Thursday, February 4, 2016

Dances With Wolves Review

note, my kybords kinda wearing down so thers gonna be typoes
note; this moive is really long and so is this review
dances with wolves
this is my review o dANCES with wolves
with a title like that I'd assume its a furry ting
its widescreen
2/5ths of the screen is black bas
it starts with a guy in the 1st american civil war about to get his leg sawed off
its evin Costner
the drs leave to b0ne some amputees so he takes a chance to escape
hs in the union side
most popular films have the confederates as the heroes
its directed by keniv Costner
btw ive gone 20 odd hours w/o sleep so this review is gonna be a bit awful
or awesome
good thing for pepsi
back at the battlefield kevin listens to some inbred guy while looking at a horse
I assume hes wanting to b0ne it
or let it b0ne him
he rides the horse through some gunfire then hugs it with a kiss
not that theres anything wrong with that
he then rides bac through it with open arms like he wants to get picked off
then the unions attack the comfederates
his higher rank officer says he cal keep his foot
so the unuon amputates its less successful soldiers?
I knew they were the bad guys
they probably eat the pieces too
then kevin soctr gets to keep his horse gf and go off to some wasteland
hs assigned to fight the Indians
didn't know the confederates sided with india in the 1st american civil war
kevin costrer says he AWLAYS wanted to see the frontier b4 its gone
I assume the Indians were building low pay factories for walmart products on em
after kevin Costner laves the guy he talked to blows his brains out
I assume the Indians wee going to cast a black magic spell on him when they took over
along the way to his new post, kevin scotty finds a human or bigfoot skeleton that was picked clean
theres cannibals out here
just like spain in suddenly last summer
kein scotners traveling homie is crude and crass and has loud gas
since they don't get along I assume thyre gonna fall in love like all those other films with new team mates who argue
but what about his horse?
will they have an open relationship?
later they come to an outpost and its empty
just like in Robotech when the sdf-1 went to the mars base
or when scott Bernard went to that base on his way to reflex point
evin scotner decides to stay at the empty base as its his post
hope he has a good Protoculture supply to power the weapons
his slob homie goes back o civilization
I assume they reunite after the ordeal and they b0ne
maybe after the horse is b0ned dead by whoever killed the last keepers of the post
kevin Costner seems to like being in the middle of nowhere surrounded by miles of nothing
he hears a noise and readys his gun but its just his horse/lover
he later finds a bunch of destroyed vehicles and ded animals
is this gonna become the shining??
he then burns the stuff
but some wasteland warriors see it and think hes white
they talk in some language but its subtitled
I wish they'd have dubbed it
what if I couldn't read?
then 1 wasteland warior kills the slob friend for no reason
he takes quite a few arrows before dying
is lat request is for them not tu hurt his muels
they then b0ne him dead or something offscreen
kvin ceost finds caves that men were living in b4
what a mystery!
he sees a dog and almost kills it but decides to live with it
I assume they'll fall in love
then he turns furry
later even sconter is doing laundry in the nude
but theres a dog there!
its gonna bite off his thing!
thn(while still nude)h sees a wasteland warrior at his post
and hes tryimg to seduce the horse!
but kevin says hi and he freaks out
he mustve been afraid of his thing
kevein sconer then upgrades his base
also, kevin is attracted TO HIM
thse wasteland warriors talk and ay racist things about whites
I assume theyre the bad guys for killing kein costners butt buddy and being racist
this is a 90s film afterall
they also have biker gang names like "kicking bird"
is this mad max??
later they lead an attack on the base
or maybe its a joy ride
1 wasteland guy falls and cripples his arm
its mentioned that their leader will have his "bow across the guys back"
I assume they either b0ne them or amputate pieces of em
just like the union
but theyre both bad guys but against eachother
still no Indians though
not 1 looks like hes from india
the next day kevin sconty wakes up kinda sore
I guess he was b0ning the horse
or the horse was b0ninghim
then some wasteland warriors kidnap his horse gf
one goes up to him and screams in his language assuming kevin Costner can understand it
the next day he suits up and his horse gf is back
he goes off to face the wasteland warriors
on the way there he sees a hippy worshipping nature
shes got a knife and was cutting herself
she seems possessed
that's what HAppens when you worship spirits
kevin Costner takes her back to his base
wait, he goes to the wasteland warriors town with her
the people there are terrified of him
its like in Robotech whe the Zentraedi met the humans
one wasteland warrior comes of and tells him to f off
he drags her body back to the wasteland warrior
I assume theyre gonna eat her
the blonde wasteland warror leader suggests they meet kevin costner
they visit him and he acts like a cow
I new he was a furry
they try to communicate
the next visit he shows them a coffee grinder and gives them coffee
the hippy is still alive and shes afraid of evin costne for beig white
her owner wants her to communicate with kevin Costner but shes become a self hating white from years of whatever was done to her
shes been either mindwiped or cursed
then some blonde kids are playing and the wasteland warriors come to their family
ohhhhhh! they start murdering em!
turns out the hippy was the little girl who survived and was mindwiped or cursed to hate herself
kevin Costner seems to be absorbing their Protoculture and liking them
at the village, kevin Costner smokes pot with one guy
then the hippy comes in and is used to translate
her English is bad
an american who cant speak English, how sad
her owner is revealed to be a monk or something
she reveals her wasteland warrior name is stands with fist
sounds like a bad transliteration of a kung fu name
kevin coatner reveals hes smart enough not to reveal too much info to the wasteland warrior
ten theres an earthquake but its really bison(not M Bison from street fighter)
he tells the wasteland warriors but theyre having a ritual or something so when he shows up they b0ne him
they follow the bison but when they get to em they find em skinned
looks like aliens
better call the Robotech defense force
like cnn, kein Costner blames whites and bashes them
hes turning from content to malcontent about his ancestry
hes getting white guilt
then they find more bison
then theyrie through the bison and pick a few off
one guy removes a living orga and eats it
then so does kevin costner
I assume this is some kind of ritual for absorbing the animals Protoculture
then the wasteland warriors overfeed kevin Costner and want him to continue eating
I think they wanna fatten him up
they wanna b0ne his beer belly!!
then he trades his uniform coat for a little woof chest piece
then he tells the feral kids some stories I English/their language
one guy stole his hat and wont give it back cuz he forgot it on the floor
thn gives him some junk kevin Costner didn't want as payment
its like I take your aero the acro-bat cartrage and give you awesome possum
later kevin Costner wakes up and sees 2 wasteland warriors b0ning
not sure why they had that scene
then the wasteland warriors return home with their bison meat and leave kevin scotner to go back to his base
hes lonely so he tarts a fire and dances around it
later he gets molested by his dog and starts spending more time with the wasteland warriors
kevin Costner makes remarks like "there will be too many white people"
later the wasteland warriors are going to have a turf war with a rival gang but the monk doesn't want people who are not of his race involved
he also says whites are not real warriors
I think George Washington, alexander the great and napoleon would disagree
the hippy reveals she was called names as a kid and hit the name caller and stood over her with her fist out
one hit kill
its revealed her husband died and her cutting herself was cuz of it
later kevin Costner and the hipppy fall in love and b0ne
kevin Costner has a lot of love scenes in his career
as theyre b0ning, the wasteland warriors return and they reveal the rival gang is near
evin Costner offers to get them his guns
his hair is looking kinda mad max too
they theres a mildly violent battle
one wasteland warrior is chased down and wins up getting shot
kevin Costner is confused by the battle but grows to love it
the monk's woman tellshim that kevin Costner is in love with the hippy
she says"it makes sense with them both being white"
so much anti-white comments
its like a spike leee movie
also cuz kevin Costner was molested by his dog, they give him the wasteland warrior name ; dances with wolves
then they do what they consider marriage
what about the horse?!
did they break up?!
this is worse than in digimon when sora went with matt instead of tai!
he is looking at her for a while and spacing out
then the monk says; did you hear what I said? and he lies
the the monk says; in that case, yoor married
they go into the tent to b0ne
but they wernt really married then
kevin Costner tells the monk that white people are high numbers like the stars
the blonde leader claim the Mexicans and Texans were beat by them and are evil
kevin ditches his post for good but when they're ready to leave he remembers he forgot his diary so he races back to the base for it
he finds the union army is there
they open fire and kill his horse
they then pistol whip him with a rifle
the union soldiers mistreat him and he reveals hes on their side
but they don't trust him
he sees the birds eating his horse/lover and attacks a fellow officer
they beat him down and interrogate him
hes gone soft and has no following of protocol
he is revealed to be considered a traitor and he tells them off in a language they have no way of getting
one guy is dumping and looking through kevin costners diary and a guy asks for paper to wipe with
as neither can read they use his diary
a metaphor for americans treating what they don't understand like cr=p
2 wasteland wariors are sent to find out what happened to kvin Costner
the dumping guy tries to molest him but evin Costner catches it
also the dumping guy seems inbred
the union soldiers are taking kevin Costner back to civilization but they stop to shoot at the dog
they try to make this look sad
its just a Dog man
in china those are korean kfc
evin costnet tries to kill human beings for shooting a dog
hes gone mental
I notice kevon costten shaves his face yet lets his head hair grow
then the wasteland warrior attack and kill the soldiers unprovoked
kevin tortures one b4 drowning him
but 1 gets away
but then is killed
the wasteland warrior celebrate their murders with joy
his diary floats away in the river and he goes to liv with the wasteland warriors in the woods
evin codstner then says its good to kill the soldiers and he liked it
hes lost his soul
he tells the wasteland warriors that the army is going to go after him and hes gonna leave the wasteland warriors
the blonde leader reveals that his past self is dead and hes now dances with wolves
then they smoke pot
he leaves and the army comes toward the village
as hes wandering the woods the onscreen text says the wasteland warriors were defeated
for dances with wolves 2 I'd want kevin Costner to have used his drugs and rituals to summon wicked spirits sealed in the earth and go on a quest to defear the military but the military has developed steam powered exosuits and they engage in an epic series of battles with the military between kevin costners tree and rock daemons and the militaries exosuits. turns out the wicked spirits were aliens(space daemons) sealed away before noah's flood and they were the ones who wiped ou the bison to drive kevin Costner to take on america(they could come out of their seal on certain magic days). then kevin Costner sides with the daemons as he gave up having a soul and he goes on one last attack on america and the steam exosuits combine their electric cannons and blow him up. but he fuses with the daemons and becomes a giant abomination so the exosuits combine into a giant mech and its a kung fu fight with kevin costners abomination.

No comments:

Post a Comment