Troy Review

note; just got a new computer and the keboard is kinda bad

troy

this is my review on troy (2004 version)

as a 90s kid I heard this story a lot on tv

I think there was an ep of "mythic warriors: guardians of the legend" about it

that was a good show

nd several student bodies actors were in it

or were they from degrassi?

maybe sailor moon

also my dad read me the Iliad from his collection of classic's illustrated comic books

and of course Hercules and xena

although I hAvent read the book in years\

it starts with text that sez achillies int happy with kig agganenmon

and king is trying to take over or something

we get some narration basically sayng; in 100 years what will this matter?

then we get some solders lining up and 2 chariots meet

2 geezers talk and decide instead of a war, they'd have their best man each fight

this big hairless buff gay comes up but achilies there

aw gay its brad pitt as achilies!

he talks with a kid and the kid sez achilies mom was a goddess

the kid sez he wouldn't wanna fight the big guy

brad pitt sez that's why no one will remember him

brad coms back and the king isn't on good terms with him

so brad fights the big buff guy

he kills him in 1 hit

the geezer gives brad a ruler item for his king but brad sez "hes not my king"

then a king of Sparta has a dinner with paris(the torjan)

its a peace meeting with troy and Sparta

is that erich bana??

is that olando bloom?

paris comes upstairs and talks to this blonde

its revealed they've been b0ning all week

she tries to not b0ne him but gets nude and they b0ne

we don't see her huge nipples

after they b0ne shes worried about her man killing both of em

al she don't wanna lose him as hes going home soon

what about the goddesses?

wasnt this b0nig started cuz a goddess made her love paris?

later bloom and bana are boating home and he reveals he took the blonde

also when bloom started telling bana about it he said

last time you talked like this you stole fathers horse

I assume he was b0ning the horse too

bana argues with bloom but lets him keep her

then he Sparta king tells aganemnon about his woman getting swiped by troy

the aganemnon uses this as an excuse to attack troy as he wanted to b4

but he needs brad pitt to do it

brad pit has a sword fight with a younger male

but its with wood swords

Odysseus comes by to get brad to join em in fighting the Trojans

also the younger male is brads cousin\

brad talks to his mom

she sez if he don't go he gets a happy life and a good family

but if he goes to troy hes gon get iced ad become a legend

btw, all these blonde greeks have obviously dyed hair

I didn't know they had blonde dye in bible times

so brad goes to troy

at troy, Orlando bloom and helen and erich bana rach home and go to their dads place

they all kiss to greet each other as theyre European

also blooms cousin chose to be a shrine virgin to their sun god

shuldnt she have swastikas on her robes? for sun worship?

bana wants his dad to make bloom return helen

but the dad (king priam/optimus prime) sez their sungod will protect em

at night bloom suggests them running away

helen sez Sparta king would wack everyone to get her back

the next day we get a shot that makes troy look like a bad n64 game

later the war bell rings and a battle starts at the beach

on the way thee, brad pitt(in a rather saint seiya style armor) breaks rank and goes in on his own with his 50 men

he has his cousin stay on the boat as he don't want him to fight

we then get a semi saving private ryan style battle

the greeks link shields and use it as a barrier from arrows

after some sword melee more greeks arrive\

1 big buff long haired greek guy comes in and busts em

he looks like a level boss in a beat em up

brad pitt epically f's them up and they win

brad pit sez for them to loot the place but a soldier sez the sun god sees everything

its a temple to him

so brad pit slices off a gold statues head

more Trojans arrive but he is levels beyond them

he goes into the temple and when they follow they get ambushed

brad talks to hector and brad wants to fight in public in an epic battle

also brads men iced the defenceless priests

brad is so arrogant here

and he don't care for those he kills or their famlies

hector returns home and brad talks to the big buff long hair (revealed to be ajax)

btw, I don't think this happened in the real version

bana's cousin was captured and maybe b0ned by the greeks

bad pit is shown as innocent of icing priests and claims hes seen the gods

also he doesn't mo lest her

later brad pit goes to see agenemnon who is pomicing eating in troy tomorrow

hes cocky

\he sez brad didn't win but he did as hes a king

in America we don't have kings

these people are more like the brits

then he has banas cousin brought in and I gonna b0ne her

theres some arguing and the cousin sez she don't want anyone to die for her

later the tojans are having a meeting about the war

hector(erich bana) disagrees with the omens of the high priest's fortellings

as a superstitious man(with superstitious grandma's) I say if theres a sign, its best to follow

also hes disenfranchised by seeing brad bit attack his sungod statue and not getting iced by the sungod

but he don't know achilies is part god

lke Hercules, castor, pollux, perseus and other heroes made into yugioh cards

at night the Trojans talk about their worries for the coming battle

the next day brad pit is malcontent over the king being an a55

hes disgruntled about all the men he killed waiting for him in h-ll

brad pitt goes to h-ll, the final Friday

so brad pits cousin goes instead

Orlando bloom has a 1 on 1 fight with the greek side

I just realized that the greeks using achilies is like in yugioh how kaiba had a god card

unfair

athough nowadays we have cards that an counter it or exceed its atk

bloom and bana meet agenemnon and the Sparta king (oh and the geezer from b4)

aganenon wants troy to work for him and to surrender helen

bana tell him to f off

bloom wants to face the Sparta king over helen

aganemnon don't accept but Sparta king gets him to

time for a boss battle!

Orlando fights an in even battle and isn't as big or strong as the Spartan

he is kinda f'd up

tag out!

he runs away like a candy a55

 don't recall this from the books

hes gonna ice Orlando bloom but erich bana wastes the Spartan

the greeks attack and bloom runs home with his cut up leg

but goes back to get the holy sword

they get in and the sides fight

ajax fights hector and is a monster like the guy n 300

but hector wins

the sniper archers are picking off greeks easy and eventually the greeks retreat

hector sez to send an emissary to the greeks to let them know to collect the fallen

but a guy asks, would they do the same for us?

this make s the trojans look like the good guys

but we all know what happens

maybe its like with ww1 and the brits winning?

at night Orlando and helen talk about him being a candy a55 and she tries to cheer him up

agenenmon argues with his advisors over them needing to be there as the Sparta bit it

bt he wants t stay to save face

also

the cousin of hector is getting roughed up and almost branded by greeks

I assume they were gang b0ning her in the real version

was she in the real version?

but brad pit saves her

they talk about soldiers and war

also bad challenges her faith in her pagan gods

he sez their gods envy humans over their live term limits

I'm not sure that's how it works Bradley

who wrote this?

maybe the guys who made that noah movie with russel crow

that was all kinds of screwed up

I mean its well made but the story is all wrong

what next?

lincon eating the slaves??

later the cousin has brad at knife point and is gonna ice him

but they b0ne instead

the next day brad pit gets ready to leave and a guy gets him to stay and fight

he also gives good advice

brad pits cousin dnt want him to go and wants to fight

also hector wants to stay defensive a its the logical choice

but the kings advisor wants them to attack

so they attack

also brad pit b0nes hectors cousin again

but the Trojans attack

they set small fires and roll yarn balls at em so they get burned and crushed and things explode

this is turning into a ww1 film with its looks

the next day they greeks and trojans fight

but the fight stops as hector fights achillies

and hector wastes him

but its really achilies's cousin in achilies's armor

then the sides leave

in the book hector cut holes in the cousin and dragged him around in is chariot

brad pit is p-ssed that his men went into battle against his orders

but the men thought the cousin was him

he flips out and chokes the messenger and hectors cousin

I assume he was violently b0ning them in the real version

later hector tells his woman of a secret way out of the city

he sez if he bites it and falls, the greeks will waste the men, splatter the babies and use the chicks as butt slaves

sounds like the soviets in ww2

the next day achilies and hector suit up and go to a battle

hectors cousin ties to stop achillies from icing hector

hector says bye to his fam and woman and child and goes out to face his rival

hector asks for a pact for the loser to get a decent burial

achillies tells him to f off and hes gonna butcher him

they fight

its pretty even

but rad pit gets a few hits

hector winds up shanked in the shoulder with a spear part and shived in the chest with a blade

then brad pit tied up erich bana and drags him around on his chariot

w/o hector doing it 1st it kina f'd up the motive

at least hes not b0ning the corpse

he brings it back and the hector cousin is unhappy

what a d-ck

at night king priam sneaks into achillies tent

he wants his son

brad pit sez "he killed my cousin" but king priam sez; how many have you killed?

brad pit sees himself as some kind of ubermench just cuz hes 1/2 god

priam tries to reason with him

and somehow it worked

he gives back the body and the cousin he b0ned

then sez sorry for hurting her

Agamemnon is disgruntled over Achilles promising 12 days of peace to priam

later the greeks are leaving and they left a huge wood horse

Orlando bloom wants to burn it

the advisor wants it as a gift to the gods

they bring it in

a guy sees  greek ships nearby in a hidden zone

but falls off his horse and is KO'd

out of the horse the greeks come out and open the gates and slay he guards

then more greeks come in and waste everyone

the also torch the place

wtf

achillies spares people for having kids and lets em out

doesn't he get iced by paris in the heel?

Orlando bloom gives his holy sword to a guy and sez

as long as its in the hands of a Trojan, they have a future

then goes off to fight

1 Trojan sez

the boatman waits for us, make him wait longer

like that line in 300

tonight! we dine! in h-ll!

the king priam bits it

gammenmn catches the cousin and wants her as a slave

but she shanks him

soldiers catch her but achillies saves her

then Orlando bloom fires a buncha arrows into brad pitt as the cousn tries to stop him

1 in the heel

it don't explain why that's what gets him

in the real story he was dipped in magic fluid and was held by the heel to lower him in

the fluid gave him invincibility

they cut the whole "influence of pagan gods" parts

despite it being the main force of he story

its like cutting God out of the 10 commandments

it takes away the driving force of the story

odssyeus sez their story will live on

that wont do much good for em in h-ll

oh and some trojans escape

the end

that movie wasn't bad

good fight scenes

but they cut the gods!

its like star wars w/o the force

ooh, peter o'toole was in this

he was the priam and was good in it

better than Lawrence of arabia

for troy 2 i' like for the king to have survived by making a demon pact and is now super strong and has black ki attacks. but the people of troy have been going around lace to place outside the greek powers and making allies with the eastern Europeans like Poland and Ukraine. they gather enough allies to wage a counter attack to bring down the greeks. but the greeks have been experimenting with black magic and have fused their soldiers into double soldiers; 2 people in 1 with 4 legs, 4 arms and have 2x the size of a real man. so they pray and get angels to help hem and its an epic dbz/ Robotech battle of angels and poles vs double soldiers and greeks. also the sword of troy has a magic power that lets the user go god mode and raises their power to their opponent power + 1.

The Craft Review

note; I has no plans on imporoving my spellings

the craft

tiis is my review on the craft

as a kid I often got it mixed with the crow

only 2-3 letters off

both came out in the mid 90s

after seeing both I can tell em apart

as I never saw either in da 90z

it starts with some teens doing a black magic ritual

just like yugioh

then we gets a barrage of occult imagery and the tital

ooh, neve cambell is in this

and skeet untcich

im not familiar with them

then we get this 90s teen moving in to a new home and she sees a snake on the way there

I like the 90s look sound and feel of this

its like my youth

then a homeless guy comes in and offers her a snake

the dad chases him out

how random

later she is going to school but don't have a uniforme yet

I think its a catholic school

the black magic teens walk through the halls and guys fear em

they seem goth

they talk about having "a fourth"

as in air fire water earth

or north south east west

then theres French class

I always hated French class

my teacher was a butthole

also the school is in LA and the kids would rather learn mexican

the new girl makes a pen spin on its tip on her desk with black magic

the goths want her as their fourth

contra 4 was awesome

as was phantasy star 4

later this 90s guy(named chris) talks to the new gril

he warns her about the goths

1 is a sl-t

one is covered in burn scars(which isn't bad)(scars are cool)

and theyre witches

then chris goes to footfall practice

as the new girl watches football, the goths come to her and make friends

the neve cambell has personal hate for him

I think they b0ned and she was bad in bed

ohhhh

the new girl moved here cuz she slit her wrists

emo!!

and she seemed so normal

she and the goths go to a magic shop

but not like in pee wees big adventure

the burn girl tries to get the new girl to shoplift

the magic shop lady knows her ring is from her mom and the new girl buys stuff

on the way home the homeless guy followes her saying he dreamed of her

but a car kills him

the chix run but they said they made it happen

the goths say that they worship a force called "manon"

they describe it as "if God and the devil were playing football, its the stadium"

they obviously have no perception on God

as does the writer apparently

God isn't the devil's rival

this like saying the green goblin is stan lee's rival

and marvel comics is the stadium they fight in

also; this force they worship seems a lot like that thing in star trek

later chris and the new girl are on a roof and talking about her head being big or something

he likes her head

ive heard of foot fetish

but

head fetish?!?!

later the goths say chris said he liked other chix and b0ned em

wait

he said he b0ned the new girl

later, at the school pool, the sl-t doesn't dive despite standing on the board for a while

when she does dive, this pretty blonde yells SHARK and she flopps

later she jokes about the sl-ts hair

and jokes she don't like blacks

nowadays that would be depicted as worse and the girl would have viet nam flashbacks or mental attacks

later the burn girl gets skin treatment

I think they're tattooing her burned skin

but it hurts

then the new girl has dreams of cutting herself and maybe drinking it

then the neve cambell comes home to her trailer and smokes as her drunk inbred hick rents argue

later the girls take a bus to the beach

on the bus are some blonde kids

its like me in the 90s

but I was like 9 when this came out

and playing sega genesis

spider man vs the kingpin

btw, they go to the woods, not the beach

they have some weird rituals with a dagger

then mix their blood in a chalice and drink it

you gon get aids!

they ask for things b4 chugging the blood

the sl-t asks to not hate (esp the blonde)

the new girl asks to not hate chris

the burn girl asks for beauty

the neve cambell asks for the power of manon

then butterflies come down and hang with em

the next day chris is gay for the new girl

hes addicted to her

this is like something the chicks from sailor moon or wedding peach would fight

screwing with hearts

well, this is the 90s.

imagine if they had the craft vs sailor moon

wait

hes her slave

er the chix are having a slumber party

they play "light as a feather, stiff as a board"

they chant the games name and lift her up to float like a foot in da air

they they remove their fingers from herand she's floating

this is going dbz!

then the mom comes in and she falls

we then get a 90s motage of the girls

then the new girl pulls a hair from the blonde and ties it in the sl-t's hair

the new girl sez her current mom is new and her real momk bit it giving birth

also the burn girl asks for manon to take her scars

I should note that "ma" in Japanese can mean both magical and demon and evil depending on how its spelled

later the blonde is swimming and her hair starts coming out

that's awful

a girl's hair is her individuality and expression

to steal it is like taking someones skin and eyes and clothes

wedding peach is extremely angry with you!

then the burn girl's skin fully heals as the damaged skin comes clean off leaving good skin

later the burn girl comes in showing her healed arms for once(which might be censored in some countries)

at night the neve cambells dad is playing around and sez he's not her real dad

his woman pushes him too far and he snaps

then the microwave burtts and the guy bites it

turns out right b4 he bit it, he signed a huge insurance policy

and the mom/ neve cambell get 175 000 $

she moves into a penthouse and her mom blows cash on a jokebox that only plays connie francis

also the neve cambell discovers illusion magic

they use it and change their hair and eye color with it

1 girl wants a smaller a55

but most guys like huge butts

look at all those rappers

then its 3 am and chris comes by the new girls place and is obsessed and addicted to her

they goes to the magic shop  undo the spell but they say magic cant be undone

then they say magic isn't good or bad but both like nature

I've played Dungeons and Dragons and those rules she said are a big load of CR-P

she also says whatever you do, comes back 3x

so if I cast 1 fireball, 3 fireballs attack me?

no one would be a mage if that were true!

then they buy a high level book and go to the beach

the new girl sez when she cut herself she saw bugs/snakes

the neve cambell sez;the serpent is a powerful thing

reminds me of that leather bikini sorceress from slayers "naga the serpent"

she was like the 1.5th best magic user in the show

they then have a black magic/hippie ritual and lightning zaps em

speaking of D&D...

worst D&D idea; everyone gets "virtuous feat Chastity" and all the enemies are succubus, incubus and tentacle monsters.

the next day they wake up and neve cambell is walking on water(using 90s cgi)

then they see dead fish on the beach and for some reason the cops were called

neve cambell goes cheerfully mental

the new girl feels bad about screwing with chris's heart

she also says the burn girl is getting full of herself

and the neve cambell is paranoid

as they drive the gils use their black magic to turn the traffic lights green

it almost kills people

in the shower the blonde's hair is still going and she's really upset

ironic that one girl improves her looks while the other ruins someone elses

but both are bad guys

the new girl finally goes out with chris but when she talks to him he just agrees with her

he gets more touchy feely and she leaves

then he tries b0ning her

but she fights him off and runs to the sl-t's place

the girls talk and its revealed theres a party

so the neve cambell goes there

she brings the chris to a room and tries to seduce him

its implied they b0ned b4

but he turns her down

so she turns into the new girl with well done 90s cgi right infront of him

despite seing her change, he doesn't get it and they b0ne

the other chix come there

the new girl comes in on them b0ning and she turns back

he realizes shes a wich but don't believe he only feels that way cuz of a love spell

he accuses the neve Campbell of being jealous and she goes on a feminist tirade and kills him while freaking out

the new girl thinks he wasn't such a bad guy deep down and uses a spell to stop the neve cambell

but is tormented by then in her dreams and at school

she wants to leave the gang but the girls say if she does she better skip town

the neve Campbell sez in the past if a witch betrayed her gang they'd ice her

just like with gangs, the mob and unions

she  goes to the majik sjop lady for help who brings her to a pentagram room

she is told she has a strong light inside her and her mom was a witch

to win she must surrender to a higher power

sounds like AA

they start a ritual but a fireball hits the store and she books it home

no ones there and she gets a call saying her rents went back to san fran sisko

also the plane broke up and iced everyone

this is why I don't use planes

a car breaks you can wak

a boat breaks you can swim

a plane breaks you bit it

she then sees cgi snakes and bugs everywhere

how queer

I dreamed of bugs in my home last night

then the illusion stops and the neve Campbell busts in lolling at her

the chix are gonna ice her and make it look like suicide

they use illusion magic to make her see bleeding wrist scars and a fake note

she runs upstairs and when the neve cambpell sends the other 2 chicks upstairs she's casting a spell

the burn girl has fredy Krueger skin and the sl-t has hair stuff

they run out and the new girl invokes manon

her wrists heal and pictures turn into moving sky with 90s cgi

the neve Campbell comes up and the new girl sez that manon(refered to as a male He) saved her

he wants to punish neve cam,bell for abusing her power

then neve cambers skin and hair turn to garter snakes and bugs come out her a55 and down her jeans using 90s cgi

then it ends

she sea sorry but the new girl starts using a spell to stop her

neve cambell freaks out and attacks but it fails

this is pretty good horror

neve cambpell gets kicked into a mirror(not inside it. it shatters) and the new girl finishes the spell

the next day the burn and the sl-t return and say the plane thing was an illusion and theyre sorry

they question her powers as they walk away but the new girl uses her power to cause lightning and wind to nearly ice em

meanwhile neve cambell is strapped to a bed and in a nut house

wait

I think neve cambell and the burn girl were switched

as in I called them the wrong names

im not sure

the credits roll with a song that would fit the crow

the end

that was good

as a 90s kid I feel nostalgia from it

for the craft 2 I'd like for the girl in the nut house at the end to have gotten pregnant from b0ning chris and her kid has super magic powers from being conceived in a uterus in a body full of magic. also the blonde has become a wutch hunter and used holy things to break the spell on her. she goes around from place to place icing witches with holy weapons and holy armor. also shes a female bodybuilder and wears little to show off her huge bulky muscles which she uses to rip witches in half with her bare hands. then in the craft 3 I'd like for the kid of the nuthouse girl to try to destory the world as its actually manon who manipulated the girls into filling up on magic and b0ning outside of marriage so it could come into our world. its revealed that manon is an ancient demon who wants the souls of all humans. and only the magic resistant blonde with an immunity to it can save us.by hunting it down and icing everyone helping it by punching holes in em and the black magic oozes out. this is also a sega genesis and snes 16 bit beat em up with player 1 as the blonde and player 2 as an angel sent to help her save the world

Mr Smith Goes To Washington Review

note; spelling rigute are am for a buttmos
mr smith goes to washimgtpn
thias is my review on mr smith goes to Washington
its by frank capra abnd jimmy stewart
we all know of the mel gibson version on the simpsons
but this is the original
lets see if its any good
it starts wuth opening credits and the roger ramjet theme
ooh, claude rains is in this
hrs good
loved the invisible man
it starts with people calling eachother (including senator pain)
some guy bit it
they need to replace him
in the senate
ooh, the dad from our man godfrey is in this
they wanna build a dam but the replacement guy might screw it up
they buried the building thing in a bill
pain wants to upgrade his position
also the dam project has a lot of sneaky sh-t involved in it
hey wanna nominate a yes man but the people reject it
so another guy is selected
but theres issues with him
at dinner his kids (and theres a lot of em)comment on his dealings
they wanna nominate mr smith
hes a real american
and kids love him
and he's in the boy scouts
the kids say since 50 000 kids love him, theuir parents will listen to  politics
my a55
mine don't like my political views
they also believe in evolution, global warming, j fk's official story, n|ne ||, and princess daianna being only killed in an accident
in other words, they're deniers
then mr smith was chosen
the bad guys say this can turn out well for em
at a banquet, the guy with 20 kids praises himself for choosing a man of the people, not some political insider
mr smith gives a shakey speech saying his dad was homies with pain
he sez he never will dishonor his position
unlike most people in the system nowadays
the boyscouts give him a brief case and they play the song from the end of its a wonderful life
the kids love him
if this were made today he'd be b0ning them and the scandle would be about him
later he talks with pain
mr smith's dad didn't buy into the corrip[tion so he got iced
sounds like princesss daianna
or marylin Monroe
later he is carrying a box of birds
he meets a buncha chix and 1 is pains kid
later, smith is unaccounted for and the badds are looking for him
mr smith is looking through american landmarks like the constitution or statues of the founding fathers
most of em owned slaves btw
not that theres anything wrong with that
this is really patriotic
he also looks at a lincon statue
unlike biden(who disagrees with the state of the unborn but does nothing) lincon fought against constitution and supreme court decisions and is remembered as a hero
everyone thinks hes out drinking
in the real version they might've thought he was out b0ning
the daughter (pain jr) finds him and reports hes found and sober
smith explains he saw the sights of the capital
I forgot to mention pain jr is paid to keep an eye on smith and maybe seduce him
after a car ride, she likes him and wants to quit
in an interview he sez he wants a boys camp in his state to help poor kids an the kds pay the gov back in change they find
he sez pain jr is pretty
and does some nature cr-p like bird calls
the papers exaggerate his stories to cause a sensation
like with rob ford getting attacked by the mainstream media for not being 1 of em
pain sez to pain jr to keep smith away from their sh-t
in parliament, this little boy explains how things work
like when you start a modern game and get a tutorial
wtf
the kids name is Richard jones
like rick jones from hulk
or dick jones from robocop
oh and the desk mr smith has was once denial websters
I don't know who that is
they start with a prayer b4 doing politics
nowadays tat would cause the malcontent liberals to call it offensive as not everyone believes
not everyones black. is black history month offensive?
b4 smith is sworn in, a guy attacks smith's character over newspaper propaganda
pain defends him
he's sworn in with an oath to defend america fro enemies foreign and domestic
liberals don't do either and say anyone who does is a "racist"
after a montage where h does stuff (im not really paying attention) he goes to the paper guys
they say stuff that encourages him to get off his a55
he talks to pain and wants to make a difference
pain sez this is gov sh-t that's made my legal minds
in other words; only we can do it
he tells smth to make his own bill over the boys thing
pain jr talks with smith and hes fumbling around with is hat cuz hes got a b0ner
trips over a desk as he leaves
later he talks with pain jr about how top make a bill
they talk over it over the night and smith wants to inspire pro american feelings in the kids so they can love their country
unlike all these commies in Hollywood and tumber hating it
wait
the girl hes talking to is called ms sanders
I thought it was pain jr
srs jean Arthur
he wants to know her 1st name but she don't wanna say it
afte gurssing she sez its clairissa
in parliament smith tries to introduce his bill
hes not experienced in it ad everyone lols at him
he ses his idea but does it all cr-ppy
but the boys cheer for him
later the dad from godfrey warns pain that smith is trouble and wants to wack him
at smiths office people want sh-t from him
hes aso got mail
its change from boys who wanna be in his boys camp
pain jr calls and sez she is gonna do stuff with smith tomorrow
sanderas answers and is displeased
smith talx to her and fumbles with his hat
I assume that's 30s censorship for him getting a b0ner
the sanders is malcontent over te pain jr getting smith
she and a bad guy worry about being found out about their scheme
so they go to dinner and drink booze
she wants to marry the guy
they talk about nature and she reveals shes named clairissa
she sez she don't wanna let pain jr cut up mr smith and runs out to save him
she gets back and is disgruntled and finds smith not chopped up
she tells smith to go home and hes too pure for politcs
she reveals that theres a dam going up to fill out the area he wants to have the boys camp
and pain jr took hi out that day to keep him from hearing of it
smith talks to pain about the project an knows that he knows of the guy benefiting from it
the godfrey dad calls the headmaster and the badds argue
pain sez he'd handle it but don't wanna be part of icing him
the headmaster sez he made pain a senator and sez he can replace him
pain sez he don't wanna be too rough with smith
are they gonna b0ne him into submission?
the headmaster talks to smith and tries to bribe him
he also reveals he controls things
smith goes to see pain but pain sez not to f with things
pain sez he gave in to be part of the machine to help
in parlement smith calls ouit the bill with the badd benefit
but pain jumps in saying smith isn't fit to work I politics
he sez smiith owns the land for the boys camp and wants to profit
the news gets out and smith gets a hearing
at the hearing people lie about it
this movie is a lot like mr deeds goes to town
when mr smith is gonna give his side, he runs out
smith looks at the lincon things
he cries and the sanders comforts him
tjis reminds me of something that happened when I was in the womb
in the 80s my dad went to japan on a business trip and in america a politic guy had a conference in his office
he was accused of stealing money
so he ate his gun
in america it showed a gun or the guy holding it
in japan it showed his head popping
it turned out he was framed and had he defended himself it would bankrupt his fam defending it
so he ate his gun to give them a benefit for biting it in office
and as he was never fired or w/e they got enough cash to survive
although I'd rather have my fam than cash
cash can be replaced easy
so the sanders cheers up the smith
in parlement they wanna kick out mr smith
but b4 he's fired (ike dick jones in Robocop) he is still a senator and has the right to speak
and he starts talking and sez he wont yield
pain tried to shut him up
but smith wont and he outs the headmaster
pain sez he was in the room with the headmaster and smity and the badds but lies for why
mr smith wants 1 week to clear his name
the senators say no]
the senators leave saying they wont come back til he leaves
so smith calls to the people
using signals from the sanders, he uses a rule in the books to force a quorum
the headmaster tries to get pain to ruin smith
he sez to keep the pro smith facts out of his papers
this is like hilery vs Donald
a big corrupt media owning insider vs a normal guy who wants to do good and has the people n his side
the senators are siding with smith but pain gets em to try to wear down smith
smith uses a filibuster
as long as he don't stop talking or sit down or leave the chamber, he can hold the floor
if I were him I'd talk slow
good thing hes not a fat slob w/o stamina and rotting bones
as in; hes in shape
the headmaster keeps trying to use the media to fight the smth
smith gives an inspiring speech
theres plenty of 30s quips that's fun and timeless
he's offered a chance to call a break but if he does he loses his progress
like me playing high seas havoc on sega and paying it on/off for 44 hours
that white suit wolf furry was a pain in my a55
also the smith's home state isn't getting any of his sh-t spread as the headmaster controls the papers
is this a union thing?
so the sanders spreads the word by hand and private printed papers
nowadays you'd go to twitter but that site is owned by a corrupt commie who censors the real people
the next AM smith is still talking and is reading the constitution slow
the people mobilize but  the headmaster owned media spreads his propaganda
23 hours later, smth is still talking and wearing out
he should have some coke
he gives a meaningful speech but pain brings in evidence of what his state thinks
they bring in newspapers
wait
its telegrams
50 000
smith reads em
kinda
he rummages through em
hes kinda bummed
he sez this is a lost cause but pain once said those ate the only ones worth fighting for
he appeals to pain and decides to fight on
then he keels over
pauin looks worried and leaves
then theres gunfire.
pain tried to eat his gun
he admits hes gone wrong and will out the headmaster
the end
that was good
ooh
h b warner was in this
he played Jesus in King of Kings in the 20s
this movie is good
it otta be on the history channel
its more real than the texas chainsaw massacre remake
for mr smith goes to Washington 2 I'd like for the headmaster to have fought back against pain's betrayal by b0ning his daughter dead and eating her in front of pain(who had his arms/legs sawed off). pain gets metal limbs and tries to fight back against him but his papers smear him and accuse him of being into b0ning dogs. the dog lovers and animal supremacists go after him and he's on the run from them and the headmaster's men. he goes from place to place under cover and using alias's to keep from being seen while icing anyone who tries to wack him.

The Mummy Review

Note; you love my bad typing. admit it
the mummy
this is my review on the mummy(the 30s ver)
it starts with miniatures and a pyramid that sez the title
the music is 30s at its best
it then has an image of a scroll about reviving the dead as with the pagan Egyptian gods
to be fair
I love yugioh so im used to this
and mummies alive
that was a good 90s show
I did a grade school project on ancient egyot basing most of it off that show
then we get some archeologists talking about some cr-p
get to the horror!
get to boris Karloff eating people!
they talk about a mummy who was buried alive
inhotep; the high priest
his coffin had the magic seals to protect the soul on its trip to the next world chipped off
they suggest he was b0ning the virgins
I should point out I never saw anty of the Brendan fraiser mummy movies
they show ep on the history channel for some reason
they just don't care
I'd love it if they showed the yugioh movie from 2004
they find a box that warns of a curse by a pagan god
the scientists dont care
but 1 guy does
they think in the box is a spell that raised a pagan god from the dead after he was chopped up and scattered
like exodia
this movie is a lot like yugioh
esp the 2004 movie; pyramid of light
 and this undead bada55 kills em
so 1 guy opens the box and takes out the scroll
ninja scroll
so outside the guy who warned them sez to hide the box
but the scientist don't care
he's not gonna be in the mummy 2
the box opener reads the scroll and the mummy awakens
good effects on the mummy
it looks real ish
he takes the scroll and leaves w/o being fully seen
the guy who opened the box starts laughing
its joker gas!
the other scientist comes back and is told "he went for a walk" about the mummy
theres a dusty handprint on the desk
they otta challenge him to a duel
and the winner gets to live
10 years later the scientists son is in Egypt and sez the lolling guy bit it
he lolled too much and as locked up
then bit it
then Karloff comes in as an Egyptian saying his kind aint allowed to dig their dead
but foreigners are ok
and he's gonna get em to a great find
imagine if they got yul brynner as the mummy
he was the pharaoh ramses in the 10 commandments
people complained about that
but omar shariff as dr zhivago was ok
later they dig some place
oh and the scientist from b4 who loved that land never wanted to come back
like they don't have monsters in England
the son finds a tomb untouched for 3700 years
3800 now
in this room with no one in it, Karloff looks at the mummy from the tomb
I think its his gf
then we get this white chick talking about how she don't like north Africa
some guys tell Karloff is closing time
but when they realize hes the one who got em this exhibit, they let him stay
the son and this other guy say that the museum in Egypt gets to keep the Egypt treasures cuyz of the agreement with Karloff
makes sense
later Karloff reads a spell and the white chick is entranced
she goes to the museum
on the cab ride shes chanting the spell he chants
this isn't really scary
well
maybe in the 30s
she cant get in the museum as its closed
then blacks out
she's brought back to this place geezer speaks to her in ancient Egypt talk
the night guards spot Karloff in the museum in the dark but he ices em
later the girl is awake and normal
she don't recall what happened
she talks with a guy and its revealed she's part Egyptian
he tells about raiding the tomb
it had toilet things in it
and he had the hots for the mummy girl/priestess in the tomb
then the geezer hears a guard bit it at the princess room in the museum
the guard has no signs o damage on him
and nothing was taken
they find the scroll
oh
turns out the geezer is the dad who was in the 1st part
he walks in on his son and the girl making out
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
the dad talks about how his assistant went nuts and had he translated the scroll so would he
one suggested burning the scroll but they dont
then Karloff comes into the girls room
he wonders if they met b4
but she sez no
but he knows shes egyptian
its like gaydar
you can sense it
the dad and friends come in to find the girl and the karloff
man, not much happens in this movie
they talk about what happened so far so every character is up to speed
the girl goes to rest
the dad talks with the Karloff about the scroll
he has a photo of the mummy as a mummy
the Karloff wants his scroll back
he knows that they cant kill him
he's got super powers
like n'kantu the living mummy from marvel comics
the Karloff sez they gotta give him the scroll or die
he leaves
why not pray?
isn't our God stronger than a black magic user?
when watching the guy bring out the hidden scroll(by watching I a pool of water like with garlic jr)
he kills him with a spell
then the mummy's slave (a mind wiped guy) gets the scroll
later the other scientists come in and think he burned the scroll and it iced him
but 1 guy looks through the ashes
later the guy sez the burned paper wasn't the scroll, but newspaper
he gives the son a charm of a pagan god and sez they must fight him with the gods he offended
also the son is in love with the girl
later the girl goes to the Karloff and he shows her the past in his magic looking pool
so its like in demon lord dante with medusa and ryo utsugi
Karloff and the girl were in love
but she bit it
like with Pegasus in yugioh
he steals the scroll and wants to revive her with it
this is all done in silent style with Karloff narrating
he's interrupted using the black magic and is buried alive
the scroll is put with him
now this movie is good
the slaves who worked on it were iced
then the soldiers who killed em were iced
Karloff sez she's the reincarnation of the princess and hes gonna ice the son for loving her
then he wakes her from her trance
later she returns and makes up some excuse
also the dog she was with bit it
good
dogs s-ck
she doesn't wanna remember what happened and the son comforts her as shes scared
I notice bam stokers Dracula ripped this off
only with more nude scenes and b0ning and cr-p
later she keeps bugging people to let her out
they don't listen cuz they know giving in to her desires would cause more harm than good
like anorexia
turns out shes resisting the karloffs pull and its bad for her
the dr sez to give in to her urges and plans to follow her to the Karloff
later the son takes off his pagan charm and puts it on the girls door
but karloff is watching!
and he starts casting a spell
the son bites it and the girl walks out
imagine if his spell made them explode!
like they swelled up and burst and guts splattered all over!
she returns to the Karloff and wants him
but her soul is in a human body and he wants her in her mummy
also she got her Egyptian memories back and is dressed like a girl in a fantasy game
skimpy bikini
the Karloff burns the mummy of the princess
n they go to a room to have her mummified
she don't want it as it means killing her
she wants to live as a 20th century girl
just wait til the 80s!
neon and leather
she tries to escape but the mind wiped slave stops her
she gives up and consents to him
meanwhile the son is still alive and the dr sez he knows about the karloffs plan to ice and revive her
HOW!?
how did he find that out!?
where was he the whole time?!
they get to the mummy level and she bets her pagan goddess to save her
the Karloff stops the guys who come in but the girl summons a god card and it kills Karloff
the dr sez to the son to call to her to bring her back
the end
that was cool
a lot like a silent film
I hear the guy behind metropolis designs did this
he did really well
this should be on the history channel
although I dont know if those Brendan fraiser films are good
For the mummy 2 I'd like for the girl to have been stuck in her ancient Egyptian self form and e guy has to fall in love with her again. so its him showing her the modern coolness of the 20th century. later they are able to bring out her modern self and the 2 personalities fuse and have traits of both with memories of both. oh and she has magic powers from her memories as a priestess and fights  as a super hero at times.