1968 Tunnel Rats Review

Note: I spell Name

1968 Tunnel Rats

This is my revirw on 1968 Tunnel Rats from the distant fiture year of 2008(20 years before Transformers Zone)

Its directed by Uwe Boll wo did classics like House of the Dead/Alone in the Dark/BloodRayne/Postal/Far Cry

It stars Michael Pare from 1995 Village of the D=mned/The Virgin Suicides/BloodRayne/Postal/Cold Case, openly black Nate Parker from Cold Case/the remake in name only of The Birth of a Nation which wasn't as good as the real one. Brandon Fobbs from The Devil's Tomb, Wilson Bethel from JAG/Cold Case/2015 Bates Motel

its made w/o a script and was mostly improvsed

after a logo we see a maruta in a dark tunel holdingfire as credits go by

then the music for in the year 2525 like cleopatra 2525 as credits and a chopper in nam goes by

then an American goes in a tunnel and sez its clear then a maruta shanked him with a bamboo and rats eat him

so these are the tunnel rats

more credits as  a chopper of guys comes in then finally title

choppers drop new people and carry out the body bags

the new meat comes in and settles up and 1 reads the book of Joshua how The Creator ordered everyone iced after the battle, which in there was as they were of fallen angel blood

like General Jack Pershing capping those guys and spilling unclean animal blood and guts on the  bodies then sending a witness he let live spread the word

he then strings up a maruta for wasting 5 of his men

some say "what of due process" well thats an American thing and nam aint American, its more soviet

a new guy sez "dDaTz MuRdEr" as he don't get its war and people die if they are killed but crys like a sissy

oh and when the marura was thrown from the tree, its neck snapped and blood gushed out

"since when do people bleed in war?! I didn't expect this" sez Man who never saw Uwe Boll

1 guy is openly jewish and his om is sick and makes sabbat dinner but seems like howard in big bang autism

later in the jungle is a rumble of the high rank guy beating on the whiner who sez "dAtZ mUrDeR" in a boxing match and sez the viet kong will ice him for being there

the guys play 3 card monty for smokes and an openly black guy swindles a nerdy guy and they read Bible Quotes as if you have Faith you'll be saved

1 guy gets triggered and nearly fight him as both are openly black

1 black guy talks with a guy about burgers stands being an American Dream in soviet califonia and he wants to be his own boss

the White guy sez he wants a girl and cr-p and he's here but the maruta here have their ream and will ice em to get it

at night the card victim is taught to smoke by a black guy and coughs and sez his mom would kill him if she sa him doing it

1 guy sez the maruta can tell what brand you smoke in the tunnles and card victim tells how he and his sister talked at night after sneaking out to not b0ne

he misses his fam and when black guy is asked of his fam he gets triggerd

1 other blck guy does this ritual where he kissed at the moon and his woman gets it somehow, i guess it rebounds like he genki dama on vegeta in dbz

then its day and a guy has an uncle who bit it in the tunnels that go for miles

they go in the jungle and patrol and go to a tunnel they found yesterday but didn't wanna clear at night

they open a small lit that looks like a human wont fi in but maybe a cat or midget

somehow 1 gets in and gets f' so another brings him out

he got shot in the gut andwe getta ath scene with the swelling music like team America an the blasting vomit

they have a guy throw a grenade and gets out as it blows instead of sending ave aftr wave of their own men to use up all the traps

they put on gas masks and use c s gas and go in then bring out soem viet kong like doney kong or martin Luthor ong

why not ust use a surgical mask to protect yo from gas? it works for the maruta virus, right???

1 guy gots in and finds a tripwire so he cuts it with his blade aninds its on a grenade pin

he gets the grenade angoes on to find a shaft going up and not in the anus and a sealed area above

thinking theres nothing there hes gonna leave but below em is a bpac of maruta planning an attck

1 guy goes up and a maruta chick skwewers his neck with a bamboo

the olde bamboo, the olde bamboo

don't worry, he's gonna be ok, he ust need some rest, i can see his paracuhutes, it missed the vitals, he's in the next dimension

she goes bac in the bunker an pukes a cleans the Amercian Red Blood off her soviet commie pinko hands and theres a kid helping her there

the force come across the skewered chum an d wanan leave

the other guy in th tunnel survived the grenade i misses and was berried in the sand

the mruta chick helps a bearde maruta bury an American an brings him rice in a box

the crew returns and tellsthe guy got iced and the other is missing and some go back while others stay and worry the maruta will get em

2 guys go in the tinnel and the radio f'd out

the tunnel split in 2 and they go on a path but the floor trap goes out an the guy behindem falls in and gets shanked o spkes like Mega Man

then a viet kong shreds a guy with machinegun

on the surface the maruta attack and the Americans and africanized Americans fight then go in the tunnel

who would win? The viet kong? Or Imperial Japan? Cuz deadliet Warror sed the WW2 Germans woul beat the kong, and if you believe what the official story claims, the Japanese wee sai to be pretty brutal, but that like taking what you now of George Washington from the brits

in the tunels guy finds a rotted corpse and wigs out

the base is attackd by marta who shed em and get head shots

2 gys meet in a tunnel and fire but see they Amricans and twam up

the openy black guy who was grenaded is f'd and fears dying in the sh-t hole in a commie countrys a55

the viet kong girlis luring n the tnnl andblow out her liht to go ninja and not commando and stabs up a guy but he granba her hand with the blade in his gut

This guy ahead of him sez "put yo head down" so he can getta shor but he dont then utes it

ha he shot trouh the head he'd ice em both like violence jack

like if a car accident has a fatally wounded kid an a living mom, you use the jaws of life to cut through the kid

like THEY wanna do to pregnant womwn who migh get it by ending the kid in em to save the mom

same thing

1 guy in the tunnel had enuff and stops for a smoke aying he aint going anywhere

above em the battle contines with maruta vs Americans

the openly black guy who got mad at he Bible is saying after bein shot "I believe"

1 matruta attacs an Ameican and he drowns him as Americans are bigg er and stronger like sasquatch vs gorillas

1 viet kong shanks up a guy o the ground in the ogans oer and over til another pulls hm odf saying he dead

me: he's not dead til i say he is!!(take a bite)

so 1 guy in the tunnel caps a ong then the beardo maruta coms for him and cts hi gun arm as is gun jamms

he overpowers the small thin marta an wates it wit his own knife

he sughles o get oer the body in the way and migh have to eat his way out

at a base 1 wounded guy pulla a renae an put it in a box then blows himself and the tech to h e double France

in the tunnel the guy cuts up the body with the ifebut isn't having a good time

man this chopping scene hgoes on for a while

eventually he gets through the body

so the last black guy goes in an underwater rea and used a flashlight to see as he somehow nows how to swim

on the other side is a maruta who pulls a gun and fires but he throw a grenade and goes under water and bows him out

h goes up andthe guy's mutilated an e dont shootbut shows him the way ti go before going back to h e double nam

1 man in the tunnels and finds a wood wall he ifes til it pops and water come oyt

the way out is bloked by a fnce n the lighr goes out, implyin he got it

last black guy gts out the tunne andhas a bullet hole in his terso's a55

the water trap guy downed andwe se a guy i think the jewish one or not returning to base an everyones dead

black man returns and they are together

the chopper guy i think comes across the maruta chick who wigging out and mhas kid maruta with her

he sez he want to leave and wont hurt her kids

then the Amercan planes drop i think napalm mines an blow the area so se sends her kids out but bickers wih him cu shes a gaijin

the tunnel f's out and they gotta dig their way out but had he iced her and those little c=ck suckers he'd be free now

this digging scene goes on fo a whilewith the Ameivan usoing a shvl and the gain using hands

like how the cave man made the wheel an the red man never figured it out

the music swells like team america' fire hose vomit scene and she gives up

then they lay there waiting to die

the end

and the credits have a song like in a Disney movie

that was pretty good

dark, heavy but meaningful

i kinda expected a member of each side to meet and get along

its got nice effects but a little cheap

good filming and acting

the music was nice and the gore is pretty cool

it shows how awful nam was and the real fear of being in those holes in the earths a55 with maruta trying to ice ja

its got long scenes that eat time but the camera work was good

overall i liked it and it didn't make America look evil like most nam films do

One of Uwe Bolls better films, but Postal made me laugh more and House of the dead is cooler

but its legitimately good an well made

Glad I saw this

There was also a game of it I never played thats a sequel

and if there's tunnels like that in nam, wat other things might there be in the earth?

For 1968 Tunnel Rats 2 I wantthe 2 in the tunnel that caved in to be saved by an underground race of viet nam sasquatch that were sighte around there and are used for experiments to equip them with weapons t make em soldiers, but they brea out and fight their way through the hollow earth city and take on high tech bio cyber weapons of animals cyberized and gotta beat em and the sasquatch kong to ecape. Its also a 16 bit Mtroidvania on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar an GBA with switching between the 2 characters to get through different things.