Fort Ti Review

 Note: I spell bad, but at least i'm not a frenchie!

Fort Ti

Rgis is Ore Samma No Review on Fort Ti from the distant future year (To Abraham) of 1053 (80 years b4 the 3rfd Roboptech War)

Its dfirectal by, William Castle!? Oh now its got my intyerest! He did House on Haunted Hill/The Tingler/13 Ghosts/Mr. Sardonicus/Strait-Jacket and usually did gimmicks for his films

This one was the 1st techjnicolored 3d film by a major stuudio and 1st 3d western, but 3d is kinda gay and is overused in the 2010s/20s

We otta go back to the silent style. Look how good Griffith and Eric Vin Stroheim and Ernst Lubitsch were

it stars George Montgomery from black patch, the positive Joan Vohs from royal wedding, Irving from I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang/Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/the 30-s A Star Is Born/The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse/the 30s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn/Gone With the Wind/His Girl Friday/The Grapes Of Wrath, James Seay froom sonb of monte cristo/Miracle on 34th Street/The Day the Earth Stood Still/The War of the Worlds/What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?/The Green Berets, Howard Petrie from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Lester Matthews from The Adventures of Robin Hood/the 30s The Three Musketeers/Mary Poppins, and some guys i nevr sawe or aint on wikipeda

i enevr saw this but like castle and historical films and this is only 73 mins so its gonna add nearly AN HOUR OF ADDS TO GET TO 2 HOURS ON GRIT

fd off caps lock, get f'd dead like gacy;'s boys!

so after logo and crtedits and title which is in proper fuillscreen and nice color we see sredcoats doing cannon work

its the distant future year of 1759 and in soviet new york albany and these rangers came in and i think are fur trappers

the red coats think they bring trouble and talk of the french indian war that is going on

the rangers drerssed like davy cropocikket coem in to see the general and say they are rogers rangersd and keep the indian tribes from over running the state and have adispatch  fort em

they need reinforcements to keep the indians out and will get them in 2 daysthe redcoats whine about them not being as prim and proper and in read coats but the rangers say they need chammo to hide from the enemy

theres this bad guy whos name i missed and is around and if the rangers are stopped in the north, the campaign will collapdse

the rangers are going to a stop on the way and the main rangers friend whos a grizzled guy like an 1800s prospector thgrows a mohawk scalp on this red coat as he was curious oif iut, but the redcoat spazzs out as hes a beta male

elsewhere, the indians attack a home and torch it and capture the women and children,which is what THEY want whey then say "decolonization"

the rangers come by it and find it topprched and wait, they get to the town afewtr the house bruns down

the towensflk say what happened and her man wasnt around and main ranger goes to save her and her kids

they search the taverns an tell the husband and husband sez he had to hbe here and not protecxt his fam sio main ranger slughs him

homie ranger brings main guy out and they go on and husband gors to this placer with aa gun and asks this guy where his wife and kids are

the guy sez if hee's killed then he wont find em(but he can tortture the info outta jhim) and  gives the guy his gun like a dumba55

he should have deboned him until he got what he needs

tyhe guy whos the dr sez he sent the indians to make him under his controlla dn uses the indians as instrustrumnents of espionage as no one suspects them

dr wants to use leeches on him and he sez no and offers to tell someone in somehwre szomething but dr sez he wont if he wants to see his fam again alive

After that, he goes and tells main ranger that he was coerced to be a spy under threasts to his family for the dr and the dr has his family captive

oh and husband is his brother in law and the wife is is sister

rangers bring husband in and tell the higher ups and higher up sez they otta shoot him but theres othert things and they can use this to send fake info about the coming attack on Fort Ticonderoga to stop the frenchies

as a human who spend much time in soviet canada, i can say, the french are often evil, see also robespieere, the marquis de sade and trudeau

theres good frencheis, but thereww also good pedoes who dont seduce kids and only j=rk off to sesame street or w/e

but no one says "i only mean the bad pedoes" when dumping on pedoes

i mean i have friends of that condition and they know they are often the bad guys(as in frenchies)

so the rangers train young soldiers which would probably be a montage if this were an 80s movie

after trainign they go out and i assume the guys wife and kids are being b0ned by frenchies and indians

they go through the woods and theyres ann iobndian in a tree like a ninja and they jump out and attack

over the film a lot of cr-p flies at the screen as this was 3D

kinda like in the final destination how theymasde all those scneres to put in the trailer like the screenbursting with flames

i was MADE to SEE this MOVIE!

ITS IN 3D!!

after the battle the future Americans won and main guy is rough on husband for his betratyal but he did it out of love for his fam

they hear scrteaming and fins an indian about to b0ne a blonde WOC:with out consent! and jfk him

shes kinda happy for someone why was nearly b0ned dead and they think she might be frendch as this is frecnh/indian turf and zhe sez shes enfglaish

later itsd darker kinda and main ranger sez she escaped from fort Ti 3 days ago and had no food/water and was wandering the frenchlands

she was there for 2 years and main ranger thinks his fam is kept captive there

a higher up thinks they shouldnt go out of they way to dsave em if they are there and it would cost a lot of men and o keep blonde isolated

at night husband asks blonde if she saw his fam and she sez they are fine and in there but main ranger is not pleased as she was to not have cpntact with them and esp not husband who was a traitor

they clash which means main ranger and blonde will fall in love and b0ne and have 500 babies at once in 1 huge egg sack like a spider and he sleeps next to her so if she says anything he'd hear

later blonde and main ranger are out and a shot goes by and he hits the dirt with her and goes to take care of him

he tyhrows his rifle and it goes off and the indian fires aty it and he nails the indian with tomohawk then takes otu abnnother

then he finds his french canadian friend who isnt as devolved as modern frenchies and seems more cajun who are higher eolved

history lesson!

So in America: the ones of french ancestry evolved past their frenchness and became happy jolly Cajuns who are friendly and positive

yet in canada the frenchies were allowed to keep their protoculture which left them to devolve worse than Real frenchies in france and are now a bunch of malcontent, whiny, unbalanced, b==chy, evolutionarily challenged c=ck suckers who just sh=t on everything

It seems that frenchness is a blight, as is their language and culture

so frenchie and the humans meet frendshies daughter who smooches main ranger on the mouth as thats hiow they do things there

europeanists kiss to greet, like the italianoes on the cheek, which is now seen by feminists as raepe

so frenchie homie takes them to his home and therews women sewing and making su0plies fior the huamns to fight the french as they cant ship saupplies in

in 1 room is a painting of french homeis 1st woman who the frenchies and indians iced

they talk of how in the woods all living things feed on others, liek animals or trees eating out othersto survive and how men are hard but women arew sodt

then they smooch with consent and getta long

laster un the location the trooip is spending the night, husband  gets up and goes out and the main ranger sees hi m going to fort ti

he goes to this lace and dr is there and he asks if he has any proof that his fam is safe

if the info he gives em is right he can meet em in the summer

the head frenchie is there and husband gives em info i think is fake andsez theres 7000 futurte americanscomminghead frenchie goes anddr has some rum and grills him more about major rogers who im not sure is and offers him a chanfvce to ice him or something foir a reward

after husband gets back the main ranger grills him but major comes in and asks him what he sed

husband sez he told the frenchei what the huamsn wanted and how hes a farmer not a soldier or killer and didnt want to be in this war

also he hates main ranger for beuing as killer and a harda55

latewr the frendhies build the defences where the husband said they would and the plan of fake into worked

then the rangers attack and 1 puts liquor by powder and lights it and it blows

later someone is eating dinner with the frenchie homie and he has the women working on makign supplies

oh its main guy visiting and daughter comes out to see him and is totally gay for him even thoguh she's liek 15 years younger than hi

oh wait, its not his daughter, its frenchies wife and she is tired of him buty like in the room, main guy dont wanna b0ne his best ftienfds woman

she gets jealous and b--chy and blames the blonde and storms ofdf as he doesnt wanna get frecnh pox or french aids

later frenchomie  plays his french lute and hsi woman looks mwean at blonde and main ranger and goes out for as wlak

main guy sez thanks to frenchomie whom goes to bed and blonde now likes main guy and they smooch with consent

wait, she was a prisoner of the french for years, and now his otuh is on her mouth, what you think the fernech also did things to her mouth? its what they do!

later the french come in and are doign a trap or something and arrest frenchomie and his women and they thiunk blonde did it and is really french, whichn is odda d the frecnhoine is there

the french wait for major rogers to come and its a trap and the human soldiers come near

but main ranger notices the dog isnt barking as the f4enchies iced it and he sneaks over and they see theres frecnhies probablui inside

also husband is thetre and sez the forces are headign for fort ti and he didnt tell main guy as he'd go afetr his fam

main guyhas an idea and they get liquor bottle sand fake being drunks and loudly come over

the frenchies have frtenchomie identitfy them and he sez they are drunk neighbors and is sent to get rid of em and the capitaimn comes with em

as captain comesa out, main guy gets him aat knifeoojnt aND ses to not signal the men and whern they go in they take out the freeewnchies with a sneak attack and get the supplies

blonde sez she didnt do it and he goes off

later main guy talks with frenchomie and sez he wants to believs some chick isnt guolty and so woulkd main guy

hard to tell with his devolved accent

later he chats with amjor and they need blonde to lead him to fort ti and save jis fam before the attacks

the 4D americansare gonna attACK as the construction crews are leaviing and husband weants to helpo maindf guy save hjis fam as he loves em

later french wife is crying and frewecnhie is ok wioth her trying to b0ne other guys like kim kardashian and sez its my fault and trys to help her cuz hes a beta male like will smith

she cant take it and does seppuku as the frtench are mentally unbalanced and i think they both know she was the one who went to the frenchies and told on em

he smooches her corpse as the body is still warm and i guess theres a 5 minute rule as thats when the brain still works, unless ur frenchi and that not needed

then its daya nd the ametricans of the fututre attacxk the frecnhies and in the chaos con trol, ythe main guy and hsi crew swim across the water with blonde to sneak in

the haumsn book tit and the rtangers who swam fakes being frecnhies as they wore fgrenchie clothes and get in the base

the husmans go to the higher up and say they need dry clothes from the prisoners and the frenchie sez, in english, to get some

they find the protoculture matrix in the base core and set it to overload and have only 6 miinutes to get out before the whole area gets nuked

jk ferally they go in the prisoner area and reveal they are huamsn and main guy takes out the higher up with a thrown knife like castlevania, but nnot the gay p0rn0  one on netflix

he sneaks em aroudn the base and sneak out aND GO AROUND IN WHATS CLEARLY DAYLOUGTH BUIT TINTED TO LOOK DARK

so they go on and theres cheap rubber bats waving toward the screen and they were in a cave and in the daylight the indians are outside and they battle

then the fort is under attack by cannonfire from the redcoats and the day is saved and the frenchies are beat

Blonde smooches main guy and a kid wants to be a ranger when he grows up

the end

That wqs pretty good

solid 50s movie with clear good and bad

good mystery suspenmce of "who did it" or "isn he/she gonna betray the good guys"

nice acting and good color

i saw it in 2d as 3d is gay but its well made

nice action and it doesnt drag and has good flow

not as cheesy or offbeat as castl;es other films and it shows he can do a serious picture

i enjoued it and it showed a good history lesson wihtout being too preachy

For Fort Ti 2 I want it to be between the french indian wars and the Revolutionary War and the frecnh and indians have made a pact with sasquatch and are going to wipe out the non frebnch in 1 large blitzkrieg, butut 1 half frenchie resists his frfench dna and warns the humans about it, so the main ranger from the 1st film is back and brings the blonde who has trained with a gun and they gpo under cover with a new item developed by ben franklin that would advance the frtench dna devolution to reduce them to puddles of goo, also its a 16 bit stealth game kinda like crackdown but on snes, sega genesis, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the main guy and player 2 is the chick and go around capping frecnhies and sasquatch and plant the devolvers and get out as they dont wanna be devolved into drooling frenchies