A League Of Their Own Review

note; base ball s-cked!

a league of their own

this is my review for a league of ther own

I never saw this b4 but heard of it on the much music or mtv or w/e show "back in" where they talked about 80s/90s cr-p

its got geena davis from beetle juice and

ew

Madonna

shes kind of a 5kank

makes sailor venus look... like a virgin!!!

its directed by the daughter of garry marshal, happy days creator

so it starts with these chicks talking

ew

rosie o donnel is in this

wtf hans zimmer did the music

so this chick goes to a baseball game

played by chicks

I don't even like normal base ball

and now its baseball lite?

so then we get a memory of ww2 how baseball might be shut down for the war

GOOD

whats more important?

playing catch?

or saving the world?!

imagine if Spider-Man just left some kids to die in a fire cuz hes playing sega

then its 43 and some chicks are playin baseball

spoiler; they s-ck

but the next player does better

after the game the chicks go back to the farm and milk cows

btu jon lovitz comes by as a base ball scout

but he doesn't want the player who s-cked

but the good player wants her on an a ball thrower

also threy'd make more than 2x as much as a b baller than a cow milker

they take a train to colorodo on their way to Chicago

there, chixcks are being trained to b ball

they otta use weighted clothing to increase their speed and skill

1 guy there sez if his daughter was a boy, they'd be in the big leagues

sounds like gender issues

lovitz turns down a good layer cuz shes gross looking

her dad sez he raised her like a boy

but the main chix get jon to reconsider

that's good logic, only getting stuff that looks good

that's why rise of the robots on sega was so good

played like a55 but had good graphixcs

they meet rosie and I think Madonna and argue

one throws a ball at main chix but the good player catches it with 1 hand

then we get some 1800s chixcks saying women in sports is gonna make em too manly

well look how things are nowadays

they were right! lol

then we get a training montage

then the main characters made da team

but 1 gurl cant read and don't know if shes on da list

she is

they reveal the uniform and for the 40s its too sexy

also theres no smoking drinking or b0ning

and they get make overs to look good

then tom hanks gets put in charge of a girls b ball teem

he busted his knee an used to be a ballplayer and drunk

later b4 da game tom hanks comes in and p-sses in the urinal for a long time

its so long they time it

what is this? autism powers international man of mystery?

he doesn't give em a line up and they make it themselves

they go out the crowd heckles em

so one chick throws a b ball at a guy saying words

I hate how chicks act violent when someone says words hey don't like

very uncivilized

then we get a newsreel telling us about the team

1 player needs to bring her son on road trips as her husband cant handle it

the kid is a fata55 who runs around screaming on da bus

the driver stops and walks off the job

1 chick tries to kill him with a bat

how feminist

also the kid eats too much chocolate

did they still put crack in candy in the 40s?

so the girls poison this higher rank womans food and makes her puke

I think its her chaperone

they go dancing while she suffers

1 teen who's driving offers to b0ne this chick

the almost b0ned chick warns the dancing chicks the lovitz is coming

if caught breakin da rules they're outta da league

also the gross chick is drunk and singing

so later its a game and tom hanks is not as drunk as usual

he gets more into commanding the team

one chick screws up and tom tirades her

so she crys

so he yells about him being calls a pile of pig sh-t by a manager at a game

1 guy tells tom to be nice to these chicks

so he sez he looks like a pee ness with a hat

so tom gets kicked out

man tom hanks is kind of an a55

later a guy sez something wrong and the chicks freak out over them maybe having to stop b ball

i'm not sure

I wasn't paying attention

later they leave church early for a game

tom sez; God knows we have a game

then we get a montage of they trying things to get more views

1 suggests her top falls open and her b00bs fall out

sounds like an anime idea

I think 1 gets married and goes off to breed with her husband til next season

that's why people get married

to breed

I gotta say, this montage is pretty good

way better than real baseball

once in high school we went to a baseball game

it was boring

ants hundreds of feet away playing catch

good thing I had my Gameboy advance and pokemon crystal

oh and f d r sez next year they wont need womens b ball

the war is going good

1 chick goes mental or something so tom hanks throws her in the shower and hoses her off

i'm not really paying attention

theres some more issues or something and the cr-ppy player gets traded

oh and 1 chick is in a dress that's tight by 40 standards

and plans to b0ne soon

lATER tom hanks finds he gets a bonus if they get to the world series

then a war department telegram guy comes in with a letter saying someone bit it in da war

tom hanks takes it and tells this chick named betty (who I have not recalled seeing b4) that her man bit it

oh joy

a tacked on forced sad moment in ths otherwise happy comedy

I hate that

that's why I liked commando with Schwarzenegger

no force sad time to bum us out

same with the 2004 Yugioh movie

and for some reason everyone hates those

so good player's husband returns and the hug

its kinda nice

makes me feel more positive

b4 this game, tom hanks signs a kids baseball

he writes to avoid a secks disease

better advice; stay a virgin!

so main chick (the good player(geena davis) )wants to quit

b4 the game, tom hanks leads them in a prayer

and then b4 the game the geen davis comes back

and tom hanks k o's the fat kid with a mitt

nowadays some wiener would get triggered by that

and him tirading the player

so they play the game in the final round of the tournament

mortal kombat!!

I think th ecr-ppy player is on the opposing team

she finally hits the ball on her 3rd try and runs around the square

but body slams into the final guard of the base

I think the cr-ppy player team won

I don't know baseball

and the head of the company funding gurls b ball sez they can keep doing it

maybe if they played in mini bikini's it would get views

cr-ppy player talks to the geenda davis and geena is gonna settle down and have kidfs

they reconcile and hug

btw the player kicked out of the team, working for a rival team and beating em, happened in real life

a Korean guy or w/e wasn't seen as good enuff for the winter Olympics a while ago

so he joined the modern soviet team and kicked their Korean candy a55

as they leave I notice a sign that sez "sold out"

looks like they didn't need the mini bikinis this time

wtf one teams logo is "dirt in the skirt"

sounds like they cr-pped themselves

what is this? the garbage pail kids?

then its the modern era of the 90s and the geezer chicks are the present versions of the team we just saw

they go to a b ball museum and holy c5r-p its fransis from pee wees big adventure

oh and tom hanks memorial is there for his b ball work b4 coaching

they open the womans area of the museum and the good and cr-ppy players reunite and hug

they take a picture and credits roll to 90s music that makes you feel

the end

huh

tea leoni bill Pullman and harry shearer were in this

and Shirley walker from batman the animated series did music

that was pretty good

when I saw bridesmaids I hated it and felt it proved woman based movies were cr-p

but this and my little pony show it can work

I actually was kinda moved by it

it has heart and feels

well made despite me having no interest in baseball

also

the whole "past story booked ended by modern stuff reminds me of an idea I had

a movie where it starts with a grown man on a farm talking about the time he became the man he is today

and the rest of the film is a younger actor playing him in the past.

but what if casting screwed up and no one communicated with anyone

and they got a white guy as the adult and a black guy as the younger version of him.

to be fair; movies have screwed up worse b4

but I liked this

its actually most grand

for a league of their own 2 I want time travelers to come to the 1990s and want to see the team play. but they didn't know the difference between the 1990s and 1940s and talk to the people like its the 1800s as they think "the past is the past". they get shown around 1990s America and are surprised they have things like men and women playing on different teams and people eating meat and males allowed to be manly. they try to force heir future way on the 90s but are shocked when the people don't crumble and bow to their demands. so they try attacking people physically but as they don't eat meat they are wieners. so they summon a swarm of future commies to take em down and change the past. its also a 16 bit sega genesis and snes baseball based beat em up where you play as cool grannys and beat the future hippies up with baseball bats and throwing baseballs through their candy a55 bodies.