Wuthering Heights Review

note; bad typing and such

wuthering heights

this is my review on wuthering heights

the 30s version

I hear johnny depp liked this film

ooh, its from the same year as gone with the wind

lets see how this stax up

ooh

Donald crisp is in this

loved his silent films

its set in the 1800s and starts with a guy in a storm going to a run down house in England

he goes in and dogs attack him

but the houseman calls em off

I assume in the real version he killed those dogs and ate em

the house owner is Heathcliff

like the cat from da 80z

the storm walker decides to spend the night

also Heathcliffs wife is with them

Heathcliff seems to be an old sourpuss

at night the storm walker hears a womans voice saying for Heathcliff to let her in

the voice sez her name is cathy

the storm walker tells Heathcliff but he goes mental

this is turning into a horror movie

Heathcliff runs out into the storm

also when the storm walker reached outside something grabbed his hand

mrs Heathcliff sez cathy bit it

then she tells the backstory

I gotta say im loving the music and camera work

its very 30s-40s

40 years ago wuthering heights was happy and had cathys dad

cathy's dad brought over a boy who was a hobo

hes a bit of a malcontent

I assume he's the killer

the dad's kids don't like him

ohhhhhhh
his names Heathcliff!!!

later he beats cathy in a duel(horse race) and the brother bullys Heathcliff

he also nails him in the head with a big a55 rock

brain damage might make him a killer

Heathcliff doesn't cry but only wants revenge

cathy is nice to him

if this were made today, the brother would be into Heathcliff and only picking on him out of wanting to b0ne him

Heathcliff and cathy talk about having imagination and playing make believe

Heathcliff pretends to fight the black knight

better than that cr-ppy sonic game

Heathcliff starts going gay for cathy

then someone bites it and Heathcliff isn't treated as an equal

I th its the dad who bit it

the bro oppresses Heathcliff

like England pressing america

or the union oppressing the confederates

then theres a timeskip and they're teens

the bro is a drinker and his servent/slave/butler quotes the bibles views on alcohol being bad

he treats Heathcliff like dirt and goes off but Heathcliff goes to the place they played as kids and makes ouyt with catjhy

I think they were b0ning in the real version

cathy wants to run away but then sez she don't

also Heathcliff is staying there just for cathy

then they go to a party

but they sneak around outside for a bit

this would make a great video game

they watch people dance through a window and cathy wants to have a fancy dress and Heathcliff to dress royal

then the dogs attack em and Heathcliff fights em

good boss battle

the brits at the part take care of cathy but treat Heathcliff like dirt

that's Brittan for ja

the royalz are on top and those benieth em are trash

as opposed to america where all men are created equal

later cathy returns home and Heathcliff is also back from something

they talk andshes become a high class dink who sees poors as less than human

they mo lested her mind!

also a high class guy calls Heathcliff a "gypsy" and she tells him off

is he a real gypsy?

or was he just using that word as a generic insult?

cathy then takes off her dress and ripes it

I assume she was nude in the real version

but here shes in a white thing

she returns to Heathcliff and asks for forgivenerss

she wants to have things just stop and they can be together forever

that's pretty touching

this is like the ailor scouts or wedding peach angels would like

Heathcliff reveals he was in "Liverpool"(I assume some h-llish realm of ponds of ground up human organs) and swam back from a boat or something

later cathy is taking a bath in a metal thing

but we don't see her body

nor her long shoelace nipples

she gets dressed but Heathcliff comes in

they argue about her being into a high class guy

she bashes his poorness and he tells her the high class guy wont love her

she keeps ushing him and mocking his "dirty hands"

he cant take it and lightly slaps her with em

I assume in the real version they had a kung fu fight

would be a good boss fight

her firing big words and him dodging em and getting in close for a hit

later Heathcliff busts his hands through a window

that accident began his career as a super villian

he comes up later with his hands mutilated

the maid/slave/ w/e treats his hands but when cathy comes Heathcliff hides

cathy sez the high class guy wants to marry her but the maid/slave talks with her

she bashes him and he leaves but then she sez her dream of being in heaven but going to earth to be where she belongs

she realizes she loves him and they belong together

they are just like eachother and have the same feels

then Heathcliff books it on a horse outside

they reralize he stopped listening when she bashed him and she chases him outside

would be a good video game level

chasing after him and dodging lightning and such

later the bro comes back and when he hears Heathcliff and cathy left in a storm, he goes drinking to celebrate

what a p o s

hope Heathcliff b0nes him dead

later they find her and bring her back

later a dr sez to keep her in the sun and give her cream/butter

they're gonna fatten her up!

shes been staying with the high class guy

she then decides to marry the high class guy

they wed and she had an ominus sense

then theres another timeskip

shes living with her new husband but Heathcliff comes back

he wants to see her but she turns him down

after training in america, he got his power level up and is a rich gentleman

her husband trys to see Heathcliff

now that Heathcliff has cash, the high class guy is nice to him

its like in violence jack how the men of section A only stopped mo lesting the women cuz they couldn't get away with it

Heathcliff sez his dad was an emperor of china and his moms an indian queen

then how come hes white?

he's also paid off the bro's gambling and booze bills and now owns wurthering heights

the high class gy's sister sez cathy and her bro treated Heathcliff like cr-p and shes gay for him

but the high class guy is offended by her liking him

later ls disgruntled over Heathcliff getting him back for him sh-tting on Heathcliff for years]

Heathcliff comes in and the bro goes on a tirade and pulls a gun on Heathcliff

but Heathcliff knows hes a candy a55 and he chickens out

geez man!

even starscream took a shot at megatron a few times

this guy's worse than starscream

wait

why would an Englishman have a gun?

I thought they were illegal

like freedom of speech

then the high class guy's sister comes by and talks witjh Heathcliff

they fall in love when he points out he knows how she feels

then theres a party and Heathcliff joins in

the high class guy thinks she's gonna lose interest in him

in 1 scene the hands playing the harpsichord looks like something out of a 50s or 60s film

Heathcliff talx to cathy and they go outside for a bit

she claims shes different than she was b4 but Heathcliff knows she still loves him

but she turns him down and leaves

later cathy bugs the sister about Heathcliff and how he's using her to get to cathy

she denies it and sez Heathcliff is gonna marry her

cathy then bashes Heathcliff and sez hes evil

the sister counters saying she wants to make him happy and cathy is trying to ruin him

cathy confronts Heathcliff about him wanting to marry the sister

she begs him not to but he counters and blames her

cathy begs her husband to stop the wedding even if it means killing Heathcliff

but they marry anyway

after a timeskip the sister is disgruntled about her marriage

also the high class guy disowned her and cathy is gonna bite it

and the house seems to have a miasma of hate to it

and the ro wants the sister to kill Heathcliff

everyone wants to kill him

would make for a good video game

Heathcliff seems to be rotting from hate and bitterness and is refusing love from his wife

that means they aint b0ning

this seems like a bad ep of sailor moon or wedding peach

a chick comes by and sez the high class guy wants her home cuz cathy is biting it

Heathcliff goes to see her

cathy talks about her imaginary queendom at the castle where Heathcliff fought the black knight

her husband leaves to get some plant she wants and Heathcliff gets to her room

shes happy to see him and they kiss

I assume they were b0ning in the real version

sorta like in dragonball gt where gohan said to piccolo b4 he bit it; I w\ish we could've made love, just once!

or was that ninja scroll?

Heathcliff tells her off for driving them apart and leaving him and such

but then they kiss

she makes up with him and she has him bring her to the window

they feel the wind together and see the sunny English lands

wait

I thought England was all rainy and damp

she sez she'll wait for him at their castle until he comes

and then she bites it

a guy tells him to leave her alone but he sez "shes mine" and carrys her to bed

Heathcliff then sez she wont rest while he lives and she's gonna haunt him for him killing her

then the story ends and the chick is telling the storm guy about how cathy's love is stronger than time

this reminds me of the crow

then a guy comes in saying he saw Heathcliff and a woman but when he found him he was alone and at the rock he played against the black knight

the wife sez they are together again and goodbye

it ends with a moving shot of Heathcliff and cathy walking together ghostly over the snow

the end

that was really grand

I loved it

no wonder johnny depp is a romantic

and I love ther b/w look

very classy

for wuthering heights 2 I'd like for it to be a midquel set between cathy biting it and Heathcliff biting it. in this one, a buncha brittish teens come by wuthering heights and are gradually picked off one by one by Heathcliff who uses them in ritual sacrifice to try to bring back cathy.