Thursday, November 11, 2021

Dear John Review

Note: My spelling is frech from the john!

Dream John

This is my review on Dear John from 2010 (the year of Transformers Season 3 in Japan and Robotech Season 1)

Its directal by Lasse Halstrom who did ABBA The Movie, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Chocolat, The Shoipping News, Casanova, and Nutcracker and the 4 realms

Its based on a book by Nicholas Sparks (Like the guy Sparks from Rootech?)  who did The Notebook, Message in a Bottlwe, A Walk To Remembver and other stuff i never saw

it made an a55 load of money but got cr-ppy reviews

It stars channing tatum, amamnda seyfried from mean girls, Henry Thomas ffrom E T/Legends of the Fall/Gangs of New York and Ouija: Origin of Evil, Richard Jenkins from The Shape of Water (fish man b0ning)and The Indian in the Cupboard, Scott Porter fromSpeed RACER and Prom Night Reboot and Scarlet Spider in the 2010s ultimate Spiderman, Cullen Moss from the reboot of Birth of a Nation and some other guys I never heard of

I never saw this before but imma give it a chance

So after liuke 2 mins of creditrs we get this soldel saying how after he was shot in war; he had a memoroyof money being made and how hes like a coin in the army thats damaged

the last thing in his mind b4 he went out was a girl

then him surfing and crediuuts and seeing peopple at a doc where this chicks bag falls in the sea and he gets it

so chick invites him to dinner or something and later he's at a party and its revealed channings in the army in summer 2001

watch digimon! its cool!

this creepy kid hugschick and kid acts weird as dad greets channingt

they go and chick sez kid never talks to anyone but talked to channer

atnight he sez his job is boring but scary at times and she goes on about how the moon is big rising and small in the sky

but channing sez its never bigger than his thumb and he starts a campfire on his own, which impresses chichj

man channings not a great actor

kinda bland and low emotion

at least he's got his male str-pper bod

so chanula goes off and dad and kid give him a ride as kid throws a GBC and spazzes out

dads wife is out doing sh-t and after he drops chan offf, he sez if chan hurts chick, hers gonna snap a leg bone, cuz her dads out and someone has to say it

so the next day chanter (is channing the male chantal? Like Michael and Michelle, or alex and alexis?) tells his dad hes going oput and at the place chick meets him; guys are not fond of blackasaur chanula

so they talk and she wants to know more of chanzilla and meet his dad

they go back tohis place and dad colects coins and chick isd interested in it

he lknow a lot of trivia about coins and chantel t-tsuck don't like him showing his coins off

later he drops her off and shesez his dad loves him

after more surfing he meets her again and she shows themn a home being rebuilt after a hurricaine (i prefer turrican)

she dont smoke drink or b0ne and he wants to know her flaws and she sez she thinks swear words but dont say em

imagine tewlling a MILLENNIAL"I;'M THINKING SOMETHING OFFENSIVE" and they freak out over thoughts

so then it rains and they take cover and he reveals he got a scar from a fight or somethingf

she thinks people are scared of him but he sez he used to be darker and edgier and now afer bewing in the army; he's different

The news: tonight! A place where men are given guns and trained to kill! They call it: The Army! But we call it: The kill bot factory!

so they make out in the rain AND we montage them being together and romantic

in his place they play around and she screams and laughs as dad hears and is confused

these kids 20 years ago! Not like when I was a Teen! Wait! I WAS!!

later chantewl test tickles finds chicxk on a beACH kinda bummed shes gotta go back to school and in 012 months they can return

oh and i think hes going back to the servive

he sez he's gonna be back for good

guy in scream 1; i'll be rught back!

she wants to teach special ed now after being with chanz dad andchanno dont get it

she sez she know about autism and channing gets triggered rthat she thinks his dads auristic

i blame the flu shots

so he goes off and a guy hassles him so he beats himdow, and 2 other guys, including kid dad and goes off

chan goes to see chick but kid dad sez ses out and forgives hi for his headshot

chan writes a note  for chic and at home dad makes lasagna

then chick comes by and forgives him and sez sorry andgives him a note

she goes in for lasagna and her note sez she fell in love with him in 2 weeks but now thery got a year apart

she goos oof then chanmo goes off to war and reads her note saying she wants him to write everything to her

So I read this movie is about autism and didn't know if Channing was the guy with it as his acting is kinda monotone

so hes sent on missions in some cr-ppy country without internet or post offices andhas to do aero mail

he mails her and she mails back and tsaalks about the autismo kiddo and nowe horses can sense evil and danger and how autusmoes can too

you mean: Ki?

she wants to open a CAMP to let kids of autism ride horses

good f--k!


so chanpa gets movedf out and chick goes to see dad and he shoews her his 78 jefferson muel; his fave coine

candel tells chick as a kid he got an icecream and the penny was weired and dad looks into it

turns out; its a muel; a defectivce coin that got threough

acollecter trys to buy it for 20$ and dad senses his ki and goes toget it looked at and its ovwer 4000$

if he holds onto it; in years it'll be alot of bucks

dad went autristic over rare coins andchanning became a c-ck sucker teen who rebelled and they fell out

at scthool they hear the gov took out the tQv\/3rz and the army guys wanna extend theirtour to fight for the country

ther head of the group sez to take a few days to think it through

so they get a few days off and chandu goes across trhe sea to meet chick and they make out in front of everyone

they go back to dads place and she wants him to met her rents

he made meat loaf and they go off but he has anautism attacka dn dont think he can do it

he gets out and walks home but they take him home

chandelr has 1 bnight here and they go without him

at the party is the guy ho hassled him and chanton dont like him

hasler sez sorry and candor meets chicks dad and kid dad is there and sez his wife is on vaation

i assum ehshe's been iced and is hidden in his freezer or a back wall

channing sez he waited for his mom to return and she never did and  kid dad sez "if t5he worst thing his dad did was protect him; thats not bad"

the guys at the party say how the war will go on past the next few years and chick hears

she's bummed that he's going of for another 2 years and he asks her what she weants and she sez to come with her

then wer get a long love scene of tyhem undressing and making out and eventually b0ning

then chanlua i meant to say chanula liek blacuka i mean blacula, goes to go moff to the war and sez bye to his dad and chick

dont do it!

she needs you more than the gov!

so chanenstein agrees with his droogs to exend his tour and we getta montage of him in the 3rd world sending love notesd to his chick

later chick sends chanenstein a break up letter and it busts him up

he can't take it and pulls out ohis firtearm, puts it in his mouth, closes his eyes, and blows his whole head off!

jk really he burns all his letters

so later they're drivign and dinf these guyes and look around ther area and chantor gets capped

wait its anothe rof his men

then channing gets capped a few times and a firefight breaks out

so we're right back where the movie started and now he wakes up in a hospital in Germany

so he's got a fewe bullet holes and hsi arms kinda f'd and wants to extend his term but is told to go home

the head guy is going off to his fam but tautshas nothing left to live fgor as i guess he dont care about his dad, and goes back to war

then its the fistant futuer year of 2007,, when the american headmaster cartoon happens, and hes sent home and his dads in a coma from his brain blowing out and as he wasn't there; no one knew how longh he was out

so at dads place he looks at the coin that f'd him andm goes back to the hospital to talk to dad

dad reads a letter write by chanfel, or tries to, until channing does it for him

he reads that the 1st thing he thought b4 blacking out was coins and goes on wehat he started the movie with

he gets teary and dad holds his hand and hugs him

its actually kinda movbing

then he goes in the sea on a surf bot in a storm like thgat dream i had of being at the beach in da rain the other day

he goes underwater to die but i guess changes his mind and ghoes  to dads fduneral

he goes by thishorse thing and sees a shadowed over chick and eventually we see its chick

she started her brony ranch and tells of his dads icing and ther ranch f'd out after 1 summer from being too expensive

he sez hes going backafter settling his dads issues

her also sees a wedding photo of kid dad and her

but kid dad is dying andthey go to see him with his cr-ppy a55 bears shaved off

the kid is grown and less mental and kiod dad sez he loves chick and is glad his kid will be looked after, but chick still loveschanning

who'd you rather b0ne? elito rom ET or magic mike?

chick drives not gambit from ex men back and sez theres an experimental treatment for kid dad and they need money

at dinner he asks her why she sent the letter and she sez she couldn't cuz hearing her voice would change her mind

she b--ches more about how hard it was for her to deal with kid dad and kid and other cr-p

she shows her letters she saved anmd he spills drink on her and she changes

she sez bye and wantys him to say it and he just sez bye and goes out

he goes home and gets the coins asnd sells em to this collecter bt the mules gotta stay together

he keeps the one that started it and goes back to h-ll world and uses the coin fort choosing things

chick writes to him saying kid dad got an anon donation that covered his costs and he got to come home and settle things

later chanzuillas tying his bike up and sees her in a wqindow and they hug

the end

that wasn't so bad

channings noiit a great actior but he got it done

good music and filming and story

its got some heart

i enjoyed it and it shows how lifew can go

for dear john 2 i want it to be in the 2020s and due to his military contract: the gov has the right to use his body for experiments and tests. This results in him getting cyber implants to make him able to punch through walls and people. Nowe he's back in the service and is in bio armor and fights enemy forces in missions in ruined citioes and gains access to stronger items as it goes on. Its also a 32/64 bit MetroidVania game on Sega Saturn, PS1, N64, GBA and Panasonic 3DO where you play as Channing and do thas.

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