The Kite Runner Review

 Note: I spell like I ran a kite up my a55

The Kite Runner

This is my review on The Kite Runner form the distnt furure yea to John A MacdDonald, of 2007(The year of Transformers Swaosn 4 in Amercia)

Its directed by  Marc Forster whio did Finding Neverland, which I crued at and was a meaningful film

It stars a buncha gaijin Ore Samma never saw i cr-o butwas based on a book by Khaled Hosseini who's kid got turned

it got some good views and reviews and the actors had mal;conents wanted yto ice the actors in it

i never saw tis b4 but its on chch and probably ciesnored things

so after credits and logos to exotic text and font and music, we geta white gaijin in the year 2000 and his womanwho had a book made and after seeing kids in the park flying kites

main guy gets a call from aguy and they talk in gaiinese and phone guy wants him to come home but he dont wanna but is tol its a bad time but can be good again

then in 1978 in pake stan are these gaijin kids flying kitses like the big bang theory dinks and battling em as tbey dont got dogs to cockfight or pokemon

the kite falls and the kid runs to it an through this town like in aladdin and finds a kid who sez the kite wil come here

they get along and are true friend and othe rkid would rather eat dirt than lie to him, like the harenchi gakuen guys

so then these deviolved looking dudes have some kinda business deals andlater main guy and his droog are heading home on a bridge with no rails so you can fall off easy

thers talk of the soviets attacking and dad knows his son wont get into fights as he lays down and takes it and lets the other c-ck suckers steal his toys but droog fights for him

main guys dad wants his son to have some g0n=ds but is told by his partner that the main guy isnt like him and wont be like him

later busness guy partner sez hes leanving for pake stan ansez thngs of droog getting his kite and dad hates him for icing his mom in chaildbierht

business partner reassures main guy that dad loves him and the later daylightmain guy and droog are playingcars and droog fires a slingshot at a german sheppard

they go to the movies as main uy had his allownece and watch the magnifficent seven again but its the cowboy ver not the real amurai one

on the way back theytalk of bronson sounding ira ni an cuz he was dubbed y that and this teen thtatens em for their race and them not beln-ngint in af gani stan

gaijin are gaijin, here we see em the same but there they hate each other, like koreas hating Japan or maruta hating Japan

so droog pulls a slingshot and teen backs off and they talk of a story main guy did where he wastes his woman cuz his tears become opears but droog sez "why not smell onion?"

so later dad tells son not to hang with these other gaijin and how all sin is from theft,lies steal truth and murder steals life

I should point out The Bbile calls The devil the father of lies, like with Eve and the Forbidden Fruit.

later main guy gets droog an american fightign kite and in the wastelanddroog has main guyread a story to him

later dad drives the boys to getta present in a less slummy area and he gets a kite

later it snows and dad sez at the kite mister torunament he iced 14 kites when he played and is this like beyblading?

so theygo to the snowy gaijin area and do super kite battler 64 with 1 guy steering the kite and 1 holding the thread

main guy wins anddroog runs to get the blue kite that was cut down in battle as i guess its like battle city and you take yout opponents thingif you win

main guy goes lokin for droog andhears the bigger boys wee after him and when he catches up to droog,the teen from b4 sees hes not got hsi slingshot andwants the kite in exchange for freedom

droog sez no and the kite is main guys and  teen sez main guy seez him as a pet and no one likes him and he's gonna be forgotten by him

then the teen and his homies beat the droog up and sodomize him

im not kidding, they b0ned him in th a55. it dont show any butt cheek or man parts butn it shows him unzipping and him on the ground

main guy runs and when the teen and his homies escape the droog who got bummed comes out and main guy claims to have only found him now as they walk and droog's butt leaks blood

i guess this is lgtbqia2+map, but candyt a55 back door soy boy beta male aids brigaides necro pedo sodom bottom open a55 wikipedia dont list it as such despite male on male b0ning

so now its night and main guy coms home anddad is proud and not like the month and later droog is sleeping often andthis moustache guyasks if hes ok and main guy covers it up saying hes sick

later el cid is playing anddad wants droog to come but son sez hes sick but dad sez hes never sick and should deal with the issue

later droog is trying to read and wants main guy to read him stuiff but main guy throws rfruit at him and tells him to ht back but he dont cuz hes kidn and is called a chciken sh-t

i know hes trying to toughen him up butthis might f uhim up worse than the teen b0ning his a55 as he lieks main guy and not the teen who b0ned him

kater main guy asks dad if he wants new servants butdad tells him off for beign a c-clk sucker and might beat him if he keeps it up for bringign shame to him

later is a b day party andmoustache guy gives gievs him a new book and teen who b0ned his friend is there and he has to shake his hand he probably had in someones a55

at night main guyis alone and business partner cspends time with him and giebs him a book to write his ieas in as fireworks happen

at the party, droog has to serve drinks to the teen who b0ned his a55 and i think droogs fam is a servant fam to main guys, possible indentured

later main guy is looking at his watch then asks dad where it is and later its found in droogs room and he takes the blame for it

dad forgievs him but mustahce guy sez he cant work here anymore and dad begs him to stay but he goes

the main guys is a little c=ck sucker, he should have been bummed!

also this seems a lot liek slumdog millionaire, but more sodomy

then its december 1979 and the soviets attack anmain guys dad has to skip town cuz he said he dont like commies

huh, the dad is played by Homayoun Ershadi from zero dark thrityy

so they are leaving in a truckan a societ wants to b0nethis guys woman as soviets did that to the Germans in teh war but dad stands up for her even if he'd be iced

the hgher rank soviet comes by and makes him stand down b4 he befouls em both and the truck leaves and th wifes husban thanks him

at nightthey sto and change trucks as they dont got enuff money to get em across the boarder in that truck and dad takes some dirt from the ground i his locket as a last keepsake of his omeland takes over by the ussr

see also poland and east ermany

so they are in a tanker truck or w/e andtravel the wasteland like wityh mexico guys trying to escape that cesspolole while canaians comes to vacation there

later its the 1st world and dad is working in a gas station as despite beign hot sh-t in the third world, he's a dsmall fry in the 1st

he gets a suit and sees his son gaduate and later they go out for a drink

oh its 1988 and reagan is doing his part to stop the ussr and son sez he dont wanna be a dr but a writerand dad is bummed

huh the guy playing the adult main guy was Khalid Abdalla and did Assassin's Creed

later hemeets a general from the old country and wants main guy to writye his peoples stories instead of fiction

so he writes a sorry and has money and dad later wants him not to embarrass himself  and he sez he pays his respects to this chick who i think he marries

they get along and like storeuis and he read one shes reading and he goes back to writing and returns but general sez everyone is a writer here and throws his sotry to the side

so dad has a coughing fit and when he finds out the dr's family originally came from russia he walks out, even though the russuians suffered most from the russians and many fled the ussr to have a good lie in the 1st world

so son writes a story called the sultans of kabul and dad dont like the ending andiis tired of being on life supprot machiena and wants to go home

generaland his fam come by and sez if he needs anything he can get itbut both turn down a free wish of the dragon balls

main guy goes out and chick follows and sez his story made her cry

later dads at home andson has him ask the general for the generals daughyers hand in marriage

she accepts but later she tells him she ran off with an aff gan man and dad made her come home and she b-=ched out for it and they moved here so they'd not have issues

so he dont care she b0ned b4 and might have aids and marries her anyway and has a gaijin wedding

dad bites it and its 2000 before oh bba mma attacked the tQvverz and prenagram and  i think its business partner whos biting it andmain guy goes to pake stan 

he finds the gov banned kite flying like schools banning yugioh csrds and hes played by Shaun Toub who was in the 2006 The Nativity Story and played pinter in Seinfeld, Malcolm in the MiddleThe Sopranos

he sez how he deticated his book to partner who listened to his stories

artner sez after cr-ppy rrvants he brought drogs back with his wife and son but the tow e ban came by when he said hes looking after the housewhule partner was out but they didnt buy it and iced him and his woman who attackede, while his kid went to an orphanarium

also roog taught himself ro read and write and sent a letter to partner and partner reveals that droog was his half brother as the moustache guy has bad parts and his wpman left him and had a few daughters with another man

he betrayed his owen brother and cost his dad his illegitmate son

this main guy is a real c=ck sucker. i hope he gets sodomized for it!

also if this were an anime, the droog would be the main guy and the main guy his rival

so main guy goes to get his nephew and reas a nie letter from him saying he misses his storys and hopes to have main guy meet his son but things s=ck in tht cesspool and he taought him to rwad/write and inclued a photo of him and his son

main guy calls his wife and tells the story and goes off in a mad max wasteland by jeepwith a fake beardand guide and passes a checpoint with hairy smelly gaijin all over ready to b0ne him dead and eat him after

he tells guide of the boy and how the dad was his bro andgoing through his old haunt finds its goe hokuto no ken and the soviets cut the trees away

it stinks of diesel as they use generators andtheres cr-ppy power grids with trucks of gunmen driving by that ice u for looking at em cockeyed

they go to a slum and ask for the boy and the owner tries to send em off but its explained hes the ubcle andowner tels  em a guy comes by from the tow e ban and buys a kid, usually a girl, but sometimes he gays out, and he has to do it to ave the other kids or they take 10

smetimes the ids come back and he tells em where the guy is as he makes speeces at halftime

they go to this f'd out residence and in this socer staduim is guys playing amd some ae White

this guy comec in a trck like south in hokuto no ken or the slum king m violence jack oav 1 and has2 people  ice for his gods laws for adultery, which if you rwad The Bible, The SDavior says Zlet He who is w/o sin cast the 1st stone, but these guys follow another god and end em with stones

guide who looks like a les africnized forrest whitaker, arranges a meeting andin a place with reesan grassmain guy is drove by guide who lets him go in

so hes let in this locke gate andfrisked andis told to sit at gunpoint

the guards go and the sputher slum kingwait, its not is another guy who wants him to take off is beard and sez the souther guy is busy

he has main guy take off his beard and turban a dsz hes from america and calls him a traitor to his god as hes in America

s-so da boy comes in and dances fr em and i think this guy is b0ning him and recognizes main guy and holy cr-p its the teen who b0ned his droog

he grew up and eot on gaying yunger guys ad and b0-ched at him for leaving the lad as the soviets sh-t up the plaxe, then sez "i didnt say u can have him for free" and beats the cr-p outra main guy

droog jr uses a slingshot to nail his b0ner in te face and escapes with is uncle and if only he told the authorites that the teen b0ed his frend they could have executed him anddroog jr would be a butt virgin

so they get to the jeep and escape as gaijin open fire on em like contra ad find thatparner bit it while they were out

te next day main  guy wakes up all beat to h=-=ll and jr is gine and e goes loking for him in this aladdin ike place but slummed out

he mees him in their gods temple and he prays to his god and NOT the God of AbrahamIsaac/Jacob

wait i think hes not therw and he finds jr on stars where hes told jr used be b0ned b4 am prayers but man guy sez he wont bum i again

jr is forgetting his fams faces and is glad they casnt see him after his b0ning and dad comforts him and they go to America and main guys wifewelcomes her nephew in like Kenshiro and Ryu being Raoh Jr

later eneral who looks like Jack Pershing, is worried of wgat people will think but main guy stands up for him and sez nt to call him a servant but use his name and hes his nephew

general slices him open and pulls out his intestines then begis forcefeeding them to mai uy and saying "ur guts are by c=ck!!"

jk really main guy takes his nephew kite flying and sz his dad could sense where kites would land

wich is kinda f;d as his dad got bumed for the kiteso mzin  guy ke fghts a guy and theres sot moving music playing and is like forrest gump with the feather

main guy wins anfruns to catch it and nephew jr followsand looks over as credits play and the camera pans up and goes black

the end

that was pretty good

its dark but not depressing and sre but not graphic

it tells a heartfelt story and even makes the sodomy work fr the story

it shows the spider man thing where he could have stopped the guy when he had the chance but didnt and a rekatve(nephew/uncle) got f;d by him

its got nice colors and music and the acting is quite good

its long but dont feel it and holds attention withit flowing and not dragging

its got some heart and tells a weird and f'd up story but seems to fit

it shows how the soviets and after effects damaged a nation and being el polen zakken i have sme knowing of it a tad

its got friendship breaking but his roog never gave up on him even after his betrayal

and his attempt to attone for his c=cksuckerish behabvior by saving his droogs son from a sodomite

its a good film ut the people of the land its srt in hated it and wanted to ice the actor who played the droog i think cuz he made the soomizers look bad and the sodomized looom wimpy

its not hisrace, its his chatacter, like a movie of a grman into SM, not all germans are, but this one is, like Kekko Kamen OAV 1

He comes full circle from dad telling him off for being aganst servants to standing up ffor his part servant nephew

its a pretty well done film and is like sailor moon, dark themeed, bright colored and with sodomites

For The Kite Runner 2 I want the son to be a teen and the guy who b0ned him comes back and tracked him down to hsi city with his connections in the gov and networks, so he's gotta get to the cops and gets weapons and armor and get a crew tohtehr before the b0ning guy comes there, also main guy has to do missions to help peopel and get it all done before the sodomizer arrives. its also a 128 but game on dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox lie Shenmue where you gotta do cr-p and in the end its a big battole with a huge melee btween the sodomizers force and main guys.