Sunday, August 19, 2018

Graveyard Shift Review

note; I never read tis book or saw this film. so to make up for t imma spell cr-p
graveyard shift
this is my review on gradvate shirt from 1990
its by steven king who my cool 90s aunt likes books of in da 90s
btw im watching it on fox 29 at 2 am so its censored
it starts with guys working in a cotton factory
its fullscreen
get the aids black bars
1 guy punches a thermometer and talks to a rat
then theres rats everywhere lined up 
just get some footlong centipedes
they'll eat da rats
he drops a big a55 rat in the machine to get chopped up
da rats don't listen to him telling em to go so he drops another in
even if rats knew english, they wouldn't fight for a friend
then something unseen pushes him in da machine
then opening credits very similar to pet semetary
brad douriff is in this
then brad tries exterminating da rats with some kind of water hose system
he flushes em into da river
then a guy (I think main guy)comes into a bar and guys make comments
he looks like james dean
later a cop comes by da factory
main guy is in there
deeper in the factory cop and safety guy say the place is dangerous
but cop bribes safety guy
im not sure hes a cop
main guy looks a bit like kevin Costner
he meets not cop whos really da boss
main guy is looking for a new start
he gets 4 weeks union free work at the cotton picker
in da graveyard shift
then brad comes in and sprays a rat with liquid aids
at night he works loading cotton in da machine
but fat a55 rats come out
he picks em off with diet pepsi cans in a slingshot
brad is suddenly there and they chat
the place is infested and brad fought rats for 20 years
also he carries a firearm
he goes on a monologue about viet nam or something
he plays crazy well
later 1 over da top guy jokes around and boss comes in and sets him straight
then boss flirts with da 1 chick there
offering her a promotion
I assume in exchange for a b0ning
oh and main guy hears it from across da room with loud machines between em
she don't consent
over da top guy goes in the greasy grimy gooey insides of da plant and something gets him
what is this? alien?!
the next day or w/e people say the guy left
at da bar da workers ask if main guy likes chicks
he sez yes
if he sed no they might b0ne him
then they give him food with I think a dead rat on it
what is this? whatever happened to baby jane?!?
later only chick gives main guy a ride and boss sees
also secretary is b0ning the boss in private and tries feeling boss outside but he don't consent
chick flirts with main guy and gives him tips
later chick gets assigned clean up duty and busts up boss's car with an axe
so he roughs her up
she sez she knows things and he nearly slugs her
but main guy stops him
later main guy in in the basement and rats come
he gets his sling and pepsi can ready but theyre gone
he hears something and fires but its boss
boss sez next week its lay off week and ge offers main guy a special job 4 double pay
he consents
at da bar main guy and chick talk
they go to his place and chick sez boss tried to b0ne her for money
btw shes in a red belly showing tank top and blue jeans
sounds like a 90s video game character
they have a moment and hug
man, we're an hour in
dat didn't feel long
at night secretary sneaks in and goes through bosses stuff
she finds papers but then walks around in da dark
then falls down stairs, breaks, and da rats and a monster get her
later the night clean up crew or w/e is screwing around and boss comes in and settles em
later they spray rats with water
just get some big a55 snapping turtles to eat em
or snakes
btw the over the top guy is back
he finds a wood thing and reaches in
but as he opens it more, finds its full of rats
so they have it blasted with water
the hose guy nearly kills the black guy with da hose
when black guy complains hose guy blasts his feet
over da top guy tells boss this is f'd but no one backs him up
so he gets canned
if they stood with him, they'd be fired too
then boss would get some 3rd world guys to do it cr-ppily
good thing its non union
later brad comes back and has his rat hunting dog
and down river mills whine about brad dumping rats in da river
but the owner of the mill was too cheap to pay for dumping
boss black males brad to go to this graveyard and do something
but brads dog gets it when he goes in a tunnel
was the river thing part of the plan to send brad here?
then brad gets crushed by a box in this muddy crypt
don't worry. hes gonna be back after getting melted down and remolded
the next night main guy and chick playfully go to work and boss watches and follows
then beats up a punching bag
main guy and chick are waiting for something at work in the cesspool
then breaks over and back to work
main guy finds a trap door
he sez it could be with rats breed
a sewer of rat spurm
boss sends main guy in but main guy gets boss to go with him
in case of finding treasure he don't wanna be accused of jackin it
the whole team goes down and chick busts her leg somehow
hose guy gets spiderwebs on his face
then picks up a human bone, freaks out, runs upstaris, stairs bust, he falls through floor, and into a water pool
then a big a55 rat monster gets him
btw his name was brogan
like Stephan brogan from degrassi (the actor for snake)
they run and regroup and boss goes blackface with dirt on a wine bottle
chick runs (wasn't her leg f;d?) and finds a way out in the water
its da crypt brad bit it
man they got this whole phantom of the opera complex under the factory
the other guts go up this shaft and black guy finds a way through
but something in it eats his arm
2 left
the last guy besides boss falls through wood and boss saves him
then he freaks out so boss ditches him
main guy and chick find a way they might get out
last guy turns on a lighter and this big f'd monster is right there and gets him
boss throws a Molotov cocktail ad runs
but falls into a bone pit
no not the playboy mansion
main guy and chick find the bone pit and she sometimes limps and others dont
its in a big cave the size of a building
they find boss and for no reason he tries killing em
main guy beats him with a jawbone
what is he? Samson?! (read the bible)
the fight goes on and boss pulls a knife
he shanks chick and tries to get out
why'd he try to ice em?!
they could've beat it together
oh and I think the chick bites it
boss finds da monster and its a huge slimy bat monster
he goes at it with a knife they fight offscreen
main guy sees it and runs
if this were aliens, they'd nuke da place
he gets back to the factory but big a55 rat bat follows
it gets its tail in the machine and main guy shoots the on button with a diet pepsi can
it gets ground up as da rats watch
was that their king?
what is this? stravinsky and the mysterious house?!
also looks like drinking pop saved this guy's life
so he punches a time card and leaves
then music to lines from the film
ooh, frank welker did voice effects
he was megatron in 80s transformers
hair stylist; candy walker
sounds like a p0rn0 name
wtf this had help from japan
the end
that was pretty good
not exactly like pet semetary
but it had a few echoes
good late 80s early 90s feel
sorta like if alien 3 was good
I liked it
for the graveyard shift 2 I want it to be a decade later and the rat bats have arosen and taken over the town. they were shocked their homie was iced for doing nothing wrong and that the humans should've let the last movie rat bat eat them. the city is shut down and people live in fear as if they go out at the wrong time they could be iced. so the manly men have enough of this and launch counter attacks against the rat bats whine in disguise. and try to gradually take out all the rat bats one at a time. its also an up to 4 player beat em up on sega genesis and super Nintendo and Atari jaguar with you playing as guys in various outfits and fight through areas clearing out these rat monsters and often using power tools to take em out.

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