Saturday, January 23, 2021

Mercenary For Justice Review

 Note i sp[ell like this guy acts

mercenary for justicve

this isd my review for Mercenary for Justice from 2006 (The year cr-p happened in the Robotech Comics and Tranbsformers Season 3 did it)

its got steven seagal, and no one else i know of

aparently the production of this was a sh-thouse cuz of seagall f-kkin it up

its directed by Don E. Fauntleroy who did roday you die and urban justice

i never saw ity b4 but hay, its got seagal

so after logos that look likje a bad Playstation game, we get title and weird editong of guys talking of super agents and clips of tyhem

something about hackers getting into some system, i dont know, its badly made

oh they want seagal to do sh-t for em as hes some kinda ubermench

then theres some battle in spoviet south africa

this whole thing looks pretty 00s as the camera work and filming and lighting and colors

1 guy puts omething under a truck and drives it

then its the french ambassators place (is e the bad guy? i mean he IS french!!) and its highly civilized with clean sh-t and no filth

then this blonde comes in and wastes the gaurd easy and lets soldiers in

they capture the ambassator as their policy s-cked and they need him as insurance to get outta there and book it with him

so Soviet south africa is gone to h e double california and mercenariesd gotta choose between beiung b0ned dead inb a french jail, or b0ned dead in africa

reporters chat with the military about what to do and some are let through

also segal is fighting the lusty french with his crew and a reporter comes up to him and they know each otehr

btw i'm watching this on Charge and they blcnk out the swear words and blurr the mouth

in 1 silent film this guy just told dirty jokes fort his scewnes as there was no audio recorded

when the movie came out the deaf fans were horrified as they read his lips

oh my freekin eyes!

segall calls a guy who sez he's not helping him (its the guy from the 1st part)

so the black guy gets blown out and bites it as he's not the main character

reporter tells a soldier he killed an innocenbt man about another guy getting it

the mercenaries who caught he frenchie tells the army guy they got him and he orders his msoldiers to stand down

so segal gets in a chopper with his droogs and theymissile launch at the frtenchies attacking em as they go

then its soviet florida and this black kid is playing PS2 and segall comes to the house as one of his guys lives there

oh its the black guys who bit its son

he comforts the wife and sez he's gonna get the guy full homors and a proper service and look after her

then he takes down 2 guy in a black van and calls this gov guy and sez hes comming for him

then jacks the van and gov guy sees guy from start in photoes doing stuff

the mercenaries get segal at gunpoiint and drive with him

he m,eets reporter who's with the mercenaries and meets start guy who wantys him to dop something babout a greek guys son in soviet africa

they wanna bust him outta jail for the greek arms dealer

greekmo alsofunds the start guy but if he spends 2 much he gets iced

also start guy caught the wife andson and is gonna send em to africa unless stallone goes with em

this seems to have ripped off commando with Arnold

gov guy gets reporter i think to work for him by pressure i think and both them and segal and guys go back to soviet africa

there they breif the moission an say they gon do it during a guard shift change and have a fake aleart tyo draw guards aND get the targett

1 guy wants to use nerve gas but stallone sez it would just waste the tsarget ansd makes a jab at him

gas man asttacks stealgal but segasl takes him down easy

reportewr i think gets info on stallone and gives it to gov guy

gov guy goes to a hotel and tells the poliece chie about the seagal thiong about a bank job planned

wtf does this have to do with seagal?

is this a separate movie they tacked onto this?

after a tour where chick takes photoes with her bracelet camera

later sehgaz and another womasn have dinner in a fancy restaurant and calls stasrt guy for proof of the wife and son being alive

he does this andseagahl goes to the cr-pper and a hot man comes for him

despite having segal at gunpoint, he stands there and segal beats his a55

segal meets a fellow detroit boy and they leave the hitman in the f'd cr-pper

sehagl dances with this woman and the next day, gov guy sez the crooks r in da bank and summons every cop to it

as he goes tyo his car, segail has him at gunpoint andtells him he dont woek for him anymore

then its at tyhe decroded jail and the mercenaries go in da sewer to matrix sounding music

in jail they shred guards who have no bullert holes or blood and they findson is not in his cell;

thewy go to the center of the area andopen fire as  guys fire on em fora few mins

what is this? violence jack?

2 guys gedt out of da jail in some kinda tank like in nadia the secret odf blue water on sega genesis and it survives being hit with bazookas

segal slips away and goes to da bank saying hes a agent anmmd sez theres a threat

his hacker homie disables the phones so bank guy can't confirm the thing but stallone takes charge anduses a key card to get in da vault

chick jACKs in her computer to get aXIS and links hacker in to get the code

they transfer data and segal callsa greeko and sez he has info on his arms dealings


F caps lock

stallonal calls start guy who sez his plan is f'd but he'd spare the fam if segal wires him 100 million American Dollars (or 10 billion yen)

he lets kid talk to segal but is gonna ice em anyway

greekmo gets arrested and da cops show up at da bank and find out abbout jean claude being in there

segal shoots and a55 beats his way out

imagine if he roundhoused a guy and it tore him clean in half?

he beats down gov guy and detroit guy takes em in as tthey goi quietly and in da van he uncuffs stallone

ddetroit boy pix up hacker and beat up cops get up and gov guy is arrested for having 52 million deposited into his account by dolf lungdlern to make him look bad

start guy sez he never touches a gun and sems kinda fruity and strange this whole film

mom and kid are dtriven off to a house and put em in A GUARDED BEDROOM

why not just cap em?

so seagal and crew comer to the lighthouse start guy was b4 and his crew attacks the lighthouse

detroit guy gets hit but its ok and segal finds froma shot up guy that the fam is in a safehouse

they throw a guy off the lighthosue and he smashes intyo a car roof and they go off

segal sneaks around the house and takes guys out stealth

aikido is what a samurai does w/o a sword

not a ninja!

bugsy segal and his crew use silencwers and take guys out

wife fakes needing to dump and when talking with guasrd, stagal comes in and ends him

chick and detroit gets wife and son out and they taken out the last few guys

start guy calls his dead guy and gets no response

he goes out and stalan is there and he points a gun at him

stalin tells himthat he's the only guy who can get things done and bad guy walks off to his car

as he drives the car blows and stavel laughs and they drive off

then a ceremony of the black guy who bit it 2 hours of tv ago

the end

that wasnt so bad

yeah it takes a bit gto ghet going

but its not hateable

its got good action and once you piece the story together its makers enough sense

good lighting and music and its entertsaining

itys not perfect, but for a directal to video action film, its enjoyable

glad i saw it. its a not too bad way to kill 2 hours

for mercenary for justice 2 i want the greek guy to get off as he got his lawyer to f with the jury and now he's after segal for wronging him. so segal and his commandoes bring it to him and battle in his slum country fortress. Also its  1 16 bit run N Gun game like Contra on Sega Genesis, Snes, T16, Atari Jaguar and GBA with up to 4 players, Segal, Detroit guuy, chiuck, and hacker in a mech suit, and you fighhti through the slums to get to his base and fight him in a mech armor the size of a whale

No comments:

Post a Comment