Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Super 8 Review

note; I almost saw this. but didn't. so typoes
super 8
this is my review on super 8
its by j j abrams who did mission impossible, lost, fringe, cloverfield, and other cr-p I never saw
when this was in theatres my fam went to see a movie
but as my dad had a rough week at work we saw bridesmaids as he wanted a comedy
that movie s-cked
I know very little of this film but heard it was good
it starts with a factory having a accident offscreen
days without an accident now 0
some chick bit it
kids gossip about how gory her end was
her kid was making a zombie movie but might not now
then a guy comes to the house and a cop takes him away
04 months later its summer
and da kids are making a new movie
wait, its still da zombie one
theyre making it for a film festival
and want a better story
then the fat kid has dinner with his probably polish fam
and main kid goes home and his dads crying
later they have dinner at a restaurant and dad wants son to do sports cr-p or something this summer
man this film is super widescreen
half the screen is black bars
later at midknight the kids get together to make their movie
this chick drives in but don't want main kid to come as his dads a cop and she don't got a license
but he sez he wont tell and they drive off to film their movie
fata55 changed 1 line with 4 words and main actor cant do it
1 kid has a fireworks obsession
they rehearse the scene and the girl is realy good at acting
then a train comes by and they scramble to film the scene with it
they do it but the cgi train blows and crashes in a big cgi disaster
what is this? Michael bay?
then chemicals get hit by flaming cr-p and blow
but this kid has a Guardian Angel as he survives
also the other kids somehow survive
in the train are white rubix cube things
turns out a truck was on da trax with a teacher in it
he has a map and schedual of the train
he wakes up and tells em to go and don't tell of it or they'd be iced
then the forces come in and the kids book it
as they drive girl sez they cant tell anyone
I think this just ripped off I know what you did last summer
the next day the news reports the train thing and fata55 wants to do more filming with the train thing
he goes to get the camera film developed and the pot head there offers fata55 some chronic and wants to b0ne his sister
main kid tries to get girl to do more scenes but she don't consent
her dad comes out and tells him to gtfo
but she then consents
later they film more cr-p with a new super 8 camera as the last one was f'd and girl senses something off
they realize the train was from da air force
the kids talk theories about the train and teacher
da forces clean up the scene as cop dad tries to figger out wat happened
and his superiors tell him to take it easy
latter superior sheriff sez a teen having a Walkman is a slippery slope
he knew the apple Icr-p would f the world
theve jobs last words; i'll…. see.... you... all... in... h-ll... ahhhhhhhhhhh!! (rotts into aids goo)
sheroff goes out and weird cr-p happens
dogs run
machines f out
light flicker
when Walkman teen comes out he finds the cop car f'd and an unseen thing gets him
later main kid does ghoul make up on girl and his homies wanna blow his model train for da movie
she acts zombie and its good
I think that's Dakota fannings sister ellie
acting skill runs in the family
must be superior dna
the ultimate life form
dad cop finds sheriff and walman teen are gone and hears of strange events
power and phones are f ing out and everyones dogs ran away
main kid comes home and dad has his cop homies over meeting about the events
this is when you pray
also da forces are searching for the girls dads car
later its night and repair guys come to fix da phone lines and gets f'd by something
at a town meeting a female sez 20 microwaves are gone and she thinks its the soviets
oh and da powers been out for 2 days
if this were today, the people would be eating eachother and drawing on the walls in their own fluids
but in the 70s we didn't need electricity as much
at the station the girls dad tells cop dad to keep his son from his girl
cops get frequencies da fore is using and listen in on their chatter
I was just watching a longplay of bionic commando on Nintendo nes and they had wire tapping too
later I missed some cuz I was doing stuff but cop dad yells at main kid over the girl
also teacher is kept by the forces in a medical thing and I think they put him to sleep
hay, its just like Canada and europe
assisted suicide without consent
later theres a tender moment with main kid showing girl his films of his mom
girl sez her dad was drinking and it might have been his fault the chick bit it at the start of the film
my fat gf is bugging me on the phone as I review this so its hard to follow
so at night the girls dad gets p-ssed at her as she might leave him and chases her
but the unseen thing gets her
later fata55 gets his film back and the crash is just smoke
also he fights over the girl he and main guy like
but the footage shows some shadow creature escaping the train
then the town goes into panik and everyones herded into camps
girls dad tells main kid the thing got girl
fat kid uses his curvy blonde sister (what is this? paranorman?) to seduce stoner photo guy to let the kids use his car
if he b0nes her pregnant, the kid might be deformed from his drug filled spurm
they go to the teachers locker thing at school and find he was in the forces
but was fired and has info on the secret
a space monster crashed and its ship split into the rubix cubes
also by experimenting on it, they made it hate and fear us
what is this? x men?!
and teacher wanted to free it
then da forces bust the kids
as they take kids away, stoner tells da cops he needs help on the radio as he smokes chronic
da cops realize the forces set the fire that evacuated the town so it would be empty for them to get the thing
as da kids are taken away by da forces, da thing attacks and flips the truck an eats the forces as the kids try to get away
cop dad gets girl dad and goes to help the kids
so the kids drive back to town somehow and all h-ll is breaking loose
takes going off on their own and f ing the ton
1 kid it wounded and fata55 and main kid go off as the others stay behind
wait, its fireworks kid and main kid
they find a hole in the ground under a building
cop dad and girl dad reconcile over girl dad icing that chick in an accident
the kids go in the hole and find an underground lair with bodies
what is this? the ratbat from graveyard shift? by steven king?!
fireworks sets of a loud sound with his cr-p and runs
space APE goes to it and main kid tries to save girl
he slaps her awake and they hug
he tells her it was her dad who told him and cared
she sez the monster just wants to go home and she felt its mind or ki or w/e when it touched her
a cop comes down but the thing gets him
it chases the kids into a corner and main kid trys to reason with it
remember in the thing from another world, the scientist did this and it iced him?
oh and the thing in here looks like a Michael bay transformer but organic
maybe if they do beast machines it can be in it
he talks the creature away and it leaves
then outside all metal floats up
what if someone had a metal late in their head from viet nam?
it uses its powers to make the metal into this big tall thing
the kids reunite with the rents and te music is very john Williams heart moving
then after cars and buildings moved, the man kids locket of his mom floats up
the metal thing is a space cr-pmobile and it flies off
this is a lot like both ET and close encounters of the 3rd kind by steven speilberg
the city is busted up but the creature who went bad is good and goes to the heavens
just like chaos in sonic adventure dx
as the credits roll, the kids film plays
its a cheesy 70s film like kiss of the tarantula or embryo
its really got that cr-ppy 70s feel
was this actually made by the kids??
its actually good
the end
I liked this
the cgi was obvious but it worked
he acting and music was good
its got a good mystery that builds and resolves well
and the ending film was a nice treat
good flow too
it doesn't feel like over 2 hours with adds
for super 8 2 I want the town to be rebuilding from the event and theres more and mote anomalies going on similar to but not the same as the space thing from the 1st film. turns out, the girl is pregnant with the aliens kid as its ki got in her from a touch and toon on its own life. also its an 8 bit nes and sega master system game where you play through a series of mini games of trying to do normal everyday stuff but with various weird things from the alien baby in her using its psychic powers in her womb like floating platforms and mazes made of items coming together to get through.

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