Sunday, September 30, 2018

Amelia Review

note; I tried reviewing this b4. rthis is my 2nd try. so theres ttuypes
this is my review on amelia from 2009(199 19)
its got hiollery swank and Richard gere
its about amelias earhart and her life story
I was almost done reviewing this a while ago but accidentally hot permanent delete on the menu bar in rogers yahoo email and lost it
what kind of c-ck sucker puts that on the main menu in the open?!
its like you mak4e a building with a self destruct button next to the elevator
freeekjin dumba55!
if my kid did that i'd beat him til he pooped his guts out
so it starts with ameia ready to go across da ocean in an aeroplane
although im told I was in a plane as a baby, I have no memory of it
flying freaks my a55 out
f ur in a train or car and it f's out, u can walk
in a boat, maybe u can swim
but a plane?
nyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuu bloosh!
ur going straight to H E Double England!
ooh ewen mcgreggor is in this
and mia w-polish name from tim burtons alice in wonderland
hen we get a flasback of kid amelia seeing a wood plane flying and giving her da urge to fly
then her flying
I should note this is in like the 20s
in soviet Canada, women weren't considered persons until after sound movies started
so amelia meets gere and sez she wants to fly the atlantic ocean
3 women bit it trying
2 survived
lucky number 06
so theres a rich somebody who pays for this thing as capitalism makes things happen
also shes gonna have a male co pilot who does all da work
oh and amelia is gonna sell her story of being in command to the sponsor
hilery swank as amelia looks like mark from classic game room in some scenes
then we see amelia flying over Africa looking at the wild monsters that live there
the amerlia sees the plane the sponsor is letting her use
but b--ches about how the owner has water landers to save the plane if it goes down
man, Richard gere looks sorta like my uncle tony
so amelia and co piot try to fly but the plane cant make it off
they scrub the mission and amerlia chex da skematics on da plane
da next day she gets the men up and plans to dump fuel and ride a tailwind to get to soviet Ireland
then gives a speech to co pilot that her dad was a drunk and co pilot should sober up and fly it or she will
but the owner didn't consent to amemoia flying it
wtf da plane is called "friendship"
is this mr rogers or tea/anzu from Yugioh?
so they take off and go through a dark clouds like in james and the giant peach
and they runnin outta fuel
theres turbulence and 1 guy nearly falls outta da plane
this is why I don't use planes
then the fuel runs out
see you in h-ll guys
but they make it to lad and land in da water
and they went past Ireland and made it to wales
at home amelia gets a parade with yankee flags
no confederate ones despite them still having survivors from the war
gere hid smokes under the seat so he could say "the only smokes on the plane were this brand" and get paid by da brand
but amelua don't smoke
later gere smooches amelia foe good luck
later she talks to teens about her experiances in da plane
nuke the sky
we should only have so much space up
later she dances with gere
in the real version they were b0ning
she took off her fur coat and is in a suit
and they're smooching
later this younger chick wants to take ameroia pace as the best female pilot
and asks gere for it
later at a party she meets gene vidal
too bad its not videl from dbz
gene is a flying teacher at west point
is this after the war?
they otta get the Kaiser back
later gere asks amelia to marry her
but she don't wanna
she tells a story of her 7th b day gift from dad being a globe
and she wanted to travel da world
then cut back to amelia flying over Africa
look for the Mokele-mbembe!!
shes flying da world
what is this? sonic unleashed?!
and she throws a scarf out the plane
also; remember that movie; the gods must be crazy?
a coke bottle f'd up a tribe
she makes gere agree to dump him in a year if they aint happy by then
what is this? a reality show?!
maybe a f'd up Disney movie
so they marry but change the words and don't wanna obey each other or say it'll last
that kinda f;d
that's not what marriage is about
later amelia is at this flying thing for chix
but some crash up
this is like bad speed racer
so amelia wins the womens grand pree(not prix! it don't rhyme with licks! its pree! like free!)
later gere sez its been 5 years since Lindbergh and no one made it solo
but amwlia would rather bite it than not do it
sounds sane
so she flies through a storm alone by newfoundland and has viet nam flashbacks to being a kid
then her windshield freezes over and she goes down
but recovers and makes it to land
but its not quite soviet france
its soviet Ireland
but both are the bad guys!
then her career takes off and she becomes a celeb
and promotes cr-p
shes doing it to make cash to fund her flying
sounds right
she works hard 4 her money
so hard cutey honey
she works hard for her money and shes turn ing people white (I don't know the words)
oh and gene has a son named gore
its kid gore vidal who wrote later Myra Breckinridge
she goes out with gene and feels for the poors struggling in the democrats wreckage of America in the 30s under f dr
later at a dinner thing she toasts the girl who wants to surpass her as shes 15 and the youngest to fly solo
and chats with f dr's woman about gene
an takes f dr's woman to fly at night
and lets her control it
did this actually happen?
or is this like in Ed Wood where he met Orson Welles?
later she tells gere she tried to help f dr's woman get gene work in the aeronautix branch
later at a dace a black chick in a red dress dances and sings in a way too hot for the 30s
at least shes not singing beyonce with cgi and 3d
lookin at u 2010s great Gatsby
she and gene make out in da elevator
later shes living with gene and wallpapered gores room with tiger jngle wallpaper cuz shes got f'd issues
and it gives gore freak outs
also he wants her to marry his dad gene
oh shes still with gere and gene and gore just stop by to b0ne
and gere is not pleased
shes cheeting on him with a gay guys dad?
when did this turn into springer?!
later gere finds a note she wrote with a love poem he never saw b4 and calls her about it
so she breaks up with gene as she wants to fly da world
and gets back with gere
and he got her the funds to try to go around da world
but gene don't want it
theres 1 tiny island for her to land or and if she misses it, she goes to H E Double Canada
so she wants a navigator
later she is told she aint able to refuel in mid flight
so she drives her plane but a wheel f's out and it skids on da runway
so she worries her flyin career might be f'd for some reason
but gere fixes da plane
she goes off on another flight and lands in Africa
I guess those other scenes of here there were from now
her and navigator go off in a storm and later are at a café and talk about what guy she wants to be with
she sez gere
later she radio's gere and he wants her to come home as navigators drinking
but she gets him to let her go on
so amelia dumps most of the cargo and goes off alone
her navigator sez; got room for 180lbs of a55 hole?
me; is it from a whale?
also; a real a55 hole would use metric
wait, I think he goes with her
on the way there her signal gets kinda f'd
you know, in a sea near japan on the opposite side of the planet as the Bermuda triangle, is a place where unexplained things happen
sightings of unusual sea creatures
technology getting f'd
then theres narration of amelia saying dreams are important or something
text sez they searched but never found her
then historical footage of her from around a century ago
they try to give it a positive ending even though most say she bit it hard
the end
that was pretty good
not too much swearing
not too much lust
not really any violence
a good tvpg
sorta like sailor moon
I like historical movies and things based on books and things from the silent era
good credits music
uplifting and sort of like a good din bluth thing
maybe a 90s tv movie
or 80s
this film was decent and doesnt feel long
its over 2 hours with adds but didn't feel it
I liked this
but the critics said it s-cked
they can all get aids
for amelia 2 I want it to be the 90s and she shows up landing in America but finds out she went through a time warp. she spends the next most of the movie seeing how the future happened and how we have high tech things like 80s IBM computers and sega genesis and color movies and tv in color. also is a group of gov guys who want to discover her time travel thing and try to capture her to experiment on her to find the secret. but the time warp gave her powers and if she beats up enough people, her fists absorb ki from em and she gets big and buff like hulk Hogan and can jump and attack better and fire ke punchs that fit without making physical contact. and shes gotta fight them off. also its a 16 bit eat em up on sega genesis and super Nintendo and Atari jaguar and you gotta fight a guy who came from another time leading the guv guys. oh and she meets up with gore and he still wants her to be his mom and shows her movies based on his books like Myra Breckinridge

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