd book isn't real
it starts raining so bogart seduces the book girl to have some booze with him
its highly implied they b0ne
afterward, bogart follows this guy
Geiger
like a hobo, he spends the night in his car waiting it out untilhe hears noise and runs in
the badds get away but he finds sme dude dead
and the fun girl from b4 with him but alive
he finds a camera in a statue
ohhh
the girls on drugs
and the camprea outta film
this is turning into dora the explorer
but with guns and drugs
like the crow
he finds a coded book and brings the druggie out for a car ride
soon hes gonna get in his thinking chair
and think
think
think
and use the clues to figure out what bue wants
he gets her home then gors back but the bodys gone
he goes home but then his homie Bernie comes over
Bernie brings him to a waer and they get a car out of there and theres a body in it
he goes back to the 1st bookshop and later uses a taxi to follow a car
would this make a good video game?
mayyyyyyybe
perhaps a point and click thing
this movie is going nowhere
he goes back to the cripple place and talks to the non druggie girl
the backmailer sent an image to them and want 5000$
they talk or a bit and they play with the phone for a bit doing voices and playing parts
turns out the Irishman ran off with a gamblers wife
and the good daughter is getting 500$ from the gambler
this movie is getting confusing
he goes back to the gieger house but this chick is there
I don't recognize her
ohhh
its the druggie
then this guy comes in asking for the dead guy
im pretty sure hes gonna be a boss later in the game
the guy owns the place and the deadite is his tenant
he brings in his minions and they confirm bogart is a private dick
later bogart steaks out some place and comes in later
turns out the place has geigers items
and the bad bookstore girl an the good daughter are there
turns out the guy either was at the murder or has the picture
b4 he gets it, the drug daughter comes in and after a struggle, bogart takes control over the situation and gets the picture
they talk for a while but I wasn't really paying attention very much
someone gets shot and bogart chases him
he caught him and brings him back to Geiger house
they fight and he kicks him out cold
one turn win
after some phone, the cops pic em up
they see the D A lie in law and order but it seems bogart solved everything
and his homie Bernie is taking credit for getting bogart involved
bogart tells the cops everything
I watched some dbz abridged news and don't thin I missed anything impotant
bogart goes to some singing place where they sing songs that sound like the disnety sleepy hollow cartoon
he meets with a guy I don't care enough to recognize
they talk about the Irishman
I watched the new yugioh abridged
it was a recap episode
when I got bac bogart was in pain and him/ a guy went to his office
turns out be got beat up when I wasn't looking
I wasn't paying attention for a bit and wen I look back this guy is threatening the guy with a gun and gets info outta him
he gives the guy a drink and leaves and the guy dies
bogart checks with a phone and finds the info the guy gave the killer was fake
later this chick named agnes(I dont recall her) and bogart meet
bogart goes to this place and lets theair out of the tires of some car(his or someone elses. I wasn't paying attention)
oh
its his
he uses it aS an excuse to go in this place
and the killer is there
now it looks like a restaurant
I mean a western
he gets knocked out and wakes up with the blonde who was supoposed to go with the Irishman and the good daughter of the cripple
he talks em into helping him
he makes an escape but the bad guy uses the girl as a shieild
she helps bogart with info and bogart kills the baddie
they drive away and she reveals she killed the iishman
and bogarx in love with her
they go somewhere and he calls the lardlord of geigers place cuz he was behind something
he gets there 1st and gets the jump on him and catches him
wait
this girl killed the Irishman
shes named Carmen
but I don't now who it is
the landlord is tricked into running outside but his own men ice im
bogat tells the cops that the landlord killed irish and to have Carmen sent away
I think carman is the druggie
the ebnd
I think if they make a big sleep 2 it should have his grandfather in the 1800s trying to solve a mystery of lincons assassination. and finds out aBOUT time travelers being in part.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment