Friday, February 5, 2016

Freaks Review

note; my key vboard is lusy so thesres typ[oes
this is my revuiew on freaks
what a name for a movie about deformed people
what nest?
a wheel chair film called "crippleZ"?!
well, it is the 30s
so it starts with a guy at a freak show talking about some abomination he's showing off in a freak show
then it cutz to a flash back as he tell s her story
in the past(maybe before sound films) she was a acro bat in the circus
and this midget has a b0ner for her
the midget has a sister
and all 3 are blonde
shes French
I thought her actress was Russian
olga baclanova or blackaroni or bone taro or w/e
she flirts with the midget(who seems to be german) and they agree to have dinner
later, 2 frenchies are talking and walkingand see some people with birth defects
they say they should've been killed (for being handicapped)
that's pretty evil
then they start b--ching at this care taker for them for the crime of showing them in public
she says they'rte kids and the frenchies change their minds
I like how the germans are shown as good and the French are the bad guys
just like in real life lol
too bad we sided with the king and the czar
had we sided with the kaizer there might not be ww2 or communism
later some people mock a hermaphrodite
most movies dont have hermaphrodites
except anime by go nagai
violence jack had 3 (at least)
its revealed the blonde is in love with the strong man
then they break up
its not the acro bat
she goes on a tirade against a clown but he mouths back at her and then comforts her and gives her advice
the clown then talks to Siamese twins who feel eachothers touch
ones getting married
then a guy who talks like p0rky pig reveals he's marrying one of em
so the strong man flirts with the acro bat and the hermaphrodite watches them make out
so he slugs him/her out
man this movield be really censored today by the pc nazies if released today
then the midgets argue over something im not really paying attanetion to
later the arco batrevealed to be leading on the midget while possibly b0ning the strong man
the gurl midget and the blonde gossip about the acro bat
and the guys are having guy talk about the acro bat being hot
so the midget yells at em
then the film shows some people with birth defects doing normal things like chatting or having babies or relationship issuies
later the disabled people complain about the acro bat "not being one of em" and being suspicious of her
this is like tumbler how they hate people for not having some kind of issue
later the clown is taking a bath in the open and the blonde flirts with him
hes not that
hes working on a wheel in an empty bathtub
also the Siamese twin who isn't married has a boy friend
and I just noticed the twins are like 4'9 tall
then the gurl midget triesd to tell the male midget that the acro bat romance is bad
so the acro bat has been gifts from rthe midget and is sharing them with the stonrg man
the blonde midget talks to the acro bat about her being hot beign with the male midget being something the circus lols at
she denies this but the ghil midget reveals he's got a fortune
after she leaves the acro bat sez she wants to marry him for his cash and ice his tiny a55(not in those words)
even though I like frenchies being shown as evil, its bad how they make a blonde evil(the acro bat is a blonde)
I miss when blondes were the good guys or the honorable ones
now theyre sl-ts or evil or tempresses
although this film is made in the 30s
the freraks have dinner with the humans and she gets drunk and makes out with another man
the freraks have a ceremony to make her one of em and sing; one of us! one of us! gooble gobble gooble gobble
I assume this is a spell
she has a panic and calls em "freaks" and kicks em out
she also makes comments about the midget being a baby
then the strong man picks up the midget and her on the acro bat's shoulders and they have a horseyback ride
later he sez its his fault(the midget) and th strongman sez the acro bat was drunk
the midget has a breakdown and passes out
the strong man sez; u gave him too much
one other midget hears this from outside
later a dr sez hes got some kind of poisoning (like food poisoning or something. not assassin style)
the blonde confronts the strongman about it and he calls her a traitor for turning on the humans
she mouths off to him and he nearly slugs her but stops cuz of all the freaks watching
later the midget is in bed and sick and sez its been a week since they got drunk and he mouthed off to her
but she sez its ok
then she gets him some medicine from her pants while the peeping midget watches
she goes out to some other trailer and rthe peeping midget comes in and talks with the main midget over some scheme
latwer its raining and the circus is traveling
when the acro bat is giving the midget his medicine while the midgets dreformed friends are in the room and they pull weapons on her
they take the stuff she keeps in her pants and say its poison
the moving trailers hit rough road and the acro bat and string man get away
but the freaks wound him and come at him with knives
I hear in the uncut lost version they cut off his parts
then the midget comes after the axcro bat
it cuts to the guy from the start telling the croone knows what happened to he\r but shes now a freak
she seems to have been mutated into a legless duck abomination
I assume the midget used his midget madgik
maybe he b0ned her and it deformed her
that's pretty sick
I mean yeah she attempted to ice him
but they mutilated them
do 2 wrongs make a right?
later the midget is rtevealed to not have had any visiters hiansion for years but the blonde, clown and gurl mifgtd come in and the midgets reconsile
for freaks 2 I'd like for the strong man to have found some holy healing item that restored his lost parts and he brings the acrobat to it(maybe its a holy healing hotspring) and it returns her to being human. they also have increased strength and have become really buff like wwf huge and dress in really small outfits to show off their huge muscles. and they have some holy powers like firing energy blasts. they then go around beating up the freak army the midget has amassed in his plan to get revenge on the humans who lolled at him by preparing a mega-spell to turn all humans on earth into freaks. its also a 8 level beat em up set in the 1950s and has a lot of 50s references with 1 or 2 players(one as the strong man and one as the acro bat) and the final level being in the midgets castle with the midget in some 1950s sci fi power suit powered by his midget madgic and with a seemingly endless elevator part (and one level at a construction site for some 50s made building). also the midgets have been breeding and have several high power midget kids, each with their own unique midget power.

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