Harriet The Spy Review

note; the book spells better than my cr-ppy a55 spellingz

harriret thre spy

this is my revirew on harriet the spy (90s ver)

its based on a book I never read

also this has a millennium remake about blog wars

but computers are for sodomingoes

imma 90s guy

IBM computers and a trackball you roll by hand for da mouse

I saw this movie b4 but it was years ago

ooh its fullscreen

no black bars

so after credits that go on for like 5 minutes, we see this girl is spying on people and writing it down what she sees

often making comments on it

she wants to be a writer so she writes what she sees

a guy swipes as wallet but plows into a food thing

later she wants to be blood buddies with her black and white friends

but instead of risking aids they draw a pagan god image o their feet and press it together

this rich girl comes by and they hate her for some reason

these girly movies always have a rich popular chick the main loser hero hates

why canty we have the cool kid as the hero beating up the losers?

after making comments on everyone in the class as narration, rich and harriet are nominated for class prez

I think rich girl won

good

take that u loser!

0/10!

u fail!

later harriet spys on a geezer with a buncha cats

later its the last day of summer and harriet and her homies go to this garden with some woman

the garden has all this cr-p made of trash

later she is with the woman getting put to bed and its revealed her rents are out on a work thing or w/e and woman guardians her

later its day and heriet makes a sandwitch of mayo and tomato

later she watches a guy making food in a cr-ppy place

she thinks its a veggie thief

so what?!

maybe hes a hobo and needs it to survive

later the homies and hioet read and mock the school paper rich girl wrote

then its home and woman has her bf (veggie thief) over 4 a date

at dinner they have a staring contest and Harriot makes a55 comments on him

he used to be rich but not happy so he started over and his wife ditched him

then Harriot and veggie guy go out and have g rated fun all night

watching a greta garbo film

when they get back, harriots rents r home and get p-ssed at them being out late and fire her

guardian sez its a good idea and consents

harriet is sent upstairs but sneaks down to spy on guardian saying Harriot can take care of herself now

guardian sees Harriot and they say the walrus and carpenter poem together

later b4 girdian goes Harriot asks if shes gonna fimd a kid to love more than her

guardian comforts her and sez she'd buy harriots 1st book in da future

they have  moment and its kinda knice

then drives off in a cab as Harriot runs after her

later in school they watch a 50s film about teens developing

but Harriot is bummed w/o the guardian

its shown in a way that makes me think shes gonna snap and start wacking people

later Harriot spys on her Chinese homie who's fam is p-ssed at him for crashing a truck

that's racist

also her white friend is buying cr-p from them and don't have enough cash

so Harriot comes in and gives him a doller

later theres gonna be some school class event

im not sure

im watching Yugioh abridged where yugi and kaiba fight dartz

so harriots black homie is making some chemical thing

she uses her large moms large bra to make mold

and it blows

wtf the black homie is a girl?!

I thought it was a guy!

later at her white homies lace and his dad is having viet nam writing issues

harrriot takes a snappie of white homie in a skirt cleaning

what is he? james from pokemon?

later Harriot spys hard on some big home

she sneaks in (breaking and entering!!!) when the door almost closesand a little dog barks at her

so she stomps it dead

jk

she hides in a dumbwaiter

then wears gloves to pull a rope to go up

this geezer chick played by ertha kitt from 60s batman hears her and maid finds her

she is then vivisected for experiments to keep kitt young

jk

shes just thrown out on her a55

later the trio of homies are laughing at the paper for having different views than them

then they play in da park

such 90s kids being 90s

the fashion and feel

in the tag game Harriot drops her spy books and rich girl gets em

she reads harriots g rated mean comments about everyone

even her homies and people who did her no wrong

this hurts the feeling of the kids she bashed

one kid she said shed hand herself if she was him

also she mocks her white homie's poorness

this is like when a celeb makes a bunch of nude photos and they get leaked

maybe if she didn't make all that evidence then she wouldn't be f'd by it

later harroit is bummed her cruel thoughts toward her peers got exposed

its like if I make a bunch of holocost denial vids then set em to private. but youtube makes em public

then acted like imma victim when everyone hates me over it

at school she's shunned by those she wronged

the kids pass around a note saying Harriot smells

harroit reads it and cleans ou her pits and feet in the school toilet sink

she plans to be a big celeb with her b--chy writing

well, now we got tmz so theres a future for her gossip and b--chyness

later Harriot tells rich gurl she's gonna get her

but rich gurl responds she and her classmates are goona f her up cuz they have a plan

holy cr-p we're like over half way in

that didn't feel like much

theye forme a spye catching clube

why is Harriot the main character?

is anything she's the bad guy

its like a civil war movie with the union as the heroes

the kids chase her banging on pots tied to em while on rollerblades

is this mad max?

she asks a cop for help an her rents bust her a55 over it

they say her spy cr-p is unhealthy

and want her to take a break from writing

she b-ches about her rents having partys and martinis

they get her notebook but she sez she'd just get another one

that's smart

tell them ur plan

reminds me of how the brits let leslie howard get gunned down in a plane during the war

they could've saved him but didn't want the axis to know they broke their code

so he got horribly killed

and he was a supported of England

too bad we didn't side with zee Kaiser in 14

at school she's frisked by the teacher to see if shes got a notebook

later in art class she gets paint spilled on her by rich fgirls homie

the class cleans her and I think its made to be a g rated version of her bring gang b0ned

she slaps rich girl and runs home to take a bath while having viet nam flashbacks

but fully clothed

she also scrubs her tattoo off

and rips up her notebooks

wait

notebooks?!

like.. in SE7EN?!!!?!?!?

is this how that guy started?!

does harriot get her womb turned inside out and become kevin spacy?!

later in class she carves the names of those who she thinks wronged her in the desk

good f--k this IS se7en!!

she then gets revenge on the kids she thinks wronged her one by one

then carves lines through their names in her school property desk

even though Harriot started it by writing mean things about the kids

its like if I try to beat a guy dead, but the guy shoots me, and I say imma victim

then she says infront of everyone that rich girls dad hasn't seen her in years and doesn't love her

holy f--k this Harriot is a real b--ch!!

that's the kid of thing that makes people attempt suicide

hope some child mo lester gets Harriot

and the only one who can save her is the rich girl

who just lets her be taken away to be b0ned dead forever

then she photocopys a bunch of pictures of her white homie in a dress and posts em all over the school

this chick is scum

she hurt him 1st

then he left cuz she was a b--ch

then she humiliates him

at home the kids she hurt's rents call their rents and hariots rents confront her

then argue with eachother

then Harriot freaks out

so they send her to a shrink

he plays kids games with her and writes notes

she whines about her notebook being taken and he gives her one

but gets it back

afterward her dad sez some bullsh-t about her being fine

later mom gives her back the notebook and sez she made a mistake over it

they should give her more beatings

beat the evil out

get da whip

later she has that 90s fortune teller paper things and plays with dad

he sez to turn around and behind her is a big naked guy who whips out his 29 inch...

jk its guardian

she tells haiort to sAy sorry and lie

then sez how good lies can help

later white homies dad gets a book deal or w/e and gets 10 000 $$

and hariot is watching

and white homeis finds her

he sez she's not his friend and shuts da door

good!!

you never know what she's gonna turn on you next

she broke ur trust

send her to h-ll!!

later the black homie leaves the gang that torments Harriot

in class Harriot sez class prez being editor for class paper is not good

rich girl don't like Harriot taking her job

esp after nearly driving her to suicide

but the kid Harriot sed shed suicide if she was him, nominates Harriot for 2nd editer

then da whole class votes for Harriot to be editor

it trys to make this look positive

yeah

p-ss everyone off

get revenge on them for not liking you after it

then win in the end

then she sez things aint always as they seem

and sees da alleged veggie theif had consent

and everyone leaves the spy hunters

btw this is all Harriot writing the paper

then writes good cr-p about all the people she p-ssed off with cruel cr-p b4

then sez sorry for all the mean cr-p

then retattoo presses her foot with white homie

the end

that was actually a good film

I liked it

but Harriot is a little b--ch

then again

weren't we all a55 holes as kids?

I was

and in grade 8 there were like 8 guys I just wanted to go to h-ll

but its got dat 90s charm and heart

I enjoyed it

plus in the uncut version they say SH-T

not on tv where I watched it on fox 29

for harriet the spy 2 I want it to be high school and she writes an article critical of someone who accidentally p-ssed her off. the article is pretty mean and the person she went after cant take it and attempts suicide. the brother of the girl she drove to suicide cant handle it and snaps and decides to take Harriot down before she ruins another life and begins hunting her down with a weed wacker to mutilate her dead. along the way he chops up anyone who gets in his way with the weed wacker and takes a big bite outta them on the a55 as he works his way up to harroit. its also an 8 bit Gameboy, game gear and Atari lynx platform game where you are the brother and go from level to level taking out people try8ing to stop you. also you regain health from wounds by eating the fallen