Posse Review

 Note:L I aspewell coqwboydian

Posse

This is my revieew on Posse from the disdtant future year (to Erich Von Strohweim) nof 1975 (40 years befoore Transformers The Movie)

Itds directed by Kirk Douglas who alsdo did nothing I saw

it stars kirk douglas fropm 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea\Spartacus\The War Wagon\the tb movie Inherit the Wind\The Simpsons\Touched by an Angel, bruce dern from Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte\The War Wagon\Hang 'Em High\the 70s The Great Gatsby\Wild Bill\Small Soldiers\The Glass House\King of the Hill, Bo Hopkins from American Graffiti\Midnight Express\Phantoms\The Andy Griffith Show\The Rockford Files\The A-Team\The Angry Beavers, James Stacy from Highway to Heaven, Luke Askew from Cool Hand Luke\The Green BeretsEasy Rider, David Canary fropm Hombre\Law & Order\Touched by an Angel, Alfonso Arau from nothing ore samma saw, Katherine Woodville from Star Trek\Little House on the Prairie, Mark Roberts from It's a Wonderful Life\The Rockford Files, Dick O'Neill from Gamera, the Giant Monster\Good Times\Sanford and Son\The Incredible Hulk\M*A*S*H\Growing Pains\Father Dowling Mysteries\Mad About You\The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air\Home Improvement\Boy Meets World, Melody Thomas from Charlie's Angels\The Rockford Files, and the rwst aint on  aback door gender offender camndy a55 girly maN WIIKIPEDIA

i saw this b4 and its pretty good

ooh its basaed on a storey by Larry Cohen, hes good

so it starts with feet moving around and the guy lighting up a smokeb4 walking out and riding off

brudce deern, not back door bruce from the show about the 5kanks, follows and the smoker repruts to michael douglas sr that "hes in there" and the posse rides up with torches and lights the barn up

kinda like in the patriot where the brits locked the Humans in a church and torcherd it

azx the guys in da barn try to escape, theyn get capped and kirk douglas the dad of michael douglas but not the REAL mike douglas from Batman and Beatlejuice, takes out a guy and then we get title and credits to a train going aklong the mad max wasteland of uncivilized America in the `1800s

k d has 1 guy bandaged upo and they are bringing him in and 1 guy brings a box of something through the train with the horse area, like in robotech how the sdf-3 had veritechs in it to launch

k d is running for senator and a photo was taken of him taking in strawghorns gang by bruce dern the dad of the chick from jurassic park

if he dont get bruce, he dont get elercted

this is colored and quite widescreen with a widescreen tv having black bars

so ther guy they caught bit it and rtghe train stops to dump it in the wasteland to b eaten by chupoacabra and wait its one of their guys who got it wounded in the battle and they beerry him

like the grey fox from 82 or w/e, theres a lot of b/w photoes of the modern day guys like in the peroid

1 guy gors in a bar and celebrates k d getting in but bruce shoots him a few times with i assume a hammer gun as he flies out the window and the bullets usually go through a guy instead of sending him flying unless they hit bone or w/e

so the guy he capped tyhroguh a window is in the next dinmsnion ro the shadow realm or went baxk to his home planet and bruce j=rkoff goes off to j=rkoff but k d gets him at gunpoint and arrests him

wait its not k d its some 70s p0rn0 guy with a moustache

bruce sez to leave him and he'd live and as he goes  the guy calls to him and aims but bruce senses his ki or w/e and puts a hole in him

a double amputee comes in and comes backcuz he knows cripples cant be killed in 70s movies and runs the printing press to make a story of strawhorn going nuts in his area

so the train come sin and not up the mountains anus as it screams "i dont consent! noooooooooooo!" and k d and his droogs come otu with horses a55es and the rest fo the horses

k d comes out on his white horse and is told the straw guy is still out there and hes a marshallnand commisioned to capture them

he's interviewed and seems fair liek tom selleck in maguk pi i mean blue bloods or optimus prime in the 80s transformers

the double amputee is photographed and i think he lost his limbs in the civil war as yanmkees cawed em off and lauged as he screams and they j-rlked offto his agony

bruce strarhown bern goes by this cabin and this mecxxicoalmost snipers him like harambe of jfk and talks with him

some scuzzy guys playt baseball which i';m not sure existed back then and devolve into fightiong which i hope dont devolve tino em b0ning and eating each other

bruce banana sez i meen seez em and sez they are gonna jack a trin where bruce ets 50% and the rest goes to em and he's the brains of the operation as these peiople are prettyy much drooling apes j-rkinn off on the floor like teenagers ans asmoking chronic

he sends em to get ready and b--ches at the mexico for egtting him cr-ppy guys but the meixco sez he only had like 2 dfays to get em

bruce sez hes got a half dozen guys in a posse afgter him and 1 is k f i mean k d and plans an ambushwhen they get clopse enuff

the posse comes closer and k f i mean k d sez to come off the horse like with raoh and ken and has his gues go on foot by a bridge and fire on the sheds

the inbred guys in there open fire even though they were outta range and the posse takes cover and counter attacks

some devolved guys try to escape in the hole in the floors a55 but are snipered like harambe and that cheif head irish man prewsident jfk and bruce and mexico have enoiugh of this cr-p and book itas k d seez

k d goes agtert em and snipers a guy riding a horse and i tuinki its the meixco and bruce scurriues around with his firearm dfrawn

k d gets him at gunpoint and arrests him

he puits the gun in his motuh and says "you wanna bet i got any shots left? one wayy to find out" and pulls the trigger, to show its empty, then sayd "must be your lucky day" then jams the barrel in his eye and pops it saying "this =is the 2nd place prize"

jk rreally he brings him back to town tied up on a horse's 155

ampuree goes tyo get the story and tells his employee to redo the type and do a new story

the press gets a photo like peter palmer in sodoman 3 the black spurmbyote and things seem pretty calm in here witht eh girls in town who dont have man parts being into the posse guys

k d sends letters out to the guys he wants contacted about his win and senxs a smithy and catrrpenter on a train to make a jailcell in there for the convicted

he meets this blonde who runs Z hotel and the towen heads are nice to him but he sez he came to do a job

the amputee goes in to intervirwe the srtawhorn and gives him a smoke and buce strawhorn sez "tell em im onnocent, a ictim of circimstance, mistaken identity"

guard wont let bruce have a match and k d sez how the papers dont back him then amputee goes t0o k d tio complain that the deputee dont let him have an interview with bruce

this is in Texas which is necer soviet cuz they are manly and cool

k d sez that apmutee is against his campaign and ampuitee sez he was in the service and is butthurt over his c o beijng ahead ofg him promoted and hes a civilian

also amputee b--ches about k d havign ampbition and liking the railroad and has it in for kd, which is proof the press is evil and the evnemy of da perople

like many beta males, hating on alpha malkes for being cooler than the/them

sso theres a hootenanny and people ceklebrating and sparklers and k df iss the hero who gives a speech of how he caught ir wacked every crook he wwent after

some teens go in da jail andwait its da train as k d bashes crooks for stealing from hard working heroes and how people celebrate them

like rappers andpeople who chop up kids or purvoes

so he goes on about his posse being the best and honors the sherrif who bit it and prays for huim silerntly

so this chbick takes off her top anbd makes out with a guy and they blurr out her sideb-00b even though theres no nips and fighting games show more

so strawhorn steals the keys and loclks the sell but sherrif pulls a gun and returns him t0 his power confined

k dd goes on aboit protectintg them from crooks who destroy the land, like lin con or bi den or presidebnt huseuin and will run for senate

so da next day the k d sees the bruce and sez he trhrowes him off the timetable and asks what he rthought of the speech

k d gives him a match then lights his smoke with his own by pressing faegs together

k d sez he's wn election by catching hhim and bruce sez k d might be the prez

they talk on k d taking out bruces dudes and burning his money even though bruce stole it and had it commin

bruce sez he regrets capping da sherruf cuz it shouldsbe neen k d

after b0ning the chicks in the train, the chicks go off and k d goes to the presidental sweet for the blondes hotel

she wants to b0ner him but he dexclines as he dont want hiv or w/e they had in the slavery days br4 da guv made bthat

its stioll night and not the next day cuz i was wrong b4 and then it really is da next daye and marshal k d is ridfing on his milky whitye horse and is ceklebrated

they put bruce diungus in his cell on the train and it leaves witrrh the 5jkabnks who b0ned the posse boys seeing em off

bruce steppeed in horse cr-po and gets a broom to clean hisds shoe and fakes having horse sh-t in his eye to get a guy clean it out but the guard dont fall fpor it

he takes the twine holding the brook on off and as this goes on, the big wigs in Texas congraduaste the k d

bruce banana bootychats with the gfuard as k d sez hes leaving his train the last time and is proud of his men

the men wanna know whaty'll happen to em after k d is elected andk d sez he got an offer for em at 100$ a month as raiulroads security force but 1 of the posse is a red but k d sez they'd getta round that

i thought he was japanese

so bruce starts a fiore wuith the match he got from k d and when guard goes to put it out, he garroted him, took his gun and shot off the door lock

he has guard tied to the celll and jumps out on a horse but the horse f--ks out and he has to gewt back on as the defence force launches the hovertanks i mean horse A55ES

k d leaves the guard tied to the gate as punishment for his f--k up like hes starscxream

so breuce longfelklow goes off and the forces chase but he was hiding and they went by then takes the train in reverse as it burns

how does he know how to operate a train?

so k d's stuinmmt doubl;e gets on the train and k d breaks in but no bruxce until he turns and sees him coming from the foor o mean roof andhas him at gunpoint

he begings sodomizing him wiith a gun to the back of his headas kirk screams and vomits

jk really he ties him up and theres dino might in the train and the fire is reaching it

brucxe butt hammer shoots out a telegraph wire as they go by on a train andthe train enters a tunnle but not an anus as the hill toip zone screasms "i didn't consent" and the burning smoke makes em cough cuz its not from a faeg

in townmthe amputee slave or employee gets the type face ready and the train is comming in as this nerd eats fried chicken and seez trhe long flaming train

the 1800s fire guys go in abnnd the train slows at reacjhing the arewa as they hose it off like those blobs on the learning channel

bruce brings out k d and nerdlinger seez and uses the telegraph but it does jack sh-t and jack is j=rkin off on the floor to the sailor moon monsters

bruce brings in k d whgo's over his shoulder like a sack of used spurm and goes to a room in the blondes hotel

the people in town wionder what to do and wheres the posse and why pay taxes if they get f;d like this

1 thing goes wrong and they get rreaxy to go mad max

so blonde feeds kd but noit kraft dinner as hes tied up abnd bruice eats and they talk and blondde goes toi get pie

kirek getsd the keys but is tyaken back by bruce the bruce and e sees the fire was put out

bruce talks with k d about the apprioaCHING POSSE AND  they talk about what the bruce wants

the possereturns like batman or supoerman but good like batman and k d offers to give him a horse asnd a head start but sneak kicks him and fight but as he dont know shuus nanto sei ken from hokutoi no ken, is beat dowen

k d dont want his men to see him handcuffed andthe posse gets ready to take on the bruce who makes k d send the guard up unarmed

bruce wants hhis 40 000 $ but it was burned so  he gives him 10mmins to get the money or he'd waste the k d and k d sez to do it

the mernb loot the town for randsome which they couldn've asked fopr it to save the sgerrif or marshall and it wwould be ok as hes the town hero

b4 times up the gruad brring in 30 000 $and bruce sez they can have the money and get 6000 each

k d sez to return it but  bruce sez honest men stay honest when paid, and k d was gonna use him toi get to the senaTE

the men are unsure WHAT TO DO and 1 guy they jkacked firess at em so they return fire and end him

dumba55! you firtes on the cops!

the men go with the bruce aNDBLONDE GETS K D OUT and k d tells em to arrest bruce but they lerft with him like starsacream as bruce tells ejm not to like paascow in pet semetary

he vows to get em like begeta after he found out the hhohan took his fragon ball and sits down by a  banner welcoming him seeing its all f';d

gotta be k d

the end

that was pretty good

clever twist where the good guys go bad, kinda like with akira or berserk

good acting and writing and filming and the music works

its got good flow and dont drag and goes at a good poace and isnt  million things all at once

the bad guy kinda wins here  but unlike devil with m nighty shamelon, its not shown as a good guy win

this is a 70s film so they had more edge like in devilman or violence jack

the guys are smart and askilled and not loswerrs and theres nbot really a traditional good guy bad guy thing

itsd a twist on the western and larry cohen did it again, a well made idea done right

also star wars ripped it off with anakain and kylo going bad

for Posse 2 i want kirk douglas to get a new crew and go on a gee haad on the bruce for ruining his chances for senate and corrupting his men, he';s got a chick whos a female body builder and a tech guy who makes steampunk gadgets and they go around the wasteland and ruined towns to get the posse he trtained one by one in death matches to get to bruce to avange his mens honor. also its a 16 bit fighting game whwere ytou play as the tech guy in steampuunk mech armor, the female body builder or the kirk doug;leas AND TAKE ON THE POSSE ONE BY ONE, its on sega genesis, snes, tg16m atari jaguar and gba and theres also a free mode wuhere you play as any of the charcaters ansd they have devilved a bit tonto monstrous formes from eating people and the wendigo curse getting em