Friday, May 20, 2022

The Rare Breed Review

 Note: I spell invbreed

The Rare Breed

This is mt reviuew on The Rare Breed fromn the distant futyre year of 1966(20 years b4 the Sega Master System and 40 Years befdorte Transformers Season 03 inb America)

Its based on the life of Col. John William Burgess a bit and is directed by Andrew V. McLaglen who did McLintock! and Chisum

It stassrs Jimmy Stewart from A lot of good films, Maureen O'Hara from Those John Wayne Films(And was a good woman weho didnt smoke or drink or do drugs or b0ne a lot of guys/girls/animals/plants/cars), Brian Keith from The Wind and the Lion and the 90s Spider Man, Juliet Mills from the sodomus Andi Mack, David Brian from How The West Was Won/Star Trek the GOOD series, Jack Elam from The Night of the Grizzly/The Cannonball Run/The Twilight Zone, Ben Johnson from Angel and the Badman/Red River/Mighty Joe Young/Shane/One-Eyed Jacks/Hang 'Em High/Chisum/The Last Picture Show/ the 90s Angels in the Outfield, Harry Carey Jr. from Red River/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/The Searchers/Billy the Kid Versus Dracula/Big Jake/Gremlins 01/The 85 Mask/The Whales of August/Back to the Future, Part III/The Exorcist III, Perry Lopez from Death Wish 4: The Crackdown, Alan Caillou from Journey to the Center of the Earth and The Ice Pirates, Gregg Palmer from the Good Star TREK and Big Jake, and some 20s guys i never saw in anything

so after logos we get 1884 and a parade goes by or somethiuung to credits

theres lkike a rodeo and this guy called bulldog goes cow things and is jimmy sterwart

some brit chix find jimmy weird and have cows from england and jimmy meets his friend from b4 who here

maureen is a bri whos man got iced and hasx a blonde bnrit whos probably gonna bite it

i never saw this b4 and its colored and widescreened

they have 1 bit man cow a bullw/o horns and the cowboy sez its not good

maureen sez it has no fhorns from breedfinh (note; inbreedinG?!) and its on purtpose

jimmys friend is on crutches and a fight breaks out as this is a western

1 tewxas holds maureen to protect her but she elbows him in the gut and the hornless bull gets loose

jimmy tried to grab it but it has no horns and he falls off and the brits catch it

oh and the blonde is maureen jr

so the brits put the bull up for sale and maureen jr likes it and jr is worried it'll go to a butcher

what do you think cows are for?! burgers!

1 guy winns a bidding ar for 2000$ American Dollars and the guy who bought it wants jimmy to bring it to w/e

jimmy dont like him and quits and this moustachre guy wants jimmy to get him da bull for 1000$, which i think means hes gonna jack it

jimmy goes to the binner indder i mean winner and sz hes gonna do it for him and then maurewen comes in for a date with winner bidder

jimmy goes out and winner wants to b0ne her but she dont consent and its revealed he wants to sell mher bull for beef

she wants it used for breeding, which noiwadays means you gotta j=rk it off and pump the goo into female bulls womb

he sez hes the owner but she sez a condition of the sale weas him selling it for breeding and he dont care

oh yeah and this is one of the 1st films to use john williams music

so later jimmy is in the train with the cow and jr comes in after coming over the outside and she goes on about how the bull will be b0ning a lot of cows

jimmy is shocked a girl talks of breeding even though she grew up under a cattle brfeeder

also i did a lot of breeding, and inbreeding

in pokemon that is

jimmy trys movbing the bull but it dont go and she whisteles the brit song about God saving thequeen and it stands up

jimmy wont use biut noise and she goes off on the train and he follows and saves her when she falls

later the brits are on the train in night and maureen goes to see jimmy and thinks he was falling off when climbing the train

she wants to be freinwedly and he keeps trying to get her to go home as he sez its dangerous in dodge and he dont wanna be responsible for them

so she sez if he dont hel;p em, he'd be replaced and later its in dodge city whwere jimmy talks wioth the guys wanting the bull and he explains the brits paid 2000$ for it

also the jr hears and dont say anything about it

maureen and jr are there ad nimmy whistles for getting the bull to go and they wanna get the bull brought and jimnmy tries to buy time by sying they need supplies

later jr tells maureen that jimmy is gonna capture the cow and they otta go to the sherrif and jr uses american slang maureen dont get

maureen trusts the guy she did something about as hes an englaihman and jr saez; so was captainb idd

like when someoen says j fk or bi den or trudeau is catholic and i say; so weas gacy!

so jimmy talks with a guy hes working with and they get in a barfight and the brits come in and think jimmys not with em

jiommy slugs him and her flies into horns on a wall and gets shanked clean through

jk they fight and when the guy pulls a gun, maureen hits it out with her cane and bashes jimmy for slugging him for pulling a gun

jimnmy sez to meet at the next stop or w/e and the guy sez he sees what jimmy has to put up with

we're only 25% through?? thast went by fast!

so then they're in this field and riduing horsers a55es and in a cart and jr still suspectys jimmy

so on tyhe cart right maureen and jhimmy talk abouty the future of cows and the descendant of her hornless bull as jr sleeps on her bull

at nightits a campfiure and he sez how he got the nsme bulldog and a stray shot gets the coffee pot and the chix go to bed

jimmy goes off whistling to bering the cow and the 2 guys trying to get the cowtalk about how he fireds a shot

later, jr copnfronts jimmy over him trtying to swipe hornlesds and maureen wakes up and is p-ssed jr is accusing him

jimmy sez she misunderstood and she sez jimmys trying to win maureens heart

jimmy sez hes bringinmg hornmlerss to the guy she wants and they goo oof

in daylifght they get to a wire fence and jimmy chops it down with an axe and sez thwey arte leaving the guys land

the 2 guys think that jimmy isnty gonna give em the nill i mean bull and the uigly one caps the other one so he cvan get all the money

in this cabyon, jimmy comes by this guy bringing cowees he cjacked from a guyt he werked for i tyhgink and they have longh horns to go in ur a55

the ugly guy is up on the riocks and comes down and caps somnw guy and saernds thje cattle into a stampede

2 fist fights ands a stampede? Its like a western or something!

jimmy gets the briots to ruin the other way as the cows chase em AND now its jurasxsic park

the wagon f;lips and jimmy and friends hide uinder it as the cows run ovedr it, like the T Rex and the car in Jurassic Park!

After the stampede jimnmy carrys the cow theif and ugly guy has jimmy at gunpoint

he takes jimmys gun an want his money for the bull but jimmy dont got it somaureen gets out her purse

as he looks in, jummy rushes him and they fight so maureen gets the shotgun amnd makes em stop but ugmo gets away and jiummy folloews

jimmys gun f's out anmd the horses crash and ugmo is found breanally damagged with his head on a rock and a speck of blood

jimmy takes a big bite outta him and chews with his mouth open

jk he goes back ad maureen blames him fdor the ugmo gettibng it and the theif getting run over

wait, didnt the lion king do this?

jimmy goos oof and the brits bring the run over guy to thisd town for helpo

she meets the run over guys dad whos a scott and he dont care about his son and maureenslaps him and orders him to care for his busted son

then the guys grab the run over son and wiggle him around as they carry him out,m which would probablt f up his born and organs

later run over gun i mean guy is eating broith and wants to chew food

jr is clashing with him and whines about how no one makersd sense, which m,eans they'll fall in love and have40 babies, 1 after another, like a chain pregnany

maureen cpomes in and thery talk, then we see the scott and hisa drogs chasing a long weener horn bull and roping it

scot thinks the hornlerss wont last as it gets to likw -20 here and maureen thinks it can last long enough to breed

maureen sez her man bit it bringing the hornless here and goes off, oh and jimmys here

later run over guy isd sneaking solid food from, mexikids abnd jr comes by and talks

when he sez the bull isant a person, she gets triggered and goes off wirth it to bring it to the fields and let it free

jimmy talks wirth maureen about the hornless and sez sorry for lying


he trys tyo show hes hurt weirth a hug and thery smooch and shje sez she dont wannsa leave

but hes a scot and shes a brit! its like an invid breeding with a zentraedi!

so then it snowes and the scot has a hot bath in filthy water with a bottlew of booze

jimmy comes in and sezhes gonna fiund the hornless and scot sez to let it bite it and so he can marry maureen as shes focused on the bull

man that scott looks liker the duck dynsty guys

so jimmy and some dudes go out andss camt find it anmd jimmy teaches them the brit whitle and they go around doimng it

aftyer fiinding jack sh=-t the run over guy wants to go with em

jimmyy goos oot and shootrs away some wolves eating eating a long horn

imagine a long horn with a bunch of guys skewered on its horns?

like a stack on each side

so mAUREEN is teaching the mexikids to sing the brit song to be subserviant to the regent and trhery sings the america version after scottmo offers her tea

run over son sez he wanbts daD scvott TO fix of this sh-t hole place and then son and the britys go to ytea with the scot

scot comes dow in scot clothes but not a kilt and has shaved as hes in the regiment b4 and plays bagpipes

all these stereotypes, its racist against the irish!

maureen sez scotr wwas mean to his son and scot sez its cuz he had issues after his wife bit it

scot asks her to marry him and holy f this is texas? but theres blizzards!

a mexico comes in and sz jimmy is missing in the blizzard so trhey go out firing shotguns and wait i think its jimmy doing it too

they find him berrued in the snow and give him booze even though its bad for you and makes you lose heat and jimmy blacks out

the snow seems more like cocainum than snow anmd they bring him back andmaureen sez she thinks hortnless in in h e double burger king and she sez its ok as its longhorn country

jimmy hasn;'t given up on the hgortnless and believes in it and that there's gonna be crossbreeds soon

later its spring and a cow keels over ands jimmy caps it but later finds the hornless under some snow

jr sez she knew what to expect  asd longhorn cows bit it too and jimmy sez there can still be cows

I assumre trhat beef is frozen and can stiull be eaten

so then after jummy rides for a wehjile, we see this kid cow w/o hornes

later he chats with jr about howhornless might have lasted longer and they might stil be having baby cows

jr was asked to marry run over son but shhe dont wanna as it means maureen will maRRY EL SCOTTO

JIMMY SEZ THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS AND f u caps lock, suck my 7 inxch un cut double slavic weener

jimmy sez tio marry run over son and i aassume hes still got parts after being stomped

So later Maureen agrees to marry scotolingus in the fall and later jimmy is out riding and finds a cow that looks devolved like the one w/o hornes

he carrries it off as its long a55 horn mom follows to skewer him like Vlad nThe Impaler

jimmy shows it to maureen and scottly fist fights him for some reason as all westerns end in one

scotmus sez for jimmy to go on and later we see jimmy and masureen with the devolverd cows

jr whistles the brit song and none come but she sez she feels like the hornless is out there

which makes no sense as that cows dead and it only came whern you whistled as it was trained, not anything to do with its genbetics

The End

Oh yeah and the scott had scones and said it right! It rhymes with Bones, none Don's!

So easy, a scotsman can do it!

But yeah this was a good film

jimmy does well and so does maureen

good filming and style and editing

good acting and style

some parts were kinda fake but it didn't ruin the film

its got good pacing and don't drag

Its worth a look

I just realized that as the hornless was found frozen, they could have collected its spurm and used it for more breeding

For The Rare Breed 2 i want them to deal with their cows being mitilated by some unknown thing at night, so they go out and find its space sasquatches(not Wookies, well, maybe) doing it for ewxperiments and Maureen uses her Holy Cross Item to scare them off. then they have a battle agianst them with Water Baloons of Holy Water and Blessed Bullets. Also its a 16 bit action game like The Genesis Jurassic Park on Sega Geneis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as Jimmy and Maureen and the daughter and the bf in up to 4 players going around run n gun fighting the space sasquatches. Also the Scot is a screen nuke where he goes in all scottish and clears the screen. Wait, make it a Run and Gun like Contra. No. A BVeat Em Up with Guns and Water Baloons like the Konami Aliens Game. Yeah, that would be cool.

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