Thursday, May 24, 2018

A League Of Their Own Review

note; base ball s-cked!
a league of their own
this is my review for a league of ther own
I never saw this b4 but heard of it on the much music or mtv or w/e show "back in" where they talked about 80s/90s cr-p
its got geena davis from beetle juice and
shes kind of a 5kank
makes sailor venus look... like a virgin!!!
its directed by the daughter of garry marshal, happy days creator
so it starts with these chicks talking
rosie o donnel is in this
wtf hans zimmer did the music
so this chick goes to a baseball game
played by chicks
I don't even like normal base ball
and now its baseball lite?
so then we get a memory of ww2 how baseball might be shut down for the war
whats more important?
playing catch?
or saving the world?!
imagine if Spider-Man just left some kids to die in a fire cuz hes playing sega
then its 43 and some chicks are playin baseball
spoiler; they s-ck
but the next player does better
after the game the chicks go back to the farm and milk cows
btu jon lovitz comes by as a base ball scout
but he doesn't want the player who s-cked
but the good player wants her on an a ball thrower
also threy'd make more than 2x as much as a b baller than a cow milker
they take a train to colorodo on their way to Chicago
there, chixcks are being trained to b ball
they otta use weighted clothing to increase their speed and skill
1 guy there sez if his daughter was a boy, they'd be in the big leagues
sounds like gender issues
lovitz turns down a good layer cuz shes gross looking
her dad sez he raised her like a boy
but the main chix get jon to reconsider
that's good logic, only getting stuff that looks good
that's why rise of the robots on sega was so good
played like a55 but had good graphixcs
they meet rosie and I think Madonna and argue
one throws a ball at main chix but the good player catches it with 1 hand
then we get some 1800s chixcks saying women in sports is gonna make em too manly
well look how things are nowadays
they were right! lol
then we get a training montage
then the main characters made da team
but 1 gurl cant read and don't know if shes on da list
she is
they reveal the uniform and for the 40s its too sexy
also theres no smoking drinking or b0ning
and they get make overs to look good
then tom hanks gets put in charge of a girls b ball teem
he busted his knee an used to be a ballplayer and drunk
later b4 da game tom hanks comes in and p-sses in the urinal for a long time
its so long they time it
what is this? autism powers international man of mystery?
he doesn't give em a line up and they make it themselves
they go out the crowd heckles em
so one chick throws a b ball at a guy saying words
I hate how chicks act violent when someone says words hey don't like
very uncivilized
then we get a newsreel telling us about the team
1 player needs to bring her son on road trips as her husband cant handle it
the kid is a fata55 who runs around screaming on da bus
the driver stops and walks off the job
1 chick tries to kill him with a bat
how feminist
also the kid eats too much chocolate
did they still put crack in candy in the 40s?
so the girls poison this higher rank womans food and makes her puke
I think its her chaperone
they go dancing while she suffers
1 teen who's driving offers to b0ne this chick
the almost b0ned chick warns the dancing chicks the lovitz is coming
if caught breakin da rules they're outta da league
also the gross chick is drunk and singing
so later its a game and tom hanks is not as drunk as usual
he gets more into commanding the team
one chick screws up and tom tirades her
so she crys
so he yells about him being calls a pile of pig sh-t by a manager at a game
1 guy tells tom to be nice to these chicks
so he sez he looks like a pee ness with a hat
so tom gets kicked out
man tom hanks is kind of an a55
later a guy sez something wrong and the chicks freak out over them maybe having to stop b ball
i'm not sure
I wasn't paying attention
later they leave church early for a game
tom sez; God knows we have a game
then we get a montage of they trying things to get more views
1 suggests her top falls open and her b00bs fall out
sounds like an anime idea
I think 1 gets married and goes off to breed with her husband til next season
that's why people get married
to breed
I gotta say, this montage is pretty good
way better than real baseball
once in high school we went to a baseball game
it was boring
ants hundreds of feet away playing catch
good thing I had my Gameboy advance and pokemon crystal
oh and f d r sez next year they wont need womens b ball
the war is going good
1 chick goes mental or something so tom hanks throws her in the shower and hoses her off
i'm not really paying attention
theres some more issues or something and the cr-ppy player gets traded
oh and 1 chick is in a dress that's tight by 40 standards
and plans to b0ne soon
lATER tom hanks finds he gets a bonus if they get to the world series
then a war department telegram guy comes in with a letter saying someone bit it in da war
tom hanks takes it and tells this chick named betty (who I have not recalled seeing b4) that her man bit it
oh joy
a tacked on forced sad moment in ths otherwise happy comedy
I hate that
that's why I liked commando with Schwarzenegger
no force sad time to bum us out
same with the 2004 Yugioh movie
and for some reason everyone hates those
so good player's husband returns and the hug
its kinda nice
makes me feel more positive
b4 this game, tom hanks signs a kids baseball
he writes to avoid a secks disease
better advice; stay a virgin!
so main chick (the good player(geena davis) )wants to quit
b4 the game, tom hanks leads them in a prayer
and then b4 the game the geen davis comes back
and tom hanks k o's the fat kid with a mitt
nowadays some wiener would get triggered by that
and him tirading the player
so they play the game in the final round of the tournament
mortal kombat!!
I think th ecr-ppy player is on the opposing team
she finally hits the ball on her 3rd try and runs around the square
but body slams into the final guard of the base
I think the cr-ppy player team won
I don't know baseball
and the head of the company funding gurls b ball sez they can keep doing it
maybe if they played in mini bikini's it would get views
cr-ppy player talks to the geenda davis and geena is gonna settle down and have kidfs
they reconcile and hug
btw the player kicked out of the team, working for a rival team and beating em, happened in real life
a Korean guy or w/e wasn't seen as good enuff for the winter Olympics a while ago
so he joined the modern soviet team and kicked their Korean candy a55
as they leave I notice a sign that sez "sold out"
looks like they didn't need the mini bikinis this time
wtf one teams logo is "dirt in the skirt"
sounds like they cr-pped themselves
what is this? the garbage pail kids?
then its the modern era of the 90s and the geezer chicks are the present versions of the team we just saw
they go to a b ball museum and holy c5r-p its fransis from pee wees big adventure
oh and tom hanks memorial is there for his b ball work b4 coaching
they open the womans area of the museum and the good and cr-ppy players reunite and hug
they take a picture and credits roll to 90s music that makes you feel
the end
tea leoni bill Pullman and harry shearer were in this
and Shirley walker from batman the animated series did music
that was pretty good
when I saw bridesmaids I hated it and felt it proved woman based movies were cr-p
but this and my little pony show it can work
I actually was kinda moved by it
it has heart and feels
well made despite me having no interest in baseball
the whole "past story booked ended by modern stuff reminds me of an idea I had
a movie where it starts with a grown man on a farm talking about the time he became the man he is today
and the rest of the film is a younger actor playing him in the past.
but what if casting screwed up and no one communicated with anyone
and they got a white guy as the adult and a black guy as the younger version of him.
to be fair; movies have screwed up worse b4
but I liked this
its actually most grand
for a league of their own 2 I want time travelers to come to the 1990s and want to see the team play. but they didn't know the difference between the 1990s and 1940s and talk to the people like its the 1800s as they think "the past is the past". they get shown around 1990s America and are surprised they have things like men and women playing on different teams and people eating meat and males allowed to be manly. they try to force heir future way on the 90s but are shocked when the people don't crumble and bow to their demands. so they try attacking people physically but as they don't eat meat they are wieners. so they summon a swarm of future commies to take em down and change the past. its also a 16 bit sega genesis and snes baseball based beat em up where you play as cool grannys and beat the future hippies up with baseball bats and throwing baseballs through their candy a55 bodies.

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