Rollerball Review

 Note: I spell like I play spors; really cr-ppyy!!--!!

Rollerball

This is my review on Rollerball from the distant future year (To Kaneto Shioawa)of 2002(20 years before R-Robotech II The Sentinels)

Is a remake of a 0s film and based on a book r something I never read

I saw the 1st movie and it was good bit never saw this, but everyone sez it s=cked

It was rewrote and refilmed andtoned down from a hard R to a pg13 and went through a lot of cr-p

Its direcyal by John McTiernan who did Predator 1/Die Hardv 1/The Hunt for Red October 1/Last Action Hero 1/Die Hard with a Vengeance which were good

it stars Chris Klein from American Pie/American Pie 2/We Were Soldiers/The Electric Playground/American Dad!, Jean Reno from Mission: Impossible/the american 90s Godzilla/Hotel Rwanda/The Da Vinci Code, LL Cool J from Halloween H20: 20 Years Later/Deep Blue Sea/the 2000 Charlie's Angels/Mad TV/All That, Rebecca Romijn from Austin Powers 2X-Men/X2/-Men: The Last Stand/X-Men: First Class/The Death of Superman/Ugly Betty/The Cleveland Show/Star Trek: Discovery, Naveen Andrews from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Mike Dopud from Maximum Overdrive/Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever/X2/the 2004 Walking Tal/White Noise/Alone in the Dark/BloodRayne/Sub Zero/Spider-Man 3/Postal/ise of the Planet of the Apes/Tasmanian Devils/X-Men: Days of Future Past/te 2014 Godzilla/Arctic Air/the n64 Spider-Man/Spider-Man: Mysterio's Menace, oenly polish yet kinda a55holish Andrew Bryniarski from Hudson Hawk/Batman Returns/the 94 Street Fighter/Pearl Harbor/the 2002 Scooby-Doo/the 00s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre/The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Kata Dobo from nothing I saw, Lucia Rijker from kckboxing,  Oleg Taktarov (theres a number of slaves in here, i mean Slavs) from Air Force One/Predators, Paul Heyman from WWF, Janet Wright from The Perfect Storm/Corner Gas: The Movie/Eerie, Indiana: The Other Dimension/Redwall/Redwall: The Movie/Mattimeo: A Tale of Redwall/Corner Gas, somewhat disturbed animal supremacist Pink from Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, the band Slipknot and Shane McMahon from WWF.

so after logos and credits for a few mins and a title we get bikers in silloteete going to this van and this teen goes on a mission of a dumba55 stunt on a small roller boarddow a roadin a rqace wth others

bikers take photoes of it and its i think in soviet san fran sicko like Sonic Sdventure 2 and has early 00s musicblasting edy

the cops come and the 2 lead racers go under a trck and nearly get crushed to escape da cps and the rival hits a car and flies in a store window

a big black car with a big black guy saves main guy by letting him in his open car and he pulls in by the seatbelt and ditches his board

they talk about how hes wasting his life and nhl trials are in three months and blackasaur wants him to join this dangerous game and i think they went to school together despite him being 2x his age, but he might have been held back for drugs and b0ning in the sairwell

so mai guy bits in a slummy allwy and then we get creditsto a band playingand4 months later in central asia where borat is from is this arenalooking like a 00s mad max or less evlved tekken live action movie from 09

alo its in 00s color but dingry and muted and  widescreen

people watch this really 90s in ur face up ur a55sport rollerballwith motorcycles androller derby andspotlights andlights andsparks and cr-p

g i joe extreme! extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!!!

so man guy was onna be the next Wane Gretzky but turn it down to be in rollerball and 1 probably soviet guy has investers for this as blacksaur gives main guy armor to protect his spine from shatterage

so u gotta gi around the track 2x b4 scoring anddo some weird cr-p 1st andthrow it at these thngs to make the sparks fly and theres betting on it like all sports

like in soccer they bet if that devlved guy is gonna bite anyone again

o the main gy scores and they have him drnk orange cr-pon camera to sponsor it and the game goes on and they bust each other around as the money comes rolling in

1 guy grabs a chicks a55 and she slugs him and they dvolve into a fight and i think shes a frenchie, whch explains her b--ching out

a huge mongolian dude coems in weearing a daemon mask and main guy is told by blackasaur to stay away from him cuz he dont feel cr-p

2 chicks have crazy red masks like the guy/girl from GRavion with huge b00bs mizuki tachibana or maybe angel blade wth huge b00bs hazuki tachibana and they score

1 guys helmet comes off and gets his head mashed in by an emnemy team guy with a metal sphere and the tv guys strt the replay after the enemies knocked off his helmet

main guy sees the guy who wasted his homie andraces around the arena as others join in anda ban plays

theres a number of the global rating and it keeps going up like the power level in dbz/saint seiya

the game goes on a dthe guys beat each other aroun and i think the headbuster is beat down and main guy got a goal

aftet the 1st game we're 27 mins in anda reporter asks if blackasaurs mom is a crack wh-re and he sez shes a pediatritain

in the change room this frenchie player sez hes the rabbit and talks to gravin chick but she ain into him cuz hes a frenchie and lower evolved

theres a chick with her nips out and 1 guy shows his parts to a guy offscreen and afte that the main guy and blackasaur go out driving car like a fast and furious movie but not really brain damaged, only partly brain damaged

main guy sees sime guy in a trench coat being slapped after nearing a guy and they o to a club with busty chicka in right low cut cops i mean tops

1 chick gets a number tattooed on her facecuz face tattoos totally dont make you look like a malcontent

1 guy sez iys rough his freind got his head mushed and main guy sez its the game and 1 guy sez main guy makes more than him

the guys look over the helmet and it was cut in the chin strap and main guy goes to make a stink as bl;ackasaur follows

they mee the guy i though was soviet but is reall a frenchie from godzilla and he sez, hay hay my homie, and shows him an invester from montana

he reveals the chinstrtap was cut and frecnhie sez he swears that its good or hhe didnt know or w/e and main guy goes out for a fast drive at night while on a speaker phone with soem scuzzy guys

he goes to a gym and sees a chick working out w/o a top andshe takes out the cameras and is shadowed over so we dont see her nips

they b0ne in an industrial area and he wants to b0ne in a bed one day and her name is auror like the chick in robotech before the retcon

he wants her to come out of the shadows and she dont wanna andhe sez the helmet was cut and she sez THEY knew and planned it with 4 cameras following him and wanted him wasted for views

alo aurora has a scar over her face by the eye and looks bada55

later they ae ou and a buncha malcontents coem around thrashing tyhe place and burnign cars and p;aces and she saves him from it and from using a cellhphone they can track him on

they go to a slummy apartment and this guy attacks em and main guy beats him broken boned

the next day he comes bakc and sed he was partying andsome eutotrash guy sez "w found ur car, r u all right?" and he asks if he was followed

blackasaur sez they keep things statu quo, they play to win and if its too f'd they walk

later tney go to another game wit all these people there anda big show of dancers an lights and sparks and action 52 and the peopledrive their own cars as a rock band plays

they play against these knigt armored gys and win and frenchie guy gets his irish up and goe on a tirades agianst a guys saying he'd ice his whole fam

another game gors and these metal skull mask dudes do something and the game devolves into a riot and brawling the audience

main guyis unpleased that they are resorting to sacrificing people to get ratings and blackasuar sez its only a matter of time until it happened andtake the money and go with it

1 show has slipknight i mean slip knot and scar chick sez they found someone with something but i missed it and main guy sez to blackasaur the gameplan

as the game starts blacakasur asks if main guy wears his spine protector and frdcnhie boss gets his irish uo and slabps a gaijin and b--ches like a fenchie

in a mototcycle race scar chick is slugged off and a guy cuts the fuel line and retur5ns it to her but then drops a smoke and lights the fuel(which mythbusters proved dont work) and blacakaiser pulls her off as she nearly blows and the bike rols and goes up in a fireball

in the hspital frenchie boss meets blackasaur whos are both smiles and cheer and frecnhington sez main guy was made a star by him

later scar scich comes in as a sand dancer and brings incr-p to help em get to the ussr like snow den or the chick bi den b0ned woc with out consent and main guy wants scarchick to go with em but she dont

they dtive offb in nght vision and blackasaur sez not to attack frenching as hes too big and xeadly like back door billy who serves the gates of h-ll or zuckerskin and his ai cr-p

these guys attack em in the deert at night in cars and its a ar fight like speed racer

they beat em out and dri9ve off on a motorcycle after busting te enemy cr-p mobiles on a trck and drive 120 miles per hours(mles prowler known as tails) on a non offroad bike

the baddz follow em and are gaining but nt weight in the a55 like onlyfans and instagram models 

so the baddz wee in flying vehicles or w/e and evenually the good guys fall dowb a hill ad go on a freeway butthe badds fie at em and i think known em off

the bridge is going up and blackaaur is wounded and wants him to leave him but wait, i think its the other wayand blacaaiare drives over the bridge and makes itbut is snipeed as he gets to the checkpoint with i think a bazooka

once again, the black guy saufices hmself to save the white virgin, but herw hes a butt virgin

so frencasaur has main guy and offers him a chance to play and this gajin who was slapped sez cr-p i can hardly hear with his prissy sissy voice

frenchie le fruit offers main guy a chance to work in da mines and i think some other cr-p butmain guy wants part of the action with the media rights and gambling and i think frenchomite agrees and he wantsi think scarcgick trades to another team and not iced

frenchdomight is p-ssed and wants scarscik and main guy iced and he plans to have e dne in the match tonght

on the w to the arena a gaijin asks if hes ok sing his accident and whee blackasur is and he sez hes hard to hurt and  dont answe the 2nd question

th announcer sez blackasaur was crppled by malaria on an archelogical dig and mainguy sez he plays to get him to send auroa awa 

aurora is in the chane room realing only body armor with gaps and sees guys w=with dedly weapons, or lethal wepons, maybe 4 of em

other teams were transferreed in for this match and we see all hese mad max/the warriors wannabees come in as announcer sez main guy was recovering from a rck climbing accident and came back 4 da love of da game

main guy is told to play and she'd be off but announcer sez theres new rules, no penaltes or rules so you an ice guys if you want

mortal mkombat

main guy seeaz chick he b0ned and plays but she fights him to get on da ground and tell him to gtfo bt he dont wanna

theres brutal beats and the main guys coach wants a time out but main guy is wearing a spine protecter and his team mats get iced

main guy sez he'd give em a show abd gets beat on until gaijin  cuts the sattelite feed and the tea mmbers dont wanna play and 1 guy goes on the stands and cals it out

some one caps the guy andthe people stand up to the elites and cheer for main guy

as main guy scates lo another guy doesa leap andmain guy hits his legs so his hed busts on the stand ramp

main guy goes around the staduiand throws themetal bal through the glass into frenchies face hen jumps in da glass room and beats the guards b4 they cap him as if ur in 20idh feet u can take aguy out b4 he can pull and use his firearm

frenchuea gers a big gun but main guy blocks with a metal stool abd bats him dead as the game devoves into a beat out

gaijin has the keys to this thing frenchie wanted and ulla a gun to make main guy work for him but main guy uses frenchies shot gun to end him

so the game ends with a riot.massacre and love interxt scarred chik heps main guy get out and its implied they are gonna b0ne and started a revolution synchron in attack mode

then credits to 00s music

sound guy david stanke

ll cool j's hairguy; fred rogers

digital artit joe jackman, lik joejack in king of the hill?

the end

that was pretty cool

good action and music

the acting was a bit wooden but i've heard far worse

good filming and yeah the siting was a bit f'd but its an enjoyable time

its a simple story of sports gone bad and can be applied to real life like politics or media or w/e

its a fun movie and w/e everyone hated in this, i didnt see

its an action movie so it puts the action 1st, like romance movies dint put horror qst

this movie is pretty cool and i think was fun and entertaining

i liked this one

It might not be a meaningful epic like Gone With The Wind or Birth Of A Nation but its not trying to be

It entertains and I had a good time with it

I watched this cuz its rated one of the worst movies ever but I gave it a fair chance and didn't hate it

For Rollerball 2 I want it to be about the fall of rollerball leading to the fall of the slum countries and economy and how society in the cr-ppy ones gradually devolves until the good oes have enough of their cr-p and nuke em. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes tg16, atari jaguar and gba where 1 player is the main guy and player 2 is the chic he b0ned and you wail on gaijin and slummers and junkies and various animals who have more rights than humans and gaijin and get to the docks o escape the last slum country they fight their way through to get to  the sea efore its nuked.