Note; My spelling disproives evoiolution
xtinction: Predator X
this is my reviedw on xtinction predator x from 2010(The year of transformers season 3 in japan)
its also called aligator x and starts no one i know of
i nver saw it b4 but its on Comet and that usually has good movies
so after some logos that loo like a gamecube game we get guys boating around the bayou
the cops find an empty boat and call a guy and they both get eated by something in da water
then credits like a bad 00s show to 90s muics
so later this guys daughter sez on da phoine that her dad isnt there and no one knows where he go
also somneone wants to buy swampoland
a guy comes by and she aims a shotgun at him as she dont like him
hes a seinectity(nerd) and is just taking samples(sam- pulls?!@)
he gave up teaching and got into real estateshe's kinda b--chy at him and he goes
imagine if she put the gun in his butt and hgave him a suippository and eh blow apart?
so da sherrif comes by who sez nerd weas back for a few months and was barred from teaching for testing on animals
he wanted tro bring back an extinct tiger
so this is sebertooth?>
also she's his ex woman (the nerds)
sao them the cops fiund a piece of an arm and sheffir comes over and is p-ssed at the casual nature of the copsd
he thinks theres a man eating gater in da swamp
so is this gonna be primeval?
then a new guy offers chick 500 $ for a boating on da swamp
chick accepts even though she aint been hear for years
he wants her to taker him to some spot and she trys to takje him but something f's up
oh the engine got bcaught on something
also theres something in das water
so on land, new guy asks his blonde gf to marry him
it gets dark and theres werired souinds in da woods
its bigfoot!
chick goes out and finds some rednecks b0ning a fat guy and making pig sounds!
jk erally theyre feeding a guy to thje swamp thing
this huge a55 gator monster eats the guy
is this gonna be lake placid??
she runs back to da boat and the rednecks get her
da next day sgerif comes to a boat with cop in in and he['s f--kin up
also is a huge a55 tooth
so sherrif wants to find out whats eationg guys in da swampe
so chick wakes up in a redneck lab and they imply they b0ned the blonde
after taunting her, the rednecks take the new guy (future husbnand) outside
later nerd comes by cop and is gonna check the tooth
with the rtednex theres a metal sphere in da water nd they seem to feed him to it offscreen
then shrenif is in a boat and looking for chick
nerd tells cop that the monster is drying out in da water as something about fresh water and salt water
nerd sez theres a pliosaur which is a 50 foot seas lizard from the dino days
spoiler; evolution is noncanona nd the earth is only 60-0 years old, as proven by creation science
so later sherrif calls cop who tells him stuff but the phone f's out
so sherrfi climbs a tree for better reception ands ees the monstyer in the water
so it eats the guy in the boat who worked for chick who i never mentioned as he's not importrant
so chicxk trys to support blonde but blonde is too f'd out
chicj ttrys to answer a riunging phone buyt falls over
then a redneck comes in and rights her
she sez da ropes r 2 tight but he dont falll for it
she chats wuiuth him about what they dooing and he sez they majin monsters from bones
so coip coimes in on tyhe rednecks and pulls a gun but nerd nails his head and chicxk realizes nerd is behind everything
she gets b--chy over him p[robably icing her dad and she wishes she murdered him yesaterday
so he beats ko'd and when she comes to,, nerd whines about rednecks catching his ex woman
also he designed the monsater to be a chick so it can be used to breed and its ready to poop out eggs
but the waster would kil it
so nerd wants 1 rednek to give monster a tracking ddevice
later, nerd tells chickj that the sphere is a duck call for da monster and he wants her to sign over da deed or he'd feed cop to the tthing
she agrees and they untie her and she writes on loose bpaper held by 1 hand witrh nothing to press against
nerd tells redneck to tranq dart the thing and rednex are gonna feed em to it
but blonde flips a lighter asnd the rednex shack blows and rgew guysd escaPE
so monsater eats the boat they were gonna getta way in
oh and i think 1 redneck gets eaten
so nerd ttells remaining rednext to find and ice the guys asnd bring him the monster
shrerf is still in a tree and goes through water to land
cop bites it from blood loss and chicks choose toi go back as badds wont expect it
so chicks run anmd the monster jumps outta the weater like free willy, goes over a land bridge and eats a guy in other water
So redneck catches blonde at gunpoint and they fight as sherrif calls in tthe monster to his guys who dont buy it
chick runs into boat guy who workled for her i thjink (didnt he get eated?) who pulls a gun on her and is revealed to work for nerd
employee gets redneck who was probably b0ning the blonde and caps redneck cuzx nerd told him to b4
he drives them and reveals he betrayed her dad cuz his dad f'd him up or something (i cant tell with his accent)
wait, its cuz her dad b0ned his mom and made him
sherrif stands in da roasd with his firearm and jups at da llast minute and truck crashes into a building and somehow starts a fire
sherrif trys to save employee but he gave up on life and right after they run the place blows
wtf the guys name was froggy?!
like, sonic adventure DX?
so the monster is ready to poop out its kids and the good guys go to the next with the sphere thee
if its tuirmned off the montset bites it for some reasn
but nerd comes in with blonde at gunpoint and goes on a tirade about science and nature and cr-p
he throws blonde in da water and chick and sherrif bewat on him and throw him in da WATER TOO
MONASSTER EATS HIM LIKEV EWVERYU MOVIE LIKE THIS AND HEY SAVE CHICK i mean blonde
f caps lock
then it comes on land and they fight it and they blow its head off with dynamite headdy
so the dr's come by andchicxksez shes gonna stay there and probabnly date sherrif
holy f the sheriff was the guy in white chicks and a night at the roxbury
then we see theres another monster in the water (like late placid?) and credits tpo 00s moucs
marine coordinator; danny cosmo
channel ur cosmos seiya!
deputy miuchael mmoore?
l;ike the fat commie?
the end
thazt was pretty good
standard direct to video monster movie
sorta like sharktopus or something
a bit from jurassic park and other films
but over all its not bad
it trys to ber srs but its a bit cheesy
its not great or anything but for a cheap monster film, its not awful
its worth a watch kinda
For Xtinction Predator X 2 I want it to be 20 years later and the monsters have taken over the bayou and its a forbidden zone. 2 treasurte hunters go in to find this lost confederate gold thing and gotta fight off these monsters in exo armor with chainsaws and plazma cannons and gotta fight these things and other cryptids like a foulk monster and skunk ape. Its also a 16 bit hack and slash ghame like golden axe on Sega Genesis, Snes,. Gba, Tg126 and Atari Jaguar where.
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