Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Pygmalion Review

note; my spelling may s-ck
diss iz ma re vew om Pygmalion
its got leslie howard being lovable despite playing a real a55
it starts with some text saying the ancient story of a guy who made a statue so sexy he had the pagan gods give it life
sounds like a Castlevania backstory
its said this is the modern version of that story
kina like how the  history channel plays the texas chainsaw massacre despite it being 99% fake but 1 guy wore something similar to something this deviant wore
might as well have the yugioh movie on the history channel
there were pharaohs
there were sorcerers in egypt
there were tombs that the discoverers died after opening
teens in japan and america play card games
its more realistic than 10 000 bc
that's overplayed on the history channel
so the film gets going witjh some Englishmen in england
its also the slums
this awful cockney slum bum is selling flowers and talks worse thacreepy a55 clockwork orange guys
man I hate cockney accents
people say german is an awful language cuz of the pronounciation
but maaaaaan
cockney is just awful
leslie howerd has been writing her cr-py talk phonetically and people think hes a cop
he otta bust a cap in her candy a55!
English cops cant have guns
kinda defeats the purpose of being a cop if u aint armed
ur just a guy in a suit
leslie howard is a charming and buttholian Englishman who can tell where someone is from in egnland just by listening to their creepy brittish accents
he nails each accent origin perfectly
he insults her cr-ppy English with class
if this were made nowadays she;d probably be talkin like a homie
blicketee black
bone a roni
wiggle wiggle
radd 2 da x
mondo cool
1 guy he meets is a guy he wanted to meet and he sez shes gonna stay in the gutter cuz of her cr-ppy talkin
he gives her cash andc she takes a taxi home
later leslie howard makes a microphone shaped like a human ear
the guy he was looking for can pronounce 24 vowel sounds
leslie can do 130
as my black friends often say
MY A55
its like a high def tv that displays more colors than the human eye can see
the flower girl comes to lesbkie howards place and sez she wants speaking lessons
to be fair; claude rains took lessons and had an epic voice
she sez she'd pay a "shilling" for em
leslie sez a shilling is 60lbs to her
she goes mental as she don't got 60lbs
he sez he could pass the flower girl off as a dutchess
hes kind of a butthole to her and treats her like an inferior
just like those English to have a false sense of superiority
as an american ive seen how they see us
they think they're so grand
but we saved their candy a55 from the Kaiser!
mauybe we shouldn't have
might've prevented ww2 and communism
later she is given a bath
its her 1st real bath in her life
she also is afraid of being nude
meanwhile in japan; baths are for multiple people and showers are for 1 at a time
she also fears her reflection
and goes mental at being washed in the tub
we don't see her long shoelace like nipples in this movie
if it were made today we would
maybe she'd tentacle leslie howard with em
this is turning into la blue girl!
later the girtls dad comes in wanting money for her
hes a real sleeze
they talk about pretty much nothing for a long time
we then get a training montage thatwould have an awesome rockin song were this made in the 80s, of her being taught how to talk less cr-ppy
later lesblie went to see his mommy and they talk about the girl
is mommys homies come in
after some talking the gurl comes in andmeets the mommy
she fakes speakin non cr-ppy english
she seems like she don't have a soul
when jean claude van damme made his late 80s/early 90s his English wasn't that good so his acting was kinda cr-ppy(but in a good way)
but his European and recent films have pretty good acting in it
the girl don't get proper brit subject talks and speaks like someone not like the other brits
1 brit seems a bit inbred though
she suggests her aunt got iced and talks of her 30s aids or w/e
she also uses a lot of slang
manga writer toshio maeda (Urotsukidoji, la blue girl, demon beast invasion, adventure kid) is pretty much fluent in English but has a thick accent
one of his twitter posts sez he uses a lot of slang and sounds like a P|MP!!
true story
after the failure of her being refined, his friend sez they otta call it off cuz its not good for her
leslie dont care and want to pull it off
its like me spending over an hour on the ice level of valis 3 on sega
we get a training montage of him trying to teach her more
also the inbred guy is gay for her but keeps being sent away
she also learn ettiquite
this reminds me of that sailor moon ep where se was trying to become a princess at some school and s-cked at it
the girl then gets a make over(theres a word I haven't heard much of after da 90s) and they go to some embassy to have some high class thing
at there lesliev meets his former student who's trying to outdo him
he can identify a man anywhere in Europe by listening
this is like a kung fu movie where the guy who left the dojo returns and claims to have surpassed the sensei
he mistakes her for being the real thing(a dutchess or w/e) and leslie howenrd wins
but shes having some issues
she and leslie toss around ideas and talk back and forth
leslie regrets teaching her non cr-ppy talk
she leaves and meets the inbred guy
they nearly kiss in public and a cop stops em
love is banned in England?!
I knew it was evil!
he talks to the girl but the cop stops him
don't let the regents forces oppress you!
he don't even got a gun
you can take him
his uniforme isn't even armored
its man on man
although this guy's inbred so he may have a disadvantage
in pokemon inbreeding gives your pokemon better chances for good stats
he may be some kind of ubermench
and since England don't allow firearms he can take over with his superior abilities
he could be the next George Washington or Robert e lee
 the girl returns to her slum
leslie howarde cant function without her and he goes out to find her
he don't find her but the girls dad returns
he's gotten rich cuz some american guy has given him 3000lbs a year for doing something easy
what do ja know?
capitalism works
take THAT commies!
so then she returns and is talking brit talk
he refuses to accept her as an equal and sez she's gonna return to the gutter
he gets her to let her cr-ppy cockney talk slip out and she leaves
leslie and the girl argue for a while
they may have hetero feeling for eachother
a bit
they argue more and she suggests several possible paths she can take
she tells off leslie and he likes it
sounds like masochism
man both these brits are awful
we need the kaizer to return and kick some kandy a55
she leaves him and goes off in an automobile
leslie howard goes on a long walk in a montage
he returns home and accidentally turns on a record of them talking b4
then he turns around and she's there
he says acts casual about it like nothing happened
the end
I liked this one
despite it being about kinda horrible brits
slumdog millionare showed how bad india
this is similar
despite being a butthoel leslie howard is likable and fun
even the cockney accents are tolerable
I liked it
and its based on a true story
for Pygmalion 2 I'd like for the girl to have gotten into a death match with leslie howard after taking too much of his cr-p and has eaten part of him. she develops a taste for human flesh and goes around England eating people. she teams up with the inbred guy and they breed a lot and have a buncha kids who are superhuman from the inbred guy having inbred super abilities. but leslie howard returns with severe mutilation and mechanical parts from having been eaten and crippled. it also lets us use a different actor since leslie howard bit it in ww2. leslie howard trys to eat her so he can regain his body and has to fight her many children to get to her. but she's trying to take down England and its elites so people can be free and equal. its also a 16 bit sega genesis and super Nintendo game and you play as either the girl trying to eat the big wigz in brittin or leslie fighting her superhuman and half-inbred kids.

No comments:

Post a Comment