The Naked Spur Review

 Note: I spell el nude-oh

The Naked Spur

This is my review on The Naked Spur from the distant future year of 1953(70 years before Robotech II The Sentinels)

Its diectal by Anthony Mann who did T-Men

It starz Jimmy Stewart from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\It's a Wonderful Life\Rope\Rear Window\The Man Who Knew Too Much\Vertigo/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\The Rare Breed\Firecreek\An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, Janet Leigh from Angels in the Outfield\Touch of Evil\The Manchurian Candidate\Night of the Lepus\Halloween H20: 20 Years Later\Touched by an Angel, Robert Ryan from Bad Day at Black Rock\King of Kings\The Dirty Dozen, Ralph Meeker from The Dirty Dozen and Millard Mitchell from The Day the Earth Stood Still.

I never saw this b4 but heard of it on TCM adds, but I'm watching this on Grit

revewers loved it and it was in the national film registry to be preservd along with Birth of a Nation, Airplane!, Back to the Future, Blazing Saddles, The Blue Bird and other things

so we gt title and creits to action music in full color and proper fullscreen

this cow boy sneaks up on a guy with waling like hes got rickets and sticks up a bearded guyand takes his gun

its jummy strwwert whos sticking the guy up and beardo is trying to be friendly but bimmy is on edge but puts his gun away and is in a55less chaps and looking for a guy who iced a marshall in unsoviet kansas

beardo saw a dead fire a while back and immy pays beardp 10$ not if he shows him the way and 10$ if he finds him but the perp might be waiting for em and might hamrmabe em like j fk

beardo shows himthe way and wonders if the perp has aid but not aids like all those celebs

as they go by a cliff these rocks fall and they escapeand bimmy gets his rifle and fires at a guy up there and more rocks fall so he runs off

bimmy has him trapped on the high ground and beardo wants to queer out but bimmy sez to fire on him every now and then and bimmy will sneak up

then in comes an indian fighter lt not leff ten ent like those candya55 canadians say cuz they dont speak endgliash right and the french the devolved ones spea isnt normal

bimmy has him at gunpoint and reads this note on hi saying hes been discharged dishonorably discharged like ba spurm cuz hes morally nstable as i guess hes b0ning guys he shouldnt

so bimmy and lt go up and  bimmy climbs a rope as lt covers him and as bimmy grabs a rock, it f--ks out and he falls

lt goes up and bimmy dont trust him cuz hes a purvurt and probably is gonna ice the guy and b0ne him then eat him like tht gay p0rn0 star in the soviet republic of canada

so beardo fire and more rocks fall and  lt goes up and gets the perp at gunpointand tells him to disarm but perp sez hes outta ammo

janet lee like robert e lee the american herosneak attacks him andperp grabs him and they fiht and lt backhands janet and figths  perp until bimmy gets up and thy detain the dup

lee the blonde is some guys daughter and is gay for perp who reveals that there was a 5000$ rewqrd and the bimmy tore off the bottom of the poster

theres a dispute and lt and beardo want some of the reward and he dont wanna share and blonde lee's horse has a gut full of disease and  bimmy wants to put it to sleep with a revolverand they'dnot wanna leave it for a bear to rip open

blonde spazzes out and perp sez they need more time and he needs her to hold things so he can be freed and f with em as she thinks hes innocent

bimmy caps the horse and it dont show it so he could have put the gun in its butt and blew it out and beardo gves back the 10$ as he wants more

so they go on and lt hassles with lee and jimmy sugests tiring her up hbut lt isnt into SM and likes how they fight back as i guess hes bio seuxal and not naecro seuxal

perp eggs on lt and lee dont like lt and beardo pans or god and not gold pa in dbaf where she goes ss3 and then ss5

perp sez they otta stay here the night and one of em might think a reward is split less between 2 instead of 3 but they go on

an indian sees em and they dont see him cuz hes a ninja or w/e and as it gets dark by the film being tinted they eat and perp eggs onbeardo and he likes the lee butshe dont like him

also lees fam is dead and when perp gets up immy almost caps hm cuz he thinks perp might jump him but not like b0ning

perp sez bimmy wants to ice him in "self defence" so its easier and f'd with his head with words and bimmy gets p-ssed and not in his a55less chaps

the next day they go on and perp tells beardo about gold and they kinda getta long

bimmy goes ahead and perp has an overdone affection with lee and tempts lt hinting bmmy might do something i think

bimmy and beardo scouting but not like the sailor scouts with mina being a curvy blnde with great legs and high heels and n orange miniskirt, and they see blackfeet indians who might not do anything to em but lt dont like em and wants to tak a different way

perp sez the indians would do evil things to em if caught and are out for evenge and lt books it as i guess he dont wanna get his parts slowly destroyed by apache or executed with hot coals 1 coal at a time

so the party goes on and the idnans come at em and stand menacingly and the party sloly goes by as the indians follow and the lt is hiding behind a tree with a rifle

lt opens fire and the indians go mental and the Amercians take cover and open fire

the perp is attcked by an indian with a knife but bimmy saves him and beats th indian dea dwht his gun but takes a bullet and evenatually they neutralized the reds

lt comes by and they yell at him for f--kin things up and he explains he dont't wanna be skinned and roasted over a fire (like what happened to the REAL rattcliffe in pocahantus) but bimmy goes on with a pbullet in his leg through his a55less chaps bleeding like a stuck pig thats b0ned dead by rednecks, except the pig is really a fat guy the hicks caught adn found sexy cuz he looks like a pig and they are gay furrys

so bimmy blacks outand they stop for the night thats really tinted daya nd bimmy is delerious and thinks lee is mary and tells her the war will only be a year and he'd be back and she can look after the farm and they;d get married and lee faks being mary

perp revals he signed his ranch to his woman so she could work it legal during the war and when he came back she sold it and ran off with another man and now  is bitter like bruce wayne in batman beyond

lee sez its not funny that perp laughts at bimmy beingf betrayed by b--chy bekka and  perp wants to ditech bimmy cuz he was gonna ditch em and only used e to get this far

this is like transformers how Megrtron tryes using lies to trick the good guys into betraying Optimus Prime

Or satan in the bible

Or the news making the Good guys look bad

so later 1 guy went off and bimmy lates i mean wakes up and lee has a clashing comfort with her and they are obviously gonna fall in love and have 500 babies and repopulate the earth after the nucular holocost

she sez perp is not her butt buddy and is taking her to soiet caliv=forna to ranch but immy sez perp is no good and is gonna lead her to ruinand she wigs out saying bimmy is oly into perp for the reward

lt comes back having made a map of the trail and  wants bimmy to come after recovering andnmeet up later where they'd wait for him and beardo sez he'd wait for him and bimmy reads the back of the discharge cuz hes morally unstable and devolved and bimmy will ride with em

perp loosens the saddle of  horse and they go onacross the ledge of a cliff and as perp talks, bmmys saddle f--ks out and he falls off the cliff but crawls back up cuz hes a bada55 and alpha male and not a candy a55 sissy emo beta male soy boy weener cleaner banana crammer frooty booty monkey junkie

so they go on andat night thats tinted day perp is gonna do something when bimmy sleeps and beardo snres and wakes immy and perp fakes sleeping

beardo goes off to do guard duty and immy covers blonde with a blanket

so it rains and they hide in a cave and perp has lee rub his shoulders as hes got a fetish and wants her to seduce bimmy but she dont wanna and thinks bimmy has no thngs for her

also he wants to have her distract him so he can bust bimmys brains with a rock

so latr she goes out and is gonna bring the dishes being cleaned by the rain in but bimmy sez it cant hurt it and they talk about dancing and their lives and bmmy goes on about his neighbors who were nice to him and how he wants to buy bakc his land but she thinks using the money for catching perp is like stepping on a grave and they smooch

as bimmy smooches the lee, the perp kicks over some rocks and the cave f--ks in and he tries crawling out the a55 of the cave ike a centipede but bimmy pulls him back

bimmy puts the gun in perps butt and sez "ur a55 is mine! And imma redecorate!" and blows him a 2nd anus!

jk really the guys had it with his sh-t and are gonna waste him andthey cut him loose and giev him a gun and tel him to draw but he dont and sez "if ur ogonna murder me, dont make it look like something else"

bimmy cant cap him in cold blood cuz theres a commandment against that, but if its war or to save someones life its kosher like if some druggie is beating ur head in the pavement and you blow him to h e double africa

so tey get to a river and lt has a dispure that devolves into a fight with jimym and eventually lt gets a gun ad is gonna blow out bimmys brains

bimmy makes the gun go off near his head which shoudl deafen him and he kciks out the lt and goes to drown himself in the river

he is rally onyl getts a head soak and beardo sez they are gonna stop for the ngiht here and perp ants blonde to ru his back and sez "can ja doo me?" and beado sez "let me do ja this time" which is a bit suspect

these strange bedfellows discuss private things likehow beardo wants to know hwere perps gold mine is and they go at each other to seduce the other to the side

its like with Edwards in Robotech II The Sentinels manipulating thing and at nigt beardo cutz free erp so he can bring hin to the mine and  perp wants lee to come sohe wakes her with his hand on he rmouth andthey sneak out

along the way perp sez SNAKE and not plissken and throws lee off and as beardo is looking, perp aims a gun and him and makes him gets off his horse

he makes beard take off his clothes and then bloews off his crotch with 1 shot and laughs!

jk really caps hi in the chest so thers no loose ends and blonde dont like this and he sez to do what i say or i'll knock some sense into ja like he's megatron ora gaijin

so he admits that he iced that guy that bimmy accused him of and as bimym and lt comes for him he aims and she shoves him to save the bimmy

he beats her out and bitty and wait i think its lt and bimmy is moving aorudn the side of the rock thing over a river witha gammy leg and uses his spur to get grp on the rocks

perp hears th spur clicking on the rock behid hima dn both cloib to meet at the same tme andbimmy thwos something i think a spur and lt puts like 5 bullets in hi perp like f--kin riki-oh

perp falls in the water and is getting away so lt goes after him and finds his body caught in some plants

dont worry, hes gonna be ok, he just needs some rest

lt goes in and ties a rope around the boy when you really only need the head and as jimmy pulls him over a big brown log but not human waste comes down and rams lit down the river to come back in the next movie for revenge

bimmy gets the corpse but you only need the head and the rest can rot and be used as dog meat but blone is p-ssed and wants him to leae it and bimmy sez hes taking it back for money to get his land

but bimmy breaks down and goes with her and digs a grave ven though he just needs the c-ck suckin head and then they go off

even though perseus took the medusa's head and imagine if billy i mean jimmy went in and said "I'm here for my reward I got the proof hes head" and oulls ou the head! The cops say "Uhhhghhg! WTF is wrong with you!?" and the skull sips out of the neck hople and leaves the skin in his hands!

the end

that was quite good

great acting and characters, ni e action, good music and well filmed

you could tell that a few guys were gonna get it bit i didnt expect the beardo

jimmy and janet do a good job and the others play the parts well

the characters all look and feel dinnerent like in Contra Hard Corps or X Men 2 Clone Wars on Sega Genesis

It packs a lot in but doesn't feel rushed and goes by at a good pace with good flow and no drag

Its well made and holds up and tells a good story with themes of temptation and corruption

Those who resisted Temptation like how Jimmy sisnt cam the bad gy when unarmed were able to win and those that gave in like beardo teaming with the bad guy or lt going after the body got it

kinda like a horror movi where the viergins survive, or Erich Von Stroheims Greed where goimg with the sin ruined em

i can see why its highly regarded

For The Naked Spur II I want it to be about Jimmy Stewart going to california with the blonde ut the lt survived and chases after em to get the body to claim the reward, and when they tell him they buried him, he don't buy it and tries to kill em so they have a cat and mouse thing as they try to get to civilization and avoid him until they get to the town and he's blocking the way and they gotta fight him in 1 last death match. also its a 128 bit survival horror game on Gamecue, Dreamcast, PS2 and XboX where you gotta do stealth and evave his detection and use traps to hold him off and divert him.