Arrowhead Review

 Note: I spel like I got arrows in my hansds

Arrowhead

This iss my review on Arrowhead from the distant future year of 1953(60 years before the malcointent uoprisings in Robotrech)

Its directer by Charles Marquis Warren whoi diod nothiong I saw

It sysars Charlton Heston from Julius Caesar/Dark City/The Ten Commandments\Touch of Evil\Ben Hur/The Greatest Story Ever Told/Planet of the Apes/Beneath the Planet of the Apes/The Omega Man\\Soylent Green\Waynes World 2/disneys hercules/Armageddon// tim burtons Planet of the Apes/Bowling for Columbine(commie propaganda)/The Big Country, Jack Palance from Shane/Kill a Dragon\Batman/City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold\The Swan Princess 001, Katy Jurado from One-Eyed Jacks, Brian Keith from The Rare Breed/The Wind and the Lion\the 90s Spider MaN/Touched by an Angel, Richard Shannon from White Christmas, Lewis Martin from the war of the worlds, Frank de Kova from King of the Khyber Rifles/The Ten Commandments/Teenage Cave Man/The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond/The Greatest Story Ever Told/The Incredible Hulk, Robert J. Wilke from San Francisco/20 000 leagues under the sea/from here to etwernuirty, Kyle James aka James Anderson from sergeant york/Mildred Pierce\To Kill a Mockingbird/Little Big Man, John Pickard from White Heat\The Lawless Breed\Chisum, and some guys i never saw in anything

I never ssaw this but like heston and palance

so after logo we get a ;letter saying "this guy is a hero like Daniel Boone and Kit Carson and William F Cody" from an 1860s General

Then creedits and title over a wasteland

Oh its based on a book Adobe Walls by W. R. Burnett

then 2 guys ride by a river and check broken branchewsand see indians are near

1 is hgeston as ed bannon the possible ancestor of steve and goes on ahead

later some indians see Am,erican Troops in a river and heston is sneaking arounbeddand gets 2 indians at gunpoint

1 aiims at him like a dumba55 sand hesten ends him then another charging at him

his homie wgho stayed behind is there and saved himn against orders

the troops see hreston wjhos ed so imma call him ed ;like edward elriuc or as the weeaboos say: ehdowado ehruriku, like goku as sann goh kooh

the troops ride eds a55 for f ing it up as the men he iced were meant to work with them and they had plans to work with the army

heston dont buy it and chercks the bodies and finds warpaint but the indian woirking with them sez "i'm not a savage anymore" and "its niot true" abnout them weariong warpaint on other areAS HIDDEN

ed is canned and the indian army guy looks like adam beach from svu

ed thinks the indian apache are planning smething and can spring outta anywhere and  ed talks with a soldier about  being at ghettysberg and ed how ed wears confederate pannts as he likes grey

theres a lot of coincidences of things lining up aboyt dangerous indians coming to go to a reservation right as the chiefs son coming back

ed was captured by indiabns for years as a kid and probasbly b0ned a lot and now hates em and knows their tricks

kinda like humans in soviet canada dealing with being forced to learn devolved french and winding up hating how cr-ppy it is

canadian french isant REAL frencxh like in france,m its like talking like a homie

yoyoyo homie, lemmy ax u diss, iz yuu ahh ite? hizz omie?

and if I put that on my resume, they HAD to acceppt it or it wopuld "infringe" onb myt "laNGUAGE rights"

thankfully, most canadians dont care for devolved french and only like 19% of canada uses it

as per survival of the fittest; the less evolved die out, and their language is evolutionarily challlenged

yeah the gov tries to force humans and gainin tyo speak it, but like the chinbese and pandsAS, ITS PUTTING OUT A FIre with a water pistol

so ed and ssome guys gotta go back to the coloneil and cross da river and later the indians attack and the Americans take cover and return fire

lots of dusat covering the area to make it look like theres  more, like D W Griffioth in Birth Of A Natioion

So the Americansa win andscoloniel is is  woundded and bites it sayiing to get rid of him and they go on with the dead on horses

at the base is a red read woma and a mexico chick and the armny sez "they got f'd cuzed hates apaches"

ed walks past the mexiico chick laundry girl and is part apache and the othert officer is seemingly into the mexico chick

i think officer is the next in command after colonel got it ands heston ed goes to see red head who was his woman and tallks about him having whisky and being into the mexco and her husbnand fought the apaches and virginiasns

he nearly smooches her but she sends him out and asks if he iced the peace apaches but he sez thas what they say

she her hes a murtderer and he sez husbnand was iced for not killing and the apache say" think wwat u think but u gotta live with ur thoughgts"

she sez hes a murderer but i dont think many considered them to be "human" trhen, like the maruta clasim Japan did in WW2, or canada and the demnocrats see the Unborn

later ed helps a guy with his hoprse and sez appache ride horses til they die then eat em and steal more

1 sokldier takes a swing at heston but he counters and gets him in a lock and seaz an apache wouldve broke him back

the army guys swarm him and sez he got kicked outtas the apache and is usaing da army to fight em and a guy breaks it up

so ed boon sees the mexico chick and shaves his face and she rides his a55 over him seeing ht ered head

they drink booze and ed sez its illegal for an apache to drink but she sez shes half mexico and they chhat of the apache and hethinks she was sent there to keep an eye on him and he sez he can get cr--p from her and smooches her

no mosesd! she';s not ur wife! What would Aaron think?!

sdo the army gives ed his severalcne pay and sez his replacebnmen t is gonna try peace with the indians and hes gotta be out by sun up

ed warns em of toriano which i mishear as toriyama and the next day, ewd is goes to live with the mexico and his homie comes with him

mexico wants to make the place nice and ed sez toriano is comming from da east(of eden? aka: cain and able gx!)

ed meets a guy who sez he dont want ed f ing things up for toriano and i think hes a trainman and later toriano is jack palance and the most ukranian looking indian i ever saw

ed sez toriano wears a coller to ghide the scar but toriano sez he dont ghide it or forget ho gave him it

so torayima meets an apache guy who sez they wanna be send away from the violkence area and have peace and toriama sez he's gonna help and once all the apace are here, they;'d be moved

kinda ironic as nowadays they look at indians sent to reservations like some kinda holocost

kinda like looking back at smoking being seen as ogood, or gettign vaccines making you healthier

so the army is givign identification to the indians  and 1 wont say his and the guy into the red head wants ed to help but he sez hes not part of it

troriama wants to do something and ed sez imma do the opposute of him and reveals he knows this guy and he iced the guys brother and the guy is faking not knowing englaish

toriana faces ed and piuns him aND THE IDNAINS CHEER AND HE TAKES OFF HIS HAT AND HAS LONG HAIR AND SEZ HES NTO A WHITE MAN

HE GOES IN AND GETS HIS TAG AND good f--k the caps lock was on, get aids and die caps lock, wyou are surpilus to requitrements

the dinains go on and get named and taged and heston puts back on his BLACK HAT!!!!!!

so toriamno comes out and is in indian clothes and gives a speech saying his god wants him to wipe out the Americans and they will dance a ghost dance to do something

heston goes to see the racket and is caught but sez hes unarmed and chats with toriyama who sez "go and if wee catch you again, we goin wack ya even if unarmed"

ed talks with the chief who he tells is wise and dont gotta dso this

ed sez he knows their ways and code and not to trust them and vows to stop toriano and toriano will be glad this johnny guy i think eds replacement is his blood brother

ed returns to base and is arrested tyo stop him from causing prtiblems but i guess this is like an arnold movie of hear me now but belkueve me later, or the gov using big tewch connections to censor people outing their evil

so then its night and toriyamaand friends sneak around and wack a guard and raid the armory

the railway guy who named his son afetr toriama is working and toriano coems in  and rail guuy wants to givbe him a present

toriamo sez they are bood brotyhers but its a mistake and he cant be with him over his race being White

railway guy johnny sez he wanted to show him his son named after him and torianop shoots him in cold blood

this is why japan doesnt let gaijin in btw, gotta keep japan japanerse

also why europe is dgoing under

so the indians are in the dayloght and torch places and skean attack troops going by on horses and go on gee haad

later ed gein is listening to theirt drums and dont recognizes the tune and rival for red head tells ed tnot to levae and hes gonna give the indians a fair trial and only the guilty will be punihsed

this is clearly bad logic as lawbreakers dont follow the law

ed talks with mexico about hewr broether and figures he's with toriano and she goes out wanting to do stuff with him tonight, i assume in bed with his 19 inch weener that dr zaius saw

at night, ed and his homie catsh a huard at gunpoint and lock him in da cabin and run odff and mexico sees

in day, man this is over a logn time, ed and homie find a buirned out town and talk about what kinda pattern the indians use liek a cuircle oirt zigzag or X and he figures its a settlement somehweer and goes there

they ride up and see indfians on a hill and are chasedand its toriano leading em

after getting ahead, ed and tobias ort w/estop at a falled tree and send their horses off and cross it and hide on the river

2 indian stays behind and cvhesks em and ed catches and drowns him

he otta tuern him inside out and leave him out there as a wearning to the rest of ewm!

so bakc at the base, ed is meeting the guys and they say toriano dont trust him as he knows ed dont trust apache so ed shows a trinket he got from the guy he droiwned and i think it was mexicos brother

ed sez they are walking into a trap trusting an apache and that included the amad beach lookin homie

ed reveales tlriano had a disabled kid brother and busted the kids skull but when ed tried to save the handicapped kid, toriano gfoguht hima nd ed gave hi the scar

how canadian, like something candya55 trudeau would like, assisted suicide for kids

he goes on of his life and how he only wanted to settle dowen and life and after going out the red head sez she never knew that aND ADMITS SHE LOVED HIM AND SMOOCHES HIM AND RIval for her sees and she sez she'd go where ever ed goes

after a dispute, rival goes off and has a suicide mission tomorrow and red head wants ed to save him

at night mixoco triwes to shank ed like ryos dad in devilman oav 1 and hge counters and puns her

she hates him for icing her brother but the bro treid to ice him 1st and when ed goes out to get the guard to have her locked up, she takes the knife and seppukus herslef

ed comes back and she tells off ed and sez she hopes they catch him alive and bites it

ed replies "theres a dead apsache in here, get IT out" whgich is pretty based

so then its the next day and the tropps ride out on a suicide mission and later redhead rtalx with edward footlong in sppurminator 2 j-zz man gay as john bonner and talksd about the mexico getting it and how the women are worried their men might get it on the mijsison

she is glad hes not going and is kinda selfish as she cares for him over the lives of guys she dont know and wants to go with him

so the army goes out and sees toriano in the field and its obviously a trap and they go in like dumba55es soerta like the brits trying fife and drum turn based warfare instead ofd American style in 1776

when they get close, toriano waves his arm and a pak of indians on horses coimne out in front of and behind them

well, omae tachi wa mo shinderu

the americans race to the trees for defence like the indians didnt see thsi commignn and the indians lifge up ready to attack in waves

the 1st wave attacks and soem get through and chop amercians with tomawahks

ed is nearby and with him is homie and they hear the gunfire and plan something

the 2nd wave hits and if they had a gatling gun they could mow them down

more americans are hit and they see a smoke signal saying more Whites are coming and the indians ride off as in a few days there will more more indians than the White dreamed

so ed sent the signal and the soldiers put him in charge and he sez get rid of all equipment that rattles and only carry dfood and ammo and leave the dead

they then face the indians and shred em and dont chase em as its a trap

ed isnt with em and theres more clashes with the apache and the men get worn

so now they have the apache on a hill and they are looking on at em

so then its ngith and they are on guard and 1 guy cant takje it andruns out and screams and i think they b0ned hik  dead

another guy goes out to save him and thers more screwwaming

1 guy out there gets arrowed and jhomie goes oiut anbd is caught by indians but ed and anothe rtake out the indians

they bring the indian and the homie got caught and ed sez apache think the worst end is hanging and hes gonna hang him here as they cant bring him back to da post

the drums play and ed realizes its a prop[hecy of an invincible warrior who would come and save them from the Whites

hes said tyo come from the East and toriuano went east to school

they will be attacke dat daw and that in a 1 houiir and ed goes out and finds his homies arreowed body on a tree

in the real version it was sliced pen and his guts were out and there was spurm in there from them being b0ned by the indians

ed sneaks ariund and is behind troriano as hes a ninja from the same school klna dn challenged trroiano to a battle to see how invincible he is

ed has him at gunpoint and makes him driop his boomstiock and he slices his and torianos writt andthey press wounds to do a blood ritual to make em blood brothers

thats a good way of gettign aids

also this is a thing of non cponsnetual bonding, like the gainiujn do

nowe only toiano can kill ed and casnt attack or thew end might be iced by someone else besides him and only blood brother can kill blood brother

the indias fire and troeiano makes em stop and sez no ore illing until ed meets roaino and ed agrees to face him on adope hill

the indians bring the adam beach guy with em and AT SUNRISE or around so with a colored sky, they meet and fight

its lkike if star trek wasdnt camp and heston gettsa on bim and snaps his back withtbneh hold he used on that guy

an indian is there and gonna shoot heston but ricval caps the idnans and is capped but is k'

heston carrys all of jack palance as hes an alpha male and strong and shows the indiasntheir invincible champion who he bewat dead with his bare hands

wheres ur messiah now?

1 guy sez he's gonna be the next one to lead the apache and ed sez to try for peace andf toreiama was a fake hero

the indians leave and the troops move out and text sez the character of ed was based on the historical al seiber 1844-1907

the end

that was quite good

pretty based aND they couldnt;' make somehtign this bada55 as they worry about beta males and girly men whining

its got good filming and action and story and it works well and heston does the hardened part well

jack does a good job and its got good twists and shows how liek in The Art Odf Warm if you know ur enemy it does better

its over 100 mins w/o adds and doesnt reallyy drag but isnt super fast and has nice msuic and color

good stytle and while he's not evil, heston plays a darker character, but he has his reasons

nowadyas they'd make heston the bad guy and his hatre would be unearned and unjustifued and he'd either change his ways or bve iced like in degrassi ort svu

For Arrowhead 2 I want heston to be married to the red head and the gov comes in and want him to teach at West Point in the ways of indian wearfare as a way to prepare them for when the indians go on the attack again. also he deals with ptsd with a guy who looks like a friend he had who was iced by the indians and they use wargame simulations in recreated artificial woods and wastelands and heston is hard on em but only to make em prep[ared as the enemy shgows no mercy. Its also a 32/64 bit N64, Sega Saturn, PS1, 3D0 DS and PSP game whewre you are a guy going to the academy and gotta rise through the ranks to make the grade and its told in Visual Novel Style with 80s or 90s anime Designs and mini games for tests.