Thursday, May 5, 2016

A Bucket Of Blood Review

note; my typing is cr=-p alicious
a bucket of blood
this is my revuiew on a bucket of blood
it starts with a beatnik saying a bad poem in a offee house
good music though
its widescreen!
find da cure!
after the poem the main guy's boss busts his a55 over him looking at a drawing for a few secs
then a guy calls in to a cop and I think hes underxcover looking for druggies
the bad poem guy sez he never says the same thing 2x, not even his poems
he also bashes men in the service
what a p o s
my great grampa's fought for Austria in ww1
the main guy says poetry to some rich people and they like him but his boss busts his a55
on his way home he sees a couple making out in a convertible
I assume they were b0ning in the Japanese version
the guy goes mental at him for looking
don't show it off if u dont want it seen
at home he starts making something out of clay
but he s-cked at it
plus a lot of things add up and stress him
a cat gets stuck in a wall and when he tries to cut it out he shanked it by mistake
he feels bad about it
once I accidentally stepped on a spider and felt guilty
but spiders are cool
like daem'ons
he covers the cat in clay cuz of inspiration from the beatnik poem from b4
he brings it to the coffee house and its pretty good
the movie tries to make it look like his stuff is good only cuz he traced real stuff
but he gets expression and feels down so its more than just tracing
the cat is put  up in display
the poem reader from the start loves it and declares him to be an artist and genious
his boss gives him the night off and a fan gives him an item
at home a cop comes by and tries to book him for having heroin
the cop pulls a gun on him and the main guy busts his head open like a watermelon with a pan
after calming the landlady about the noise, he starts mopping up the cops blood(which is pouring out like a sink(which means he must've really smashed his skull apart)) he gets an idea
meanwhile a guy damages the cat and sees fur coming out
later at the coffee house is a guy singing about a murderer going down
also a guy wants the cat statue for up to 500$$
the main guy sez his next art is called "murdered man"
he brings a chick and a guy to his place to show him it and its got its head split openlike in Hokuto no ken/fist of the north star
they love it
'oh, the guy is his boss
ansd hes nervous cuz he knows the main guy is building around corpses
but he wants the main guy to have an art show with his awful works
later the main guy is accepting his new role as a art hero
this blonde chick in a tim burton ish shirt comes in and wants to model 4 him
the beatniks want him to do nudes
aint a real artist unless u do nudes, they say
guess that makes go nagai, toshio maeda, and masami obari real artists
she p-sses him off and they clash
later he gets her to come by for nude modeling
we never even see her big b00bs
just her back
he strangles her with a scarf
later he goes to the place the beatniks are squatting in and they are eating hippie non gluten non carb non food
he shes em his new "art" and they love it
te poem guy makes a new poem for him and says it at the coffee house
his pome references necromance and killing
I just realized that the curvy blonde bit it in here
just like paris Hilton in house of wax
or the chick in psycho
but I think this came 1st
while drunk he enjoys being seen as a hero and wants to make a lotta more statues
he then saws off a guy's head to make more art
he brings in this head of clay the next day and his boss feels responsible
but the main guy cant stop cuz he don't wannna go back to being a bus boy
later he tries asking a girl out and sez he wants to marry her and stop making statues
she was the only one nice to him and hes gay 4 her
but she only was nice to him cuz she liked his art
the main guy don't take this well
he wants to make a statue of her
at the art show, she finds a piece of the blonde is off and theres human skin under it
the main guy tries to get to to accept it but she runs
the other guys at the show find out and go after him
as the main guy runs he hears the voices of those he iced
he cant take it and goes home
good thing this is about to end
I gotta take a big black strawberry marshmallow dump!
when they get to him they find he hung himself and smeared clay on himself
the end
for a bucket of blood 2 I'd like for the art to have gone on to have inspired a cult that abducts people and either makes them artists, or art, based on the dead artists works in the 1st film. also the poem guy with the beard from the 1st film is their leader who also tries to control the weather with human sacrifices and when anything happens with the weather, he says "its cuz of meeee!!" and anyone who disagrees is ritual sacrificed to control the weather.

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