Field Of Dreams Review

note; typing still bad. maybe worse.

field of dreams

this is my review on field of dreams

I actually read the book in high school

it was called shoeless joe and had some differences

like kevin cpstner had a twin brother who left home to work at a freak show

in one flashback kevin Costner and the other kevin Costner get b0ners and measure em with a metal ruler to see if they are 100% identical

hope they wernt circimsized

I say that a lot when I watch "naked and afraid"

that show is awful

its just naked people suffering

adam and eve? more like dante's inferno!

also in the book they meet j d salinger

they changed it for the movie since I guess he didn't consent to being in it

I had an idea for a thing where they would be making a biopic on a dead actor

but one of his droogs is still alive and don't consent to being in the film(as he used to do drugs and b0ne a lot or w/e)

so they change 1 letter in his name and turn him black

ahhh yes, hackie chan, the black martial artist

steven steelburg

danny levito

ooh, its by universal

I liked the land before time

too bad they ruined it with endless sequels

ooh

burt Lancaster is in this

and ray liotta is shoeless joe

good music too

by james horner

so kevin Costner tells his dads backstory

he fought in ww1 and loved baseball

he had clashes with his dad and was a hippie in college

he met his wife, married, and the dad bit it

they bought a farm and he started hearing voices

that backstory was like 3 mins

alien soldier was almost 5 and was just scrolling text

in the cornfield kebin conytr hears a voice saying "if you build it, they will come"

as I grew up in da 90z, I saw parody's of this phrase often

he cant find any reasonable explaination for it

but he takes it well

at night he hears it again

the corn may be haunted

or maybe its space daemons

at the store the other farmers look at him queer for mentioning hearing voices

maybe the space demons are b0ning their cows

later in the cornfield, he keeps hearing the voice

he gets p-ssed but then sees a baseball field in his corn firld

he talks with his woman and sez it means showeless joe Jackson will come back

but hes dead

is this cornfield a gate to h-ll??

I should mention that shoeless joe and others in baseball were canned for being paid to fix the 1918 world series

kevin scrur is malcontent over not wanting to be his dad

is he gonna start cross dressing?

the next day he plows his corn and tells his daughter about shoeless joe

he sez jow wasn't trying to lose the game and played his fat a55 off

he turns his corin field into a b ball fierld

he also sez his dad once saw jow in a ball gamer under a fake name

then its Christmas

I should mention I don't care for baseball

I think its cr-ppy and s-cked

Americas past time my a55

its watching guys a mile away playing catch!

then they run in squares

its boring

once in high school we had to go to a game

I managed to bring my game boy advance and pokemon crystal and had something to do

in grade school I stayed behind in class and played on the computer when the class went to ballgames

I also didn't like school dances

the only sports I liked was dodge ball and scooter hockey(playing grade 1 hockey on boards with wheels)

I don't even like sports games on sega

later its revealed that they blew their savings on the ballfield

then a man shows up at the ballfield

its a base baller

wtf its been 30 mins(with commercials)

but nothing happened!

kecin sunitn turns on the lights and talks to the guy

wait, he just plays ball with him

is this like in yugioh where they communicate feelings by card games?

also, how'd he hook up a light system?

they introduce eachother and the baller is showless joe

joe sez losing baseball was like losing a limb

then they play ball more

this is kinda soothing

no music or words

just calm movements

joe tells about his good memories

I assume this is gonna get dark and disturbed soon

so is this really happening?

or is it in kevin scitng's mnd?

joe cant leave the play area

the kid asks if hes a ghost and he don't give a straight answer

joe sez theres others

kevin scoting sez they're welcome any time

when joe asks if this is heaven, kevin sez; its iowa

ih the 90s that was classic

so maybe kevin scoingt can ask joey what its like to bite it and where he's been the last few decades?

nahh!

they're gonna play baseball!

joe goes into the corn

the next day a farmer tries to help kevin ervinty but he just jokes

he's gonna have to start doing weiord p0rn0 to pay the bills

then more people are in the ballfiend

they're kinda see through

sometimes

the ballers argue and reveal they now time has happened since their games]

1 guy swears in friont of a little girl

she don't mind

the farmer talks wth kevin sctinger but he cant see em

oh, its the wifes fam

so I assume this is like in yugioh gx how only some can see spirits

the men are aware they're dead and how long its been and what year it is

then kevin hears a voice saying"ease his pain"

inside the wife warns that the PTA wants to ban books like the wizard of oz or diary of anne frank

when they took the bible out they started a slippery slope

at the meeting they wanna ban some p0rn0 by a commie named "Terrence mann"

one woman suggests he stopped writing cuz he j-rks off

the wife defends the writer

this movie tries to make the 60s period of malcontentary and drug use seem good

the women argue and nearly have a street fight like in Capcom vs SNK 2 EO

she forces a vote and compares the one against her to a nazzi and a commie

then uses blanket statements about freedom and the bill of rights to twist things

she wins the vote

kefin kostnar sez he's supposed to ease the pain of the writer

I wouldn't want my kids reading some p0rn0 in grade school

although I hear the new curriculum in some places is pretty explicit

teaching grade school kids about butt stuffing and gender perversion

these kids think santa and the tooth fairy exist

and they're teaching them about 30 genders

after a small montage of research, he gives a backstory of not jd salinger

his last story was about kevin seinty;s dad

also he liked baseball

the wife points oit good reasons why he shouldn't go on an expedition to find this writer

he sez he has a good feeling and its revealed him and his woman had the same dream about the writer

on the trip there he practices what he wants to say to introduce himself

then we get a montage of him searching for info

when they meet its james earle jones playing the writer

darth vader did p0rn0

the writer don't wanna see him but sees him anyway

hes kinda p-ssed off and disgruntled

he kicked out kevin scyunty for being from the 60s

but kevin scrut gets back in and fakes having a gun

the writer don't buy it and tries to beat klevins coastners a55 with a crowbar

kevin scrtyon explains he wants to take him to a ballgame and he read the writer wanted to play ay a field that was torn down

but the writer never even thought that

but he goes with him anyway

they go to a real stadium and the writer sez he wants to be left alone

he stopped writing as he got fed up with all those maniac druggies hounding him

at the game, the screen sez something in baseball but I don't get it

kevin deionst writes it down and gets bummed when the writer don't see it

they leave

once I was at a baseball game and got very foul gas

my dad called it, the 7th inning stench!

they part and as he leaves the writer reveals he saw the baseball text

they have to find a guy called "moonlight graham

they go on a road trip to minnesoda

he calls the wife but after they hang up her brother (the farmer) is there in a suit saying she didn't tell him

maybe they're inbreeding and trying to create some kind of super ginger(as both are ginger)

turns out moonlight became a dr and helped kids

then bit it in 72

they talk with geezers about moonlight

turns out he had no darkness

the writer calls his son after finding he's been calling him but got no answer and called the cops

the keven ciostysry goes for a walk and its now 72

I like the cool blue color of this night

he sees moonlight and they talk

moonlight carries an umbrella

in the book it was phaIIic

I think

moonlight sez he played 1 game, didn't do well and instead of going back to the minor league, he quit

he wishes he could've went to bat I the major leagues

kevin cosrtner sez he can bring him to a place with magic enough to make it happen

but moonlight don't wanna leave his homeland

this reminds me of yugioh gx where jaden goes to a time warp and faces yugi in a place with only them

kevin costny sez living his dream for 5 mins is awful

moonlight sez if he was only a dr for 5 mins it would be awful

on the phone the wife sez that they gotta pay or lose the farm

so kenvin costnor and da writer goes to the farm

on the way there they get a hitchhiker who plays ball

its the kid version of moonlight

kevin sentjer sez his dad s-cked at baseball so he forced his son to play

at 14 he read the writers book that f'd him up and made him stop

at 17 kevin kinger left home

kevin didn't see him agan

the dads hero was shoeless joe

they get to the home and the writer meets joe

also another team came out and they gon play a real game

moonlight plays with em

hes kinda cr-ppy

but he gets a score goal point thing(I don't know baseball)

the next day they're still out and the brother offers to buy the farm

kevin cerher sez no and his daughter sez people will comer to watch the game

the writer sez people will come and be basically hypnotized into coming and paying 20$ to see ghosts play b ball

we get a pro base ball speech about how its really american

but the brop spews doom and gloom saying he's gonna lose the place

we get a long stare of the ballers looking at kevin cester b4 he turns the bro down

after a scuffle, the daughter falls off the bleacher and bites it

but moonlight walks off the holy ground of baseball field and turns into burt lancaster

he saves the girl by getting a wiener out of her throat

but he cant return

Charlie! you cant go back!

we get a forced sad moment to make us feel about a ghost not playing a cr-ppy sport

he goes into the corn and I hope not to h-ll

then the bro can see the ghosts somehow

its not really explained

I guess the magic leveled up

the ballers are going back to h-ll for the night and invite the writer to go with em

but kevi sercedry goes mental that its not him

the writer revealed he did say the dream about playing ball with the place

james urkle jones dresses like my grampa  

he goes into da korn (eventually) and its revealed that one of the ghosts was kevin scerger;s dad

this whole thing was for him

but the dad sez it was for the keven secertner

his fam meets the dad but he acts like he don't know em

the dad asks if its heave but the keven sceredfer sez its iowa

the dad asks if theres a heaven

does this mean he was in h-ll?

what were his sins??

was he a degenerate?

then kened secret plays catch with his ghost dad

a good metaphor on how once malefic forces are removed, healing can begin on wounded souls

that hippie commie j-rk off writer went to h-ll and the dad's relationship with his son is restored

as it waS the writers book that f'd em.

the end

I liked this film

its good 80s/90s heart

it felt nice and has soft music

plus good themes

besides the pro hippie cr-p

the 60s were grotesque

I perfer the 80s

the raegan years

or the 90s

when animation was good

also

wtf

in the credits

the voice; himself

wtf 

For Field of Dreams 2 I'd like for the baseball field to have become more and more magical with each time a all player gets sacrificed by leaving the ground. Kwevin Costner keeps doing this to get more mass appeal so more people can see his ghost show. Also people don't really want baseball now that roids have become mandatory and games have become higher octane. So he starts having serial killer ghosts come up and have death matches. Soon its a tournament of the worlds greatest warriors and most f'd up killers and degenerates with them fighting to determine who gets to stay and who gets sacrificed to enter the human world for a few mins before returning to h-ll. Its also a fighting game on sega genesis and snes where you choose a historical figure and butcher others in gory matches. Also, the writers ghost is manipulating things for a malcontent uprising and has absorbed the lost souls sent to h-ll to become an abomination of grand perversion who absorbs other ghosts by b0ning them.