The Devil's Own Review

 note; i spell demony

the devils own

this is my review on tyher devils own from 1997 (the year predatoir 2 happened)

its ghot harrison ford, brad pitt, julia stiles and no one else i know of

i saw a few mions of it yuears ago but havent really seen it

huh, reviews say it s-cked

its directal by Alan J. Pakula who did all the presidents men, sophiesd choice and ther pellican breif

btw i'm watching it on fox so its edited for contents

so its soviet north 1reland in 72 and we get like 2 mins of opening credits

thisd peaceful irishmen fammily had dinner and a masked guy comes in and emptys a gun into the kids dad

news says its cuz he suported the irhsimen against the queen

i used to feel for the irish being oppressed by englanbd, buyt after they voted to taker rights from the unborn, i was like, yeah they earned it

both are bad guys. we otta just nuke em both

then the kid grew up to be brad pit who is doing attacks on places for his reasons

kinda like with mandella in africa,m, but mandella's side won so he';s called a ehro

its 92 and brad pit is on a gee haaad and his gang puts on masks and has a gunfight with those suybsertviant to the regent

man this place is a dump and war zone

its like detroit or something!

1 of brads homies gets capped and they leave him and run

when a regentman somes in, the shot gut fakes being dead and caps him b4 biting it

wait, he's still got some life and this cop asks where brad is and when he sez f u, cop capps him

so the news slants things for the regent andn 1 guy oes to this stone hutt like its the 3rd world or w/e and under the floor is brad

turns out, the place they went to was a fake peace thing as a trap to waste em

then a choper goes by and brad wants to do violence to make them listen to em

so bradmo shaves his face and probabl;y his a55 and goes to soviet new york and meets a judge who sides with him

judge sayts people dont get whats going on in soviet ireland and judger wants tyo help bradmo get cash

brad gets a place to stay with a cop and the cop is indianna jones and han solo b4 disney f'd him

he's got an americano familio and brad sez hes got a construction job

they have dinner and ford has a bunha daughters and he never had corned beef and cabbage

they talk nabout nhis ireland life and 1 little girl asks if brad pitt has a gf as even little girls wanna b0ne him

so at work ford talks to a guy who looks like on jeremy and brad gores to meet a homie and they pal around

sdo later ford and the cops chase a black hguuy and ford jacks a taxi to get ahead of the black guy and takes him down

turns out he stole some c0nd0ms and was too embarrassed to bring em to the cash register and stole em

so ford lets him go

btw this was rated 18+ in america, ireland and pg in singapore and 12-15+ elsewhere

so soviet brad pitt gets a cr-ppy boat and wanna get missiles to sneak back ti a55 hole ireland

meanwhile ron jeremy wants to raise pigs (to b0ne??)  and harrison go top the slums to deal with a mexican fam

the dad mexican pulls a gun and ron jeremy speaks italian to him and they fight

so brading meets a guy to get missiles

later ford has a nice family moment and talks with braditz about soviert irelsand

so later ford drops putt at a cionstruction site and he b00bs it i mean books itto work on his ocean cr-pmobile

so brads homie sez the missile guy called and wants the money

later braditz delivers a poackage to a PLACE AND SEES AN IRISJHJMAN WOMAN

irishman woman meets him atr a skating rink ANDF shhe sezz shes his friends sisater

so brad pittzer haS AN A55 LOAD  of money and hides it and goes to Church with hasrrioson and fam

nowadays theyt'd make the church guys look bad, but here its not

so fords kid (not adam driver or shaia lebuff) is confirmed and theres a partty

they dance irishness and play music irish and irishman womAN SEZ his homie got it and the regents forces might know stuff from him

he meets irisghmamn woman who sez to hold off on the missaile plans and bradinger z wants to retyurn to soviet ireland and she wants tio go with him

brad tells missile guy he can't get em and to hold on but missile guy sez he canm't return em aNDF ITS GONNA COST HIM a lotta cash

so brads talking with the irisahman woman andthese freeakin irish talk so soft its hard to heaR

they indfda kiss while standing up and i think in the real version they were b0ning

later ford aND RON JEWREMY go after a guy who broke into a car and took a gun and runs after firrinbg on em

perp throws the gun away when running from ford and ford lets him go to pick up the item

then detective ron jeremy goes after him not knowing he trwew the guin and caps his a565 back to h e double new york

harrioson tells him about the gun and ron jeremy throws the gun by the perps hands

in a bar they play the song from Ghost andlater ford is disgruntled over the perp getting it

why wound you tell a stranger trhis?! it can be used in trial!

also ford sez the perp didn't have a hard record (which means they only caught him for that)

ford barfs like he just read the disney star wars and says he onmly fired a gun 4x in his career

ford asks if bradinging shot anyone and he sez how his dad got wacked

btw, this is cuz of the queen forcing ireland to bow to her monarchy

if it werent for her and henry 8 deviating from the Church to b0ne more chix, there wouldnt be this

later ford tells his woman aBOUT ron jeremy and now ford wants to reture

woman sez ford did more good than bad and ford sez he lied about the perp

woman reveals she was the only female irioshgman who didsnt wanna marry a cop

so later ford and not leia go to fords home to b0ne and ford fights a masked guy

after beatintg him out aanopthef guy summons and bewats on ford buity braditz comes in and beats em

then a 3rd guy comes in with a shotgun on his woman andthe cops are comming so maskos book it

ford;l its ok, nobody got hurt!

me; yash, those hammer fists and elbow smashes didnt cause danage

so later the cops show up and brad goes to missileguy and kneecap shots a guy working for him

he';s crippled now!

oh and brad knows missile guy was behiund the attack

this is what happens when you deal with crooks! they do crimes!

what next? expecting a drug dealer to sell yhou healthy stuff??

aT HOMe ford notices the maskers were in brads room

brad is shown his  homie who we thik was dead i thiunk and brad is beat up and told to get the money or hes tosast

at home ford finds the cash and irish passportsor fita or w/e brad is

ford calls a guy, oh its ron jeremy, and ford confromts brad for briunging vcrime to his home

brad sez sorry and wants to go but ford sez he knows brads gonna use the cash to ice people

bradf goes on a soft tirade about how being irish s-cked and the brits drove him to it

ford pulls a gun on bradula and ron jeremy comes in andarrests brad

why not just tell em u owe moneyu and ur friends iced ifg he dont pay?

so after a long a55 drive through the ciuty and acroioss the bridge from x men 3, theres a truck in the road and ron jeremy gets out to bicker with pushy new uyorkers

brad beats out fdord and gets out but ronb jeremy rys to stop him

brad caps him after having him at gunpoint and ron jeremy dumba55l;y tries to pulls a gun and drab beats out ford and runs

later the f bi comes in and chats with him about brad being a killer on the loose

a stiff upper crust brit who capped the friend at the start comments on fdord being an irishj and has been given authority by the gov top do what he wants to stop brad mpit

ford dont wanna help as england is the opposite oif america and he knows the brits are gonna ice brad

so brad goers to meet millsie guy (whos totally not gfonna ice him after getting the dough) and brings the missiles

they throw tyhe homies head to them as they bit it off or w/e and brad gives them the cash

in the bag is a blast that takes out a guy and brad takes out 1 guy, uses him as a shield, and uses the guys gun to tyake the other guys out, including missile guy

brad executes the missile guy and meets irsihman woman who sez he better lay low

he dont care and seems to be going on a kamikaze attack

ford goes to a high class party and meets hudge who he asks what the money is 4

he tells jufddge he thinks its about guns and that his fam was mugged and judge wants him toi droip it

ford wants to know where brad is and beats the info outta him

thern sees irishman woman and runs after her

man this is a big a55 house

she sez bradlingers not there and he hears a noise and goes upoand sees brad escaping the roofs

brad gets away saying to keep away and ford grills irishman woman for info

ford sez he understands fiat and sees how it couldve been him but hes gotta bring him in

ford tells her theres a brit who icd the rest of brads unit and ford wants to save brad

bradzinger z i mean foird goes to the boat as i guess irishman woman told him and brass is there with trhe missiles

ford jumps on the boat just as iuts going asd he got there in time and holds badlinger at gunpoint

brad sez to go home to his fam and hes not going back and brad vanishes using irish black magic

ford lurks around the boat hes never been on after brad whos been living there and they shoot at rach other

ford took a hit and brad has ford at gunpoint

but then keels over foir having bin hit

this is kinda like greed by erich von stroheim where the 2 guys who were friends are not rivals and dying in the middle of nowhere

brad goes on a wordy monoclogue and sez frtods a good man and frod sz he wants to get em back to shore

eventually brad blacks out and is probablyu in h e double england and ford tyakes the wheel to bring em back to really anti subtle music

then credits to msuic like in the crow

the end

that was pretty good

its got that 90s feel and stylke and good acting and msuic

it tells a good story and shows how bad both the english and irish are

good morality and duality of themes with the honest cop and the malcontent

sorta like law and order meets silent films like flesh and the devil

glad i saw it

for the devils own 2 i want the brits to continue their opppression of the iroish and basically go around having pubnlic executions of traitors to the regent and forced neutering of irtish to stop themn from makine more irishmen. eventully the international community hasd enuff and shuts off england to the world and they decrode to a wasteland of cannibalism and rotting slums. also its a 32/64 bit n64, ps1, sega saturn ds and psp gamne where you go around an open world and survive until the brits collapse and ftreedom returns.