Sunday, August 26, 2018

Harriet The Spy Review

note; the book spells better than my cr-ppy a55 spellingz
harriret thre spy
this is my revirew on harriet the spy (90s ver)
its based on a book I never read
also this has a millennium remake about blog wars
but computers are for sodomingoes
imma 90s guy
IBM computers and a trackball you roll by hand for da mouse
I saw this movie b4 but it was years ago
ooh its fullscreen
no black bars
so after credits that go on for like 5 minutes, we see this girl is spying on people and writing it down what she sees
often making comments on it
she wants to be a writer so she writes what she sees
a guy swipes as wallet but plows into a food thing
later she wants to be blood buddies with her black and white friends
but instead of risking aids they draw a pagan god image o their feet and press it together
this rich girl comes by and they hate her for some reason
these girly movies always have a rich popular chick the main loser hero hates
why canty we have the cool kid as the hero beating up the losers?
after making comments on everyone in the class as narration, rich and harriet are nominated for class prez
I think rich girl won
take that u loser!
u fail!
later harriet spys on a geezer with a buncha cats
later its the last day of summer and harriet and her homies go to this garden with some woman
the garden has all this cr-p made of trash
later she is with the woman getting put to bed and its revealed her rents are out on a work thing or w/e and woman guardians her
later its day and heriet makes a sandwitch of mayo and tomato
later she watches a guy making food in a cr-ppy place
she thinks its a veggie thief
so what?!
maybe hes a hobo and needs it to survive
later the homies and hioet read and mock the school paper rich girl wrote
then its home and woman has her bf (veggie thief) over 4 a date
at dinner they have a staring contest and Harriot makes a55 comments on him
he used to be rich but not happy so he started over and his wife ditched him
then Harriot and veggie guy go out and have g rated fun all night
watching a greta garbo film
when they get back, harriots rents r home and get p-ssed at them being out late and fire her
guardian sez its a good idea and consents
harriet is sent upstairs but sneaks down to spy on guardian saying Harriot can take care of herself now
guardian sees Harriot and they say the walrus and carpenter poem together
later b4 girdian goes Harriot asks if shes gonna fimd a kid to love more than her
guardian comforts her and sez she'd buy harriots 1st book in da future
they have  moment and its kinda knice
then drives off in a cab as Harriot runs after her
later in school they watch a 50s film about teens developing
but Harriot is bummed w/o the guardian
its shown in a way that makes me think shes gonna snap and start wacking people
later Harriot spys on her Chinese homie who's fam is p-ssed at him for crashing a truck
that's racist
also her white friend is buying cr-p from them and don't have enough cash
so Harriot comes in and gives him a doller
later theres gonna be some school class event
im not sure
im watching Yugioh abridged where yugi and kaiba fight dartz
so harriots black homie is making some chemical thing
she uses her large moms large bra to make mold
and it blows
wtf the black homie is a girl?!
I thought it was a guy!
later at her white homies lace and his dad is having viet nam writing issues
harrriot takes a snappie of white homie in a skirt cleaning
what is he? james from pokemon?
later Harriot spys hard on some big home
she sneaks in (breaking and entering!!!) when the door almost closesand a little dog barks at her
so she stomps it dead
she hides in a dumbwaiter
then wears gloves to pull a rope to go up
this geezer chick played by ertha kitt from 60s batman hears her and maid finds her
she is then vivisected for experiments to keep kitt young
shes just thrown out on her a55
later the trio of homies are laughing at the paper for having different views than them
then they play in da park
such 90s kids being 90s
the fashion and feel
in the tag game Harriot drops her spy books and rich girl gets em
she reads harriots g rated mean comments about everyone
even her homies and people who did her no wrong
this hurts the feeling of the kids she bashed
one kid she said shed hand herself if she was him
also she mocks her white homie's poorness
this is like when a celeb makes a bunch of nude photos and they get leaked
maybe if she didn't make all that evidence then she wouldn't be f'd by it
later harroit is bummed her cruel thoughts toward her peers got exposed
its like if I make a bunch of holocost denial vids then set em to private. but youtube makes em public
then acted like imma victim when everyone hates me over it
at school she's shunned by those she wronged
the kids pass around a note saying Harriot smells
harroit reads it and cleans ou her pits and feet in the school toilet sink
she plans to be a big celeb with her b--chy writing
well, now we got tmz so theres a future for her gossip and b--chyness
later Harriot tells rich gurl she's gonna get her
but rich gurl responds she and her classmates are goona f her up cuz they have a plan
holy cr-p we're like over half way in
that didn't feel like much
theye forme a spye catching clube
why is Harriot the main character?
is anything she's the bad guy
its like a civil war movie with the union as the heroes
the kids chase her banging on pots tied to em while on rollerblades
is this mad max?
she asks a cop for help an her rents bust her a55 over it
they say her spy cr-p is unhealthy
and want her to take a break from writing
she b-ches about her rents having partys and martinis
they get her notebook but she sez she'd just get another one
that's smart
tell them ur plan
reminds me of how the brits let leslie howard get gunned down in a plane during the war
they could've saved him but didn't want the axis to know they broke their code
so he got horribly killed
and he was a supported of England
too bad we didn't side with zee Kaiser in 14
at school she's frisked by the teacher to see if shes got a notebook
later in art class she gets paint spilled on her by rich fgirls homie
the class cleans her and I think its made to be a g rated version of her bring gang b0ned
she slaps rich girl and runs home to take a bath while having viet nam flashbacks
but fully clothed
she also scrubs her tattoo off
and rips up her notebooks
like.. in SE7EN?!!!?!?!?
is this how that guy started?!
does harriot get her womb turned inside out and become kevin spacy?!
later in class she carves the names of those who she thinks wronged her in the desk
good f--k this IS se7en!!
she then gets revenge on the kids she thinks wronged her one by one
then carves lines through their names in her school property desk
even though Harriot started it by writing mean things about the kids
its like if I try to beat a guy dead, but the guy shoots me, and I say imma victim
then she says infront of everyone that rich girls dad hasn't seen her in years and doesn't love her
holy f--k this Harriot is a real b--ch!!
that's the kid of thing that makes people attempt suicide
hope some child mo lester gets Harriot
and the only one who can save her is the rich girl
who just lets her be taken away to be b0ned dead forever
then she photocopys a bunch of pictures of her white homie in a dress and posts em all over the school
this chick is scum
she hurt him 1st
then he left cuz she was a b--ch
then she humiliates him
at home the kids she hurt's rents call their rents and hariots rents confront her
then argue with eachother
then Harriot freaks out
so they send her to a shrink
he plays kids games with her and writes notes
she whines about her notebook being taken and he gives her one
but gets it back
afterward her dad sez some bullsh-t about her being fine
later mom gives her back the notebook and sez she made a mistake over it
they should give her more beatings
beat the evil out
get da whip
later she has that 90s fortune teller paper things and plays with dad
he sez to turn around and behind her is a big naked guy who whips out his 29 inch...
jk its guardian
she tells haiort to sAy sorry and lie
then sez how good lies can help
later white homies dad gets a book deal or w/e and gets 10 000 $$
and hariot is watching
and white homeis finds her
he sez she's not his friend and shuts da door
you never know what she's gonna turn on you next
she broke ur trust
send her to h-ll!!
later the black homie leaves the gang that torments Harriot
in class Harriot sez class prez being editor for class paper is not good
rich girl don't like Harriot taking her job
esp after nearly driving her to suicide
but the kid Harriot sed shed suicide if she was him, nominates Harriot for 2nd editer
then da whole class votes for Harriot to be editor
it trys to make this look positive
p-ss everyone off
get revenge on them for not liking you after it
then win in the end
then she sez things aint always as they seem
and sees da alleged veggie theif had consent
and everyone leaves the spy hunters
btw this is all Harriot writing the paper
then writes good cr-p about all the people she p-ssed off with cruel cr-p b4
then sez sorry for all the mean cr-p
then retattoo presses her foot with white homie
the end
that was actually a good film
I liked it
but Harriot is a little b--ch
then again
weren't we all a55 holes as kids?
I was
and in grade 8 there were like 8 guys I just wanted to go to h-ll
but its got dat 90s charm and heart
I enjoyed it
plus in the uncut version they say SH-T
not on tv where I watched it on fox 29
for harriet the spy 2 I want it to be high school and she writes an article critical of someone who accidentally p-ssed her off. the article is pretty mean and the person she went after cant take it and attempts suicide. the brother of the girl she drove to suicide cant handle it and snaps and decides to take Harriot down before she ruins another life and begins hunting her down with a weed wacker to mutilate her dead. along the way he chops up anyone who gets in his way with the weed wacker and takes a big bite outta them on the a55 as he works his way up to harroit. its also an 8 bit Gameboy, game gear and Atari lynx platform game where you are the brother and go from level to level taking out people try8ing to stop you. also you regain health from wounds by eating the fallen

No comments:

Post a Comment