Monday, January 14, 2019

The Rainmaker Review

note; I never saw this b4 and have little info on it. so theres typoes
the rainmaker
this is my review on the rain maker from 1956 and not the john grissom one
ooh its full screen
it starts with a guy talking about a tornado
oh its a traveling salesman like in the music man
lol his story has a dog named bowser
he;s trying to sell em tornado rods to protect em from tornadoes
but the town never had tornadoes
he gives 1 free to a little girl and sez his name is starbuck like the battlestar galactica guy who they made a chick in the reboot
the sheriff goes after him but he sneaks out through a hidden trap door and skips toewn as the little girl chases after him
if this were made in a few years they'd be an inter generational couple
then credits and its burt Lancaster and Kathrine Hepburn and Lloyd bridges
after opening credits starbuk gets to this similar looking town and theres a car there
I thought this was the 1800s
the town has a drought as I think this is after the nucular holocost and the seas dried up
wait that's fist of the north star
then this blonde hits on this tall teen
oh f her name is snookie
like that 5kank on jersey shore
he triggers her about her red hat and they bicker but she seducexs him with her car and they drive off
she likes tall guys
probably cuz they got bigger hot dogs
assuming everything proportionate
guys go after him and later 1 guy brings tall guy back for making out with her
they don't want him b0ning her
oh its his dad
and they say she's a bleach blonde
then lizzie comes over played by Hepburn
oh she was their relative or w/e and was out on a trip
they talk and catch up and I think they want her to marr the fam she went to live with dat week
1 asked but she didn't consent as he's 9
man this is a pedo movie
and the kids are making the 1st moves
se didn't like being sent over to getta husband
man up b--ch!
also she got triggered when someone asked her weight
yet she still answered
better than most chicks now
dad sez shes afraid of looking good
sounds like a feminist
later the drought is wacking steers and starbick offers to help
later hepbern had a dream of rain and dad wants to set her up with some guy she don't wanna be with
she ants to marry someone who really cares for her
for ponce I like her thinking
later some geezer tries to give this guy a dog but the guy don't want it
the snookie comes onto another tall guy
maybe its the same one
oh and dog hater is sharrif
later the lizzie Hepburn fam chats with sheriff and tries to set em up
then sherrif gets word tornado guy is coming up
tall guy (named jimmy like in double dragon) gets p-ssed at sheriff for not coming to dinner rto meet hepnpin and fights but gets slugged out
dad or uncle or w/e sez shrrifs wife is still alive but ditched him for some other guy
later snookie calls jimmy on the 1800s telephone and invites him to a date
but dad makes him not go
Hepburn comes down but gets p-ssed when finding out they fought sherrif and hes not coming
jimmy goes on about how girlier girls get guys and Hepburn goes mental
then astarbuck comes in and sez he can make rain
the guy who plays him does well
got that game show host/huckster/infomercial guy
she knows he's full of cr-p
but dad wants to give him a chance
he does and they have dinner
dad pays 100 $$ and thinks its a waste
he sez he can bring any kinda ran and if they doubt him it makes it harder to make rain
sounds like mystery men with the invisible guy
he gets the guys to do jacka55 things
she confronts him but he reads her and points out her issues
then gives her h-ll over doubting him
he sez she dont believe anything
and don't believe shes a woman
she gets f'd over it and has an autism attack
then starbuck chats with jimmy about him looking jacka55ish beating the drum cuz starbuck told him to
jimmy has no issue with it
elsewhere guys think the drum is thunder but not exactly
later jimmy is p-ssed that talking to his uncle makes him feel like a dumba55
also he wants to call snookie
starbuck sez to do so and uncle does somethin I wasn't looking at that offended jimmy so he runs upstairs
then Hepburn goes on like she's gonna be a bimbo
but sherrif sees and comes in
dad goes off and hempburn chats with sherrif
he admits hes divorced which was a big deal in whenever this takes place
they grow closer
after a buncha chatter she gets nervous and girly and he don't like it and leaves
starbuck sticks up for the jimmy who was called a dumba55 and hempburen who was called not hot
uncle sez hepbuns gonna be an old maid and dad tries to comfort her but she's accepted it
she goes mental and runs to the barn or outhouse or w/e and findfs starbuck
she thanks him for being nice and sez his  name sounds made up
he sez it is but he was called smith b4
theres back and forth on choosing ur own name and living as yourself instead of how ur told
sounds like gender stuff today
he offers her a name melisande after the wife of king hamlet who got her the golden fleece
he recognizes this is made of several true storys made into one
she gets bummed out but he gives her a confoidence boost
he gets her to see herself as pretty
later jimmy comes back with a cigar and is happy and has snookies hat
I think b0ned her
but its a 50s movie and he sez he kissed her
he saved his virginity all on his own
also he gave her an elk tooth and got her hat cuz they engaged
later a guy comes saying to look out for tornado Johnson(which sounds like a p0rn0 name)
he sold anti tornado poles to a place that had every kinda wind storm except tornadoes
after sherrif goes uncle sez he didn't wanna out starbuck but wants to take him down now for some reason
dad tells him not to f up hrempburns good time or he'd whip his a55
hempbuin chats with starbuck about dreams and life and such and he admits hes a con man
she don't mind and sez she believes in him
he decides to stay longer
dad and uncle say the sheriff is here for starbuck and they try sticking up for him and protecting him
huh, this was based on a lay and set in the 30s according to wikipedea
starbuck comes out and gets arrested but hempinin stands up for him and the fam want sheriff to let him go
sheriff lets him go and he invites hempinin
uncle sez to not go and she eventually she chooses to be lizzie not melisande and not go with him
he gives back their 100 bones and books it
then it rains, starbucvk comes backhappy he made it rain and gets paid 100$
they cheer
the end
that was long but didn't feel draggy
it had powerful themes and ideas that hold true today
great acting and music
and a good story
I liked it
I recall seeing a thing on t on I think wned pbs about plays or w/e and I think it mentioned this
great movie
great ideas
I liked it
for the rainmaker 2 I want starbuck and lizzue to be going from town to town in 1930s America as he discovers his powers to make wishes come true like violence jack. also the law is after him and he's gotta fight em off with his growing powers. Its also an action game on sega genesis and super Nintendo where you play as starbuck and fight your way across wasteland levels in a horse cart and fighting/platform/beat em up/run n gun levels in towns.

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